Open to Happy Endings

him on Riya Riya. Right. He seemed like a great guy, like a couple of your friends met him. I met him. He seemed really cool. You leave for a few months, you go to Whistler. He sends you a dildo. It's like this gift he was setting. He was trying to be funny. I didn't think that was funny at all. It picked me out and I couldn't talk to him again after he sent that dildo. I just thought, what is this anyway? So I threw the dildo right in the trash, and then I hooked up with someone in

Whistler thanks to a friend of mine. I had a little penetration there three times, so that was good. But yeah, since I've been back, it's been kind of dry. Yeah yeah, well let's say use the adjective dry and that's pretty gross. Yes, but I am back on Riya, so I'll just have to make some connections. Like basically what happens on Ryan is they've opened their dating pool. You can tell by the selection. Hey, b I like Ryan because it yields

very nice results. Like this isn't an ad for Riah, but it could be, Well, it could be, but it's not. But I I've definitely gotten a lot of like for every time I've used Raya, whether it's New York, London or l A not usually l A, only this last time COVID because I was so desperate. Right, it's yielded very good results. Then that I'm like, oh I can have sex with this guy, not man. That I'm like god like quality in terms of characteristics, like legitimate, like

decent people. You're not dealing with any weirdos. I've had a couple. So it's like the Lift of dating apps, like Uber's kind of for everybody. Lift seems to curate a little bit. Yes, okay, so maybe lift. Yeah, and I interviewed a lot of candidates during COVID. I would come over, you know, when I had those COVID tests, right, I would just tell them like I would have them come sit down outside. I'd be like, hey, I need

you to take a COVID test. I did administer the test, and then they'd sit like ten feet away from me and we talked. And the test took like twenty minutes.

And there's an actual piece of medical equipment. Yeah, it's called It was called q Health and we bought it so that I could test people and then I if I didn't like them by the end of the thirty minutes, I would just tell the person you're positive and to sctattle, and then they would have to leave the house thinking that they had COVID, and I would assume, like a couple of people at taxed on me, I'm just kidding, you don't have COVID. But I don't want to text.

I don't need to see you again. One guy, though, came over to the house and we were having fun talking. He was his COVID test was being you know process, and I said, so, what's been your COVID like protocol, like just to see what. I was like, Oh, I could fuck this guy, like, I'm definitely into it, you know, this is for sure, and he was kind of you know, it was cute, and then he said, well, I'm you know,

wear a mask everywhere I go. I don't know why I'm talk in this dumb voice when I'm imitating man. But he's like, I wear a mask everywhere I go, but I don't think they work, and I just that's a boner killer. Well that was the biggest boner killer. I just looked at him and thought, why would you say? Why did you just say that? Like, I was just going to fuck you. I was just going to wait for your COVID test to be returned negative and then I was going to allow penetration, and you blew it

by saying something like I don't think masks work. What is the point of saying uttering a sentence that is so stupid? Because men are stupid? Why don't you take my vagina off of me and walk away with it? I know, not even under the guise of a date, Like everyone knew what was going to happen in the scenario, But why would you because men are done? I don't think masks were Are you a fucking doctor? Are you

a medical examiner? Are you? I mean, honestly, who are you to tell me that you don't think masks work? They just always want their opinion heard. She should have just kept his mouth shut, and then he'd be in a much different Situationally, we probably we could probably still be together. How do you not utter that stupid phrase? Sent you a dildo? There's a cute one I was. I was talking to and he was cute. He looked promising. Although he's in New York. Fuck, I know, but I'll

go to New York at some point for something. I know. I just love sweetheart. Ever lets me out of his sight? Not likely, But I do love when you have a man in your life who you're having sex with regularly.

When we were this is a cute story actually when we were when I was in Whistler, I talked to you on the phone one morning about something and I was like, oh, by the way, I had sex last night, And he was like, I mean, the shrill in your voice, it was like having just the happiness that you felt for me was just so sweet, and I thought, wow, what a sweetheart you were. Like, sweetheart got penetration. I just love I think because I know you have a high standard and so when you let that happen, it's

like great on all fronts. It's like, oh, she got what she needed. She found someone who's probably cool. Like if you're gonna suck, they're not a dud hopefully. Um So it just seems like this is, you know, a great track for you to be on when you're getting regular penetration. I know, I know, tell me about it. I would like regular penetration because the whole thing about the sex thing is it's just so nice. It's not even I've said this to you before, but it's not

even just like the act of sex. It's the whole thing that goes with the act of sex. It's the flirtation, and it's the hand holding and the like body touching and like caressing and all that stuff that is really nice to have between two people. So it's a good reminder of like all that fun stuff because it's really

just not the sex alone, although that's a requirement. Well, and you had a great dynamic with a buildo guy because he knew that when it was a wrap on the sex that he needed to skit out of like, okay, it's time for Yeah, that was another. But he was good because he knew that. He's like, I don't want to overstay my welcome. He wasn't trying to sleep over. Well, I explained him right away that there wouldn't be sleepovers unless I wanted to sleep at his house or something

like that. But he heard it and he accepted it. Yeah, and he didn't. Yes, that was really nice. And then there was this same Bildo guy. He had come over for basically a dinner, a dinner interview with your friends, myself and Sophie, and there was it was so nice to see you in that element because you guys were sitting closely. He was rubbing your leg. It was just it was a side of you that I hadn't seen because since we've been together, you've never had anyone else.

Why would you need to Well, it's like, why would I need to ever meet any man except for you? Now? This is I love when we can talk through this because now it's starting to make sense. The reason I love that so much for you is because I know there are certain things I can't give you, like the crossing, like I'll rub your feet, like after we ski if like you need a foot rub, but like this feet after foot after we ski Ben Bruno, we went on

a ski trip once. This was our first sweetheart ski gedway and it was me, Chelsea and her trainer, Ben Bruno, and it was the beginning of the trip. Yeah, we had all touched down together, three of us, but other people were coming. We're not there yet, and I don't know that you could create a more awkward such ation or dynamic between three people. And in particular, there was one night where we're all Chelsea night. You know, we're

just in tune. We know exactly what each other want when we want it, and we both knew we just wanted to relax. We had skied. We wanted to watch a movie, watch a movie, relaxed, order food. Ben Buruna wanted to get in the hot tub. And anyone who's anyone with a brain knows you're not getting in a hot tub. Well with Ben Burn, well, I'm not getting in a hot tub at all periods, Like I'm not into hot tubs. I don't like heat as much as

