Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. The last time we saw each other was at the Wheel Turn at my show in Los Angeles. It was so exciting to see you actually doing your thing. Did you come to the first show or the second show? The second show okay, good? The second show was an A plus plus amazing. You were fantastic. Oh that was so fun. Thank you. It was. It's always a nerve wracking in l A because I have so many friends and family and industry that come that
you're just like, funk funck fuck. And we did two shows in one night, and then we went to San Francisco the next night. I did two shows there. By the end of that, I was like, I can't think anymore spent. I'm sure spent, But I want to promote my Nashville show. Oh. I just announced a whole slew of news stand up. Yeah, and announced twenty five more dates to the Vaccinated and Horny tour. So if you haven't, if I haven't come to your city, check my website
Chelsea Handler dot com for new dates. And there are tickets available for my second show in Nashville, where I will be taping my special on June tenth at the Rheman. So we also have merch for sale at Chelsea Hamler dot com. We have Dear Chelsea merch and vaccinated in a horny merch and that is all all really cute. We're not selling flip flops. Contrary to popular belief. We thought about it just to say fuck you, but we did not do it. We did not pull the trigger
on that. Yes, COVID shipping delay has really made that not possible. Yeah. One other thing I was going to tell you about your show is that, totally randomly, my husband accidentally bumped into a woman and then the person she was with said, in a fun jokey way, do you know who this is? This is Chelsea Handler's housekeeper. And I was like my bell and gave her a huge hug in this huge crowd of like thousands of people. I'm like, of course, he steps on my fucking my bell.
I went to my bell. Is so funny. I went to a pet psychic. I'm hosting Jimmy Kimmel Show the week of June and we were doing some pre tape segments, right, So one of them was me taking Bert and Bernie to a pet psychic, and the pet psychic told me that Berniee loves me more than anyone, that she's just upset that I leave all the time, and that she loves me the most, and that she's always playing hard
to get, which is has been my suspicion. I've always been suspicious because Bernice is tricky and just like a girl. Right she comes in. She'll come into my room, come right up to my bed, sniff around, and when I put my head down to scratch her nose or her face, she runs out in Hall's ass like like I'm accosting her. I'm like, bitch fucking came in here, and but I know that that's it's her. She's insecure and she's just trying to get my attention, and then she wants me
to come out and play with her. So the psychic confirmed all of those beliefs for me, and I told my Bell and ever since then, my Bell has been treating Bernie's differently. Yeah, she's definitely. She sent me two pictures of them at the park this weekend. Bert was on a blanket and Bernice was in the dirt. So is my Bell jealous? Now? Well she should? Yeah, she she was jealous when I told her that she didn't smile or laugh. She takes her ownership of pretty seriously.
And when I came home from filming that bit, I said to Joe Coy, I was like, so I went to this pet psychic and she said this, And then Joe goes, well did she He goes, do you think she looked you up beforehand? I'm like, Joe, it's a pet psychic. I don't give a funk what she did. Like, I'm not going there for some real information and feedback. Even though the one piece of information I did like, I decided to take. Yeah, keep what works for you,
get rid of what doesn't. Right. Yeah, it's very exciting to be in New York City together. Yes, I can't believe it. It was this weird thing where you had today available. I was randomly going to be here in New York and I'm heading to a plane in a few minutes after this. But there was like a one hour and a half window where we could come and also our fabulous guest today could be here. I know, we're very excited about our guests today because we've been
trying to do this but in person only. Because she's the type of person you only want to be in person with because she's that kind of girl, and we made it happen here in New York today. She is a supermodel, a body activist, an entrepreneur, global ambassador for Nicks. She just launched a new lingerie campaign with Nixt and it's called a Big Strong Woman campaign. And she just joined a skincare brand where she's an investor and partner and it's called Big One. Please welcome Ashley Graham. Thank
you for having me. Oh my god, thank you for coming, because well we're in New York today and we wanted to do this in person. And I know that you have been a baby making machine for one. Seems like she's had about eight babies in the last It's what it feels like. And every time I look at them, I'm like, there's more of you, and it feels like they're just they're just they're growing and growing. Anyways, Yeah, we're good. Thanks are you leaving? He's just supervirising always.
It's like, now you're like really working people that you're sleeping with. I love it. Any other way to do things. The guy who was just on on screen there, he's my husband sleeping with him. Now that women, now that women are allowed to. Is that your mom? Yes, that is my mom. Yeah, and my sister she looks just like you. How cute. Oh, it's a family affair today. I love it. Did you dye your hair and you have your eyeshadow in the same tone on purpose? I was telling my mom used to have to tell her
not matchy matchy. It's not in anymore, like after the nineties. It's over and you know, we were just talking about it. I'm like, I'm sorry, mom, matchy matchy is back in again. She's like, I just learned to stop doing that. Like it's called monochromatic. Now. I love a monochromatic mama. I feel cute. Your mother must be stoked though. Okay, so there's you know, she's like there's grandma and then there's caretaker Grandma, and she's caretaker Grandma. So she really likes
her days off. Oh it's different. It's different like being granny who just comes in and sees the babies and like leaves. She's like, okay, another day for you know. I had Isaac in and then I had my twins the top of this year in two and it's like, right when I stopped breastfeeding, I got pregnant with the twins. It was just boom boom boom, my body. I've given it up to love. That's what Justin said, You gave your body up to love. I'm just I'm ready for
it to come back, like to see myself again. But I look at my little angels and I said, I did it for you. So were you planning on getting pregnant that soon after or did you? We talked about it. Yeah, we said, okay, if we're going to do this again, let's do it. And it wasn't like a hard decision because we knew we wanted a second. But I didn't know it's going to happen that quickly. And I did not know it was going to be twins. If I would have known it was going to be twins, I
probably would have waited maybe another year. I am glad I got it over with. I always wanted three kids. I didn't want a middle child. I didn't know how that was going to work. But why do you say that? Are you? I'm the oldest, and I am the boss eest, I'm the loudest. I run the show and I have seen how my baby sister acts and my middle sister acts, and I just never wanted a middle child, didn't want anyone like your middle sister. I'm a middle child. You are,
and do you feel like you're a handful um? Maybe last than my sister who's in the other room right now. Love you, Diana. It's hard when your family is listening to the podcast in the next room, to be quite frank. I love my sisters, but I have met so many middle children, and I just that was my one request. So I feel like God was on my side and he said, Boom, you get twins. And there are two hours and seven minutes apart. Two hours and seven minutes.
