Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life.
I'm Cut, I'm Laura, and I'm.
Brittany, and we have a huge episode for you today. We are speaking with Olivia Rogers. Now Olivia, she was Miss Universe Australia. She's an author, she's a speech pathologist, she's an overachiever, She's divine.
She has also, though, been in the media quite a lot recently, and the reasons for that haven't been around her successes or the things that she has created for herself, of course.
Not because that would be ridiculous.
She has been in the media because of her divorce. She was married for eight months and it was very polarizing the way in which the media spoke about the breakdown of her marriage. We wanted to talk to Olivia about redefining the breakup narrative and also about an article that came out last year which dubbed it the micro marriage, and how she felt about seeing her own experience her relationship being talked about in such a negative life.
She also speaks about something pretty important and that is surrounding the want and desire to have a baby and how maybe that was a bit of a band aid.
To try and fix the relationship.
Well, yeah, not a literal band aid, like a baby band aid, but we hear it so much right where people think that maybe a marriage will fix a broken relationship, or having a baby might make the relationship better. And the thing I loved about what Olivia spoke about is this idea that you might not even realize that you're doing it, that they may be the reasons why you want something so bad until you're out of the relationship.
A very very honest, raw and open chat.
Now we also speak about something that has made quite the stir on Instagram, and that is a post by Snazzana and Sam Wood.
Yes, I feel very strongly about that one. And then you, Laura, have a oh I think it's funny. I don't know if I'm hard to laugh. A ridiculously unfortunate story surrounding your wedding.
Yeah, all that and more, let's get into it. Holy duly, it has been a week. What a wild morning and it's only Tuesday. It's nine Monday, Okay, I know, but people listening to this are gonna think it's Tuesday and that it's confusing for them.
It is Monday morning, nine thirty in the morning when we're recording this, and I feel like so much has already happened.
We've been in hysterics all morning.
There's been boxes of vibrators and Dodos and penis strokers floating around.
We spoke about it on last week's episode, how no one ever sends us things, and then someone brought us a vibrator and we were really excited about it.
And now they're coming hot. They're like kidding us in the head. They're flying in left, front and center.
Literally everybody is sending us vibrators right now, and we've had enough.
Keisha's looking at me like we need more.
No.
Keisha's like one for you, one for me, one for me, one for me, one for you, one for me.
Keisha's vibrator collection from being the producer of this show is out of fucking control.
Now. There is one that came in that was like addressed to Ben. It was like, Brittany can take this for Ben. I've never seen it before, and I just want.
To ask you. Actually I think I know the answer.
But it's like this little U shape it's called a stroker, and the penis, I think, lays in it like a.
Little glides on it. Do you know what it looks like? It'd look like a.
Hot dog, you know, put your frank fit into the hot dog bun.
It's like a little bun hugger.
It's a bun hugger. It's a Frankfurt. Do you know what hot dogs? I've got a bones pick. Matty also has a cock a bone. He's got a penis too. Why didn't he get a cop ring?
Why don't Why.
Don't he get a it's a hot dog? But my question is does matt use that stuff? Because I don't feel like he would. Maybe we could do you.
Know what I'm picturing.
I'm just picturing you laying in bed with a hot dog in your hand, and he just has to go and put it in there.
It's probably a good thing he didn't get sent one. There's a lot, guys, there is so much to unpack.
Something else that happened before we get into like the real nitty gritty of the episode Another life thing I wanted to tell you about, Britt. Last night I received our full length of our wedding video.
Oh that's exciting. Yeah, can I see it? Not yet, Okay. So Matt and I are laying in bed together. We were like so excited with the hot dog, with that hot dog. I was just holding it for them.
He was just docked in a hot dog, and I was like, now's the time for us to romantically watch our wedding video together. So we got given a short clip of it last week and I put up on social media.
This week, we received the long form version of it, any of the teaser, the wedding teas.
So we lay down in bed to watch the video together and it starts playing and it's like quite a beautiful song that starts playing, and then all of a sudden, in the song is the name of Matt's ex girlfriend.
What do you mean? I mean like, it's a love song that has a name in it.
So it's like X name, I love you so much, X name, I can't live without you X name.
I knew that. I so say it's Sally. It's like Sally, I can live with them.
Literally, Sally, You're the one Sallo Ruster sala.
Oh my god.
So that's the background, that's the tracking music to your wedding video is his ex's name.
It was like a cruel joke. It's like a you want candy camera. I thought I was being punked.
So I don't want to say the X whose name it was, because that's just gonna turn into a Daily Mount article. But there it is in this beautiful and it's a gorgeous video.
It's so well beautifully put together.
We look so happy, and there's the backing track, which was I will never love anyone like I love You's name.
Surely it's a stitch up.
No, I was gonna say, surely, that's like just an oversight.
You don't pay. You're paying this. It's not like it's just no, yeah, you're paying the videographer. It has to have been the biggest oversight. You're gonna have to show me. Obviously you're not gonna play here, but you're gonna have to show me. Okay, here's my question though.
If you're a videographer and you're creating a wedding video for someone, why would you choose a song that has a name of someone who's not in the video, like, why would you think that that's a good song to choose. My name is Laura, his name is Matt, and here is a song about Sally and how much Matt loves Sally.
I am gonna have to hear it to make an educated opinion. Can we take a more break out and watch it now? Okay, Oh my god, oh my god. It is literally that Okay, firstly beautiful video. You look very happy and you look like a supermodel. I cannot believe this is a like just for you guys playing at home, because Laura's never going to play that because that would be wild. It's literally like there's only one person in the world for me. It's you, Sally, Like
that's what it is. And I can't wait to be with you or forever and if there's no one else that I can ever hot dog with except you.
I don't want to give too much of the lyrics away because they also don't want people to go and google the song and then to be able to find.
It out, so I'm gonna pay them all now.
Basically, they're saying like, I'm never going to fall in love again after falling in love with you, like that's the lyrics. The lyrics are like it's you, like you're the only person I'm going to fall in love with, and then he married me.
What it's sane is what it's saying is Laura is the prize at the carnival because I didn't get the good prize, Like I couldn't win a big teddy bear, which is you?
So I'm going to take.
This little skunk. No, I went home with the used to showbag instead. No, they're expensive, they're pretty good. Yeah, and that's the one you pick, So that's fine, right, No, that is so funny. I hope you're not too upset, but it's definitely unintentional. I'm going to call it's unintentional. I okay, I'm not upset. I'm not upset. I definitely for a minute cut in.
I'm not upset.
Guys, I am not upset. You know when someone's upset and they're trying to convince you everything's fine. I'm fine, everything is fine.
I just stopped talking to me because I'm on the verch.
I was laying in bed next to Matt and I just looked at him and I was like, did that just say what I think it's set, and he looked at me and was like, yeah, I think it did.
And I was like, well, this is fucking awkward, isn't it.
Did you laugh though, or were you just bit like I'm actually upse I.
Haven't laughed yet, but I mean I did. Now that's nice. Okay.
Well, while we're on the love train, whether it is loving your ex'es or your current partner, your current husband.
Your wife, we need to do a big.
Congratulations, a big shout out to our good friend Rebel Wilson, who just got.
Engaged this morning.
