Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Part I'm Laura.
Have you forgotten your name?
You've had one way off and you've forgotten your name?
Even I had four days off. Come on and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, and this is Life one cut.
I'd just like to let you all know I'm very sorry that I wasn't there on Tuesday's episode. I was one hundred percent convinced that I was going into labor.
Yeah, she's actually not even joking.
So I walk in the door to do the record at night and everything's fine. She messaged me, She's like, hey, like still come up in an hour. I'm like, great, on my way. I walk in the door and you can hear the noise and Matt's face is white, like a possessed donkey.
On All fours business donkey. And then we yeah, we all the.
Three of us, and this is the relationship that it is. The three of us thought that Laura was going into labor for two hours.
Of course, the obvious and you know, the obvious thing to do then was for me to be going into labor and for Britain Matt to record a podcast. Okay, so in our defense, we were like, Laura, go to the hospital, like I think this is early signs of labor.
This is not normal, And she's like, the.
Podcast must go on. She's like, I'm gonna sit here and watch you whilst I'm in labor record the podcast together. So for anyone who doesn't actually know what we're talking about because you missed Tuesday's episode, basically, Matt, my partner, he and Brittany didn't ask uncut episode instead. And look, I mean, I know we're making jokes about it, but like, this isn't my first rodeo. It's not like this is the first time I've been pregnant. It wasn't just like
weird bracks and hicks cramps. I was getting like proper, really painful contractions and I call my midwife. My midwife was like, are you sure you don't just have gastro? There is one very important element that's missing, and that is the gas part. You know, I've done it before where I rocked up at the hospital and it turned out to be gas. That wasn't this, it was something else.
But anyway, it all kind of like subsided. After three hours timing the contractions and everything, Yeah, and they were like fifteen minutes apart. It was all very intense last night here. But anyway, I still managed to deliver the podcast. We got you an episode out on Tuesday, and I'm back and I still have a baby inside of me, and I do not I did not go into preterm labor.
So we do want you to know that when we do go rogue and things like that do happen and we're out of normal scheduling, it's always for a genuinely good reason. We don't just do it because we're lazy and we can't be bothered to do something. It's always because something. There's some sort of chaos in one of our lives which does happen, and we just try to find an alternative so we can still deliver you something.
So that is why Tuesday's episode happened the way it did. We thriving chaos. So we always bring.
The goods, guys. Honestly, imagine what we could achieve if you and I were organized.
That's just funny itself, isn't it. I know, I mean, I know I've complained about it a little bit on past episodes, but you know, strap onto your nickers, guys, because I'm gonna complain again.
Strap onto your nickers like a pad.
Strap your nickers onto yourself. I don't know, put them on just whatever. Maybe there's someone out there listening to this not wearing onndies right now. I bet you there is. I bet you were going to get a DM in about fifteen minutes. That says, yeah, I was listening to this without my aunties on.
Okay.
Anyway, second pregnancy sucks.
That's all I wanted to What's been very different for you, hasn't it? Yeah?
Like the first time, I was such a like a. I was just so glowy pregnant in my little element. I found everything so easier. I was still exercising. I just didn't have any I didn't have any cramps, and boobs didn't hurt, my back didn't hurt, my hips didn't hurt.
Yeah, you were like a beautiful supermodel mermaid. No, let's not get to you were you were like that pregnant woman that like floats, you know, the ones that don't walk, They float down the street.
Everyone's like, oh, she's so beautiful pregnant, and now I look like a that's donkey.
Like I said, just everything kind of has gone a little bit skew with this pregnancy, Like everything hurts a little bit more. Everything's like, you know, it's just been used its secondhand now.
Well the thing is.
Too when you're pregnant the first time. I mean, I'm really stately obvious here. When you're pregnant the first time, you weren't running around after a toddler. You had this whole other aspect that didn't exist yet. So now you have an extra full time job on top of everything.
I also didn't have the podcast then either, because we kind of started that just after Mally was born.
This is true, so you've taken on. Your life has increased exponentially. So I feel like, once we really nut this out, we can see why life's crazy.
So anyway, that is kind of where we're at. I still have ten weeks left with this pregnancy, Like I'm thirty weeks now, with thirty one weeks. Look, who knows, I've got to check the app. Look, we're getting closed. But we've got ten weeks left. So last night would have been a real disaster had it actually turned out to be pre term labor.
