Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life I Cut. I'm Brittany, I know Laura. This is our US uncut episode, our little quickened, down and dirty where we answer your biggest problems, your deepest secrets, and the things you just really need some help with.
This is my favorite episode. I love it.
It's the one I.
Look forward to all week because I just love giving you my opinion.
Okay, am I right? Britt Britt, You guys might have cluted on Laura has been a bit sick this week. That is actually not Laura. We didn't want to not bring you guys an episode, so I've gone rogue and I've tried. I've thought, what's the next best thing I could possibly to Laura? Buster was unavailable, Marley hasn't been speaking much, so we have got Matt in the studio doing his very first ask Uncut.
Welcome cad I guys, lifers, you know it's weird. For so long, I've been secretly reading through the questions that get submitted to the Facebook group, and I thought to myself, gin know what, I think I'd be pretty damn good at answering some of these questions. And I didn't want to ask Laura, but I secretly infected her with an illness that knocked her down for a week. So there was no other choice but for me to get the call up and can I just say it's good to
be here. I feel comfortable, Laura, you've been replaced.
Well, you know how I feel. I feel a little bit like I'm cheating on Laura.
There you are.
I feel like, okay, even though I just want everyone to know. Laura is in the room. She's watching us like a hawk, trying to make sure we perform. She's making sure we articulate. She's making sure we don't move back from the mic because she has to edit this.
We proposed it in a way that was I was wondering, what is she going to ask? She came into the room. I was sitting down on the couch and Laura is like, look. She actually said, I don't know if you're going to hate this, but I have an idea. And I was thinking, God, hang on.
Did you take this idea as yours? Laura? Did you slippery?
And she was like, how would you feel about doing an episode of Life on cart.
You're like, where do I sign? No?
Oh, you know, I've got my own podcast, The Babble, which hang on that was two minutes.
You got that in there. I love that.
Lauren said, you can say the Babble, but just make sure it's at the very end, and I was like, of course, not a problem, totally fine. The Babble podcast one of the best pop culture podcasts out there. I think you know, if your fix of news and related TV, it's it's at the Bubble podcast on Instagram as well. You're going to give us a follow.
How come you haven't got me on there if it's the best you've been on there?
Sorry, you had a full episode to yourself.
I actually performed really well. Continue.
I'm glad you remember it was that serious.
I had a mind blame. We asked, we are sock to have you here, but guys, Laura, actually we told you, guys, she's been sick. She has been sick is an understatement. She has been deathly. She sent me a photo of herself and I almost sent an ambulance to the house. She sent me a photo in bed horizontal. Her face looks like she's been stung by a bee. No offense, Laura, but you were really really unwell. But can you testify that.
Can I just say I think she looked great. I think she looked beautiful.
He's trying to get late as soon as Laura gets better.
So now it's been I reckon. It has been the week from hell. Laura has just been struck down with like the mother of all viruses. Since Monday last week, she's been super unwell, and it's kind of been this weird rollercoaster where one day she was feeling better and she was like, I think I'm getting over it, and then the next day she was back to being rock bottom.
And then obviously we thought either me or Marley's going to get sick next, and then Marley got sick, and then she got conjunctivitis, and so you know, I'm just this absolute hero I am. I'm the rock of this family. Nothing is going to stop me from making sure that they're looked after, they're well fed. But I'm actually I'm quite fragile. Normally, normally the slightest change in temperature, and I'm like, hell, if.
I'm struck down, is this I'm supposed to start calling you the whole.
I'm quite weak. I'm a fragile I'm a fragile human being brit.
I can testify to that. I also think you fragile, and.
The last few months it's always Laura who is the one helping me, and I'm there in bed, you know, in the fetal position. And to the point where it was on the weekend where she was feeling really really sick, and then she took some antibiotics that were recommended by the GP. She took them, and then maybe an hour later I just heard that she was vomiting in the bathroom, just non stop, vomiting violently ill for half an hour.
It was really really scary, and I called the midwife and I was thinking, Jesus, do we have to go to a hospital? You know, I can just imagine that for the baby. This is you know, a nightmare. So so it was pretty scary for a little while there. But I think now she is getting better, still not well enough to be on the podcast, so I think in the next few days she will be back. So this is this is one time only, so if you're listening, savor every second because I might not be back for a little while.
