Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life One Cut.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and we are mixing it up this week.
This is Tuesday, but we are bringing you our Thursday episode of Ask Uncut.
Now, we do have a good reason.
It's a little bit confusing.
I know, I know, but you know, at work has just been very, very all consuming in.
The last couple of days.
I have a lot happening with Tony Bay and then it's also been Father's Day, and our Tuesday episode is the episode that requires a lot more research and preparation, and so we decided that instead of just slapping something together half asked and half.
Bay, because we are not about that I'm.
Gonna slap guys.
We wouldn't do that to you, which bullhole all the time. So we're just gonna mix things out. We're going to do our Thursday's episode today, which is our Asking Cut episode.
Answer your deep, dark and dirty questions.
A la la la la, yeh, there she is.
There's that's been It's been a little while.
It's been a little while since I've done that sound, and I didn't want you to think it's completely gone away.
I'm not opposed to it going away.
Well, there's going to be someone out there who likes it. Maybe one person we don't know.
But yeah, So Thursday's episode, we're going to be talking just to give you a little taste test so you know what's coming. We're going to be talking about dating someone who has narcissistic personality disorder, which if you've ever dated.
Someone you will know it's great, real fun.
That's a lie. It's not.
It's like burning and the floor is lava and everything's on fire and you're dying. But before we get.
Into that, how was Father's Day?
Oh? Well, it didn't get mad at present, but I did it. But I did a lot of acts of service, right mate.
Let's slow down. We're only two minutes in. Again, that might be a new record.
And we had sex, but that wasn't the acts service that I was talking about. I like cook, I cleaned.
I you should stop the list there.
I just did. I took care of Marley's that he could go to the gym.
And I think it's really interesting because I think when it's Mother's Day, if you ask any mum what they want for Mother's Day, they'll say, I just want some time to myself. I want to go for a massage, or I want to go away from you and the kids and everyone, and I want to spend some time to myself. If you ask father's what they want for Father's Day, they're like, I just want to spend time with my family.
Oh that's cute, though, but that's because the mom spends the majority of the time anyway. So it's just like, please give me some peace and quiet. You always want what you don't have on the rag, right, Oh my god.
Absolutely.
So we had a really cute morning together. We did breakfast, Matt went to the gym, I cleaned, and I cooked, and I cleaned some more, and I got my real housewife on and then we had a in the afternoon and it was cute.
We just had a real aussy Father's Day. And you went to Port Macquarie. Yeah. Look I saw in the truck, went up the coast, saw big tones. He was doing really well. Shout out. No.
Dad is our biggest fan.
Anyone that listens to this knows that he, or anyone on the Instagram page. Dad's very He's very proactive there way even their life uncut flag. We've got plenty of time for it, but he had his own accidentally unfiltered, so I'm I'm gonna tell you, and he was like super excited to tell me too, because he's like, a why he's like an accidentally unfiltered So basically, he went to get his hair cut. Okay, he just went to get a trim. He went in there and it was
a lady sitting down. There was only one person, so she was already cutting Sal's hair. So she turns around and she's like, hey, look it's gonna be a little while.
Why don't you crawl across.
To the pub and have a drink or something or come back. Like anyone that knows my dad knows, he's not really a pub person, like he would run. He would probably go for a half hour run then go to the pub. But she's like, go have a across the pub, have a drink, come back, and I'll do your hair then. And there was a lady standing next to him who was the mother of the girl getting a haircut.
Dad recognizes are as this woman.
From a coffee shop. So she's like, go and have a beer. And the woman next to Dad is like, oh, doesn't sound like a bad idea, and Dad's like, well, come on over to the like, come on over and I'll buy you a drink while we wait, and she's like, all right, fuck it, let's go have a drink at the pub. So Dad and his in inverted brackets Comma's friend went across to the pub for a beer.
Dad bought her a drink. They're having a yard and Dad's like, how's are the pups the dogs?
