Hello, Hello listeners. It's Chelsea hand Job and Catherine.
Hi.
We're sitting in my new house actually with a new setup, with a new setup. We're trying to make a new setup. Everything's everything's a work in progress here.
It's true.
I'm here in town. I've been here for two days. It's crazy.
What was the same place for two whole days?
Two old days.
Tomorrow I'm going to Auburn, Washington to the Muckleshoot Casino to perform. And then Friday night I have a show and Santa Rosa at the Luther Burbank Center for the Arts.
There's still tickets for that show.
And then Santa Barbara Bawls August seventeenth, there are still tickets for that show. And then my Vegas residency starts on September first.
How exciting.
Oh September first, November two, and November thirtieth on my first three dates.
Excellent.
So yeah, we're taking all my friends are trying to turn it into a big party. I'll bet, so that's fun. My friend Karen who runs my life, was like, they want to know if you're bringing Doug to Vegas.
I'm like, I don't really see that happening.
Why would Doug want to go to Vegas just to urinate inside the hotel room. Maybe, but he's not interested in going to Vegas, so I mean he's interested in me, so that's good enough. But yeah, I'm not gonna put him in that heat. That would be abusive. And everyone knows how professional I am as a dog owner. They may take drugs accidentally once in a while, but I do not abuse these dogs.
Okay, it's not intentional.
No, nothing is intentional, Chelsea.
We have a really exciting guest today.
I know he's really funny and he has a very very funny delivery. We've been having a lot of comedians on because it's more fun, I think, Yeah, but we still keep it mixed up. We have a really cool doctor coming up that I'm excited about, whose book.
I want to read.
But today our guest has a podcast called Getting Better and he is always on a constant journey to better himself. So I love when a male comics are up to that. And his TV show Loot isn't its second season which now streams on Apple TV Plus. So please welcome actor and stand up ron Funches. Okay, we're here with mister Funches himself, mister Ron Funches is sitting right next to me in my studio, face to face in what Sherman Oaks?
Is that where we are with the area.
I used to live in this area. I'm very familiar with this area.
How build up this community?
I love this community. I love going to show my nose Castle Park. If you're looking for a good way to spend the day playing mini.
Golf, Oh are you good at mini golf?
I'm getting way better, way better than.
Hey, Catherine.
I can hear those pages turning very loudly for some reason in my ear.
It's like a M S A R. What's it called?
A ms r ASSM? What is a ms r asm automatic? Psycho Suki? Do you like that?
A M S R ASMR No?
I think it's gross. I don't like it.
Isn't it so weird? What everyone's into these days?
Like when people want to hear the sound of food being chewed and certain types of food being cooked, You're like.
What, Yeah, a lot of kinks, a lot of weird, right, have.
Time to come up with kinks like that? Me sitting around like what the fuck can I think about next? And it's like I want to hear eggs hitting a frying fan.
I'm just stick to butts and boobs. I'm not I'm cool with that.
How are buts and boobs working out for you?
Oh?
You know? It depends on the day.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
Sometimes you're happy with them, sometimes you're like they're going to be the Definitely.
Have you been in a long term relationship?
I have. I've been married twice.
How long was each marriage?
One marriage was seven years and the other marriage was two years?
Okay, so seven years and two years? And would you get married for a third time?
I don't think so.
I don't think so either. Quite frankly, I think you might need to put a pin in it, Like, if you can't figure it out twice, don't try the third time. Right, it's embarrassing when people have more than.
Two ex wives, I think so. I mean two ex wives isn't not embarrassing?
No, I don't. If anything, it makes me feel like old school wealthy.
Oh oh right, right, yeah I can see that. Yeah that's exactly what I thought when you said that.
Yeah yeah, yeah, like an oil bear.
What a mollifluous sounding voice you have. Thank you yes, very you should do good night stories like on Calm, like.
That that meditation app. Do you meditate?
Yes?
Oh really, but I can.
I have a room for it. I don't use it.
You have a whole meditation room that you don't use.
I'm doing well. I have two xyves.
Oh yeah, well that meditation is paying off, right, they're both meditating.
I bet.
Yeah, so you do meditate? Oh okay, I thought you were against meditation.
No reason.
Do you see the tassels on my shoe?
Oh I know.
I thought that I'm gonna meditate?
Oh okay, so that anytime it could happen.
Yeah.
Now, how did you get in touch with yourself to start meditating?
Okay? Like my spiritual side where it does come from? Probably living in Oregon. I moved around Oregon a bunch. And if you do that, you're gonna meet a lot of hippie women, wicking women, and people who do tarot and crystals, and if you want to sleep with them, you're going to be open and listen. Yeah.
Yeah, I usually you have to be open for sure if you want to sleep with people.