I reckon you'll come back. But basically, what we've done, guys, the reason we've given you this short ask uncut today is because I don't trust Matt enough to have him on a full hour episode, so he was never going to fill in for the proper Tuesday ZEP. So we did a switcher Roonie. We got him in for some quick answers and Laura, we'll be back later in the
week for the full episode on Thursday. The thing is, guys, we often get questions Laura and I, and we do run them by Matt anyway, because we do want a guy's perspective when we bring them to you. So this is actually brilliant. And some of the questions we picked today, I have purposely picked them because I want more of a male SKU, a male skw Yeah, and you were all I could find. So before we jump in, I just want to tell you a funny story that happened to me today. I went to a cavet this morning
with my sister and in Bondie. Today, Guys, it was really windy, so we're sitting outside doing some work because we're trying to get outside of the house because it was just you know, you get stuck in this damp, dark house and you like, I need some man sitting down doing our work, and there's this really really hot guy at the table behind me in front of me, and I've been lying him off and I'm like, hot, damn, this guy's spicy. He's trying to make some eye contact and stuff, you know.
Anything in return? Or was he playing hard to get I.
Got a few, like some glances up and some like holding the eye contact for a few seconds, you know those ones quick.
Question when you're trying to flirt. Is it just do you just want to lock eyes and give a little smirk or what are you trying to do there?
Yeah? I think the trick is to hold that eye contact for that little bit longer than you normally would if you caught someone's eye, normally you'd catch their iron look away.
It's very creepy.
You want me to show you now? Yeah, I do this ready.
A little breathe out laugh.
So I locked eyes and then I did a smirk and look away laugh. Yeah.
Great, Although hasn't proved very successful, guys, so it wasn't working.
So no, we're just I wasn't actually trying to get him to talk to me. I just clocked him. I was like clock clocked hoty twelve o'clock that was it. I knocked my bag over next to the table and some rubbish flies out, so I get up to run after it, because you don't want to let rubbish go down the street. And the rubbish stopped right next to him at the table.
Perfect right, because then you can lock the eyes.
Perfect except it was my empty tampon box. They got caught in the wind and blew down the road and purposely, like perfectly, landed next to his table. I was like, you are fucking kidding me. So I was like, pick that one ten box and I was like, that's it. I'm we may as well get divorced, like it's never going to go anywhere.
What did he say?
Nothing? He just got awkward and got flushed, and I was like, yep, I bleed out on my vagianta. That's what happens like every like every other I didn't say that, guys, that was my internal monologue. Scurried back to my table and that was it. Packed up, went home.
Wow, So would you.
With that? What would you think if that happened? Would that be like a little like or not that it should be a turn off? Guys? Obviously it's not, but it's pretty funny. That my tampon box. And you know what, it's obvious that the tampon box had been in there for a little bit because it was a bit crumbled. It wasn't even a cute so.
It was a fresh one. It was an old tampon box. I reckon, I'd probably have a laugh and be like heavy flow, huh hey.
You know what would have been better if he picked up the tampon box, wrote his number on and game of bat.
Oh boom, opportunity lost.
Anyway, that's the most eventful thing that has happened to me. Okay, I'm going to jump into the questions and I'm going to go straight to the one that I think comes in most often from you guys, and it's on ghosting, Matt, Why do guys ghost? I felt like we had a few really great dates. It felt like we got along and it was going somewhere, and then all of a sudden, I just never hear from him again. Why the fuck do guys do this? And she yelled that she was angry,
Why the fuck do guys do this? And do you want message for closure? And to ask why or do I accept that they've ghosted me?
Look, it's a good question, and I think there are many different ways to look at this. But when you boil it down and you look at men as a whole, and obviously I'm very conscious here not to generalize, but at the same time, guys are cowards really amen when you look at it, we're also just very pathetic.
I think as well, I'm so glad you're saying this and not me.
Bless us, bless our cotton socks. We don't want to hurt people's feelings. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, right, which is okay for the most part, except sometimes you really do just need to be honest, and sometimes you need to deliver bad news to people even though you know it's going to hurt their feelings. But guys are just we're also very lazy.
As well, So you think men just can't be fucked.
Yeah, yeah, when it comes down to it, I reckon that these days, ghosting happens more because because of the dating apps like Tender, like Bumbull, plenty of Fish, et cetera, et cetera. I think it's so easy now that if you have someone who you maybe don't have a great relationship with, or maybe you know it's a little bit
harder to try and get that spark. You can just pick your phone up and find someone new, and it's so easy just to like discard that current person who you've seen for a week or two, throw them to the side, and just move on.
