We're back baby! UTI's, kids on planes. Plus Choosing Life on Her Terms - Exploring Euthanasia with Allison Willcox

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany.

Now I'm Laura.

I have a question for you. Wow, straight out of the gate.

We're not just going to have any like little nuh hello? Catch up?

Nah?

Do you have a toenail like a little tonel?

Yeah?

Like, does your little toe have a fully formed toenail?

No, it's tiny, way because look look at this shit. What is that?

That's rank? That's your question.

I have tiny, little fat toes, so like my toes tiny. Okay.

The reason I'm asking this is because I think that there is a portion of the popular out there whose little toe has been Yeah, it's just been beaten so hard.

It's had such a hard life.

My little toe has had such a hard life that the toenail.

Literally doesn't grow anymore.

And I mean if you've been following along to the pod for a while, you would know, or socials whatever I've just gotten back from Bali, I got a foot massage and I got my toenails done while I was there.

I know you got you know you did not. I'm calling bullshit. Get a refund because those toes have not been done. Case you look at that toe. Look at this beat. Wait wait, look she's trying to toes over in Hinde.

Stop looking stoop shaming me for my toes.

Guys.

No, the man was there and he was this lovely Balinese guy similar age massaging my feet, and even he every so often made this look like he was rebulsed, and I was like, ah, that's I.

Reckon, it's paying you pretend like you're enjoying it. Firstly, what happened to your feet? Because you said you got them done, They're not done. This is the fucking effects of the milky foot thing.

Like I got them done and then literally days later they're still shedding.

It's because you don't wear shoes anyways. Also a problem. I feel like when we were made, like however we're made by spontaneous combustion, God, whatever, when we were made, I feel like he put us together and he starts from the top down and by the time he gets to the little toe. I feel like it's the last thing he puts on the body and he's just got nothing left. He's like I've run out of juice. So you get this tiny, little smidgy toe. That's what I

That last one is like a little what's that small little potato? What's that type of potato? It's a chat potato?

Well, how was Barley harther than with your foot experience?

So this was my very first holiday with our kids. I went to Bali for seven days without my children, just with my sister and like one star from Tony Mate, I mean we worked. I feel like I have to justify myself every time.

But you also don't like even if you went away without work, that's okay.

Now, how dare you, as a mother have a life and enjoy yourself without your children? How sacrilege? It was amazing. I missed my kids so much, like so so much. It was weird enough to side back. I am coming to you today from Bali. No I'm back. I'm back in the studio. I miss them so much. But it also made me realize how much I don't like other people's children.

Is that a terrible thing to say? I think that's standard.

I love my kids. I don't think they're perfect. I'm not like someone who's like, my kids are amazing. Everyone else's kids suck.

You do tell me every day that your kids are basically in mensa the genius, But no.

I think when they're your own children, you just have such a different level of patience for their shit, right, Like when they're your kids, you're like, Okay, I can deal with this because I created you.

You are my.

DNA, and I am responsible for whatever it is that you do, and because you have to yeah, and you can just inside your body, there's a great level of patience and everything else. And I guess, like I've said this before, but I have. I was never someone who was particularly maternal, Like I never had this overwhelming like I want to be a mom, I want to have babies. But when I had kids, I was like, oh my god, I love being a mom and everything changed about my life.

But I think there's a really small special subgroup of people in the world, like the child cares and teachers.

Yeah, daycare workers, that's it, Yes.

That actually enjoy other people's kids. Otherwise, I don't think you're a minority like I think. I think the minority is people that froth other people's kids.

Okay, So I say this because so we flew to Bali. Oh dear, we flewp Balle. We flew Jetstar. It's a small seat for six hours, and directly behind me there was like a six year old boy and he had brought plato on the plane. He was flying with his dad, but maybe he was like five, I don't know.

He was young.

He was flying with his dad. His dad was in the middle seat, and then he had his other brother who was a little bit older, on the other seat next to him, like next to his dad, and the kid had put the tray table down and was playing with Plato, but was like banging, that's banging the trade. I don't know if you could hear that from Afar, but he was. He was really making a pancake. He was really getting into the Plato making, which meant that

Yeah, from parent to parent, I'm gonna parent down with you.

I was like, could you maybe ask him not to bang on the seat, and the dad goes, you don't bang on the seat.

That was what I got.

Anyway, two seconds later, bang bang bang, and I had this moment where I was like, fuck you for your shitty parenting because he wasn't like the kid was obviously occupied and it wasn't affecting the dart. The dad just like he just went into coast mode and just let it affect everyone else.

And I was like, how do you So did you turn around again?

Yes, and said it again, but this time to the kid directly, which stop your little shit.

I turned around.

And I and I said it exactly how I would say it to my own children. I turned around and I was like, can you please stop hitting the seat or you're in that naughty corner? Yeah, and tastu.

Yeah. He stopped for real five minutes then he started. Yet it hits different when like, remember when you're a kid, you know what you can push with your parents, but when another parent disciplined you, it's cooked. You're like, you listen because it just hits different totally.

But it just reinforces how much your own kids don't listen to you. No, no, To be fair, this child didn't listen to me either, So it was very similar to parenting my own children.

So what do you do? Just let him kick you.

Yeah, for for five and a half hours, he kicked the back of my seat. Now, actually he kicked it for about three hours and then he had a sleep, He had a nap, He wore himself.

I I'm not good at confrontation, but I also have really thin patients on a plane and for six hours on that tiny jet star seat, I would have lost it.

I ended up turning around, I think, in total, about four or five times to say can you please stop hitting this?

Or I would have asked me you stop hitting the seat if there was another seat.

And three of those times was directed at the dad and twice to the kid, which I think is an excessive amount of time to have to ask someone to stop hitting your seat.

The dad couldn't care less.

He did not give a single not one single fuck. Was he by himself, no mum, was traveling on his own. He had already checked out of his life. Like you know, if you have telling if you've got a border plane with your two kids and you're not co parenting and you're got to do one hundred percent of it yourself.

He was like, I do not care.

You cannot ask me to do anything right now. I am not listening. I am surviving. And I think I should have had more patience for him.

You know what, he was traveling alone with his kids. Yeah, I feel sorry for him. So he was probably just like fucking small pos to pay like chicken cop this for six hours?

Do you know what?

Okay?

That was the worst. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. They started with the two worst part, my feet and my playing troop.

The rest of that troop was bringing to people all they want.

It was amazing, It was so amazing. But you know what, this isn't about me. This is about you because I read a Daily Mail article that you are going through a heartbreaking period in your relationship. Actually, I will read you the headline. Daily Mail wrote a really beautiful article about britt This is the article Brittany Hockley reveals heartbreaking news about new Swiss soccer boyfriend Benjamin Zerrust.

Bejaminam Benmin Benjamin don't have to go and your head like goes like a little peacock. Sorry, what is the heartbreaking news? Okay, I read this. I don't know you told me. It's that makes it sound like someone's dying. I saw this yesterday and I was like, fuck, did you guys break up? And you didn't tell me?

Like I thought something bad had actually probably.

Something that would happen, like yeah, I just would go into like the depths of depression and you'd have to come pull me out and you'd be like, what happened. I'd be like I didn't want to tell you. No, that's a lie.

You would just send me a text and then you wouldn't answer your phone.

That's what would happen.

Brittany likes to be really dramatic in text message and then she puts it on do not disturb and doesn't answer because.

It's I can't. I told you, I don't. You guys don't believe me. I don't deal with this stuff very well, and I want to tell anyone anything, so when I have to, it's like I dropped the bomb and then run away. So I can't deal with you know.

But you do it in the most dramatic way possible. You'll be like, hey, so Jordan broke up with me. I'm super depressed and I you know, my life is not going to go on and then you then you don't answer.

It's like, fuck, that is not completely I broke up with him, no.

Chaking.

Yes, I do drop a bomb and run and then I pretend I don't exist anymore because that's how I deal with my problems. Okay, it's not healthy. I don't recommend it.

Yeah, and we've done a lot, We've done four years of self help on this podcast.