I prefer other things. So that's already a thing. But yes, so he comes downstairs and he's like, hey, do you guys want to go in the hot tub? And we were watching something interesting. Yeah, we and we like we were into it already, like it had been a little bit we had been home, like settled in when we were so fucked up, like we were really stoned. And he comes down. I can't ref your shirtless or but he was definitely in short and it was like it was like a little kid. He's like, Okay, I'm going

to get a hot tub. Let's get in the hot tub. And we both look at each other like are you gonna go? I'm not going, like I'll sacrifice you, but I'm not going. We both weren't going in the hot tub. We both were like no, Ben, no one's going in the hot tub. Have fun. And then he came out again and was like who you guys want to get in the hot tube? And I was like no, we said we're not getting like still, no, we're not getting in the hot tub. I can't hember what the segue

was to this, but there was some foot rubbing situation. Oh. We asked if I wanted a foot rub and I was like no, And then you asked and I was like sure, why because I'm not a threat. Yeah, I don't think he's gonna hit on me. Ben would probably argue though, that he wasn't hitting on me, it was just being nice, but it felt like he was. There was no expectation for sex after that foot rub between you and me. With a straight man, there's still some sort of underlying like what could I turn the shot

rub into? And there's nothing. Also more life advice. There's nothing fucking worse than when you really just want a BackRub and all your partner wants to do is fuck. It's like sometimes it's just a back like sometimes I'm giving you one I don't like, I don't want more. There there needs to be some sort of expectations set with these things. I agree with that. Yeah, you can't just give somebody a background and then also ask for

one in return, Like I don't love that. No, it's like if I have to give you a foot My sister always does that. She's like, will you do me? And I'm like, I'll do you first so that you're

doing me last. Plus my sister's massages or tickles or whatever she calls them suck, So it's like, first of all, no, you don't even deserve one in return for what you're going to do to me, because I've been through these massages before and it's basically like a leaf is blowing past you, you know, or yeah, it's not even a curus. Nobody wants to give a massage after they've just gotten one, like tomorrow, I'll give you one today, you give me one, right, and can happen. But a lot of people do like

to exchange services like that. I just am not. I'm not one of those people. I'd rather pay for a massage me too, and then yeah, and then I don't have to do anything in return. Do you remember that massage therapist again on a sketch of that massage therapist, that guy that you have that came in and it was like he had never done massages before. Everything about

it was very strange. Did you come out of the room and you're just like, we got we either have to move from this location or we have to get him out over the balcony like so high this guy. Yeah, we were in Park City and he came and he was already really shady looking like he looked like like he had really long hand, very skinny, like very skinny, right, like a hippie that you wouldn't want to hang out with. Yeah, and he just looked stoned or like he could have

been on something. We'll assume it was weed, right, And so when he came in and he was doing all this like, I was on the table and he was literally like I could feel like the rush of air swiped by my body from his hands, but it was almost like he was doing like a seance over my body with his hands. And I was like, sir, this isn't a massage. Are you gonna touch my actual body? And he was like, ohh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just

getting started. And I'm like, is this a joke? Like is this a Because I was on that show Girls Behaving Badly, that hidden camera show where I did that once where I played a missus who never actually touched the person, and so I thought that, I thought, is this a joke? And then I thought what is going on here? But then of course I was a little stone, so I thought maybe you know, I'm just high, And then of course, you know, every woman's worst mistake is

assuming it's their fault. Anyway, I got up from the table and then I sent Sophie and and she got up from the table and was like, what the funk was that? And I was like, I told you, I didn't think that was a missuit. She's like, you didn't tell me. I'm like, oh, well, I told Brandon. That's one of those experiences that you never because you can't put it into words. Even if it's bad, you have to have someone else experience it to reaffirm what you

went through. Well, at the point, like once an hour was finally over because he was like, do you want ninety minutes, I'm like, no, actually, I want forty five. Now now that you've started to get back the last hour, then I for the last like twenty minutes. I couldn't stop thinking about how funny it would be for Sophie to be getting this massage, and how excited I was for her to be in the same situation I was in. So by that point I was like, oh no, she's

gonna get it. Well, two very different personality types too, that we both stayed there and allowed it to happen. So the common thread is that women allow stupid ship to go on for some reason. I bet a man wouldn't have done that. A man would have said, what the funk is this and gotten up and walked up? Have you ever gotten up? No? I feel too bad

for the masseuses exactly. I I have. I had problems asking for extra strength, like for a few years because I didn't want to offend the masseuse, And now I know how to stand up for myself in a nice, normal way. Do you ever feel like when you ask for added pressure that they add so much to try and prove a point. Yeah, that fucking annoys me. I think that's just a voice in your head. I don't

think that they're doing that for purpose. Now. I think that's what we just think because we're paranoid about saying anything in the first place, and then when they up it, we're like, uck. Yeah, I have a harder time asking for an adjustment. I've gotten up times. I'm just like, I'm just not comfortable in the middle of a happy ending. Yeah, I don't care. There's nothing worse than wanting to relax.

Have you got have you intensely? Have you ever gotten a happy ending during I know it does actually happen. I don't know. I think they're signals or there's something you have to do. You have to give them some sort of guidance or insight to what about opening your legs and pointing at your vagina is? I think I once had a friend who told me I worked with her. She told me that she was at one of those resorts in Santa Barbara and that the missus would go down on her all the time. And I was like,

I remember our whole group was working. Was when we were on Chelsea lately and we were all sitting around a table, going, are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, hey, if guys are going down on women and during massages, like, why isn't that not happened to me? Because I would be open to that happening, would you. Yes, some misseus just finishing me off before I get of course, I'm

open to that. I think that that's part of the issue though, is I've never had anyone massage me where I would want them to finish any I don't put that. I don't want them to do anything like there's no kissing. There's just we're not holding hands, we're not even communicating. They just are going to go down on me as a service. Yes, would it matter too if it were

a man or a woman? Well, so if you ever massage, Yes, upcoming massuses, but tell not for him though Highma is married and it is my missus here in l A, but at resorts. If you guys are down with that, so am I. You just need to check that box at the bottom of your intake forms that you would like to be finished. They don't say, they don't put anything, just write it in. Yeah, I like a ballot, like a ballot for a candidate that's not on the ballot. That's what I should say the next time I get