But it wasn't.
It was probably just gas. Speaking of pregnancy, this is like a little bit bit of weird side tangent, but it's something that I wanted to quickly touch on on the podcast. I saw something on Facebook the other day. Dan Andrews put up a post in regards to miscarriage and like, you guys know, if you've listened to our episode for a while, I did a really big well, we did really big, but it was my story. I guess we did a really big episode on miscarriage quite
a few months ago. And I read this statement that Dan Andrews had put on Facebook two days ago and it really really touched me, and so I want to share it with you guys if you haven't seen it yet. Basically, what the Australian government is going to do is parents who have experienced early pregnancy loss can now apply for a commemorative certificate from birth, death and Marriages. It's a small thing, but I hope it helps. And this is the statement that Dan Andrews put out.
Propably made me cry. What I read that was.
More just about finally acknowledging that it is a big loss and it is a life and it gives you a way to, I guess, find some sort of closure.
Yeah, and I think everyone deals with it differently. Like I mean, I personally wouldn't have gone down the path of getting a certificate or a commemorative certificate, like that's not something that I felt like I needed. But there would be so many women out there who who feel like it's just not it's not validated by anyone, you know, there's no it's like this thing that happens to you and then you just get on with your life as
though it never existed. But it did exist, and it was a little life, and it's just a really amazing thing. I think that like the government is taking a step to say, like, women need to be recognized in this suffering a women need to be recognized in their loss. And it gives people that ability to be able to take that step. And I just read it and it
really touched me. And I know that there are so many women who listen to this podcast who have experienced miscarriage, because so many of you have reached out to me, and I thought this might be something that you would want to hear as well. We really are moving forward in leaps and bounds, isn't It was only not even within the last two years.
Maybe we weren't even speaking about it. People were just suffering on their own. They wouldn't tell friends and family. There wasn't a lot out there publicly. And I feel like in the last few years.
We've made it okay to talk about We've made it okay to sit in your sadness and sit in your loss and tell friends. And I think it used to come from a place where you didn't want to put your grief onto someone else. You didn't want someone else to make you didn't want to make someone else feel uncomfortable, or you didn't think that would.
Understand, which a lot of people won't be able to understand because they haven't been through it. I haven't been through it, so I couldn't understand yours, but I could still understand loss.
I can still understand pain.
But then it's that thing that like, they're not talking about it, And this is what we got into when we did that episode. The not talking about it is what breeds shame, and it's what breeds guilt, and it's what makes people think, well that it's something wrong with me. So I just thought that this was a really beautiful statement, and it's actually interesting because this has just happened as a real sort of synchronicity. Today's podcast topic that we're
talking about is toxic positivity. And the very first time we ever talked about toxic positivity was when we talked about it in that episode. And how often people and family and friends and when you do talk about having miscarriage, how people always say, oh, this wasn't the right one, or you know, this baby wasn't meant for you, there must have been something wrong with it. They try and justify your sadness or justify your loss, where really you just want someone to sit in that with you or
let you feel through it yourself. So we're talking about toxic positivity today, and yeah, we're gonna break it down. It's like a bigger topic that's well and truly outside of the whole realms of miscarriage. But just that was like a really natural and organic segue, which I wasn't expecting.
There you go, in terms of segue, Oh god, for it is about to tell us Tommy something outrageous. Now speaking of like seguaying, I guess this is sort of on parting word.
No it is, now can you segueghing somewhere? Well, yeah, I think you can add I'm gonna.
Go segueing over here. Yeah, I'm gonna seg Yeah, I'm going segwaying. Continue with your segue.
No, but whilst we're talking about the whole everything to do with pregnancy and miscarriage, fertility, I am going to share my own little journey with you guys, because I love you all and you my family. And speaking of trying to dissipate the shame that is associated with anything to do with women trying fell pregnant or IVF for miscarriages.
That's what we're here for. We want to make everyone feel like you are not alone. We want to make it more Okay, So I am going to take you guys on my egg freezing journey.
Da da da. This is when, this is when it would be really great to put the clap on like a.
Sound effect on the podcast.