And the lady hesitated for a second and she's like, I mean, yeah, they're.
Good, They're fine.
And Dad's like that's good, good, and he's like he's like it was a bit of a weird answer, like she was a bit stand offish. And then he's like, what about the coffee shop? Because this woman that dad was weir it owns a coffee shop. What about the coffee shop? How's coffee shop? Have you been going in COVID and everything? And the lady was like, oh, I mean yeah, a bit quite for a little while, but we're doing okay.
And Dad was like she was really weird, Like she just real standoffish.
I feel like I know where this is going. I already feels so uncomfortable for your dad.
So they had this like they had this whole date. My dad's been married forty two years and he went on a date here to know. So they go back to the hairdresser and they end up getting a haircut and he says he's goodbyes. The next day, he goes to the coffee shop, because he's a regularly coffee shop.
He goes to the coffee shop.
He looked at the lady behind the counter that he thought he bought a drink the night before, and he's like, holy shit, who the hell.
Did I take on a date last night?
Because this is not you.
I'm not the lady that I was bought a drink for last night. Dad like, Dad's at a loss. He goes home to Nikki, my mom. He's like, Nick, I'd be honest, I've accidentally gone on a date a month.
Thought was hilarious. But then it gets worse. Did he like you're his number or something?
No, So it turns out a few days later, Dane, who's my brother. This is so convoluted and this is Port McQuary for you. The lady has said to Dane, this the lady that Dad did take on a day He's like, look, I saw you walk past the other day with your dad, and I'm pretty sure he took me on a date thinking it was someone else and was like this big convoluted story. Came back, got back to dad. Dad went back to do and he's like, look,
I'm so sorry that that happened. Like I thought you were someone else, and I thought you were a friend and I'm married for four jers, was all.
This big fuck up. Wow.
Anyway, welcome to Port mcray. It's a small, insular little town. Four dad first date he's been on in like forty five years, and he didn't even know he was on one.
Even he's out there picking up people. He's looking at for that I'm picking up.
Well. Coming off the back of your actually unfiltered stories, I figured we should just instead of going completely rogue on this episode and it all feeling very unfamiliar territory to you, I thought I would read you out and accidentally unfiltered the story they.
Came in just before because it gave me a good giggle. So you know that this is our favorite part of the episode. So I was like, I'll throw one in for you, okay, go okay. So me and my partner are relatively new into our relationship and exploring in the bedroom if you're catching what I'm throwing anyway, So a bit of butt stuff never hurt anybody, right, No.
And I'd probably have that statement is incorrect. I think a few people don't enjoy the but stuff, but some people do. You know, different strokes for different folks.
So I'm sure you're getting where I'm going and putting two and two together. So yes, we get to the end of the session as such, we're like, wait, where is the vibrator. I can hear it buzzing away. Oh my god, please tell me it's under the bed.
It's nowhere to be seen.
It's at this point that we both realize that the vibrator is stuck in my butt.
It was horrified and immediately started freaking out.
I ran into the bathroom through fits of tears, and had to poop out the tiny vibrator. My partner then weirdly reassures me by saying, don't worry, babe, the exact same thing happened to me in the past.
Ah ye, good need too. Good thing. Good news is the vibrator was retrieved. It's safe and sound.
The thing that I'm most concerned about is the fact that this isn't like a new vibrator that the two of you have bought together to use.
This is something that he's had before and has been stuck in his own butt and didn't feel the need to tell you that.
I'm more concerned. We have a few concerns. I love that you guys are going for it. Love that in my industry, I see a lot of things up people's butts. It's my job. I have to find them, like we do the imaging. We go to the operating theaters.
When I have to go out foa for an object anal.
I have seen a lot of stuff up, But I think it's funny that she doesn't realize how close she came to a really embarrassing hospital trip.
All usually poop out.
Okay, all right, so pretty just took that and made it really medical. Thanks for shitting on that story.