a massagic. I'm before you get started, before you go down on me at the very end, will you just give me like a ten minute warning just said, it's like the preface of this is the expectation, and just slip it in. Be like, okay, so I like a medium pressure my lower backs when hurting and when you go down on me. If we could just not make eye contact. Oh okay, it sounds like we're gonna a break and we'll be right back. Should we get into

some advice. Yeah, we've covered a lot of topics. They're like, we're giving me advice, now, well, let's give us some advice to Kirby's Kirby, He's fifty three, He writes, Dear Chelsea, my name is Kirby. I'm fifty three and have several underlying health issues like insulin dependency, neuropathy, and my legs and arms and many more. But those are the things that make me miserable. Well aft my kids are all adults. My ex wife was killed in a motorcycle accident in

two thousand and nineteen. Three months later, my mother died of terminal leukemia. I'm an alcoholic. I try not drinking, but it doesn't last long and I go right back to it. I didn't even drink until I was thirty two years old. I was always a functioning alcoholic, but in the last year it's been something I go to daily, nightly, even hourly. Then I just have to stop for a few days. I'm not doing bad. My house is paid for,

I have no car payment. But I feel like I'm going to overdo it one time and my kids will find me dead. I'm not suicidal at all, and never even crosses my mind, but I worry one day my body is going to say fuck you, Kirby, and it will be over. I just can't stop drinking in excess. It's when I'm by myself, which is often and I suffer bad for days, and I often isolate myself from everybody, including my kids. I'm drinking now, but I can still gather my thoughts. I don't know what to expect from this.

Hopefully I won't be made fun of. Well, I think we should set up we're never gonna make fun of people serious issues. No, no, of course not no, We're not here for that, absolutely not. I'll make fun of people that don't have serious issues, but not people that do. I think Kirby has to stop drinking. Kirby, I think you need to stop drinking, and I think you need to like, I think you need a community. Like it sounds like you feel very alone, and I think you

should start by going to a a meetings. You probably weren't expecting to hear that, but like, you really really need a community of people who understand what you're going through, because what's happening to you. You're not the only man in the world that feels this way. So you need to be in a situation where you can hear other people talking about their problems and their struggles with alcohol.

And that is a I completely agree. I mean this is Yeah, this is because you have all the signposts here, like you're saying you can't control your drinking. You you're excessively drinking. Your kids are all adults, so of course you don't have to focus your attention on them. And your wife passed away in a terrible accident, and then

your mother died. Like I understand that you're feeling very sorry for yourself, and that's okay, but you can't feel sorry for yourself and then on top of that, drown yourself an alcohol. You can feel sorry for yourself and not drink, but you can't do both well. And this really speaks to me because my mom and career about

the same age. She had a lot of stuff happen early in life that can really set someone's life plan on a different path, and it's hard to get back to a place where you're operating and functioning at a high level and happily. But it's not too late, So Kirby, my mom did a a for six months. She did it religiously. I think she was going like two or three meetings a week, and it really that was when we all thought she was back on the right track. And she has since fallen off of the wagon and

it's a process. So you just have to get yourself started. You have to find a group, an a group, You need to find a sponsor, you need to find something to do in the place of drinking. There are small steps you can take to just make yourself feel like you have more control than you do now, and eventually the control will come. I know you're in pain because you have an insulin dependency, and it says you have

neuropathy in your legs and arms. But like, drinking can't be your amelia in that's not going to be your pain fixer. You have got to get alcohol out of your repertoire. For someone like this, would you recommend they try cannabis? I would, But I think right now you need to take a like he needs to get his head clear. So you're fifty three years old, Like that

is not old, not anymore. Like you have a lot of life, and don't you want to share that with someone and don't you want to have more adventures and have more enjoyable times, Like you can't just be putting a band aid on a band aid on a band aid, So you need to go to a a I think, and that's where you can start with, like you know,

talk therapy because you'll be talking to other people. And the other thing I would suggest, if you can afford it, or if your health care provider can provide it, is to get a therapist because you need to really be talking this stuff out. Men hold too much stuff in and then it just leads to this and then it becomes insurmountable and you feel so sorry for yourself, and I don't want you to feel that way. And you can also look into there are subsidized therapists basically in

every area or online now online therapy. I recommend looking for one that subsidizes based on your current income if that if that's an issue, and it may not be, but finding someone that you're comfortable to talk to you outside of a a as well to hold you accountable for the things that are affecting you personally that don't have to do with your alcoholism, because that's another thing that I've realized in what I've been going through my family, is that everything is not to do with the alcohol

being incorporated into your life. That it's not all the result of that, and you're not drinking because of all the those things. There's just a lot to unpack in your life, it seems like, and having someone there outside of your a A meetings to delve into those things, it is probably gonna be really beneficial to you. Yeah, I agree with that, And I think if A just sounds like so overwhelming to you, there's a reason it does,

because it's your ticket to happiness. And I swear if you really focus on getting alcohol out of your life, I guarantee you you will find joy and happiness again. I guarantee you, Kirby, let us know, keep us posted. We hope you're doing. Okay. That was a serious one. Well, the people have serious issues, and you know, sadly, this is one of those things that all these things are compounding on him. So he has health issues, he's had emotional distress over these last years, and then the pandemic

for everyone over the last year. I'm sure it's just blanket, wet blanket on a wet blanket. I mean, as feels like he's drowning. But I would have never believed it with the A thing, But after seeing the result of it from either people that I know or my mom specifically, there's a reason that it works. There's a reason bowl who stick to it seemingly have a positive outcome because if nothing else, and people fall off the wagon all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just people don't realize

how easy it is. It's just that one hump you have to get over, which is the initial you know what I mean. It's like going to do what you want to do and then sticking, like going to the meeting is the hardest thing. And I just wish you would think about your age, like fifty three, you could have a whole other life. You could have two more lives. You're a man, you could get married seven more times. This will seem like a blip. You just have to do it. Go to the first once, like the first

workout class. Once you do the first one, the rust aren't that bad and you realize the conditioning that you're going through while you're there and that you are getting better. So good luck, Kirby. Maybe I should just have sex with all these people. Maybe that would help. Maybe we should be sex therapist. Well, sex sex as the therapy. I mean, like there are actual people who have sex with people to not cure, but to help alleviate some of these Uh really yeah, it's a sex therapy. There

are only so many states. I think it's many countries set that allow for it. But yeah, there are people that have like severe social anxiety and they'll see a sex therapist to get that intimacy to feel more comfortable around. Okay, well, I don't think we should offer that service yet until we find a caller that I think I'm attracted to. Yeah, well we'll set that expectation for season two. Okay. Our next submission comes from t Mr T Just Letter T

twenty two out of Vancouver. She right, Oh, this is nice, Hi, Chelsea and Brandon. That's me. I need sex life advice. I'm a girl in my twenties and I'm struggling. My first relationship started when I was beginning high school and it lasted until my first year of university. He was abusive and I experienced intimate partner sexual violence for pretty much the entire time we were together. I'm very sorry

to hear that. Fast forward a few years. My new boyfriend is amazing and I'm super attracted to him, but I really struggle to feel the mood for sex. How can I get my libido going? Well? This two is a very serious question. But this is something that I imagine, sadly a lot of women deal with. And we have t on the phone. Hi, Hi, how are you? I'm good? How are you guys? We're good. We're glad you called. Yeah, thank you. I'm honestly shocked that I even got a response.

