Confidence or Confidant?

I want to thank everyone who was there. It was such good vibes, had tons of friends come out, and I'm just really excited about my stand up tour. So I wanted to give you guys some more stand up dates. If you live in Cincinnati. September, I'm coming to Cincinnati. If you live there, get your tickets. I'm coming to Detroit on October one. October two, I'm coming to Indianapolis. That's in Indiana, and then October three, I will be

in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So I am coming to perform Taft Theater, Filmore Detroit, Detroit, the Murat in Indianapolis, and then Davos Performance Hall in Grand Rapids. And yeah, and if you don't live in one of those cities, I'm probably coming to a city near you. I'm coming to Florida. There's a lot of action in Florida. I'm coming to Portland, Maine. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Miami Beach, St. Petersburg, going to Arizona, Reno, all of my places anyway, look for tickets at Chelsea

handler dot com, ticket Master Live Nation only fans. So I am coming to you, and I hope that you guys come and see my vaccinated in Horny to our because it's so much fun. And I go off, It's O g Chelsea. Okay. So we are gonna supplement our weeks off with some little nuggets for you to listen to each week, and we have some follow ups from our callers, which are always, as they say in Espana,

in crazy play. So I'm very much looking forward to continuing to do this podcast for all of our loyal listeners, of which we have many, And I want to thank all you guys for listening because you've helped make this a big success. And I am really really looking forward to continuing on Sagimos. As they say, I took Spanish for three years, but I still can only say about seven words because I'm such a good student. Oh, I'm reading this book about autism. What is it called a

Man's Guide How to Be Human? I'm Man's Guide to Living with Autism? How to be Human? Yeah, Man's Guide

to Living with autism. Oh my god. It talks about the brain, and it talks about like how you know, there were so many thousands of years where people didn't know where our brain, Like they thought our heart was the brain, or like the think tank of our body or our liver, and like people didn't understand that the brain and how you know, it was before science, so nobody could even dissect anything or there's no biology like in that way. So it's fascinating and how like autistic.

Like this guy sees grew of words like go get me a glass of water doesn't connect in his mind, go get me a glass of water, like words lined up in order don't make any sense to him. He's like, I don't. I don't understand why you would even say that. So it's just interesting to see how the brain is different. It's like they're just kind of devoid of emotion, you know, which I think is a bonus. I mean it's direct, very directed to the point, and it's like, great, that's perfect.

But this guy was like, listen, it's so hard to be in your world. Like, imagine the world is built for somebody else, everybody else but you, and you're in this world and you want to be part of it, but like, you'll never ever be ordering off of the same menu as everybody else. And he's like, to be a member of society, I have to put the effort forth even though I don't feel emotional, and he goes, I understand what it means to be a member of society, and I would rather be a member of society than

not be. So I have to work twice as hard to be able to communicate and express to people like hey, I might not react the way you want because I have autism. That sounds exhausting for him, I know, I know, yeah, totally. Well it's going to be changing because now they say,

like one in four kids is autistic. Well I think that makes a lot of sense because when we think about growing up, and there was always kids that were seemed slightly off or seemed like their social cues were off, and like, you know, I remember disregarding people like that, thinking like there was something wrong with them, and it's like, obviously, now we know there's nothing wrong with them. But it's really enlightening to learn about that stuff because I didn't

really understand autism. And this book is fucking awesome. Okay, sweetheart, what are we doing today? What's going on? Sweetheart? We are We're talking about something that you have an abundance of. Well, people perceive that you have an abundant of this breast milk confidence, and I would say that you are inherently confident. Would you say that, sweetheart? From personal experience, I would. I think that's something people put on me all the time.

They think I have no fear, and then I'm super confident. I'm like, where did I don't know where I left that impression. No, see, I can separate those two. I think that you have a reasonable amount of fear going into some things, maybe it's a project or an event, but your confidence surpasses your fear. You are confident enough to accept the fear and move forward, which other people aren't.