Yeah, she kept that exclusive from us, didn't she. Yeah, she could have dropped it right, She could have sent me in. I could have been there, like no, I was in Disneyland. I don't know the details. I haven't spoken to her. I've left her a voice message, but it's really sweet and it's funny because it was only ten days ago. Now. We did an episode where we're talking about how quickly things are moving and how life can.
Change so much, and then a week later it's changed again. So it's so nice to see. We love love.
That's the whole reason why we started this podcast, and we talk about it.
Ex boyfriends. Yeah, but you know.
What, mostly because we love love, all right, there's something else that's happened in the media world, in the influence of world this week, and we wanted to talk about it because we had some polarizing feels about this one. And now let me say this first, we kind of had a bit of a fight over whether we should talk about this. Britt you wanted to speak about I like that. I'm bread combing what it is. Basically, it's Sam and s Nazana have been in the news recently
because Da Da Dah. Snazana posted a photo on Valentine's Day of their very expensive cars and said him and her staying in tonight or something of that effect.
I think the reason we decided to talk about this is for me, it made me quite angry.
And what made me angry is not Snazzana's post.
It's not the fact that they're worth seventy million dollars congratulations, that's amazing. What made me a bit upset and angry is the response from the media and from other people over the fact that they have made money and they are successful. Now, what we're talking about is on Valentine's Days, Nazana put a photo up of some beautiful vehicles that she owns out the front of a beautiful house.
It was a black Mercedes Benz G Class very nice, and a white Porsche. I thought it was a king, but apparently it's not. That it's something else and a word. I think it's a push.
Well, we don't know because we don't have them. I think it's like a kror kr yep. Really we are well into the cargage. Yeah, this morning Laura was like, what's a king? I was like, what will never own?
It's like, yeah, we're never gonna own it, okay, But just to give you like the information on that, like on the types of cars that they are. So the Mercedes Benz G Class costs around two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, right, and then the Porsche costs around three hundred and forty thousand dollars.
So beautiful luxury cars totally.
So the combined total of wealth in those two cars in that one photo was over six hundred and fifty thousand dollars. When you think about it, the average income of Australians is ninety thousand dollars, So you know, that's six years of someone's entire working ability tied up just in cars.
So off the back of this photo of the luxury cars out in the front of what looks like a really lovely house, they were receiving some hate and some backlash and negativity on the photos. There was a Daily Mail article about it, because of course there was a Daily Male article about it. But now I feel like it's going to just be this thing that's attached to them.
We've spoken about it before with Zoe Foster Blake. When a woman becomes very successful, all of a sudden, everything is about what they're wearing, how much money they've got.
What they're doing.
Has nothing to do with that, right, The articles have nothing to do with it. But this article that has come out after this.
Photo, it's a photo.
So Nazana just has a photo, a selfie in the mirror in the bathroom. There's nothing in the bathroom like it's just a clean bathroom, and it's a photo of
her just she just looks hot. And the headline is Sam Wood's wife's Nazana uses ninety two dollar designer soap after sparking backlash for humble brag posts about her luxury cars, and then later on in the article they talk about how much the perfume is worth, because all that's in this photo is in at the perfume and the soap, So they've talked in the headline about how much the soap is. They've talked in the article about how much
the perfume is. But the thing that really grinds my gears is that the headline, in big bold writings says, did you forget that you used to be a single mum? I'm pretty sure you don't ever forget your past and moments like that, especially if there have been times of struggling, which I'm making an assumption. I don't know Snazanna world, but I'm assuming when you're a single mom, there's.
Always going to be tough moments. I don't think that's something that you would forget. I guess.
One of the things that I have a real issue with is how the media once a woman becomes successful and is in the category of having so much money that the wealth is almost unbelievable.
I'm talking in the millions and millions of dollars.
The types of articles that are written are written in a way to characterize them as though they're bad people because they have a lot of money, like look at them step out in their Gucci shoes, and then we like to kind of itemize the amount of money that someone has spent on clothing, which I think it tries to imply that that person is vacuous or that they're materialistic, and it creates a persona, It creates a character around
that person. Whereas Sam and Snazzana have always been super relatable, super likable people, and I think that people have followed them from their bachelor journey where's Aa was a single mum, Sam was a guy who had a fitness thing you know that he was doing, and they have evolved into this immense wealth, both incredibly lovely people, both people who I think that their general followers have followed and feel like they can relate to because maybe they saw a
bit of themselves in them, or they saw their family as being aspirational. Now, I think that there's two parts of this conversation that's pretty interesting. One is the way that media like to latch onto something ie money, and create that sort of characterization that I just mentioned. But also I think the tides have changed with social media.
People don't want to look at people's immense wealth like I saw the post because I know that it was Valentine's dafflicted past it and for a second I was kind of like, oh wow, that's.
I mean, I don't even know what that car is. I don't know how to say the name.
But that pepper that looks expensive, and I think reason why it makes people get their guard up about it some people and I'm playing Devil's advocate here, Increasingly people don't want to see on Instagram things that make them feel bad. They want to see on Instagram things that they relate to. Going to say, it doesn't mean that we should be up in arms about it. What you should do is you should just unfollow and move on.
But I do understand why there are some people who feel as though and it comes from a place of not having, It comes from a place of jealousy, It comes from a place of torp poppy syndrome. But I understand why that post maybe miss the mark in this current climate.
I understand too, But I disagree with you when you say people don't want to see that wealth. I think the opposite. People are obsessed with people that live a life they can't imagine. That's why the Kardashians are the most followed people in the world. They're all billionaires, three of the four billionaires. True, we love to see how the other half live. But the problem with this is
Snazana and Sam's followers weren't those people. But if Snazana and Sam are evolving and they do want to start to post these kind of things and the luxury things, that is so okay. All that means is their audience can change.
What you mean is that their followers weren't following them for that content. They've isolated their followers because their follower are there for like the relatable family posts, not for the west super wealthy posts.
Yes, they got to tap into the Kardashian space, but.
I think that's okay. I think that this is what happens you at the end of the day. Us as a consumer, we're in charge if you want to press that follow or that unfollowed button. I don't like the fact that like people then feel the need to go and pile on and bombard and abuse and bully someone. There is absolutely no need for it. And some of the comments that were on this post, like this is just she just posted a photo of her cars. At the end of the day, Some of the comments were,
you were a No. One single mother that joined the Bachelor TV show, Stay grounded. Someone else said, can't stand shelf posts like this. If I wanted posts like this, I'd follow the Kardashians. Geez, money changes people. Someone else said, good to see your husband's fortune, Now whar's yours?
Wow? I just think and like, there's a.
Multitude me off as a mum because I'm like, the sacrifices she has made to raise their children has allowed for that fortune.
Do not get me started on that conversation.
A lot of the fitness posts have been back after pregnancy, getting the body back to your strength and fitness, which is Snazzanna as well.
I totally Snazanna's actually been when you think about it, like that, she's the pin up of their brand. Like the entire twenty eight Days as a concept has been, and I shouldn't say entire, A big part of the twenty eight Days branding has evolved around Snazzana's ability to have this incredible body after having babies, and I think that without her being like the flagship of the brand,
it wouldn't have grown as immensely. She is so imperative to what twenty eight days is So that makes me annoyed because I'm like, you can't extrapolate the two of.
Them, exactly.
I don't think there's one person out there any of these people that are writing these bullying comments. Any of them, I can guarantee you if they have made seventy million dollars, they go and buy a nice car as well.