Yeah, you can't be closed off.
No, it doesn't work maybe once, yeah, yeah, but I'm not you know, I'm not the like one night stand, So I'm a charmer.
I got get you in and then you'd never want to leave.
It takes time, though, to get the girl to come in. Right.
How long do you think it takes you to get a woman to start to understand that it's going to be better with you?
About probably two weeks, maybe three dates, four dates? If I get you on a fourth date. Yeah, you'll know.
Rico Swase, I love it. Very confident in your own abilities.
Well, I just know I'm a good person and self aware. Yeah, you could do a lot worse than me.
Yeah, so that's how you got in touch with your spirituality by hanging out with those women.
Yeah, that's cool totally. I mean, a terror reading is why I got started in comedy. I had always want to do it. I did a terror reading on a Halloween party and the reader was just like, you want to work in entertainment, You're waiting for it to come to you. You need to put into work. And it really like shook me and I you know, didn't listen for about another year, but then I did.
Oh wow, yeah I think that stuff. I got an energy clearing yesterday and when I left there, I was like, yeah, you know, some of the stuff was like I didn't feel any sort of overwhelming feeling, like I didn't feel like energy was being released or moving around my body.
So I was disappointed on that aspect. But she had done an energy clearing in my house, my new house, and it needed one, so I thought she could do an energy clearing on me too, And I was like, I think all of that matters is that you have to believe what you're doing, right, Like, in order for it to have an effect on you in a positive way, you need to believe that it's true.
Yeah.
I'm a big believer in the power of your thoughts, and that's what I don't really subscribe to negative self talk. I think our minds are much more powerful than we give them credit for. And if you can create your reality with your mind, and so if you believe in certain things, I think that they are more likely to happen for you to be true.
Right. So you don't believe in negativity, right.
I do believe in negativity, Yeah, practicing it, I don't like, Yeah.
But it's there, I've seen it.
But you don't believe in practicing negativity? Like, you're not into negative patterns of behavior. What would you say to people? Because people listen to this podcast for like kind of spiritual advice and regular life advice and like an outside perspective, But one of the most common things is like, how to get that negative voice out of your own head? Not about other people, about yourself. Yeah, and what would you say to that? How what has been your experience with your negative voice?
Oh, you just have to be very on top of it and just immediately self correct is what I tried to do. For me. It mostly comes up with eating and overeating or doing something that I was like, Oh, I shouldn't have eaten that, and I'll find myself being like, oh, you fat idiot, and then I'll stop myself and be like, that's not going to make me feel better. You're working hard, you're tired, you're beautiful, and you're worth the effort to not have those things, and so you worth the effort
to go work out. So that's why you need to do it, not because you're a big fat dummy, because you're a beautiful, chubby stallion.
Yes, I love that. That's so cute.
Thank you.
That's great. That's great advice.
For everybody, because you kind of have to start like a love affair with yourself. Truly, you really have to fall in love with yourself and be like, oh my god, these are the best things about me.
And when you feel like you're at your best and you're pumping.
High and like the vibes are flowing, you're like, oh, there's no better, more grounded feeling than being like at your best.
Yeah. So many people, I think, especially ladies that I know, afraid to be selfish, and I think that it's always given such a negative connotation. But I think taking care of yourself, working out, putting your whatever quality things of life that you need, like for me, like getting my nails done, getting my feet done, And if you don't do that, you don't have those selfish things for yourself, you're not like able to do more for other people. So I just believe you have to be selfish in
this world. Yeah, And sometimes we just put a negative connotation on words that are actually good for us.
Right, I agree with that.
Why do you think that women are particularly have such a hard time being selfish?
Ah?
Because I think that culturally just always taught to give, always taught to be a giver, always thought to be a caretaker, look out for others before yourself.
Yeah, you got a confuse You're like, is that a maternal instinct or is that just societal standards that have been established over millennia. Because there is a maternal instinct, but there has got to be a paternal instinct as well, which some men seem to have and some men don't.
Seem to happen. Oh for sure, do you have a paternal instinct?
Oh?
Yeah, I mean I've spent most of my life being a dad. I've been a dad for twenty years so and I have a twenty one year old and a two year old now, and my best part of my life is being a dad because it's nice to have someone who cares about the base level of what I do. They care more about making sure I take care of him, that I spend time with him, that I push him on the swing. He doesn't care about like specials or
shows that I'm on or things like that. I think that that having that base level of love and also responsibility has been a big balance for me and I appreciate that.
And did it come naturally to you being paternal? Was that a natural instinct of yours when you had both of your children.