Oh God, that sounds like what happened in those two hours, and literally laboring in a tinyess in New York City bathtub because I was having my birthpool set up and it just wasn't happening fast enough. And then boom, Roman was like I'm coming out, mom, Oh my god. So yes, I have been pregnant for two years, breastfeeding for freaking
two years. I'm on their four months now, I'm looking at six months, and I'm going to check in mentally with myself, see how I'm doing, and then either stop or yeah, but I'm supplementing with formula, so it feels like there's no formula shortage. So don't worry about that. It is such a thing. But yeah, it's a tough
situation right now for all those families that need formula. Yeah. Absolutely, Well tell me a little bit about what your experience has been, because it's not just like you had one baby. It is kind of like you had three babies and you're done now. Because you know the statistics. If you have three boys in a row, you automatically get a girl. Because my mom. Yeah, well everybody keeps telling me, you know you're gonna have a fourth if then it's going
to be a boy. Oh no, No, once you have three, if one sex, the chances are higher that you're going to have the opposite sex. My mom and all of her sisters had three boys and then girls. Yeah, my mom had three boys and three girls. Okay, so you're telling me maybe I should try it again. Well, if you want a girl, you know, I mean, unless you're counting one of the kids to transition, you know what I mean, Right, you have to hence your bets, Like, if you really want a girl, I think three is
a great number. For kids in a family, but four is also a great number. I come from a big family like you company are there there six? And you come from like you either make what you had or you abstained all together. You have a sister, Yes, we're but we're two of four, so we have brothers on either side. And my brothers are actually fourteen years apart. Same parents, like same mom and dad were released spread apart. But yeah, we'll like each other. So I could just
wait another ten years, maybe exactly have a caboose. How does Justin feel? What is it? What are his thoughts about? He got a vasectomy? Oh, well I guess that answered, Well, then I guess you're not having another baby. You can reverse it. The doctor who gave it to him said he's done as many reversals as he's done actual vasectomies. So that's like where we're standing right now. I knew I love Justin for a reason. You know what, It
really takes a real man to get a sect to me. Yes, I think that it's important to have that conversation in your relationship. But he didn't have to have the conversation with me. He just told me, I'm going to do it. I don't want You've done enough. He said, you carried these children, you pushed them out, and I saw what you went through. I can get a vasectomy. I know. I didn't even have to ask him. I wish there were other straight men listening to this podcast to take
this advice, you know what I mean. That's a real man, and you guys have a beautiful, beautiful relationship that anyone who's ever met and either one of you or even watched you on social media can glean. He's such a sweetheart. I feel so blessed to have him as my husband's We're about to celebrate eleven and a half years, so I guess no, we're about to celebrate twelve years. Yeah, and three kids later. I mean, I don't know what we're gonna do for that twelfth year celebration, but it's
going to be something fun. I mean, you're about to have one year celebration was a lot different. You have to celebrate one year. Oh, Joe will want to celebrate one year. He's all about celebrating. Is he the romantic? Yes, yeah, he's the romantic. And I have a hard time. Oh well, actually, you know the first time Joe and I got together. I went to Nashville. I was performing in Nashville and I was staying at a friend's house and I got there and my assistant called and she goes, walk outside,
there's a delivery for you. And I went and I saw three dozen long stemmed roses, and I immediately my first instinct was like cringe, like roses. Don't send me roses. And then I thought, no, Chelsea, Chelsea, that's the old you you've been to. This is a man who's demonstrating love. Accept it, he loves you. I had to say it like in my head three times, like this is a nice thing you like, and I was like, okay, okay,
I love this. And then I embraced them, and thankfully I did, because he kept sending them over and over again. And then we started sending them back and forth to each other before each other's shows and performances. And then finally I was like, hey, can we put a pin in this? It's getting really expensive. It's like fucking dollars every time. I'm like this is some ways like we're not taking them with us, We leave them at the venue. Have you figured out what that thing is in us?
Because my mom has it too, and it's like she's she's not a romantic so and then I feel like I picked it up from her, like I don't. I feel like there's a part of me that wants the romance but I don't. But I don't want to see it overtly in my face. And I'm more like acts of service. Right, we all know the five love languages? No, no, no,
actually what are they? Because I always forget the fifth one? Okay, So acts of service, physical touch, time spent, gifts, and words of affirmation, and mine is definitely acts of service and maybe words of affirmation, like I don't need to hear that I'm great because I know I am, but it isn't I see it from my husband like I'm really proud of you, or you did a great job. We're getting a vasectomy, right, that's an act of that.
That's why I was like, Wow, you're amazing. There is like this period after you get a vasectomy, though, you have like sixteen ejaculations that you have to go through before the sperm is dead. So we're literally like we have one to show during those sixteen you can still get pregnant, yes, And did you freeze any eggs? Just he actually put some sperm in a in a bank. Oh well, there you go. He's not making me do anything. I'm telling you, it's amazing. He did all the hard
he did that part. I did my part. I was gonna say he did the hard part, but his part was definitely not that hard at all. That's so interesting that you get sixteen. That's what the toxic number. He said. It's like sixteen or like three months something like that. Yeah, so I guess it's like in three months, maybe people have sex sixteen times. That's what I was, like, whoa,
we have three kids. That's not happening. So anyways, back through the love languages, that's where I am so confused at myself, Like Justin is like Joe, he's Mr Romantic. And now what I have noticed, and my mom has had to train herself with her boyfriend is to accept the love right except the romance. Otherwise, we train our partners to to not be romantic, and then we start looking for it and we're like, wait, you're not being
romantic anymore? Why are you? Where is that? So I've actually had to reel back my like hard shell and and accept it and then try out to step outside of my comfort zone and send him flowers or like, you know, just write little cards and put them under his pillow, you know, like things that you think of people in their late teens do in the early teens. Whatever. I like that I didn't really have a boyfriend in my early teens. I think that's it's it's really all
about accepting, you know, like Joe has melted me. Everyone says it, everyone like sees it, and I usually I would be resistant to that. I'd be like, stop it, you know, like, but I've just given in because why not? Why fight it? And but I think it's just being a tough chick. You want to be a tough chicken, you don't, you know, it's a very common thing for anybody who's independent, fears and really successful. You don't show a lot of vulnerability because that's not what it took
to get you where you are. So I think that bleeds over into our relationships. What once you know, somebody means what they're saying and it's not bullshit. I think what irks me a lot about that is that it feels insincere many times, and when it is finally sincere, then you can be like Oh, like, I had a boyfriend this he he was a real asshole, and he would send me flowers like anytime we got into a fight, but I didn't. I hated that. It's like, don't send
me flowers. You say you're sorry and mean it. I'm not just like some chick on the side. We're together. So when flowers are coming from an act of love and it's just saying, oh, here, I'm demonstrating more and more love to you, then it's easier to receive. I think. I agree. Yeah, I always wondered if it was a learned behavior from my mom, But I like your explanation. But I'm sure has learned from your mom, because your mom is a tough cookie. Also, yeah, and yes, yes
she is. You're a gem. You're a gem, you are and Joe is such a sweetheart. The two of you together. I love it, and I know everybody's expressing it on social media, like, oh my god, you guys are so like it's so true though, it's so sweet. We were walking through the city last night and I mean a dozen people must have run up to us. They're like,
you don't understand. We love you together. We love you, and I'm like we're like, oh thanks, so like you don't understand, We're like we do, we understand we're together. But it's nice because women especially you know, like that are my age or like oh wait, if you melted and you found someone I was the ice green, then anybody can. You know, it can happen. And it also makes me believe in that for everyone. I believe everybody.