So my thing isn't so much about the individual comments, because I think on an individual basis, it comes from a place of her Like I said, it comes from a place of tall poppy syndrome. The issue I have is how the media perpetuates it and encourages it.
It's very, very steeped.
In misogyny because we never ever see articles that say, hey, look at this man and the expensive suit he's wearing and the expensive car. Carl Sandelanz drives a Rolls Royce, and you never see the things that he owns itemized out.
You never see it done to a man.
You only see it done to the likes of incredibly successful women like Zoe Foster Blake and Snazana.
Exactly, which is why I have steam coming out of my brain right now.
I think with this whole situation, and the reason why it has blown up in the way that it has. Ultimately, people don't want to feel like they're being looked down on social media. They don't want to feel like they're having somebody else's success pushed into their face or flaunted into their face, especially when the reason why you have followed someone is because of their relatability. Am I saying
that they shouldn't post these things. Absolutely not. They can live their life and do whatever they want to, And I don't think that they did anything wrong whatsoever. But do I think that maybe it was a mismatch in what the expectations that their followers have. Absolutely I think that that post was to the wrong audience. And I think you have to when you have a social media following,
you have to know your audience. You have to cater to the people who have loved and supported you for so long because they're part of your brand, they're part of your business, they're part of what has made you get to the point that you're at. Well. I guess then the question is like nobody's posting a photo of a trailer and a torago next to each other and being like but then him and her staying in tonight.
But then do you not ever evolve and change just because you had an audience from ten years ago? That's my question. It is not relatable. But that's also okay, Well enough about that, Enough about the cars. We probably never will have enoughing about Australia's Kardashians. Good on him, I say, I want to talk about an accidentally unfiltered that has something to do with Tony May.
Oh yeah, it's your brain. How are you like? What have I done?
Hey?
Ww dot Tony May dot com dot. You just launched a bridal collection and have a look.
Well, what's funny? You say? Bridal collection? Oh shit, what's happened? How do you have an accidentally unfiltered about this? Somebody just swallowed it and then shout it out. Bust them.
A friend of mine, let's call her Beth, has been in a lot Sally Beth, a friend of mine, let's call it Beth, has been in a long term relationship for years. A few months ago, her partner was in a car accident. He was completely fine, but there was an accident and he had to get a replacement car. Now, he had purchased a Tony May engagement ring to propose with and he decided to store it in the car so that she would never find it. Yes, a bold decision,
I know what you're thinking. Oh. He kept in there for the two weeks that he had the car, and then the day came that he had to return the higher vehicle.
Now, I don't know why this guy's vehicle. Let's not jump on this bandwagon, because I'm sure he's feeling it nice. He put an engagement ring in a higher car.
Now, he is a typical trade and had rubbish everywhere. He was in such a rush, so he quickly grabbed everything and just threw.
It all in the bin. Oh my god.
Little did he know he had thrown out the engagement ring too. By the time he realized it was too late, the ring was so far gone. He ended up telling Beth that he was going to propose a month later, and then he accidentally threw it out.
They still aren't engaged.
Oh my god, or she responded with In this moment, she looked at him blankly and said, you are the reason we don't own a house.
He literally is.
What do I do in that instance if someone emails me and says, hey, I'm sorry, I threw my engage ring in.
The bin, like, do I give them a discount for a second? Well, I don't know.
But what you're doing now is probably setting yourself up to give a lot of discounts because a lot.
Of emails are going to come in, Like I left it in a car. So my thing here is right.
Like the first thing my brain gravitates too, is I wouldn't be telling Beth that story until I had actually proposed. So I would have sauced a ring somehow proposed and then said, want an all funny story, you don't rub.
It in their face and said guess what almost happened?
But now it's not well, I mean he probably has to save up to buy another one, which could be bloody you.
Even how much worse is it to say you almost got engaged, fy but not?
Yeah, I think I just expect him to propose, but without a ring, get a burger ring?
Just proposed to me, you can get really nice rings.
Just thought you're about to say you can get really nice burger rings. You can.
I love a burger ing. All right, let's get into the chat with Olivia.
Joining us on the podcast today is former Miss Universe, Australia author of Find Your Light and just in case that's not enough, she's also a speech pathologist. Olivia Rogers, Welcome to Life Uncut.
Thanks girls, I'm so excited to be on as a fan of the podcast.
Olivia, you are a bit of a woman at the moment, at the moment, aren't you?
Like?
I don't think this one morning that I wake up at the cracker dawn, roll over in bed, open the daily mail and I do not see an article on you.
What a way to start the day.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, There's been a bit going on the past few months.
You have been so successful. You authored your book last year. But something that has been making headlines and something we've spoken about quite a bit on the podcast is the fact that recently you had to come out publicly to say that you walked away from your marriage after eight
months of being married. Now, we want to get into that conversation because for us and in terms of we talk about relationships so much on this podcast, but one of the things we really wanted to talk about was reclaiming your identity post a breakup, and it's something that you have done with incredible grace in the public eye and sexiness and sexiness as you do better, just truly something that you should be so proud of. Before we get into unpacking what has been happening in your life
over the past year. There is something that we do with all of our guests, and I know that you're very familiar with it since you do listen to the podcast. It's accidentally unfiltered. So bear your soul live. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
I love what you just said. Before we get into unpacking your grace, Let's unpack your just like come from the lows, and then we can build it back up.
Oh see, I had a conversation with my sister yesterday because I was thinking about what to tell you guys. And it's not to say there's not embarrassing moments in my life. There's so many. But I feel like when someone asks you directly, it's like I don't know, Like I have like a mental blank. So I said, my sister, of all people, will happily share many, many tidbits from my life. And I messaged her to say, hey, do you have any embarrassing moments for me? And she's like,
about you, You've come to me for this. I was like, yeah, She's like, I've literally been waiting my whole life for this moment.
So she she's like, it's my time to shine. Should I phone in?
Oh?
There were so many things that I think I'd squashed down and they all just came out. I was like, Jesus, I've opened the can of worms here. She just didn't stop. They just kept coming. So they're very There's you know, little embarrassing moments and then there's like a big embarrassing moment. And I know that you guys love the big embarrassing moments.
Yeah, we really do, don't something kind of like bread Crumbus and teesus with the little things you got to go for gold.
Oh it's pretty embarrassing, but okay, we're gonna do it. This will be a Daily Mail article. You just wait. So my sister and I both got invited to a formal So this is many years ago. I was in year eleven, she was in year twelve. We had a few drinks, which was naughty, obviously underage drinking. I do not recommend it, but that's what we were doing. We had a really fun night. We were the last to leave
the after party. The DJ dropped us home, and it was the middle of winter, and I went to bed with trackies on, a jumper, on a really big dressing gown, socks, like so many clothes because I was freezing.
Did you just say that DJ dropped you home?
Sorry, the DJ dropped us home? I know.
We just skewed it over that piece of information.
I was like, oh, yeah, and I thought that DJ drop you home.
I don't know because my sister and I were stayers, like we didn't want to leave. He was like, guys, I'm wrapping up, like let's go.
He's like carried his equipment out and he's like, man, you need to leave.