So we did the fertility episode with doctor Cherlfoi a couple of weeks ago now, and I was literally hooked to the episode.
I learned so much.
We had so many of your running saying how much that episode helped you, how much you got from it, and we love that.
But the fact of the matter is I left that episode I left that interview and I literally booked in to do it.
I was like, this is something that I feel very strongly about, and I felt like I had to start the process straight away, so I did so.
I I'll just it's not gonna be a long process.
It's actually quite short once you get going, So it's not like we're gonna be talking about this for a long time. But I may as well tell you what it's like as it happens, so that you guys are very aware. You literally go and get a referral. You go and say you want to freeze your eggs, You go and get a referral, and they're gonna give you a referral for a blood test and an ultrasound, and all that he's doing is checking your egg count and your follicles. They just want to know before you even.
Start what level they're at.
So I've done that, but I haven't got my results back yet. The sonographer said my follicles were great. She's like, there's plenty of them, they're great. But I haven't actually gone back to the doctors to get the results.
That it will be next week. But it was actually quite funny. So I I.
Went to my ultrasound I'd booked in and it was in the city, and it was the only day I've actually had to leave Bond in a long time that I've booked something that I cannot miss. Like everything else, usually I'm like, oh, I could postpone it, but this is like I couldn't. And it was the day that my car broke down this week. I had no way to get there. I was running really late. So my best friend Renee very kindly said, I'll take you to
the ultrasound. So she came in with me. And now, because it's fertility, I didn't know this, but you get.
A support person.
It's like when you go and have an ultra sound when you're having a baby, you can have one person in the room.
Now. Yeah, So Renee and I walk in and they're like, oh, is this your support person?
So I was like, yes, yes, this is now. I've got a photo, a really beautiful photo on my screen. Slave, I'll just show you. It's me and Renee, and it looks.
Like can guys make a beautiful couple?
We look like a couple, So I'm pretty sure this I'm pretrave when they thought were a couple because we're very close. We're very touch and touchy pheely. So I think I didn't realize at the time, but I think they thought a couple. So then we walk into the room to have the old sound, and Renee sits in a corner on a chair and they're like, oh, you don't have to be that far away, come come closer.
So she.
I know exactly where this is going.
So Renee gets out and like comes and sits down, and she's like, oh okay.
So she comes and sits down like literally next to my tummy, like holding my hand, you know, like it's a pregnancy thing.
And I'm like, cute, love this for us.
She's doing the scan and everything and Renee is like having gray time. Then she's like, okay, time for the internal. So what happens is you have to get an internal ultrasound to really check the follicles and count them, and Renee and I just like sort of look at each other and I just look at it with these eyes. You know, when you're your best friend, you can talk to them like you're like without words, You're like.
Is this cool? So like with my eyes, I'm looking at her.
She's ultrasound tildo in front of you. Are you okay with us? I'm jealous that I wasn't there.
You should have anary Renee sitting there. And I was like, yes, let's do that then, and Renee's like.
She's moving this big white thing up and she's like, I'm just gonna give She did the ultrasound and everything, so then at the end she's like, we're all done.
I'm just going to give you guys a minute, and I was like she definitely.
Renee's like, mate, I have gone above and beyond for your ages. I held just sat through this while you got an internal vaginal sound scanned.
Now she thinks for a couple ribs. So my question is, did NAE leave the room while you cleaned yourself up?
Because I know what it's like when you're just coloring loub after having an internal with ultra Sanda.
Were you like, oh, just look.
We're already there now, now we're already we're so far past Like yeah, that's actually the funny thing was it wasn't even that unusual, like now there was felt uncomfortable.
We were just like, look, I just looked at it with my wiggly eyes. I was like, is this cool? She wiggled her eyes back.
She was like, this is cool, and we just also it shouldn't be uncomfortable, Like I mean, it's not like you're doing something that's sexual in there, Like it's something that's for your own health. And what I love, Like, what I get so excited about is the fact that, like we did that podcast on fertility and so many people.
Are now going and getting their eggs checked. It's not awkward.
And I was totally fine to do it on my own, Like I went there to do it on my own. Everything was planned for me to do it on my own.