As long as you don't settle and you say like these are my standards, these are not moving regardless of whether I'm with anyone or not, then somebody will meet you right up there. And you know, standards with men the last few years have had to get lower and lower and lower. That's that's why it's so funny that I ended up with like, you know, a Filipino man, because I was just so out of gas with white guys. I was like, listen, I have no more juice left
for you guys. It's too much. You know, you're to a black man. I know, did you have a non negotiable list? Like this is my non negotiables and if if he doesn't have this, like I'm not even going to see him. No. I made a list once with Sarah Silverman and She and I and my sister actually all made lists because somebody had told me that they had made a list and they had met their person. That's what I did. You did before you met justin. Yeah,
it was important. I had just broken up with a guy, and then I realized that if I didn't make a list, I wasn't going to meet the person that I wanted to And then I also wanted to be single. And I got basically everything on that list. I don't remember the list because it was over twelve years ago, but I wish I still had that list. Oh yeah, now you probably wrote yours in your phone minds in my notes section on my phone. So my list everything I put skiing, and it's like you have to be a skier.
But I made it. It was a really long list, but it wasn't shallow at all, Like it was deep stuff like values, morals, la la la. You have to be willing to stick your neck out for people. Don't be an idiot, you know, the interest in traveling and the ability to make it happen and the desire to
make it happen. But the one thing I put on my list, said a man with a full head of hair that was that was the one, the one shallow thing that I vote, and so I fucking circle that and I was just like, I sent it to Joe. I'm like, that is so funny that I sent a full head of hair, Like I don't even think that that was important to me. And then obviously it's not, which is why we're making Joe a hairpiece. We're not. We're not. I would never I only date bald Filipino
men from now on. That's my that's I think. But he looks good, yeah, exactly, Well you'd have to. And he has some hair that grows in, but it's he just shaves it, which is exactly what I would want a man to do, you know, just once things start getting dicey, just shave it off. Yes, agreed. Okay, So Catherine, tell us what we have in store today. Actually, you know, we take callers some of our lives, some right in and then we just give them life advice. It's really good.
I think you guys are really good at this. By the way, Well we all try, right, yeah, right, Well, we have some extremely exciting cheating questions. We have two people from the Midwest calling in, Uh, some moms stuff dealing with friendship. Oh god, we have some weight loss stuff and some booty stuff, all kinds of questions. But we'll take a quick break and we'll come back with
some callers. Okay, sounds good, and we're back. Actually, let's talk a little bit about Nicks before we go in, because I know you have a partnership with Nicks and you're promoting your new lingerie line with them. Tell us a little bit about that. First of all your boxes in the mail. I cannot wait to shoot that lingerie. Oh baby, it's come please, I mean talk about rocking body and you are such goals your boobs. You don't even know the conversations I've had with my mom about
your boobs. Now you have no idea. Oh I love that. No, seriously, it's just like the perfect handful. Anyways, Nis and Ashley Graham. Yes, we just launched my collaboration. Nix is really an amazing company. They actually started with the period panti and it's like a leakproof panty and they turned it into the leggings and they've got amazing bras and underwear, but everything is supportive.
They go up to five X and they go down to an extra small, so we're very inclusive, but it really like I wanted to have something a little bit sexier because they're very performance and solution based, so this is their sexiest line yet, but also my most intimate line because this is one of the first times I came out after you know, shooting three kids out, first first lingerie campaign, embracing my stretch marks, embracing my postpartum body,
but also just excited to have something that feels sexy and cozy. You can wear it wherever. Yeah, I mean, you have done so much for women in promoting your body and accepting your body and loving your body, and it's inspiring to me to women everywhere. I mean, you really have opened the door for people to really be themselves and to embrace all their little shortcomings or anything that they think isn't deemed worthy by a man. Joe
once said to me. He said, we were in Hawaii and I was putting on a bathing student and said, how bad is my cellulate And He's like, honey, cellulite is what makes a woman a woman. The more cellulite, the merrier. I don't think he said the mayor here, but he said something like that, and then I, and I was like, honey, I didn't even know that was a sentence. I thought, I said, every woman needs to
hear that, because who doesn't have fucking cellulite. I mean, there are anomalies out there, but the stretch marks, the cellulite that the you know, we all fluctuate up and down, you know, and what we see isn't seen by the world. It's all like an inside job. So you really are I know you know that already, but I wanted to tell you that personally, because yeah, it's good to hear it now, especially living in my postpartum body and like
trying to get out of out of my head. Even today, I showed up and I wasn't supposed to wear these pants with this shirt, and I was running out the door and they're really baggy on me, and my my stretch marks are just hanging out today and that was not the plan. And I called my stilace and I said, meet me outside of Chelsea Handler immediately with new pants, and he said, babe, I'm not in town. And I did not realize that, so I just I just sucked it up, but I embraced it, and I'm just like,
here we go. And it's probably something neither of you even notice, but it's in the back of my head. And that's the whole thing with body confidence, with the body neutrality and just loving where you are in your life is it's in your head. It's not in the person's head that you're speaking to or that you're around. Yeah.
Something I've done more recently, and this is partly influenced by you, is when I'm looking through photos for approvals for some shoots, you know, or press photos, when they send me a selection, I don't even look anymore like to go and pick through them. I just let my publicists pick what they think the best one is. And I don't go nuts like over if I don't like a photo of myself and it's out there, it's like who cares? Who gives a ship? You know? So that's
important and I think that also comes with age. It must, I mean for me, it definitely has. I can only imagine, like walking into my forties, how much more confident I'm going to be. I'm kind of excited. I'm not one of those girls. It's like, Oh, I'm gonna be thirty five and I'm gonna I'm going into my forties, isn't it. I don't care. I'm so excited to to get older. Yeah.