I was totally not expecting anything. Oh yeah, well we're serious about our quest or no, it's not a quest, it's more of a well, it's certainly not a journey. It's not a journey. So T Are you attracted to your boyfriend now? Of course? Yes, you are? Okay? And have you guys had sex? Yes? Yeah, you just have

trouble getting into the mood. Yeah, it's just like I don't know, It's it's often once it starts, I'm like, okay, yes I am enjoying this, but often when he tries to initiate, I'm kind of just like, it doesn't feel comfortable. And that's not anything with him. I'm a d percent comfortable with him. I mean, honestly, it's it's trauma. Like really, if I think about it, that's what it is. And are you comfortable making the move on him? Though you

are comfortable when it starts that way? Yeah, yeah, to a degree. I'm I'm not super confident in making the move aggressive not aggressively, that's not the right word. But yeah, yeah, Like if it's just like we start kissing or whatever and it kind of moves naturally, I'm good with that. But like making like a statement or like, right, you're not coming out of your room like in a negligent or something, right, Yeah, neither am I. By the way, so I'm with you on that. You've discussed your past

relationship with him, right, the abuse? Yeah, yeah, definitely, so he understands, right, have you always this to him? How you he's he's super super good with it, and it always is asking me throughout the whole way, like are you good? Is this okay? Like he's definitely really good

with that. Yeah, okay, So you have to find ways just to turn yourself on in totally what I would say right off the back up this is something this is a perfect example where we need to sex them a pi us or somebody like you know, a survivor's therapist who can actually speak to this, and we will try and find that person for you. But I would say, instinctively off the bat, how long have you been dating

your new boyfriend, like three years. Okay, so that's a long time, right, Yeah, And so have these feelings abated during that time where they did they used to be stronger? Yes. So in the beginning, my thing is that I kind of disassociate during sex. My mind just wanders and all of a sudden kind of blank out. In the beginning, that's what was happening, and I was like, I'm not

enjoying this. So then I kind of started trying to have the conversation with him about like what happened, and that went fine, and then so it kind of progressed. Now it's just kind of like duck in this little rut. Is there anything that he can do or those moments where you do find yourself with your guard down and

you feel more comfortable? Is there not? I hate to use the word like four play, but is there a build up or a setup that he has been able to do or that you acknowledge and realize like, okay, this is this is what propels the sexual interaction where I feel comfortable Initially, Yeah, I found specifically being at my house in my bed, I find that is more comfortable and I tend to feel better in that space. And then also, I don't know why, but having a shower first seems to work like it can kind of

just if we shower together. I don't know why, but it's comforting there, and then it can kind of progress. Yeah, and so when you say you're stuck in a rut, like so, things were okay for a while and then this happened, or like you said, things used to be a little bit more intense and so they've intensified less.

But what do you mean by the rut exactly? We've had discussions where he's obviously really good about all this, but he has expressed, you know, that he doesn't always feel desired, and I don't want him to feel like that because obviously this is a mutual thing where it should both be feeling that way. So I guess the issue is making him feel that way too, and getting confidence in myself and yeah, just feeling in the mood

to actually initiate that. I think that the strongest aphrodisiac is communication, right, So, like that is really you guys seem to have a really good dialogue and he seems to obviously be very careful with what's happened to you and your past so he's obviously very dedicated to making sure that you feel safe. So I think if you say, like, if you have these conversations and you're like, listen, I want to give you what you want, and I want

to be more sexually open. But this is like a process that we have to learn how to do together, and I want to be in this with you, and I want to open up more, like be more free sexually with you because I trust you, because I love you, you you know all the right things. But I think having a really open dialogue with your partner is going to lead to success quicker than later. Have you had counseling.

I've just kind of started again. I went a couple of times, and it was kind of towards the beginning and it was just so hard to even get words out about it. So I've just recently started going again. But yeah, that's obviously I need to do that. That's I know, going to help a lot. Yeah, that's gonna

help a lot. And you know, we will try and find a sexual therapist that we can we can put you in contact with to help you, like somebody who specializes with victims of abuse or that have been an abusive relationships prior, because I'm sure there's a lot of tricks up somebody's sleeves for what to do, and we do want to help you. But obviously this isn't my specialty or wheelhouse sweetheart, right, but I do think the communication, you know, like I'm sure you guys have an open

communication already. Yeah, that's one thing that definitely wasn't so much in the beginning, just because I wasn't communicating about it. I wasn't. It's a hard thing to talk about, right, But yeah, that's definitely gotten a lot better, especially like even in the last three four months, we've been talking

about it a lot more. Yeah, So I would say over communicate during this time, you know, because it will only bring you closer together, and so he can have a better understanding of where you're coming from, and you can start to understand that that is your past, that's not your present, and you'll be able to be a little bit more free hopefully. And in the meantime we

will get us well, we'll find somebody. Yeah, awesome, this is a good mission for us to go on on your behalf, So we'll we'll be in touch, Okay, thank you, all right, keep smiling to thank you bye bye. Keeps your miiling, keep shining. I know it's and there's so much like I see her, and then I think of my little sisters, and I'm like the fact that anyone could put someone in that position to feel out of control of their body or that they're owed someone something

through their body, like, it's just it's so horrible. This is the other thing is I hope that for someone like that, they can get their power back by talking about it to other people, going to a support group, or helping younger girls who are currently experiencing this, because I feel like once you put yourself in that position to help someone else, it gives you a sense of self again. They're like, Okay, whatever was taken from me,

I'm helping someone else, Like you get something back internally. Yeah, No, I think you're probably right about that. And it's also it's really hard to talk about sexual abuse, but it's really hard for someone's power to be taken away. It's it's not fair because nobody gets to do that, you know, nobody gets to take somebody else's power away. But I do feel like she, based on the limited information we had that her boyfriend is probably, you know, good guy.

