Hello, Hello guys, Hello everybody. Hi, Oh God, what to cover? What to cover? This is week three of my no smoking pot with my boyfriend Shane, And now I don't really don't even care about ever smoking a joint again, quite frankly, Like now, I'm just like, what was that? Are you partaking in any other sort of drugs? Are you taking your chocolate mushrooms? Just no, I haven't had the chocolate mushrooms in a while. I thought I would
take a break. I've been writing a lot, so I've had to be sober for that, because I'm writing a lot of my stand up which I started, so you know, I've had to focus on that. So, yeah, it's a good time. It's a good time for me to take a break. And if Shane had not come into my life in the moment he did, God, where would I be now? I would be lost without him. Well, I wonder if he feels the same. I wonder if he's
just elevated right now. It's on a different plane, cognitively, very aware of his surroundings and what he needs to be taking on the job site. Yeah, I feel like when you have a connection like that, it can't just be one way. It's got to be a two way connection. Although we did speak to somebody who had no connection with somebody and didn't understand that it was broken, so I could also be playing that role in this scenario. Anyhow, what else is New Brandon? What do you have to
say for yourself? Not much. You're going on trips, you have stand up dates that you're doing all through the fall, now, stand up dates, looking for a house, trying to plan vacations. But you know now that things feel like they're opening up again and people are vaccinated and getting out, you
see people without a mask, and it's very jarring. I just did this podcast with these two girls and they were saying that it's so different here than in New York, Like New York has wrapped COVID up so much more than we have here that they're not used to wearing masks walking out to outdoor restaurants and stuff. And they were saying it was so strange. They're like, oh, New
York has been over it for so long. But I did a podcast where they asked me lots of really personal sexual questions, and I just thought, who talks about that stuff? You know? I don't love talking about personal sexual proclivities or people like what are you into? What kind of games and role playing that makes my vagina
clench tight it shuts. Yeah, I get that, And I think that that's like a societal change that people are really adamant, Like there's so much body empowerment that it's like all about masturbation and yes, I watch porn, and yes I finger bloss myself and yes, and it's almost like, oh, I know the number of vibrators that your sent is really STANDI in the mail like every other it looks like you're an addict. It looks like you have a problem.
My brother sent me this Texas morning, my brother Glenn, and he was like, hey, my friend sent you one of these water bottles and I need you to post it on Instagram. His son is starting a business. I was like, do you know how much fucking ship I get every single day? Like, give me a minute. And I went to go look for the bottle and I found two dildos while I was looking for this water bottle that my brother wants me to post about. So if you're my brother, or if you're this person with
a company, hold your fucking horses. I'll do it. When I find it. And if your person selling a vibrator, she's got enough. Yes, please no more vibrators for me, Okay, I've lost them all. I'm reading this book called Set Boundaries, Find Piece, a Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. I mean, I'm not really reading it. I'm skimming through it. I'm going to read it, but I just came upon this. Here's a reminder for adults who experienced emotional neglect in childhood. It was never your job to be the man of
the house. That applies to you. To be a confidant for your parents also applies to you. Neither of those apply to me. To take care of your siblings, that applies to both of us. Well not when I was growing up, though I didn't have to take care of them, They took care of me to learn things without parental guidance. Definitely for me, I mean that's why. Yeah, no one ever said a thing to me about sex. You were like Matilda, you were on your own. No one said anything.
All I did was know that my parents were having sex and that I wanted to start having sex. Also to keep the peace within a chaotic home. Does that apply to you a little bit? Yeah? That doesn't apply to me. I was the chaos to figure things out without emotional support. Yep, that applies to me. That applies to you. And to be responsible for bills when you were a kid, Oh god, that's so luckily. My mom worked like three jobs at a time to take care of us, but we were always concerned about the bills.
Like that is something I don't wish on any child to have that sort of awareness of what's going on. I do think it probably helped me have appreciation for money and things now. But yeah, I was annoyed by my parents lack of savings account and like acumen towards like future plans, Like they had no business acumen or financial acumen about like, oh, eventually these children are going to have to grow up and go to college. Luckily
I didn't have to because I didn't apply anywhere. I like to think of you asking your parents about their business investments. As a little child, I remember being like, do I have a dowry? I was like three, And I mean maybe I wasn't three, because I knew what a dowry was, so I must have been like six, And I said, and my dad goes, can you believe the hutzpah. He always used to say that I had so much hot spies, like can you believe the hutzpah?
And this girl? He would say to my mother like I wasn't in the room, and she'd be like, she's it's a good question. Scene more, where is the money? And he'd be like, please, are you convolt we don't have any. Don't worry about it. But yeah, I was always questioning because I started a babysitting ring on Martha's Vineyard when I was like twelve, you know, when I was babysitting for older children sometimes because I lied and said I was fifteen, but I was. I was twelve
and I was babysitting for our fourteen year old boy. Once, I think we talked about this and I would come home and I would count my money because I made so much money. And yeah, I called all the hotels and Martha's Vineyard and my babysat and I made thousands of dollars that summer, and I had a little cigar box and my dad would come up and be like, I see you counting your money. I'm like, back the funk up, I saw what you did. Well I didn't
because I was twelve at the time. But when I had my bot Mitzvah, they threw me a party, like but mitz was when you cash out as a Jewish person, Like that is when you go chi ching ching from my bot Mitzvah. All the money that was given to me by my relatives, my parents took and I never saw don My dad was like, we'll hold this for you. I'm like, oh please, I was like kiss that goodbye. Yeah.
My dad was terrible with his finances. There were there were weeks where like if he hadn't sold a car, it was very very tense at my house because there was no money coming in because he was always working in cash right, And I remember once it was like two months he hadn't sold a car, and then he finally sold one and he walked into the living room and handed my sister Shoshana and I each ten dollars. Okay, this really is just like Matilda. Have you ever seen
the movie and you're gonna need to watch it. It starts Danny DeVito, Ray Pearlman. I love Danny DeVito. I love his shape, his body type. That is my type of guy's. Her dad's a used car sales. When she's left her own devices, she literally has to admit herself into kindergarten. It sounds just like that's what I did. I had to do that. You went to school, and
just like I think I need to be educated. I don't know, but well no, I noticed that all the other kids started disappearing after her, and I was like, where did they go? And then on the weekend I ran into one and I was like, hey, where were you all week? And he's like, I went to kindergarten. I was like kindergarten. I was like, what is everybody doing that? And then when I went to my parents, she's like, don't worry about it. You know, things don't
really take off until first grade. You don't have to go to kindergarten. I'm like, I do have to go to kindergarten. You fucking idiots. I like to think of your mom is watching like soaps during the day. Yeah yeah, yeah, as the world turns. General Hospital was good one days of our lives. But Santa Barbara was for me, you know, the one, the one I loved Kelly Capwell, who is
Robin right? I loved her and I just wanted to come home and watch her swing her blonde air around on the television and she was so beautiful and I tried to call her. I called Information and I asked for Kelly Capwell in Santa Barbara, and I called someone named Kelly Capwell. I told Robin that story. She thinks I'm making it up and she doesn't realize what could we get her on the podcast for? I don't know what. Robin's not a big talker, like she doesn't love being interviewed.