I think that's the right attitude to have because I'm forty seven and I was like, I just keep thinking I'm gonna be fifty soon, and I'm like, I can't fucking wait to be fifty. How I feel about sixty is going to be a different story. But I'll get there. I'll get there when I need to get there. If I make it that long, then I'm going to be happy on the live last. Okay, so should we take a caller? Well, our first email, the subject line is we both cheated. It's from Maureen. She's a bartender in
her twenties. She says, Dear Chelsea, A couple of years ago, when I was twenty one, I was bartending at a big bar where I live as on brand as ever. I hooked up with my manager for a while. Later, I found out he was still dating his girlfriend, who had told me he'd broken up with. I did have my speculations, but I honestly wasn't serious about him and wasn't thinking about her enough to find out. I was selfish,
she found out. Fast forward to now they have a kid are engaged and he's almost two years sober, which I'm sure had something to do that. I'm happy for them. My problem is she goes to my gym. Now it's awkward and obvious. We both know who the other is, and sometimes I wonder if I should confront her and apologize for the whole thing. Complicating things, she started a blog and in one of her posts discusses his alcoholism
and their relationship story. I support the blog, but it's hard because I'm the undertone as the toxic person in the posts, while he's seen as the alcoholic boyfriend that was just quote going through so much. I'm willing to admit that sucked up. But what are your thoughts on the narrative that I'm the monster? Do I reach out? Her whole blog is based around kindness, and it doesn't make sense how she can give so much forgiveness and understanding toward him then paint me to be toxic and
horrible all in the same post. We both cheated in respect for her, I've often not gone to events I know she'll be at since we have mutual ends. I'm no angel and I've made lots of mistakes in my twenties, but I'm also willing to admit them, especially if they hurt someone. I finally want to stand up for myself. But then again, a part of me wonders if I'm being selfish and just want to defend myself. I can't be the only one out there that's felt this, Maureen,
do you want to go first, Ashley? I actually really want to know what you think. I've never cheated and I've never been cheated on. I don't think, yeah, I've been cheated on, and I don't think I've cheated, but maybe who knows. Um. First of all, no, don't do anything because it's all in your head, like you're you're having this whole narrative. You're letting her dictate how you
feel about yourself, and just let her go. Do her blog first all, stop reading her blog, you know, block yourself from that blog, and don't try to correct the situation, because that's ego, and that's any sort of defense is ego. Like, you don't need to be bigger than that. That was a long time ago. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were.
It doesn't matter that he was an alcoholic or was going through an alcoholic phase, or however she wants to frame it, and however she wants to frame your relationship. She's just trying to make herself feel better about that period of time, and there's nothing you can do to change her narrative. So the only thing you can do is demonstrate that you're also a different person and act like a bigger person, and then be a bigger person. I think sometimes when you start acting like a bigger person,
it naturally happens that you become that. You know, It's kind of like fake it till you make it. It works like that. So yeah, you don't want to go and correct the story. That's only going to result in more icky behavior. And I think it's good that you don't show up to parties that she's at, but that also shouldn't be your rule of thumb. She's irrelevant kind of to you. You've moved on. You both had a past and that's not the present. I think that I would just erase the blog, never go back on it.
She's she's tormenting herself. I don't even know how to read a blog, Like, how do you find blog is a blog? Or she like posting this blog? So I didn't know people still did that, right, I don't know. It's not on my Space geo cities. I mean, it definitely feels like this is my problem, and I'm twenty years old, because as you get older, as you mature, this is not going to become your problem, right. And also,
it's not her problem, it's his problem. If she really wanted to talk about it, she should go to him, not her. Yeah, she knew what she was doing was wrong, but like I kind of take umbrage with the phrasing of we both cheated because he's the one who cheated. She wasn't in a relationship. You know, she knew what she was doing, but the phrasing is a little funky
for me. And anytime you want to go correct a situation where you screwed up and so much time has elapsed, all you're doing is reminding people what you represented and during that time, instead of setting new impressions on those people, which it sounds like you have the opportunity. It sounds like she has the opportunity to do. Between the gym and mutual friends parties, it's like, just go in there and be your new self and so that they know that's not who you are anymore, and you don't have
to correct any of that narrative. I was talking to a friend the other day and it's like, oh, I should apologize about this thing that happened like three months ago. I'm like, don't bring it up again. No, but you know, you're just kind of doing the opposite of what your intention is. So yeah, zip it, get off her blog and then find out why she still has a blog exactly. Well. Our next question comes from Shannon, and she is calling
in from Iowa. She says, Dear Chelsea, and I'm a twenty five year old new mom to my daughter, Salem. I'm looking for advice on how to handle my friendships because not one of my friends have come to meet my baby. I'm stuck wondering whether or not it's my responsibility to schedule these meetings, or if my friends are being kind of shitty towards me by not making an effort to meet her. Salem is now five months old. I have a very small group of friends too, from
high school and three from college. They were all either in my wedding or in attendance, and they all attended the baby shower. One lives five hours away. Everyone else is a one to three hour drive. The two from high school come home every couple of months, sometimes more. All of these friendships are pick up where we left off types, but I regularly snapchat all of them and
send pictures of Salem. I sent everyone a message when she was maybe two months old, saying that I was sad none of my friends have met her yet, and I hope they get the chance to meet her soon, even if it's just for a quick lunch. Everyone responded, of course, and that they were so excited to meet her, and yet nothing has happened in the three months since. I told myself that that message would be the last time I would try to force meeting her on them, and if they chose to not try to see us,
then it's their loss. But I'm still sad that the people I consider my friends haven't shown up for me. I understand that we're in different phases of life, none of them having kids and only one being married, but I'm confused as to why I haven't had any support. Not everyone is excited about kids, but this is such an important part of me. My husband says I need to drop them, but I don't want to do that and be left with no friends. And I do care
about these people. I hate that this is negatively affecting my mental health during such a special time in my life. Lots of love, Shannon, Hi Shannon, Hello, Hi Shannon. This is our special guest, Ashley Graham. Today. You've got two of us, well, you've got three of us because Katherine Sarah, She's she's running the whole operation. Yeah, good morning everyone, Good morning. I'm so sorry to hear about that. Yeah, it's been kind of tough. I totally understand where you're
coming from. Sorry to jump in here, but this is exactly what happened to me just f y I. I had a very very very small friend group and the people who wanted to meet Isaac they came over and they met Isaac and they said when can I come? I'm coming. And the few people who didn't really reach out, they're just not a part of my life anymore. And it's really bizarre how these big life moments can cut out the weeds. And when I say the weeds, I mean the people who really aren't in it for you.
