An Exercise in Patience with Ben Bruno

Thanks for sitting down with us today. That's actually how I have you programmed in my cell phone? Oh? Really? I thought it was kunt Nope. Good to know. He's my personal trainer and he is also a friend. A lot of people think that we have penetrated each other, so we'd like to clarify at the top of this podcast that that is not the case. That Ben is Ben. Are you currently single? Ben is single and available? I am single and available. Um Brandon are in a relationship? Okay,

so two out of three UM live ones? Correct live ones? Anyway, I just got just mean we're actively like available, like it's not for each other. Three out of three live ones. Well, no, no, he's taken he has a love but we're not. He's on a live one like he's not out there looking to get some action. I get it. I know that you're out there looking to get action, right, Yes, I am also looking to get action. Are we going to put my cell in the podcast? No? No, we'll put

your address on it. Um. I just got back from London. I went and I saw Wimbledon. I saw a bunch of people play tennis, which I love. I love going to London for Wimbledon. It's one of the most civilized sporting events and and it's civilized. Well just watching it is just a civilized experience being at Wimbledon because I have a royal problem with I know you love football basketball because you train a lot of those guys to Wimbledon's actually on my action not with a T. It's

wimbled and with a D. Wimble done. I can't even say it right now, that's the right way, wimble Ton done. Whatever is on my bucket list of sporting events. That and the Masters are the next two that I want to check up. And the Masters is golf. Masters is golf? Yeah, yeah, I don't need to see that. Do you have a preference for sporting events, Brandon not one. I love to go to a live supporting event, but I'm not going

to watch anything on TV. Okay, well, we had a huge victory for the US with the Women's Cup, and that is something that I could watch over and over and over again. Even though I don't understand soccer. I don't get any of the plays. I just know when somebody makes a goal. The problem with soccer, though, when you say that, I'm with you, is that in a ninety minute game, there's like one to two goals and they always seem to happen when you like get up

to take a piss or something like that. So the most of the time you're watching the game, they just kick it down, they shoot miss, there's a corner kick, they go back the other way like nothing happens. That's the tricky part for me with soccer. I feel like soccer is on the sports to where you have to have played it to really enjoy it. Like if you go to watch it, you're not just going to a football game, like have a beer and watch what happens soccer.

Those are committed people. But I used to play soccer, but I still feel because there aren't a ton of goals except the US running up to score in the first in the first round. But for the most part, it's one to two goals and you know, then a whole lot of jogging around nothing. Well, I mean it's but it's the most watched. Yeah, I mean, people love women soccer. People love it more than men right now too. Yeah, I'm sure I'm firmly on the bandwagon. Yeah, why would

There's nothing not to love for men and women. It's got everything for something for everybody. This is their fourth consecutive title. I don't know about that. It's their second consecutive title, do you know, Ben, I don't. I don't. I mean when I say I'm firmly on the bandwagon, I was firmly on the bandwagon four years ago too. For like, who's your favorite player? Well, I mean Megan Rapino is a study. Um, Alex Morgan is stud to study. Yeah, yeah,

she's probably my favorite. Well, yeah, I like how viciferous Megan Rapino is. I like really okay for Alex Morgan? Okay, Well, I'll see if she contacts us and we can let you know. Um, we brought you here specifically today, So anyway, we first of all. Anyways, first of all, I want to say congratulations, and I want to say that every victory like this is so great for women. And this has been happening a long time, but uh with women's soccer, but it's really great to see it, especially when we

have such uh, such competitive women. I mean, we are the best soccer team right now, right in the US. But we won one seems like so easily. Each country. It was like a gold and a half because it was we won, but it was like a beat down every Yeah. Okay, so let's talk about working out because how long? How long have I known You've been a lot of people are curious about our workouts and people

say I look really good. So I want to say thank you because I know you know that I don't always feel that way, that I'm very hard on myself, and that I don't always take compliments very well well at all. Okay, so when did we start working out together? We started working out I remember March of two thousand and fifteen, so that's like four half years. It's it's

like the trainer equivalent of common law. It's been a while, yeah, and there's a lot of like trainers out here in l A. And so I was very averse to having one of those celebrity type trainers that trains a lot of celebrities because I don't like that action. I like to be on the d L. You do train other celebrities, but you don't seem to be an asshole about it. I try try not to be an asshole. Brandon, do you think Ben's an asshole? No? Ben is the nicest

guy around, nicer than you. Well, I don't know. That's a tough call, but Ben, do you think Brandon's nice? Brandon is really nice? Thanks Ben. Earlier you mentioned that he does train a lot of athletes, and what is the difference in that clientele because it's pretty specific and you don't talk about a lot of your celebrity clients,

