Minisode: A One-Two Punch with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét - podcast episode cover

Minisode: A One-Two Punch with Sam Jay and Yanise Monét

Jul 12, 202413 minSeason 5Ep. 14
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Episode description

In this minisode, Chelsea is joined by Yaya and Sam to chat about getting a double-doozy in bed, dry spells, and the appropriate length of time for foreplay. 

 

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [email protected]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice.  

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here with my friends, yah Yah and Sam. Okay, we're back with Sam and yah Ya.

Speaker 2

Hi girls, Hey, hi ladies. What's up?

Speaker 3

Oh?

Speaker 2

You know what?

Speaker 1

Somebody was talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There was some rumor that I was going to be on it. It's not true. But didn't you say that you auditioned for that or they.

Speaker 4

Did an audition They contacted me about it for Atlanta?

Speaker 2

Oh yeah they did, right, Yeah, that's what I told someone.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I didn't have to audition girls.

Speaker 2

Okay, guys, I didn't know you got a dog.

Speaker 1

No, I'm not allowed to get a dog because Sam won't let you get a dog because we're not doing the dog because you're not going to follow.

Speaker 3

We're no, we're not talking about the dog. We just we just were dollar today.

Speaker 5

But I copy of that. But no, it's fine, we're just not going to get the dog.

Speaker 1

Yoh okay, great, that sounded like a good therapy session.

Speaker 4

It went great.

Speaker 1

That's that must be your other therapist, because yes, is not this one is not as good.

Speaker 2

So what are some of the things.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, you go First, that's annoy the shit out of you about living with Sam.

Speaker 5

Oh, where do I start cabinets? She doesn't close cabinets or door like. She doesn't she opens a cabinet or a drawer, she leaves it open. So like when I go into the kitchen, I feel like, what's her name, Bana.

Speaker 4

Whit who's the one that turns the bana white?

Speaker 5

Yeah, I feel like banda white because I'm constantly closing all the cabinets and all.

Speaker 4

The doors because she leaves including the refrigerator.

Speaker 1

That's really that's kind of entitled Sam to open the doors and leave them open.

Speaker 3

It's not true. It's just not true.

Speaker 6

But I'll also be doing stuff in and out the fridge. You'll come in while I'm in the kitchen and close the frigerator.

Speaker 3

Okay, but what about the can But I'm like using the fridge.

Speaker 6

I'm not, I'm not not, I'm not not in the midst Okay, but what about the cabinet.

Speaker 1

Fridge is Actually in her defense, I changed tact. They should just be open all the time. The display should be out so we don't have to fucking open them, and look, it should.

Speaker 2

Be see through.

Speaker 4

But then I also be cold.

Speaker 1

No, it should be a glad so you could just see that's in there. Because sometimes I want to open the fridge and just fucking sit there and look at it too, Especially when I'm stoned. I circle around the fridge like four or five times a day, waiting for some meal to just create itself.

Speaker 3

Yeah, and then the cabinets.

Speaker 6

Sometimes I forget the cabinets, but a lot of times I'll still be in the middle of stuff and you just come in and start.

Speaker 4

Oh, that's not true.

Speaker 5

You'll be on the whole another floor and all the cabinets will be open. I have Yeah, I have video proof.

Speaker 2

Why do you have video because.

Speaker 5

Yeah, because I don't know if we have a group chat and so we all have the same plight.

Speaker 6

So it was like, oh, well, Lona don't got no man. So well she did see you're digging again.

Speaker 5

She did have a man, and he did do stuff like that, so talk about but she did. So we were like my sister be like, oh her husband left the cabinet opening day. I'm like, oh, well that's nothing. I had three cabinets today. So it's like that.

Speaker 1

So and that's you guys, and then you you film it and send it to each other.

Speaker 5

Yeah, or take a picture that seems reasonable. I guess it's like our own little group chat, our funny. It's our way of like dealing.

Speaker 1

With complaining about your husband's basically, basically, but in a nice way. Right, that's not the worst thing in the world. It's not like a man leaving a toilet seat up and like you're in all over the floor, urine all over the toilet seat.

Speaker 2

Yeah. I leave my car door open a lot when I get home.

Speaker 1

I get out because I always have shit or my dog and I and then I'll see my driveway and my car's wide.

Speaker 2

Open, like the door.

Speaker 4

Are you serious?

Speaker 2

Yeah, but I I have a gated driveway.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

But they're doing a lot of Robbie out there now. Yeah.

Speaker 2

Well maybe I'm just taunting them.

Speaker 4

Yeah, get it. Is that your way of trying to find a man? Do you know that guy?

Speaker 1

Remember you try the show? We were in my worka and yeah, yeah, I was like, you know, who's cute this guy gave? So I was dming him a little bit in my Orca one summer. But he had a girlfriend. Guess who doesn't have a girlfriend anymore?