I did interviewer on Ellen. Actually, she was one of the people that I interviewed on my episode of Ellen. Her. They told me to pick who I wanted, and I gave them a list of names, and I ended up being Robin Wright was Khalifa, Kristen Bell and then a nice cute human interest story because this woman was doing an awesome that's a nice lineup act of kindness that we wanted to highlight. Yeah, it was a nice lineup. Wait, I heard something. So this guy Jason Baldoni, I think
his name is. He's an author. You've actually bought me his book recently. Man Enough for I was on the phone with my friend yesterday and she was telling me that he was describing the time before you're born. You're in a womb, right, You're in like a sack, and you that is your reality, and that is technically a different dimension than when you are born into the world. And then you are part of something. So you're in
that little womb, you don't know anything. You're just developing, growing, sleeping, eating, getting nutrients and turning into a human. And then the human experience of being born when you're in the world. Okay, So like you can look at those two things and you're like, okay, I get that delineation. And then he was saying how you have to think of death the way you think of birth that then when you leave the world, it's similar to the way you came into
the world. That you're not gone, you're just not here. And I thought that was so yeah, I liked that. I was trying to explain it to my sister Shanda last night, and she's not on the same page as I am with you know, the physics of it all, because I have a hard time understanding physics, but I understand what energy means. But when the math gets involved and the dimensions get involved, I'm like, but I I know that it's true because it's science that seems very
easy to digest and it makes sense, right. I thought so too. I was like, this is an easy way to explain it. There was an Instagram post. It was a guy who had lost his brother three years earlier, was shot and his brother did this ad campaign Prince AD when he was like six years old, and it was on the side of this truck. And his brother took a picture of the ad that he had done himself when he was six and right before he died,
and sent it to his brother. And on his birthday, which would have been his thirtieth birthday, his brother was driving along the freeway and the truck, there's only one truck with that ad on it drove right past him. And when you hear stuff like that, you're like, Okay, there's something else at play here that we can't identify
and that we can't see because that's not just a coincidence. Well, I think that's why people have a hard time accepting things like this, because upon death, like the physical material of our persons is no longer present, so they think, like at conception, as soon as those cells merge, they can understand, oh, a baby is being formed and then
a person is born. But then when you die and you remove that factor, like that is what's hard for people, I think, to reconcile or understand that you continue on even though that material is gone, because like when you ask for signs from a loved one who's died, some people get them right away and some people don't. So you're like, well, what does that mean? Why can some people get them? And why are they available? You know, Sometimes I'm like I say to my mom, like I
need you right now, can you whatever? And I don't feel her presence, and other times I feel her presence all the time. So I guess maybe it's not up to us to be summoning the people. But yeah, when you think about it, like, Okay, that person is in another dimension now, but they still exist in some realm, you know, dimension matrix. I don't know. I mean, you can use whatever word makes the most sense to you.
But yeah, I did think that was an easy way to understand it, and it makes death so much more palatable. I feel like we're a little bit behind the eight ball when it comes to death in this country, Like it should be a little bit more of a celebration of life when people are taken from us. I mean, it's hard to look at it like that in all circumstances, especially when you know innocent people are gunned down by
the police force that is meant to protect. That's hard to be like, oh, this should be a celebration instead of a huge miscarriage of justice. Have you watched Surviving Death on Netflix? People should watch that. It's a really interesting take on what you experience after death or people's experiences with it. There was a woman who knew she was going to die while giving birth, and no one would listen to her, and she did, and then she came back and she knew exactly who was operating on her,
how they were trying to resuscitate her. Was fucking weird. But Laura Lynn Jackson is in it. And Laura Lynn Jackson wrote the book Signs, and that's you know about like asking for signs from your loved ones who have passed away, not passed on. Yeah, And so I started doing that. And my grandmother's is dragonflies, which I never see anywhere, but something will happen. I'm like, where the
fun did that guy come from? Like I literally had one fly through the house the other day as you never where the fund do you ever seeing fly right right right right? Well, no, because there's mosquitoes everywhere, because the world is melting, so ask for signs. I think my mom is a bird, and I think of her as one of my dogs, because she's definitely she's fucking with me. All right, Well, before we dive in, why don't we take a quick break? Okay, okay, who's on
deck up? First? We have actually call her. Her name is Claudia, so why don't we get her. I pronounce that Cloudia Claudia to see what she's got going on high Cloudia. Hey, is it Claudia or Cloudia? It's funny that you say Cloudia. Some people do say it, but it is Claudia, so people say Claudia. That's what I thought. Very South American of you. Yeah, I always tried an air on the side of South American, especially when I'm in North America. Well for me, oddly enough, it comes
from a German side. So oh a spreckenzie Deutsch mind bission. Oh well, that's one more word than I know I know how to say. Little. Oh yeah, yeah, I figured my mom was German. Oh really, what about you? Who's German on your side? Yeah? My mom. Her last name is Humble, which is bumbledee. Oh is it? I guess that's what she don't me. No, it is. Actually I took three years in German in high school. I also took three years of German in high school, but I
took four years. I know nothing besides it Cleveland Dick, which means I love you, not I love Dick. I think it means I love Dick. I can say it depends on how you pronounce it. Do you pronounce it cock or how do you pronounce it in German? Dick or you Dick? I couldn't tell you. Is I I know that? And sloth is sleep. Well, now that everybody's gotten there, this is very educational. Yeah. Well it's always
been my intent to educate the masses. So okay, So Claudia, Yes, tell us why you're calling in today, and nice to meet you. We're nice to meet you too. Yeah. So I was selling your producer when I wrote the letter. I must have been very angry and it must have been happening at the time. So my neighbor has been redoing his home. We share a wall. It's a row
home in Philadelphia. There's no firewall, there's no instantly. Ashton is just basically, you know, some wood slats and some horse hair from a hundred years ago and that's it, right, and then some plaster and I can hear him sneeze. I can hear everything. And I've lived there for ten years, or I lived here for ten years transplant from New Jersey and um, you had to get out of there right, Well, oh my god, that's a lateral move, though Jersey to
Philly is a lateral move totally. It's like I'm saving all my property taxes, but everything else sucks. So my vent here ten years. They had three adult children living with them when we first moved in, and I was considered them to be quiet neighbors, and I thought we were the loud ones. We would have dinner parties and friends over, but nothing ever really crazy. You know, we're adults. It's and everybody's gotta work, so it's like not a
big deal. Well, slowly, over the past few years he's been redoing the house and little things here and there. But once the pandemic hit, it was like all day from eight in the morning to six o'clock in the evening. Banging, hammering, like floor shaking crap, right, you know, and it's like, is he going to come through the wall, because either he's going to come through the wall or I'm going to go through the all Like what the funk are you doing? So based on the sounds we hear, we
can guess what is he doing now? Like doing his own electric is the one thing that we came to that got a little scary, right, So we were like, okay, well, houses are notorious for burning down in Philly. So then we try to move right and then it's like, no, you can't not unless you have like several hundred thousand dollars cash in your pocket. Are you even able to
get out of your home at this point? So I'm like okay, So now we tried to like play music, turn up the television, I don't know, we just try to like offset it, but it's always not so easy. So what have the conversation has been like up to now? My husband will say things like, hey, so it's pretty loud today, and he'd be like, yeah, we're almost done. We're doing the loud parts now, but we should be
done soon. And he'd be like, okay, you when he comes inside and then he tells me, and then I'm like, okay, that's great. And then three months later it's like, I guess we're going to have to leave again today because it's pretty loud. I know, they can't afford to pay for somebody to do the work and get it done sooner. So there's that, right. I don't want to be like totally insensitive, but how many months has this been going on for? Well? I mean how long has the pandemic nonsince? Like,
what a year ago? Yeah, so that's over a year. Yeah, it was here and there, upton to that point and we could handle it, I guess, but it was on we got lockdown and they were like, okay, well we're doing this now then, and we were like okay, well, it would have been nice if we had a conversation. I think this guy deserves You need to start playing hardball with this asshole. Like he's gotten away with this for a year. I mean, if he was giving you
an honest timeline, then that would be one thing. But you're living with a connecting wall. It's a much different issue. You can't just start construction without letting your neighbors know. And that's clearly what he's doing. If you can hear all of that, it is construction. Do you have any lawyer friends, I would put together a letter that scared the ship out of him. What do you think, Brandon, Like, I'm going through construction in my house right now. Your
rental has construction next to it. So I totally understand your frustration that it's at all year year. That's like abuse. That's like, you know, chronic abuse a year. Yeah. If he especially if he says we're gonna be done soon, We're gonna be done soon. That guy is never going to be done with anything, it sounds like. So, you know, that's disrespectful to the neighbor. So it's one thing like our house, the rental house I'm staying in next door,
they're building a huge monstrosity. There's nothing I can do about that. That's that they own that lamb. They can do whatever they want. But this, if you're sharing a wall with somebody, it's basic common decency to be a little bit more forthcoming with the actual facts of the matter and when he will be done, because it feels like there's no end date. You've been playing softball with
him and it's not getting you any results. So I would start playing hardball, and even if that means you having a fucking meltdown running outside and just like throwing ship at his house, like he needs to see that, he needs to see that this is the last straw, you know, like it's at the end and you're not gonna be playing Mr. Nice guy anymore. Okay, totally, totally, this sounds like a perfect assignment for me, though, to walk in and fucking talk to your neighbor may just
fly her there because she will do it. Now it's still as intense all day every day. Like for me, if this were my neighbor, I would go over. I'd be like, hey, we need a schedule of when this is happening because now it's such an inconvenience for me. You need to work around my schedule and what I have going on. And so these are the times where you can make noise. These at times when I'll leave the house, so we're not in this constant. Also, she's
on zooms. I mean, you're all in a pandemic. You have to make you have to do zooms all day, don't you? Are you in a job that means that I am and you know my work is they they're so good, you know, they don't care. They've got kids and animals crawling all over them too, so they're cool. They Yeah, but he that he doesn't know. If that's the case, you could say to him, buddy, I'm about to get fired from my job because of this noise.