I think that's why people perceive you as being so confident that you'll go into things, maybe blindly sometimes yeah, right, I have the confidence in my ability to get through it and to make it a positive experience. Yes, I do. I do have that. I believe in myself. A lot of people don't have that. A lot of people have issues in so many aspects of their lives with their confidence, whether it be at work, at home, with their body. And so I think you're really I think you're gonna

have a lot to say for this episode. Yes, well, well that's what we're here for. We're here to build people up, right. We want everybody to be a little bit braver and a little bit more confident. I had to say. I was seeing a patient earlier today on the telephone. I was talking to a friend of mine who was going through something difficult with her daughter, and

she really was a hot mess. And I spent about an hour on the phone with her, like her voice was shaking and and and there was such fragility in her voice that I was I just I felt her pain so much. And then by the time we got off, she was a little bit stronger and a little bit calmer, and I told her to do some serious deep breathing exercises. And so that's an example for me of people in my life that don't have that confidence, and I just I wish I could just you know, you wish you

could just inject them. Yeah, I want to get injected with a small syringe, but the syringes I used for my peptides in the morning, and just give it to people and be like, here's your confidence shot. You know, everyone has it in them, within them, they just have to tap into it. But I think that you are able to give that to them in a way just by practicing what you preach, that you are able to show them that confidence by doing what you say you're going to do and by operating in a certain way

like that is powerful for people to see. And we've heard it because people will call in and say that that through your example, they've been able to find that strength of that resilience or whatever. That is not tuting your own horn. But I do think it's important that people in our lives set those sort of examples, because you really are able to kind of harness your own

confidence when you see it through someone else. Well. I just did it also this morning when I was in Beverly Hills because I had to go to a dermatologist to talk about doing something to my under eyed skin because it's so creepy. So there's some CEO two laser you can do. And I was over there. I aunted that to her full face and yeah, but it seems like that's a big thing. Yeah, she it was sand blest stuff. I will say. The recovery time was very quick for her. That's what I need to talk to

you about. She told me I could make the recovery time four days or two weeks. I'm like, that's like when you go into a drug store and there's used infection cure and it's like, you have a used infection. They're like, okay, here's monost at seven for seven days, and here's the one day. It's like, why the fuck what I want to go on? That needs to be a quick rapper days. Why wouldn't you take the fucking one off? It's so stupid anyway, so we'll we'll talk

about that. I don't know. She said I should do it to my upper eyes and lower eyes to make the skin a little bit tighter there. But that not my bravery story. That's just me, you know, being vain. I left there and I was in Beverly Hills, which I really don't enjoy being in because it's just only in the mornings. In the afternoons, there's just it's just too much for me. Anyway, I thought, I'm so sick

of looking at my purse. This is my opportunity to go to Neimans and get a new purse, because the purse is something that I can't have another person buy for me. So I I fucking hate shopping. I don't do it. I don't want to do it, and there's nothing of interest to be about it. I wish I could say it interested me, just to appease some of my friends who like to talk about that sort of thing. But I can't get into it. So but I said to myself, I was like, you can't do this, like

you're an adult. You can go there. It's only ten thirty, it won't be crowded, like you know exactly where you go. I always just go straight to the same brand that I always buy, which is not worth mentioning. And I go and I went in and I was like, this is fine, this is fine. You have to go to the bathroom by the time you give them the credit card to do that transaction, which for some reason takes an inordinate amount of time close to minutes to ring

up a purse. I'm not sure what. And then she was wrapping, I was like, please, I just want to put everything in my old purse in this purse, and you can take this and throw it in the garbage. And I hope that's what she did, or maybe somebody wanted it. I doubt it. It was so ugly and beat up, but you did it anyway. That was my confidence.

I don't really think that applies to what we're talking about, but that was I needed to have the confidence that I could go in as finish the task and accomplish the task without being annoyed that I had to go into You know, well, I would argue that it does align with it because it's we've talked about this as well, that you have to do those little things that make you uncomfortable because it's filling your confidence bank. Okay, well, I think my confidence bank is pretty full, So let's

fill some other people's confidence banks. All right, Well, let's start with Meg. She is thirty years old. She writes, Dear Chelsea, one of the things I love about you is how confident you come across. This is something i've always struggled with so I've tried to become an nudist in private to try and be more confident. I know you sometimes post naked post on social media, so I was wondering if you had any advice and if being naked could help my confidence. Lots of love, Meg, Yeah,

I think so. I think there is something to being naked, Hi Meg, or No, she's not okay. It's like, I still don't understand what we're doing here. I know the other day you exited off of our zoom that we need for this because you just I thought that was how you said goodbye. You just wanted to get get

it wrapped up. Yes, I think there is a lot of confidence that comes with nudity and also accepting your flaws, right because I have cellulite, I have all the things that like girls don't like to have, and then you start to look at it and you're like, oh, this is kind of part of my life. I mean, I work out and I'm very vain and I'm into being

fit and all of that too. So but it's all like a nice package, and there is something very liberating about walking around nude and kind of like really loving on yourself and loving your body because it's really the only one you've got, so you might as well start to enjoy it, right right. You know who does a great job with this is Lizzo Yeah, and Ashley Graham. Yes, yeah.