But anyway, we had a fun night, is my point. So yeah, I went to bed with all these clothes on. I woke up in the morning in my bed with the dressing gown on, my jumper is still on, my socks still on, but my pants were off, and I was like, the DJ dropped us home. He did not come in. This is not what I'm getting out. So I'm like, what is going on here? Why are my
pants off? I look at the end of the side of my bed and my pants and my undies are neatly on the floor, just like I'd taken them off and stepped out of them and felt around and the side of my bed was wet.
You've wet the bed?
Oh, I think sort of sleep walked. I suppose because I obviously stood up, took my pants down, sat on the side of my bed.
It felt like a toilet in the middle of the night, did.
A little WI and then lay back down and went to sleep.
At least she stood up for it. I want to like when people do this. This is my question. When you're like sleep walking and you wee like in a drawer or on your bed or wherever it is, is there not a moment when you're asleep and you're like, where's the toilet paper?
Like?
What are you using?
I can't answer that question. Low.
I think if you're wetting yourself, you don't think where's the toilet paper? Like if you're wean the bed, you're not like, oh, where is my wet wife?
I mean you would think that, but you've had enough consciousness to get up, to walk away, to pull your pants out, like you've done all the steps.
Surely you do, a wife.
But I obviously missed a few steps because I didn't get my back up.
She didn't step anyway.
And then I was so embarrassed and I was like, I cannot tell my mom this, like she's going to disown me. So she came past my room and I'm cleaning up. She's like, what are you doing. I was like, Oh, I think we had a Jack Rosser called Buster. I was like, so weird. I think.
She was straight through that line. And now she listened to lafe on cut and she'll know the truth.
My sister. And the message was like, I remember that you thought it was a dog. I was like, no, I always knew it wasn't the dog.
I just do you know I have never hand on heart. I have never wet the bed. I mean besides when I was like, you know, you're a better person than both living.
Yeah, not from being drunk, but just as an adult.
I had a dream that I get out of it.
No, I had a dream that I was in a pool, which is even worse because who pisses in a pool and doesn't.
Get out of the pool. But I burn Apparently, I had.
A dream that I was floating around in a pool. I was not drunk, I was not hungover, and then I woke up as an adult just wetting the bed.
I was like, this is wild a lot.
Yeah, well you made me feel better. I appreciate that. That's exactly what this episode and Britt, if it ever changes, let us know, Yeah.
It happened, It happens.
Well live we are talking, like I said, about identity today, and I mean, you have been so many things throughout your life, you Miss Australia. You have been a speech speech pathologist, geez I need one as well? Might you have been an author? For you in terms of identity, Like, how has each of these transitions been in your life?
It's been interesting. I love that you guys are talking about this because it's such a difficult thing to pinpoint for a lot of people what your identity is. And I think we feel a lot of pressure to have one and to stick with it. But for me, and I think for you girls as well, like it changes over the years so much and you sort of get attached to one sort of identity, but then it's so transient. And I think when you when you want to do a whole lot of different things, it can be so
many things at once as well. I felt very weird about becoming Miss Universe when my goal was to be a speech pathologist, and so much of my identity growing up was to do with my academics and my brain, and then suddenly I was put into this position where it didn't have so much to do with that. I mean, I think Miss Universe does, like they care a lot about your personality and you know, the messages you want to share, but it is a lot to do with
how you look. And so I'd gone from having this strong identity of being a speech pathologist and feeling like when I told people that they respected me, to then being Miss Universe and you know, becoming an influencer and people have this instant judgment that's very different to when you say you have a degree or a career in something that people respect more.
Do you feel like you needed to start with your sentences with like, yes, i am Miss Universe Australia, but I'm also a speech pathologist.
Like did you have to handle that?
Yeah?
As in like yeah, as if you were going to gain more respect from that. But how did you if that was the case and you're just so deep in your studies, how did you find yourself competing for Miss Universe Australia.
Well, i'd actually finished my degree at that point. I had been practicing as a speech pathologist for about a year and I was about to move from Adelaide to Melbourne. And I got scouted to do Miss Universe. And that sounds like such a big thing, but I think, you know, they scout girls every year via Instagram, email, in person, it happens a lot. But I yeah, At first I said no because I'd had kind of a bad experience
with modeling and that sort of thing. I'd ended up with an eating disorder and I was just coming out of that, you know, I felt like I was sort of finally becoming more comfortable within myself and I thought putting myself out there like that probably wasn't a great idea. So initially I said no, and then they were quite persistent, and so I ended up doing it. I didn't think
anything was going to come over it. And I sort of went in with this idea that if they told me to do something I didn't want to do, or it was a what I wanted it to be, then I would just pull the pin and end it. So anyway, long story short, I moved to Melbourne, but I got through as a state finalist for South Australia, and then I went to the National final and ended up winning,
and I did not expect to win at all. Like you could see from the footage, they cut some out because the first thing I said when I won was what the fuck?
I was looking out one of them, like we're taking that back. She would not a lady, This is not Ladylike bring this weird a out.
Oh my god. They were like no, like stop saying that. I was looking at one of the judges because I was just so surprised and so shook, and I was just so convinced that that was not how about night was going to play out. And I was okay with that, Like I had a really good experience. I met all these girls from across Australia. But the way that I saw my life going was very much that I would continue to live in Melbourne but be a speech pathologist and maybe do a bit of like modeling and stuff
on the side. I had a small Instagram following at that point, like I maybe ten thousand followers or something, so I never saw that as a pathway either. It was just something fun to do. This universe and yeah, it ended up that night really changed my life.
Well, speaking of how it changed your life, you are someone who does have a huge following on social media, and part of that following, and I guess part of the kind of the curse and also the joy of being an influence on social media is that you share so much of your personal life. You share so much of the highlight reel of your life, which is also why I guess in your case, your relationship was really public.
But then that also then means that the breakdown of a relationship becomes public, even if you don't want it to be, even if you don't put it on social media. It's almost like because people are invested in the good times, they feel like they have a right to know the bad times as well. Can you tell us a little bit about the last year and a half your relationship? And I guess more so like what this last eight months has been like for you.
Yeah. So it's funny timing that we're recording today because yesterday would have been a year since I got married.
How does that feel live? I was about to say, like a happy anniversary.
I don't know if you can say that to come out even though you know the situation. I feel like it's a funny day.
Yeah, it's been hard, like it's been very, very hard in many ways. And the public interest and scrutiny is probably the hardest part because you know, it is such a private thing, but people expect so much of you from you when you put yourself out there, and people said, you know, you were so public with your relationship, so
why won't you be public with your breakup? But when you really look back at it, I actually wasn't that public about my relationship, Like, yes, he was on my socials, but I wasn't every day saying this is where we're at, this is what we're doing. We had a fight last night. We you know, I wasn't sharing all the ins and outs, and that would be weird if I did, and it would be weird if anyone did. I don't think anybody
does that. Like, yes, you see glimpses of people's relationships on socials, but you never truly know what's going on. And I think I think part of it was, like my wedding was very public, and I get that, and I think that's why people expected more from me when it came to the relationship. Breakdown. But it's all well and good for me to share what I want to share.
But at the end of the day of relationships to people and whatever I'm sharing about my ex, you know, he hasn't said okay to that, and he wasn't in the public eye. So it's not really fair to take two people through that kind of thing when it's just one of you that's put yourself in that position. I think it's very different if both people are in the public eye in a similar way.
That's a really good point.