I will say I did have to put it on myself and say hey, hey, if you want to come over, like, here's your parameters. I would give everybody like two hour windows because when you have when you know you're a new mommy, you're exhausted, your baby is tired. People like to overstay, they're welcome. So I definitely gave people two our windows. But the few people that were excited to come over made an effort. Some people even flew in. It was some of the local people that didn't make
an effort. And I will also tell you I only speak to two people in my wedding and I had six bridesmaids, just to put in perspective for you, so that also happens. It sucks, and it feels so isolating. You feel like you have no one. You feel like they're it's kind of this place where how am I going to get out of this? Who else can I speak to? You will get out of it, You just have to stay strong. And I started journaling, like actually like pen to paper journaling instead of on the computer.
I mean, you're in such a transitional part of your life. I know when I lived in a different city than my friends, it was like when you're home and you have just a couple of days or a week it's really harder than you think to see everybody, you know. I mean, I think I would say, like giving them that specific time of like, you know what, why don't you come over on Tuesday, We'll have a little brunch,
come over for momosas or whatever. Giving them those specifics I think might make it a little more accessible for them to to take you up on the offer, rather than having it just be a broad invitation of like come over whenever. Yeah, And I think coming from somebody who doesn't have kids, whose friends have kids, like anyone who is meaningful to me, I would make the time. There definitely have been friends of mine that have a
baby and and it's all consuming, which it is. It's totally is, but it doesn't feel like there's gonna be any friend time. So I feel like everything we do is always going to be around the baby, right, which is totally reasonable. I mean, you're we said you your baby is five months old, right, so obviously that is
going to be all consuming. But I think for your friends that don't have babies that maybe can't relate to that, you can offer them up like, hey, I want to see you guys, regardless, I want you to meet the baby. We don't have to spend the whole day with the baby, but I want it's meaningful to me, as you guys are my close friends, for you to meet the baby, and then we can have a nice group lunch or do our own thing, you know, and you can have
the baby. If you have a babysitter, your husband can watch her for a couple of hours, so you guys can go to lunch and catch up. But you know, so that you can get both of those things in so that you still have your individuality within that group. And they're also paying you the respect of meeting your child, which is an important thing for you to have them do because it's important for you to have your own
individuality outside of mommy world. Two yeah, I think sometimes single women who aren't parents are sometimes overwhelmed by people when they have babies because of their inability to relate to that. So just keep that in the back of your mind and just try to like give them specific options. I when can we do this. Let's set up a time you guys can come over and meet the baby and then we can either have lunch at the house or we can go out do our mimosas whatever. You
and your girlfriends like to get up to. Yeah, I mean that sounds good. I have just been struggling with the fact that I have reached out and I have been like, please tell me when you're in town so we can try to schedule something, and then they never say anything that's specifically. Like my high school friends, my college friends, on the other hand, they don't have a reason to be here other than for me, And you know, they all say that they're so excited to meet her,
and then just nothing ever happened. So it's kind of a weird predicament that I'm in whether or not I need to be the one stepping out all the time, or if they need to take this on their backs too. I feel like, I mean, speaking from experience, it's going to be on you because you're the one with the gift, right your your child was a gift to this world, and you want to share your gift with the people that you love so much, and the people around you are going to be so excited, But they also don't
understand what you're going through. They don't understand the sleepless nights, they don't understand what you're going through with formula breastfeeding, whatever is going on in your relationship, and so they can't see that. So you really have to put yourself out there in a way that feels maybe uncomfortable for
you right now. But if you are so adamant about these college friends meeting your gorgeous little daughter, which I love her name by the way, um, yeah, that is truly going to be on you to show your gift to the people that you love so much. And then once that door is open, then you will see who really like wants to be a part of her life and still be a part of your new life, because your life is completely changed now and there are probably some people in your life or that were in your
life that you don't want in your life anymore. And this is just showing you everybody's cards. And I don't think you should be offended by it. I think that you're young and you're figuring it all out now and you should actually be grateful. Yeah. Yeah, definitely is going to be very eye opening to see who is wanting to stick around in our lives and who just really doesn't care anymore. And that's what my husband has been
saying to me. But I think it's just been kind of hard to come to grips with the fact that those people who have always been here for me so consistently just haven't made the effort. And that's just been hard to come to terms with big life events. Big life events weddings, kids, divorce, and funerals. That's where you figure out who your real friends are. Yeah, and you know, I like that you said that, actually, that you're not speaking to half of your bridal party anymore, because I
think that's that's so true. It's so true, and it's like, it's definitely true for me. I I have friendships that have ended throughout my entire life, and I always have new ones sprouting up, so there's always a revolving door
in my life. I have some very old friends, but a lot of my friendships, you know, our first short periods of time or ten years, and then we kind of drift off or something happens and we get into an argument or you know, who knows, And but I think you should just I know it hurts, but it's also the cycle of life, Like people come in and out for different reasons, and you should be open. Also as a new mother. I'm sure you're doing lots of
things that involve other new mothers. You know, you have the opportunity to meet new friends and make new relationships and cultivate those things, and there's going to be exciting relationships within those relationships as well, So you're holding onto kind of holding onto the past in a way, and you can definitely call them out and say like, hey, this is it. I really need you guys to step up, and then now's the time, and just be prepared for
some of them not to be able to do that. Yeah, I'm definitely prepared for my heart to be broken a little bit by those friendships. And I guess this is just kind of where we're at in life. I'm just in such a different place, I think than everybody else. And you know, they go out naval party and everything like that and take trips and enjoy, you know, not being tied down like this, and I'm at home and I'm really content doing that. I just wish, you know, I had a little more support. But I have a
great family system around me. My husband's parents are in town. My parents are really close by, so we do get a lot of time with them, and that's been really supportive over you know, these past five almost now six months. That's what you have to focus on. Yeah, be grateful for the things that you do have. So many people don't have their parents right when you're raising a child. You have two sets. I mean, that's really lucky. So focus on the positive. You know, you like your in laws, Wow,
that's really great. Yeah, No, they're they're an awesome support system for us. And my mom takes for multiple days a week, and you know, I couldn't ask for anything better. There really are the best. And also these phases they go away, like enjoy this phase and then the next phase.
You know, it's it's all about the phases. I'm That's what I keep telling myself at least, and always remember like whenever you're going through a difficult time, there's sunshine around the corner, Like you don't know how quickly things are going to turn and who's going to show up for you surprisingly or what new people are going to come into your life. No, like bad phase or feelings hurt last for that long. It's always just a little moment. It's ephemeral and it will move on and then something
else is just around the corner. Yeah, I definitely try to keep that in perspective. It's kind of hard right now, you know, losing all the people that I was so close too. But that's great advice, and I hope I can really remember that going forward. I wrote a farewell letter to my one friend. I didn't give it to her, but I wrote it to her, and it was heartbreaking.
