Minisode: Couples Counseling with Jenny Mollen + Jason Biggs

You're listening to a new segment of Dear Chelsea.

Call it Couple's Counseling with Chelsea, where we do couple's counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families. I'm here with my friends Jenny Mullen and Jason Biggs, and we are going to do.

Some couples counseling.

Welcome to my office, Welcome to Chelsea's Couple's Counseling.

Or where's the beef? Where's your beef with Chelsea? Where's Chelsea's beef with you?

I don't know what we're calling the segment yet, but these are many episodes, and I'm very delighted to say with two of my very old friends, Jason Biggs and his wife Jenny, which name are we using these days?

Mullin Biggs Handler.

Okay, Jenny and Jason if you're familiar with them online. Jenny is one hot mess and she loves loves to get into it with her husband, who also really loves to get into it with his wife.

I mean, you guys, are I would call you codependent fighters? A real couple therapists would say that too.

Yep, that you're codependent, very and does that have anything to do with your disagreements?

Yes, okay, let's start with one.

This is one that I actually I was As I was reading this, I thought, wow, this sounds a lot like me. So maybe I should be love making to Jason every night. Jason, you sleep with a lot of pillows, right, and you use pillows between your legs like you're like a pregnant woman.

I do, yeah, and you And how many pillows does that leave you with? Jenny? A single pillow? Okay, and how many pillows are in the bed total?

Well, twenty six. I can actually count this up for real and give you a real answer here. So I have three pillows that are propped up that my legs go on like that.

It's because are you do you have a back issue.

Or any these lower backs? So this kind of gets me in a nice position, you know, like in the.

Movies the eighties where somebody's like in a full body cast and.

Yeah, in the hospital. Tell you what if, Jason, if I could mount a like a wire from the ceiling, like a gurney type situation to put my strap my feet into.

To alleviate the lower back, I would need to be.

Up to here's the other. Yes, exactly, So I have those taking care of my legs, my lower back. I also have shoulder issues, so so on either side of my arms, I have both arms.

Do you have shoulder issues for eating so much pussy?

It's that's my doctor says, that's one reason of many. Also sucking a lot of dicky.

So how's that? How does that work on your shoulders? Because on your face dick today?

But I have so two arm pillows and then I've got two pillows.

Behind, like an airplane pillow.

Like no, but I've I've I've used an airplane pillow in bed before sometimes, but ultimately I abandoned that idea. I just go with two. But like I have, one of the pillows is like kind of a soft down.

To those penis, like one of those airplanes.

Props, dick, like a cockering cockering, and the and the second pillow is a temper pedic pillow. It's a whole situation.

This sounds a lot like my situation.

It's yeah, and that's the only him.

Well, well, how do you have sex?

Me?

No, I don't. That's the thing. It's like a chastity wall. So how do you if you are in the mood. Are you in the mood?

Well, I don't have sex with him at night. Oh, there's no way in it's a fortress.

Because well but hold on, you're gonna put it. You're gonna point fingers at the pillows. For the reason that we're not having night sex, it's also the fact night sex. It's also the fact that night sweats and night sex. It's the fact that you fall asleep at seven pm, like after the kids got like or eight pm when the kids die first.

All, I also love that bad time for myself.

Well, by the way, me too, I'm not mad at this. Just don't put false don't make false accusations as to why we're not having night sex. We are both in agreement that after any.

Person who wanted to have sex with you have sex with you when you're in that contraption.

Well you could, if you, Jenny in his defense, if you really wanted to get after that body, you would make your way through those pillows.

Yeah, if you guys had just started dating and he was pulling that kind of janery, you would figure out a way around it. You would get in there and be like, I want to wake you up with another blow job love my life.

You're right, soul made interesting fact. Jenny puts me to sleep with her blow jobs.

That's how I love him to sleep.

Yes, nice before a climax, before you even climax.

Just everything falls asleep. She just puts her lips around my penis. I fall asleep first, then my penis falls asleep, and then I don't know. I wake up and Jenny's there somewhere underneath the pillow, sleeping, sleeping. Uh no, I it's a conversation that could happen. You're wearing the next pillow.

Let's work on a plane, Jason, when you need all of these accouterments.

Yeah, it's a whole situation.

What do you do on a plane? Do you travel with a pillow?

I will often do the neck pillow, even if I'm flying flat. Neck pillow helps, But you know, I generally ask for an extra pillow or I'm using a jacket. I mean, it's a thing.

And did this start like what age? When you started?

It was definitely when I introduced the pregnancy pillow Chang's Life.

Oh that was I want one of those. I want one of those.

The pregnancy pillow was incredible because it's interesting. So I start my night with arms propped up, legs propped.

Up, like a paralyzed person or someone who's recovering from a massive injury.

A massive whole body cast a motorcycle accident. Yes, in an eighties movie, in an eighties comedy, in an eighties comedy.

Everything, do you have a straight jacket at the house?