Yeah. I think it's a little bit of a mix. I mean everyone's ghosted everyone. I don't do it anymore. I'm always upfront and I'll always just say hey, didn't feel it. But I had a conversation with my friend yesterday which was very similar to this. She is online dating and she I was asking her straight up and I'm like, okay, so how's it going. She's like, all duds, all duds. And I said, okay, so how do you do you find that awkward when they want to see
you again and you don't. And she's like, well, not really. And I was like, well, what do you say to them?
She's oh, I just don't oh, and she ghosts.
She ghosted them. And I said to her, you can't do that. She's like, I don't want it. She's like it's too hard. I don't know them, it's only been one or two dates. And I'm like, yeah, but imagine if that was you and they just weren't running back to you exactly.
You need to think of it from both sides. You treat people how you like to be treated. And I think it's hard because if you haven't had sex with the person, do you even offer someone an explanation or you know, do you does it seem at a place if you step up and say, hey, look, Britt, I'm really sorry. I'm just not feeling things at the moment, and you're like, hey, buddy, relaxed, it's been two dates.
No, I see. This is the other question. Do you have to have had sex or like some form of intimacy for it to validate an answer as to why they don't want to see you anymore? Well, I don't. I don't agree with that. I go on first dates and if they write to me and say they want to see me again, I will always write back and say the true You.
Have been ghosting guys in the past, though, years and years and years ago. Yeah, and you stopped. You're a non ghoster.
I have been sober from ghosting for probably four or five years now.
Wow. Yeah, that's a long time.
I just never felt better.
Well, I think it comes with the maturity though as well, right now that you're a bit older.
Thanks man.
And you also you know what it feels like to be ghosted you now, I don't want to inflict that same pain on somebody else, because there's nothing more annoying when you're in a position and you think you've had a really good date, Like you walk away from that date going hey, I think I've really found someone special here, and then you message them, and you back and forth and you try and set up a date, and then it just all of a sudden fades out, and then
you're there racking your brain going like, is it just me? They are they okay? Maybe maybe they missed the message? Do I message again? So people really need to have that closure.
I think the best thing to do is just be honest. But the second part of her question is here, She's like, Okay, so fuck, he's ghosted me. But do I message and follow up? Do I ask why? Do I try and get an answer? Do I pretend like I don't know he's ghosted me and be like, hey, just checking in, like that message might not have gone through.
I think as much as you would like some closure, because obviously that's going to allow you to move on and get over it. I do think it's just going to boil down to the the just there was nothing there. If he's ghosting you, he's that kind of person where he's not going to be really honest. He's going to avoid confrontation. So if you then reach out to him and say, hey, obviously it's not working out, can you please give me some reason for why it didn't work out,
He's not gonna answer that in an honest way. I don't think he's just going to give you some fluff to try and just, you know, not offend you and let you down lightly.
I agree ultimately, guys, it means that they're not interested. Whether it's the girl ghosting or the guy, they're not interested and they're not respectful enough to give you an answer. So I would never if someone ghost me, I will never chase it, never follow it up, and I will never write something angry like fuck you ghost to me, because it's a real What are you going to get from that? That's what you've got to think. What are
you going to get from that? Even if they say to you, imagine if they were Imagine if he's what went wrong and they were really honest. They write back and say, I didn't like the way you spoke about this, I didn't like what you wore, I didn't like your hobbies. You were like, you're not going to go and change yourself, So why fucking no, Why have someone put you down like that?
Yeah, one hundred percent, britt. And you know, it's funny. There's been so many cases where I've had mates of mine who have been ghosted before and they had the exact same question of hey, should you know I messaged her twice. Now I get the follow up message she didn't write back. Should I ask you know? What went wrong? I think it's interesting that both guys and girls get ghosted, you know, very often. It's so easy to think that it's just a male thing, but it's both parties.
No again. And I had a conversation with a girlfriend. I was like, you can't do that anymore and I want you to try and be better, and she's like, I'm going to do it. She's like, I will from now on. Just say and this is my message, guys, this is what I say. Hey, I had a really great time with you too. To be honest, I just don't feel like there was anything more there, happy to be friends with you.
Though perfect perfect, there are many signs that you become an adult when you get a mortgage, when you buy a car, and when you stop ghosting. Yeah, that's when you become an adult.
Well, the next question, Matt is still on the ghosting train, but it's as a guy. And that's because what my friend was saying, She's like, I don't know what to say to let them down?