But it hasn't really helped. Well, hang on, what was the Brittany self? What is the heartbreak? I've told me it.

I don't know.

Actually, I think we didn't read it, so we could be broken up or dying, and you just stop reading. Brittany's going through something really bad. I'll just check out here.

Because I knew it wasn't true.

This could have been the worst moment of my life. You're not gonna tell you now. I'm gonna make you read it another date. You'll have to read read it.

Do you know what you say? This could be the worst moment of your life. You look pretty good. You're not gonna see him for three months? I'm not, you know, to be honest, the article was anti climat Dick one hundred, like, you're not gonna see him for three months. I'm like, June, you'll be fine, You're gonna be okay.

It's actually thirteen weeks.

How do you feel heartbreaknant? As the article said, no to.

This is the longest we would have gone in the last we would have been together fourteen months by the time I see him. But in the last year, this is the longest. It is a long time, like thirteen weeks to then only see each other for two weeks at a time. It's a long time, most heartbreaking moment, clickbait headline for sure, like I'm gonna live, but it is really sad and every time I leave him definitely

Pretty actually covid Is that actually true though?

Well, I had so many messages. I think it is. I think there was some study with someone and some persons.

Yeah, so it was pretty accurate. Yeah.

So I went over there a little bit unwell, like I started to get a cult. But like one day in I was great, it was gone, it was nothing. I got three amazing days with Ben.

He got three days off.

We had three amazing days in Majorca and it was just like everything I could have imagined, everything I wanted. It was beautiful. Then we got back to Scotland and I think I had COVID. I think I was. I was basically sick the whole time. I know it doesn't look like that. I probably only showed you guys one story set actually showing how sick I was.

But it was so shit.

And then my sister got it. She's still bedridden. Sherry's been been ridden for seven days. And apparently there's this new strain of COVID going around the UK. I think fucking happens in the UK.

You didn't want to do a test, didn't want to check.

Well, it doesn't. I wasn't seeing anyone, and I was sick anyway, Like I was just at home and seeing Ben, and there's no point checking anymore. The flu's worse than COVID these days, so they say. But I was just really really unwell and that was most of my holiday, unfortunately, but still it was. Ben didn't get sick, and he told me he wouldn't. He's like, I've got this crazy immunity. He's like a very rarely get sick. So whatever. But I got a few days either side that were really

Scotland's not doing it for me anymore. I am not surprised.

It's like it's worth it because I get to spend my holiday with him, but it means that every holiday of my entire life I'm in it's somewhere over there now and I'm still cold and rainy.

So how are you going to navigate this? Because, like I mean, there's been lots of talk about going and spending prolonged periods over there, Like if you are not enjoying it as a place to be, how do you be.

I enjoy it because I'm with him and my sister was there, but it's more just the idea. And I guess if I was there for longer periods it sounds crazy, but you'd be ducking over to Europe, like you can be in Paris in like an hour on a plane or an hour on a train. Like there are ways to escape Scotland, of course, and Scotland's not all bad. It's just that the weathers. You're never gonna enjoy it. You're never gonna go swimming in the pool. They have

Last time he said they're sixty five. They're sixty five?

Are they really?

Because last time he said that they were in their sixties and they were offended.

So I no, I say seventy. It's Eugene's sixty fifth birthday next week, so happy birthday, Eugene.

And one of them is a psychic. Eugene's a psychic. So just so you know, Eugene is a psychic. Las time went over there, not last night, but like you know, at Christmas time, she went over there and she saw him and he said that Mitch and Mitch's boyfriend were going to break up. And then literally three weeks after Brick got back, they broke up. Yeah, it was a surprise.

So Eugene was right. Yeah, I did tell Mitch Eugene was a really famous psychic in Scotland and in the UK. He used to like probably exaggeration, but he used to work for like the FBI or something.

He worked.

You know how you might see true those true crime documentaries where they bring psychics in sometimes when they're really desperate to try and find a missing person.

We've all see a medium.

Yeah, so he used to do that, and he used to do rings for a lot of people. But he also was a hospital worker, right, so he's very science based but also besees things. Anyway, Yeah, he said about Mitch. He was like, Mitch's going to break up with his partner, and I was like, no, he's really happy, Like they've been together for five years. That's not going to happen. He's like, it's going to happen. It's going to happen very soon. They're two different people and something, they're going

That's like, every time you see him, though, are you like tell me what's gonna happen?

Every time I see him, I look really deeply into his eyes, waiting for him to like get it, receive information, and tell me anyway, receive nothing. He didn't say anything. I didn't ask him, and then he drove me to the airport. They took me to the airport. So they were driving me to the airport, and then just as I was going to get it, I was like, you do not have to ask. I was like, did anything come through for me this trip? He's like, you're fucking

The vision about me for Fox too?

Think it's because he excuse me, what about me? I'm the one there?

Do you think it's because he's gay?

Like maybe they read there's gay people better. Maybe gay mediums get different energies from different people. I don't know, but Mitch comes through a lot with Eugene.

That's very interesting. Do you know what?

This just reminded me of something.

It's completely off topic, But when I was away and I didn't have my own children and Matt was parenting completely solo parenting.

That's a lie. He had his mum, but he was trying, oh yeah, we know, that's a lot.

I sent him a lot of messages being like, I reckon, we should have a third kid. I reckon, we should just do it next years. All the time I was like, I decided away. Yeah yeah, no, I know, And he wasn't. So he's really against him. He was really against the idea. He was like, that's having a newborn sounds like a fucking terrible idea, and I was like, we should just do it. We should just like, let's just have one.

And now that you're back and you're sleep deprived again and you got the kids, do you still think that, Yeah, why where is this come from? I don't know.

Maybe the last few, like they're shriveling up. I'm going to head into early menopause soon, and they're like, let's just go one more chance. Maybe let's hit it, let's go.

No.

I don't know.

I just this part of me that's like, maybe we should have one more hit.

I swear to God correct me if I'm wrong. I'm like a crack addict. If it wasn't that long ago that Matt was like, I want another kid, and you were like, well, cowboy, yeah, how to turn tea bush?

Because he took he took it off the table. He said no, and I'm like, don't say no.

To me like that baby, you like a child, put it in me.

So now he's like no, he did right back, and he wrote fuck me a newborn and I read that as fuck me a newborn, like like I should do me.

Yeah, comma space a newborn? Question yeah, it said. No, that's not what it is.

Punctuation is very important kids, Yeah, yeah, grammar is important. But no, yeah, I think so. You still think that, but not now, Like, don't go getting too crazy guys, Like maybe like next year.

Oh no, this doesn't excite me. It gives me exciting.

We have to talk about how it's gonna work. Anyway. Look, I love that we've just had a little catch up. I mean, we haven't seen each other for the last two weeks, but also we had a week off the pod. So for us, this is just as much of a catch up, is what it sounds like to you guys.

Yeah, no, really, it's all real. We haven't heard it. So I also got a uti over there. Awesome, but I didn't get it until the last day.

Do you know why you got that sex? You were having such dirty sex. It's not dirty, No, I know it's not.

I take the back.

I've had very clean and hygienic I've had so many UTIs in my last time. I've had a bladder infection because it got so far up there.

Do you know what it is? It's because I don't have sex for three months and then I have enough sex to make up for the fact that I didn't have sex for three months. That's why I get each hat.

Yeah.

Do you know how we had that conversation about how your body knows when it wants it to stop. Your body's literally like stop.

Now, please please, he's coming, please please, do not put that to do No. So I got ETI on the very last day, and I was on the day that I was flying out. And when I say get it, anyone that's listening has had yout You know, there's a very particular feeling at the start when you get it. I don't know if you remember, no tingling. It's the heaviness, it's the well frequently I mean frequent you in but

Yeah, same, same, that's my uterus after walking around.

All that, I have to dug it back in sometimes. So anyway, I could feel this feeling and I was like, and for me, it, I mean for most people happens quickly, but the last time, remember you guys, I told you I had one in Bali, and within like five hours, I was wean blood and I was in so much pain and Ben had to go to the doctors. Anyway, Ben was that training. I could feel that I was

Yeah.