I do know many times I've had to hang up on a zoom because of the noise coming from your house. Like he has to feel your pain. Yeah, And I think that's a good point. He doesn't know that you have nice colleagues and that they're accepting of this. He doesn't need to know that it's a ship show as far as he's concerned. Asking him for a schedule would
be really interesting because I think you guys are right. Like, we have this conversation with my husband, and I like it's almost like, does he have a mental problem, Like you see one of those people that's like really literally going fucking crazy because he can't do anything else. Well, I think people who play with lots of tools do have you know a little something that's something's a little bit loose, right, and that's what they're trying to tighten.
But guess what fucking asshole. We're all in a pandemic, we're all about to lose it. So that's not an excuse either. And you know you definitely having a good job or good work environment that's accepting of it is of no relevance. He doesn't need to know that. But yeah, asking for a schedule neither or presenting your schedule being like this is when based on my schedule, you can do this audible. Now, I think it should be the other way around, because he's the one causing the problem.
She that's bending over backwards for him. Why she presenting her schedule then that gives him all these pockets to do construction and well, because she can set that like if she only wants him to do it from X time, X times, she can be like, these are the times that you can work within that are convenient for me. It's something like, give me your schedule and then I'll take a look at it, and if I have something going, I'll tell you you can't be working. Yeah, I just say,
you've had a couple of tricky zooms. Listen, Like you're a professional. I understand you're doing work on your house. But we've been pretty understanding for a year because that's how long it's been going on, right, you're not exaggerating, no, Right, Okay, So it's been going on for a year, and I've had some issues with work, and I need your schedule
because I now need to schedule around your construction. He doesn't have a construction schedule, it sounds like, so that's going to throw him for a real loop de loop. Something you should also check this because it's something I had to deal with, is you should check with the city because there are working hours for construction of when he can do something like the decibel of how loud it can be with people around. So I'm sure that there's some sort of city guideline or regulation you should
look into. Yeah, we have an agency called three one one, and they definitely keep the work within the hours. It's like between eight and eight. Like he's always really good about that, but I will say he's able to do construction until eight pm, eight to eight. Remind me never to move to fucking Philadelphia. What is that? That's why
we're so angry here, Claudia. Just remember though, like there is a light at the end of the tunnel now, because if this is COVID or pandemic related, Like, everyone's gonna be coming out of it summer starting, people are getting vaccinated. He's going to want to not be in the house. His daughter just found out she's pregnant, so the mother said that they'll be going to visit more often and that they won't be home as much. So that'll be so there's a bright spot on the horizons.
One of the adult children that was living with him when he when you moved in. Yeah, feeling that they're going to move like I actually heard him on the phone asking how much he had left on his loan. But asking him for a schedule is a great first step, especially for the rest of those Everyone would appreciate that. Yeah, I think that's the most civilized way to go about it. I have some other ideas, but it seems like that's
the one we should stick to for now. Why don't you get back to us and we can if I need to call him, I'm also open to doing that. And what would you say, Oh, I have away with men. They don't like to talk to me, so they want the conversation to be over as quickly as possible. So I have a way with like really making my voice be heard and them ensuring that they will not hear from me again. No one wants a second call. Now. I believe that I've had it up to here with men,
you know what I mean. I have no patience for it anymore. And that is something, but absolutely like are you fucking sitting there wasting space or are you contributing something right now? I just had an incident with a guy, this pilot, and he was just wasting so much time. And I looked at him like, buddy, why are you wasting so much time? Why not be pushing the ball forward instead of holding us all back? And he's like, oh, is that what you think I'm doing? And I'm like, yeah,
that's exactly what you are doing. And then he's like, well, thank you for telling me. But it's like there's a lot of people that are not doing much and are taking up room. I agree, Well, maybe he's also fixing the house up to sell it. That's the other thing, right, So that makes sense. I mean, I don't want to
stop him from progressing in his life. Right. Well, you're very nice, a little too sympathetic, Like if you go out every day get bitten by the same dog, you need to go make a left and then avoid that dog. So you need a different framework from here on out. I agree, So keep us posted. I will, okay, Claudia, I will Chelsea, thank you, Okay, don't be a stranger. I won't. Likewise by Claudia, by guys, she said, likewise, how are we supposed to keep in touch with her? Brandon?
Did you get her digits? I'm going to hit her on the hip, don't worry about it. Does she have a beeper? I hope? So. I want a beeper. That would be so great for my drug deals. That would be really nice for both of us, just be able to page each other. Well, but that's why you have fired your friends on me. So you see where I am. When I am lost, I always got an eye on you. I feel like, you know, she seemed very normal and reasonable.
She was rational. She's going to be just fine because she's gonna go Yeah, she's going to go into this with an empathy. Yeah. Maybe it was an overabundance for this man, but I think that's going to put her on much better footing than going out and just being a total cunt. Yeah no, no, no, don't call me aunt. Taught you the word cunt. I use it probably too much and think that it's like now, I've taken it on because it's more appropriate for a woman to use
that word. And I feel like I can because I'm a gay man. But I should probably rein it in because it's pretty like they kind of. But I would never call a woman in the street a count like I would never call like to you. I would refer to one of your girlfriends as a count, and you have and she is and her name is. Should we get the next collar on the line where I feel like we're rocking and rolling here? I mean, it feels really good to be listening to people. Let me read
you his submission and then we can get right into him. Okay, his name is a mirror, he says, Dear Chelsea. I'm a fifty two year old married man who looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yet I find myself obsessing over looking good to younger women. I know that there's no chance of scoring at all with them, and I don't try. But how do I get past this? Taylor's old as time? Oh my god, where's a mirror? A mirror? Hi? What
a cool surprises is? Who would who would have thought well you did apparently when you wrote in your request for advice. I'm here. Yeah, well, if you could see my face, you'd realize I only look smart. Okay, well that's a bad outlook on yourself, but we can get to that in a minute. Brandon. Just read me your submission and it talks about why you want to attract younger women or be attractive to younger women, and that you look like Mr Potato. How is that correct? Yeah,
that's pretty accurate. Okay, Well, I would like to start by saying a why are you concerned with attracting younger women when you are married? I don't know. And I'm happily married too, and I would never consider cheating on my wife. But that's what just goes through my head. I'm going through a weird midlife crisis, right. You just want their approval, You want them to think you're attractive, and that's all you need, right, Right, So that's your
own insecurity coming to the surface. And why do you think you're insecure? I don't know. Probably because I'm just an average looking guy. In all my life, I've seen all the other guys I know could all the attention, So I think that might have something to do with it.