Is it?
She said? Do guys actually want to hear the truth? Or would a guy rather be ghosted? Because for women, we don't want to be ghosted. I would rather the truth, But is it the same for a guy, And what would you want to hear? What is the best response, Because all these girls out there, they get very awkward about how to let someone down. Because women don't want to hurt people's feelings, especially if the date's been great. They don't know what to say, so that's why they say nothing.
I'm sure that everybody out there, both guys and girls, would rather have the other person be really honest as opposed to being ghosted, because it just it just means you can move on quicker and not still get hung up on that person. What could have been. I think in terms of being honest, as cliche as it is, I think just the answer of you know, I just
didn't see it. There wasn't a spark there, because, like you said, you don't want to be really honest and be specific towards someone's personality or say I kind of thought you were a bit arrogant, really, because that's not going to do anything that's going to benefit that person. It's just going to make them feel more shit about themselves.
If you go on two days and then you say, let's catch up again and the woman says to you, look, I've had a really great time in you, but I don't feel anything. They're happy to be friends though. It's not going to hurt your feelings, is it totally?
Totally? Yeah, you're going to get a bruisee to ego, but then you'll move on so much quicker.
Yeah, okay, so there you go, guys. That's it. Just be honest. Next question, are you ready?
Is this question two or three?
Well, that was like a mix that was like two one point five because I mixed, I blended two into one.
Is just quick, quicker, little time out. This is you're happy with? This is this. You're missing Laura.
Oh I thought you were actually asking me off. Yeah, but you're actually asking me. I am missing Laura, except she's in my line of view, so I can see her right now. This is fun, It's something different. I'm enjoying it.
I'm having a good time.
This is great you just compared to yours.
We should do this again.
Oh, look at that. He's really trying to sell himself. Guys, we might put a poll out and see if we want Matt.
Ba't please don't. If you don't enjoy it, just ghost me. Don't give you the feedback.
You just literally said. OK.
When it comes to podcast, ghosting is a way to go all right.
Next question, So I seem to have this problem where guys only see me as good mates good friends. I have always been the type of person who has naturally gotten along better with guys because I'm really down to earth and I cannot deal with bitchy girls. But that has seemed to follow me into the dating world. When I go on dates with guys and we see each other for a couple of weeks, it just turns into
a really great friendship and nothing more. And I'm still great friends with all the guys that I have kind of dated. My only long term relationship was with my best friend, but the whole time we we never had sex because we were super closed, but not on a relationship level. Is there something I'm doing wrong when it comes to dating, because guys either only want to be fuck buddies, friends with benefits, or just friends. Help. Wow, Wow, so she's just constantly friend zoned? What's she doing?
Do you think, Oh, that's a tricky one. That's a tricky one. And I've had I've had friends who have come to me with a similar situation, and I think of it as you are such a rare breed.
Thank you.
The question the question from the listener, because I think the dream is to find someone who you're best friends with, right, someone who you have similar interests. Guys really want that, they want someone who is going to be their best mates, someone who they can have a relationship with that's more than just a sexual connection.
But do you think the problem is and I totally agree with that. I think you want to marry your best friend and you want to be with your best friend, But do you think that that best friend should come down the track? Is this? Do you think that she's jumping into that too quickly, so they don't these guys aren't seeing the romance develop and that maybe that best friend part comes down the track. Because I also have friends that are like this. I've got a few friends
that are constantly friend zoned. I'm actually friend zoned a lot too. Hurt my heart.
But you call yourself a bit of a tomboy, don't you.
No, I grew up as a tomboy one hundred percent. All my friends were guys. Every weekend was with a boy surfing question.
If you meet someone who you're really vibing with, would you ever tone down those tomboy elements in your personality? Try and seem a bit more girly so you're not just seen as a mate.
When I'm on a date, I'm very girly. I wear girly things. I'm just myself, but I'm probably a slightly watered down version of myself because we all know exactly what I'm like. Tring them in slowly, I don't let the laugh out Day one like that's the day two. Okay. I have two opinions here. I am of the opinion that you can have this beautiful friendship with someone for a long time and then realize that, oh my god, you're my human and I never knew it because all
of a sudden you know each other inside out. And I think that that is wonderful. But I think that there can be an element sometimes when you go on a first date or a second date, if you jump in too soon and I think you're too much, you can definitely give off too many friend vibes straight up.
Like if you're grabbing him in a headlock and giving him you know.