I think that there needs to be more of that because this is a good practice to put in place, because I think the more you see what you feel as a flaw, the more normalized it becomes, so it's not something that seems so out of place because your clothes so often. So I guess the more you could be nude to assess and accept your body as it is,

the more confident you could become. Yes, agreed, absolutely. I think also we tend to fixate sometimes on partions of our body, like you have been doing with your lower ab thing popping out. We fixate on things, and I certainly do the same thing, and then all of a sudden you get over it somehow. I used to fixate on this, like I have this like tiny little dimple on my arm, and I was psychotic about it. I remember when I was like on Chelsea lately, like I'd

be like, can you see that dimple? Can you see that dimple? I still have that dimple on my arm, but I don't even give a shit about it, and more because I just got over it. So when you are fixated on certain things in your body, it's good to try to like push through to the other side and accept it so that attention can go elsewhere towards like positive vibes, towards yourself, rather than being like, oh, I fucking hate this part of my body. It's like,

you're healthy, you're strong, and you're getting stronger. If you're working towards, you know, getting stronger. Well, I think part of that is also investing energy into the things that you have or the things that you can enhance. So like you have an insane amount of ab strength, you're just a strong woman. Here we go, sweethearts, jealous of my ab strength and this has always been it with you.

I just think that if you can re apply that energy into other areas, Like for me, maybe my abs are never going to be what I want them to be. But for whatever reason, my chest grows really quickly, and I guess a lot of men have. I would like my chest to be as big as yours, so I'll keep working on that. But I think also it's just reapplying that purpose and energy into something else, like, don't focus and I'm you know, I'm saying this because I'm

working on this as well. Don't focus on the things that your body is not doing for you, focus on the things that it is doing. Yeah, there you go. Problem solved. Thanks Meg. Okay, let's go to break for a second so that we can gather and collect ourselves and come back fuller and stronger and more voluptuous. Okay, what's our next submission, Brandon? Our next submission comes from Brittany Spears. We need to talk to her. Well, actually we need to talk to like her dad says she

has dementia. He has fucking dementia. Fuck her father. Fuck Britney Spears father. Give her to her mother. If somebody's gonna have a she's gonna have a conservator, let it be her mother. She needs a maternal character. Yeah, seriously, I mean, she's got dementia. Maybe because people lobotomized her, could be probably rejected her with dementia? Is that? Poor girl?

Poor girl? You know what, I don't want to have a child, But if somebody said you have to take care of Britney Spears, I fucking would and she probably thrive under your way. Yeah, well, she would get all the help she needs, and she would be allowed to do what she wants when she wants, and figure out a way for her to get back together with her children. She doesn't even see her children. There's a much different priority in place now for younger stars and their mental health.

Like I think a lot of them are kind of forced to see a therapist and forced to take time. They're not workhorses like she was. So it's really interesting to see the Ariana Grande is a Demilovado's Taylor Swifts, who I think have a better foundation for kind of a work life balance even though they seem to be working all the Yeah, I mean, Justin Bieber kind of lost his way. He didn't get at fifty put on him and put in a mental hospital like this happens to guys too, so sexist. On top of it, I

would love a man in charge of a girl. Thank god he's stepping down, Good riddance, Thank you for listening. Well, I mean, I'm not part of the free Brittney tribe, even though I believe in the free Brittney tribe. So thank thank God for the sitting period and on their behalf and on Britney's behalf. Where were we, Brandon, We're with Brittany. Brittany is out of Miami. She's twenty three. She's on the phone. Her submission says, Dear Chelsea, I've

always admired you because of your confidence. I'm very much the same way when it comes to my personal life. I have the confidence of a six eight m v P n B. A player that's aboutful. The problem is, now that I am transitioning into adulthood, I realized that I don't have the same confidence in my professional life. I'm currently applying for grad school for film and video production. I know it is a male dominated profession and I

shouldn't let that shake me, but it does. Any advice for a young woman going into a male dominated industry, Thanks Brittany. Brittany, Hi, hi, bt So tell us about how do you feel like you're lacking confidence lately as comparable to your previous life. Yeah. I think it's just a mixture of being young and having no experience in the field I want to go into and knowing that like I'm a Latina woman going into this very male

doated industry. And so I find that a little nerve wracking, I guess, even though like in my personal life, I've always never let any of that shake me. Um. I know, even underestimated for being a woman, for being Latina, for being all these things, but it's never gotten to me. And I think it's also the transition of going from being a student my whole life to actually being a professional adult. And so yeah, I think that's my main issue.