This is very interesting to me because so infrequently do we hear a man talk about his comparison to other men in relation to how they look so for me or to write in and wanting to look good to younger women, when really it's probably him internalizing like these handsome men that he's seen his entire life, Like, this is something that men also deal with, and you know, I deal with personally to try and adhere to I guess a societal expectation of what we should look like,
so a mirror like to your point, you're constantly under state of comparison to who's around you. You're pouring out my heart right now, But I merre, I think the thing and I'm going to take the lead on this one since I'm a man, Well, thank you. What I've realized for myself and here is that you can only provide this to yourself. So when you feel good and attractive and you have to find a way to make yourself feel that way, you won't care about what someone
an onlooker thinks. But no one else has that responsibility besides you. And for me, it was changing my diet because I eat like a twelve year old. I mean pop tarts for every meal and donuts. He would eat like six to seven donuts in one city. Yeah, he had some bad habits. And Brandon's a really good looking guy, but I felt so bad about myself. So typically people who feel that way, what you're seeing is not a
representation of what the world sees. So like when I look at myself sometimes it's like I have to take a quick little glance and walk away, because as long as I know I'm put together to go to a meeting or wherever, I know that I'm seeing something much different than what Chelsea sees. You have to be able to recalibrate your brain and reassure yourself that you have something of worth to provide. Not everyone looks like Daniel Craig. I always say, I want to look like Ryan Reynolds.
Never gonna wake up one morning and look like him. But there are other things that you have that someone else doesn't, so like my attentiveness, like what I know I can do and I don't have a skill or talent. Truthfully, I tell people that all the time. But what I can do is take care of people, and I'm good at that, and I like to do it. You have comedy like, you have a cooking skill like some everyone has something that they can about it. What are your
best qualities and attributes? Wow, I don't know. We'll forget about the exterior like to talk about like interior? What is what's your personality like? What do people love about you? What's your wife's favorite thing about you? Well? I'd like to think of myself as a generally easygoing kind of guy. I I think that so many things in life aren't worth making an issue over. I see people getting upset for the silliest things, and I just don't understand why
they expend that kind of energy. I try to be non judgmental. I am open minded. I'm open to new experiences because I think life is all about experience and that adds to one's personality and breadth of knowledge. But you know how many people don't have those things Like those are traits that one are very hard to teach or to be learned, and you have that in you already. I'm someone who takes issue with everything, and I wish
my partners he tells me all the time. He goes, I wish that you were lazier like I wish that you were not as observant as you are, that thinks not everything was life or death. And let me tell you just one thing sthetically, Not everyone can pull off a chunky glass and you're wearing glasses and you look great. Yeah you do, kids, I couldn't wear those. I think you have a negative narrative going, you know, And I think a lot of people feel that way. They have
a negative narrative going in their head. Like you, you're holding onto this one ideal that you know that's impossible to reach. You're not gonna look like Daniel Craig, but you have all these other attributes about yourself that you're under playing where those should be in the forefront, Like you need to leverage those, leverage those, like all of the things about being open minded, being non judgmental. Do you know how badly I wish I didn't judge people.
I fucking judge everybody. And it's a constant exercise to try and dismantle that, you know, to do not look at somebody's shoes and go, oh my god, how does anybody fuck that guy? You know? Like, so that's a huge advantage you already have, and you know who were the people in your life, like the closest people. Do you have kids, No, no kids, it's just my wife. Another reason to celebrate you have no children, I mean awesome is that that you went through COVID and didn't
have to homeschool anybody. That's a victory dance right there. I suppose you're right. I didn't think of it that. Yeah, So I think you need to flip the narrative that's going on. It feels like you're stuck with this idea
of something that's unattainable. So that's useless, and you need to focus on what is attainable for you and what you are good at, and then start bringing those qualities, like really focusing on that going like thinking about your open mindedness and how you can apply that to your life in terms of if you want to make more friends or if you want a bigger social life. You know,
you want to be more outdoorsy. No one's ever like, you know, as far as your body and your weight and exercise goes like, no one's ever gotten in shape. Excuse me, I just vomited. No one's ever gotten in shape. And then and I have women no, No, See that narrative just extinguish that that's self loathing and it's it's not that makes me feel sorry for you, not go oh, that's a fun guy that I want to hang out with. Well,
you just you just made a good point. How do I get people to think that rather than think that I'm pathetic? I mean when when these feelings of inadequacy creep up? Can you suggest anything I should do to try to get around you have to overdo it. I was made fun of my entire life. When I walk into a room, if people are laughing, it doesn't matter if I know them or not they're my best friends. I will automatically seem they're laughing at me. It has
nothing to do with me. You have to like in those moments, I hold my head up a little bit higher. It's like you're putting on a character. But I also just want sorry. I want to jump in. I'd love to interrupt people. I want to jump in because you're saying, like, how do I get these people to like me by applying your thought patterns to the things that you do have. Yes, I'm outgoing, I'm open minded, I'm not judgmental. You know,
I'm easy going. All of those things are great qualities, so amplify them, and that's how you get people attracted to you. You have to make yourself believe those things too, Like you know what's there because you're able to vocalize it. And I think that again going back to the physical part, so many women from Chelsea and Ice conversation, Chelsey conversation, that power conversation, power control. There you go, great, look
at you, Look at you. Your great grammar too, So there you go, put that in your bonnet and smoke it. But being that outgoing and leveraging those other things that you do have, like the physical part for most women is not at the forefront, Like, yes, there has to be a basis of attraction, but those other things like making someone laugh or giving someone knowledge on something can
be equally as attractive and engagement. Yeah, and like you've got to start believing it, you know, you've got to whether it's affirmations is like lame as that sounds, you know, think about it. You've got to change the pattern in your brain. Now, high on yourself, you've gotta behind yourself. You're alive, you're not dying, you have your whole life ahead of you, So why not get after it. I agree and that and that's the reason I wrote in
I want to learn how to seize the day. Well, do you feel like we've given you some ideas that are tangible enough for you putting into practice? Yeah, some really good, really good advice. And what about your exercise routine, because I think that always puts people in a good mood. What I was saying earlier is that no one word does makes that change in their life, like starts eating more healthy and starts exercising and feels worse Like that is a definite recipe for feeling better. Well, I I
bought it. I bought a bike and I usually go for an hour long bike ride every day now, and I have changed my diet, so I am losing weight. Great. Well, that's awesome. It already sounds like you're on your way. I have faith in you. You just need to hear from a strong woman that you're valuable, and you are valuable to the mail race and to the human race. That makes all the difference in the world to me, especially coming from you. Yeah, Okay, as long as you're
not a sexual assaulter, we've got no problems. You couldn't get laid in to morgue. Okay, well, we're gonna stop that. We're gonna stop those jokes. Couldn't get laid into morgue isn't a funny joke, and it's not worth repeating. Okay, Okay, what you know what a funny joke would be is I could get laid into morgue. Not try. Okay, Well, let's just leave the morgue out of it. But you know, check back in with us, Okay in a few months, I'd like to see how your progress is going, or
right us or whatever. Keep in touch because yeah, you just need a little bit of a pep talk, and if you need another one, we're happy to give it to you. We'll do when I can't thank you enough for your time. It's really appreciated, and I've got a lot of good takeaways from the coal. Great, and don't forget to have sex with your wife consensually. Okay, okay, consensually. That will help you feel good too. We'll do thanks and try and make her feel good while you're at it. Okay,
what is next on the docket? Well, I mean we're covering a lot of basic episode. We have more, oh god, okay, keep plugging away. Yeah, I feel very motivated right now. Let's just keep it going. Then. The next caller is kit from southern California, age thirty two and tech sales, writes, Dear Chelsea, can you speak to your experience with shame and do you have any advice for deep programming it
within oneself? Let's have you explain your back story. Kit Hi, Kit Hi Hi thinks it's nice to meet you both. Nice to meet you. Yeah, my back story. So, I have had a couple I didn't dating until I was in my late twenties, and I had a couple of veiled relationships and realized that I kind of internalized the responsibility for those field relationships, and so I started to see a counselor and a therapist who's been really great,
and it's been really helpful. And as I've been kind of confronting things that have prevented me from self actualizing, I suppose I've been realizing how shame has kind of had this deep, insidious hold on my subconscious and has been kind of at the wheel of a lot of my decision making, and I'm hoping to combat that. I
recently was driving and listening to Justin Long's podcast. He was talking to Kristen Bell and she was talking about aging and being okay with aging because you know, she got to be young and feel confident in a bikini and I kind of had to pull over and cry because I feel like I'm kind of approaching the sunset of my youth and I've never been comfortable in a swim suit. And that's like body shame, but there's lots
of other shame. And so I'm really in awe of a lot of the choices that you make and the things that you do, because it seems like shame does not play a role in that at all. And I'm hoping to maybe get some guidance from you and kind of d programming the shame to live a little bit more carefree. Well, the first thing I noticed is that you said you had a couple of failed relationships, Like, there's no reason to look at any relationship as a failure.