Yeah, But even then I think, like it's not it's no one's business, and you share what you want to share, and you have to be also ready to share it. So like I'm excited to have this conversation with you guys today, I feel like the dust has settled a little and I can maybe say more than I have previously. But even still, I think I've always got to be careful.
Well, I mean, so much of it comes down to processing, because I think that for anybody when something is happening, you know, with any break you know, we don't know the specifics around your breakup, but there can be feelings of anger or betrayal or frustration, or those feelings are so big and they're so raw when they very first happen, and it's almost like you need to get through those
initial feelings to really understand how you actually feel. And if you say things in the moment of anger, then they're out there for the whole world to see. And then once the dust does settle and your feelings do settle, you're like, well, I don't feel as angry as I did, and I wish that I had maybe phrased that differently.
Absolutely, Yeah, And once it's out there, you can't take it back, especially when people are hanging on to every word you say and wanting to make an article out of everything. Yeah. My dad had always said to me, don't write a message in anger. Yeah, And I think that's on a bigger scale when you are in the public eye.
Can we go back a bit, I mean and speaking about when things were great for the two of you, What was your wedding like? What was your wedding day like? Because that is something that you've shared a little bit of on social media since, but for you now reflecting back, how was your wedding?
My wedding was fun. It was a really good day. But I I would say it wasn't a good day because of him. It was a good day despite him. That's probably going to sound a little harsh, but we weren't actually in a good place when we got married, which also is probably going to be interesting for people to hear because it looked like such a happy day.
I genuinely was happy on the day because I was surrounded by all of my favorite people, and I had put so much time and effort and money and everything into this day being the best day that it could be. And it was beautiful weather, everything was going to plan. There was no drama, so all of those things were good. But I found it really challenging to write my vowels because we had, in the lead up to the wedding hadn't been in a good place.
Was there a part of you that thought on that day or leading up to the day, that maybe you shouldn't do it, but you get caught up in this snowball effect of well, we've been together and we've planned it and everyone expects it and it's happening and we'll work through whatever it is.
Or was there a part of you this life I just really shouldn't be doing this?
Both I. Yeah, I had had my doubts along the way. I think COVID made it hard because we postponed it a couple of times because of COVID, And in a way, I thought, this gives us more time to sort our stuff out so that we're in a good spot before the wedding. But there were times along the way where Mum and I had had conversations and she was like, you know, you don't need to do this. But I also kind of felt like I made my bed and
I had to lie in it. And you know, there was so much interest around the wedding and then I sort of leant into that, and I think it is easy to get caught up in it all, in planning it all, and then it felt like I had too much to lose, Like it felt like too much to pull away from if I was to change my mind or cancel the day. And I also knew that the public interest in that would be enormous. And then I wasn't sure if you know, if I was going to cancel the wedding, if down the track, I would change
my mind and we would still get married. I felt like that was also a massive call to make, so I kind of just forced all those feelings down and just was like, Okay, no, I'm doing this. I've made my mind up and I'm going to stick it out.
And was there big issues in the relationship or was it a communication issue?
Yeah, I think I with the day that I split up with my ex, I called my sister, or the day that I was sort of I suppose making the decision, I called my sister, and my sister said, for one, She's like, God, if you're calling me, then you must be serious about this because she's always going to give me a very honest opinion. You know. We discussed a lot of things, and I said, I feel like an idiot because we haven't been married for very long. And
she said, You're not an idiot, You're an optimist. And you know you've been trying at this for almost five years. It's not just the period of the marriage. And yeah, there were a lot of big issues. So I think too, Like someone said to me, you know, obviously all relationships have problems, but I think the difference is when you have a good, healthy relationship, if something comes up, can work on it as a team, discuss it. You might argue, but then you're going to try and get through that.
But when it's the same things that keep coming up over and over and over again, you're like flogging a dead horse, and there's only so many times you can do that. And I had I felt like I just didn't have anything left to give.
I think socially, there's this perspective that when a marriage ends early on, that it's a failure, you know, like, how can you only be married for eight months? That there's this perception of, like weoll then maybe you didn't try hard enough, or you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. But I genuinely think, and I remember when we read this article around micro marriages, it was like they'd coined a term, like it was a new trend.
How angry it made me feel for you, especially because I think it takes an incredible amount of courage to walk away from a short lived marriage, because a part of you would be thinking, well, what if I try harder, what if I stay longer? What are people going to think of this being such a short period of time. Do you think for yourself that the fact that it was eight months made it harder to live? Or were you like I cannot invest any more time in this relationship.
Yeah, a bit of both. I called my dad the same day that I called my sister. I had all these you know, heavy conversations, and I guess I wanted to make sure that everyone was going to be on my team when I made the call. But I literally, up until that day had been doing fertility treatment. So it was on the same day that I decided, like, I need to cancel this treatment and I need to
end this relationship. And I said to my dad. The exact words I said were, do you think I should wait until it's been a year, just so that it's been a year. And he said, don't be ridiculous, like how are you feeling in the marriage? And I said, I'm miserable. And he said that it's not a way
to live. And he said, you know, the thing with a short marriage is that people know that you don't just change your mind, and people know that there must be something really wrong if you have to end it after that amount of time.
We said that as friends in a discussion to each other off camera. We just said, you don't get married for fun and then walk away for no reason. Something has happened in their relationship and it's really no one's business, but it's even a discussion between friends, and there's a part of us that sort of is like, I hate we're talking about it because it's another woman going through something.
But it was more of a in defense of you saying people don't just get up and be like, oh, well I'm done, Like if you're doing that, you've tried.
But also on that brit as well, like that was the thing that I think is so important because you know, for one, live, we're so grateful for you sharing this because we know how incredibly personal it is, and also that it's, you know, one of the first times you've spoken about this in detail in public. But it is so empowering to people who are in relationships that are not healthy that they don't feel like they can leave.
There was a lot of feedback online from people saying, oh, you know, she just wanted the big marriage, or she just wanted the attention of a marriage or something along those lines, or got too caught up in the idea of a marriage. That's not the case, but I do think that there's something to say about thinking that a
marriage is going to be a solution. In a way, it's like I thought all of these issues that we had, I'm like, he's made this commitment to me, and he's going to make this commitment to me on that day, So surely from that day onwards things will improve. And I think in most and I can't speak for everyone, but I would say that there's probably a common denominator within short marriages that whatever you hope is going to change once you say I do, when it doesn't, you're like, oh, Okay,
it was just a big day. It was not like this momentous thing that was going to suddenly like heal everything.
How do you when you go through a breakup like this, because this isn't just, you know, a typical breakdown of a relationship. This is you know, you were thinking that you were on track for trying for a baby, you had everything in place, you'd bought a new house together, all the things that tick all those big life boxes
of where you think your life is going. How do you deal with the identity whiplash with thinking everything is heading in one direction and then making that huge decision that life is going to go in a very very different direction.
I would say that's probably been the hardest part, because yeah, I think my identity was wrapped up in being a wife then also wanting to be a mum, and we were trying for probably about ten months, maybe a little bit longer. We'd been doing fertility treatment, Like I said, up until that day that I made the decision, and I was so set on the idea of being a mum, you know, behind closed doors, because I hadn't actually shared.