Only my eyes are showing and a hole for my penis so she can put me to bed. But eventually, at some point in the night I want to sleep on my side. It's very strange.

I understand this. I'm just about to ask you what happened.

So at some point in the night, and by the way, this is when I'm in that position, I'm above there's no nothing covering me, So I have the air on as low as I can get it, because she's wants it on one hundred degrees and I want it on fifty degrees, and so we try to compromise. But generally that involves me being very hot at night and having to sleep above the covers. At around above ground it's an above ground pool, and Jenny's swimming in the deep

It's just amazing that you're not Jewish. You know what I mean?

It is amazing, Okay, Because so when I'm skiing, I always have back pain when I ski.

So when I'm skiing, I sleep.

With my legs up on a pillow because I always want my knee to like de swell from the night.

And then when I turn over, it's the same thing.

And what I really I put the pillows in between my legs and I turn over and I have one leg up. But what I realized was when you're on your side like that. That's not helpful for your back. That can irritate your back even more so I stop doing that now. I only have pillows only when I'm on my back.

When I turn over it's flat.

Yeah, but so your knees are hitting.

Well, No, I put one knee like I do, like a.

Little like at this, like a this.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Yeah, especially a hot position.

No, I think it could be a hot position for you as well.

Yeah, I mean maybe. Yeah. It's not going to change our sex life, but it could be fun to just do it. But you don't know.

I mean, if you guys. What's curious to me is.

If you guys aren't having sex at night, when are you having sex?

And you're saying sex for us generally needs to be a conversation and a plan. It's generally not spontaneous. Occasionally it is what about where the kids go to see And it usually takes a few days of talking about it for it to happen. By the way, it's not like it's not like, hey, babe, should we you know, what are you doing in an hour? Are you freeing that? It's like who wha? It is not like we need to do it on plan for it on Friday's out

The worst is when like will have sex and then he's like, I need a poop, and I'm like, you were holding poop in the whole time you're having sex.

Just maybe if he's gonna stick your thumb up my asshole while we were having sex, you know that?

You know that makes sure? Bathroom.

I don't know if anyone here is done anal, but if you have, you understand that you get diarrhea for about three days afterward.

I heard that from a very close friend. Really wait, I never get diarrhea.

I mean, yeah, it's better than a you have it, it's better than a collect Maybe.

You're doing.

My friend, ask your friends.

Who are you having anal sex with?

I mean, when I've had anal sucks.

Okay, so there's no hand holding in bed, there's nothing like that. You guys are both going to your separate camps essentially every night when you go to bed, right, And.

Do you ever go to bed angry?

Yes?

Yeah, yeah, more than you go to be like with the ratio of like when you're having an issue, do you normally resolve it or do you go to bed angry? Like?

Which which one is? We will go to.

Bed sometimes like exhausted by each other.

Do you ever sleep in separate rooms? No?

No, you like, well, I mean if I fall asleep in Sid's bed or something like that, But I don't think.

We're ever like I'm going to another she sleeps.

With and she sleeps with.

Listen, I had a friend, I have a friend. She'll go She'll remain nameless. Who slept with her daughter and her husband in their bed. They had their daughter until she was sixteen years old, and they're divorced.

So that doesn't insane at all.

They did not have sex for twelve years a couple that was staying together, that was married, Yes, tell.

See, but again this hold on. I just go back to the sex part of this because nighttime, I like, I hear that and I don't go, well, their sex life is ruined because maybe it's because we don't have nine to fives, it's different, but like.

We'll like it'll be like it's more often like it's daylight where like in the in the in the afternoon, yea.

In the afternoon, you know, she's home, I'm home, Yeah, and nanny took the kids somewhere and it's like, hey, you know, and it finally aligned. Yeah, I don't have to shop and she's not doing something, and then we'll like do it. We're just like worked over.

Yeah, And by the time, yeah, I understand because when you know, I'm always in the beginning of relationships now, like so it's always sex because I don't see them very often, so when I see them, it's not stop sex.

And I want to night time. I want to fuck it out that way, you know what I mean.

I don't want it to get to a point where I'm like, not tonight, I'm too tired. I want to be like it's to be a sexathon and then you leave and I don't see you.

For two to two weeks to two months.

You know, when you've been in relationships, like do you guys ever, Like does the sex ever migrate towards the day?

Absolutely? Day, night, sex on morning, all time. They're there to fuck me, Like that's what we're doing.

The priority is sex for us. It's a bonus.

Yeah, well you have a family.

It's just like yeah, okay, well too many balls in the air, not enough balls in her mouth?

Okay, Well, thank you for sharing your intimacy with us and our listeners.

You're welcome. That turned everybody on. Yes, okay.

So you can check out Jenny mull and substack The Best Friend Experience.

And her new side hustle The Shirts Off My Back, where you can buy fabulous vintage clothes.

And you can also check out Jenny and Jason and co hosting Dinner in a Movie on TBS, premiering tomorrow June first,