If you're at the club with the boys and you're having your boys jokes and you're drinking your beers and you're talking about the football. All these things are fine, And I just want you to be hyper aware that all of a sudden, the guy's like, this is what I'm in He's thinking this is what I do with my friends every weekend, and now I'm doing this here with you, and he might subconsciously be like, cool, she's gonna be cool to hang out with us, and they
lose that romantic touch. I think you've got to sort of build to that sometimes. And I don't mean hide who you are. I just mean let there be that This is different to the boys. This is beautiful women. I'm on a really nice dinner date with like what guys go out and have romantic dinner dates with it each other? You know, they go to the pub and they drink.
Me and my mates would go out for like a beautiful love to dinner, candle live, beautiful view of the harbor.
I actually I actually get one. But do you know what I'm saying. I think you can jump in too quickly sometimes to be one of the boys.
Initially, when you started saying that, I was like, what, I disagree, brit because I think, you know, you should just be yourself. You know, there's nothing wrong with you. Shouldn't you shouldn't have to water down your personality to try and make yourself seem more appealing to the other person. I do think you need to have some separation between being someone who's going to be categorized as a friend versus being someone who you're going to form a romantic
connection with. And I think you know, like, especially in the early stages of dating someone, you know, you do want to be a bit more flirty as opposed to being more more matey. And I think, especially you know, when other person's trying to figure out like, what is this? Is there a spark? There is there not for that spark to develop quicker? I think, yeah, you may, maybe you do have to be more flirty.
There is also the chance, guys, just got to throw this out there, that you just haven't met the one yet and that's why you're not in a relationship. Same reason I've been single so long. Well, I think it's the reason I've been single for so long because I just haven't met my person yet. And that is why I agree.
And I think it's credit to this girl who's put the question in that she's obviously an absolute legend, and normally when you don't have a spark with someone and you've gone on a date, you would just move on and not see that person again. Because she's such a legend, They're like, hey, let's well, you know, we don't have a romantic connection, but let's be friends.
Also, just so you guys know, because I think there'll be a lot of people that listen to this, being like, I feel the same thing. That's exactly me. I feel that incomplete transparency, Matt, how many times have I come over here to you and Laura and been really down and said what's wrong with me?
Twice a day for the last three months.
But really, sometimes you get so defeated because you do get in that mindset where you're like, Wow, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Something's wrong with me? Because everyone wants to be my friend. Everyone says I'm great, but no one wants to actually have this relationship. But and you're you guys are always saying to me, you know, it's not that there's nothing wrong with you, it's just that you haven't met the one so and you should
never change for anyone. I don't want this girl to be like, oh, well I need to hide who I am for six months in a relationship. That's absolutely not Whatwa's saying. And no one should ever do that.
Yeah, exactly. You know, I think about Laura and my relationship, and in the early days, you know, we were definitely ourselves in front of each other, but you know, there were certain things that we didn't do because we were really trying to impress the other person. Like if Laura farted back in the day as much as she did now, I don't think we would have ended up together.
And like Laura wasn't letting it rip day one was she.
She definitely didn't, and thank goodness that she held back.
All Right, that's enough.
It's like a champion bridge, it really does.
I know that. But I wouldn't throw on ato the buse like you.
Do every every day.
It's all right, let's go on to the big question. Hey, ladies, slash Matt, I would really appreciate your advice.
How did that person know that I was going to fill in? I'm just improving my sorry, continue continue break good, good improv I'm.
Good on my toes. So I've been with my boyfriend for eight months now, and we have a beautiful relationship. He's caring, loving, and emotionally mature. Well that is rare. However, I've recently been getting the feeling that he and my housemates slash friend are kind of into each other. It's great that they get along so well, but I've been noticing a bit of a flirty vibe, for example, lots of eye contact, my housemate getting close to him, or
feeling like they're trying to impress each other. Now, I don't know if I'm just reading into things and they're just friends. My boyfriend has said on multiple occasions that he loves that they're all real friends now, but it's been making me feel quite uncomfortable. Do you think my insecurities are getting the better of me and I'm just overthinking this? Or is there actually something more there that I should be worried about? Do I bring it up with him or her? Please help?