Anyway. Let's get into the ask gun cuts guys.
All right, have you got one first? Start hot off the ranks? Yes, I do, and it is very relative to what we just discussed. Ladies, My boyfriend is really into butt stuff.
Me not so much.
I find it very uncomfortable and it really hurts. But he is very persistent that he wants to try it in the bedroom.
What should I do? I just thought, since we were on the tame, Yeah, I like.
I like it's a smooth transition.
I think this is easy.
I think anything can go down in the bedroom, anything you want, as long as you're both on board with it, you both feel comfortable with it, You've discussed it, and it's a safe, open, comfortable environment. The second one person in the relationship doesn't want to do something, you don't have to do it. And if you try to do it to make your partner happy, it's never ever going to end well, not healthy in the relationship to be doing something simply to please your partner. I mean, look,
we all make sacrifices and do things in life. We don't want to do blowjobs, your acts.
Of service on Father's Day nailed neck.
No, But like, sometimes you've got to make those sacrifices for the ones you love.
But that doesn't mean that you have to do butt stuff.
No, No, it doesn't.
And the thing is what I'm saying is like, yeah, you do have to meet halfway, sometimes meet in the middle, but you don't have to meet in the butt. No.
Seriously, though, you don't. You do not have to do it.
You can just have a conversation. And so I'm not comfortable with it. I don't really want to do it. Maybe we could try something else, or you can throw some suggestions out there yourself, but don't feel pressured.
Look, I am fully there with you, Britt, I think. I mean, obviously some people are super into it, that's great. I am definitely one of the women who are of the thoughts that there's a perfectly good hole in.
The front, and that the one in the back is a one way. It's got to stop signed right at the front door. And I honestly think that there are guys out there who who think that every single girl can do it, and that every single girl will enjoy it if they give it a go. I disagree, Okay, Like, yes, there are some girls out there who have done it and they have grown to like it and they enjoy it. But you know what, there are other people out there
who consistently don't enjoy it. It's painful, it's uncomfortable, and you don't have to bend what your boundaries are to make somebody else happy. Like, you know what, if that's a deal breaker for him in the bedroom.
If he absolutely has to do that and that's one of his number one fetishes, then maybe you guys are not sexually compatible. However, if he respects you and loves you and really cherishes the relationship, he's not going to push something that makes you uncomfortable, that makes you upset. You know, he can get his rocks off other ways. It can't be the only thing that gets him off.
There's a lot of relationships where one person in the relationship do want certain things and do have certain fetishes, But that doesn't have to mean that the relationships over. It doesn't have to mean you're not sexually compatible. It just has to mean that you meet halfway.
But this is easy for me.
It's just like, it's just explaining that it's not what you're into, and if you guys love each other, you'll just move on and it won't be it won't come up in topic again.
Yeah, But that's the thing I think is can be sometimes a bit confusing or a bit aggravating or disappointing in this type of conversation is that often you do have the conversation with a guy and say you're not interested, and then they bring it up again and then they you know, it just seems they do. They're like whoops, oh yeah, or just try just give it a crack,
you know. But like, I think that there are some men that are very persistent and don't take no or don't take that you're uncomfortable as like a hard no. I mean, that's that's a whole nother topic of conversation, isn't it men in general who don't see Noah's and no, they see Noah's and maybe. But I think if he respects you enough and you have explained why, and you know for whatever reason that why is, that should be enough in your relationship for him to respect it and
drop it. And unless you bring it up again in the future because you've decided that you want to try it, it shouldn't be a conversation that you keep having every single time you have sex, because that's just almost like being badgered into.
Doing something that you don't want to do. So stand you ground, girlfriend, Yeah, stay away from the butt.
Question number two. Okay, this is a bit more serious.
Fast is no? I think we're going uphill now? That was down. Okay.