But I have to admit, and I will say this to anyone that's thinking about it, it was really nice to have someone in there doing it with you, because it's daunting and it can be sad because part of you this like I can't beat I'm just walking down this track now, and there's a part of you that's gonna think I can't be pever have to do this, especially that I have to do this on my own.
So it was really nice that I feel like it was the universe's way of just like if I just crash a car and then make a strainer for old sound and then we know a best friend or step in. But it was, in hindsight, a really nice thing to have someone there in the room going through the process with you.
But isn't it just a testament that you can like feel empowered and make a choice in something and be like cool, I'm going to take control of my own fertility, but then also simultaneously be allowed to feel a little bit sad or a little bit like, oh, this isn't exactly what I thought I was going to be doing. Like you know, it's both of those feelings can live simultaneously.
It doesn't mean that like you shouldn't still feel empowered and proud of yourself, but you're also allowed to feel a little bit like, ah, all right, we're doing this like cool and making some choices.
Well yeah, And the other thing is, you guys know, for anyone that's like an og life on cart listener, you know that we've constantly made jokes about me being emotionally void and like not not feeling my many emotions. Well, part of this is going off the pill. Now, I have been on the pill since I was fifteen.
I had to go off the pill. It's been six weeks. Oh my god, I have cried.
Stone cold bitch is melting, she's she's long.
I am like a puddle. I cry over everything. And I didn't know.
I always thought I was like a low key sociopath, but I just like I couldn't feel anything, but I feel everything now.
And you reckon that maybe being on the pill has stunted your ability to kind of like, yeah.
Because your hormones go insane when you come off the pill. Because now my body doesn't like so the first month, this is what happens. Your hormones go a bit nuts because they've been suppressed and they've been artificially like monitored for more than half of my life.
Everything just feels more sensitive.
I will look at a child patting a dog and I'm like, it's so cute, and I'll start crying. I watched a Christmas watch a Christmas movie with my sister.
Wait until you're pregnant.
Well, I think it's the same thing. I think it's like it's just this out of whack hormone. But anyway, so yeah, I just cry all the time. Guys, if you see me down the street crying.
I'm probably fine. Britnan's absolutely fine. I probably just saw a dog.
Do you know what, You're gonna end up dating the next person, and you're gonna be like, I love this man, and we're gonna get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Because you're not going to be like emotionally shut down and push him away after four dates. Maybe you're gonna be like, holy shit, this was it. I just haven't been able to connect with anyone.
I've actually been so I've actually been in love with every single person I've ever met.
I just didn't not realize. I just had the bloody of what was it?
Marvel on twenty five y has been getting in the way of my emotional connection. Okay, so before we jump into toxic positivity, which is the topic of today, it's time for our favorite part of every episode, and that is accidentally unfiltered.
Do you want to hit it off? I will hit it off? Okay. It starts with fuck my life.
So my partner and I went out your girlfriend, Yeah, you've got me there, that's enough. My partner and I went out together last night for some drinks. All of a sudden, I started to get some really bad cramps. It wasn't period pain though, and I knew that straight away.
It was just gas. I could tell.
So I went to the toilet and it was so painful. The pain is what I imagine the ring.
Of fire would feel like.
So I ran out to my boyfriend and we just went straight home. I was like, we need to go right now. I didn't find in front of him, but I really really needed help. Then I just remembered seeing this video i'd watched a little while ago on how to relieve gas from little babies. No, it's the one where you lay on It's.
The one way you lay them on their back and you move their legs around like they're riding a bike.
You pedal their legs, yes, and then they s pushed their legs into their belly.
Yeah. You moved their legs around like pedaling a bike, and then you push their legs to their chest. So I asked him to do that for me. I was just so desperate. I was crying from the pain. So he did, and then I shout myself while his crutch was on top of mine. He laughed. I cried dead.
Hell do we get so many farting and shitting stories the benchmark.
It's because it's so relatable, because all these people now are realizing that they've had this missed, very very unfortunate moment, but then realizing that they're not the only ones having these moments. But imagining your boyfriend on you pedaling your legs to do a fart, that's bad enough. But then you shout yourself, but what.
Did you think was gonna happen?
