A Big REDdit Flag with Neal Brennan

Hello. This is Chelsea hand Job calling.

Hi Chelsea, this is Catherine. Where's Doug today?

Doug, it took a big shadoo bey on the carpet at my new house, the carpet that I haven't even used yet, really, so he peed on it the other day. But today this is actually a victory story because I walked out of the house and then Doug was so upset he went and shodo being on the rug right as and my bell was yelling at him to stop, and he continued and then lifted his leg up and peede looking at her in the eyes.

Oh my god.

It is a complete reversal of fortunes from when I had Burt. This is going great. I fucking love Doug. Doug loves me, he wants to be with me. He gets upset when I leave. Everything is working out perfectly. I just announced a bunch of dates for my stand up. So first of all, there are still tickets left for the Netflix is a Joke Festival Saturday night on May eleventh. I will be there at the YouTube Theater, so there

Excellent, Well, Chelsea, we have an exciting guest today.

I know he's a straight white male. Guys, so you know that he's okay, you better behave himself. Actually, otherwise he's going to go to jail.

We love to prioritize straight white males.

Now, we don't have a lot of straight white male guests on the show, but sometimes we do, and today is one of those days.

There are some kind of tricky questions for him.

Oh good. In fact, I like to put a straight man on the hot seat. Please welcome Neil Brennan. Hi, Neil Brennan, what Hi?

Hi?

First of all, congrats on your your latest special. How many specials have you had?

I've had three and a half. I had to do a half hour for some reason after my first. It was it was stupid three and a half hours.

You had to do a half hours. Oh that's degrading.

But I had already done and it was stupid.

Neil Brennan has a new special on Netflix called Crazy Good. It just came out. It's fucking funny. Catherine and I both watched it. Neil Brennan is one of the funniest comics out there, so if you're not familiar with him, you should. He's drinking a bottle of Mountain Spring flat water from what I can.

Tell, sparkling, sparkling, thank you.

Oh the red one is okay, all right, that's better. That's at least better, thank you. And he also has a podcast called Blocks, which rhymes with well cough. It rhymes with but Neil, I didn't realize how much you struggled with depression your whole life.

Really, you couldn't just tell.

Well, I think you know what, All male comics strike me. Not all, I shouldn't say all, but most male comics strike me as slightly depressed. So it becomes part of the package, you know, like being around comics. I mean, I think most comics are slightly depressed. It's not even just men.

I'm curious as to what your estimation of female comics is because I think I kind of agree with you about males. But I'm wondering. I'm like, how would I categorize female comic? Is it like people pleasing or something?

No, I think I mean, I'm thinking right now about probably a lot of people we have in common, and a couple of the girls have light depression, but generally as an overall sentiment, I don't find female comics depressed in the way that I do find male comics depressed.

I agree, but I'm wondering, what would you How would you categorize them? Anxious?

Maybe anxious? I don't want to say people pleaser, because I find most comics are actually female comics these days are not people pleasers. They're more like fuck off, Like we've been through enough so just everyone could go fuck themselves. Is that that's more of an overarching theme and attitude among women. So I don't know what the drive for women is. It's an interesting Yeah, is it.

Like maybe like frustrate anger, like generalized anger and frustration about the way society is set up and the way Yeah, the sexism of nature. I'm now thinking about how sexist nature is, just with like periods and just all the stuff you guys have to go through that we kind of don't. It would make me insane if I had to do it.

Yeah, women do have to deal with a lot of bullshit, but you're also so inured to it that it becomes like a period having to like constantly prove yourself or with that a woman is funny or that a woman is successful. I think the thing that irks women the most is the lack of respect that we get from men, and especially male comics to female comics. There's that dynamic

Well, what's funny is I have Like I was going to start by saying how much respect I have for you, because it's you know when you like first hear about somebody and I'd heard you'd written a book. It was like seven o eight. I'd heard you written a book and that the book was selling well. And then I saw you crush and then you then you were on e crushing for ten years or whatever, and just like you just crush and you You're a huge draw and you have millions of fans, like I feel like I've

I was like with you, no, let me preface this myself, but.