I've been with my boyfriend for five years. Since we're eighteen, I moved away from the country to study at UNI, and eventually he followed. I have two years of my degree left, and he has told me that he wants to move back home to the country because he doesn't like his job and the city lifestyle. We had previously discussed that we would both move when I finish UNI. Is it fair that I feel really hurt by this?
I feel like that I'm not enough for him to just stick it out and find another job up here until I finish. I'm almost certain that long distance wouldn't work, and I don't want to miss out on these fun young years together being five hours apart all the time.
What are your thoughts on this?
I actually have some pretty strong thoughts on this, because I feel like I was in this exact situation when I was when I finished UNI. So I studied in Wollongong and I met a guy who has had moved to Lismore and he was studying up there. So as soon as I finished my degree in Woollongong, I moved to Lismore to be with him, and he had two
years left of his degree. We'd kind of done like about eight months long distance at the start of our relationship, and I did a year in Lismore and Lizmore's very country for anyone who doesn't know, it's like the Northern Rivers region. It's about forty five minutes inland from Byron, So you know, I just felt really displaced there.
I didn't have any friends.
I didn't really I didn't really get a good job, Like I was working in a job that wasn't very inspiring for me, especially when I just finished my UNI degree, and I found it really really difficult. And after a year I chose to move home. And I feel like we were in a very similar situation this, but in the reverse almost. I guess, like my thoughts on this is kind of trying to see it from the guy's
perspective and play a bit of the devil's advocate. I think it's really hard to expect someone to put their life on hold for two years. To having two years left of your unique degree is a really, really long time if your partner is really really unhappy being where
he is. And I don't think that one person and your relationship is enough of a source of happiness to make someone stay somewhere where everything else doesn't align with their sense of purpose, because two years is a long time to feel like you don't have purpose outside of a relationship.
I know that that's probably not what you want to.
Hear, because it's pretty heartbreaking when you think that you're not enough. But yeah, my relationship wasn't enough, and I ended up moving back. It didn't like we still did long distance, Like we made that work for a couple of years after that, and we ended up, you know, living together again in Sydney after he'd finished his degree.
But I don't know.
I just think I understand what it's like to be somewhere and feel like you don't belong there.
Where do I start?
You're like controversial because we don't agree. No, look, I agree, I do agree with what you just said for sure, and I can see that. But I think this might be the first time you and I might actually disagree.
We did talk about this topic a little bit before we started recording, and we could not We couldn't get to you same like, we couldn't get to the same place.
And it's funny that's never happened. Ever, It's never happened in a history of life uncut. We pretty much end up even if it's in a roundabout way we usually end up agreeing. Now, I'm I'm not straight out disagree with you at all, because I do I agree with what you said that like, if someone is inherently unhappy where they are, they shouldn't have to be there. But what I also think that means, and this is again, guys, this is just two people's opinions that have both been
in this situation. What I think that does mean is that maybe it's not maybe it's not the person and for you forever. I'm of the belief controversial, but I'm of the belief that at different points in your life are going to have to do some things, make some compromises, settle just a little bit for your partner, because your partner's going to be at a point in their life where they're gonna need you and they're going to have to do something for them and that is one hundred
percent going to be reciprocated. There's going to be a time when they're then going to have to go and follow their dream or do their thing. It's going to be a different timeline and you'll have to meet them halfway.
For that as well.
You're going to have to make compromises as well, because relationships and life, it's literally the foundation is compromise. You're never going to meet two people. They're going to go through life and be at the exact same point in life, what the exact same things, have, the exact same things drive them, make them happy, feel their soul like that is almost unheard of that two people will go on.
That journey at identical times.
I think that personally, I would feel what you're feeling if my partner said I don't want.
To be here and support you at this time.