but you do post a lot about your athletes. Yeah, you know, well, uh, the thing about training athletes, my background is actually training athletes before I moved to l A. That's mostly what I did. And And where were you before l A? Right outside of Boston, Luburn, Massachusetts. And the thing about training athletes in l all So, to backtrack, in Boston, I trained a mix of pro athletes, but it was mostly year round. It was middle school, high school, and Kyle of athletes, and in l A now it's

just pro athletes. So that means that when I say that I train athletes, it's like for two or three months out of the year and then the rest of the time they're in season doing their thing. It's just in the off season. So it's not like I'm training the year round. The clients like Chelsea that live here,

it's year round. And so when you look at somebody like me, because there's a big fallacy that women can't lift weights because we're gonna get bulky, and you've shown me that that's not true because I lift heavy weights and I'm smaller than I have been my entire life working out, and that's true for other clients of yours, like kd Upton says the same thing, that she lifts heavy, heavy weights and she's thinner than she's ever been. Um,

and you, so, what what is that? What is the philosophy there to explain to women to not be scared, not be scared of weights Because I was scared of weights and I thought cardio was the way. And what I've discovered is the less cardio I do the more weights, the leaner I am. Well, I think a lot of women are scared to lift weights, understandably so because a lot of the programs out there come from guys, and a lot of the guys that train women train the

women like they would train themselves. And I think that when I talk about strength training for women, I'm not talking about doing tons of bench press and that type of stuff. It focuses on the areas that women want to focus on. And when I you know, and the thing now is like I do personal training, So the workouts you do are different than some of the other women I trained because of the areas you're trying to focus on and your injury history and all that type

of stuff. But the thing about the weights is that I don't think women always really realize. The word that I hear a lot is they want to be toned instead of like guys say, like jacked or whatever. Women want to be toned, but like tone. When you hear a guy come in and say I want to get jacked, do you want to punch him in the face? I mean, that would be real douchy. I've thankfully I've never really

had anybody say that. Maybe I have actually had people say that, but because sometimes it seems like the week the workouts you get up to on the weekends with your buddies seemed very gerilla ish. Yeah, I I have that inner meat head in me that I kind of have to channel. You know, I used to be actually before you met me, I was way more of a meathead and then I've kind of become a little bit soft since I moved to l A. But I still

have that meathead in me. Do you think that's the thing people come becomes soft when they moved to l A totally? And yeah, exactly. I mean it's happened to me. I drink like greens juice and ship like things that I would have like I want to kick my own ass sometimes, Like for the things I'm doing now, it's just hard to do. I haven't figured out a way. Um. Yeah, no, I've definitely changed. I don't think I'm like a huge, huge pussy yet, but it's like I'm more so than

I was when I moved here. But you're right, the workouts, it's funny. I spend my whole I don't know if it's funny. I say that too much, but it's not funny at all, but thank you, because I don't want the listeners looking forward to something funny. So I spend my whole day with clients being somewhat of a mom and being very um, you know, overly cautious with what I have them do. I really don't want to hurt my clients, which you know you shouldn't want to hurt

your clients. But then what makes me happy as far as training is like doing all the stupid ship that I tell my clients not to do, so, you know, sort of when everybody goes home, then that's like when my buddies come over and I do, you know, questionably

reckless things that I just want to do. On the subject of moving to l a m becoming more, I guess of a pussy, right, because we all we all have I have to say that I said that, and then I almost didn't say it because sometimes when I say that, women say that that's a really mean thing, and I shouldn't say that, So you don't I don't mean. I don't mean that in the mean way. I love pussy, Okay, Brandon, do you love pussy? Not in the same way, right, So let's just get that off the table right now,

or on the table. Actually, let's get it off the table right. So, Brandon, you have you taken some workout tips from Ben? Because I know that you guys come, you come in and try, and you know Ben's always willing to help. I trying to not cross that line and when you find someone who has a specific professions like asking a doctor for medical advice all the time. But he has given me good tips, He's given me supplements. He's because Brett, Bret Brandon works out like a lunatic

more than I do. He's jacked. Yeah, you're what I'm saying. I don't but I don't like it. But I think that's one of those like body this morph your things. You look at it, and as you get bigger, you don't see it the same way. When you get thinner. It's harder to realize until someone's like, oh, you look really thin today, and then it's like, oh, that's the affirmation that you need that you're doing the right thing.