He's understanding, he's trying to process this with her, and there need to be more men like that that understand the dynamics of past sex issues that women have gone through and being patient. So yeah, I agree with that. Her next amission, who is a caller. Her name is Charlotte. She's from Houston. She's twenty three, a recent college grad. She writes, Dear Chelsea, how do I stop feeling so ugly all the time? I can't stop looking in the mirror and thinking about how people I find hot would

never find me beautiful. You seem so confident and I want that, Charlotte, are you there? Hi? Yes? I am Hi, Charlotte, hiute? I know what are you talking about? Well, it feels it feels stupid to think about because it's like such a shallow thing to care about, and I hate using

brain power thinking about it. But I just like spiral sometimes and I spend too much time like looking in the mirror, and I just I can only see the things that our flaws and that I hate about myself, And then I like go on Instagram or whatever, and I'm not just like comparing myself to models or whatever, But I'm looking at like my peers and I'm like, oh this, I'm not measuring up. And I really struggle with that. And you just seem so confident and like

you don't care, and I admire that a lot. Well that's bullshit. I do care. I just care more. I do. I care immensely, But I care more about also myself worth than I care about my look. I care a lot about my look. So don't think that I do not care. Okay, I live in l A. It's impossible not to care. But I know the cycles that bring me down. And one of them is trolling through Instagram and looking and comparing yourself to other people. And the other thing is looking in the mirror all the time.

Do you know many times I've been at lunch with somebody and there's like a reflection or glass behind there wall that I'm facing. I'll be sitting across from somebody and they'll be glass or and I'll be sitting there staring at myself, and then I have to realize, oh my god, you're sucking at lunch and you're staring at yourself. Could you be a big Like? There is no bigger loser than that person, right, so you can't be that person. You know, we're not in the business of looking at

ourselves in the mirror all day long. That was for when we were little girls growing up and we had nothing better to do. So you have to get rid of those habits. A they're not helpful, you know what I mean. You should limit your time to Instagram for a few you know, for whatever is a reasonable amount of time for you, And you should try and get out of the habit of like staying too long in front of the mirror, even if it's in the morning

or you're getting ready. You're totally horrible. You're pretty, you're beautify, like you have I don't know what you're talking You're like making a problem where there is none. Well, it's the most part of the reason I don't want to talk about it is because I feel like it can come off as like fishing for compliments, and then people are like, oh, what are you talking about? But I feel like it's like a deeper issue than that. I mean, I appreciate it, thank you. I just it's uncomfortable to

hear when we're telling you. I'm sure there are there are these things that when people are doing it's like it's so hard to see yourself the way someone else sees you, and so then when you're going through it, it's like you don't want to vocalize it because you know someone would kill to look like you. Yeah, it's just just strange. But and it's okay, it's okay to acknowledge it. But you also have to accept it that

we can never look like someone else. So comparing yourself to someone is a dead end, Like you're never going to fulfill yourself that way, So you have to look at what else you're contributing to society as a person, Like maybe you have a killer sense of humor. There's so much more to you than your looks, and you already have great looks. So it's also it's also like you think I exude confidence, Okay, Like I am very confident about myself, and I think, like you have to

really focus on what your where your confidence is coming from? Right? Where are you getting your confidence from? From your job, from your family, from your friends? Right? Where is it coming from? I mean I guess my friends, Like my friends are you know, they're the people that hypen me up the most, and they're like the most important thing to me so, and what are the people I care about? Right? Right? But you don't have to care. That's not your confidence, though,

where are you getting your self esteem from? Like you could get self esteem from some of your friends, but like where is your self worth coming from? You know? How do you think about yourself? I guess my personality, Like that's what I think I bring to the table when I meet people. And that's when I think I bring to the table when I am out and about right,

And that's well, that's plenty. I mean your personality alone, like if you know you're adding to the mix when you show up somewhere or that like your friend group is going to have more fun once you get there. Like that's a lot to be confident about. Do you know what the fucking worst thing in the world is is going to like a dinner or happy hour with people who are beautiful but fucking duds and that's all that's all of l A. You'll go and this, like

I do it to myself all the time. You'll show up and there's this like beautiful gay guy sitting next to me, and I'm like, what I would I would kill to look like you. But he doesn't have a thing to say. He's not cracking one joke, he's contributing nothing. Why is that an issue? Because everything that we use to measure ourselves right now is based on a photo online, So we can't tell what sort of personality someone has. You know what started TikTok? You'll probably shine there because

it's a video where someone can see your personality. I know that that's true because my friends we call it like hot girl syndrome, because if you grew up beautiful, if you were always like a pretty person, if you were never bullied in middle school, you never had to like develop a personality to fight your way through it, and they like get away with things that normal people can't. Like we'll be at the bar and we'll be like

can we please come in? And they'll be like no, And then our beautiful friend will be like, hi, can me and my seven friends come in? And they're like, of course, please come in. Like we'll roll out the red carpet and it's just I don't know, like it's but you should see that for what it is, right Like, So that's her advantage in life, right, So she gets to get all of her girlfriends into a bar and that's her advantage. Your advantage may not be that, but

you've still got something that she doesn't have. And it's not all about that, you know what I mean, Like it really isn't everybody who's like so hung up on how beautiful they are or how they can be more beautiful. Guess what, unless you're willing to get plastic surgery, you're not going to be able to change your face. You know, if you want to look like a Kardashian, you could surgically look like that. But like, I think confidence comes from a lot more than just the way you look.