I'd shared that I wanted to have children, but I hadn't shared what we were going through at that time because it was so raw and difficult. It was a big part of my identity behind closed doors, and I was sort of preparing myself for that next stage of my life. And I've always wanted to be a mum,
and I'm sure one day that will happen. I think I just sort of came to the realization that I would be better doing it on my own, and maybe I will, I don't know, but yeah, I think that was the hardest thing because on that day I made the call. I said to my sister, I don't know what to do about this fertility treatment, and she said, well, how would you feel if you found out tomorrow that you were pregnant? And I said, I would be terrified,
and she said, well, there's your answer. So I was grieving that probably the most when that week that I made the decision. Yeah, there were days where I couldn't get out of bed because I was just so upset. I think the thing I want to say is because again people have said, and I've seen commentary around how can you go so suddenly from wanting to be pregnant
with someone to then breaking up? But in hindsight, and I've spoken to my sych a lot about this, I think the reasons that I wanted a baby were similar to how I thought that the marriage was maybe going to make things better, which is so bad because I know and like I said before, I've wanted kids for my whole life, but I've never up until this point or that point when we were still together, been so
desperate to have a baby. And I can see it really clearly now that I was trying to feel an emotional I think by having a baby, like I think again, I thought, Okay, well if the marriage hasn't changed things, then maybe it'll be me being pregnant that will change it or something like that. But you know, I know now, thank and I'm so grateful I think I'm really blessed that I didn't feel pregnant, because you know, adding a baby into the mix would make things so much more complicated.
You think that those big moments, those big public moments as well, will give you that sort of security. Yeah, because it's like it's like them saying, Okay, I am choosing you, and you sort of think it's going to then counteract all the other stuff, but doesn't.
Work like that, well, especially when it's been so many years of even though you're in a relationship together, so many years of being wanted to be chosen, like you know, them choosing the nights out or choosing the partying, or choosing to be unfaithful, whatever it is that they're choosing
over you. It's like you have been so conditioned for so long to want to be chosen, and it's like, finally you are being chosen in being propos that you think, well, surely this is a sign that things are only going to get better from here. But going back to something that you shared recently Live and we both just thought it was so powerful and fucking awesome of you.
We were like, get a girl, you.
Rewrite that narrative you shared your wedding video. Yeah, and it was a very It was a very special edit of your wedding video. And what you wrote on Instagram was I recently received my wedding video and it was hard to watch with everything that's happened. I asked for them to do an edit that only included my family, my friends, and me, so now I can remember the happiest parts of that day with the people that I love the most in the world. Here's a glimpse of
ninety seconds of the Olivia edit. What did that mean to you to put together your video of your day of just the people that you love.
It was so boss. Oh thank you?
I think, oh god, it caused more of a stir than I'd intended.
It was fucking great. It was Ara.
It's just because people haven't seen it before, and also because people expect you to be miserable. They don't expect you to be almost powerful in that moment, you know, to reclaim this idea of a breakup is something that we don't see very often.
Oh thank you. It's funny because I obviously I mentioned I see a sich. I was seeing him weekly for a period during the breakup, which was amazing. He's been such a great support to me, and he'd said to me, you need to stop distracting yourself, because I'm sure anyone
who follows me may have noticed. I was very very busy, and I think I've figured out in maybe the first thirteen weeks or something that I'd only spent something like six nights on my own because my friends and family had just been so amazing and I'd go and stay with friends in Adelaide or my sister, my mum, or
they would come and visit here. My best friend Paul was over all the time, and like, I would have a night where I was like, oh, I'm just going to cook dinner for myself, and then I would have enough food for two. I'm like, do you want to come over? And I think it was a subconscious thing. I don't think I was intentionally trying to not be alone. Anyway, long story short, my sych said spend some more time on your own, and I was like, Okay, I'm going
to do that. So tonight, this was back in December. So I'm going to be by myself. I'm going to cook myself dinner, I'm going to watch some TV. And then I got an email at nine fifteen PM saying Hey, Olivia, here's your wedding video, and people think, oh, and of course I watched it.
Oh, I mean of course.
Oh that was a weird moment. I in that moment, was like, I don't actually know how I'm gonna feel about this. They had told me that they'd stopped editing the video back in September because they didn't really know if we were going to still want it. But then she contacted me in November and said do you still
want this? And I said, well, I mean there was so there were so many good moments on that day, and my dad spoke so beautifully, and my maid of honor spoke so beautifully, and I had so many special people there, and I know these videographers are amazing. So I was like, yeah, I kind of want to see it still.
Well also like paid, I would be like, I'm sorry, but I look hot as fuck.
I am neither looking is good again, my makeup is done.
My dressing God point my hands one point, like I want to immortalize that.
I would want that video of myself as well.
It's good tonight. So yeah, I had i'd said, please do still send it to me I just wasn't expecting to get it on that night when I was by myself. But anyway, I watched it and I sent a photo to a few friends and I was like, oh God, look what I just received. And then they were panicking,
calling me like you're okay. I got emotional, but the things that made me emotional weren't the moments of my ex and I. They were the moments of my dad saying his speech and my maid of honor speaking and saying all these beautiful things and how happy everyone looked. And that made me sad because I'm like, well, what do I do with this video?
Now?
Just get rid of it and never show anyone, and it feels like such a waste. So straight away I emailed back and I said, thanks for the video, hard to watch. I'm wondering if I can pay you to do a version that just doesn't have my eggs in it, you know, to keep for myself. And she responded straight away and was like, that's a great idea. Don't worry about paying me, we'll do it. We'll just do it
for you. Like she's so nice, so so nice, and they're so talented, so yeah, she said, do you have any preferences of music, and I said, probably just something that's not romantic would be good. And then yeah, she sent it to me on Christmas Eve, so I don't know. People were funny about the timing and everything. The reason I posted it on Boxing Day was because I got it on Christmas Eve, and I didn't share it for any other reason than I think it's a happy video.
And yeah, like you said, I guess I kind of did want to rewrite the narrative and have something that I can look back on and feel good about because it doesn't remind me of our relationship. It just reminds me of the amazing friends and family that I have in my life, and I'm so lucky to have those
people around me. I hope it does empower other women to do the same thing, because it was empowering and it's special, Like, I'm glad I have the whole Olivia edit is four minutes long, so I still have, yeah, some great memories from that day. It's just an edited version.
You know, Olivia.
We touched on this a little bit earlier, this idea that society has around relationship breakdowns being a failure. How do you see the breakdown of your marriage. How do you view it for yourself.
I don't see it as a failure. It was a big lesson. I've learned a lot about myself. I think the thing about having a toxic relationship is that it forces you to look at things about yourself, about the other person, but also about yourself. And there was a while there where I was convinced that every issue that we had was my fault. So I did a lot of work on myself, and the best part about that is then coming out on the other side, I am in a really good spot, Like I feel like I'm
the most secure. I think this comes with age as well, but yeah, more secure and comfortable in my own skin. And I feel like I'm getting to know myself more now being on my own and it's been really powerful. So I don't see it as a failure. I see it as a very big lesson, and I feel like all relationships are you know, obviously, every relationship I've had until this point could be seen as a failure because they didn't work out. But that's such a depressing way
to look at things. I think all of my ex'es have taught me something. Sometimes you have to like look a little bit deeper to see what they've taught you. Totally, but yeah, I think all of those situations teach you something and make you learn more about yourself and more about what you will and won't put up with. And I think I plan on taking those lessons into future relationships and hopefully it means that I'll be able to see red flags easier next time.