I don't know if I would call it natural. I just think it was out of necessity, especially what my older son. I had him so young, and it just kind of shifted. Before I met him, I was just kind of taking gravity bong hits and laying on floors and not having any type of focus and just cruising
them through life. And he gave me focus. And then eventually I had to get so custody of him when he was an early teenager, and that I don't think was as natural, where I had to kind of freak out and figure out how I was going to balance both trying to I mean, at that time, I just started getting acting roles and stuff and figuring out how I was going to do that and have him full time and enroll him in school out here in LA and stuff was very difficult, but I got help from my mom and people.
Wow, Yeah, that's tough stuff because you're doing like your parenting for two people.
Yeah. Yeah, it is definitely, and it's always fun because I think it's one of the most unassumed things when it comes to male parenting. Whenever people who know I have kids They're always are like, well, where where is
your older son? Like he's at home with me because he lives with me, and I get it's not the normal, but it's always seemed so dismissive when they're like just when you were like, oh no, I'm to love being a dad, and they just assume that means that I see my son every two weeks or something.
Uh interesting.
Yeah, and so what was your first big like what do you remember your first big break in comedy being.
Conan O'Brien show, Just being on Conan grew up watching Conan and loving his show and just did my first set on that and hearing him laugh, hearing Andy laugh. It was the first time I was like, oh I can this is like my career. I could do this for a career.
It's a pretty awesome career.
Yeah.
I love it, well stand up.
Alone, Like if you can make a living doing stand up, it's amazing. Yeah.
I like it. I don't like the club stuff so far or currently, just because of the again, my two sons. So I'm trying to hopefully get into doing less work for more money.
Oh yeah, who the fuck isn't I want to do less work for more money.
I feel like I'm doing more work for less money.
It's how it seems to be going on. I don't know, I don't like it.
I'm hustling.
Yeah, me too, a lot of hustle. Yeah it is.
It doesn't really seem there's no end in sight.
No, you would, do you feel like you're headed towards something.
I thought i'd be retired when I turned forty. I'm forty nine and I'm now hustling as much as I ever was.
Wow.
Yeah, you just made me sad because I was like, you're not retired, so there's no hope for me. Apparently if you had a big old show, iconic and now you're still working, guys, I gotta just give up that.
Yeah, I know. I want to just sit on a boat and let my skin fry.
Yes, that's what I mentioned with just a bunch it with my dog and some maybe a couple other people.
Okay, On that.
Note, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Rod Funshes.
Do you have what it takes to go through a therapy session with Chelsea? We're looking for duos who would like to join us for minisodes. That could be you and a friend, your spouse, a co worker, a family member, even your ex. We're looking for duos who have real and occasionally lighthearted issues that they need to work out
in a therapy session with doctor Handler. Additionally, this week, right in, if you have questions about fitness, it could be something specific you're dealing with in your fitness routine, how to maintain your motivation or get started with a new.
Routine, or questions you have on a.
Deeper level about your physical health and fitness. Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot.
Com, and we're back with Ron funshes Oh quick break, Yeah, that was a real quick break.
Ready to take some questions.
We are ready to take some questions.
Ron.
When was do you remember meeting me?
I mean I feel like it was just on your show. Was the first time I met oh and Chelsea lately?
Yeah?
Oh okay, because I don't remember us meetings. So I was going to ask you. I just know you and I don't know how we met.
No, I don't. I mean I could. I know that because I see you sometimes around and you look at me like you've never seen me in your las. Yeah, I saw you at the Netflix brunch and you came out of the car with Sarah Silverman, and then I hugged Sarah and then you turned and you looked at me, and then you just turned and walked away.
That sounds about right.
It was right. It was highly accurate.
That's how I say hello and goodbye.
Speaking of making more money while doing less.
That should be the name of this episode.
Ye.
Our first question comes from Sarah looking for a swift kick in the ass, and I figured you were just the bitch to do it. After twenty years together, I recently discovered my husband has had a Snapchat girlfriend months twenty months, twenty months like a toddler.
I love affairs, so I just love to hear about him.
Come on and get mad.
He communicated with her daily if he a text or a snap and although I asked him about it often, many red flags were present.
I just found out emotionally.
It's nice to finally get the truth and we are moving toward a divorce. Financially, though I'm freaking out. I'm not afraid to sacrifice or work hard. It just needs some decent financial advice. I'm so annoyed with getting myself into this situation in the first place. I have a great lawyer, and I know I'll get child support and a portion of his retirement. I just want to get my power back by earning more money. I'll be a third grade teacher next year and will be increasing my salary,
but I want to be more financially independent. Do any of those TikTok trends work? I'm looking to make good money as I don't.
Get paid in summer.
Oh my god, I have three daughters that are watching. It's important I get this right. Sarah.
Wow, it sounds like she wants to go on only and is looking for someone to give.