I said to Alex, I've got a UTI and I cannot get on a plane like this. And he's like, no worries. And then he said, do you want me to come in with you or do you want me to st out here? And I said, well no, you can come in. He's like, I don't want to embarrass you. I said, you're not going to embarrass me, Like, of

She's got a bun in.

YOUTI and I was like, what the fuck?

Alex?

I was like, everyone in the thing turned around.

It only came on this morning, but it's given them lots of pain.

And I was like, Alex, I was like, remember how you just said you don't want to come in because you want embarrass me. I was like, everyone in here doesn't.

Need to know.

I have you two. I. Then the lady at the back turns around. Don't worry, Darland. I just picked up my ut medication. She's like eighty. And I was like, this is the worst moment of my life.

Do you know what is the worst moment of my life? You're a Scottish accent. It's fucking awful.

But I was like, this is an unnecessary moment. Then it was so hard. It was like trying to get crack. Not that I've ever tried to get cracked, but this is how I imagine it was. Iron cracks probably easier it was. I had to sit and I had to we allowed a whole form with my whole history. I had to sit in a private room. He wasn't going to give it to me. He's like, I can't give you this, and I'm like, please give me this medication. Oh my gosh,

Okay, does that mean that we'll never have to listen to that?

Wait? So, is that it?

That's your number one update from Scotland.

You just went away with the love of your life and the story. Yes, but Ben still loved me when I was at the depths of my despair and he looked after me so like, I just feel like he's my forever.

Oh, oh my god, it's so cute.

Okay. One other thing I will tell you. This absolutely blew my mind and I can't believe I forgot until right now.

We really should make a list of the shit that we're supposed to talk about, because we get to this point where I do.

Make a list in my head. I was driving along in Scotland and guess what I saw past me? Eleprecorn close a life bun cut jumper. No, stop it in Scotland's stop it?

Yes?

Was it one of Ben's family members? No, it was a stranger. And we were zipping past and she was walking past, and I tried to wind the window down really fast, but I was about fifty meters past at this point and I yelled out really loudly, we love love. And she turned around but I was too far away. Then she was like, stop in Australia. She's like, someone gave this away. I found it on the road and then I told Sherry and she was like, I saw

Guys, this is just a promo. I know it's getting Warman out, but our fucking life on cut jumpers are so nice. Like the quality of them if so good. If you haven't got yourself a life and cut jumper yet there's still some available and like you know what, it doesn't even matter if you don't like the podcast. The quality of the jumpers of fucking litty City. I was trying to say, then, and let me see it again.

Oh my god, it's life on cut.

And the girl who was in the Gojack.

Was like, why so sorry? When we talk your Gojack.

And she got out. It was so cute. She got out. She stole your star, She stolent Uber she didn't give it back. She stole my Gojack. She loved you, but not enough to give you the uber back, which I have a lot of respect for. She got out and she was like, I'm coming to your Sydney live show. So it was very cool. Running into life is in BALI who are coming to the live shows?

That is really cool.

And this is your reminder that if you don't have your live show tickets yet, the shows start in two weeks now. Our very first show is Adelaide and it's going to be so much fun. And if you haven't sent us, you're accidently unfiltered stories. You ask Guncut questions. If you're coming to a live show, we want real life content. You can remain anonymous.

You shouldn't.

We would love to get you up on stage and do it all together. But if you want to remain anonymous, it's okay. Just come to the shows, get your tickets, send us your content. At every single show, we've got different guests coming. And if you've been following along on Instagram on Life on Cut podcast, you will see that we've been dropping. We've been bred caraming the guests along. In Adelaide, we have Emily Weir and also Kelly Finlayson.

She was so so my god, how did I not think of this as if I'm not making you guys do a dance off for the live show, fucking brilliant. I will do the floss because I have forgotten my sulcinering with Emily, and I will do some sort of work in the background.

Okay.

So the reason why I wanted to get em on the live show and I was so excited for us to interview her is because we were doing like press around dancing with the stars, and we were sitting in the green room of like the Today Show. Right, and Emily, she will stay out late, she will party as hard as the rest of them. But when I say party, she is completely sober. She doesn't drink, she doesn't do any drugs.

She is stone cold, soberrady, one eighty cleany, but not a Meani. I liked Mark in our next jumper, which you know, and we've spoken about sobriety quite a bit on this podcast. We've done episodes on conscious sobriety before. I was kind of shocked when Emily said, I can't remember what we were doing.

Maybe it was like at one of the finals for dancing and I was like running aroun with the bottle of gin backstage and I was like on a swig and she and she was very much like, no, I'm sober. And it still struck me as like a bit of a oh, like weird, yeah, weird. And I hate that I had that reaction because I should know better, but I did have this instant like, oh, you don't drink, Okay,

She's also such a breath of fresh air. She's got so much energy, and she's so chatty and she's so happy. She's just like one of those people that you love to be around. So I'm super excited about that. But then, speaking of inspiration, we also have Kelly Finlayson. You guys might have heard the episode we did with Kelly a little while ago. So Kelly is Adelaide based, and she has been battling bowel cancer which spread to her lungs stage four for quite a long time. She sort of

But yes, go and get your tickets. It's life on cutpodcast dot com dot a you. There is a ticket link page on the website and you can get tickets to all the shows there. But Adelaide, you are our number one baby, and we are coming for you in two weeks. All right, it is time for Accidentally Unfiltered And Britt has been pissing herself for the last twenty five minutes about this one.

But sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I find things funny and I'm like, does anyone else funny? It'sunny? Are my sigo?

Okay?

Hey, ladies, It's taken me a while to write this one in it is a memory I'd rather forget. When I was nineteen or twenty, I went through a weird phase where my discharge stunk. I must have had BV or something and just not known it. But I'm talking really bad.

Obviously.

I was really self conscious and worried about it. As it has never happened to me before.

Anyway.

One day I was hanging out with this guy I was in love with, and he grabbed my phone to google something and my last search result came up. He reads it out loud, Why does my vagina discharge stick? Ha ha? He had a shocked look on his face, And I tell you, my survival instincts kicked in. I said, oh, ha ha, very funny, Michael, very funny for googling that Michael, and acted unfazed as if our mutual friend Michael, who is known as a jokester, had taken my phone.

You're a good bat.

I think he believed me and it just got brushed aside and never discussed again. But I tell you my fight or flight kicked in.

Good lie, that's a solid like.

Michael the joke Stop. No, it is not Michael, the jokes that took my phone and googled why does my life for trying to dischouge stick? As a side note, we got an update. There's a side note. I am now twenty six and have been with the above mentioned bloke for four years. We own properties together and live together, and my discharge no longer stinks. My unsolicited advice to listeners go to the doctors and delete your search history.

I was at work. This is many, many many years ago when I used to work an office and I remember one of my colleagues opened something on his phone and he'd been watching porn.

Just came as, I reckon, that's really common.

I reckon, that's really good. All so can I also want to say getting BV is also common. Fucking everyone has a stint of it at some point in their life. Just go and get some antibiotics.

Yeah, but I think the moral of the story is here is that like, if you get it, fine, but.

Go to the doctor.

Yeah.

But the problem is is because nobody ever talks about it. No one's ever like I've got back to gagonosis.

Yeah.

When I was in my early twenties, I hadn't ever had it. Oh fuck. It was the worst. I was like, what.

Vagina sty dead? And my boyfriend at the time was a doctor and he was like, you have BV. And now it turns out there's been research that's come out that it's from them actually catch it from guys and he was cheating on me. So you know what, that doesn't checks out. That is some but yeah, so just like go and get yourself checked because it's like, it's not normal to smell that bad, and it's also shouldn't be embarrassing, and it's so easy to treat, but it's

To be fair, that was probably listening to Yeah if their mums, I hope, so yeah? And is there not you tell them about it?

Life one God, you live your best squirting life. Do nothing to be ashamed of BV and a squirter. That is so funny.