If it's different, if he's going back now you haven't specified this, it's different. If he's going back because his Uni degree is there or his dream job has come up, this is completely different. If he's going back to do the same thing and just do life somewhere else without you at the same pace, I think that that's indicative that maybe he's not willing to make a sacrifice for a short term. Now, does this mean your relationships over No. Does it mean you can't do long distance? No, you
absolutely can do long distance. I am going to say that your feelings are warranted, and I feel like from just from the information you've given me that I think he should have stuck it out with you for the rest of the time, knowing full well that you said, as soon as you're done, you'll go back to the country, to the place that makes him happy. Like you guys
have said you're going back to that place. Yeah, maybe we will get to the same place, Brie, maybe we will do like a good spiel, it was a good spill.
But like I'm not fully like.
That's the thing that I want to add to this is like you guys are young, Like by the sounds of things, like you're at university, you're still trying to figure stuff out for your own lives and like where you want to be and what you want to do with yourselves. And there was a part of your question where you said, you know we are young, we shouldn't be enjoying this time together, you know, having fun and
not doing long distance. I guess, seeing things from his perspective a little bit, he is young, and he probably feels like he doesn't want to waste those young years being somewhere where he's not happy as well, So there are two sides to this, I guess, Like the big
thing is is no matter what's happening, in relationship. Like, yes, relationships, there are sacrifices that have to be made, but if somebody doesn't want to make those sacrifices, you can't force them to do that because that's what will make you happy. And you're absolutely entitled to feel sad or to feel lost, or to feel like you've been robbed of a decision that you made together because he has essentially changed his mind.
But you can't really hold it against someone if they want to go and do something that's gonna make them happy, that's just him living his life as well. And unfortunately that's just the shitty ups and downs of relationships and trying to figure it out and make it work and figure out whether this guy's you're Penquin or not.
Yeah, I think all you can do in this situation is be really honest with him, ask him to be honest with you. All you can say is I don't want you to go. I want you to stay. I want you to be here and support me. I don't want to live my life without you, but I want you to be happy. So make your decision based on what's going to make you absolutely happy.
And then if he.
Decides that he still wants to go. You've got to let him go. There's nothing you can do. You can still try and still try the relationship, but then be true to yourself, be honest yourself. If you're not happy, then doing long distance, if it's putting strain on it, then you're gonna have to reassess and have another conversation. But I remember when I was with my partner for five years, same as this girl said, I moved away to UNI and done.
He didn't want to move.
He had a great job, really high paying job. He was surfed every weekend, and he was competing. He was he had his whole life where he was, and it wasn't even a question for him. He packed up everything to move with me. And I even said to him like, if you're not, you know, you don't have to, even though like that was a rhetorical like I wanted him to be like you have to.
I was just trying to be the good girlfriend.
I was like, don't anything I won't do. But then if he said Noel would be like, well, the actual fuck no.
But he was like why wouldn't. He's like it's three years. Brittany.
In the scheme of things, like I don't want to spend three years without you. So he moved and took a lower paying job and he didn't love his life. But I was there, and so I guess that's me looking back at my like at my own experience in my relationship, and I just think, for the person that I love, and I can say this, I would move anywhere if it was the person that I love more than anything, and I thought that was my soulmate, my penguin, I would just move.
But that's the question, right, Like, maybe maybe the way that you view the relationship and what you want out of the relationship is essentially different to the way he views it. And I think that like people's actions and people's actions speak very loudly about their priorities, and right
now his priorities. That he's saying that he's not happy being there, and that you know, as much as like he may love being with you and being in the relationship, the relationship itself is not big enough to satisfy all the other parts of his personality that make him happy. And so that's why he's doing this part for himself. And you're absolutely entitled to be sad and to feel the way that you feel about it, but that doesn't mean that you can control him or make him do
something that he doesn't want to do. Basically, so I think that the only thing that you can do right now is just wait and see what decision he makes and then make your decisions based off that.
After telling him what you want, or have the combo.
Have the combo open channels of communication. I reckon we've covered that as much as we can. We're probably not going to get No, you are in the same spot.
Just had this.
Both have had the experience, so we both felt really strongly about it.