I want to go back to something you said really quick, because you said that like you never want to hurt anyone that you train, But what does that threshold like When Chelsea says that she wants to like either tone or tighten a certain area, Like how do you know how far to push it still making them uncomfortable to get better but not hurting them obviously. Well, that's a

great question because when you're a personal trainer. I'm friends with a lot of physical therapists and we always talk about how our jobs are seemingly similar, but they're very different because nobody comes to me to address their injuries. They come to me to if they're an athlete and you know, improve their performance or most people, it's more aesthetic, you know, or or health or what. But most most

of the time it's aesthetic. And to get in really really good shape, you have to train really really hard and push your body, but you can't get hurt. You know that the easiest way to get out of shape is to get hurt and not be able to train. And my clients always come to me wanting to push it hard and getting good shape and things, and I am sometimes I'm very conservative because having hurt myself and had gone and I've actually had a couple of surgeries,

that's when you get out of shape. But my clients don't always like see that. So, like Chelsea, sometimes feels like I ask her too much how she's feeling, or she wants to work through things when I want to let it rest because I kind of know like in the moment, they don't think about getting hurt, but I know like if you get hurt, then you know that sucks and that puts your life on hold. So safety is kind of like the underlying thing of any program. But at the same time, yeah, you do have to

train really really hard to get results. You know, it's um but I also think that the you know, like I I've been talking this whole podcast and my tour of it has been a lot of therapy talk. I think the to go hand in hand a lot because I think becoming really physical, Like I used to look at physical fitness as a necessary evil, like I just had to do it to remain thin because I was on TV all the time. Now I look at as a mental necessity because to stay fit physically is linked

with staying fit emotionally and staying fit mentally. Like the to go hand in hand. So when when when you when I don't feel strong physically, it affects me mentally, and I want to feel strong in both areas and those two things. People say that to you, I think a lot when you're learning about fitness or you're getting into fitness, and you're like, yeah, funk off, but it's so true. Oh, it's so true. Well for me, I've always said that working out is like therapy for me,

and I've always met that. I used to literally just work out. I didn't go to therapy. Now I do both. But yeah, we both go to there and we meditated together the other day on the lawn right in the sunshine. Wasn't that nice? Yeah? And then Ben fell asleep for two hours. If that gives you any indication of his personality, I just passed right out. What I was going to say, though, is I think you know, guys tend to get a

default emotion is like anger, piste off. But a lot of guys that I know feel similar literally to me, that when they're piste off, that you know, doing a really hard workout and turning on angry music and you know, lifting really heavy weights just somehow makes you feel better, right, you know? Do you feel that way when you work out? Like, if you're angry, do you want to go work out?

I'm stoned a lot when I work out so it helps me I deal with ben and then be It helps me really focus on the workout and then I get really strong, like the couple of times i've been really stoned. Remember, you've had good workouts. I've had great workout So now I know. Okay, you know, and I've had good workouts when you're stone because you tend to be nicer to me, which I appreciate. Right, Okay, well,

I guess you're welcome. Thank you. I want to ask you a question about therapy because you never went to therapy until you moved to California. Right. I did twice, but I was over two. It was never stuck. And so what made you want to go to therapy? I like when men talk about therapy, so I think it's important for us to discuss it a little bit. What made you decide to bite the bullet and find a therapist here? Well, I first went to therapy against my will when I was like ten, and my my dad

committed suicide when I was nine. And that's really tricky to figure out at any age, I think, but it's I know. All I can say is that it's really tricky to figure out when you're ten and I was put in therapy with more of like a psychiatrist, and also wanted to give me medicine, and I didn't like the medicine. I didn't like talking about stuff, and so I basically stopped going. As soon as I convinced my mom to stop going, I just and I never bought in.

I used to with my psychiatrists. We would just play cards and stuff like that, and I would very rarely talk about anything. The second time I went to therapy, I went through a really bad depression for like two years, to the point that because I think my dad committed suicide, I always vowed I would never do that because it seems like a really frankly, just a cowardly thing to

do two people that love you. But I used to really when I was like nineteen and twenty, I used to like look at people that got in fatal car accidents and think like lucky bastard, because I just felt really in pain all the time, and I didn't think I was going to get better, and I couldn't drive, and I felt very isolated because my friends were in school, and you know, you're kind of out of sight, out of mind, so I just felt very lonely, and my

day consisted of this is prett. Netflix would buy like box sets of like The Sopranos and The Wire and stuff and just watch them and just try to kill the day. So I actually went back to church and I didn't like that, and I tried therapy again. And did you go on antidepressants that time? No? I did when I was ten, and I just like didn't want to take him up. So I have an interesting stance on antidepressants, interesting to me anyways that we can get into.

But I went to this therapy, but I wasn't open to therapy, and so for somebody, I have a really hard time and I still do with my current therapy. I have a hard time talking about feelings because I think I tend to be somebody that's kind of literal, and when people ask me questions that are therapy ish, it feels very weird to me, and so I don't really know how to answer. Are you able to get emotional in front of your therapist? I don't know. No, I thinking now, I don't think I ever have. UM.