Like? What was going to the I mean I think she thought you far the best end goal was that you're gonna fart on him, like because like, when has anyone seen the farting baby videos? Like you literally stand, you hold their feet, and you pedal them and then you push both legs back into their belly, which I'm sure it only works on babies and people who have really, really really bad gas. It evidently worked on her, and she's a grown ass woman. I have two, actually I
don't have too. I've got one which is like the most innocent and lovely, accidentally unfiltered that we've had in a really long time. And then I also have and I can't believe they said that. Oh I love when you're bringing up I'm back in mad. I'm just here with the goods, all right. So I have one This is very innocent and it's very sweet. They're always so pooh inappropriate. There were sex and pooh and dildos and contacts,
the good stuff of anal sex. Anyway, it's been a while since I've said anal sex on the podcast, so here we go. Just the other day, it was Black Friday sales and I went into my favorite shoe store, which is in one of the busiest shopping centers. I tried on a few pairs of shoes, and then I noticed a really cute pair of sandals on the floor next to a shoe box that obviously someone had just tried on, so I picked them up. They looked like they were my side. I can see this, and I
tried them on. Here I am walking around the shop in these cute as pair of shoes that I'm one hundred percent going to buy as soon as i can find the price tag, when all of a sudden, this lady in her fifties calls out from across the store, which is heaving with customers, excuse me, why the hell are you wearing my shoes? I had literally put on another customer's pair of shoes that, on closer inspection weren't even you.
So that is actually though, that is such an easy and there's something to do. I think that would happen all the time. No, I'm rare, surely, do you know what? I wear my shoes until they're literally falling apart.
Nobody would ever mistake my shoes for new shoes and a shoe shop.
Well, no one wu want to wear mine. I wear those like big reefs that like struck Rund your own cool like you, but you made them cool.
Well, I feel I like them, but I had some of my friends pay me out, but I don't care.
It would be my best life. I'm leaving my truth and I'm wearing my reef sandal I just like I also how Birkenstocks came back in style.
Like like fifteen years Yeah, but they were like such loser shoes and then all of a sudden, a couple of hot people on Instagram started wearing them, and everyone was like, I need to get birkenstar.
Well that's why I'm gonna keep somebody king. I'm bringing them back in.
You guys might remember a while back we had a section on the podcast which just kind of like fleets in and fleets out whenever people send us some really really good quotes. But we did do a section for a couple of weeks there which was I can't believe they said that. And yesterday we got this message over DMS on Instagram and I was like, this one really takes the cake for me, Brittany. This one was specifically dressed to you.
Great, it's gonna be a red flag.
No, it was for Brittany, But I'm sure that you can both sympathize.
Okay.
I once saw a psychic who told me that my soul is destined to be alone and that I never found love in all my previous lives, and if I found love in this life, it would be the first time my soul has ever been in love. I paid one hundred and fifty dollars for this. Great inside excuse me. Now I die alone and never find love and happiness. You imagine who says that?
What is wrong with this? This is why I won't go to a psychic. Oh, okay, I've been to a psychic. What do they say?
Actually, this is a funny story. I went to a psychic. I don't know why this problem happened to me twice.
Oh, I feel so alone. No, my friend I was like, I've been to this psychic. She's great, you should go to one.
You know what.
Fine, I'm in this weird transition period of my life. I'd been broken up with my long timpano, and I was dating, and I wanted to be o a seat, I want to all these things. So I was like, fuck it, I'll go to a psychic. So I went to the psychic. She can't recommend him, and she she was asking about my love life and she's like, I'm feeling that you are unsettled.
And I was like, yes, like literally, because every single person who comes to you is feeling unsettled.
Yeah, exactly, reason why they come here.
Then she's like, I feel like there's two people in your life, two men, and they actually were like but men, and I was like I didn't know which one I wanted to date, which is the first and last time it's ever happened to me. So she says, I'm gonna help you. She's like, close your eyes. So I was really into this, so I close my eyes. She's like the two men.
That you're have feelings for are on a boat, but they can't swim, and I was like, oh.
Shit, I'm gonna have to save someone, and oh there's a.
Hole in the boat and the boat is slowly sinking. You can only save one. Who do you save?
And I was like, bro, I actually opened my eyes and I was like, I would save both of them because I'm a good human.
And she's like, you can't. You can only save one, and I'm like, this is not what a psychic does.
Anyway. It was this big bullshit saga about trying to save one, and.