And what light of work are you in? She's going to grad school for film and video production, right, Okay, Well, I would say right off the bat, you're in an advantageous position right now. You're Latina. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. Everyone is being forced to recognize Latino X people when they're interviewing for jobs in a way that they haven't been before. And that includes all the men that you're intimidated by, So they actually should

be intimidated by you. So you just need to bring it because you know what I mean, They are listening and you have an advantage to go in there and just knock their socks off. Sorry to use that expression, I sound like my father, but I couldn't think of anything better. Sometimes I sound like I'm elderly, sweetheart. Well you're entering that stage of life. I am transitioning into

an elderly woman. But anyway, Brittany, Yeah, you should have all the confidence in the world because you have to use this moment in time is unique for all marginalized communities. You have an advantage now, I know it. Probably I can't say that across the board because a lot of

people are trying to implement that advantage. But you're going to end up at a place that is actually serious about making change in their company, and so you should use that in accompaniment with your skills, with everything that you're learning in school, like you're ready to hit a

home run. So I don't know what the problem is. Yeah, I think the mixture of the pressure of like, yeah, all that change is happening, and now I'm being thrown in to that change and to be one of the first Growing up, all I saw was especially in the

industry acting. I never even knew there's a hole behind the scenes side of this career, and I didn't realize that tool was older, and so all I knew was the latina was the nanny, the maid, the gangster's girlfriend, and like how I was portrayed in that industry kind of took me aback a bit, and so I was like,

why is this something I want to go into? And then I think now, like I have a chance to make that difference, to be the person behind the scenes to make that recognition, and I think the pressure of that also might be Yeah, but what a great motivator. You're looking at it as pressure, where it's just such a great boost you know what I mean, It's a

boost in like you're going to set the tone. Yeah, it's a huge responsibility, but go in there and make every every Latina girl proud of you and paved the way for them to follow in your footsteps. Huge opportunity here, Brandon. Yeah. Well, and some people can perform and thrive under pressure, and i've you're one of those people. I think so too. I think you need to believe that you're one of those people first, So you just need to accept that for what it is. The pressure is not a bad thing.

The pressure, like Chelsea said, is going to motivate you to do your best to get the representation for the community that you weren't fortunate enough to see. Like the momentum is working in your favor right now. And I don't know exactly what you want to do, but I just want to tell you about someone that we both work with. Her name is Darling Higgins, and she is one of the most like respected people in her field.

She works behind the scenes. She is Venezuelan. She is a bad ass bitch, and she does not take she does not take ship from anyone, and she is the best at her job. Like people seek her out and you don't know her, but like the example that she sets for other women in the industry that you can do anything you want to do and you can be that for someone else. So that's what you need to remember, is that just because you've not seen it or you've not had it, doesn't mean you're not going to be

that for someone else. So take that responsibility and run with it, like you're going to thrive. Yes, you are going to thrive. I aready know this. But the other thing is yes to just piggyback on what Brandon said is that when you don't have the strength for yourself, think about the girls that are going to come behind you, you know, think about having the strength for them, and then it becomes so easy yeah, I mean that makes a lot of sense. I've known this, like I know this,

like this makes sense to me. I've always been this way as a student and as a person in my friend group, and I think now I need to transfer that over to your professional life. Well, I think in your youth too, We've talked about this. Everyone has a misplaced amount of confidence. So now you just kind of you just kind of have to reassess that and compartmentalize it into what you're doing now. So you know that you have that confidence within you, you you just need to

apply it as you move forward professionally. Like it's still there, It's still in you, it's inherent. So don't let it fall to the waistide just because you're going into something a little bit unknown, like, if anything, let it give

you the extra boosts that you need. M Yeah, you just need to calibrate our previous confidence, which is more of a naive confidence, right, your previous confidence with all the skills that you're learning and the education that you've gotten, and combine those two things and then you have all the tools that you need to power through this and to you know, emerge victorious and to set a great example along the way like, it's so much to look forward to. I'm excited for you. Thank you. Please keep

us posted, let us know how it goes. Yeah for sure, I'll be starting in the fall. So so where are you starting? Do you know what? Like? Well, grad school you're starting? Yeah, yeah, okay, Well that's gonna be fun too, grad school. Good for you. Congratulations, thank you, thank you, Brittany, Thank you for having me. Brittany. Oh god, I look like Nicknolty again. Um yes, actually, oh my god, it's so funny you say that because I was driving this morning and I was like, God, I'd like to go

take some classes at college. You should find out. But I would actually ever go. But why not? Because I don't want to be in a classroom with a bunch of people. I don't know why. You love people, I know, but I just don't. I don't want that kind of attention. I think you should have that sort of life experience. I think that it would mean a lot to you want to send me away to college, Sweeter. I just think it would mean a lot to you to be able to go and get an education, because you are.