So you should dig into the reasons or the circumstances where you do feel confident and remember what those were about. Yeah, you know, I don't know. I do feel like it's challenging because I do, like I think it is different for women than it is for men, and I think that's fucking ship. Yeah, and I mean it is. I feel like it's so obvious that like your looks as a woman impact your time in business in relationships, Like it just that's just the way it is, and I

wish it wasn't that way. I wish it was all personality. But like the way you look does matter so much? And I I mean you obviously know that living in l A. But like, I think that's another reason where when people are like, oh, just get over it, or you're pretty enough, and then it's like, well, but it does matter because it's so clear like in everyday life

that pretty people get treated even better. Yeah, but you're still arguing about something that you can't change, right, I mean, you are the way you are you're I mean, which again is like you are a beautiful which is pretty. Yeah, so you are the way that you are. So like it's like you're saying like, okay, So it's like me sitting here and going, God, I wish I had more money, more money, more money, more money. Look at that person, look at that person. I want more money. I want

more money. I want more money. It's like, well, no, that's not a good example because if you really wanted the money, I would go after you know what I mean that example, and I'm making that like everyone has something else and that it's not always obtainable. So yeah, maybe the money thing for you would be accessible, but maybe there's a role that you wanted or a show or something that you couldn't get that does not diminish

what you do have. Right, So that very very kind of like corny saying of not focusing, like, don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do have, is actually very meaningful to me. I always do that whenever I get in any sort of negative rut. I'm like, just focus on what you have and what you can offer and who you are. Why are you different than everyone? Which you are? You know what I mean, You're a

unique person. So yeah, our self worth is like it's it's almost like you're allowing it to be dictated to you, right, You're allowing the men in charge to tell you that this girl is prettier because you see her on your feet, or this girl's prettier, that girl's prettier. You're running a race that you can't win. Yeah, you know, so find that thing. It's a skill, a talent, maybe it's something

that you have, like baking, whatever that is. Like, again, it's hard to quantify on Instagram how good you're going to feel about yourself in that way, but those little things a personality is way more important to me than looks at this point in every person. But it gives

you an inherent sense of confidence. When you find whatever that is that you're really great or that you really love, you'll realize it's less about your looks because you were just looking for something to give you that confidence boost. And then you realize, oh, I was investing energy in this wrong thing. Like think of all this time and energy you're putting into wishing you look like this person.

So this person might like you, take that energy invested into something that you can physically put your finger on that like, oh this makes me feel good and other people appreciate it, and you're gonna realize like, oh, I actually don't care that much that I don't look like this woman. Yeah, that's really great advice. Well, it's true. It's just like find something. I'm doing that right now. It's hard. And pat yourself on the back every time

you do. Add something like you know, if you have a good time with your girlfriends and you were a big part of that, you know, go like way to go. You know, like remember to tell yourself why you're valuable? Do you work? I just graduated college, so I'm congratulations. That's also awesome that you just graduated college. Give yourself about on the back for that girl. I didn't even get that far, which means you have a lot of time to figure it out. Everything seems like imminent right now,

like I have to figure this out. It's not. There's a lot of time left. Yeah, but you know, it is an inside job, like your confidence is up to you. It's an inside job. As my psychiatrist Dan always tells me, everything is like it's whatever mental story you're going to tell yourself every single day, and you have to get into the habit of telling yourself why you're valuable and that it's not dependent on your looks. It's not all physical. It's such a minor part. It seems like it's the

only part, but it's not. Yeah, it's not just the celebrity. Is like, I can't help but compare myself to my friends. But remember everyone is doing that. So someone is doing that to you. Someone you're encountering throughout your day is saying, like I wish I looked like that girl, Like I wish I had her laugh her teeth. Whatever it is, it is a constant, revolving wheel of comparisons. Do you have a sister? I do I have an older sister? Okay,

are you guys tight? No? Okay. I was just gonna say, like, when I get a little distracted by like what's important and what isn't, I remind myself to think about if I would allow this to happen to my sister. Would I allow my sister to go through the day beating

herself up about her looks? No, I wouldn't. So I was going to say to you to think of someone in your life that you really care about and how you would feel if they were treating themselves like this, like a daughter or a niece or you know, someone's friend, Yeah, one of your best friends. Like, you don't want anyone to feel this way. You don't want you want to be empowered and emboldened as a woman and as an example for other women in your life. Right, I mean

it is true. Like also, personality effects so much of what you see as beautiful people, because if someone's beautiful and they're a shitty person, you don't think that they're attractive anymore exactly. And let me tell you, if you had a confidence to walk up to that ouncer or security at the bar with an authority like you were going to get in, he probably would have let you in. It's just like that Amy Shumor movie. Like, it's all

about your perception. So if you come off like no, I'm like I am hot, I look fucking hot, I feel hot, Like that's what people are going to see. When you're perceiving yourself in a certain way, it can challenge what people think of you because it's just the energy you're putting off. So go into tomorrow with a different mentality of how you're going to look at yourself in the mirror through other people's lenses, and I'm sure

you're going to see an adjustment. Yeah, like confidence is hot. Yeah, thing, So grab onto that. Write a fucking note to yourself. Put confidence right next to your nightstand, so when you wake up every morning, you're like, okay, copy that and then carry it around with you. All right, I'll put it on my mirror. Yeah yeah, put it on your mirror. Yeah, with a picture of me next to it with a thumbs up. Yeah, that's what I'll put that. I love that.

I'll see that every day. Yeah yeah, and then remember confidence. Report back, Charlotte. Let us know how it's going. Well, do you have a boyfriend? No, Okay, I don't want that. Okay, you don't. Well, that that's confidence right there. There you go? Okay, all right by Charlotte. Problem, thank you so much. This was so great by Charlotte. Fine, she was cute. Yeah, another cutie, Petuti. The confidence issues that people place on the very pervasive issue, and especially like younger girls, it's

real bad out there. Huh. Aren't you so glad that you didn't grow up with social media? So glad I don't have a child. I am so glad I don't have a daughter that needs to be raised or that needs confidence instilled in her, or that I have to watch a girl like go through heartbreak or I couldn't. When do you feel your most confident? I don't know.

Actually have multiple parts that, like when do you feel sexist? Well, I mean it helps to be like in hair and makeup, you know, like an out and about in a nice outfit and like where you're dressed up. You know, I'm not gonna get dressed up on my own. So that's half the time. I feel the most confident when I'm working and I have to be in hair and makeup and I'm appearing on like a talk show or Okay,

but so let's split that up. Is that when you feel your sexiest or most confident or do you feel like those are one and the same, because that's women are conditioned to believe that they're most confident should be when they feel the sexiest. There's so many perspectives to take on this, but yeah, I'm sure that the hair and makeup, you do feel sexy because you feel put together, you feel presentable. Some women feel I feel sexy when

I'm having sex. That's what I feel sexy, and I'm having sex with somebody that's sexy, and I feel like, not to put a man's perspective on what you feel, but there's a certain confidence I see in you. When you're skiing and you're completely covered, you can't see any part of your body, but you are on the mountain. There is like a confidence that I see in you that you know that you can do anything. You're willing to try anything. Thank you, Brandon, You're welcome. That's what