I didn't even but I agree with you, like I I agree with you that it is like because I feel like in some ways, everybody feels like an underdog. I think everybody show feels like an underdog. I feel like I was for a long time like Dave's plus one, David Chappelle's plus one, like we were the show together and then I was like pretending to do stand up and then slowly but surely it was like, oh, oh, so I feel like I was able to earn not like I earned it as if I was a woman.

So, but I also think earning things sometimes it takes longer. You're not the front and center person. You're kind of out of an attachment to somebody else, which kind of countibults you into the spotlight in a different way. Can feel not like what you want at the beginning, but when you have achieved the success that you've had and earning it feels right, doesn't it. Like working that hard and hustling that hard feels good.

Yeah, because you look back on the things that you were like I should have gotten that, and then you it's like I didn't realize how good I would have to be before people go okay, fine, yeah, it's like I, how hard do you need me to throw the ball? And they were just like harder. We don't know why, right, oh it harder. And I'd be like all right here and then they'd be like, okay, you're good. But it took so from my point of be mind bendingly long

I can relate to what you're saying a great deal because I also find out, like even when you are successful, which I've been successful for so many years since I was, you know, in my probably late twenties, early thirties, and there were periods in my life where I had to prove and reprove the same shit I had already been successful at. And you're like, oh my god, are you fucking kidding me? Like I remember taking a break from stand up for six years after my Elsey Lately show.

Yeah, it's embarrassing, but the good news is, I think it kind of happens to everybody. Yeah, I really do, Like I think every I think even I won't name guys, but where you're like, hm, I don't know. I think it's maybe it's worse for women, but I think it's certainly exists for guys, and it's a terrible business for everyone involved.

I didn't realize you went to Catholic school. I thought, Neil, I thought you were a Jew.

I know. Well, the thing I say is, I'm not Jewish. I just have.

Allergies, and you look a little Jewish, And no, of course I'm a Jew. So I know a Jew when I see one.

You see like, apparently I have some of the features and the good joke writing. So yeah, but I went to Catholic school for twelve years.

Yeah, well that'll fuck anybody up. But I was really really curious to learn about all of the shit that you've had to try to help your depression. And I want to talk about all of this stuff and what your reactions to all of this. TMS HGH gave you panic attacks, ketamine, aahuasca, and DMT, and then you flew to China to do intense TMS.

So yes, I don't this was not just this sounds like I was just spinning a wheel and be like fuck it TMS again. It was a progression from just the basic therapy medication. Kind of hit a wall. I'd Zoloft help for about ten years, kind of hit a wall and then heard about TMS.

Well, waitit, let's define what TMS is. Can you tell?

Okay, yes, I will. TMS is called transcranial magnetic stimulation. It is a basically, it's kind of an MRI plate or helmet like sort of wand that they kind of put over your part of your head and then they fire an MRI beam and it's like sounds. It feels like a low energy woodpecker and it doesn't feel bad. We just kind of like this is odd and it works for people, and it worked for me.

And what is it supposed to do. It's designed to stimulate something.

It activates the electricity of brain cells, is my understanding. I could be missed.

I could be completely misinformed.

Yes, I know the word stimulation is in the title. So let's say it stimulates some neurons to get back to work, so to speak.

And why did you go to China for this?

Well? Okay, so I did TMS probably ten years ago in West La. I think it was about forty sessions. It's like three days, four days a week and it's a half hour you sit there watch TV. And then that it worked for a while, and then I just after maybe six years, I felt like I needed a

And then the TMS. I think you mean it worked pretty well? Know the TMS really is it like a moodlifter.

It's none of it. It's like a moodlifter. It's not nothing's like cocainey or like you know mdmash where it's like boying. It's more just like the floor comes up a little bit, you know what I mean, in your mood. And that's how what I found with all this stuff. Zoloft was big.