Does the idea now when you say that a future relationship, does that scare you or do you feel excited by the fact that now that you've learned a bit more about what you want and who you are and what your boundaries are, are you excited to dip your toes back in?
Uh?
Not yet.
I feel like, no, I'm such traumatized. It's a scary.
Well now then, oh, it's so scary. I'm going through phases. I feel like I had a period where I was like, oh my god, so repulsed by men in general, and thankfully that's calmed down. I have been on a couple of dates with some really lovely guys and it didn't lead anywhere, but it just reminded me that there are good guys out there, and they're not They're not all going to be the same, but yeah, I feel like I need a solid amount of time on my own
and I'm enjoying being on my own. And to be honest, I think it's the first time because I am in a good spot mentally and I do feel secure. It's the first time after a breakup that I haven't been desperate to find the next person, which is a cool place to be because I don't know. I don't think
I've realized. It's only with hindsight that I can see it now that I was a serial monogamist and I, you know, from boyfriend a boyfriend, So I think I often just ended up with someone that was convenient rather than someone that I was like, you are the best person that I know, and that's what I want now. I don't want to be with anyone unless they make my life better. And yeah, so I'm pretty happy with my own for now.
Well live you wrote a book and it is called Find Your Life.
Now.
For somebody who's written a book all about self love and courage and confidence, we know how easy it is to give advice and how hard it can sometimes be to take your own advice. But yeah, I never take you know that whole like practice what you preach situation. Did you find the fact that you have written a lot about self love, the fact that this is a topic that is of true interest to you, that you
know the tools. Did you almost feel more pressure to kind of live up to your own teachings when it comes to your relationships or were you sometimes like, fuck, I know the right thing to do.
I don't want to do it, but my heart doesn't want.
To do that, so I'm going to do this, And you know, I just think that sometimes it's so hard to practice.
What we preach.
Yeah, I definitely agree with that, because my book was a lot to do with my eating disorder and my relationship with my body and food, which I think I when I look back on when I wrote it, I was genuinely feeling good about that, and I still am. I'm in a good place with my recovery and that's okay. So I don't feel differently about that part of the book. But there were parts in the book that I wrote about my ex and I do think even in the moment,
I felt like they weren't quite right. But yeah, I did feel pressured to sort of I mean, you're not going to spill out all of your dirty laundry into something that is permanent, like that, I would like to do an edited version.
You go to the publishers, You're like, look, I edited my wedding video. Would also change for the second print?
Copeege, can we please change all these paragraphs and just do a delete.
Yeah, there's a lot that I've learned in the past, you know. I think going through something big and stressful teaches you a lot in a quick period. And I do feel like over the last six months, I've learned a lot about myself and a lot that I would
like to share. But again, yeah, it's tricky. It's hard to sort of, I don't know, walk the line between how much to share as someone who has a public profile and someone who I like to be open, like I genuinely like to share my life with people, but now having just constant criticism or just constant commentary on everything I do, Yeah, it's a hard spot to be.
And there's a lot more that I would like to share, and we'll see, like over the years, because I feel like there's so much that I experience that could help other women. And generally, when I'm sharing something vulnerable. That is My intention is not to hurt anybody in my life. It's only ever to help other people. And I think that's how we all learn and grow is from other people sharing their stories. So, yeah, I don't know if I answered your question. That was a real tangent.
There's a real theme with our listeners, and I think with women in general, it's around surviving a breakup.
And how do you do it.
We get so many questions about how do you pull yourself out of bed, how do you get back on track? How do you become the person you want to be? What are some of the things that you went through and experience and some of the things that helped you get back on track. Because right now you are absolutely I don't know how you are on the inside, but on the outside you're absolutely beaning like you seem like you've gotten yourself to a really beautiful place.
What are your tools?
What would you tell someone right now that's laying in bed being like, I don't know where the light at the end of the tunnel is.
It's probably just you've got to feel it, like you have to go through those really yucky moments and days, and you know, sometimes it takes people more than more days than others to get out of bed. But you do need to sort of process those feelings because if you just want to go out and party or distract yourself,
it's not going to help. Like you're going to have to deal with those emotions at some point anyway, So trying to deal with them head on, getting as much as you can, whether that's with a professional or with your friends and family or both. I definitely lean on both a lot. Like I said, I was seeing my psych weekly at the start, and I was on the phone to friends and family constantly. And if that's what you've got to do, that's what you've got to do.
It's hard to give advice for people who maybe don't have such a strong support network. I'm very lucky that I do. And if you don't, then professionals. You know, it might be a psych or it might be a counselor there's online resources, just so many things out there that you can find if you're looking for it, So just try to look for it. Listening to podcasts about
people going through similar things. I know that that really helps, because I think when you're living something like that, you feel like it's just you and you feel really alone. So finding other people going through a similar thing, but also just little self care things like I had a period there where I just did not feel like eating, I didn't feel like exercising. My heart rate was through the roof, so I found it hard to exercise. I couldn't watch TV because I was just two in my head.
I couldn't listen to podcasts and I love podcasts, but so finding things that work for you. So for a while I couldn't run because my heart rate was too high, so I would just walk. Couldn't listen to podcasts, so I would just listen to like breakup music.
Oh like Adele, And that was the first thing that came to mind as well, just Adel.
She was great, but also like the really empowering ones like you know, Lizzo and Beyonce and yeah all the girls Tata tell us with she.
I love we got me through.
It was funny actually, when when all of this came out, someone screenshot my recently played on Spotify and that was in all the articles and I was like, oh my god.
But you know what, like fuck, give a girl a break, like something bad, but that's what you do. You go through a breakup and you need to listen to stuff that just either you know, sometimes you need to listen to stuff that like makes you cry, because it's part
of the process. You need to listen to stuff that makes you be like, yeah, that fuck you, Like that's my fuck you song like we all had that was Selena Gomez back in twenty seventeen eight repe but like you need that stuff, And I think, like, yeah, you know, it's part of the healing process. And I think anybody who's like, haha, look like you know they're going through or.
They're listening to this, like, of course you are. Because you are in the public light.
You're always going to have people that have comments or try and make you feel shameful for the way that you're going about your life. But I think it's really empowering how you speak about it and how you are vulnerable and how you're open to sharing because I just know so many people going through shitty breakups. We'll listen to this and will be like, Okay, somebody as like seemingly perfect as you are from the outset is still going through these really tough times.
I did kind a.
Bit to everyone rex, you know, like.
A couple of yel days, and then I had a couple of like real X days.
But I think that's the other thing too. I shared a video on TikTok there was it was a joke, but people thought I was serious, but they usually do. It was one of those ones where it's playing like upbeat music and it's like when you're going through a divorce, and you know, some days you're like this and you're like loving life on your own, and then next minute you're like feeling all the feelings that was me at
the start. I haven't felt like that in a while, but I think knowing that it is a wave and you've got to ride the wave. And some days you will feel amazing and you're like, yeah, I'm an independent woman and I can buy myself flowers and I feel good, and then the next day you're like, what is my life and what have I done? And it's scary, Like it's it is scary, for sure, but I think you've got to lean into the positive moments and write them down.