That's what relationships are there for a period of time. I mean, did you want the first relationship you had to be a success by way of marriage. I mean then you would have no life experience, so they're not failed. That's the first mistake you're looking at that as like it's a negative. Like the whole purpose of life is to evolve, to have experiences, to become wiser, to become more confident, to become less self conscious, right to have
less shame. So without plentiful experience, you can't move on and experience the world in that way you're looking for like a home run in your first relationship. That's not normal. You shouldn't have those ex patients. You have to allow room for things to lead in your view of a success and failure like so we have to get those words out of your vocabulary, because some relationships are neither a success nor a failure. I've had I don't know a few long term relationships, and I don't view them
as failures. I view them as incredible life experiences. They all gave me something I didn't have before. So that's the first thing I know. Shame plays a very big role in a lot of people's lives, especially a lot of gay people's lives. I yeah, you're right. I don't have a lot of shame, so it's not like I have a lot to on earth of it. But I have been witnessed to a lot of it, and it is really about the narrative that you're telling yourself about
the way you want your life to go. And you have to be open to not planning, executing, and succeeding in every single thing that you think you should do because of what society tells you to do. You have to explore what makes you happy, Like what does make you happy? What are the things that make you happy in a relationship? Like what would make you happy? Do you want to get married and have kids and have a family. Is that what your goal is? Maybe marriage?
Maybe some dogs, a lot of plants, probably, So what would a successful relationship look like to you? Then I guess one in which there's a lot of challenge for that kind of like mindfulness and intention and growth. I did a meditation this morning and it was with Deepox Shoprah's meditation with Oprah, and it said something he said, every day is part of your path to get where you're going, Like every single day, whether you see it or not, or it feels like, oh that happened, Why
did I have this setback? Nothing is a setback. Everything is moving you forward. Right as long as you have the attitude that this is part of your journey, I can't avoid using that word because it's just too everyone. I hate it. I hate it so much. It reminds me of the band Journey, which I also wasn't a big fan of, but you know your journey. It's so important for women espe actually to be okay with your current circumstances and to not put all this pressure on
yourself about what you think you should be doing. You have to really find out what brings you joy, what brings you happiness, because there are plenty of things that are going to bring you joy and happiness that you don't even know about yet because you're thirty, right, Like I didn't find out about my own interests and like
hobbies until I was older. I was just sitting there, like running that kind of bicycle of life for a long time, and so I was like thirty seven, thirty eight, I didn't slow down and think, wait, what do I want? What am I looking for? What do I want to get out of life? And it's not saying that you have to wait until your thirty eight or thirty nine to find that out, but you do have to take the pressure off of your shoulders, Like that's no way for you to enjoy life. You can't put all of
this pressure on. And that's where I think shame comes from, is when you're not meeting the expectations of what you think people expect from you. Yeah, Hunter, I know that you're pretty familiar with the angiogram, and I'm like a textbook one the perfectionist, So that that all makes a lot of sense, right right, So there you go. So you're a perfectionist and you yeah, and you want everything probably wrapped up in a nice little bow. And I would say, like, you know, do you have a dog
right now? Yeah? I do? Okay, Well, that must keep you busy and that makes you happy, right, I know? Dogs make me so fucking happy. Yeah, fat dogs. Do you have a fat dog? I do. He's a hundred pound Mastiff named Abner, And there's just everything about that visual It is very exciting for me. Yeah, we have I love the drooling. I love when dogs are like that when you get him off of sofa and the whole sofa is just wet because of their big Most people are grossed out by that, but we just get
our couches cleaned. So anyway, back to you, the moral of the stories, how are we going to diminish her shame Brandon, what's a good Okay? I really feel for you because I am a perfectionist in a way that my boyfriend basically says it makes life enjoyable that I have a certain expectation of how things should be at all times, which makes me very good at my job but really miserable in my personal life. So it could
be anything. I won't go to an event if I don't look or feel exactly how I thought I should leaving the house like it's overwhelming at times, But what I've realized is that feeling keeps me from doing so
much that life has to offer. And as soon as I started to retrain how I approach situations and not feel a pressure of moving forward but being present and being mentally engaged with what's going on today, Like all I can control is what's going on around me right now, I would think so far ahead of the future and just trying to construct these ideals of what my life should look like or be In that moment, I remember turning thirty and feeling really fucking good about where I
was at. I was working for Chelsea, the only person I wanted to work for. Went from an internship to working for her. I make great money, we own a house, I have a boyfriend. Like all these things, I thought, I'm in a great place. I literally got out of the shower to go to my birthday dinner and was crying because in the shower all I could think of was how many people it said, like are you where you thought you would be at thirty? Like, oh, you're an assistant right now? Like you know, it was what
other people were putting on me. I'm like, I'm an assistant who makes incredible money and does what I want to do. Like you're in a miserable job sitting at a desk that you fucking hate. So not kid, He's talking yes in a broader scope. But I started to remind myself that the pressures I was feeling were those being placed on me, not what I actually was concerned about.
And so I guess my suggestion for you was what helped me through this was I don't know if it's a lifestyle per se or a thought process, but it's called wobby sabby. It's a Japanese thing, and it's basically embracing the imperfection and allowing that to be perfect for you. So I literally got a tattooed on me. I never thought that I would get a tattoo and it's my little daily reminded. And mind you, the tattoo's fucked up and it's like the universe. It's it's the Universe's way
of reminding me. When I looked down at it, it's all faded like some of the letters you can't even see, and I'm like, this is this is exactly what it should have been, because I would have gone to get it lasered off, like if it wasn't exactly perfect and it was hand done and very thin print. You have to create a new mindset for yourself and basically allowing yourself to feel imperfect and it being okay, Like I'll look at things and almost be like wobby Sabby that
then't turn out how I wanted. It doesn't matter because there's tomorrow. Like what the fund does? Most of this matter that we are so worked up about, it doesn't. Yeah, getting a mantra in your head or like do you meditate ever? I have done it a couple of times, yet my therapist is pretty on board with me doing it more. Yeah, you should do guided meditation download like Deepak Chopra's app or Headspace or Calm or any of
these apps guided meditation, that it's specific to your perfectionism. Right, there are all of those, and it's about just being
in your life. If there's one about shame, like there will be one about shame, there will be one about perfectionism, there will be There are all sorts of things, but it's really about accepting your life for what it is in this moment, and if there are changes that need to be made, knowing that you're capable enough to make them, and knowing that that voice in your head is most likely like that little girl version of you that's been taught to be that's kind of stuck in this certain
kind of pattern of thinking. And it's almost like, you know, my therapist gave this to me. Is like my little girl version of me is like nine years old, and when I get scared or I get nervous, or I get competitive, it's that nine year old girl thinking are we gonna be okay? Are we gonna be okay? And he goes, you need to talk to that little version of you. You need to name her. I'm like little Chelsea.