What a way to round that episode out. Okay, well should we talk about what the episode is about? Look yet?

No? Now we shouldn't. We should have just ended here.

No, look today, I'm really excited to bring you this episode. And the reason I say excited is because this story is a friend of mine, a friend I went to school with, and she has a truly incredible story, and she's so passionate and happy and vibrant and positive that I just feel like I wanted the world to know her story. So her name is Alison Wilcox. Alison and

I mean, I loved speaking to Ali, and I think, you know, you nailed it so well Britain saying that she's so positive, which I think for a lot of people, you think, how could you be so positive when you're faced with such adversity. But Ali is the type of person that I think she deals with tragedy with dark humor, Like it's that whole anecdote of like if you don't laugh,

Allie welcome to life on cut and I appreciate it. Well, Allie.

It's always good to start at the bottom and then work our way back up from there. We do a thing at the start of every interview. It is called an accidentally unfiltered story, your most embarrassing story, and I hear you have a good one.

I'll get you to choose which one my first period or a nude story.

My first period, or we go both, but I reckon go a nude story.

Okay, all right, I'm like, I don't know all my male friends will listen to this. Within the first weeks of being home from the hospital after my accident, all my friends were around Port McCrorie and we used to party a lot. So we hired a townhouse that was up the road from my house, the two story townhouse. So we're having a party there and I found out they had a spa, which was just a hot spa, so I was like, I need to get in there

So we didn't really think, well, that was a great connection you guys had.

Yeah, exactly, like this is good. So we went in the spa, him and I and we pretty much skinny dipped in the spa and I got out of the spar. He lifted me out. He was great, Like all the guys I've dated since my accident, they've just been really carrying a kind so he would lifted me everywhere. So he lifted me out of the spa. And when I got out of the spar I realized I didn't know

Oh my god.

I slipped my boobchoop dress over and then we went back to the townhouse and he piggybacked me up to the second floor and we sat on the veranda and I was in my wheel and I don't know if it was the wine or if it was dark, but I started to roll and I didn't realize that there was no railing on the brander. Oh my god, I fell three meters off the veranda onto the concrete on the ground. I rolled out into the road. As soon as I hit the ground, my boob tube went up and down and went around my stomach.

Alie, this is messed up.

Only people in this house party Allie and he was at the top and he was screaming, mummy, mommy, and I was like, good, my puppy helped me. We were screaming so loudly that everyone in this house came out and they were just saw me laying slats.

On the ground nude. And I couldn't sit up or do anything at that time. So my best friend raced out and like lifted me into my wheelchair and I was like, oh Holly, that's the worst.

We can't love it, Ellie. This isn't a news story. That's fux. That's the trauma. You were fell up a bony onto the road.

I was laying on the ground. I was like, if I ever become unemployed, I could be a leveler for a builder. Gildish to pay me to go into the houses and tell the wind the floor's not level.

Because you'll roll off.

Yeah. After that, I was like, I need to date someone where there's no language barrier.

I think the best part of this is laying on the ground naked screaming mummy Poppy. That is incredible. It is incredible. But now I need to hear the period story because if it's almost as good as that one, I don't know if you can top it.

So I was a bitch to my mum when I was fifteen. I got my period when I was pretty late, so he's just surf a lot. So the first day I got my period was after school, was like three pm, and Mom was like, do you want me to help you with anything? And I was like pretty much like fuck off, leave me alone. So I put a tampon in and then I went out to it and I was like, drive me to the beach. You want to

Up like a hot dog dog, like a hot dog.

Literally, it was like a hot dog.

Yeah.

It was just awful. And then I was like, I should probably be nicer to my mom. She was like offering to help me, and I was like, it's off.

But it's also crazy that at fifteen, through your friends, all through school or some signed a chat, you haven't been taught how to put a tamp on.

It on one And you're like, I feel like my parents should have told me this at some point prior tending to put a tampont in, But also like, how did at no point of sex education or like schooling, was there not a class where someone said, here is a pad and this is a tampon. Just so that we know that there's some consistency to the education that's going out.

And the more you actually picture and think about, like pulling the lips apart and just horizontally putting tap And it was so easy.

And everyone was saying how hard it was to put them in when you first got your parents, and I was like, oh, that was too busy.

She's like, what's everyone talking?

And that didn't raise any red flags.

It's so good.

It must be loose or something. I don't know.

Oh my god, that's so important. I mean, that's a really important part of this story. So before your accident at Tampon at eighteen, No, before at eighteen, you were super active. You were an amazing I remember, like, you're an amazing surfer. You served every single day. So tell us a little bit about your life before the accident.

So I was very lucky growing up, Mum and dad living at home. They were both chef they both became nurses when I was about twelve. It's a very caring environment. I have an older sister who's four years older than me, and we were both really active. I got into a few sports when I was young, but nothing beat surfing. So when I was about ten, I got into surfing competitively and I did it every day, and I've got

Alie, how old were you when the accident happened.

I was six weeks after my eighteenth birthday.

Can you talk us through what happened that day, like, what was the sequence of events.

Yeah, I was going on my first road trip with friends out to Narrowbright. We're going to the races. So we left on Friday and we're coming home on Sunday. So we went to the races on the Saturday, and then we left early on the Sunday to get home for work and stuff on Monday. And Narraw Brays through Welcome Mountain Ranges. So it's about a five hour drive west from Port McCrary.

And they're really windy mountains, aren't they.

Yeah, really windy and steep, and it's not trees and stuff on them. It's just like cliffs. That drop off started raining just a little bit, and then everyone was exhausted. In the car. I was in the front seat, My best friend was in the backseat, she's still my best friend to this day. And then the driver she was texting and driving. And back then I didn't think much of it. I was eighteen. I didn't think that was bad or anything. But she looked down at a text

And so what happened the bottom of the mountain. Had you knocked yourself unconscious on the way down or were you conscious the whole time?

Yeah, so on the third roll, I got knocked out. Oh my god. That I was thinking, Oh, this doesn't happen to my friends or family, will be fine, or just be being on the car, and I just envisioned us getting out and seeing a small ding on the front and being in trouble for crashing. So that's all I thought, we were crashing that when we got to the bottom, I became conscious and I couldn't breathe, and

And she did that with two torn quad muscles, which, like you just said, physiologically, that should mean you are not walking around, Like this is what he's connecting your need to your hip. You should not be walking. But she managed to climb a mountain and find help.

Yeah, exactly.

Wow, what happened to the driver?

She was fine, She didn't get any serious injuries. I think she was shocked. She just seemed really shocked at the accident. I don't remember much of her. I think they sat her away, but I remember Kim sitting next to me when I was waiting for the ambulance, and I had so much blood in my eyes. I kept saying to her, you're bleeding, You're bleeding, but it was coming out of my brain through my eyes.

Oh my god, God. And why you said that? You felt like, I mean, you couldn't breathe. What was happening to your lungs at the time.

So I broke all my ribs and they went through my lungs. So I was slowly drowning in my own blood. Oh my god, Elie, So I had like a leader of blood in my lungs.

Were you in pain at that time or do you sort of go past the pain threshold? Because you hear sometimes people in these intense situations, they don't actually have any comprehension of how bad it is.

I could feel the pain. That's what kept bringing me out of my life. When I was unconscious. It kept bringing me out, and the police officer didn't know what to do with me because I would stop breathing. He kept sitting me up, and every time I sat me up, I felt my neck collapsed. Oh my god, I could feel just pain all over my body. But he didn't know what to do. He was the new police officer. He was the first one on the scene with all emergency services, so I think he freaked out a bit.

And so what happened when the emergency services arrived? What did they do to you? How did they treat you? And then how did you get out of there?

So the ambulance came. I think as soon as they saw me, they were like, yeah, we can't take you to Port Base.

God no, Port McCrory Base Hospital. If everyone is like ports of retirement towns. I mean, I worked at that hospital for ten years. It's equipped for low key emergencies, but not something like this.