I've got emotional very few times. I can remember them all, but it's always like random with friends and stuff. Like that therapy feels very tricky to me. Um, and so I didn't really like it that much when I was twenty and then life kind of just chugged along. And then I went back to if this is two November of two thousand seventeen, I started it back up, and

that is, Um, it's almost two years now, but it happens. Yeah, And I think the key to the key to it is that when you're open minded, things come to you when you break, like you know, me going to therapy open my mind, because at first I was shut down, and then I became more and more open, and then then I'm open to what meditation and then I'm open to listening to a podcast like Oprah Super Soul, which five years ago I wouldn't have listened to. I wouldn't

have had the time for. I think being open minded it helps in every way, you know, with regard to fitness, with regard toss therapy, it's like, okay, I have something to learn here. To assume that you don't know everything and to say okay, I want to absorb everything I don't know about this topic is a great healthy way to be. Yeah. And I but I think just being

open minded too. The idea of therapy is huge too, because when I first went, it was like, I don't I probably didn't tell you for like three weeks of going to therapy. I probably and and you might have been one of the earlier people I told, because you had told me about your therapy and stuff, so it felt like a safe like I honestly kind of saw it as a confession. And I didn't tell anybody in

the beginning. Uh, And a couple of my friends I told them that I had a panic attack, and I remember thinking I was super embarrassed to tell them, and I'm trying to think of like how to describe the embarrassment. But it was kind of like I felt like my guy friends were going to be like, dude, you're soft, Like you're just so soft for doing this. Well, they're

probably all in therapy. Well that's just it. There were so many of my friends because for like five days I didn't work out, and it's because my throat was like just bugging me out. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and so I didn't want to like have to breathe harder. And I remember one of my friends coming over and was like, dude, it's anxiety, like you could you can work out like you're fun And I'm like, oh, you've had this, and he was like, yeah, I've had this.

Come to find out, a ton of guys that I'm friends with like go to therapy or we're like, I'd like to go to therapy if my financial situation was different. It's dope, you're doing that. Like there might be some guys out there that are like, oh, man, Ben's a huge pussy and but for the most part, I felt like a lot of people were like, dude, that's really cool. And still it's a little bit weird for me. I don't think I've actually ever even like said this publicly,

but most people in my life know it now. I still feel a little weird about the idea, but it is there's so many guys that it's like, um, you know, the Emperor's new clothes, Like everyone's thinking something, but they never say it, Like I think it's that type of thing where anybody that I know has has gone through similar feelings to me. And don't think everyone's done therapy,

but a lot more people have than I thought. But it's a thing that, um, I think when you talk to your friends about those type of things that makes your friendships a lot more real or meaningful. Because I remember when I came to l A. This place will teach you l A like, you know, probably more than

anywhere in the world. Like money doesn't buy happiness, And I think that I've learned like it doesn't matter what your life is like on the outside, Like everyone's got ship they're dealing with, you know, a lot, even if your life is ostensibly great. You know, there's stuff that that irks people in me in real ways. And it's like, you know, if you have a job, you have stress. But it's like if you have if you have a family, like you have shipped to deal with. If you don't

have a family, you have shipped to deal with. Like there's just everyone's got shipped to deal with, because I do think every everybody listening to this podcast has shipped to deal with, you know, either some people have the luxury of being able to to a therapist, which is

a luxury, and some people don't. Um but it is good to hear that about a guy going to therapy because I know every woman in a relationship with a man would be happy to know that that person is in therapy and that you know there are men going and it does help and it's not stupid. I said to my cousins recently after their father passed away, that they should all go to a therapist and a grief counselor, which they were like, we don't need therapy, we don't

need therapy. And they went to one session with a grief counselor and you know, five boys in the room, and every one of them came out going, oh my god, that helped us so much. So it's good to hear people talking about it. Brandon. We're gonna get you your own therapists so you can stop confiding in my bell. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. Uh So tell us how you became a trainer, first of all, So do you want the short version or

the long version? Always the short version. It's going to be kind of long. I could probably tell the story for you that you were injured. Don't tell the story, I mean, yeah, yeah. So I actually was a sociology major in college and interned in finance with Raymond James and hated that. And also in college, halfway through my sophomore year, I had a back surgery that didn't go well, and I had to take two years off a medical leave, and I lost forty pounds of body weight, so I

was super skinny. So I used to do this core stuff in two thousand six. I would wager a bet that I did more planks, side planks and sit ups than any human in the world in two thousand six, because will you write two thousand six down in your notes section and your on your iPhone, because that's no, that's just what I did. I ment. I just wanted to get better from this fucking surgery. And I'm somebody that if some is good, more is better. And I do that in good ways and in bad ways. It's both.