He's like, well whatever, but name her, and so when those feelings come up that you're not comfortable with, you know that to soothe her. It's like, no, I'm here now, this is adult me. I've got this under control. This is your life, and you're in control. I mean, you've got your ship together enough to be calling in here.
I can see you. You have your ship together, you know, so you're not a hot mess, and there's power in that and being able to acknowledge how you're feeling and that you know it's not how you want to feel. You can literally pull your self out of that, and that is power. Knowing that right now I'm feeling shameful, I'm not feeling happy where I want to be. In that moment, you have the power to change that say like, oh, I'm going to acknowledge this, but I'm going to make
an adjustment. Like some people never have that sense of self or awareness, and so they just sink like you're you're on the horizon. Like you there's so much ahead of you because you've been able to acknowledge that you're not where you want to be. But every day you can make the choice to put yourself in a different position, and every day will get easier to not feel that way, to not feel ashamed, to not feel the pressure, and to embrace where you're at and how you're going to
move forward. Are you crying? Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty amotive, I think just naturally. I'm curious if you have experience with like or advice for how to keep the faith. Uh huh yeah, yeah, it's a daily practice. You need to write down there is no shame in my game on your refrigerator, right, You need to write that down so you fucking look at it first thing in the morning and you're like, and say it out loud, there is no shame in my game. Make it fun, make
it cool. You are going to be fine. The very fact that you're here is proof that it's right. You know, you are unique and you have qualities that nobody else in the world will have. So you have to always celebrate yourself. You have to always say like, oh, look what I did there, Look what I did there? You know, and challenge yourself and be brave when you need to be a little brave so that you can even boost
that confidence even more. Because I know when I do something that scares me, I always come out the other side. I'm like Okay, yeah, yeah, you're still brave, Like that's good, that's good. You're a badass, you know, and that helps me always. I think it's about Chelsea talks about this
a lot. It's about retraining, like flip the script on the story that you're writing for yourself and not allowing it to be like what I don't have from those past relationships that didn't work, Like, look what's available to me because they did not work, Like, look at how many potential suitors are out there. Like, if you're holding onto that baggage, you're not gonna be able to pick anything new up. So you have to drop all that ship from the ask. You have to let that go,
give yourself the space to allow new things in. It's like a hoarder, Like your house is packed, so you're gonna start tossing some shit out, cleaning that space and allowing new people to come in to occupy your mind, your heartor whatever that looks like for you, because it's it's not about what you've missed out on, it's about
what you have available to you now. Yeah, you're thirty years old, you have your whole baby ahead of you, You have fire life ahead of you seriously, like, thirties nothing people by the time you're seventy, people are gonna be living till they're a hundred and fifties. So with science, we're all going to be here for a lot fucking longer than I wanted to be. And this is this is We've talked to a lot of people about this. Sadly, it's and it's something that Chelsea and I both struggle with.
Everyone has their insecurities and things that seem overwhelming in certain moments. And I had a list wrote in my notes of everything I hated about myself and just to like physically see it written down, Like, do you realize like someone would kill to have any aspect of what you have? Like you're offering things that you don't even know that you embody or that you have to offer. And so as soon as you start thinking about what makes you different, it will help you think why you
have value, not what you don't have, what you do have. Yeah, what are the some of the things that you like about yourself? Like what's your favorite thing about yourself? Um, I'm a pretty solid shit talker. That's the best. You know what that means? That means you're good at happy hour and who doesn't love that. Oh I don't drink, well, you can eat there's happy hour food, which is basically what gets me there in the first place. I mean, do you feel like any of this advice has been
helpful to you? I do, and I think that using that horder analogy was really helpful. This has been one of the hardest things is when we've had women. Colin and I have all sisters, So I just feel such sorrow for the way that we have conditioned women to believe like how their life should look. And you can cast a fucking really wide net and if one day doesn't work out, there's always another guy. It's not like
these five are all that's available to you. Like, you are a beautiful woman, you have great hair, you have a beautiful smile. Like there again, you have to look at the things that you do have. I'm sure you see yourself differently in a mirror, and I hate to make it physical, but I'm looking at you. So this one that did not work, there is always another one. And it's not about men. It's about jobs, it's about opportunities,
it's about friends. Like you can't hold onto the things that did not work right right, and stop saying failures. Nothing's a failure. You know, who cares. It's a redirection.
It's like, thank god, that's over, next, next, next. You know, everything is a stepping stone to get where you're going, and you have to have faith in that and you have to And I think meditation would help you just to be in the present moment, you know, it helps you to kind of get that noise out of your head and get that kind of negative thinking out of your head. So you might want to try one of those and try and do it for like ten days, make a commitment and see how you feel at the
end of ten days. Ago. Huh, my therapist made me committed meditating for three months, every single day for three months, and it I saw the difference right away in my pattern of thinking. So I'm not easily influenced. So I think that it will help you. And going to counseling is going to be helping you. And yeah, I think you just needed a pep talk. Probably thank you and thank you for an action item. That's helpful too. As a perfectionist, Yeah, right right, you'll love to put that
in place. A little calendar and some check marks, I'm sure, and go right that. Go write that message no shame in my game on your fridge. I'm going to I'm going to request a really bad tattoo of it. Also. Now, great, well, match, Thank you so much. Keep us posted, let us know how it's going. Well, Thank you very much. Why don't you give us a ten day check in on your meditation? Okay, I can do that. Thank you for keeping me accountable. Well, we'll be checking in so if we don't hear from you,
you'll hear from us, So you better do it. Thank you. Well, we have a very special guest today. His name is Deepak Chopra, and he is going to talk to us about meditation, about his own probably personal experience. I do his meditation an app all the time. He has a new one with Alicia Keys called Activating the Divine Feminine, The Path to Wholeness. I feel very whole as a woman.
Do you feel whole as a gay male? I feel like this is going to be the perfect meditation for me because I think it's going to cover a lot of bases. Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't even think about that. It's like, all, yes, it's intersectional, well as it should be. I did one yesterday and I did another this morning to familiarize myself. But I listened to Deepak almost daily when I meditate. So feel less masculine? Now do I feel less masculine? Well? Right now, my breasts are the
size of cantelopes and they are erect. Like when I got out of the shower, they almost hit me in the chin because when I get my period, they turned into water balloons. So do I feel less masculine today? I feel very feminine because of those two basketballs. But when they deflate, I will go back to my more masculine form. Well, then you'll have what nineteen or twenty days left of the aland so so that'll that'll be
perfect through my cycle. It feels like we talked about my period a lot on this podcast, but I keep it on my calendar just to know what's coming. Well, you know what, Brandon, when you were in Hawaii, I got my period and I had no idea it was coming. Every shocking for you. It was shocking. I was like, what what is this? Especially you know how forward leaning I am towards wrapping this little area. You're ready, So I am pro menopause all the way bring it on, please.