But also from the opposite spectrum.
Yeah, yeah, Okay, let's move on to the last question, question number three. Girls, My partner has a fairly significant gambling problem. He has been on again, off again with his habit for quite some time. Things start to get back on track, he gets back into saving money and staying away from the gambling, etc. Things are really good. Then something happens and he gets angry, frustrated. It just switches and he gambles it all away again. He's stealing
the process now of paying back gambling debts. I feel in some ways he's holding me back from living the life that I want obviously I really love him, or I wouldn't still be with him. However, I guess what I'm asking is, do you think people are capable of change? I'm torn as to whether I believe he will ever truly kick this habit, and I suppose that makes me afraid to have a future with him, as I don't want to put myself into a really shitty financial position if this.
Continues to happen.
I understand this is hard, but any advice.
Would be appreciated.
There's this such a hard one. I mean, I haven't had any experience with somebody like I've never dated a guy who has a gambling addiction. I definitely dated people who have other significant addictions in their life. And I think that maybe it's the same sentiment that kind of runs across all addictive personalities. If he doesn't want to change, if he doesn't genuinely, deeply want to change his behavior,
he's never going to. And there's no amount of you, you know, trying to persuade him with your love and affection and care for him that's going to make him change. And I think sometimes there is that saying that people need to hit rock bottom before they actually really really
want to make a difference in their life. I really think you have to have such a significant and honest conversation with him about it, and you need to instead of maybe putting parameters in place for him and his gamble, that obviously like goes without saying, but putting some parameters in place and some boundaries in place for yourself so that if he keeps crossing those boundaries and he does
do this again another time, like that's it. Like you know, you can't keep saying, oh, I'm you know, this time it's going to be different, and this time it's going to be different. And then each time the goalpost keeps moving and you just keep getting further down the rabbit hole and nothing changes.
This is a super hard one. Again.
I also, like Laura, I have never dated somebody with a gambling addiction. Have dated people with addictions, but not gambling. But like Laura just said, I think it all goes hand in hand with addictions. He has to want to change himself and he has to be at a point where he's open to help. You can offer all the help you want. You can wave it in his face like a hot piece of fresh bacon. If he's not hungry, he's not gonna eat it.
When things come to a head and you're like, I'm leaving for a very like reactional and quick band aid fix for someone to try and say, oh, I don't you know, I'm gonna not do it anymore. I'm gonna make sure you know, and then as soon as things go back to normal in your relationship, those promises all
fall by the wayside pretty quickly. I think if genuinely, if this is something that's going to stop, like, he needs to be making significant actions in his day to day life, not just when when you're threatening to leave. He needs to be going and speaking to someone, going and speaking to a therapist or a counselor or somebody who can work through addiction problems with gambling, like there are there are support groups that are specifically dedicated to
people who have gambling addictions. And I think that if this is something that is significantly affecting both of your lives and he is saying that he's committed to change, then his action really needs to show that he is committed to change and he needs to be implementing this stuff, and you know, if he does fall off the bandwagon, then there's consequences for that, and potentially those consequences are that the relationship is no longer is no longer there.
Otherwise you will find yourself down the track in five years or ten years time, and you won't have the life that you want because you'll still be dealing with someone who hasn't made the changes that they kept promising all this time.
The answer your question, like, your feelings are so warranted, and the fact of the matter is, gambling does ruin a lot of relationships. There are a lot of marriages that have broken down from gambling addictions, a lot of relationships that have not progressed because of this. Can people change absolutely? Can people recover? Absolutely? They can only when they're ready and only with the right help. So I'm not going to tell you to leave. I'm not going
to tell you to do anything. What I am going to say is if this is a recurring theme and he's not seeking help, then yes, if I were you, I would be thinking very very seriously about if this is the life I want.
I guess, like, the one thing I want to add to this conversation is that, like when you're dealing with somebody who has when you're in a relationship with somebody who has a gambling addiction or any sort of addiction.