So they came and then as soon as they saw me. They were like, we need to call a helicopter. So the helicopter came from Newcastle. Their ambulance gave me a green whistle and they had to lift me up the hill and I was having the best time of life, Like as soon as they came that kareema, so I was like, this is great. Then it took about three hours to get there from the ambulance, I think, and I had a really lovely helicopter driver. I'm matty sure.

I heard you speak about this. And the paramedic who was flying the helicopter he made the decision that he was like the Newcastle hospital is just not equipped enough and he without the approval and against their wishes, he took you to another better equipped hospital.

I remember them arguing. So it put me into like an induced coma in the helicopter, but my pain kept waken me out of that. And I remember a nurse trying to get me off at John Hunter because that's a refiel petrol there, and he was just like, no, remember taking arguing about it.

I mean, it's such an incredible and also a huge risk that he took in order to do that. I mean, it's probably what saved your life, but also that's such a personal risk for his own career, and also you know, who knows what could have happened between that flight from Newcastle to Sydney.

Exactly something happened. He had been so much trouble.

Allison, what's your relationship like now with your friend who was driving the car? I asked this because you know, at seventeen eighteen, like we all did stupid things when we were driving, whether it be texting or driving too fast or just not paying attention because we all think are invincible. Have you got a relationship with that friend? Still?

No, we don't talk anymore. I think at eighteen we both didn't understand the consequences of what happened. Yeah, so I didn't realize what my journey was and she didn't realize what her journey would be, So she lost a license. But I think our parents made the decision to cut contact for the both of us because I think for her to see me in a wheelchair every day would have been a lot for her. And then also the first five years after spinal injury, you go through so

I can't imagine. I can't put myself in that position, but it must be hard for you to hear that a part of the reason you're not friends is because she couldn't bear to look at you, like she couldn't bear the grief.

There must be a part of you that's like, how the fuck do you think I.

Feel like I'm the one that's now in a wheelchair, Like, suck it up a little bit.

Yeah, there was a few things I wanted to do. I was like, when I get home, I'll take her up for lunch and I'll go to a place to stairs, oh and just not be able to get in. And I was like, okay, no, that's awful for both of us. Yeah. Yeah. So at eighteen, like now, I don't have any anger or I don't feel any emotions at all because I know it wasn't out of maliciousness. And I see people

It must infuriate you though, when it's your friends and you're like, this is why I'm like I am now.

Yeah, yeah, can you talk us through? What were the injuries that were sustained?

I got fucked up. Yeah, so I broke nine vertebra in my back from C three to T six. The biggest one was a burst fracture at T four which caused the spinal cord injury. So they set out a complete spina cord injury, so that means my spinal cord was fully squished. There's no blood in that section. And then I broke my collarbone my right hand. I popped something behind my eye with it, That's why there was so much blood. I broke my jaw. I lost a lot of my tea broke on my ribs, punction lungs.

Was your brain okay? Like could you imagine that you'd have a bleed on the brain or something, because it sounds like.

Yeah, Well, when the car rolled, the car collapse dawned to me. And for the first few months they thought I had a brain injury because they kept coming in and doing all the tests, but I was on a lot of drugs. So then they ended up doing the test six months after and it came back normal. But then I think to myself the amount of times had been under anesthetic and medications, like, there's got to be something, yeah there.

Yeah, what did your recovery process look like? So when you went into rehab and then for how long were you in hospital? Like not just your recovery process, but like how your family were able to support you through that, Like what was that period like post the accident?

So that was really difficult for my family. My best friend Kim called Dad the night of the outset. The cops didn't, she did, and he packed me one day's worth of clothes because he thought he would be me back the next day. So just no, and they drove down at nine pm. We crashed at six pm. They left sports at like nine or ten pm and got there like three am, and I just remember looking at my mom. I was on a ventilator by that point.

Did you realize how bad it was before this moment or when your mom walked in and she couldn't be in the room or look at you. Was that a moment where you were like, fuck, this must be worse than I thought.

Well, you don't really understand unless you work in the medical field. That's spinal God in dreamings forever, So I was like, oh, yeah, I'll just do rehab and it'll be fine. Yeah. So I never really understood any of it until six months in when I wasn't getting better, and like I had so many secondary complications from spinal cording injury that I realized I was going to be sick forever. So it wasn't until then I just thought I'd be doing rehab like a broken leg.

Yeah. How many surgeries have you now had as part of your recovery process?

Probably over one hundred. So every year I lose function in mums, and that due to spinal fluid that gets caught on the scar tissue. It's got a SEARINGX that's really Red's like three percent of people I could just get it. So every I've become a quatriplated for a few months and then they drain the fluid and that surgery is fifteen hours long.

So just to be clear on that for those that are listening. So Allison's situation is that she can't use her legs and she's in a wheelchair. But because of this condition, for a few months, you become a quad you can't use your arms or anything. They drain it and you get the use of your arms again. Correct, Yeah, and then that is changing now in the future, they can't do those operations anymore, is.

That right, Yes, So each time that surgery happens, I lose a bit more function, and each time they do it, I get more and more complications from the surgery. So last year I was in hospital for six months. They did the surgery, but they couldn't close my back because it just won't close anymore. So I had a giant hole in my back for six months, and then I had a holy my spinal cord, so all my brain fluid was leaking out, so my brain was sitting in my neck for six months. And then your brain fluid

So from the next time that that happens, That's what they say, the next operation.

So they put a shunt in every year, but because I'm so active, it's just a really complicated secondary complicated, like there's only one surgeon that can operate on it in the world.

Wow.

They put a shunt in and then it slides out or it breaks, so they have to put a new shunt in. So when the next shunk fails, I'll just lose function in my arms and then my brain.

Do you know what that looks like in terms of time frame?

So I usually could only get a year between surgeries. The most I've had is like two years back. But leave it and go and operate. I'll probably get like three or four years. But once the shunk comes out, it could either be a slow decline or a pasticline, but it'll be very painful.

And is that what you've decided you do? Have you decided to do an operation again when it happens or to not do no?

So the doctor said they don't want to approad, so they were there one to make the call as they said it to me and just standing at the end of the bed and Brad was sitting next to me in Sally and they just looked horrified, But in my brain I was like, thank god someone said it. I would have felt like I failed if it was me making the decision, but they made it for me. So I was like, finally I can be at peace and not do medical stuff all the time.

Like you were almost relieved, and Brad is your partner, You almost relieved that they were saying, don't choose. We're telling you we can't operate anymore.

Yeah, and I could find some cowboy neurosurgeon that would do it, but it would just go terribly. So the best neurosurgeon for this in the world said no more. So. Yeah, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Alison, how do you how do you even begin to compartmentalize this? Going from being eighteen looking forward to having all of you know, whatever the plans were for life ahead of you, to then being given this diagnosis that seems to just be compounding as the years go on. How do you manage to maintain even a glimmer of positivity? And I know that you are very stoic about this, and you seem to have still so many things that you're looking forward to.

Yeah, so the first five years was really difficult. I spent four years in hospital and I just like I had a million things go wrong. I've had my bower move, I've had a million blooder surgeries, like just a lot of stuff do with a lot of chronic pain. So as soon as I'm feeling well, I don't know what it is, I just feel happy. Yeah, So the days I'm feeling good, I have anxiety or depression. I don't know why. I think it's like a coping like I

Well, speaking of your support system, I mean, we'll come back to what your future looks like and your plans, because your plans sound amazing. But let's go back to Brad, your partner. How long have you been with Brad and how did you guys meet because we love a love story here.

So Brad was actually captain with Sherry at school. Yes, yeah, and he was dating one of my best friends at the time. He dated her for eight years and we remained friends, been friends since we were twelve. We started hanging out a lots about four years ago and I got into jet skiing and he was like, oh, I could make your hoist to get on the JETSKO went home to sell and I was like, this dude can make me shit. Knew we how to make me the caller stuff.

I need to keep him around.

He was like, yeah, she's like you should date him. And then my aunt and my sister for like six months, every day we're like, you need to date Brad. You need to break Brade, and then yeah, I asked him on a day and he said he's been waiting for that. So it was really sweet.