Speaker 3

By the way, didn't have a girlfriend.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but those deals I know, but I don't have the closer I see now that I see he's single, I've taken a closer look, and there's a beard situation on the face that looks slightly painted, almost like dyed ink, you know, like when he.

Speaker 4

Has a beijing is? What is it called beijing? A beijing has a beijing.

Speaker 3

Saying I don't know. That's what she's saying.

Speaker 5

Do you know what a beijing is?

Speaker 4

That's like they use the dye and the dye is called beijing.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that that looks like that.

Speaker 3

Yeah. I don't do white men use beijing is.

Speaker 4

I don't think for the white I don't think he's white though he's other.

Speaker 2

I've been getting a lot of sex, So don't worry. I'm fine.

Speaker 3

I'm happy for you.

Speaker 4

I did see that picture of the feet on the back. That was nice. I was happy for you.

Speaker 2

Oh the one I sent you right, that was nice. I post that.

Speaker 4

I was excited for you.

Speaker 1

Okay, and Sam, let's talk about what you think is the most the thing that annoys you the most about Yeah.

Speaker 6

Yeah, she's constantly moving my things and putting them with sheet things they go. But not where it is logical for me, I'm cleaning. Yeah, but you clean like you're the only person who lives in the house.

Speaker 4

No, I just clean like a person who cleans.

Speaker 6

No, because your stuff could be out. You could leave stuff out all over the house. You leave food, how you leave stuff in the office all the time, open bowls or soop.

Speaker 3

You'll leave anything.

Speaker 6

And you will move my socks and leave three cans of soda and a bunch of open food. So well, you know a little you do dream ginger real, so you count that ginger. You know, you'll have your three cans out, the food you had last night, some rappers from some candy you ate, and then you'll be like, these socks, how is my thing like so annoying? But you can have everything everywhere?

Speaker 4

Hey, I can't. I can't I help that.

Speaker 3

So yeah, so then it's like, yeah, that's what I don't like.

Speaker 1

Okay, So that's those are two minor things. That's not big deal obviously, you guys like that. That's not going to be anything that breaks a company. No, no, no. And I would also say that I would guess that you have a very high sex drive yah ya, and that Sam would have is it hard for you to keep up with her sex drive because she seems very horny?

Speaker 5

What why do you feel like I see warny. I'm just curious to where where you got this from.

Speaker 1

Well, well, first of all, I think I heard you have sex. I heard about it. I heard about it, so and I know and I know what. I forget what you said, give it gigimy. They were fucking on my terrace in my orcame again. I would say, it's about your personality. You have a very flirtatious vibe about you, and that's a good thing. I think that's good. I wish I were more feminine. It's not something to be ashamed of. It's just you guys have very different vibes.

Speaker 4

What Sam vibe? Do Sam not give off sexual energy?

Speaker 1

Vibes? I wouldn't say it's sexual energy, No, not at all, Damn Sam. What you mean Sam gives off? I mean to you, she does. But you know, like you guys have a thing.

Speaker 3

No, No, what do I give off?

Speaker 2

That's what You're not flirting with me?

Speaker 1

So I wouldn't know what those vibes are. And Yo, you're not walking around swinging. Maybe you are swinging your dick around. That's a description of it.

Speaker 4

But I might accurate.

Speaker 3

Or what what do you think I don't?

Speaker 4

I think I don't think I have a high sex drive. Do you think I do?

Speaker 3

I mean.

Speaker 6

I think you you're a horny I think we approach sex different.

Speaker 4

Okay, that is true.

Speaker 3

I think your approach is sex is like, come on, put it in, do it.

Speaker 2

We want to get penetrated. I want something in you right away.

Speaker 6

Well not necessary, And my like approach is like a build, a slow build. I'm not I'm not rushed. I'm not rushed. You're rushed.

Speaker 5

I'm not rush. You're just more of a like a baby, and I'm like, all right, come on.

Speaker 4

Let's get to it.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 1

I used to be like that with sex, like I just wanted to as soon as you get turned on, you just want something inside you. You're like, let's go, and then you miss all the foreplay though, And now I'm like what Sam is describing because now I understand that it's more to fool around for me anyway, I like to fool around for a while.

Speaker 4

What's a while for you?

Speaker 2

Like a few minutes, like not more than ten minutes?

Speaker 4

Okay, Sam needs more than ten minutes.

Speaker 5

Are you.

Speaker 6

Don't, Yes, you do ten minutes of fooling around.

Speaker 5

Yes, it's like warming up a car. You have you need time. You'll be like, no, not yet, you need time. You like to make out and do all of that stuff you like to do. You co play for what are you considering eating pussy for play?

Speaker 2

No?

Speaker 3

Okay, it goes because we're lesbians.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Wait, eating pussy's not for.