You are so self educated that I really do think that even if you do it later in life. Like there was this woman. I think she went to a s U I can't remember, but she was one and she graduated with her granddaughter. Maybe we could go back to school together. Maybe I should grit well, I first of all, if I'm going to have a granddaughter, I need to have a daughter first. And if I'm going to graduate from college with my granddaughter, I think it's

a little light. Well, no, we still have time. Okay, listen, the doctor said, my eggs are really strong or whatever they are. I don't know how many eggs I have, but apparently they're swimming fast or is that sperm that spermops? So if I have baby now forty six, okay, forty I would have to get pregnant, and then the pregnancy would have to take, which it will because it's so fucking fertile. Okay, so then I have a baby plus

eighteen equals sixty six. If I have a baby and I can engineer it to be a girl, forced her to have another baby by the time I'm sixty five, I can have a granddaughter and then another eighteen years. Okay, I'm gonna have to have my daughter have a baby earlier than well. I think that you we could skip a few of these steps. You adopt like a latent life foster, like Britney spears. Yes, perfect. She already has kids, so you congraduate with one of her kids, with Preston.

She has one named Preston. I know that for say, great problem solved. Okay, I've called into the podcast. You still can. Our next mission comes from Melissa. She's forty six out of Toronto. She is a travel radio host. A travel radio host, I wonder if that means that she traveled or her radio shows about travel. We'll find out. Her question is, Dear Chelsea, I was caught between the working world and all of its perks and saying scrutous city life and living closer to the outdoors, making less

money and throwing caution to the wind. We are the same age. I'm ready for a change. I love to travel, I love adventures. I have multiple talents that I use in my non financial passion projects as a writer, podcaster, and interviewer. But I haven't figured out my entrepreneurial angle that will enable me to give the big middle finger to corporate life. What do I do? Do we have Melissa yeah, Hi, Hi, how's it going. It's going. How's it going with you? I am not too bad? That

is always a good sign, right. So are you in Canada? Yes, I'm in Toronto, Okay. And you have a traveling radio show? What does that mean? So about five years ago I started a show called Fly Travel Radio. So it's on a community radio station, but it's also a podcast. So I'm basically a un woman operation. I created it. I'm the host, interviewer, editor, all the above, all of it.

So that's my passion project. On the side, though in my nine to five I work at a university, so I'm in like project event program management and like the golden handcuff job. Right, So you have good pay, good benefits, good perks, but it's not fulfilling your soul or your destiny or anything like that. So it gets to be a hard time, right when you're like, do you stay for the security or do you create your own path and bolt and just like find your own freedom. And

I talk a lot in my show. I meet all these people who have done that, Right, They've left like traditional nine to fives and they have location independent businesses. So if you wanted to go and live in Costa Rica for three months. You can go and do that if your laptop is with you, or live in a ski town for a winter. Right. It's like that freedom and that ability to control your own life. Right. So a couple of questions, Are you in a relationship? Yes? I am, okay, So what does that mean to you?

Does that something you're willing to give up and leave or are you willing are is that person coming with you? No, he would come with me. He's also pursuing voice work and he's a huge traveler as well, so that we share together. Oh well, that's even better. That's a fun time for an adventure. You have a couple, like somebody you want to do it with that feels like yeah. I mean, I'm all about taking a leap of faith. So I would encourage anyone to just, you know, be

able to go out and see the world. You could do your one man operation, your one woman operation from wherever, right, you can do your podcast and radio show from wherever you are in the world. Absolutely, it's just it's an

all volunteer, right. So it's more that I have to create a business that's uh lucrative where there's some cash because you know, right, so you have to go somewhere and find another job and you don't really know what you want to do, right, Actually, you know what I'm I have a lot of things, like I'm I can write, like an interview, I am good at people manage, minute, project management. There's a lot of things in my wheelhouse. I just have to figure out how to monetize it.

And uh, yeah, like when you're forty six, right, you have this it's a dividing line where you're like, do you bolt or do you just suck it up for a few more years? But I'm pretty sure it's you know, life is short and there's always a chapter for new a new way to live. So that's where we're at. Yeah, that's the right attitude. I think that's my attitude. I don't want to suck anything up, you know what I mean?