It's hard to answer this one without knowing exactly what is happening, you know, if I would love to know if it is just a cheeky little eye and like a little shoulder tap here and there, or if it's something a little bit more sinister. But I'm gonna I'll interpret this one and think it's exactly as she stated in her question. I think she is being a little bit insecure here. I think she is letting it get
the better of her. And I think what she's got is something that's quite rare, And I think it is really hard to find someone a partner who gets along with your friends really well, and that's what she's got. Like this is she's got what so many people want and the fact that they can all get get along together.
She should really try and embrace that. Although I think if it is giving her issues at the moment, she does need to raise that because what you don't want to have happen is that frustration with the potential flirting with her housemate that could so easily eat away at her inside. And if something else happens outside of flirting, like let's say he's done something wrong, it will be so easy for that frustration to then be vented through other things, and then he'll be going, well, why is
she so annoyed? And I did such a tiny little thing wrong and all of a sudden, she's blowing it way out of proportion. He doesn't realize that behind the scenes, there's this internal frustration insecurity that's been eating away at her. So I think I think the most important thing here is is making sure that you have strong communication with
your partner. So I think she does need to sit down and talk to him and not do it in a way where she's blaming him and putting it on him, because because really maybe he's not doing anything wrong, So she can't do it in a way which is attacking towards her partner. Otherwise he's just gonna arc up and it'll turn into a huge argument. I think she needs to be honest and say, hey, sometimes I'm feeling a little bit insecure about how you're acting with you know
so and so. So by having that conversation with him, by bringing it out into the open, she's really allowing him to put her mind at ease.
I have a few feels here again, Like Matt said, it's really hard for us to give really honest advice when we don't know the extent of the flirting and the situation. And she said they get close. What is close? Is she massaging his neck? Is she touching him and she's talking?
Is massaging of the neck? Is that wrong?
Well?
I mean, yeah, it is.
It is wrong, That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, now you are holding back. I was like, no, come on, and your partner's massaging your No, that's.
What I was trying to picture me, massage in your neck. And I'm like, yes, that's wrong. I was like, you just wouldn't do it. So what's the closeness? Is it like a hit on the shoulder when you've made a funny joke or you're laughing at him. Is it like that they just sitting next to each other and the couch too closed, or are they touching and massaging each other's neck like what is closeness and otherwise the only other thing you've really said is eye contact. I hope they're having eye contact.
Surely right because they're getting along, they're friends. Eye contact doesn't justify either one of them pushing past that line of that, you know, the boundary of friendship.
What more would you want than your friends to get along with your partner. It's like everybody's dream. No one wants their friends to hate their partner and their partner to hate their friends, and there's always an awkwardness. So first up, it sounds like you've got a pretty good situation. Secondly, you've been with him for eight months now. I hope by this point you're at a point where you either trust him or you don't. That's what I would like to think. I would be out after eight months of
a relationship. I'd like to know that I'm comfortable in my relationship, that I trust my partner. So that's a little bit of like a red flag for me, the fact that you're unsure. Another point is this is your friend and your housemate. I feel like you two should have a relationship where you know that you can trust your friend. Like seep down, you really think that your
friend and your partner have something going on. That's one hundred percent of flag that you need to sit down and have a conversation, because if you are feeling like that, even if they're not doing something wrong, there's something that needs to be spoken about because there's an insecurity and an unsettling feeling festering within you, and if you let that fester, like you said, Matt, you're going to implode. Everything that wouldn't have normally been an issue is going
to become an issue. So I think probably nothing is going on. I think you're just at a point where you're still a little bit nervous about the relationship and maybe not completely comfortable with him yet. So sit down and have the conversation, and also don't accuse him of anything. Be like, babe, tell me I'm crazy, But do you ever feel like, I don't know, is Sarah flirting with you sometimes? Or am I not you? You could say it like that and he's going to be like, babe, ye, don't.
Be ridiculous, there's nothing there.
Yeah.
And then, because what you want to avoid is it worst case scenario here would be having a fight with your housemate and making your environment at home, be one that you don't want to live in anymore, or then you know, potentially having an argument with your boyfriend and pushing him away. You know you don't want it to be awkward for him to come to your place, because I think you really need to jump on this really quickly before it grows into being an thing more severe.
The other thing is, well, I think this happens to me a lot too, because obviously, as I'm single, all of my friends are in relationships. A lot of them are married, engaged kids. I find myself often in these weird friendships. So it's not that I'm not I don't mean it's weird, but all my friends are couples now. None none of those friends would ever ever question whether something was going on with me and their partner. I hang out with you guys all the time. I would
text Matt like I text Matt today about today. I don't tell Laura, I don't message Laura and say I'm just text Matt about this. So we can have a relationship like that, because as friendship is, trust ultimately comes down to trust. We all trust each other. Everyone in my life trusts each other. Otherwise there's no point the friendship's not going to happen. The relationship is not going to happen. It's going to be disaster totally.