What about the ketamine, Well.

Ketamine I didn't like it. See I've had like part twos with all these things. First time I did Keademy, it was like nine years ago, didn't work, didn't like it, found the experience of it sort of like a goofy drug expers no long term positive effects. And then the big one for me was ayahuasca. Oh, which you did.

Once, right, yeah, twice and two in two days. I didn't see you're right?

So yeah. So in twenty twenty, somebody sent me an article about ayahuasca and they're like, we got to do this. I then get a hookup, we do it, and it was like good. It was like, oh, this is good in a way I can't really it was. It felt like sort of connected, you know. And in order to do it you have to go off Zoloft. So I'd gone off Zoloft and was doing it, and then I did it again and I basically had my third time. I like woke up and I was like, oh, I'm

Oh well that's a huge success story then And how long ago was that?

Four years ago?

Wow?

I fucking love that story. Where did you do that in La?

Yeah? Near six Flags? Thanks fr asking perfect?

I love six Flags? What a safe environment for you?

What wonderful? The screaming? Yeah, so so that was that's been great. And then I did five MEO DMT.

I did that too, and I ended up naked because I had to rip my clothes off. That's how bad I was. It was the worst experience I've ever had with the drug. Was five dm EOT a.

Different experience where I just had the basic you inhales? Did we explain it? It's basically a toad secretion that they dry and they scrape it, put it in a pipe and you smoke it and you get you go to Where did you go when you Inhale? Where did you go?

Great question? I went to the darkest. I'm a positive, upbeat, typically upbeat person. I'm a pragmatist. I don't really get upset. I mean I get upset, but I don't get depressed. I don't struggle with what we're talking about. That was the darkest I've ever felt in my life. I didn't prepare for it, you know, like I didn't cleanse. I kind of did it off the cuff. Somebody was doing it. I'm like, I'll try that. So that was stupid too.

Well, Chelsea, I went to what another person described, Michael Polland, who wrote a book called How to Change Her Mind. He described smoking DMT, and he went to the same place that I went to, which is before the Big Bang. Insane. It was insane. I told somebody I was aiming for God, and I missed my stop. I went past everything, and then, but at last, about thirty five minutes, I was I was in a white void. I didn't know what breathing was,

Wave man, even on your feet.

Further, we're talking about molecule.

I was a mom okay, okay, wow wow.

Yes it was wild. And then slowly but surely, my sort of human consciousness came back into me over about thirty five minutes to the point where like pettiness would come back in and I was like, no, we're not doing that anymore. Like I was trying to like rebuild. So it was like, you know, I inhaled at eight, I was walking home at nine. I was in New York, and uh, that was fine. Right a week later, I have what's called a reactivation, like a flashback. So now

Wow, that's a good that's a positive story, I know, but it's scary scary also.

And talk about earning it, like got the I got the transformation, but like I had to work for every inch of it.

Sounds like it. Did you feel like you had your ego with ayahuasca that feels like an ego killer as well.

I don't the thing about the ego seeing this as ego or not. I think my experiences were it's always going to be from my point of view. I've never had an experience where it wasn't a first person whether I'm a molecule or I don't think that.

I don't think that's what I mean by saying. If it like, it can still be your perspective. But you are, like I remember Ayahuasca, I was like I was. I was the spirit of me rather than the physical me, you know, the spirit of me looking at the spirit of my sister, looking at the spirit of the situation, looking at everything from above, and I'm I'm me, But I'm not attached to me and my ego. I'm attached to the natural good outcome of the situation.

Yeah, I would. I would say that the thing that I've gotten from it is my values are sort of better overall, like my ethics or like what I crave. There's more to the story also. So then so that's like twenty twenty one, right, then this year they're about the last calendar year, twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four.

And yeah, no, all those drugs are good things, you know. I think everyone's realizing that now, especially are you sober?

Like basically like I couldn't tell you the last time I had a drink, but I don't.