I really just don't. I don't want to. And if you have the ability to not do it, you have money saved where you could go somewhere and like, like, could you bounce around the world for three or six months and find a place that you really like and then worry about getting a job. Do you have that that kind of savings or no, yeah, yeah, I do yeah, yeah, son, I think you have your answer. I mean you need to get after it. It's true, it's true. What do

you think. I think you need to embrace the unknown. I think that this last year has really shown a lot of people that time is of the essence, Like you have to get out and do the things you want to do now because we don't know what's coming. And there are a lot of options for online work right now that you can just contract in for. Like there's I keep seeing this website for people to type out closed captioning because everyone is in need of close

captioning now for inclusivity. And you get paid by the words. So some people are making like fi per post that they close caption so there, yeah, there. They will send you, they will send you the video and you have to transcribe it. So I just think that there are a lot of ways now to make money remotely. You can work for Apple remotely. You can do the Apple care services. I used to work for Apple, so I know that, and they pay great and you can kind of set

your hours for that. So again, if it's just about getting out and having your own schedule and being on your own time. There are a lot of ways to do that now. Yeah, yeah, I would agree. I think quarantine and COVID have have Broughten all Broughten I just said, I said, Broughten, don't do the transcribing. Yeah, maybe I won't do the transcribing. I mean here I am a

regular words smith, constantly sucking up my words. Yeah, I mean there are that it's been brought to light that you can now pretty much do almost everything from home, you know. I mean so many more places and companies that are opening up to this, and there are so many little loopholes. For example, in Costa Rica, they just passed legislation to attract more digital nomads. They change the law so you wouldn't have to renew your tourist visa for your year, with the option of renewing for a

second year versus every three months. So now you'll also be able to legally drive using your driver's license from your own country and open a bank account in Costa Rica, which is pretty great. So there's no shortage of opportunities.

It's just about finding the right opportunities. It's kind of analogous to getting scholarships at schools, like there's all these ins and outs for every university to get funding or to get help with scholarships or housing money like you know, and there are people who specialize in telling students, oh, this is how you can save money. Here, you can get this loan. People just don't know how to use

lies all those services. I was just having a conversation with somebody yesterday and she's like, oh my god, you can almost get everything paid for. You just have to have somebody who knows their way around it. But I think that applies to so many things in life. There are so many avenues to get revenue and ways to accrue revenue that you don't even know about just yet. So if you did spend some time researching that, I'm sure you'd come up with something that kind of fits

your skill set well. It's also it's also not permanent, so like just as if you wanted to go away for three or six months, even a year, if you have the means to do that, you can always go back. Like you're obviously articulate and skilled in your field, so I don't think you have a problem getting a job back. But if you don't ever take the step to kind of put yourself out of your comfort zone. You're gonna wonder. So absolutely totally. The other thing that goes with this

is that you're pregnant. Yeah, totally forty six loving it. No, I'm not. I'm trying to get pregnant right now. It's not easy my thoughts. Yeah, I have organize this year off with my employer. Right, But if you do that, it's like I get out of jail free card for a year because you can go, but you have to come back to like this job. So this is like also part of the dilemma where I'm just like, yeah, I'm done. Yeah, well I think that's your answer. You're done, right,

you know your answer? I do. Yeah. Well, it seems like you solved your own issue. Well it was really helpful. Thank you very much. Okay, thanks talking to you. Yeah you too. Take care. Another problem solved, sweetheart. People just want to be transients. That's what I've realized. Everyone is searching for a way to not have a normal job. I know, I know, it's just so nice to have freedom,

you know, to have be free. Like even my sister she works all day long on zooms one zoom and then another's room, and it's all about healthcare and like biotech, and I mean, I don't know how she does it, and you know she takes her job seriously. Obviously I don't, but you know, she could basically do it from anywhere. But now they're talking about everyone going back into the office, so now she's like, I've got to go everywhere I could go now before they're requiring us to be back,

so she can do it from wherever. I don't know. I don't know why people are doing that, but I guess there is something to be said, obviously for socializing and having a network of people in an office working towards the same goal or a common goal. And you know, there is a camaraderie in that. You can't deny that, but it should be up to the individual if they want to be involved in that kind of chicanery, because a lot of people don't want to be around other people.