Her the premission. Yeah, which I don't recommend. I feel like the bottom is falling out on the OnlyFans economy. If anything, I think she wants to be just a true independent, high end escort that you can make good money away from your home while having fun.
Fun is for funches is the root word of funches is fun?
Okay, Also, just invest some of her money. You know, I'm going through the same thing, going through my divorce, and I've tried to just hustle and work hard and make as much money as possible. And then also, since I work in our business, I'm investing in AI and things that are trying to kill our business to hedge my bets.
Oh that's smart, very smart. I know I should be better about investing. I'm just gonna bite me in the ass. I'm going to get some somebody to help me.
Yeah.
You're going through a very difficult divorce.
You talk about it a lot on your podcast, right, Yeah, So are you allowed to talk about a divorce while it's happening?
I thought that were currently Yeah, until they tell me otherwise, and as long as I say things that I have text that I can back up.
What what is the problem? Just just acrimonious divorce.
It just to you sometimes even though you were like okay, I love this person jumping in at the end, then you were like, oh wait a minute, not what I thought this was. And we got a just fully men in black neuralizer this whole thing and act like I never met you in.
My life life. Oh that's rough.
Yeah, Yeah, that sounds like it will be a long legal issue, especially if you continue talking about it.
Probably there's gotta be some about not talking.
There isn't current legal cases or no, maybe not until they tell you to stun right to give you a gaggod.
I can ask me, it's gonna go along no matter what I say.
It's yeah, yeah, right.
So I'm sorry to hear that you seem to be in good spirits though you don't let those things really get you.
Down to it on occasion, I do, Yeah, if I had a depression off of it from it, for sure. It feels weird to talking about this recently with Andy Richter. I think for everyone you have this thing you build up like, Okay, I know what my next day is going to be, like, I know what my next month is going to be like. And for me, I was like, oh, I hopefully I know what my next fifteen to fifteen
years is going to look like. And I'm gonna come home and see my son and my wife, and I'm gonna go out and do shows and be a fun dad. And then you come and you realize like, oh, this is not sustainable or possible to maintain, and it's you know,
it's like a death. So it's been very difficult. And then you throw in and being like, oh did I even maybe I was an idiot and I didn't do enough research on this person and just believe the words that they said instead of like, I guess, but it feels weird to be like, maybe I need to google everybody before you talk to them.
I don't know.
Does Google tell you that these people are like their personalities aren't going to mesh with yours?
Not really. That's actually what AI is going to hopefully be good for.
It could be a better predictor of the future, you know, based on past events, because that's what we're really missing. We need to know be able to tell the future, that's what we're missing in society. If that would calm a lot of people down or rile a lot of people up, Yeah, and even split, I would say, would you want to know.
What's about to happen? Would you want to know that?
I mean, I guess that's why I do terror readings, so sure, yeah, but.
You want to hint, you know what I mean? That's more of like not foreboding.
But that's like a carrot you know, like a little carrot stick saying like, oh, good things could be coming down the pike.
It's not definite, but it's a possibility.
Yeah, But else tells you bad things are common?
Does I never get anything bad? They never tell me anything bad?
But I don't know if you're using a person.
Maybe I just don't have any bad vibes.
I know the person that you use gave very bad news to one of my friends. Okay, he told her she's going to break both of her ankles during her lifetime.
Wonderful, that's a really nicetime.
I know. At the same time, that's too long to know, it's too long.
It's too long.
So she feels like she can't do anything fun or risky. I'm like, I would do everything fun and risky.
I would do it, go overweight, break away, and then like yeah.
Then she breaks her wrists and she's like, oh shit, I'm still good.
But so first, Sarah, I feel like, you know, she said she doesn't work during the summers because she's a teacher.
I feel like the obvious answers, go get a summer job.
But Ron, I wonder if you have some wisdom around, like balancing spending some of that time with her kids versus making a little extra cash during the summer. If she like goes and gets a job, what should she prioritize?
Well, I think you you gotta first of all, slow down and then realize what you're going to get accurately from your lawyers, you know, so you can pay a
little bit financially knowing what you're gonna get. And then I think especially I don't know how old those kids are, but they sound at least that they would be able to know what's going on, So I think they certainly would need some time together and maybe a little bit more of a focus on them as opposed to there's more ways to take care of your kids besides just making sure that they have everything that they need finance anciently, you also need to be there for them mentally and
make sure that they know through this transition that they're taking care of and that they're the priorities for both of you.
So yeah, I mean the same thing.
I would say that, like this is kind of a sensitive time in your life that you want to be there for your kids in a transitional period. So while you are excited about making more money, like just hold on a second, slow down, like Ron said, you know, and make sure your kids are okay, and then once you know that they are and that they feel safe and secure, then you can go off and get another job.