Periods are for the birds such a pain and they asked to be a woman such a pain in the ass. Well, this seems like the perfect time to bring on deepak Joe bra exactly, Hidepak, how are you a good? Sorry for being alate? Were you meditating? I like the playing
all over your glasses cute? Look. Oh yeah, that's like ancient five years thirty five years you've had those glasses, yea, their faith just like everything else about me, right right, of course we're very excited because I do your meditations all the time, and meditation for me has become a great tool in my life to get my day off on the right foot, to calm myself down, you know,
all the good things that come from meditation. And I was hoping maybe that you could give us uh personal story about either you or someone that you've worked with that had a huge transformation with meditation, somebody whose life
changed for the better. Obviously. Okay, So the year is nine eighty and the date is October one, and I am a residented medicine in teaching hospital in Boston, Harvard Associated Harvard University Associated Medical School, and I've just resuscitated a patient to add a heart attack and put him on a ventilater and put a pacemaker, and then walked outside the hospital to smoke a cigarette. And there's a moment there where I asked myself what am I doing?
At that time, I had thirty patients out patients, thirty patient patients in patient, fifteen patients in the I c U and totally burnt out. And that moment was what am I doing. I'm you know, I'm trying to help my patients and I'm burned out. So I threw away my cigarette at that moment. And those days, I was also every weekend, you know, on Fridays, if I was not on call, I was getting smashed with alcohol. So that was one moment where everything shifted and I look
up meditation very seriously. Now I've grown up in India where it was a tradition, but when you go to medical school and you go through all the internship and residency and all the crisis, I was very poorly paid. I was making two dollars a month in nineteen seventies, moonlighting in an emergency room after working in the hospital,
going without sleep for days on end. And then I started meditation, and then you know, that led me into what today called mine body bendisine, that led me into what today we called integrative medicine, and ultimately led me to spirituality. So that's my journey. Wow, wow, I'm that's a great story. I didn't know that about you. I've read many of your books, but I didn't know that personal story about you. That's probably something so many people
can relate to. You know, I certainly can being in that position, in under so much pressure and then not ever ever allowing yourself the rest to be practicing it in a mindful way, right or in a more mindful way. A question I have for you is, by the way, I did your new Alicia Keys meditation about the Feminine? Yeah, yeah, I loved it. Very spiritual, very yeah. I did it yesterday and this morning. I love your twenty one day challenges with Oprah. I do them all the time. How
to get Unstuck? I did that, So I love I love listening to your voice. It's so helpful for people who don't think that they know how to meditate. To do a guided meditation, it kind of takes the thinking out of it for you. So it's really good for anyone listening to download that app and find a series that applies to you or something that strikes your fancy to take. Can download the Choper app on iPhone or Android, and they can register online through the website as well.
Talk to us a little bit about the things that I hear all the time, and I'm an automedical doctor even though I pretend to be the things I hear all the time, or people asking when are you doing it right? When are you meditating right? And how do you get yourself to stop thinking? What do you have to say to that? So, Jesse, it's the wrong question. If you're doing it, then you're doing it right, period.
And how do you stop thinking? That's a thought, So to to stop thinking is also a thought, you know, So you don't try to stop thinking, because when you try to stop thinking, you have more thoughts. And all you do is follow the process and whatever happens is appropriate for you at that moment. So some people say, my fall asleep, well that means they need more sleep. Some people say, I get lots of thoughts and lots of stress. Actually, all these demons start coming out while
they're releasing stress. In fact, thoughts are a release of stress. Think of meditation as having an upward stroke and a downward stroke. So the downward stroke is the practice of megitation, whether it's a mantra meditation or its reflection or mindfulness whatever, that's the downward stroke. The upwards stroke is thought. So you have both. You can't have one without the other. It's like a wave that rises and then it subsides, and in between the rising and the subsiding of the
wave is a little bit of flatline. That flatlight is when you're in touch with your spirit, and you don't even know it, because when you're in touch with your spirit, time flies, and that's the only sign that there is. There was no time you say, I wonder where I went? You know, it's like and then there's an ahigh experience, and as you ground yourself in the experience, it becomes very delightful and very joyous. So that's the spiritual component
of megitation. But there's a biological component. The biological component is your mind starts to settle, and then your body starts to settle and then goes into what we call homeostasis or self regulation. Inflammatory markers come down. Now recently, we've published a lot of research that has been replicated
by others. But our research originally through our foundation, was with Harvard and UCSD with the Nobel Laureate from UCSF Elizabeth Blackburn, who discovered the enzyme telomeres, which is the anti aging enzyme. At the level of the genetic of our jeeves. What we found is all the genes that cause self regulation or homeostasis or healing, they went up some seven team fold. All the genes associated the chronic illness and information went down, and the level of the
enzyme telometers went up. Elizabeth Blackbird, who won the Nobel Prize for discovering the enzyme, she was shocked. She she actually published a book after that called the Telomere Effect. Now similar ardeas have been replicated by others. So meditation is very profound biological consequences, but then also creates emotional resilience, emotional flexibility, more empathy, more compassion, more joy, more peace.
So the benefits of biological, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Yeah, that's helpful for people to know because I I always tell people it doesn't matter if you're doing it right. It matters that you're setting aside the time to give to yourself and when it clicks, it will click, but it may not click each time, right, and when it does, and all of a sudden, the little bell goes off and you've you've forgotten that you're even meditating. Is when
you feel I've done it. I did it. So tell us about this new exciting partnership you have with mine med about psychedelics. This is so exciting. Okay, So mind made came about because I was looking of a way to destigmatize both mental illness and psychedelics. There's a lot of literature on psychedelics also creating a decrease activity in a part of our brain that's called the default mode network.
So we might want to read about it. It's on the internet, but also Michael Pollan's recent book talks about it, and many scientists talk about it. So this is a part of our brain which is the neural correlate of our ego drive. So when we're very aggressive, very predatory, very hostile, the default mode network gets activated. When you meditate, it goes down. But when you take psychedelics it also goes down. There, it cools down, which means your ego
goes down. You have access to a broader awareness, which spiritual people call the spiritual demand. We don't have to call that. It's expanded awareness. And when there's expanded awareness, there's also self regular lation also because you're not editing information out based on your habitual patterns of behavior and belief.
So when I saw mind Made is engaged in both increasing the awareness and education on the research on both mental depression, the stigma around mental disease, and the stigma around psychedelics, I thought this was a good opportunity to partner with them. It's not about selling recreational drugs or
anything like that. It's about bringing awareness, education and research to remove the stigma and then go the f D a route to get approval for psychedelics for assisted therapy, and not only depression and suicidal tendencies, but also in chronic illness. Only five percent of disease related gene mutations are fully penetrat which means there's five percent of genetic errors that guarantee the disease. You know. Angelina Jolie is
the example I side. She had she had the Baraka gene that predicts breast cancer, so she had to have a preventive mast set to me for that. Now there are new techniques that are being developed like crisper and gene editing. So I think in a few years you'll be able to cut and paste genes the same way you cut and paste your email. You'll be able to breathe the barcode of a gene, delete the defective gene, insert the healthy gene, and Baila, the disease is cured.