It's not like a thing, right, You're not interested? Okay? So are you? Do? You think you're good at giving advice?

Neil, I love it. Whether it's good or not. It's a whole lot of one.

That's exactly what we're going to find out. We're going to find that out today.

I'm no what all's no.

Perfect Okay, So we are going to take a break and we're going to be right back.

If you need advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group, the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on, or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and we're back. We are back. Are you ready to lunch?

Ready?

Nail's ready, I'm fucking ready. You're ready, Ayahuasca's ready? By dat. We should do a episode where we're all on MDMA.

That sounds that I'm doing.

Yeah.

Well, our first question comes from Katie and she's in New York. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I've always been really right there. He is like three or four years older than her, but I've always been really frank with him that I'm not okay with him using porn. I think it's super demeaning and generally ruins your sex. I thought catching him in the act with porn would be the worst thing

Yes, yes it does. We'll gonna talk to Neil in a second about it, but I'm pretty sure it does.

Yeah.

Instead, I be scared to bring him around my teenage nieces. Will he be attracted to me as I age? Most importantly, is this a deal breaker? Katie?

Let's talk about porn? Neil, you're a straight mail tell us what the deal is?

I think, well, I have a lot of thoughts about it. One of them is, guys, don't realize that it's science fiction. It's not real. It's as real as the best analogy is. It's as real as fast and Furious is to driving. It's like, yeah, you're not driving off of buildings onto aircraft carriage. It's stupid. Most porn it's just dumb and cartoonish,

Yeah, okay, so we've got the porn figured out sort of, But what do you have to say about younger because this is important And she used the word non consensual.

Because it's sort of like creepy picture has taken while this woman was not aware of.

But that's yes, But she's a public person, so she's gonna get pictures taken of her. But the other thing is younger women. Okay, Neil, let's talk about men and younger women. What are your thoughts on this guy looking at pictures of a girl that's hardly legal, and what does that make you think about him.

I've never had a predilection for a younger one. I always dated older women. Whatever. Again, I'm an ally.

And there's nothing that's me and there's nothing we can do about it.

No. I love menopause and I always will, so I think it's some of its kind of gross if you get into like peak human fertility. If you go deeper and deeper and deeper, it's like a guy, we're attracted to fertility, and women are attracted to guys with big shoulders and jaws and foreheads and providers and all that stuff. If you get into the reality of it, it's pretty gross, right, So,

Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just think, like, I don't know, there's a lot of guys out there that wouldn't be interested in looking at a girl that age, do you know what I mean? There are men that are more but sure than that, that that are like that doesn't turn me on because they know enough now to understand that a woman at that age is not mature enough to understand you're not on a level even playing field. I don't care if anybody watches porn whatever,

Why.

Yes, So when she's saying this is the one, it's like, is it is it the one? Because it sounds like you already believe that. So nothing I'm gonna say is gonna change your mind. But I would say, ew, he sounds gross.

Yes, I totally agree either, So of course I mean an a So you know what I'm gonna say, guys, but I think in some ways most guy sexual predilections are gross just by the fact that it's coming from a guy. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's a McDonald's. You can took Kobe Beef on it, it's still McDonald it's still gross. So you know, it's like, what should

Let me ask you a question from a male perspective. If you had a girlfriend and you found her doing what this woman is describing. She found Shay she was looking at pictures of some underage actor. Who's a good underage actor. I want to say Timothy Shallamy.

But he's Ben Wolfard was one with all these like fifty year old moms were like getting tattoos of his face when he was eleven and being like he's so hot.

Like if you found air your girlfriend looking at pictures of a young celebrity that was not eighteen years old, how would you react and how would that make you feel?

This is like that movie where Matthew McConaughey gives a big speech in court at the end and changes the whole point of like what.

A time to kill That was a time to kill Miquel.

It's a time to kill. I would think she's a little bananas what Like.

I wouldn't if I if I saw a guy looking at a young girl like, I would be done. I'm not interested in that. I don't like that.