It was actually on Thanksgiving before I gave birth to the twins, and it was really hard for me to write it, and it was like almost twenty year relationship. And I will say, like, it's it's important to write this out. It's important to get it out of your body because you're storing trauma right now. And it's not that big of a trauma, but it's trauma that's going to build. And that's not something you want to pass on to your kids because it's little now, but it's
going to be bigger later. So get it out of your body. That's a great that's great advice. Actually I'm going to take that because I have a friendship that ended, a long one and a close one, and I have so much I want to say. You get all this stuff stored up and you just keep recirculating in your brain,
and like, who wants that energy inside them. No, and also, you know, when you write an email, like I would suggest writing an email to all these girls you can see see them all, or do it individually and just put your heart on your sleeve and just be very honest without being necessarily needy in that you're more making Yeah, you're making a statement, not accusatory. But this is how this makes me feel. This is what happened. This is
I'm so disappointed. I really hope that you guys would have more interest or you know, stepped up to me my baby. But I understand if this is you're you're not in this place in your lives. I get that, but I think you should show them, you know, let them know that you're hurt. Most importantly, Yeah, I definitely don't want to make anybody feel like I'm being accusatory or super mean or anything like that, because I genuinely
am sad. And that's what I kind of told them a couple of months after she was born, is that I was just sad and I said it in a nice way, but maybe I didn't say it directly enough, and I might need to go out of my way to say it a little more direct to them. People cannot read your mind. I have learned that one. Yeah, and it's back to what Ashley said about putting yourself
in a kind of like uncomfortable zone. You know, just put yourself in a situation that may not be you, but you gotta stretch your legs a little to get your point across so that you can feel good about it ten years down the road or five years down the road. I mean, I think that's the key about getting older, is when you have these kind of confrontations or conflicts, to handle them with grace and dignity so that when you look back, you don't you're not mad
at yourself for acting childishly. Yeah, because I'm kind of mad at myself right now for not saying stuff sooner and not being direct enough. So yeah, I think the email and maybe reaching back out again and giving them more specifics is going to be helpful. You just tell them you talk to your therapist Chelsea and Ashley, and then maybe you'll get an email back. Yeah. I think that will be super helpful. It's basically like talking to Dr Phil and Oprah. Hello very much. Yeah, thank you, Shannon,
Thanks Sanna, get up with everything. Let us know how it goes okay, follow up. Yeah, thank you so much, guys, I appreciate it. Congratulations, Yeah, thank you, thank you. By bye. That must feel so solitary, like so lonely. Yeah, you feel isolated. It's a disgusting feeling. But at LEAs she has her husband, like she said, her family, like that's a big deal. But having that outside community also makes
a big difference. She just sounds like she needs to go out with some friends, she needs to join a mommy and me group or whatever the net without the kids. One night, just one right, right, right. So when you wrote that letter, you were you planning on just writing it for yourself or did you think maybe you're going to send it to your friend. So I'm worked with my midwives. I did home births and one of the biggest things in doing a home birth is trusting your body.
And my midwives actually make you go through this thing. It's therapy session called havening, and it's touch therapy where you bring up past traumas that you deal with in the moment before you walk into home birth. And this is this is for any part of your life, like
it does. It's not just surrounded by birth, but it's surrounded by traumas, and but you do it on the day you're going to give me, No, you do it beforehand so that your body is in full trust mode and that your baby, which epigenetics they can feel everything you're feeling, also is in full trust mode. So my twins were both head down and then one of them went head up breach and he kept flipping and they were like, are you going through something thing? And I'm like,
what do you mean going through something? And they were like, is everything okay at home? Like what's up with your family? And then justin kind of looked at me and he said my friend's name. And I was like, it's not that, and she looked at me and she said, so it's that. And I just started crying. And she said, these things happen, like big life decisions or changes in your life, like having a baby are going to move people in and
out of your life. And she said the only way to get around this and for you to have a successful, not not unsuccessful birth, but like an even easier birth, is to get this out. And and that's why I told her. I was like, you need this is like in you and it needs to come out. So that you're not passing this along. And that's what I did.
That's when I wrote the letter to her, and it was all on Thanksgiving and it was like surrounded by the holidays because we've always been the holidays together and I my intention at the time wasn't to send it to her, It was just to get it out. I've been thinking about maybe sending it because I want something like I want a door closed because it feels still feels really wide open, but I feel so good that it's out of my body. Yeah, I'm going to do that.
I have a similar situation, and I think I'm going to do that because yeah, anytime I think about it, it's just those thoughts that circulate, like how hurt I am about this, and how I can't believe that and that, and and it's like, God, I know better to to then to have those kinds of toxic thoughts circulating in your body, you're just doing damage everything you would say and all those little it's like high school thoughts, you know.
I can only compare it to that kind of like small small mindedness when we let those ideas corrode are kind of like being and it builds up in your body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, our next caller is Quinn, she says, Dr Quinn Medicine woman. Let's hope better be She says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently struggled with losing weight and all its implications. I've been overweight, or at least perceived to be overweight, most of my life.
Every time I begin my lifestyle changes and tried to be healthier, I always hit the roadblock of this question, should I be losing weight to try and love myself more in game confidence or focus more on loving my current body and let the lifestyle changes follow. Dating also plays a part in all of this. We're currently I haven't had much luck dating. I fear that if I lose weight, I will in the back of my head always think would they have dated me when I was overweight?
I know, no matter what, I need to be healthy and make these lifestyle changes, but I know that's not going to happen until my mindset is in the right place. Quinn. Hi, Quinn, Hi, how's it going good? How are you hi? Quinn? How are you good? Well? We have the Body Positivity Guru studio today, so I'm gonna let you take the lead on this I was just thinking, God, I've totally been in your shoes, and I've always wondered, God, if I lost weight, would he be with me because I lost
the weight? Or you know, it's like, should I get even bigger and then start dating and you know, just um, just out of spite for whoever I end up with. And then I realized, God, I'm really going at this the wrong way. I totally hear you, and I know how your brain is going a million miles a minute, and you go to sleep thinking about your weight, You wake up thinking about your weight. When you go out and you're eating, you think about your weight, You think
about your weight when you're getting dressed. I know that feeling, and the best thing for you to realize is that it's not going to go away until you face it head on. And there's so many different ways to face it head on where you can actually write out your affirmations that I have done and I have preached about a million times, you know, have them on your mirror, have them on notepads, have them recorded into your phone about how you feel and how you want to feel.