I was like, maybe this is a really deep way and maybe I'm supposed to meet someone that's on a boat or like I was trying to like find an end.
To it means like there's a third man coming with a super.
But then I went back a year later to the same psychic and she did the exact same thing, word for word, and then I was like, this is bullshit. I was like, you're just repeating. She's forgotten that it was me. It's obviously just her spiel that she does to every single person.
Well, I also had a very very similar experience for psychic, so maybe it was the same one you guys have. Actually, we've had people right in being like you need to get a psychic on to tell like your fortunes, fortune's futures. I don't even know give us like the Lucky lottery nuther fortune. I'm really skeptic about it, Like I find
it really difficult to be open to it. But I have gone and spoken to psychics, usually when I've been in a period in my life where I felt like there's a fork in the road and they needed to choose something and I couldn't make that decision on my own, and I wanted someone to like appease my bad decision making.
But the thing is, even if it's a placebo, that's sometimes why we go. It's like sometimes you want someone to just say, yeah, you're doing the right thing.
Totally, or you want someone to answer the questions for you. Almost I'm not discounting it.
Like I do think that there are some people out there in the world that do get feelings, They do speak to people in another world, they do get these feelings with people's past lives. I do think there are those people, but I think there are so many people taking people for a ride, for sure, Like you have to be very skeptical, you have take everything with a grain of salt unless they're really hitting things that are impossible for them to know. But I do think, Laura,
that that is a good idea. I think we should if any of you guys know a really good psychic. But I mean, they have to approven themselves to you. You have to, they have to had to have said something to you that was so crazy that you're like this.
No one else could know this.
We want to know who that is because I think it'd be really fun to get them in on an episode.
I mean, I'm open to it.
I definitely know that there are things in this world that like don't have rhyme or reason, and that you do not everything logical, and that people have can tap into things that I certainly can't.
Like, I have full appreciation for that.
However, I'm still skeptical when people try and tell me what they can see about my life, Like I'm a bit closed off to what I think. However, I don't know if any of you guys remember this, but this was from my season of Batch. On one of my minor Matt single days, we had to go and see a psychic that.
Was like our single date that we had, remember that.
So we sat down with a psychic and the psychic said, oh, you guys look like you have a lot of physical chemistry, but like, I don't know if there's anything more there other than physical chemistry. And I was like, I go, we'll see flash four three years. You don't even have sex anymore. Now, he's not here for the physical chemistry.
You got it wrong.
That woman who is the psychic on our season has been back over the last three seasons as like a different role. So she was a love coach on one episode and she's she's literally just an actor the Channel ten hires, and I felt so betrayed when she came back as a love coach in the seven season. I was like, that's our psychic, dressed very different with a different name.
I recognize her. Let's be optimistic.
Oh a different name, different name. I was gonna say, let's be optimistic. Maybe she went and studied further. Maybe she has multiple professions.
Yeah, like what we do. No, she had a different name and a different wig.
She was an actress.
Sure was the same person. Oh my god, you just blew up the Bachelor franchise.
Don't believe anything on TV, guys, It's not real. Oh it is, You're in love?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, guys, it's time to get into the real meaty part of the episode. And we mentioned at the beginning today we're going to talk about toxic positivity.
Now, what is toxic positivity? Do you ask? I asked the same thing. It's not a term.
Do you ask who was asking?
No? I just asked whoever wanted to answer me?
Like I asked this, I thought you knew, and you'd prepped for this episode. Well, no, because I I knew.
I did. That's why I brought it up.
But it was a term that I was thrown around by my sister. And It's like I always knew what it was, but I never knew it had a proper label, and I'd never gone into depth. I'd never studied it and researched it, and I never knew just how bad it could be.
I never knew how prevalent it could be.
Now, a lot of you probably haven't heard of toxic positivity. That's okay, because I'm going to tell you what it is. Toxic positivity refers to the concept that keeping positive and keeping positive only.
Is the right way to live your life.
It means only focusing on positive things and rejecting anything that may trigger negative emotions. So essentially, all those things on Instagram, all these people that are always saying good vibes, only keep your chin up, You'll be okay, Tomorrow's a new day.
You've got this. That's all fantastic.