The issue isn't just.
The fact that they have that they have a weakness, or that they are gambling. The issues that come with it is the inherent lying that goes with gambling. Because I'm sure that your partner is saying that he's not doing it. I'm sure he's saying that he's, you know, working towards getting better or like that, you know the money's not being spent, and then you find out or it's uncovered that you know money's being blown, and you
feel like you've been deceived. So there's so many more layers to it than just the actual gambling itself and the spending of money. There's this feeling of betrayal that comes when you're the partner of someone who has a gambling addiction. I mean, just to reiterate, I think that the most important thing that you can do is to really encourage him to get help and to take this seriously. And then you know, secondly, I know BRIT's saying that she's not going to tell you to leave him, and
I'm definitely not going to do that either. But I think it is really important for you to assess whether you actually think that any change has been happening or whether there's been a whole lot of empty promises. Because I really like this saying that when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Don't believe them on what they say they're going to do, don't believe them on what they promise you. You really have
to take people at face value. And if this has been going on for months or years throughout your entire relationship, then unless something significantly changes in his actions, yes, this will be something that will continue throughout your whole relationship.
Especially because the big problem with gambling is it brings problems into your work, relationship, to friends and other family members, and all of a sudden, it's not just where's my money, where's our money? It's all these other issues that get brought into your household, into your relationship, and that's what it implodes. So it's not just that he's gone and spent whatever amount of money. It's that all of a sudden, he's lost his job. So that's going to put straight on your relationship.
Yeah, and it also means that you don't you can't plan for anything like a normal stable couple are able to. You can't plan for a mortgage, you can't plan for a holiday, you can't plan for being financially able and the future, because you'd never really have a good idea or grasp over what your finances are going to be. And I think you know, everybody knows that finances and
money are a huge tipping point in relationships. That the longer you've been with someone and the more responsibilities you have, like children and dependence, the more that money becomes a really significant part of your relationship and a part that
a lot of people fight about. So if you don't have children, and this is something that's already a huge issue in your relationship, I really do think that that's another thing that you have to consider and assess and have conversations around, because how is this going to affect you when you have a family, How is this going to affect you when you need to buy a house? It is it's such a serious question to end on.
But I do think that the only advice that we can give you from two people who haven't been in this situation, you know, our most thoughtful but yet unqualified advice is that he needs to be making very significant action going and seeking help for this. You need to be able to feel confident that he's not gonna slip off the vandwagon and that you're not just getting empty promises.
And I did have a look at this.
There are there are plenty of support groups and helplines that you can go to. Lifeline does have You can just call the generic Lifeline. You can call a specific gambling helpline, that is, you can call that through Lifeline. So these numbers are all on the Lifeline website. And there's also a Gambler's Anonymous website. So these are some things that you could present to someone if they if they're in your life and they have this problem, tell him you'll go with him. Tell him he can call
on his own. You can go and visit the website together and navigate the website together. And then the only way you're gonna be able to make any decisions about your future is seeing how he reacts to this information that's been given to him. If he's going to put in the hard yards and say, yes, let's do this, I'm gonna do this brilliant. If he shows zero interest, reconsider.
Thinking back on when I used to work in nightclubs and bars and whatnot, like we obviously you have RSA and you have like your gambling RSA. I can't even remember what the equivalent of that is called these days, but basically, we would have a list of people who had gone through different gambling workshops and they had put
themselves in a non subscribe list. So we had photos at the clubs of people who were not allowed to come in and use our poker machines or gamble in our venues, and the club or the venue itself would actually be fined if you had allowed somebody who had a gambling addiction to come and be inside your venue. And now this takes a lot of self preservation as a person who has a gambling addiction to put themselves on one of these lists, but they're the people who
actually want to enact change. So if your partner really seriously wants to be different, he can ban himself self, ban himself from all of the clubs and bars that are around the area from the gambling room, not just from the venue, but from the room. You can also go on and you can ban the credit cards from all of the online gambling distribut as well. So that he can't just go on and play, you know, online
poker or whatever it is that he's playing. But these are actions of someone who is absolutely serious about kicking their gambling habit. The actions of someone who talks about stopping and then dips back in whenever they've had a hard day is really the actions of someone who's just telling you what you want to hear and not really
making any changes or difference in their life. So I think be very wary of that conversation because it can be it can become a very cyclical conversation where you get promised the world and then you know, they say all the right things because they know that that's what you want to hear, and then as soon as they've placated your anger or your hurt or that situation has died down, you know, if they do it again.