I've just always somebody that takes things to the extreme, you know. And I would do sets of like hundreds of sit up and ship and now, like, you're not even supposed to do sit ups if you have a bad back. I didn't know, So I just did a fucking shipload of everything, like I just read, you know, That's how I've always been. But I was giving long story short, I was giving people advice. Some of it

was shitty advice, and I just really liked that. So I connected the guy who I worked under at Raymond James connected me with a trainer who trained his sons for football, and that guy offered me a job. I kind of parlayed finance into a training job. And then it turned out that this guy was a real douche bag and pulled the rug out from under me. I hope he hears this too. I hate that guy. Well, why don't give him a shout out? Yeah? I don't

want to call him out, but I would. We could give him a shout out if you could land the fucking plan on this story instead of going on and on he said, I was going to be the abridged version. It's a bridge dish. I could have gone longer. What about boundaries? Did you want to ask him about boundaries? Brandon, I'm not great with boundaries, do you? How do you set boundaries for you and your clients? Because obviously you yes, uh, you know, I don't think I'm great with boundaries. I

think that's um. I have a bit of a different training business because I don't have a gym and staff or anything like that, you know, and and most of my clients have trained for as long as we've trained, you know, and um we and we we see each other quite often. So well, I'm your worst client, though you would say, right, or do you have about the worst one than? I mean, you don't have to mention anyone else's names. No, I don't have to because you're

the worst, like by far? What constitutes me being your worst client? Just? I mean, can I really be honest? I mean sometimes I just wish that I had a security camera in my gym that could with audio, that I could just let people know a normal day workout, because I think, like when people see our Instagram videos and you're chewing me out, I think like this is nothing compared to just the normal day of like like

you know, so just so people get an idea. Chelsea will walk in and I'll say, hey, how are you doing? And She'll go, why the fund do you always ask me how I'm doing? I just saw you yesterday, not like nothing's happened, Like why would you even say that? Like why would you even ask me how I'm doing? And I just sit there and think, like for split second, just because of her tone, I think like, oh God, I did something wrong, like I fucked up. And then

I think, and I didn't funk up. She's just kind of a bit right now, like it just doesn't know. You're right. In my defense, you you do say hey, how you doing three or four times at the beginning of every workout, So by the third or third or four time, I want you to stop, not three or four, but and then and then. For example, when we talk about how I trained clients, most people, I will just simply ask them for their feedback, like how are you feeling?

Does anything hurt? Like basic stuff that gives me info to whatever. Chelsea doesn't want to answer, like does anything like annoys her? If I ask how she's feeling, like if or if I say to something hurt, she'll be like she just like doesn't even say anything. She just goes like in this way of like I'm super annoying.

So I don't have the info to even like, no what to do, right, But you have to understand that if something is hurting me, I'll probably come I'll lead with that, yeah, but you you don't though, yeah, but you'll say, like, for example, you know, my shoulder hurts, and then I'll go, you know, I'm kind of captain obvious, so you'll go my my shoulder hurts, and I'll go, okay, well like lay off your shoulder and you're like no, no, no, but I need to do like shoulder And I'm like,

well this you don't want to be hurt, Like I don't want to tell you don't want to be you know, no, Well, I will say, when something's really bothering me, is there a way to work around it? Is there a way to do something with my shoulder that's not going to exasperate it, because I always exacerbate exasperate. Anyways, up top there you go. What about for people? Oh and the other reason that you're that the worst is you think

we've done over a thousand workouts. We probably have. Um, it feels like it's probably we've done over a thousand, and there hasn't been one. There hasn't been one of those one thousand. We'll just say it's two thousand where we have made a time and stuck to that time. I've never met somebody that's not that's and that's a that's an exaggeration, and that's the right word for that exaggeration. Well, there's been a very few times, so like, yeah, you're

you're a lot. I do change my schedule around all the time, and you're and you have no boundaries. I will exactly exactly, so it's kind but I will say as far as a client, uh, I kind of want you to close your ears because I don't like to be nice to your face. But you are the strongest client I have with core stuff. Like it's funny because you always like tell me I don't know how to do apps and you do ship that like a lot of people a lot of men can't even do. And

you hear that, Brandon, I'm listening. You're also the best and I actually mean this literally the best uh at you know, the exercise that you actually like, but it's like the most hate ubiquitously hated exercise in the world. The it's called were foot elevated split squads with your back on the bench. Every listener is probably listening like fun that exercise, but you actually like it and are the strongest woman I've ever trained on rear foot elevated splits.