No, if I knew what, yeah, yeah, you're you're once, I'm like, Yeah, if I if I was dating a woman who liked looking at underage dick Prince, I'd be like, you know what, I think we've done everything we can here.

Yeah, it feels like a deal breaker. That's her name, Katie, Katie.

I'm sorry. I know you think this is the one and you probably will marry him and you won't listen to me. But I would say, honestly, that's a big red flag, a big red Reddit flag.

Does this mean he's into kids? Maybe not? But do you want to be the one to find out?

Oh?

Exactly. It's like, there are many people in the world. Everyone needs to stop talking about the one. There are millions of ones. Just find someone else.

It's not that hard find a better one.

And when you find a better one, you're like, I have a great one, and I'm like, I'm so glad I waited.

Yeah, that's true.

Once you find you're like, oh yeah, I knew that I could get like a suit that fit better. You know what I mean.

It's so profound, Neil, you're like a profit. You're like an ally profit.

I do a lot of things apart a lot of profit works.

Yes, well, our next question comes from Dylan. She writes, Dear Chelsea, I met my husband in September twenty twenty one and married him six months later, super quick. I know I was single for eight years prior to meeting him, and I knew that he was here on a student visa to get his masters, but I didn't know the deadline was quickly approaching. At that point. He offered me three options. One, we could continue dating while he married

Dylan, Hi, Dylan, Hi, guys, this is Neil Brennan. He's our special ghost today.

Hey, good to meet you.

We wanted you to have advice from a straight male and straight females.

Ooh, Okay, this is new.

Honestly, that really sucks, and I would probably I think that that something probably is happening that you don't know about and leading to that, Like it's all very shady and it's pretty obvious, like you shouldn't. Nobody has carries on those relationships with people unless there aren't like emotional feelings, you know what I mean. This isn't some friend he's

Her, or like she's a backup you know.

Yeah, Neil, what do you have to say?

I would agree wholeheartedly. Like I again, not to be the very bad news, but there's no point in who's got that much bandwidth for like a romantic relationship and then like a platonic plus relationship. Also that like work wife thing. It's like when I when people started saying where I'm like, this's the person you're gonna fuck when you guys break up. It's not your work wife, it's like your miss. It's your open miss. You're my future mistress.

Okay, have the two of them ever met in person or it has been strictly virtual the whole time.

Just virtual?

Okay, it's just weird.

And it's also like your your alarm bells were already going off and then you had a fight and he kind of delivered the information that should be the end of the relationship, like he was going to go visit her if you guys didn't get back together. That's kind of your answer.

The relationship with the work wife, or the relationship.

With Dylan, the relationship with the work the work wife, Like he was going to go visit that girl, right, he told you that when you guys got in this fight, So like that's your answer. And I feel like I think the one the biggest disservice women due to ourselves is not listening to the warnings. You know, don't let him talk you into whatever it's. His behavior demonstrates it all by itself. You don't need to have any conversations

It's not really a good time for that. Just like personally between the two of us, we just signed a new lease on a house, so we're moving again, and.

It's a two year lease.

So I don't know if I should go to him with like a compromise because I don't really have guy friends with that type of relationship, or if I should just say, like, hey, like this just needs to end period. There's nothing I need to do to make this better.

I'm just going to say, even if you signed a year lease, a two year lease with yes, you can give him an ultimatum, but I'm sure that he's going to continue talking to her behind your back. That's what I would predict will happen. And I would also say, and I know, I don't know what kind of financial position you're in, but I would say the fact that you signed a least with him for two years does not mean you can't break up with him, Okay, you have to figure out a way, like to say, listen,

I just yeah, you may have to buy your freedom, but it'll be worth it.

Yeah, and I know that doesn't sound good, but it will be worth it. I would hate to see you waste another two years of your life with somebody that is like that.