I mean, what was it like for you when you started dating again after having an accident. I would assume that a lot of people might feel a bit insecure or a bit worried about, you know, the complications that come from even just the mobility side of things. Were you ever worried or were you just like, let's do this brand.

As soon as they told me I couldn't walk again, I called one of my friends and I said, do you think I'll be able to do Doggie?

Probably if you just lay on your tummy right.

Yeah, And I was like, okay, I need to try.

So I love that that was your first thought ali luck.

Yeah, I think my wheelchair is a good deterrent to fuck boys too.

Yeah, amazing.

So every man I've dated up to my accident has been the most caring human you could find. So I've been quite lucky. But yeah, the first year, I just went a bit wild. I was a bit worried I wasn't gonna be attractive anymore, and I was like really insecure. But as soon as I got home, guys that I was with before, like, we're asking me on dates and stuff, So it was fine and I can still do doggie so well.

I mean that's a question that I think a lot of people the dog you one not yeah, the doggie. But the question a lot of people probably wonder with somebody in your situation is like, I'm not sure exactly where your feeling stops.

Is it from your waist down?

I have all feeling. So my injury actually is in complete and it took me years to work it out. But yeah, I lost my wheelchair virginity. When I was still in hospital, I had a neck race on and my hands in casts, and someone you and I both know signed me out of hospital for the night and we went to a hotel.

You need to tell me this.

Thow me around on il Are you kidding?

So someone we know came in, kidnapped you from the hospitals, signed, fucked your brains out, put you back in the wheelchair, willed you back. Yeah, that is that one of got to be one of the best. Can't tell me this is going to be the greed. I can't wait to tell Sherry.

Yeah. I'm like it was so good. The doctor's like, what are you doing? Where are you going? I was like, oh, I've just got to go shopping and thatics never came back for the night. And then my doctor grounded me. She's like, you're not llowed out again. I know what you're up to, bitch.

Let me go and do my things.

I know what you're up to. You're like, yeah, I'm being an eighteen year old, That's what I'm up to. I love this because I think that often this, I mean, we've spoken to many people in the past who have been through disabilities and coming into disability from being fully able bodied, and there is this like feeling of insecurity or this feeling of like, how am I going to date again? How am I going to love again? Like and I think there has been many beautiful stories about

It hasn't slowed Alley Down's just fucking in the hospital. I love.

What's us chatting about this peladay with one of my friends. And I don't think it's disability that dops you. I think people that were insecure before it just heightens everything.

Yeah, and you were this confident, vibrant, active person and nothing changed, Like you still do all the things you do. You're still dating, you're still fucking, you're still surfing, you're still traveling the world. Like your personality persona hasn't changed. It's just made it a bit harder.

Well, I mean, do you feel like it's psychologically changed anything for you? I mean, obviously it's changed loads of things for you physically, but from like a psychological perspective. Do you think it's had an impact on your personality at all?

I was a brat before, and I am so much more grateful soon as had my accident. I was best friends with my parents and we had a really great relationship. They passed away. Mom passed away when I was twenty one and dad passed away four years ago. But from eighteen until then we had a really great relationship. So I think it's made me more grateful for things. Yeah, and I don't get angry anymore. I think it's like

What was that time, like, your family obviously looked after you a lot, Sally and both of your parents, and then your mom passed away. Is I think it was only three or four years after the accident, Is that right? Yeah? What was that like to have two out of three of the people that literally looked after you pass away.

I think it was way bigger if I didn't have my accident. Mum was my best friend for the first four years. It was very lonely because I was that sick, being in hospital all the time. All my friends still, the world kept turning, but mums didn't. Hers stopped with me, So it was very lonely after she passed, and I had a sense of guilt after because you could just see their stress that she was under. You could just see as soon as I had my accident, she wasn't the same person and it was a lot for them

I'm so sorry you went through that, Alley. I think, Yeah, I mean when I was listening to your story and I think when you're a mom, my first thought was like, I can't imagine what that would be like as a mum to have to see their child suffering so much and all you want to do is take the pain away. And I'm so sorry that you had to go through

Yeah, I'm very lucky. I have a very good family. Sally and I are inseparable. We can't go a day without seeing each other or talking, so it's brought us closer too.

And do you guys live together now or what you're set up?

I'm going to sound like a freak. I lived in her garage for a bit, try to save money to travel.

Hang on, she know you were in the garage or did you just like wheel in there and park and you're like I'm done?

You like, yeah, try to kick me out. No, I moved across the road and we both decided that was too far away.

Oh that's back into the house.

And Brad keeps saying it's like everybody loves Raymond, and I'm like, it's the best thing ever.

I actually love that and seeing your bond because I try and put myself in that situation and I would have done exactly the same thing as Sale has done. And I love seeing how close you are and how much you both mean to each other.

Just Brad live with you now as well.

Yeah, so let's talk about what life is going to look like now. So you have been told that you possibly have a few years left, which I cannot imagine, but it seems like you've taken that in your stride and you've made some really big life decisions on what you're going to do for the future. What have you decided to do with your remaining time?

I am going to blow all my money, so he sold I have, and I'm going to just travel for the next two to three years. I fought my insurance and got Brad paid as a carer. So now I'll be able to go to any country I want and he'll be able to care for me. So moving to the USA for six months and then down to Mexico

Think I said to you, what's on your bucket list? There's like three hundred things. Yeah, and have you written it all down?

Like, have you written down like an itemized bucket list of the things that you want to do together?

So I have like Morocco, Turkey, Croatia. It's mainly places over experiences like I don't want to go skydiving and stuff like that. I just want to explore the world.

What impact does it have on your relationship with Brad when you are so aware of your own mortality? And I say this because you know, most of us have no idea how much time we have with our partners, whereas you have a much greater understanding of what and how many years you have left. How does that affect the two of you.

He's caused me morbid all the time because I make jokes about it. We talk about youth and asia a lot. I'm usually just joking about it. So he gets really upset. The first six months after my surgeries last year, I couldn't really bring it up without any getting up with sir. But all of this happens because he never saw me go through something so big. So I've only been dating for two to three years and he wasn't that close. You have to be family to really understand the impact

Your priority shift.

Yeah, do you feel like you guys don't fight or argue or sweat the small stuff because of that, because you know you've got this limited time that you're like, why we like, let's not waste our breath.

Yeah, he's like the loveliest person and so supportive. We never fight. We're just happy to be hanging out together.

You spoke about then and said you made jokes about euthanasia, But I did listen to you talk about how your dad actually signed some sort of documentation around euthanasia. Can you talk me through what that was and what that looked like for you.

So around year three, after my accident, my stomach stopped working, so I hir like a nasal tube and they're like we need to remove your whole stomach. And I was so unwell, like to the points like nausey is the worst. I just felt like I had a hangover without the

I can't imagine what that was like for both of you, but even a father, I can't imagine for your dad to say, like to be brave enough to say I love you enough that I will help you sign up to let you go. I can't imagine and you coming to terms with like I'm so tired and done with this that I want to pass away. But I can't imagine what your dad was going through that time, and I also get I can sort of understand Sally's reaction by being really selfish and being like, I don't want to let you go.

Yeah, I think my parents were just as worn down as me by that point. And yeah, now that I have a niece who I love so much, like she's my favorite person in the world. Don't tell Sally, but she'll probably with her. Yeah, I don't know how i'd react if she was that unwell. I could not let her do euthanasia, but then I couldn't let her live like that. It would be the hardest.

Was it Sally's reaction that stopped you from going? Hey, you said you had a date booked. Was it her reaction that made you reconsider?

No. There was this doctor in the port base. It was an odd dude. I went in and I was like, look, I'm going to kill myself. I can't keep being this sick. And he was like, a cost to me will change your life, It will revolutionize your life. And I was like, I'm twenty one, I'm not getting a colost to me. And I went home for a few weeks and this is really disgusting. I started vomiting thown pieces so that happened a lot. Yeah, and remember vomiting that and thinking

Is it because where your spinal cord was crushed, it corresponds to so many different organs? Is that why there's been this like ongoing complication.