I think like journaling is also amazing. I found it hard to journal when I was feeling really low because I was like, I don't actually want this stuff to come out. But my site was like, that's when you're supposed to do it, So okay, so doing your homework. But yeah, I think knowing that time does really heal. And I know it's such a cliche, but it's true. And surrounding yourself with good people, doing the things that bring you joy and knowing that you don't have to
do anything for anybody else is quite empowering. So cooking whatever food you want to cook, and I don't know, watching whatever you want to watch, like I'm loving just watching just girly things that you know, just for me.
I wish I could remember who taught me this and where I heard it from, because I definitely this is not mine. I heard it from someone else, but it really resonated with me. And that's this idea of when you're making a big decision, a life decision, should I leave my husband of eight months? You know, there's this idea of thinking to ourselves, I don't want to start again. I can't start again. I don't want to go back
to scratch. I've failed all this negativity. But redefining that thought process of I get to start again, I get to recreate what I want. I get to take these lessons that I've learned and go out into the future. I get to have new experiences and it's literally a reshaping of your mind and a perspective instead of looking at it like it's the worst thing to ever happen to you and how you're ever going to survive it.
It's a joyous moment in a way because you've told yourself there are all these opportunities out there now that I never would have touched and I get the chance to go.
And do that now, absolutely, And I think when you go into things with that mindset, then good things are going to come your way. Like I've definitely felt that. I think since everything happened, it's opened so many new doors for me that weren't even there before. And I do feel like I'm very open minded now and very open to things that are coming my way and saying yes to a lot of things. And yeah, I feel
really grateful for that. So yeah, I think going into it feeling that way, or trying to feel that way, because even if you're not there yet, trying to trick yourself into feeling positive it helps. And yeah, knowing that you are grateful, you get to meet new different people and try different things and travel. And that's kind of the rule that I've made for myself this year, is to do all of the things that I probably wouldn't have done if I had stayed on the path that I was previously on.
Live. Do you feel like you have any regrets at all?
I wish that I didn't, because I think it's bad to have regrets. I think I regret not listening to my gut sooner, and yeah, I wish it hadn't taken me quite as long as it took me to put myself first. But I think I don't completely regret it because I think, in a way, I had to get to that point on my own and I had to go through everything that I went through to figure it all out. So so maybe I don't regret anything.
I think sometimes you can regret what you have to go through, but the end lessons are something that you know. It just means that eventually, when you do enter into your next relationship, the standard for which you'll accept for yourself is so much higher.
Yeah, this next person has to be bloody amazing.
Oh, I have no doubt that they will be.
Time for our suck and our sweet Brittany, what is your You had a great weekend durran Port Maccrory.
Oh so wholesome. I had some.
Oh so I was like family barbecues, you babies, it was my nana was there.
It was amazing little babies. Oh my brother, how was bet?
Yeah?
My brother had bear. I'm just gonna call him right now. I met him for the first time. He's I don't know. I should know two weeks ten days, you should know what's around it to two weeks newborn. Oh so cute, but he didn't do anything like his eyes. I think I only saw an eyeball once.
Brittany sent me a for and it was just this tiny, little like nugget of human flesh with a vomit all over it.
And I was like, cute, you were a classic mum. I sent you a photo.
I was like, oh my god, here he is was me holding him, and he did have vomit all over him and me, and that.
Was all you commented on. I was like, he's also cute, but this vomit everywhere. It's the first thing you see someone clean this baby.
So my suck this week is I just before I was coming back from Port mcquarie. Literally, I was supposed to be from Port to Sydney and I got a huge screw in my tire so I couldn't anyway. I called around to a mechanic and he fit me in irrelevant, but I wasn't gonna be able to drive, so that just was a really annoying My suite was meeting Bear for the first time, and I went to the Royal National Park in Sydney, which I haven't I've been It's on my list right for so long to go back,
and I haven't been there in like ten years. And I finally went back there on Sunday and it was incredible. Sunday afternoon. I was like, I'm going to go down and meet a friend have a dip. It was incredible. It was like I was in another world, the North One, all the I don't know, there's one and there's it's like past Cronulla. Oh yes, beautiful, insane. If anyone is Sydney people are visiting, it is just divine. So I reckon, then my suck's there?
My sweet did you go jump off the jump rock that's there? The wedding cake rock, Now that's the dangerous one.
No, no, there's like a little there's like a little pond area jump. Anyone who's from Canala is gonna know what I'm talking about. Anybody else from anywhere else in Australia is gonna be like, what the fuck that?
No, we went to this private beach.
It was superl Did you go there in your Porsche?
My cane Pepper? I definitely did not have a porch.
Yeah, my suck for the week, My suck for the week was probably my wedding video.
To be honest, like that wasn't great. That's so funny to me. Yeah, that's I'm glad.
But now because we can laugh together, Yeah with her, I'm not there yet.
I would say, I know that it's a repetitive content and I should have come up with something else, but I'm gonna tick with it. My suck is probably that my wedding video had Matt's ex girlfriend's name in it over the top of my happy face. Yeah, it just really hit me somewhere away and expect to be hit and.
Then oh, your sweet's getting her hood dog and my.
Sweet is not the hot dog. My sweet is is that it was Lola's birthday.
She's two. I don't know how it happened.
I don't know how she's too, but it is and she's just the happiest, funniest little chunk of a human. We had a birthday party for her on the weekend. It made me really realize just how much things go down in your level of expectation, your level of effort, your level of everything just goes down with the second child. Oh yeah, because like this is the first birthday party that Lola's ever had, because it's been COVID and so you're like, she's two. But it was meant to be
like a real big one. And I was like, Oh, get the cake from Woolies, Oh, get the decorations from Kmart.
I reckon. We spent about seventy bucks and had the best time.
But the old Smarties on a Wooly's cake is underrated, totally nostalgia.
I say that because it was like my cake every d you do.
You know what.
I actually had this argument with Matt.
I would say it's more effort because I bought a really expensive cake for Maley's first birthday, cost me two hundred and fifty dollars. All I did was send an email. I had to decorate that little fuck up. I had to stand there and pick out all the pink Smarties and I had to go to Woolies and buy the ten dollar cake. The effort that that took me good saving, unsurpassed in today's economy.
Very important.
But yeah, the cake cost me about thirteen dollars and it got devoured.
Coals and Woolies' mudcakes underrated now. It was the rainbow cake from Woolies.
Highly recommend If you got a kid's party, that's my recommendation for Thursday's episode.
You come here and gave it. And that's the guys.
If you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast, I have a little hot tip for you. So last week I fucked up and accidentally forgot to schedule the episode Thursday's Ask Uncut episode, So if you were subscribed, it dropped into your account on Wednesday.
I was driving on Wednesday afternoon because I'm subscribed obviously to my own podcast. So I got in the car on Wednesday afternoon and I guess I subscribed. It just automatically goes it sid just to play through my car, and I was like, I swear this is the episode we just recorded today. I was like, how is am I listening to this? And I checked and it was up. So I messaged the girls and I'm like, have we
are we doing a special? We do have done an early release, but it's because Laura got trigger happy with your trigger finger and you press posts now instead of schedule, which is fine.
Never happened in three and a half years, but I did. But all those people, all you guys out there that have subscribed, you got it early.
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It's follow.
So like when you're on Apple podcasts and we say subscribe, it's actually like on the top there's these dots that you press and it's follow.
And that is the definition now of subscribing.
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