Yeah, there's no I think the I think good thing that a lot of people do is talk yourself out of what you know. I me like, no, And also, I want to be a Relationships are hard work. They're not that hard, you know what I mean, Like, they're not they don't require that much grace and generosity on your part, Like this is so far beyond the pale to me. I'm with what Chelsea said, which is like, try to get out of it.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I hate to give you that kind of answer. You know, we all do because it sucks. But you decide what your value is. Like we all kind of decide what we're going to tolerate and what we're not. And I really think this is a moment in your life where you have to decide what are you worth to yourself? Okay?

Yeah, all right?

Yeah, and I and try not to let the financial aspect of making a commitment. He can find another roommate or find another go get that girl to move in whatever I want you to free up and go meet the person you're really supposed to be with.

Okay.

Yeah, you can lose the security deposit. You can make that money again, but you can't get that time back.

Okay.

Yeah, and yeah, show yourself some respect.

Yeah. Thanks, sending you a lot of love, honey.

All right, I appreciate it.

Thanks Dylan.

Bye.

We've had some bad news on this podcast today.

It's not usually is.

I mean, it's like doctor Phil, but.

Not really breaking people up. Well, hopefully we can help Maria. She's just trying to get late.

So oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't bet on it.

Well, Neil, you're just single. You can have sex with her if she needs somebody to have sex with her.

I'm not single. I have a lady. Oh, oh shit, I said that I have a I have a lady now and it's like a custom mates. It's awesome.

Oh that's so nice that she's not a comedian.

No, is this the one you went on the coffee date with and went into another?

Nope, nope, this woman's actually a therapist, it's all.

It's his therapist.

Actually, by a therapist, I mean my therapist. Yes, and it was actually my couples therapists with my act kidding, I kid, I kid, it's.

Like Johnny deppan is divorce attorney, but a beautiful romance.

Well, Maria is twenty three, so she's too young anyway.

Yeah, you're not allowed to talk to her.

She's three. I should go, so, she says, Dear Chelsea, my name's Maria and I'm a twenty three year old woman and I've lately been having issues navigating relationships. A lot of my close friends and family are the old ball and chain type, and after seeing that shit, no thanks. I also grew up going to Catholic school, so casual sex and dating was never really an option. However, since I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that I just want to be alone with myself and my dogs, Drew, Marrymore

Oh m hm.

This took a lot out of me and made me realize at this point, I just want sex and attention. I'm talking freer than a public restroom, and I honestly don't know how to go about that. I flirt with men for attention, and I've been super open with them about that, but it always ends with them buying me gifts and becoming possessive. And then with women, we'll sleep together and then they get emotionally invested and social media stock me. One even put an air tag on my car.

Maria, Hi, Maria, Hi, this is our special guest Neil Brennan today. Hi Maria, Hey, Well, good for you for having so many options. I envy that. I think that all these dating sites, you know, you can make it very clear on Tinder, unhinge on all these things, all these platforms, that you're not looking for anything serious and that you are looking for casual fun encounters, and people appreciate that honesty, and you're going to find people that

Okay, okay, Maria, I have a question as a man, you said you're flirting with men for attention, and then are you taking all the all the sexual energy and bringing it to women and then having sex with them or are you do you sleep with the men sometimes?

I sleep with the guys sometimes.

I like and then they get what if they were nineteen Chelsea, would you like her style? Then?

There legal. I don't know anything about allyship at all.

I'm a bad ally. I just remembered I directed half of the first season of Amy Schumer, so that again put another chip on the ally if I'm ever in trouble. So okay, so and the guys are getting you tell the guys that it's you like to keep it sexual, and they're getting attached.

Also, yeah, that's only because yeah, men are so you're saying that, yes exactly, and they.

Know that if you said I can't wait to see you again, you would never see them exactly.

That's actually a right tactic. You should just completely switch tactics and say you're looking for a relationship and you will get the opposite response.

Yeah, and be like, whoops, I slept with you. Yeah, and go up, I fucked you. I accidentally fucked you.