We all love a bit of a pick me up and a bit of positivity, but toxic positivity is the idea that that is the only way to live your life. And if you're ever feeling down, you're not allowed to sit in that emotion. You're not allowed to explore that emotion. You're allowed to put it out publicly that you're having a hard time, that you need help, that you want to talk about something deep by that's going on with you.
And we're seeing this so much in a lot of aspects in life, but so much on social media right now, and that's why.
We wanted to jump in and have a little flesh out chat today.
Well, I guess also like we live in a society, especially because of Instagram, where we put happiness on a pedestal and we talk about happiness so much like you should be happy, you should stay positive because you know, if you're it's like almost like if you're happy, like you're enlightened. But it's not possible for happiness to exist on its own. Like happiness, it exists amongst all the other emotions that we have in the world, you know, like grief and sadness.
And fear and anxiety.
All of these feelings are just as relevant and prevalent
as happiness. And I think that like it's impossible to just be happy and stay positive all the time without the shade that comes from those other more slightly negative emotions, but not necessarily emotions that you should always shy away from, because there are situations in life, there are days, there are times, there are things that you will experience where all of those negative emotions are completely valid, And when you are presented by someone who almost dismisses the way
you feel or dismisses the situation that you're in because they want you to be happy, that's when toxic positivity comes into place. So an example of this would be imagine like going to your girlfriend about something that's happened in your life, like maybe you've just lost your job, maybe a pet has passed away, something that is significant, but it could also be something that's not as significant.
You could just be having a really shitty day, right, which you're entitled to have when we're all entitled to have.
Imagine going to someone who you care about and saying like, this has happened to me and I'm feeling pretty shit about it, and their response being oh, you know what, it's so fine, You're totally going to find another job in a couple of weeks time, like, don't even worry about it, and therefore not allowing you the time to be at least that little bit of like feeling that fear or feeling that anxiety instead of saying, Hey, this situation is really shit. I'm really sorry this has happened
to you. Do you want to talk about it? It's like you're being denied the ability to have those emotions at all.
Well, the thing is, Okay, you lose your job.
Yeah, you might find another job in a month, but that doesn't take away from the fact that right now you've lost your job, and right now you're scared about where your money's going to come from, and right now you're worried that you might not get another job. What it does is just not let you actually experience a completely normal human emotion like you just said, Laura, We're expected to be happy all the time, and we are taught that happiness is success.
Happiness one hundred percent is success.
But no one can go through life without feeling at a rollercoaster of emotions. You're to get to where you are, to be who you are, to be successful, you need to experience failure. We're all going to experience failure. We're all going to experience pain at some time, but it can actually be really detrimental to not let yourself sit in that and feel it. And toxic positivity can take a few different forms, so I'm just going to tell
you a couple of them. It can literally be a family member who chastises you for having any form of frustration. Instead of asking why you're upset, they'll say, get over it.
It can be a comment like, oh, look.
On the bright side, be grateful for what you have. Okay, so you don't have a job, but you've got someone that loves you, like you should be grateful for that.
I think that'd be grateful for what you have. One is really massive, like that's the one that sticks out to me is like a real sort of I mean red flag and this whole idea of toxic positivity because it's like, you can be grateful for what you have in life and still be sad about something that you didn't get. Like those things can coexist at the same time.
But by like denying someone the right to feel sad and telling them that they should only be grateful all the time just means that that you're trying to shut down somebody else's human reaction to a situation.
Yeah, and don't get me wrong, I'm a big advocate. I do think it's really important to remember what you have all the time. But that's just to put things back into perspective in your life. It's not to take away from the fact that you're not experiencing a loss. It's literally just to say, you know what, I do have a lot to be grateful for. It's still just to try and I guess plateau. You might have really bad things that happen in your life. You might have
really great things in your life. It's just to bring you back to a happy medium and be like, you know what, I can get through this. You can still be sad, but you're like, I do have a lot of good things that I'm working towards, and I'll try and redirect my focus. Some other things are and this is everywhere on Instagram and Facebook and social media. It's all these perpetual memes and these Instagram pages that are just constantly in your face about being happy, the good
vibes only changing your outlook on life. I have unfollowed pages like that. I used to follow them because I love them. I used to be that person that used to want to throw out all these great quotes. The older I get now and the more life experience I get, I'm happy to share the downs of life, and we share them on the podcast.