So at the end of the day, the person who submitted this question, they really need to figure out if this this thought, this fear that she's having at the moment with her partner and housemate, is that coming from a deep sea insecurity that's maybe coming from a previous relationship, or is her partner or housemate actually doing the wrong thing? And by the sounds of it, I don't think either one of them has crossed the line.
Radio Matt, We're going to throw in one extra question just because we've got you as such a special guess and we really want to utilize your wisdom.
What are we talking about? How to get.
Abs or flattery? Agats you everywhere? Doesn't it? No? Not how to get at you don't have any ads.
I used to have abs before I was a dad.
Heykay, I have a dilemma for ask guncut Radio Guys. I've been with my boyfriend for a year before we became official. We were fuck buddies for about six months. We got into the relationship mainly because it just seems like the next thing to do, even though neither of us really wanted it. He is the best guy and I absolutely adore him. However, I go through these periods where I doubt if I want to be in a relationship, as I'm only twenty years old and we kind of
have always just been in a relationship. I have this restless feeling like I want to be by myself. My question is is this a situation of the grass is greener? Or is this doubting a sign that he's just not for me? Oh? Ps. We broke up for six weeks mid year. We got back together because I asked him over when I was drunk, and we've been back to normal ever since.
Please out the old drunk text. Come over. It'll get you.
It does get your gets everyone.
Look how old is she she is?
She's only twenty, she's twenty.
She's very young, Yes, very But I think when you're young you sometimes don't appreciate how good you have it. Like I think, I think back to twenty year old Matt, and I was an idiot. But it's an idiot. I had no idea what was going on.
Yes, but I don't know who you were with when you were twenty. Maybe you had a good but imagine if you were still with them now.
When I was younger, I knew that I wasn't in love. But it sounds like she's got this guy who they get along with really well. She adores him. He's amazing, he's a great guy. So I think there is a tendency when you're young to want to always try and find someone better the grass is greener, Like I think everyone's trying to find that perfect partner when I don't think they exist.
All right, I controversially, I'm going to disagree with you, not disagree with you, but I'm coming in with a different opinion. I agree with you, Dad.
You could argue that having a different opinion is disagreeing.
No, because I agree with what you're saying to a sense I do because I remember being like that. I remember I was in a relationship for eight years from sixteen. I remember hitting that age and having those feelings. Is this it is this me the rest of my life? Am I really never going to experience anyone else, any other flirting, dating, one night stands? Am I just going to be with this person? And he was amazing? But
I had those feelings. I did stay for a few more years because I buried those feelings and thought, no, I do have a great partner. I do adore him. I will never find someone that loves me as much, so I stayed. The thing is, you are only twenty. You haven't probably had another serious relationship, and I don't think within one year. So I had those thoughts after four to five years. I don't think after one year
you should be having these doubts about your partner. I think that's still like a honeymoon phase, especially when you're young. I think you should be obsessed with your partner and you still want to spend all your time with them. They broke up after six months. They only got back together because she booty called him. I reckon, if you are actually having all these doubts, I think you probably
need to go and explore them. This isn't you having doubts when you're thirty five, married with kids and you're like, eh, this is like you're twenty years old. You've broken up with him already. My advice would be, don't rush out and end it, but really you need to sit within yourself. You don't need to have the conversation with him yet. You need to sit in yourself and say, why am I having these doubts?
What is it?
Is it because I just want to have sex with someone else, or is it because he and I fight all the time? What is the reason that's pushing you in that direction?
Okay, totally, because I think when she talks about saying she wants to just be by herself, you know, is that her saying that, well, I really just want to know see other guys or is it a case of I really want to go traveling and I can't go traveling because I've got my partner. He doesn't want to travel, so he's really holding me back from doing the things that I really want to do. I think sometimes when you're younger, you do see a relationship as being you know, almost like the shackles.
You know.
It's like I think growing up in BONDI I remember summer, everybody would be like, well, you don't want a relationship for summer, because you know, that's when you want to that's when you want to have fun.
The girls are like, oh, I'm so glad I get to have a summer love. Guys are like, don't be relationship because I want to fuck around.