What I would like to say to all women listening is that any exercise that looks so like brutal or hard, or that you don't want to tackle, when you do do it, and all you have to do is rehabituate yourself. If you make a commitment to yourself to say, hey, I'm going to do these workouts, you start to enjoy your workouts. You don't hate them every single time. Sure their days where you wake up and you're hungover or you don't feel like working out, but if you push

through that stuff, it just becomes away. It's like breathing. It's like, oh, I don't feel right unless I work out. It doesn't matter what kind of shape on me in that day. That to get in and like move your body helps you maintain happiness throughout the day and maintain

entergy g throughout the day. So all of it is like, you know, it's all of the things that I hate, and I'm right there with all of you and I'm like, oh, I can't do that, But I have to tell you it pays off and it does work in your life in a way. It adds something to your life in a way that you know, I can always keep up with guys no matter what I'm doing, whether it's skiing, whether it's hiking or really good skier too. By the way, thank you, Ben, that's nice. You're a good skier too.

It's well, this is nice. It's like a therapy session for us. A lot of the women that I train now, like you'll see our social media posts of them lifting heavyweights and stuff. But like it didn't start there, you know. I you know, like I kind of meet people where they're at as far as their workout and as far as like how gung ho they're trying to go and just try to, you know, make small changes. Do you tell people not to drink? Do you tell do you

tell any of your clients not that you don't do well? I? Yeah, I do tell people to not to drink if you need to look your absolute best for something. By the way, if you choose to you know, not listen to me, then that's fine. But I will tell people that have to aesthetically look a certain way that drinking is not going to help with that, you know, um, but for just a lifestyle thing, you know, to me, that's like a sad way to live. But teach. Are you drinking again?

I know you didn't drink for a few months because you had some issue, right, No, I didn't. Well, yeah, the answer is yes, because I got rid of this goddamn cough, but I was, yeah, it was. I googled. I just couldn't get I couldn't shake this cough and and it said that that was that caffeine and alcohol were no buenos. So I just said that and then not coughing. So what were you going to say, Brandon? Well, I was going to pay Ben a compliment because when

we I know, you plowed right over me. But this was a good one I want to give. When we went to Park City, Ben went skiing with us, and I had never seen him one. I've never seen a photo of your shirtless, and your body is kind of misleading because you wear you don't wear sue for tight clothes. I would say everybody's body's misleading. Yes, you know, I mean a lot of times it's misleading. Well, Ben's was for me. Kine is definitely misleading because wine looks a

lot better than I believe it is. No, and see I believe the opposite. Okay, anyway back to what you were saying. Okay, so when we were in Park City, Ben went up to hot tub and I say, sounds about right, But again, I've never seen him without a shirt on, and there's like no photo online that I've seen his body. Your abs, all those abs that you did in two thousand and six have endured because you are built like a mannequin. Like every ab is perfectly symmetrical.

You look like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Oh wasn't it my uncle Terry that you? Oh yes, I remember this. He since passed away, so he's no longer with us. But my uncle Terry, who was over one day. Remember we went to Blue Plate Oyster it once and we had some drinks, and we had some and then we all went back to my house and you got in the pool and my uncle was sitting outside of my living I'm going, oh my god, look at that guy's body. Can you believe it? And I thought he

was talking about Brandon. I'm like, Brandon's in the pool. And then apparently he was talking about you. So he had a big he had a big herd on for you. But do you remember he hadn't stopped thinking about it, and then a week later he brought it up. So I have a question for you guys. Then that's interesting.

I mean, I try to stay in good shape because I'm a trainer, and just you know, I still like thinking myself like an athlete, so I like train harder than I probably need to and stuff that said, I always think it's super douchey when people that are trainers

like share lots of photos of themselves. I think it's yeah, but I've had people actually a matter of fact, I put on the Instagram Q and A if people wanted us to talk about anything on the podcast, and somebody wrote in like, why don't you ever take pictures with your shirt off? And it's like, because I'm not he was not a gay guy who asked no, no, It's like I don't know who. It's definitely more of a gay thing that men do than straight because as soon

as the guys with his shirt off. I have trainers that it for their all their Instagram videos literally take their shirt off to like lift their weight and then they put their shirt bag. No, you don't need to do that, insane. It's like when you go to Barry's boot camp and all the guys take their shirt off in Unison, like as soon as they go on a

chart moment, you don't even started sweating at. I think it's also inappropriate for men to be able to take their shirts off while they're exercising when we're not allowed to take our shirts off and run down. We're not allowed to the rule in my gym is I don't care if you wear a shirt, but you just can't wear gloves. That's for men or women. Like a catchphrase, which is also another question that I'd like to ask, because you're wearing a shirt right now that says remember

when I asked for your opinion me neither? Like do you look for these? Do people send them to you because you like a shirt with a logo or not a logo a catch Yes? I do. I have a solid T shirt collection because people know what I think. That's all I care about is what I think. Well that's a great answa. Uh yeah, long story short, Yeah, I get these are gifts. That was a short story that wasn't a story that actually there was an answer. Yeah,