I always say, like, don't lie to yourself. Give yourself attainable goals in in your affirmations. But you know, this is something that's that's either going to plague you for the rest of your life or you can actually meet it where you are. And I had to do that. And I have to say even now, like I just popped out a few kids and I'm forty something pounds up and I think about that number and I don't
get on the scale because of it. I don't put on certain clothes because of it, because it's like this like looming thing in the back of my mind, like when is it going to go away? Will it ever come off on my body? Blah blah blah. You know
exactly what I'm talking about. But it's something that a You're doing a great job in coming here and talking about it, because this is going to feel really good when you get off of this call and be you just have to like start an action, like whatever that action is for you, whether it's the writing it down and actually seeing the words, or having the out loud conversations with yourself, or making sure that you know you're not changing who you are for somebody else. I think
that that's really important to remember. But by the way, like no matter what your body is your temple, so take care of it. Don't change it because of of somebody else's perception or even the perception of yourself. Yeah, and I think you know, your goal really is to be healthy and strong, right, Like, that's what we all want out of life. We want to be durable, we want to last a long time, and we want to
be healthy and strong. So taking those steps to get there is going to help you feel better about yourself because you know that you're actually, you know, eating clean food and healthy food and not bullshit. I read this quote from Barack Obama once how he was He He's like, I eat for fuel, not for you know, Like, and I was like, fuck you, you're a guy, you know,
not everybody's eating for fuel. I don't understand people. But but what But there's a variation of that where it's like, what, what are you putting into your body that's going to help you be strong and fit? And you know what, that doesn't mean being a certain weight. It means being healthy, minded about yourself and your appearance, knowing that you're taking care of yourself. You know, I didn't drink water for the longest time, so I just hated the flavor of
it because there is none. So I now have to doctor up my water with my little lemon packets every morning like a psychopath in order for me to drink a liter of water every day. But every day I'm like, every time I take a sip of the water, I'm like, you're helping yourself. You're you know, you're hydrating your body. You're hydrating your body. Like it's whatever your bad habits are. If you can flip those, the mental game that that plays gives you a lot of self esteem and a
lot of self respect. But that takes a lot of work, I will say, because I'm at a place where, like I am a rewarder. Food is a rewarder for me. I don't know about you guys, but like this is how I was raised, and so the plate has to be clean and and if I did like a good job for whatever that thing was that day or week, it's like what am I eating? So I hear you, but I'm still working on that because it's like, oh, fuel my body. Yes, I can feel my all day long.
I've got like a charcuderie board in the car waiting for me when I get out of here. However, However, it's like, am I going to treat myself to a handful of peanut eminem's later? Yeah? Probably. So it's all about balance. Everything is balanced, and it's a hard place to get to. Yeah, And you're not going to be perfect all the time. I'm not. I mean, I was just telling Joe in my hotel room this weekend. I went to go open a bag of potato chips and I couldn't even be like a normal person about it.
I had to bite it open and then the whole thing fucking exploded all over my room. And then I was like, oh, funk those, I'll go get a chocolate. They had this chocolate toffee bar and I did the same thing. I ripped it open. The whole thing crashed open on the bed, and I just looked like a revolting pig. And I'm like, well, see this is what you get for like eating in haste like that, you know, when you still eat it. No, No, I had to
clean it up. It was all over the place. I've eaten, thanks, listen, I'm eating things out of the Okay, let's not pretend that I haven't. I once had an egg McMuffin in my glove, come apartment overnight and ate it. So I'm not going to pretend I'm above that. But I think as long as you start to cultivate little healthy habits, they don't have to be a mandate for your life.
Little healthy habits, you know, like you're gonna end your day with this meal, or you're gonna start your day with this meal, and just think about nourishing yourself and giving your Like last night we were at sushi and the last thing I wanted with spinach. But I'm like, no, I want something green at every meal, Like I have
to do that for my health. You know, it's a good people have said instead of taking away, add to the plate, right, Yeah, when you eat all that stuff, you know, if you fill up on good stuff for your body, your body doesn't crave all the bad stuff
after a while. So you just have to just start cultivating healthier habits, and you know it will, it will get easier, and it will make it will do the thing for your mind that all the things that Ashley is talking about and work in conjunction with that, you know, giving yourself positive affirmations, reminding yourself that your body is here to carry you through so take care of it and treat it with respect, and also just get out there start dating, right. It doesn't matter what size you are.
There is somebody who will be like into you for who you are. If you're ready to start dating and you're feeling good with yourself, yeah, and then once you start sucking somebody that you like, and you're not going to have that much of an appetite. Okay. Anybody who falls in love knows that lose ten pounds right off the back because you're just like, all I want to do is have sex. Yeah, how much way did you lose?
Joe's lost thirty pounds, so he's the hot body in the relationship, and I just do I keep putting on weight. I'm like, but but back the funk up with your body, buddy. Then you start eating? Yeah yeah yeah, once you get happy, then you started eating. That's like, when can we eat again? I'm already thinking about food. You're talking about it. I'm like, what am I going to have? But anyway? You know what I mean? Yeah, I definitely start dating. That's gonna be fun. You want to go have fun with guys
or girls or who what whatever you're into? Yeah, I think I'm in listening to you guys stuff too. I've realized too that anyone that I want to be with, it's also just gonna agree with like the values I have and like my lifestyle, and like, I'm not going to choose someone who's like, no, you look bad or you know, I want you to get to this point. I obviously with just day one that's the red flag
and I wouldn't die with them day one. Yeah, I think, yeah, this very helpful and I will definitely start to do some of that. Are you on any dating apps, Quinn? Yeah, I'm on you know, like the typical three Bumble, Tinder and Hinge, and I go through waves. You know, it gets kind of boring going through the same questions over and over again, like oh, what do you do? How are you doing? You know, what have you been up to?