And if you don't want to see that person again after you fuck them, say I love you. Yeah, I can't say it during sex. Say it during sex, and you will never ever see that person again.

Make eye contact.

This is for the men only. And I don't know what goes on in lesbian circles like I only I mean, I only have lesbian friends. I have ever been operated in a lesbian relationship. So, but yes, I would say throw actually throw out everything I said and go with what Neil said and just say you're looking for love, and then you won't have any problems.

Okay, okay, well yeah, do lesbian? I mean, I feel like lesbians would be like I may. They might say, I also love you, I'm getting to love you. Am I wrong? Am I stereotyping?

I think you're.

I love that line. I'm going to use that line. I'm getting to love you too. That's what I must say the next time someone's.

In that direction, I'm not there yet, they get into it. I wonder how you could handle it with lesbian if you said I'm not interested, would they take you? Would they would they take your word for it? Are they taking your word for it? And now?

No?

They they take it as a challenge.

They're like, okay, so, like, what do I have to do to make you like me again?

Like?

Why did it stop so annoying? It's just like you're just trying to have some casual set.

Yeah. Literally, I think we have a good plan for the guys. I don't I feel unqualified to give you directions for lesbians.

I feel like you gotta like bang them and block them like you got it, or be like, hey, your friend's really cute. Can you introduce me to her?

Like that's kind of a douchebag, Yeah, if you're a dick, Yeah.

That makes sense.

Yeah. And if that doesn't work, fake your own death.

Have you thought about faking your own obviously?

Like?

Who has it? Okay, stay strong and I'm so happy you're having so much sex. Good for you, thank you, thank you. I'm Maria. But what city background was?

She's in Chicago, and Chicago is the best city to be young and queer in, especially for lesbians. It is the best, is it? We have a whole neighborhood of lesbians of lesbians. It's called Anderson Mill.

That's oh, it should be called And you know what's.

Funny is that you guys start reading the letter and then you'll and then I paint a picture of them in my head, and then you bring them on camera like halfway through the letter. It should be part of the show, like a game show, like what do you think this person looks like? Yeah? And then they come up and it's never what I'm over to.

So far, we have to take a break, Neil on that thoughtful interaction that we just had. We have to take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, and we're back.

We are back.

That was our break and we're back.

Yes, we have a little quickie to wrap up with. Okay, great, the email is slightly long, but.

You know the I have a question. I have a question about quickies real quick. When you say let's have a quickie, right, as a woman, let's have a quickie, do you expect that you'll have an orgasm or is it just to get the sexual energy an orgasm?

Okay, yeah, yeah, we want to come yeah, like five minutes or less, like make it happen.

Yeah, yeah, Look, I didn't love your tone. Didn't love either of your tone. Understood, will do it. I have a very mercenary approach to sex, which is like I go in for you the pardoner, to have an orgasm, and then once you're all set, then I go okay, now it's my turn.

Perfect.

That's what most men should be doing. Yes, you go in service your woman and then you can penetrate her.

Yeah, and that's not even the that's not even that well you're now you're saying, is the penetration wouldn't give her an organ which as an ally, I know that it often does. Well.

I know from talking to people that you've had sex with that you are not what you're doing doesn't result in a lot of orgasms.

You That is not true. That is I can't. I'm thinking about the people you could.

Have read a letter I was gonna say, Neil, I was very pleased with your sex advice for guys.

Also very very Yes, I actually was too. You were paying attention and you were really listening, and that's a good quality in a man.

Thank you. Yeah, I thought it was, so it's great to hear it.

Nicky says dear Chelsea. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost six years. We're in a very serious relationship, live together, and are in the midst of preparing to get engaged and build a life together. The only problem is that he is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We both come from a very liberal metropolitan city, and when we first started dating, I was naive enough to think

That's good for Republicans, Yes, exactly. I know.