long story. Short is only for storytelling, not for answer. If you because people have said to me that you know that you do this thing where you talk over somebody, but because you were talking ship, I'm just trying to get you shut the funk up. But I would say, as a trainer, people tell me that you know you should your body is your business card is one thing that people say and that clients are more likely to want to train with you if they see your in

good shape. But like, if you saw a trainer that had all these shirtless pictures, would you be more apt to train with him or less apt? Personally less? But Brandon answer for yourself, because you're a gay man, do you like that? No, I would say less as well. I would. I think that for me, it's saying like that they have that body, but I don't need to see it, Like if they haven't, I know what they're doing,

but like I don't need to look at it. There's a personality type that goes along with posting naked photos of yourself. I know because I'm one of those people. So that is something that you know. If somebody's posing like that, you're gonna have one of two reactions usually, I mean, I'm sure there's a group of people that have a third reaction, which is in the middle and they don't carry it away. But yeah, it seems to be I was asking more out of curiosity. What about

your mom? Your your mom's personal trainer. Does that interfere at all with your relationship with her? Are you able to talk about personal stuff when you're training her. My mom is how old? I'm not gonna one maybe or I think twenty. She's turning soon. I give her at workout tips sometimes. But you ever heard that saying you're never an expert in your own home. I'm sure it's

just saying, but that's how I feel about my house. Brandon. Yeah, that has different applications, but she doesn't always listen to me on workout. But you do train your grandmother too, who's like ninety right, she can work out. My grandmother can run circles around most people. She does exercise class six days a week, you know, stuff in the pool and everything. Um, and she's also year old. Okay, well, this sounds like a good time to take a break.

Is there a boundary or is there a thought process that you have when working with like l Well, I'll

say this with any client I train. I always tell trainers that are asking how to program because one thing, a lot of trainers that train a high level clientele are more specialists, are having a niche or is it niche or niche niche I thought it was niche whatever, So a lot of trainers will have a niche so it could be training just you know, uh, models, or just act you know, superhero actors, or just baseball players or just basketball players. And my client tell is probably

the most like diverse of of any trainers. You train a lot of athletes train you know, I trained my youngest clients like eighteen, my oldest clients in his seventies and and uh summer athletes, some are non athletes, And you trained just Spiel right CBL. She's got it the

best one. I mean, that's pretty much the best body I think in my in my opinion, and have any female I think Jessica Bale's body is what I would they have a saying form follows function, but she does some of the most savage workouts stronger, and she's stronger than I am for sure. So what I was going to say though, with personal training is the personal part refers to the client, not the trainers. So a lot of trainers, in my opinion, go awry because they just

try to train everyone the same. And for me, uh, I asked the client their goals and then just do that. I know that sounds super obvious, but when you talk about problem areas, I've I've actually never once said to a woman like, oh, like, I know you said you want to work on like your glutes, but like your arms are pretty shitty, Like I think we might need to work on that. I've never said that. Like when I first meet a new client, we have three questions, goals,

injury history, and past training history. The last one don't really care that much about, but it just gives me an idea of what they like and don't like. But the goals in injury history are really the only things I care about, and it comes from the horse's mouth what they want to work on, and then we just do that within the constraints of their injury. And I also want to add that when there are trainers that do the same thing for every client, that's how you

get injured. It's I've done that. I've been injured with every trainer that I've ever worked with except for Ben, and so uh that one prescription for everybody does not work when people have you dancing around like a maniac, and that that doesn't work for everybody. And with like, for example, you're you're somebody that likes to do a lot of arms. I trained some women. We haven't done arms in three years. None we do all lower body and core and what's happening with their arms. They don't

want to work on their arms. They don't want muscle the I want muscular arms. Well, some women are uncomfortable with the level of muscularity in their arms. They want to back. Everybody is different, you know, and uh, guys are different in this regard. Some guys like being really in and their worst nightmares like being like all jacked up. Some guys like being bigger, and you know, women are the same way, beauties in the eye of the beholder. There's a lot of women that like a little bit

more muscle, some that don't. It just you know, it depends. And as a personal trainer, it's not my place to pass judgment on anything. It's just like basically doing what they want to do. Yeah, but his question was, how do you are you how do you remain appropriate when you're dealing with especially with training women. I mean, I think that's just that has nothing to do with being a trainer. I think that's just more not being a creep.

You know. I've always just kept it above board. I don't know how to really explain it because we laugh, we joke, But I think you know, there's never a question that it's like, you know, how do you think being a trainer in l A has affected or impacted your dating life helped you? No, I mean it doesn't have any bearing. I guess I think it has a lot of bearing. I mean you make a lot of connections just based on your social media because of your training.