I wonder how that will work with television is the way of the future. I mean, I feel like they got so good at producing things remotely that there's not really Like Drew Barrymore her show, they basically teleport guests in so people don't you have to show up anywhere, and it looks great. Yeah, it looks like you're sitting right next to her. I think I did it, didn't I it was zoom yours was a zoom but you had the option. It didn't work out. But yeah, it seems like there are going to be a lot of

ways to get people so working together remotely. There is a platform where they set up an artificial office space and you can click on people's rooms like you're walking into their office and it will start their camera. Like you have to allow for that to happen, but you set certain office hours so you know people are there working as a team. And you can use this online grid too immediately contact people like as if you were just walking right through the door. Oh that's so cool,

they're there. Do that with my bell at the house so that you don't have to see her, No, so that she doesn't have to see me. Well, she would love that, I know. That's what I'm trying to do is help her enjoy herself more without me there. She sees me and she's just like fuck. So what do you think about Ellen showing? Do you think it's time just as just as a creative person that like you hit your mark with Chelsea lately and then you could

not do it anymore. No, no, but I have a short I have a very short tolerance attention doing it almost twenty years. Yeah, yeah, no, it's time. I mean, anytime you end something, then that's the time it should end well. And you said recently that you would possibly be interested in going back into interviewing people. You want me to be Ellen's replacement, I would love if you. I think that should go to a woman of color, quite honestly. Well, I love your interview style and I

think a lot of people do and miss it. Sweetheart, you're all over me today. Oh my god, you forget. I was a fan first, and sometimes that comes out. But now you think that you could do it again, you could stumps And I don't know. I don't know. I say things and I don't know, and necessarily if I've thought things through, I mean, yeah, I would be open to a conversation about hosting a TV show again.

But I know what my limits are, and I know what my attention span is, and I'm not going to be tied to onto a short, yes short, and I'm not gonna be tied down to being in a studio five days a week like that wouldn't be my cup of tea. I don't want to go to through that again. And I don't like having a staff of a hundred people. So like when I hosted Ellen's show, which it was a great time, but that's because it was I walking into a well oiled machine. Everything was set up for you.

It's not building the show. There's no sense of responsibility other than the episodes im on, you know, like it comes with a whole package, so it is a deeper, more thoughtful I would have to really think about that. But anyway, that show, specifically, if they're going to keep it, should go to a black or Asian or Latino woman.

You heard it here first, you guys. That out of the way, Okay, So we are going to take a break right now and gather our emotions and you come back and we're gonna be fresher, fresh as a daisy. That's me. Bye. Today's episode I think is about confidence, right, It's it's about keeping confidence, keeping someone's confidence, or it's about having confidence. So it's kind of like a twofold episode. Well twofold meaning I should say it's not a twofold episode.

I don't even know what I'm talking about, but keeping someone's confidence and having someone's confidence, those even are nuanced, and then also being confident. And I like the subject of discussion because I think it's really contagious when people understand how to instill their own self confidence and keeping someone's confidence. I don't know how I would rate my performance on that. I try and keep secrets. I mean, I'm pretty good about it. I try not to tell

secrets other people's secrets. Confidence is a subject matter that I always love to talk about because I just think it's so important and obviously it makes a difference in your life because when you are confident, people respect that and they understand that, and like, you know, you set a different set of parameters for people to deal with you. So it's in everybody's best interest to figure out ways to kind of, you know, talk yourself up to yourself,

all right. Our final submission comes oh to Double Duo. It is Ashley and Courtney. They write they are not on the phone, Dear Chelsea, My girlfriend and I are trying to resolve the sexual tension between one of our best friends and one of our new friends who also happens to be her roommate. Okay, so this is gonna be some We're going to pieces together. Maybe I'm going

to start drawing a picture. Our best friend is afraid to tell her of her deep love because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship, but we secretly want them to be together and truly cannot stand the tension. It's slightly complicated because the new friend slash roommate is casually sleeping with someone but has been clear that they aren't exclusive, and also keeps trying to hold onto our best friend's hand. Should we spill the secret during a drunken night to

get it over with? We need help? Yeah, I totally get it out. You guys have to go tell that girl, the one that she has a crush on. You have to find out is she into it, is she down with her? Is she interested in her? And if she is, like, let's get a move on. So, as friends, go help your one friend out, go to the other girl, the roommate, and figure it out. And if she's down, then don't get it twisted. So that was easy. That that was really in your wheelhouse today. Set hurt sometimes people. I

think this is how I feel about friendship. I feel like, you want to take the liberty to go out of your way to help your friends succeed. So all friends should be that kind of friend. I know some people aren't like that. They're like, oh, I don't want to overstep. It's like no, no, no, there's no such thing when you're trying to help somebody achieve something like my friend and Whistler worked very, very very hard to get me penetrated. She was like, you will not leave Whistler this winter

until you get penetrated. And I was like, thank you. I'm like, I really appreciate your efforts on my behalf. You know. She she would just to take no for an answer, and every guy that she presented, if I didn't like him, She's like, Okay, no problem, I'll find someone else. I'll find someone else. And then finally she did find somebody that I was able to be penetrated by a few times. So that to me was such