So my injury is high. I say it's around my nipple level, but that was my nipple level when I was eighteen, so it's a bit higher than it is now. So it's above all your stomach, and it's also above your autonomic nervous system. So my heart and blood pressure is controlled lower than that level. So if I get constipated, I can have a stroke. So that was one of the things that it was like, you'll have a stroke or you need a cost.

To me, how do you feel about euthanasia? Now? I know you said you had a date when you were younger, but now that you know that there is a time limit and you are going to deteriorate, and you can tell us about some of the things that they did say is going to happen to you. How do you feel about euthanasia? Is it something you will relook at.

Yeah, so, my psych and I talk about it very often. I'm okay with it now. I'm not okay with it right now because I don't feel unwell and I still have energy to do stuff, and I still have arm function. But I know that in the next four or five years it will be a decision that I would have to make, and my family knows what my decision will be, which will be I'm going to do euthanasia before I

How does your sister Sally respond to that conversation now when you talk about it.

Well, she's got to keep me as a vegetable in her house. So hallie, I've made deals with my best friends to try and break in and turn off my life support. But yeah, she doesn't want it to happen, and she'd be fine with it. She sees me stuffer every day. I have really bad chronic pain to the point like it's really debilitating, and she sees that every day. So when it gets that point, should be fine. But yeah, she would like to keep me in her house.

What does it look like for euthanasia? And I asked this because it's such a hot debate and I've heard so many people talk about it. So many countries don't allow voluntary euthanasia and some do. The ones that do have this crazy prerequis it where you've you've got to go through these psych tests and be of like a stable state of mind to do it. Have you looked into that enough now that you know how that would look for you where you'd have to go? Can you do that at home here in Australia?

No, you can't. My type of illness wouldn't allow it. It would only be allowed for terminal cancer. I'm not sure what the laws are in Queensland at the moment, but I know Melbourne passed it for terminal cancer like stage four cancer, so I'd have to do old overseas, and the place where i'd do that would be Belgium. They've got very loose euthanatial laws, so I'm not sure if it's like that now, but when we're looking into it, if you had anxiety or depression, you can get euthanase there.

Which is that is I mean that is crazy to me because I feel like that is something that you can come out of, whereas your condition is different. You've been scientifically medically given a deterioration, Whereas it's pretty crazy to think you can go in and say I don't feel great today.

There was one story I read in a Facebook group about it. This lady her mom passed away and the grief was too bad, so she got euthanized.

I feel like that is why often it is such a hugely debated and controversial conversation, because I think it is such a permanent solution, and if it is a permanent solution to an impermanent state, then that is why I think people feel so so strongly about it. But I think anyone who has seen a family member suffer, anyone who's seen a family member just waiting to pass away, can understand like that that's not a.

Way to proviy it.

It's terrificic.

When I was watching Mum die, the death rattle everything about that, and it just looks so painful, And when they've become unresponsive, I'm like, what's the point of watching them suffer for like a few days a week?

Yeah, And it's also frightening, you know, like you're you're so sad for your family member, but also like it's petrified. Sorry, it's really petrified. I you know, I did the same thing with my grandfather, and you just you're like, what's the point? It doesn't make sense. And I think that that they're the instances that really when the debate and the conversation around euthanasia comes up, that there is an understanding there yea.

In your head, how do you know when the timing is going to be right for something like that? Like what needs to be happening to you and in you for you to decide, because it's also not I mean, fuck Allie, I can't even imagine it, like the preparation that you have to do, like you have to travel over somewhere to do it, and not like you can wake up and say today's the day. I feel like it like this is Yeah, I can't fathom even asking the question. I'm like, how do I even ask you that question?

Yeah.

I think once I get to a point where there's no quality of life, then the decision will be made. But until then, it'll be on the raid and it'll be talked about. So I think the final decision when there's no quality of life, and as you said, you have to travel overseas for it, so it's going to be such a drawn out process where obviously I'd prefer to do it here with all my family and friends

Will be a lot, I'm so sorry.

A lot of my family too.

Yeah, it'll be so much for your family. And I also think that there must be some sort of comfort in the fact that this is a conversation that has been ongoing for a long time, even if that comfort isn't brought to you know Sally or Brad now, but knowing that it's not something that you made a decision lightly on, it's something that you've really been considered about in terms of how you want to live out your life. Als,

Eight? Great Mexican food.

Honestly, there is no better.

Try not to get typhoid or no.

The food in Mexico. You'll realize you've never had proper Mexican. Like the Mexican that we do here is rubbish.

If they make minced packet Mexican, I'll be really upset.

How has that Because you've actually traveled a lot, You've been to a lot of countries. Okay, two questions. What are some things you wish people would know or like? What has traveling been like? Is it just ten times more difficult to do anything? You have to plan so far ahead.

Oh man, this trip that I've been planning. My insurance company has been fighting me so much so just to go overseas. They said they'd cover my medicare and then last week they said they wouldn't. So going to the US, you obviously need good medical insurance, but also booking hotels, like you can't book a wheelchair accessible hotel online, you need to email the hotel bookis don't legally have to keep your room. So I five book a wheelchair accessible

Yeah.

So yeah, it takes like four hours to book one hotel and then the airlines home. A wheelchair gets broken, a lot jet starts paid me out twenty grand, so far from breaking you. And sometimes I'm not even allowed on the plane because you're only allowed two people disabilities on the plane at once, so if they accidentally bought three, you get kicked off.

Is that true?

I did not know that.

Yeah, it's a lot. When I first had accident, I got home and I remember having a full mental breakdown because I realized society wasn't built for me, the world wasn't built for me, and From that point, I realized how hard my life would be, but it's worth it, Like I get a lot of joy and I feel really proud of myself once I planned a really big trip like this and I'm there and everything's going okay. Also, you just need to roll with the punches, like sometimes I can't after a few days because.

Sorry Brad hour.

Yeah, like Brad just carries me in there.

And who pays for Because this is a question I was clocking in and I've worked in the hospital system. I don't even know. When you have had fourteen years of these operations and hundreds of operations, who's paying for them? Do you have to pay for a certain amount or does it government?

So it goes through the oh comprehensive insurance, So in New South Wales, instead of getting conversation, go to the government and then they decide what they'll pay for, so all of it's covered. But I still probably spend ten twenty grands just for medical curve, like I have to pay for AMRI the other day, and as you know, I had like six different places there are aremorrowing in my back. It's just two thousand dollars. So like it's all the little things that are. It's such an We're

Of let its lie. But it's just it's so incredibly unfair and it's so discriminatory in itself that people who are suffering with chronic pain and chronic illness from accidents or from injury, that they are still out of pocket. Because often these are people who are now no longer able to work because of their injuries, and yet they still have to fork out these insane amounts of money to be able to live a life or to have

Yeah, Alie, what is something that you would want to leave people? Like, what's a message right now that you want people to know? It could be an affirmation, a quote you live by, your biggest life lesson that you've learned since going through this, Something that people can sit there right now and will change the way they think that's a.

Big bish they've actually thought about it.

Sally. I was just laughing because Sally always says when people ask her that ten out of ten fun all the time, and I'm like, Okay, that's a good one to live by. No, if you could change something and you're not happy, change it and do the things you enjoy. Like if you're not happy with your job, get a job you enjoy, or study something you really want to study. If you have the opportunity to do so, you should do it. Don't let your own thoughts stop you. Your

Alice, when it comes to disability, what do you think is the biggest misconceptions that people.

Hold that we can't do doggie, that's a wrap that we're depressed. That would be the biggest one. Everyone always thinks I should be depressed all the time, but it's not the case. Sometimes I live a better life than some of my friends. Why do you think that is mental health?

I think, yeah, we cannot understaate, like what a resilient person you are, and how for all the things that you've been through that you can have the incredible mindset that you do have. It's been a privilege to have a chat with you today and for you to share your story. But also, I don't think anyone should have to listen to somebody's challenging story to be able to appreciate the things that they have in their life that are just not so bad. I don't think we should

Yeah, yeah, Allie, when you're off on your adventure, I leave in a week today, probably right now I'll be on my plot. So genuate a motherfuckers?