Speaker 3

A play, I mean ends game.

Speaker 2

Okay, yeah, for straight people, it is for a play.

Speaker 4

Oh no, no, no, that's sex for us.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, but that's why you have to get the strap on, because that's not You need penetration.

Speaker 2

I need it, but don't you want it right after you come from that all the time all the time?

Speaker 3

Oh? I like that.

Speaker 2

I like a one two punch, I.

Speaker 3

Mean some fingers.

Speaker 5

It doesn't always have sometimes some time, but not all the time. Sometimes I can do the one two punch, but not all the time. I don't need it all the time.

Speaker 3

Okay, well, well, so yeah, I'm not kissing you for ten minutes.

Speaker 5

No, I'm not saying kids, But it's like caressing and talking and all the other stuff.

Speaker 2

You like to swoon.

Speaker 1

You like to she's like Harry Belafonte, Yeah, all right, boy, you don't feel like that.

Speaker 3

No, I don't feel like that.

Speaker 4

What do you feel like?

Speaker 6

If we're and I think what it is is like y'all wake up and you'll be like do it to me, and I'll be like that, ain't that ain't how to get this done?

Speaker 3

If you really we're really gonna talk about this.

Speaker 6

Okay, you're not smooth. You're not going to put all this on me. And you know you're not smooth. You are real weird doork when it comes to say I think I'm smooth.

Speaker 3

No, you're not smooth.

Speaker 4

I think I'm smooth. I'm sexy.

Speaker 6

You're not smooth, and you're not you don't know how to do it. I'm not gonna say you're not sexy because I find you you sexy, but when you start doing your moves, your moves ain't sexy.

Speaker 4

Okay, so that may be true.

Speaker 6

So you're so you'll be like rah, literally you will do that.

Speaker 5

Yeah, you will do that, And let you know what that time and time it is like a cartoon.

Speaker 2

If it's nine ten or fucking nine.

Speaker 6

Eleven, like a cartoon, like and I'm just like all right, Like, that's not getting it going. So then I got to take over and like do what I gotta do to get us where we need to go, because you're just gonna be like hi and do like and stuff like, yes, you do be doing stuff like that, and you'll be doing stuff like that, Okay, I.

Speaker 4

Mean I try.

Speaker 3

I don't know.

Speaker 4

I've never had to work hard, so maybe that's what it is.

Speaker 3

That's probably why it's coming off. So goofy.

Speaker 1

Well, you have some good chemistry going. Obviously, you have a good sex life. You have a healthy sex life. I don't think you guys would either tolerate either of you would tolerate being in a relationship where you didn't have a healthy sex life.

Speaker 6

I mean, well, I wouldn't say that we haven't been fucking for a while, but I think that that's just happens when you're with someone for a long as time.

Speaker 4

Gonna be like for a wow, like it's been eighty years.

Speaker 3

No.

Speaker 6

I mean, I'm just saying, like I think everybody I know who's been in a very long ter, you go through droughts. We were just like yeah, but when we back at it, when we're at it.

Speaker 2

So what's a long time for you guys to go for not having.

Speaker 4

Sex a few months, like months, yeah.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, that is a decent amount of time.

Speaker 6

Yeah, I think too much, cap Yeah, but it's also like she's on the road, she's busy, or what happened with you going on the road with her?

Speaker 2

You just gonna do it all the time?

Speaker 5

No, I've just been saying home more to give her more of her space to grow as an artist independently, because that's.

Speaker 2

How she getting in fights with the audience members.

Speaker 5

Yet that yep, now, just giving her space to you know, well you can explain.

Speaker 3

What you Oh, no, go ahead, big mama, you got it, Okay.

Speaker 4

Well, she's just developing new stuff.

Speaker 5

So she's just trying to get back to the roots of when she first fell in love with comedy and when she was first on the scene and getting back to the roots of grinding and like not.

Speaker 4

Staying at the best places and doing all of that.

Speaker 5

And when I'm on the road with her, she feels like she has so common it means stay at the best way, you know what I'm saying up to totally, that's.

Speaker 2

Exactly how I feel. What I take anybody.

Speaker 4

Yeah, so she wants to just get back to the roots of it.

Speaker 5

So I've just been staying home more and get in the house, you know, doing my own thing and letting her get back to the roots of being a comic.

Speaker 1

Okay, well, this is a perfect cutoff point to end this episode. More on sex with Yaya and Sam when we return. You can check out Sam Jay who is on tour now in cities all over the country and she's fucking funny.

Speaker 2

If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on her own.

Speaker 1

Special, then go watch both of those her specials on HBO Max now known as Max. And then you can follow Yaya at Vanity dot Vixen on Instagram and TikTok and it is worth the follow because she's up to some well shenanigans. I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

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