a display. Talk about the marble jar, right, talk about putting marbles in the marble jar and saying, oh wow, that friend went out of her way for me to a degree that I haven't had a friend do that for me in a really long time. And I was really appreciative of that. So we've talked about the marble jar before, but I love it. It's burn A Brown

wrote about it or spoke about it first. How friendship is a marble jar and how people add to the marble jar with every act of kindness or love or reliability or whatever you know you value in your friendships. Every time they do something or you have a great time, there's more marbles. And anytime they do something that you

don't like, a marble gets taken out. But if you have a great friendship, there are so many marbles in the jar that nothing can break that you're never going to be low marble's it's like laying a foundation, basically, And I love it because it's so true and so many of my relationships, Like you don't leave a relationship when the marble jar is full anyway, that's the marble jar. So you know that makes me also want to go

out of my way for her. But I think she has a husband, so it probably won't be penetration, right, but I can go out of my way for her in other ways. And but that to me is a real, real true friend. People like to make things way more complicated than they need to be I've realized through some of these emissions like that to me seemed very simple. You go to and you don't have to be drunk.

You go to your friends, say this is what's going on, just like full transparency, so you can set reasonable expectations for yourself. Don't let her go into these things unknowingly, you know, interacting when you're aware of a circumstance. And also even if it turns into a messy situation. It sounds like they're younger, right, probably, Yeah, even if it turns into a messier situation like okay, so they hook up and then it ends badly, that's what your twenties are.

Four fucked living arrangements. I mean, I've supped with roommates before and it hasn't ended well, Like it's all kind of part of it. So it's not like there's huge steaks. I guess apartments do sound like the huge steaks. But I would say that's no fun. It's fun to you know, experiment, especially with your roommates, and yeah, go for it. Well that's convenience right there. Yeah, that is convenience because you imagine in a success story like the Good if it

doesn't work out, that sucks. But if it does work out, that's awesome. Yeah, you can send them back to their room after getting penetrated. That seems nice. The moral of the episode is that everybody needs to tell themselves something good about yourselves every fucking morning when you wake up, and then keep repeating that. If you like your eyelashes, start there. If you like your hair, your ears, your boobs or your arm, whatever it is, your personality. I said,

all physical things, that's terrible. I mean, if you like your ability to remember name, that's a good one. Things that people like, If you have an ability to make people laugh, right, or if you are somebody who is really really loyal, you know, focus on that. Just everybody needs to remember that they're valuable and that they're unique, and that there is no one else on this earth that is exactly like you. So bring it. And that's

all I have to say about that. Okay, I've made my opinions and declarations loud clear, and I'm sick of them. As our season finale wraps up today, in this episode, I'm feeling large amounts of gratitude for this unexpected podcast for me, because I didn't really set out for it to be serious. As serious as it is, I hope that it's funny to all of you people as well, because I do want to make you laugh. But I thought it would be more funny and less serious, and

it's become more serious. So I am really like pleasantly surprised by that and not disappointed at all. It's like

totally unexpected for me to go in that direction. And I just love the challenge and I love really having this connection with people because I really have seen so many people just kind of trust me, and I want you to know, like I do have your back, That's what I'm doing I And I'm so grateful that people are taking our advice and also doubling back with us to recheck in is so meaningful because we have a

measurable stick of progress. And also for all of our callers, I just want to remind you that if you've called in and we've helped you, please follow up with us. I love to hear follow up calls. I love to hear progress reports, see how you're doing. If you guys don't remember, Shane was one of our follow up callers who called back who had taken a week off of smoking or a month off of smoking pot with me. We both did it together, and then he came out to his family as trans and his whole life is

different now. So we want to hear from you about the progress that you've made. And when I said keep in touch, I mean in it. So we will be coming right back with season two. We will not leave you hanging. We will be dropping little nuggets for you, so look out for them please. And Brandon is moving on to a new job and so he will no longer be with us, but I want to thank him very much for helping to get this podcast off the

ground and starting it with such a bang. I'm going to have a variety of different co hosts come in, people who are experts in certain fields and friends of mine, and I look forward to keeping this podcast going. Um loving it you guys, So thank you so much to all of our listeners. And I hope you keep listening and that you spread the word and you spread the good vibes and that we all know that everybody's always dealing with something, so just try not to be an asshole. Goodbye,

have a great day. If you want any assistance with your partner, your best friend, really anything you can write into. Dear a Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Also, I am on tour. You can buy tickets a ticket Master for my shows and I can't fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and a horny, So make sure that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nows and then keep them to yourself, please,