Is that what you're saying to people? Because you did have a I actually, well, I saw you how to go in away party and you sort of said, like, I realized there are some people I might not ever see again.

I've been cranking a few of my friends, telling them that I got to delete everyone's numbers and I don't want to talk to anyone, and they've been really sad messaging me every day. Be friends, don't worry.

I am so stoked for you, and I just hope you have the best couple of years literally that you can possibly have and enjoy every second. And there's going to be some fucking tumultuous moments, I'm sure, but it sounds like you've got a wondful trip plan. Well, you know, we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet the highs and the lows. Lord, do you want to kick it off with your suck?

I feel like you're throwing it to me because you are still.

I could do it.

I'm yeah, bring it.

Baby, Okay, Okay, Well I've only been back for one day, so my suck can only be with the last day, and my suck will be that just that. I'm super jetlagged. I was up all night. I feel wired. I was like you know, when you're lay there and you're like sleep, sleep, you gotta go up before our sleep sleep. And I was just like, I can't sleep well on the phone to band on friend Sheridan. So my jet LAG's probably worse than it's ever been. There, suck.

I don't relate to this. I'm like a fucking what's the right word?

You wouldn't?

Can you tell me you're telling the story?

I an anomaly. I don't really get jet lagged. I've never experienced like a wide away in somnia jet lag.

You get on a plane, you barely sat down, and you're asleep. I've never seen anything like. It doesn't matter what it is, how it is, what the position is. You could have five dogs and kids next to you and you get on and you pass out.

Yeah, I could be on that plane where there was the fighting dog and I would sleep the whole time. I don't if you haven't seen that article, there was a couple who got sat next to a dog that farted the entire plane ride, and now they want a refund.

I could have slept through that. I could sleep through anything. What's the difference with the dog fighting and humans fighting? Humans always fight on planes. You don't go and get a refund and see the guy next to me farted.

You would ask to move though, wouldn't you?

I did?

I have been sat on a plane with the person in front kept faring anyway? Did I sat in their fart for six hours? Sat breathing in their fart in a little air conditioned tin can? So my wait, did you say to sweet?

I'm sweet? My sweet was just geting home to little Delilah.

Squidlet Burger, who produced a Keisha took care of for the week.

Keisha had it for two weeks, and I still he missed and producer Keisha looks after her like a bloody princess. But I really missed her. So does that mean that when she comes back, she's like, I not you again? Pretty much?

She has a take me back to Keisha's house.

She doesn't know who her mum is. Yeah, we know that Keisha breaks the rules with her. That's why Keisha lets her do whatever she wants. I put these strict rules on and Keisha's like she didn't like it, and I'm like, she's a dot.

Keisha's sitting here looking like she's been victimized. But I did see you walk her without her thinking on at one.

Point all the time. And Keisha takes her swimming every day, so like she loves it. She's like she's on dog vak. She lives her best life. Anyway, that was my sweet Do you know what it is? And when you think about it, Keisha's just the cool auntie. Yeah, she's one hundred percent. I'm the disciplinarian and she's the Keisha's the one that lets to do any.

Keisha's the cool drunk art that everyone wants to hang out with. Okay, my suck for the wig is that Lola. I am usually Lola's favorite, right that kid. She is hardwired to me. I am like her soul and my soul are conjoined. We do everything together. She is going to attached many issues, but y yes, she is as attached and she loves me and we are the same. She's still pretty much hanging out of my womb. That's how attached we are with.

You, Hernia Herniated. No, with my pro labs. She's hanging on to my pro lab still. She's trying to get back in my womb.

So I came home from this trip seven days, first trip away from the kids, like decent trip, especially international trip.

She didn't care.

As soon as I was out of eyesight, she abandoned me for Matt. She was like, oh, that parent's gone, now I need to go to the next one, and attached to them. She's literally hanging off Matt's uterus, waving around off his testicles, trying to get back in there.

I think that's okay. She needs some independence.

That's not independence. She has a new favorite.

No, but that's normal. And you always go through favors with parents, especially girls. Favorite are usually the dad that's like across the board.

I know, and that's why I have held on to being Lola's favorite for so long. And I know because it was always the case, right Like Marley had a transition when she was like two, she became Daddy became the favorite, and Daddy's been the favorite ever since. But Lola and I, I am the favorite. And I got home and even last night when she was in the bar, she's like, no, Daddy, do it, Daddy, do it? Go away, mummy, Daddy do it. She didn't want me to put in a bed nothing. Shouldn't you embrace her?

No, because you don't come back.

It makes me feel really sad. It makes me feel really rejected. I came home and all I wanted. I even bribed them with lollies and toys and stuff, and she still was like, Daddy, open it, Daddy, do it. I was like, you ungrateful little shit. I didn't say that. I was like, come back to me here. I am told me like, Daddy's gone away. You've locked him in the basement.

It's just mummy home now.

Daddy went for a run and I was like, Daddy's left you, He's gone now. He said he doesn't want to be Daddy doesn't love you, Laura too far.

I didn't say that period a. Look, we've spoken about.

This my sweet for the week, though, is I mean I just got back from a week in Bali. That is my sweet for the week. Honestly, sometime that was the rule.

I didn't know we could go from our sweep from the last week. Obviously mine was sex with Ben. Yeah, I would have hoped that that was I thought we was starting just from yesterday. No, it's from the.

Week prior, Like, I don't know, okay, sex Ben, one day of Sweet.

And Delilah, sex with Ben and then coming home to Las not sex with Delilah, sex with Ben Comma space, and also seeing Dalilah grammar, okay, punctuation.

All right, Look, my sweet for the week is I felt really worried about going away and spending so much time without the girls, And like I said earlier, I do feel like I have to justify. You know, it was for work, and it was a work trip and we worked every single day. But that is what my sweet was. It was so amazing to have serious quality time to focus on getting through work for Tony May.

I had a.

Week where I actually felt like I did such a fucking good job at my job for one week, And yeah, sure, I had kind of like almost completely checked out of parenting except for a few crazy ass facetimes. But I think it's really important that as mums and as working mums, we allow ourselves those opportunities to be able to tap back into what's important to us alongside parenting, because I

It was a really amazing What I'm hearing is every month you need to go away from a week to BALI. That's that's the message I'm geting.

Anyway, guys, that is it from us. We will be back on Thursday with our Ask Uncut. If you have any amazing ask Guncut questions, any big, deep, juicy, saucy, ah sexy dilemmas, we will answer them. Also, just a little reminder, it is the podcast Awards coming up and we would love it if you love the podcast to go and jump into the show notes on today's episode, there'll be a link there you can go and vote for Life on Cut in the Listener's Choice award. And

Because we don't ever get nominated for anything. Yeah, and we need to got that cuts so deep. I know that we don't ever get a nomination in our category. Like we try so hard, we just never get You gotta laugh right.

No, because it doesn't matter. It's you know, that's all the bureaucracy and the politics of matters.

The Li's Choice.

Is the only award that fucking matters. And that's why you're like, guys, if you love the pod, go vote. We would love you forever. And also, Britt will give you a puppy. I know you say that every year. People know I don't give them puppies. It's been four years you've said we give puppies out.

Yeah.

And for the people who voted four times, eventually they will receive four puppies. That's gonna be a real handful. Nothing worse than no one's pupping this dog.

But also you can vote from multiple emails, So if you have a university email, if you have an old school hot mail. Have you voted, ge Laura?

Yeah, the more emails you vote from, the more puppies you get.

And that is from us guys. Yeah nah, but I will Laura, that vote could be the decider.

I'll vote now.

And from Tony mate, don't forget to your mum, Doy, Dad, Doe, dog, two friends and shann love because.

We love them.

If we lose by one vote, you're fine. What are you gonna do this podcast with myself? Hey, guys, that's Brett.

Just Keisha's just waiting in the wings.

She's like he no, Britt and Kisha Okay, bye by baby.

Can A the Company A.

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