I was saying. Surely I've like there's a skill or a talent, or there's there's so many other ways to feel feel sex, to feel confident, feel like you have something of value or worth well. I think competence is has a lot to do with confidence. You know, for women, it's like when we feel competent in an area, we feel very confident in that area, whereas men feel competent and confident when they shouldn't most of the time. Yeah, so I think women it's a game, because it's not

a game. It's almost like there's been this number done on all women, you know, believing that we have to live up to these expectations. And I'm just as guilty as the next girl for buying into all that ship. So we do care a lot about the way we look. I mean, when I see you stressing out about your looks, it's funny to me, or like you know, your diet or whatever. I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe that. But gay men are just like women like with in

terms of their vani. I've been sitting here the entire time we have been recording some of these to see what it might look like for video, And there were single frames of each of us, and there was a shot of me and the cameras crystal clear, and I hated that it's all been thinking about what about the shot? Yeah right, oh yeah, Like it stresses me out just thinking about like I don't want that single shot going anywhere like I looked like ship, Yeah, well so did I.

So we're even. So we're both canall those so now we'll do a double double shot. We don't like polaroids being taken from now on because everyone looks good in the polaroid. I like to look blown out, is what I like to look. You're not blowing out like some of these women with the filters where it's like where do your eyes begin? In your cheeks? And none of it makes sense. You're just a potato. That's who we should have. Call in a potato, your little potato, Your

next potato. Potato is not gonna be a little potato anymore. And he's not gonna sit in my lap next summer. I bet it seems like he is. He's a sprouting potato. He's going to be he's going to be an adolescent potato suit and then it's going to be no more funny stuff. How old is he? Twelve? Potato summer over?

Goodbye potato. And for those of you who don't know potato, that's my nephew who I just got a very troubling picture from my sister or my brother because it's his son where he looks like he's about fucking twenty five, and he was eleven last year and a baby and still sat on top of me. They hid an age where they will no longer sit with you in that way, and I missed it. It happened during COVID and I

missed it. So that was my last baby. We have one other baby in the family, Russell, but he did never sits with me, So it's just like Burton Bernice all over again. All right, Well, we've gotten into quite a bit today, so why don't we take a quick break and we'll be right back. Okay, sounds good. Hello Sarah from West Virginia, age thirty four. She is an

environmental biologist. She writes, Dear Chelsea, what advice do you have for people with social anxiety where you struggle with going out in public places, having to be a leader role at work, or working with people you don't know will or even in the case of healthy living, with having social anxiety, to go run or bike in public or even the gym. Sincerely, the anxiety chick who had

anxiety readiness, I know that feeling. You know who else has this feeling combasing her she has terrible social anxiety. Oh yeah, yeah she does. She has a phobia of groups. You know, there's something called propanolol that's a beta blocker.

You have to get a prescription from your doctor, but you should talk to your doctor about propan all or any other beta blocker because that will be the first step to you to kind of ease your nervousness, and it will just kind of like it just does something to your brain where it kind of blocks off the neurow pathways that send the message to your brain that you are going to be nervous. It stops that. However, your nervousness could present, like if you get dry mouth

or you have shaky leg or whatever. There are multiple ways you should talk to your doctor about a beta blocker because that helps so many people. Taras on the phone, did you realize, sorry, sometimes forget people. Sometimes people are calling it. I was just in in listening, yeahstening. What state are you in, Sarah, West Virginia? So you guys don't have legalized cannabis there? We do not, Okay, So do you have a local GP that you can talk to about a beta blocker? I do, but I do

take a maybe a beta block blocker. I take Zoloft, well that's for anxiety. All that's for depression, right, but to also take well Beautran for that, so it's a mix. So Zoloft and well Beautron though are for depression, both of them. So it is we're talking to your doctor about him prescribing you a beta blocker because I have heard some people have had not great side effects, like it kind of turns them into a zombie blah blah blah.

For me, it's exactly what I needed. I had a shaky legs syndrome period, which was very weird and unsettling. Since I stand up for a fucking living, so I take Preparanto law before I go on stage. I take a half of one. I don't really need to take it, but I take it because it's an insurance policy for me that I'm not going to get. You know what. It also helps me with not talking so fast, because that is a big problem of mine, is talking where

I'm winded and I have to slow it down. And I'm sure it's also very frustrating for the people that listen to this podcast when I talk fast. So my apologies. I am working on it, and please remember that we're not fucking doctors. I know I sound like one because I have a lot of medical experience in my own experience, and of course I'm illegally prescribing things to my friends and family. But you cannot listen to me and then say, Chelsea said, this was a great idea. You kind of

have to talk to someone else in between that. So you know what I mean. You can't. You can't listen to me and go, I said, because there are people that will do that and I'm telling you not to. So if you're listening to this podcast, you must like me, right and want to listen to me. I mean, you know you don't have to listen to me, but seriously listen to me. For instance, I had very bad anxiety, and I took one pparental law before I publicly spoke

for like a week. Then I took a half and out every once in a while, I take a half if I feel it, So you don't. You're not on it for a long period of time. But it's a good transitional prescription, I think, or something that takes the

edge off. Well, you don't want to take the edge off too much, right, because you want to be there, So you want to kind of be able to conquer your anxiety without relying on too much medication, right, And it's not something that you feel in the way like having a cocktail or like an edible or canvas where you can feel it take the edge off when you take it. I've taken one before. I gave my partner one.

He took it before officiating my sister's wedding. So it really just kind of puts you in a state where you don't even realize there's been a change, but your heart rates slower. You just feel a little bit easier in the situation. And yeah, and then I think, what what I would say to you is to try that for a while, and then you can all of a sudden just start parsing it in half. It's just about

training your brain not to have that anxiety inducement. So, like, how does your anxiety present when you are anxious and you go to like a social gathering. My heart feels like it's going to be out of my chest A lot of times if I even go. That's the part right there. I usually just don't even go. I try to think of any excuse really, like oh, my cat is sick. I just try to think of excuses if I could even go. But all the time, it's sweating, always cracking, dread of like oh man, what if I

say something wrong or bad or embarrassing? Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Okay, So this is definitely gonna help you. So you do have a g P right that you can talk to about this? I do? Okay, okay, great? And what other tools do you have in your arsenal to combat anxiety? I try to have a lot of hobbies that seems to kind of help because it helps with like fidgeting