But how I think she was asking what that job is.
Going to be Yeah, I feel like waiting tables is a good way to like she can work a couple days a week and like make some bank.
Just go wait.
Tables at like the most expensive restaurant you can find in your town.
Well, also, I feel like we got we nobody even taken any time for actual grief here. And that's one thing that I know. I fell into that track because I was the saying thing. I'm like, oh, I'm not going to get my standard of live in. I'm going to work and work and fill these things up. And then that grief hits you like a ton of bricks and you're in a hotel eating two foot long subway sandwich is crying and you you don't want to be there. I mean, it's not it's fun. Now that I said it,
it kind of sounds so delicious. Yeah, it doesn't sound too bad. But you know, you're not a robot, so you gotta have some time for yourself as well and be okay with the grief process.
Yeah, so okay, good luck. We'll tell her to fill us in with whatever whatever does happen. I want to know we'd like an update. I love updates because you know, when people it's nice when people right back in and say they did whatever we told them to do or they do whatever.
It's so nice when people change their lives.
I love. Yeah.
I love to have people get stuck, don't you think?
Yeah, my podcast we do that a lot. People were like, oh, I want started therapy or got out of a toxic relationship, or a guy told me he didn't kill himself, and I was like, that's.
Nice, Wow, changing lives.
We had one of those where you know it, Chelsea recommends gratitude journaling a lot, and this person was like, I was at my lowest. Things were really terrible, and I like started gratitude journaling that weekend and it basically saved me.
Oh I've been doing it. Yeah, before bed and in the morning when I stress out wondering about my own stuff. I used to be like, wait, what am I thankful for? What am I grateful for? Didn't you do these five things? And then it calms me down. It work.
Do you write the full sentence I am grateful for a grapefruit? Or do you write like, make a list. I have read the list.
I'm a list guy.
Okay, I'm going to start doing the list because I am grateful writing at fifty times in the morning is fucking annoying. Yeah, I want to write it once and then write everything get excited about what I'm grateful for. But it does change your frequency for sure, gratitude journaling, which is a sentence I never thought would come out of my mouth.
What's next, Catherine?
Our next question comes from Sam Sam Jay, not Sam Jay, although we're Sam Jay soon. Oh good, Sam, says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six year old man gay, but I realized that's a given since I'm writing into the fucking Chelsea Handler podcast. My boyfriend thirty two, and I have been together over a year now, and for about the first seven months, our sex life was everything. We had great physical chemistry, had similar sex drives, mine was probably more,
and we couldn't get enough of each other. I understand that sex lives can fade over time naturally, but I don't think that's the case here. I recently started a new anxiety medication that has been a total life changer, except for the fact that I have no sex drive. Sex feels like a burden. Recently, I barely want to engage at all. Obviously, this is impacting my boyfriend, his sex drive has remained the same, and now I'm leaving him completely unsatisfied. Is my sex life doomed simply because
I needed to get my anxiety under control? Is my boyfriend going to end up resenting me? Should I just suck it up and have sex more often? My doctor thinks I should stay on the medication for now. So I'm just unsure how to save this relationship. Thanks Sam, Oh.
Sam's got a cocktail.
During the day.
I was like a lot of margarita. It fucking sure looks like one.
Yeah, yeah during the workday too for me.
So, Hi, Sam, this is our special guest ron Funches today. So say hello to wait, sorry to hear about your most recent sex drive diminishment.
Yes, yep.
Isn't there anything you can take to offset the medication that you're taking for your sex drive, like a testosterone type of something or other?
Yeah, I haven't looked into testosterone. I guess the other thing is like I I also have ADHD, So I feel like I'm like like popping pills every day, like so many pills a day that it's kind of like, at what point do I you know it's how many is too much? That's kind of the billum I have. But I guess testosterone would be would be fine and something that I could look into.
Yeah, I would say, so unless you what's the deal with your boyfriend and you are you able to like you're not having as much sex.
Yeah, it was dwindling already because just like long term relationships to like three times a week, but now it's like once a month, and it's it's because of me, Like I just am always kind of pushing him off and he gets like It's not like I haven't told him why, and I'm very transparent. He's been great, but it's just kind of like I know that this is an important part of relationships, so I've been eager to
fix it. But also I just got some bad anxiety under control, so it's not really like I want to switch the medication.
I see. Okay, so are you in love with your boyfriend?
Yeah, yep, for sure.
Yeah, I would ask about then some testosterone, because it's it's totally cool for somebody to have to like acclimate and go into a new medication and the partner to have to be compassionate and understanding about that. But I would be working towards a goal where you're going to be having sex more than once a month, because you're talking about two games and that's not the staying exactly right, So somebody's gonna have to get fucked sooner than later.