And I also get kind of loyal for where if I'm talking to someone, I'll just like, oh, I'll just keep talking to them, and then I'll fizzle out and then I'm like, oh, I just lost out on all these other matches or you know, no, you have to talk to like twenty people at the same time. This
is what I left my mom. Like four years ago, she finally started online dating, and she did a car ride from California to New York and she had her bumble on and went on dates throughout the country and met and ended up meeting the guy she's with now and they've been together for three years. And I have to say, like, you have to talk to everybody at the same time, because that's what everybody else is doing. I don't have any experience in this. This is all
watching my mother do this. That's a great idea for any woman. I could do a road trip across the country and just meet up with different guys. She was with her friends. Yeah, yeah, perfect. Well, thank you so much, Quinn. I appreciate having on. Thank you and congrats to actually on your twins and Chelsea. I saw you in December. I believe in Madison here, so it was a great show. Thanks for that. Thanks for coming, Quinn. I love that. Yeah, thank you, bye bye. Oh. Everyone just needs a little
confidence booster, right Madison, Wisconsin. I love it there. You're from Nebraska. Yes, yeah, that's another great place. I've performed in Omaha. I was just I was just in Birmingham, Alabama, and I was like, it was one of the best shows I've ever had. Another one was oh maaha, and the other one was Louisville, Kentucky. Places where you think you're gonna go and you're just like, oh God, this
isn't gonna be and every time it was awesome. Yeah, because there's those liberal pockets of people there that are dying for it, right. They need togetherness and progressiveness, and they're living in a state like those cities are all always like democratic and it's just the rest of the state that has issues. Anyway. Anyway, what's well? So? Our
last question comes from Travis. Travis says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty seven year old guy who got many of the Gay Jean's designed decor, theater, et cetera, but not the skincare Gauy jen. In short, I could give a shit about skincare. I use a moisturizer with SPF, but do nothing else for my face beyond an occasional splash of water in the shower. My skin is pretty normal,
nothing problematic except my behavior. I recently heard someone complimented on his beautiful skin and thought how nice it would be to receive such praise One day do you have any products or regimens you'd recommend to stop my uncared for face from falling off or bursting into flames or whatever else is eventually going to happen as I slide into my forties. Travis, Well, I'm gonna let you go to the skincare thing because you have I'm sure more tricks than I do. I was gonna say, don't you
have like skincare? Like, aren't you like into it? Your skin is always glowing? Oh well, thank you. But I would want to say to Travis, this is why you have everything to look forward to. I didn't start washing my face. I still don't wash my face, let's be honest. And I did my my sisters. I blame them and my mother for not teaching me how to wash my face. I didn't wash my face until I was in my thirties, and then I and then I just couldn't get into
the habit because I never had it. So if you start taking care of your skin now, Travis, you're going to see such a difference because you have so many layers of like a dermist that you have not exfoliated. So all you need is a good exfoliator to wash yourself at night and then put on a moisturizer. I use a serum and moisturizer in the morning and at night,
and that does the trick. I have to say. First of all, just go go get a facial like you're gonna feel a difference from like when you before you had it and then after. And then secondly, I am such a fan of this new line called fig one. I invested in it. I'm not a celebrity indorser. I invested because it actually works. We should send you something. By the way, It's scientifically proven to work on so many different skin types whatever your quote issue is. And um,
you can take an online test for free. Their dermatologistettle send me the whole regiment. But like they play nice in the medicine cabinet, so whatever you're already using, you just add this into the mix. But it sounds like he just needs like hyaluronic acid and maybe salonic acid. Good for everybody. I think it's not terrible for most people. Oh I thought it was. I thought some people don't
react well to that, but I could be misinformed. I mean I use it twice a week, and Justin uses one once a week, so that's two completely different skin types. Justin's skin tone is like uneven and he wants it to become more even. And then also being black on top of it makes it harder to figure out what products are right for him, and he's been using fig one. So anyways, Travis, I don't know what your actual skin type is, but it just sounds like he just needs
a little TLC. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Once you start a little bit, you're gonna notice, like if your skin is okay now and you start taking care of it, it's gonna be good, and then you're gonna get that glowy, dewey feeling. And also, if if you have dry skin, you can use a serum and a moisturizer. If you have oily skin, you shouldn't use a serum. You should just use a moisturizer and then get the hyaluronic acid from Big One. Hello. But also like props for using
the SPF. That's like the most important thing. Well, let's take a quick break and we'll be back to wrap up with Ashley and Chelsea, and we're back. Welcome back, girl. Well, Ashley, I wanted to ask if you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea, Chelsea parenting, Do you want some parenting advice for me? Okay, So my biggest thing right now
staying motivated in the gym. It's hard because I'm breastfeeding and I know you like to smoke weed, and like, I'm sure that doesn't get you motivated to go to the gym, So, like, what's that motivator for you? Because my crutch right now is breastfeeding? What just keeps you going? Because your abs? I mean, oh you're so sweet. I mean, I really do work out hard because I like to be strong, and it's I I like to be fit also and look lean, but I just love it's like addicting,
you know. Now, even I'm on the road, I hit the gym and I just do my own stuff with weights and stuff. And what I've realized so much about after forty is that, like cardio is not the thing that keeps you lean. It's weights, heavy, heavy weights. And I think my motivation is just seeing the results, Like I know it works. I used to think weights, We're gonna make me bulky, even when I was heavier and
not as muscular. I thought, oh, I'm just I have to lose the weight first, and then do the weights and it's like, no, I just started weight training and the fact kind of came off. So I know there's a lot of people think you have to do so much cardio, and it's like, don't kill yourself with cardio because it stresses your body out, especially when you're breastfeeding and you have like your cortisol levels. You want to keep them down not up, because that makes you hold
onto your weight. And the other thing that I think motivates me is I can do things that a lot of people that I know who work out a lot can't do. So when I keep getting stronger like that, I'm just like, oh, I'm plus, I'm older, Like I'm the strongest I've ever been at forty seven I was, I'm stronger than I was when I was thirty five, So like, you know, I can kick ass and I fucking like that. You know, That's it's like a part
of me now. The results, Like once you get yeah, you know, like you just feel like, yeah, it feels good. Have you done plates? Are you into that? Yeah, I've done a lot of pilates. Yeah, there's a class in l A that I love FORMA. Have you tried it yet? No, you'll have to go also into you Okay, yeah, yeah, but I guess that's my motivator. I just like I like to feel, yeah, the results, and I like to feel like a badass when I get in there and I go, no matter what, it doesn't matter what shape
I'm in. That's how I was before babies, and I think, I think I'll get back there. But it's nice to hear it again. Yeah. You know, once you start seeing results, like you're saying you're up forty pounds, I would not have known that. But if you're you know, once you start getting closer to what you want, you're like, oh, then you get really on the train. But I mean you have little babies, so it's a different situation right now.
Life is different. Yeah, So there you go. That's my Those are my two cents and you can suck on that pipe. Okay, Well, all of our callers and writers in please keep in touch with us because we love follow ups. We love of progress reports and follow ups. I didn't pay attention in school, so that's why I feel like I like a curriculum and a structure. Now with this podcast, I like reportings after the fact, after we've talked to you. I want to find out what happened.
And we've had so many positive outcomes come out of this. It's just like we're freeing the whole world. Yeah, thank you for Asty Braham. We love you so much. I love you, I adore you. I'm so glad we got to see each other. Me too, Yeah, I love in person. I know. I'm so thankful to see you too. Yeah, come out to Jesse. I will. I definitely will. I'm performing in Montclair next week. I have two shows in Montclair.
I'll be in Jersey. Fantastic. Bye bye. So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.