So I think there is a linkage depends who you ask. Being a trainer is either like my friends tell me, for example, that I underplay my job a lot, because if you were to meet somebody you talk about how many trainers there are in l A, it seems like there's more trainers than people in l A. And most of the time in l A, when I think trainer, I think somebody that wants to be an actor or whatever and it's just training in their free time and

probably makes like ship money and you know whatever. And my friends always tell me with girls that I need to like talk my job up a little more because like, you know, if you just say you're a trainer, like this girl might think like you just have a shitty job. But to me that like like doing that or name dropping everybody trainer things as akin to taking your shirt off every day on social media. It's a real douchebag move.

So it's it's interesting you say the trainer thing, because sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Well, then what's your stance on dating a client? I've never done it. Would you do it? Yeah? But I never have. But I mean I would never just like hook up with a client. But if there's somebody that I really liked and whatever, then I mean I guess i'd have to like figure it out if that happened, but I would probably either stop training or like whatever.

But um, yeah, I think. I mean one of my friends it's a trainer, uh met his met his wife training. I mean, you know it's going strong. Yeah, it's been like twenty years. My point, I mean, you always meet people that you just like spend time with, so it could happen. It's just never it's actually never happened. But I'm not like, yeah, it could happen, but you have a lot of like fitness models hit you up on Instagram or like I feel like I feel like we've

talked about this a few times. Why anybody who's hooking up with you doesn't know you're hooking up with other people. Yeah, I mean unless you're in some serious relationship, which you're not. I mean, everybody needs kid and wife and kids. But everyone needs to understand as adults that if you're just hooking up with somebody, that's simply all that it is until you get to the next level, and there should be no hurt feelings about that. As long as everybody's like,

you know, not committing to anything. I mean, we're all single. Everybody's trying to get just get a nut. Amen, Amen's sister, love it, bro. Just just be glad you're not in the single dating world. Brandon, Well, I have one more question for Betton that's personal. So you're talking about once and needs, and recently I realized that twenty nine I need to start stretching before or after I work out,

which I never did. Yeah, let's do the stretching. What's the deal because I get conflicting reports all the time about what about stretching before. Yeah, there's so a lot of trainers. Now, you know, everything goes in waves. It's like same with food. You know, one point something is good, at one point something's bad. Stretching has fallen out of favor pre work out because people say it decreases your strength and force production. So a lot of people don't

think that you should stretch pre workout. Uh. I do believe in stretching pre work out for the most part for people that are tight, because one the people I'm training, if you told me, you know, we stretch at the beginning of every workout. But if you told me my new goal is to set the world record and squats, we wouldn't probably stretch pre workout. We would you know, stretch after, and we would just everything would be, you know,

singularly focused around that goal. And so if you know, I wouldn't want to maybe take the chance of your force production going down or whatever. But for most people's goals that are tight, I think the more you stretch,

the better. Uh. And stretching definitely does increase your mobility in the short term, so it allows you to get into the positions that you need to be in for the workout more effectively, like for example, those rear elevated split squats, if you didn't stretch your hip flexor's first, it might be tough for you to get into that position with an upright Torso like this is probably more nerdy than people want to get. But okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, Ben Bruno. We're gonna have to

wrap this up because I have to go Tanning. I would like to thank Brandon for being here today, and I would like to thank Ben Bruno for being here today. I will be on the road this weekend doing stand up. St. Louis sold out, but there are tickets to Minneapolis. You can get tickets to My Life will Be the Death of Me stand up comedy tour in Minneapolis, New Orleans, Nashville, coming up at Live nation dot com. Oh, in Australia, I'm announcing in New Zealand. Yeah, how are you like

a news stand up again? Oh? Brandon? And it's just coming back to my roots, you know what I mean. I just had to back my way right back into it. Well, I'll be seeing your Nashville and New Orleans. Oh is that right? Oh? Great? It'll be a whole family affair. Is my Bell coming as well? And on that note, I want to announce that all of the proceeds from my I Decide bracelets and the I Decide t shirts that I've been selling on tour, and they're also available

on my website, Chelsea Handler dot com. All the proceeds go to True Colors United, which helps l g B t q I A youth people who are homeless, have been kicked out of their homes and have nowhere to stay ahead. It helps them get jobs, It helps them with food and clothing and shelter and oh what else. There's another charitable organization where we donated the proceeds of my Atlanta show to do, the Feminist Center in Atlanta. It's the Feminist Center dot org if anyone out there

would like to make their own donation. UM. They're helping make sure that women have access and their rights, yes, and have access to safe healthcare in the state of Georgia. So there are lots of organizations that are trying to do great things while there are is a terrible administration trying to rip us apart. So don't lose faith. Okay, we'll be back next week with another podcast for you, So Stuck on that Life will be the Death of

Me as a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.