Yeah, yeah, agreed, do.
You think right?
Yes, I'm by a guy gift fuck for sure. But also, what is your partner's actual thoughts about this? Ben? Have you guys communicated about this a lot.
Yeah, we've communicated about it a ton. I mean, he's been really patient. It's frustrating. I think it's frustrating for both of us. It's frustrating for him because he is not on medication, so he's extremely horny and I am on I am previously horny, so I get it. But I'm also just like not in the mood and it's been frustrating because I feel bad. I feel like I'm just like constantly pushing him off, and I don't want him to like gain resentment from that.
Well, yeah, exactly.
I think anyone would gain resentment from constant rejection from your partner, because that's how it comes across. At some point, whether he can get you know, it'll come through as that. So, yeah, find out about the testosterone. I'm sure you're not the only person. You know, there's not enough.
Gay men are not going to settle with not being able to have sex, like that's not going to stay. So there's got to be a medicine out there that.
Will help you, you know, that will cooperate with whatever antidepressants you're on or anti anxiety meds and your ADHD meds, and you'll figure out a way, but definitely work towards zacchol so that you can, you know, get back on track.
I just wonder about in the meantime, is there other forms of intimacy that you can practice or surprises that you can give, or ways to know to offset that rejection, to make them know that your partner know although you know you're verbally saying it's not you and they and they know, but still foster a thing of intimacy, you know, through other love languages, so that they're just still this while you're working through it, that that love is still being shown.
Oh yeah, yeah, for sure, I have been. I mean, we're super cuddly, We've been doing all the romantic things. I'm trying to pick up more around the apartment. So just little things like that.
And is that romantic to him?
I learned that the hard way was getting resentful for that.
Ask what's going on here? He's like, you don't do the dishes.
I'm like, okay, let me pick up.
Well, you could tell that the love is there for sure, So I and I know that the anxiety is the big reason for all of this. So I think, most of all, don't don't stress yourself out about this. This is a temporary problem and that can be a you know, big part of your love story if you guys working through this. Yeah.
No, it's a good point. And testosterone, that's a that's also another good point. I don't really know.
I's just like, that's what they give you to make you horny, or testosterone. I've been prescribed that before. It's basically for muscle mass and sex drive. Testosterone.
Well, that'll be great for my muscle mass and hopefully some extra truest hair.
Yeah, exactly, all right, Well you can get a prescription for that.
Okay, thank you.
You're not a real doctor, and though I want to be.
Yeah, I'll tell my doctor that.
Yeah, tell my doctor, tell your doctor.
I say, hello, Well that sounds great.
Thank you guys so much.
Take care Sam.
Bye. Thank you.
I love how sensitive you are.
Thank you.
You have a nice sensibility about you. You know, you have a lot of qualities and characteristics that I find so attractive in gay men.
Thank you.
You know like you like to listen. I find gay men to be very good listeners.
Yeah, I can see that, sometimes very mean.
They could be cattie, very bitchy, bitchy, bitchy, bitch. You're not bitchy though, you know?
No?
Or do you? Are you bitch on the side?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Yeah, No, I don't think so. Very chill.
Yeah, I wouldn't go well with that voice. Yeah, bitchiness.
What's next, Catherine, Well, next, we have an email.
This email comes from Ashley, and this is kind of about gaming.
Gaming. Who the emails about gaming? Do you game?
Oh?
Okay, great? Perfect? I'm like great, you can feel.
This happy too.
So Ashley is thirty one, and she says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend is in his early forties. He loves Japanese culture and is devoted to a video game where you play as Japanese high school girls who fight. I'm kind of creeped out by the fact that they're high schoolers dressed in a sexy schoolgirl uniform. Even if they're just cartoons. He says, it's just a game, but I feel like there's a provocative nature to the design of the characters. He spends money on the game, too, not a ton,
but it's a good chunk of change for us. It just feels childish to be playing video games at all at his age, but I can get over it because it's his hobby. Am I overreacting about this teenage fantasy? Or is a game just a game? Ashley?
Oh, it's right in the middle for this one, for sure. This, Yeah, it's a fair amount to unpack. I'll start globally. If he's forty one playing games, that's a okay. That means he's grew up in the eighty during the game In time, people who are always like, oh, real men don't play games, It's like, yeah, because you fifty and sixty, they didn't have games, so you would not have been able to play.
But now where the people who grew up with those games, and it's not a thing that you just like put away. Do I feel like perhaps his taste in games should be a little different probably probably a little bit bold to feel that you could play that game in front of your wife and not have any issues. So I would just be like, maybe he needs to play that game while she's in bed or asleep, or play a different game that doesn't have Japanese school girls. There's plenty
of great fight in games that do. I can't actually think of the one that does so to me, it is very sexual.