But that applies only to five of people, whether it's cancer or crowding illness, or heart disease or diabetes. Less than five percent are genetically determined completely. So when you actually introduce things like good sleep, stress management, movement, yoga, breathing, emotional intelligence, nutrition, restoring biological rhythm, spiritual practice, and then you add, in selective cases psychedelic therapy, that's a pretty good promise for the future of well being. And that's
why we partnered with bite Man. Okay, and what's your
experience with psychedelics. I had my first experience when I was seventeen years old in medical school and uh I was in India at that time, and we had some students from Harvard who had some madesty with them and so one day they invited us, the Indians, to join them, and it was a very interesting experience because you know, I remember still I was looking at a poster of Mother Teresa and she was hugging and licking the wounds of children with leprosy, and we were told that when
she did that, people got healed. I mean, that was the gossip on the street. But I had immense feeling of compassion. I mean I sat there for the entire session just feeling that deep, deep belonging to alleviate suffering in the world. And that was my first experience, and then thereafter I actually I had a few other experiences while in medical school that I didn't think about it at all. But recently I've been assisting with the people who are experts, you know, people at n y O
and other experts. I've been assisting people go through the last phases of their life and their terminal and they're confronting death. And so far by experience, I'm not taking the stuff myself. I'm just sitting there during assisted therapy, and I've been amazed at how people lose their fear of death, how they feel at peace, and how they become so calm that they they lose their pain, they lose their suffering. So that's been a very interesting recent
insight for me. But if you look at the literature of pain management, treatment of addictions, treatment of severe anxiety depression, suicidal ideation PTSD, all the evidence is coming out right now. Yeah, I've read a lot of that stuff, and I read Michael Pollan's book, and I yeah, I go to this conference annually called the Wisdom's Two Point Out Conference, where there's a lot of neuroscientists, doctors, therapists, you know, psychiatrists
of that sort of talking about the benefits. And there was some crazy statistic about something like seventy eight percent of people suffered from PTSD after taking micro doses guided LSD, that like se of them after one year were cured of their PTSDA. A lot of that researches on veterans and you know, people who are suffered PTSD because of the AMA of war. Yeah, yeah, well, this is all awesome information. Thank you so much for calling in. I
was very excited to talk to you. I hope to talk to you some more in the future, and I just wanted to personally thank you for your meditations. They've really helped me. Your voice really is soothing and wonderful to listen to. First thing in the morning. Thank you. And I don't like men. I don't like men first thing in the morning, So that's a that's a big compliment. Okay, thank you, thank you Deepak, sweetheart. We didn't get you
to say anything that. I just wanted to hear your experience with meditation and you have done it for years now, and then to hear someone who is so enlightened, I can't imagine. It must be a burden, honestly to have that level of responsibility. I mean, he's kind of the face of meditation. Well, there are a couple of paces. Yeah, he is definitely one of the biggest ones. You know. Eckart Totle is another one who I think is incredible to listen to. They both put it in a scientific way.
And when you hear about the body and the mind getting on board with you know, like so even the practice of meditation helps your body physically calm down is a big thing. Something that he said, which is always important to remind everybody of, is that when you are acting in anger or frustration at any time like that is operating out of ego. Anytime you're angry or yelling, it's your ego because there's no reason to yell, like unless you're in a war. I found that very interesting
as well. His reference to the ego and how it really affects you're intake of the things around you, because when it's filtered through that very personal lens, like you don't have awareness to your surroundings, right. And it's like if you're driving in traffic. You know, I have friends who have like severe road rage. If you're driving in traffic and you're getting that upset during traffic, like that's
not normal either. That's operating out of ego like that, even though it doesn't feel like it is, your anger towards other drivers is almost like they're taking something away from you, and it's really not personal. I think every one has had that or experienced it to some degree where you're trying to merge onto a lane and people are taking it personally sir, I have to get over
this lane. Ends it's not about you. I'm not trying to take anything from you or to prove a point to you, but they take it as like the cause they're going to take up. Or also like somebody beeps at you or yells at you through the window and you react like no, fuck you asshole. It's like, no, no, that's that's your ego. If somebody is an asshole to you out of nowhere or beeps at you, it's like,
there's no reason to react that way. The response is, Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you, or oh that person is having a really bad day, like you know, don't be a cunt, don't give them the finger, don't be a bit, and don't yell at strangers in traffic. Is the bottom line. That's the moral of this episode is, please stop yelling at people in public. I don't know who I'm talking to everyone, I've stopped doing it, so
if you I can stop doing it. Almost anybody can stop doing it because I think I am the prime example of somebody that is not easily susceptible to changing their patterns of behavior. So anybody who thinks that they can't do some thing, please use me as your bounce house. Did you get an erection about your breast? We talked about this. I'm trying to turn out we can't have any more comments about my breast. I don't think unless
I'm talking about another thing. I did want to add on that we didn't get to during discussion is that Deepak also has an organization called Never Alone, which focuses on mental health and suicide prevention. So anyone who needs any serve of assistance, or you know someone who might need some assistance, please go check out Never Alone. It's
curated information available twenty four hours a day. Also, let me just go over the meditations that I've been doing on his app for people so that they have a reference point if you're kind of looking. There's one called Journey to You, which is really good. It's like it's just about talking about how to meditate. It kind of gives you. There's an emotional s O S. There's a mental revival, there's a balanced body spiritual activation, which is
a good intro. Like I've done all these courses, and the ones with Oprah are really good too, because her voice is also like silk. And it's also twenty one days because that's how long they say it takes to make or break a habit. Oh really, I thought it was three three days. Three days of a consistent habit usually sets the tone. But yeah, I don't know. I looked that up at one point because I was like,
why twenty one days seems like a strange number. In eight days is a cycle mentual cycle, and it takes nine months to make a baby. It's also a movie starring Sandy Bullock. I think she goes to rehab in that movie in Days. Yes, that is a Sandy Bullock movie. Watch it. I love I love stories about rehab. I love movies about rehab to anyway, Yeah, go rent that movie and rent that movie, like people, what fucking go
to Cockbuster and rent that movie. Okay, well, it sounds like it's time to take a quick break, and I just can't wait to get back to you. I remember growing up and just looking at my parents thinking they do not have their ship together, and childhood is going to be a waste of my time. And I was not interested in being a child. I thought other children were also annoying, and I just wanted to sprout up and get my own apartment. All I could think about was getting my own place. From the time I was
like three. I like to think of child Chelsea in her own apartment, just running that show, smoking cigarettes, you know what I mean. TV dinners on like a TV dinner tray as you watch the Nightly up my feet up and I'm on like a bark a lounger. Yeah, yeah, that makes the most sense. That was exactly why I
probably didn't feel right when I was born. I was like, something is off with this scenario, Like it just doesn't seem right, Like it didn't seem like it felt like we were trying to fit a triangle into a round hole, and the round hole being my family, me being the triangle. In case you weren't able to follow that, I'm not good with shapes. Okay. I don't know if you remember Nicole trans She was the woman that we spoke with
who lived in the college town. It was basically just surrounded by do she guys, And your advice was to reapply that energy into herself. Well, she wrote in to do a little follow up, and she says, oh my god, what's sad news. Well, it could be happy for her. She says, Dear Chelsea, I've taken your advice, and I've been focusing on myself and feels so much better not having to worry about anyone but me. Nicole Tran short and sweet. Wow, look at that, But I think that's
a wise piece of advice for everyone. If you feel like you're watering a dead plant, whether that be dating or friendship. Like reapply that, take time for yourself, do things for yourself. You're never going to lose when you do that, right, Just don't become a narcissist. Okay, Well, I think the moral of the story here is that meditation is helpful for many different things, many different struggles that you might be experiencing in your life. It's not
going to hurt you. No one's ever meditated and been like, well, that fucking ruined my life. It's just like therapy. You know, nobody ever comes out of therapy and was like, oh my life is ruined. That therapist ruined my life. I mean, there are bad therapists, but obviously you have to find somebody that understands you and it's coming from a good place, which shouldn't be too hard because they have to get
a degree to do it. But I do understand chemistry is a thing for a lot of people, and I know a lot of people go to a therapist, or they go to two therapists and they give up because there's not the right match. Well, like Depox said, there is no bad meditation. You can't be doing it wrong, and any meditation is a good meditation because you're doing it, so that's a great starting place for people. Yeah, agreed, And of course you can always email your issues, your questions,
your thoughts to Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Again, Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Problem solved.