And then it comes to winter and everyone's like, well, got to find a partner now exactly shack up for winter. Look, I think it totally depends on what her motivation is for wanting to be single. Is it because she just wants to be free and footloose, or is it because he's really holding it back from doing things that are going to allow her to grow as a person.
Yeah, one hundred percent. All I can really suggest you're doing this is figure out the reason on your own. Is it because you actually just want to go and date and experience other people, or is it because you just fight NonStop? He annoys you all day, You don't agree with anything he says, and you're together just because it felt like what you should do because you did
say that. You did say, ah, it felt like the next thing we should do, Which is which brings me to a point that I feel very passionate about society putting this on this path of oh, this is what I should do next. Society says, we've been seeing each other six months, now, we better be in a relationship. We've been together for four years now, we better get engaged.
And I think this is actually, ironically a really good time in because this is the episode that Laura and I are going to be talking about this week, and that is society's pressures timelines why we feel the need to do things a certain way because society says we need to own the house by thirty, and society says we need to be married, we need to be in this relationship, we need to have a baby after we
get married. So I think that this girl's in this place of feeling like, oh, well, I've been within six months. I better just go and get on with this timeline.
I can. I ask you a question. When you were younger, did you think that you were sometimes in love and then in hindsight, you look back and you realize that you weren't actually in love.
Oh my god, absolutely all the time. But you don't know that until you experienced another relationship, and then you're like, this is how it should be. This is love, this is how I should be treated. I think all these things come with experience. It's like anything in life. How do you know unless you've got anything to compare it to.
It's like when I fell in love with Laura, I then thought to myself, all this this is what love is. This is what I've been searching for for so long.
Bless your soul.
If only I had met Laura when I was a younger.
Guy, if you've met when you were younger, one hundred pcent, you wouldn't be together now. You would have fucked it and you had been too nice. Laura liked bad guys with red.
I would have been too sweet, innocent and fragile to be You.
Would have fucked your over in summer. Anyway, you just admitted.
That we offer. Laura and I often often asked the question to each other, like, would we have fallen in love if we met each other when we were in our early twenties.
Well, Laura always tells me no, She goes await Matt, and I never would have worked it by man in before the bag. What does she tell you?
Oh my gosh, not as blunt as that.
Well, guys, that's it. Thanks so much for coming in and feeling in for Laura. How do you feel that when I.
Don't want to sound arrogant, but I think that was perfect. I think, you know, I think Laura's Laura's a strong nine maybe on a good day, nine out of a half out of ten. And you know I think, and I'm sure I'm not alone here that that was a ten out of ten effort.
Guys.
I hope you was it as good for you as it was for me.
I can't tell you that while Laura's here.
What one wing for yes, two wings for no? Oh?
Yeah? I enjoyed.
It was good fun. Thank you everyone for letting me join you for one episode.
Dr Matt.
Laura will be back. It's only for one episode, so don't panic. Also, can I can I just say if you were a fan, maybe leave a review maybe in the Facebook group pash my ego?
Are you talking about Live on cutz Facebook group?
Or hang on? That's what I thought, Laura said. Laura said, I can give another plug in here, but I'm not gonna take it. It's, you know, the fact that I do another podcast called The babbyl You know, I could promote it, but I'm not going to be that desperate. You know, guys, every Thursday, every Monday, Britt. You can listen to it if.
You want, Guys.
It's a great pop culture book cut podcast interviews with some really amazing guests.
Guys, if you did love that and you do feel like you want to give man a listen. He does have his podcast The Babble. Here you go, mad, there's your plus. I have been on it. Go listen to that episode I did. I forgot for a minute I had done it.
Can I just say that was our best rating episode ever, Britt.
Guys, thank you so much for listening. Don't forget. We've got our Facebook discussion group. There are so many good chats going on in there, so jump on in and you can ask any questions you want in there. There's absolutely no way we can get to all of your questions on here. We do read them all physically, we cannot answer them, so if you don't want to be anonymous, throw them in the group. Everyone is so amazing at supporting and giving their answers, and there are some guys
on there that give their opinions too. Matt, you need to give your opinion more.
Oh, I will be there. I promise I'll stop being anonymous and just reading them and not writing anything. I will now respond to those questions in the Facebook group.
Okay, great, and guys, please, if you like this hit five stars, subscribe and tell your mom, tell your dog, tell your friends so you can't tell everyone, and share the love because you love love. No, Matt, we practice it. Share the love because we love love all right, mean me, no go ba.