Yeah, I mean, on the one hand, it's sort of like their cartoon characters.
I don't know.
But at the same time, it's a little it's a little on the creepy edge.
As soon as I hear about gaming, my mind shuts off.
I just care even hear anything about it. I don't care. I can't answer the question. Obviously. That was for Ron Funcher.
I'm glad that you're here for this because I don't fucking know what to do about that.
I don't care. I don't think I could date a man that played video games.
Wow, you just talking to me about being open.
I don't think I could. I really don't, because when are they playing them? Like every night? Yeah, Sarah plays a lot of video games. You play with her?
Call of Duty?
Yeah, Yes, I play games all the time and still will fucking make you come so hard?
Should we move on to our next color?
Yes, I just climbaxed, Mallory says.
Dear Chelsea, Hi, I'm writing to you on how to get my shit together. I'm currently a married, thirty nine year old mom of three, so naturally I'm coming to you for advice. I have two biological children that are seven and five, and my husband and I just finished the adoption process for our first foster child, a two year old.
That process alone took a lot out of us.
I love being a mom, and although it has never come naturally to me, I truly feel proud of myself so far for doing a decent job raising them in the process.
However, I feel like I've lost myself a little bit.
I suffer from anxiety and finally took care of it a year and a half ago by starting therapy followed by an anti anxiety medicine that truly changed my life in such a positive way.
Attire on the show today A lot of medicine.
Yeah yeah, But one thing I have completely lost motivation for is to exercise, take care of myself, eat well, and just fucking relax.
Chelsea.
I know you work out religiously have a bang in bod because of it, and I figure you have got your life routines and rituals totally together.
I plan to work out.
I Meanwhile, then when that blissful two hour nap time comes around, I find myself bone ass tired and end up scrolling on the couch or doing household chores I've put off instead. I'm a procrastinator to the extreme. I want to end my thirties and the best shape of my life. But how do I get started? How do I put my mental exhaustion aside and focus on me when I want to take a big old nap instead?
How can I change my mentality? An FYI, The one ritual I do every evening when my husband gets home is taking a long, hot shower, smoking a joint, and listening to the Dear Chelsea podcast before bedtime. Heaven Mallory, and she's joining us here.
Hi, Mallorie, Hi, I'm so happy to be here. This is so exciting.
I love you, guys. This is our special guest who's gonna make you come. Ron Fuch's gret that wonderful just made both of us come. So Actually, I can't speak for Catherine. That's not professional. What a nice morning.
I'm so sorry work Chelsea.
Okay, so you want to get in shape, that's basically what you're saying. You want to just get your shit together. We'll get your fucking shit together. Then, I know, I don't.
Know what my problem is. I have no motivation, and then when I have time, I just like want to take a nap.
Well, yeah, welcome to the rest of the fucking This guy's playing video games every time he wants to take a nap. Or do you take a nap?
Sounds like it sounds like it with your video game schedule, you have.
Twenty minutes to set aside. Start with twenty minutes a day and fucking do some stupid pelletson class or some aerobics class. What are you into like bloates, yoga, yoga?
And I really would like to get stronger. It's like wanted do I have? I have everything I need? I do have time, Like there's times when my kids are napping.
I have a lot of kids, but we'll stop having kids also, And I just don't know.
What my problem is.
And even my husband is so sweet and he's always like I'll watch the kids. I'll be like, well, I'm not feeling that good, or like I need to eat, or like you need to just like I don't know what my problem is.
Is there a secret?
No, there isn't a secret. You just have to fucking get over yourself and do it. There's no secret. You have to say to yourself, I'm stronger than my emotions, and I'm going to work out for twenty minutes today.
And the more you were after you do it for three days, you're going to want.
To do it on day number four and day number five, you're going to want to start getting stronger and feeling better about yourself because it's going to give you energy. You're not gonna gets tired during the day as long as you exercise for twenty minutes and don't take it out of your nap time, get up twenty minutes earlier, or you can take a nap after you work out for twenty minutes. You're not gonna want to take a nap after you work out for twenty minutes.
You're right, that's so true.
I just need something to kick my butt into doing it and.
That yeah, okay, that's okay obviously, now, we're done already, this is already called ourselves. This is amazing. Wow, this is the quickest remedy ever. Thank you for this opportunity.
I feel like I was very in this position, and for me, it just took like if you can afford it, like getting a trainer. I go early in the morning, which I never thought I was going to be a morning person working out, but like we only do strength. I do my cardio elsewhere. But it's like thirty minutes.
It's like the laziest possible thing, thirty minutes. I started with twice a week, I do three times a week now, and it's like if I didn't have the other person waiting for me and knowing I was going to like burn. You know, however much money on that trainer that session, I yeah, never know.