There's probably a support group for you as well. There are there'd be other people that want there are groups that want to talk about the problems they're facing as the spouse of someone with a gambling problem. So if you need help as well, don't don't you be scared to reach out and have the conversation too.
One hundred percent is our episode.
Guys, We're so sorry to have like done like a bait and switch with you today for today's episode.
That we do promise.
We just we did this because we didn't want to miss an episode. We didn't want to not give you, you know what you come.
For, the tea Day, the Tuesday's Thursdays. You know that we're human goods. It's a tea day. I never thought of it like that, so laugh on cart was due.
We didn't want to miss an episode, which is why we are recording this literally at eleven o'clock on Monday night when it needs to be out tomorrow morning. I know, Lol, it's ridiculous, but like, we're so dedicated to bringing you these episodes, and we will have our normal Tuesday's episode coming to you on Thursday, which is all about you know, living and dating someone who is a narcissist. I think it's gonna be a really interesting one to unpack. It'd
be relatable to a lot of people. Actually, Yeah, and for anyone who hasn't been in a relationship with somebody who is narcissistic. You know, I'm sure you know someone And this term gets like thrown around so often and maybe it's a friend who's in a relationship that seems really tox or maybe you know, maybe you have experienced it with a friendship or with a work colleague. So there's definitely going to be parallels and things that you'll be able to get out of this as well. It's
going to be a good episode. See then, Nah, that's not the sign off. Okay, before we go, I want to say one more thing to all of our Facebook group as well. We have set up a brand new secondary group because honestly, things are just getting a bit out of control on the main group. So Life on Cut podcast is our main group, but I've also set up another one for everybody who has been talking about doing meetups.
Not even talking, they're being meeting up guys.
It's crazy.
So like we've had Brisbane meetups already, there's people in Sydney who are talking about creating a meetup group and it's just like having a book club, but a book club for Life on Cut where you can come together with like minded people, discuss the episodes, discuss the topics that we talk about, and unpack the parts of it that you agree with that we've touched on, or maybe there's parts that you don't agree with us, which is totally fine.
Em I guess so.
But yeah, so then you guys can talk about your feelings about it as well, and like it's just such an awesome community. If you haven't joined the Facebook groups yet, please jump on and do that. Also, the instagram is life on cut podcast if you want to just join the.
Lolls and guys.
I think there are actually some Melbourneites shout out to you, guys. I'm I'm so sorry that you guys are in lockdown. I think I feel like sometimes we almost forget up here because bond Eye is just sort of like normal but just rub it in, Brittany. No, but what I loved is a few of you have been trying to do your own meetups but virtual, so you're organizing like zoom meetups, which I think is amazing.
Yeah, it's been so incredible to see.
So if you are feeling like a little bit isolated and just like you want to reach out to some people who are like minded and obviously dig the same podcasts and are into the same shit that you're into, then do jump on those meetup groups. Because yeah, like brit said, even Melbourne has a zoom meet up at the moment, which is just the most new age twenty twenty thing and I'm here for it.
Yeah, I love it.
Anyway, guys, you know the drill.
Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell sister, tell your brother, tea, friends, just tell everyone and share the love because we love love.
What the hell was that? Say that again?
Now we love love.