I was young, dumb and in love and I just didn't notice. We've had our ups and downs with politics, and certainly had our growing pains, and even broke up twice over it. So she goes on to say like he's generally really respectful with her and respects her opinions, he actually wants to talk about things with her, and she gets very sort of like upset with him and emotional, but she says, other than that, he is a really wonderful, sweet person, extremely loving and generous. His friends are even

This is one of these things where it's like if two women who I'm assuming are liberal or Democrats, right, what do you think when a guy's Republican? Do you just assume that what assumptions do you make?

Great question? I assume that they are cheap? I assume that they're not as open minded with the LGBTQ community. You know, they have their own opinions about anti trans is a big one. And also what about abortion? I mean yeah, you know, yeah, I was just gonna say, like, you're taking away people's rights, actively supporting a party that's taking away women's and other people's rights. So I don't really I couldn't do it be with a Republican, but

Yeah, so yeah, I.

Mean that is that.

That's what I'm curious about. It's like, what you know, It's like some people are Republican, but they're like not about certain things, And is it worth making a distinction, and is it just like, well, do you think I should stay? Should I should? Twenty six thousand women in Texas have to give birth because of rape, you know that statistic that in the last eighteen months. Thinks so like oh God, like shit, that's so dire and depressing and you're like, do you you know, do you support that?

And I don't What do you think about people who say that they don't support that but they're still a Republican.

I think that they are naive.

Yes, I agree with you, you know what.

I mean, Like, I think they're either naive at best and lying at worst. You know what I mean.

Yeah, you know it's a hard answer. It's another this is another DeBie downer. I would say, I can't do it. If you could do it, great, if you could get past it, great, if you can just divorce yourself and departmentalize, you know, your relationship in that way that you guys aren't going to agree that I'm that, then good for you. But I wouldn't be able to do that.

Yeah, and I mean asterisk. If he's not voting at all, does it matter? I mean it does, but well, you know, is he not voting or did he not in the midterms? But if he's not voting at all, then, like, I don't know, maybe it's less of an issue.

Yeah, if he's not voting, great, well.

Yeah, if we can count on it raining every election, and then this is this relationship is definitely going to work. But the minute the sunshines, watch out.

Neil. You were a delight.

It was great to spend time with you.

I loved having you on and everyone you have to watch his special and then you have to watch his other specials because you are a fucking very talented man and you're very funny. And it's called Crazy Good and it's on Netflix. And Neil also has a podcast called Blocks.

That's right.

What kind of things do you talk about on What do you talk about on Blocks?

Yeah? Well, so I had a special called Blocks where I talked about my emotional blocks, right, and then so now I have other comedians come on, and like Letterman came on, and Bill Burr and Bert and Tom and you know, Jimmy Carr, just a bunch of people, hopefully Chelsea, Nikki Glazer, whatever, Trevor Noah just did good people do it and they're kind of very sweetly emotionally forthcoming.

Oh clear.

So it's interesting. Yeah, like it's you would actually be like, you'll probably like more of most of the people more than you thought you did, because they you actually hear like, oh, Tom Segura was sad to go on the road because he was going to miss his kid. Oh shit, like that letterman didn't leave the studio until the sun went down if he had a bad show. And I was like, Dave, that's like eight thirty nine, and he goes, no, we're

It was he also fucking his assistant.

If you think I didn't see you, think that joke didn't come into the teleprompter else when he said it and I didn't say it, Chelsea. Not every joke has to be said, Chelsea.

Okay, Well, Neil, that sounds like a great podcast. I would love to be on anytime.

But you're inviting hit me up, don't threaten me with a good time.

Yeah.

Well, we're going to get to the bottom of you.

We're going to get back to the bottom of your ally ship is.

What We're going to get to the bottom, right we are?

Thank you, Neil.

It was great to spend having by. Are you guys? Bye?

Thanks Maye.

Okay, guys, So for stand Up, we added a second show in Sydney, and we added a second show in Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May twenty fourth. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year. That's August seventeenth, the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at Santa Rosa on August second, and we added two dates at Hawaii. Guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July nineteenth

If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com