I just will never know. That's a really good idea. That's a really good point.
I don't like disappointing people, So that's a good.
That's what I would ring them in a hundred percent. Especially if you got the husband who wants to watch the kids while you go out, take advantage and go do a class.
You're right, that's gonna be good for the whole family. You're gonna be in a much better Yeah.
It's such a nicer person when I get exercise, So you're right, it will be good for everybody.
Goodbye, but thank you.
I love you guys.
Okay, bye. That sounded like she really wanted to talk to me.
Yeah.
I was like, excuse me, this isn't a problem.
Yeah, and you're also like, you're you seem pretty fit.
I was gonna say, I was gonna say, get up and show us your body, but then I was like, I can't. I don't think I can say that because she looked great. Yeah, I'm like, let's see what condition your body's She looked.
Fine, husband's gonna be happy. It'll be good time exactly.
And I think she won't get as tired as well, like in the late afternoon as she does that in the morning.
But let's take a quick break and we'll come back to wrap up. But I would love for Ron for you to tell us a little bit about your like.
Jiu jitsu journey that you have been on and how that's helped your mental health and physical nice.
Absolutely, Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back, and we're back with Ron funches Hi Hi, I read that you speak jiu jitsu.
You landed that playing very well. I do speak jiu jitsu. Yes, I've been taking jiu jitsu for about sixteen months or so once I another separation divorce spurred thing where I wanted to take control of my health and also had some anger issues and was like I should be I need to be able to choke someone in a positive area. And so then I started it and fell very scared and just drug myself every day and just sweated a bunch and did not know what I was doing at all.
But now I love it. It's so spiritual, it's so fun. I had at pilates this year. I just try to add a new thing every year to my health goals.
And that's And so who got you into jiu jitsu?
Freddy Prince Junior got me in the jiu ju?
Oh.
I think he lives behind me.
Freddie Prince and Sarah Michelle Gello. I keep hearing about them in my neighborhood, but I don't see them. So he got you into jiu jitsu?
Yeah, because everybody else I knew that jiu jitsu were like super like type of dudes and comedians that I was like, all right, whatever, I don't want to like getting to the USC. Yeah, you know, although Joe's actually he was a big part of the school that I go to. They love him there, so he's done a lot for that school. But I never had heard the spiritual aspects of it are the parts about just building confidence,
And now I love that. Like I'll never plan to compete or get into a cage, but I like, I like going two three times a week.
Yeah, well, I'm glad that doesn't conflict with your gaming schedule.
No, it makes me a full rounded person. I can beat you in Mortal Kombat, and if you get mad at me, I'll put you in an arm bar or choke the shit out of you.
What other spiritual components of jiu jitsu are there? Oh?
So many. I mean just lessons that I learned from talking to my professor. Like one time he had me in this hole and he's like, there's two ways you can get out of this. He's like, you can disengage or you have to go through me, and you're gonna get probably some rug burn, you're gonna get your ear scuffed up, but you're going to make it through. And again,
while I'm going through all this stuff. It's just nice to have someone be like, well, the only way you lose is if you stop moving, and like, as long as you keep moving, as long as you you might get a little rug burn, you might get your cheeks scraped up, but you're gonna get out of this. And those are the type of things that I need to hear and make me feel good. And so it's just a lot of stuff just about balance, about movement, about some of our human natural human reactions to stress or
to fear only cause us more harm. And to be able to like stay calm and lean into things, just go through things. And you know, again, I need that.
It must be easy to do as or when, especially when you have children, it must be you have more motivation to really have your act together in terms of reactive behavior and reacting to different situations, right, because there's such a sense of responsibility to demonstrate how to handle those kinds of situations.
Yeah, and just my overall health with having sons twenty years apart, I'm like, I want to be an active dad for both my kids, and so I have to be you know, I'm go I need to be in shape when I'm fifty and we need to be in shape when I'm sixty, so I have to start now again, you know, just turn it on.
Well.
Plus it's hard because you're busy making so many women come all the time, so it's like one right now, just me, yeah, just dear Chelsea Power Couple.
Thank you, Ron Funches. What a delightful early afternoon soiree.
I enjoyed it.
Lude Yeah, yes, thank you for being here. I have to change my underwear now, yeah yeah, yeah, it's like soaker.
Okay.
So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'll be in Auburn, Washington on August first, and then Santa Rosa, California for my second show August second.
August seventeenth is the Santa Barbara Bowl. You do not want to miss that.
And then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina.
I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City.
And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three dates in Vegas our September first, Labor Day weekend, and then November second, and November thirtieth.
I'm coming to.
Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth, and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the year in December, so if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Okay, if you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com