or something softly waiting in a waiting room. I'm just like, you know, I'll just go and fidget with something, or I'll do a puzzle, you know, just like little brain game type things that just keeps my mind busy. But really that's my main outlet. And do you meditate or anything like that? I do not. Well, then there you go. That's another thing you can do that's going to help

you right away. If you start, like go onto headspace, or go on a call whoseever voice you like better, and or go onto like Deepak Chopra one of these apps. It sounds annoying, but it helps calm your brain down. So meditation as an elixir to anxiety works for sure. First of all, you should get into the practice of meditating, because no one's ever started meditating and then said that sucked, I'm worse. No one says that. So if you can get into the habit, just try five minutes, three minutes,

little times every morning. Just get into the habit of meditation. It doesn't matter how long you do it for, and then use it because there are specific ones on all of these apps. If it's for anxiety, if it's for going into a social environment, if it's for and you use that just to calm your breath down before you're entering one of these things that makes you nervous, to literally just take the time of breathing in and breathing out for three to five minutes on one of these apps,

and that will help you immensely. Meditation is just that's exactly what it's for, is people with anxiety. It sounds great too, because it's more natural. You don't have to worry about relying on anything other than just like your inner self. Really, so that would be probably the best starter for me right now. Too. That sounds great. Yeah, And do you sleep well? I actually do sleep well

until there's like a big event coming up. Then I just think about all the things that will go wrong, and then I won't sleep well, you know how dreams about it, things like that. What do you do for work, Sarah? So, I am an environmental consultant or a biologist, which means I go in catch, you know, endangered species and move them out of places. So if you wanted to build like a Walgreens or something, I would be in there and I would go, say the tortoise that was there,

or I would net the bets that were there. You have venomous snakes, I'll remove your venomous snakes. I do things like that. So the venomous snakes are on the site that they're going to build the walgreens, her mind is only going to the snakes. Snakes. We're in West Virginia, you know it could happen. So you basically go and remove whatever's block. I mean, you're not going into a Walgreens and getting the venomous snake right there. It's like

pre it's all pre construction. Okay, okay, yeah, So there's any type of threatening endangered species, we go pre was and I'll like mark all the tortoise burrows, so hopefully no one will. I'll scope it and make sure there's nobody home. If there is, we try to move it somewhere so it won't be destroyed or fun ways that they can go around it. Okay, So you know what another good thing is, because you seem very confident when

you're talking about your work. When you're in a situation, a social situation, you should choose the things that you have the most confidence and competency about when you're talking to people, and that way you're not going to say anything stupid. You're gonna be talking about your work, which is very interesting. How often do we meet a biologists? Brandon? Never you our first? Yeah, well no, that's that's really smart.

I've never even thoughts thank you. People love animals, So you can leverage this one thing that you know so much about. Who wants to turn down a conversation about sucking animals? Really nobody. Someone's got a cat video they want to show you, and if they do, they're a fucking asshole. Anyway, you don't want to be in that conversation.

But there is a certain level, like I saw that immediately as soon as you start talking about work, that your demeanor kind of changed, that your voice changed, And so I'm sure that you have that inside of you, that level of confidence with things outside of maybe your purview or your interests. But also so much of a conversation or an interaction with people is listening. Most people want to talk about themselves, so you can just let

that conversation go. People won't shut the funk up, so you can just be there and listen, nod your head. It relieves the pressure from you. And one thing that I used to do because I had like group anxiety, is I would go and introduce myself to everybody, and it gave me like a sense of control where it was like you just made this space. It was like, oh,

that's so uncomfortable. It was really uncomfortable. But when I would go to a party, I would kind of retreat and like not talk to anyone or like only talk to who I came with. And as soon as I started forcing myself to like introduce myself or compliment someone on what they were wearing to kind of break that ice, I felt like I had more control of myself in that scenario where being in that group setting didn't feel like I was so isolated and alone. It's like, oh,

I already talked to half the people here. Now I don't feel a pressure. Yeah. I mean I always like to try to challenge myself anyway. So well, that's good. That's what you should do. You should go it and so that you're controlling the situation. The situation isn't controlling you. Yeah, that's solid advice. You're right. It's it's nice to hear from a different perspective and be like, oh, yeah, it makes perfect sense hearing it. Yeah, and don't sit in

and hide away from people. Look how adorable you are. People. We need to know you and to meet you, and this is it, like, yeah, this is our life. Have fun, and you would be amazed how easy it is to get over the little things that kind of hold us back for so much. You know, if you just start giving yourself those regular challenges even more so than you already have been doing, I think you'll see results really quickly, and you'll start to notice that you feel more calm

in this situation. And you have this meditation you can use that and if worst case scenario, like if you want to go to your doctor, and get a beta blocker. Try that out. Yeah, okay, I mean here's a good challenge anyway. I mean I'm talking to Brandon and Chelsea, so that's right, pretty good challenge for the day. I think, all right, well that's the three of us. Make the a team. You me, Brandon, keep us posted. Sarah. Thanks Sarah, thank you so much. You're welcome so much. Have fun

in your next party. Oh yeah, maybe she's going right now, who knows. Bye, Sarah, Thank you. How do you feel about the advice given today? I feel like a lot of people are taking this very seriously, including us, and I think that's good. I didn't say taking ourselves very seriously. If you noticed as it taking this very seriously. So I mean you could take our leave our advice. Really, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that we're here

and available to give it. I think she may leave the propanel, but for anyone, I just think people should leverage it. If it's not like oxy, it's you know, there are things that have been created to really help enhance the way you go through life, and panel is one of them. And we had we had to have a difficult conversation one time. Oh, This is right after I painted your deck black. For anyone who doesn't know, I don't know how you wouldn't because she talked about

it everywhere. But I made a little whoopsie and we had to have a really tough conversation. Hey painted my entire deck black, shiny black, so the dogs couldn't even walk on it because their paws would burn. Yeah, it was shiny like a nineties porn set. Yeah, it was just not the color that A. It's too hot to step on, so that's not going to work. B. It was really hard to look at compared to the rest

of my house, which was brown. Well I'm beautiful, but anyway, So the point of that was we had to have a tough conversation, and I knew we were going to have to have it, and I knew there were both things that we wanted to say, and I took a propanal right before that, and we got through that conversation because it wasn't emotive, it was just facts from both

of our sides. And that was one of those times I was like, see, this is exactly why something like this exists, because you just need to get through it, right, have a great weekend. I guess yeah, we're gonna road. I think so. I think it's time. If you want any assistance with your partner, your best friend, really, anything, you can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com