That's why we started it, because we were.
Like, you know what, We want people to realize that it's okay not to be okay.
It's okay to.
Go through all these really really really hard times and to be able to talk to someone about it.
And Laura and I are really good with letting.
Each other feel bad feelings and letting each other feel upset, and letting each other sit in that we don't try and always say, you know, you'll be fine, look.
On the bright side, Tomorrow's a new day. We actually are like, fuck, that's fucking shit.
I think just what I said to you, I genuinely think that's a learned experience though, because like, I don't think I used to be like that. I and this didn't my my reaction to trying to help someone or trying to like give advice when someone would tell me that something was wrong, particularly friends, I have learnt in my age and in my experience, what is a better way to approach situations purely because when something bad has happened to me and I have received those words back
from somebody else, it's made me feel like shit. So what I mean is is like back in the day, when my girlfriends would say to me, oh, I'm really upset about X, Y and Z, it would be my natural preset to try and fix it and be like, oh, it's this is okay because you've got this and like you should focus on these things. And I was definitely the person who would try and mask what they were going through, not because I didn't care about the way they felt, Like of course I could recognize that they
were sad, but I wanted to fix it. Like there was a part of me that was like, oh, let's if I can you know, fix this problem, or I can make you see the good things in your life. You're not going to be so sad. But sometimes as a friend, and sometimes in all aspects and all relationships that you have, you don't need to fix a problem. You just need to allow someone to feel sad. And when someone comes to you to speak to you about something that's happened to them, they're not expecting you to
have an answer. They're just expecting almost a sounding board. And I know that I've already mentioned this in this episode earlier, but like I learned that lesson when I went through my miscarriages and what happened with me. For anyone who hasn't listened to that episode was I spoke to a really close girlfriend of mine about it, and she very quickly wrapped the conversation up, and and I really wanted to talk to her because I was I was really struggling at the time. And she said, you
know what, this baby wasn't meant this earth. There was obviously something wrong with it, so like you should be happy that you know this happened, because obviously the baby would have had problems. And I was like, fuck, yeah, of course I don't. I don't want to have a baby that has, you know, health issues. I don't want a baby whose life is going to be hard. But I still want to be able to be sad about the fact that this has happened. I don't want you to tell me to not be sad right now. I
just want to have my feelings validated. And that was probably the first time in my life that I had experienced toxic positivity really directly back at me, without without really thinking about maybe I had done it in the past, and like, I know that she didn't do it as an intentional thing, and I know that that her absolute intention at heart was because she felt uncomfortable by me being sad.
And that's what we do in our society.
I think we have created an environment and we've created relationships where we are not comfortable with other people's pain and other people's hurt, and it makes us feel a bit like what are we gonna do now? And so we had this instant default to try and fix everything,
and sometimes you just don't need to fix things. It's definitely a learned behavior, and it's definitely, like you said, there's never any ill intention behind someone that says things like you know, you've got all these other things to look forward.
Tomorrow's a new day. There's definitely not ill intentioned.
And I think that's why it's so important to talk about it now. It's because people do want to just take your pain away. They want to brush any discomfort under the carpet. Nobody wants to sit there and have an awkward conversation while their friends crying and not know what to do.
But it may not have ill intentioned, but it's very dismissive. And that's the thing that wanted to unpack on this is y idea that by not validating it, you're dismissing it and you're not giving a voice to that person's sadness. And it also means that they can't move through it as quickly as what they would want to, or what they might be able to if they were actually able to feel those emotions properly.
I remember you told me you had your first miscarriage. I remember you told me, and I just went, fuck that fucking sucks.
And that was literally the only thing that you can say.
And that was it because I was like, because there's nothing else to say in that situation, like nothing you can say, and I haven't experienced it, so it's not I can relate it to myself.
And there was actually a really interesting study that was done in twenty eighteen and it was around emotional acceptance. And one of the quotes that came out of this study is that if you are always trying to be positive, you if you are like I have to be happy one hundred percent of the time and no other emotion I'm going to give life to or give value to, then what that does is actually creates something called meta emotions, and it's basically like feeling an emotion about an emotion.
So if you feel like you're having a shit day and you're sad, or you're sad for no reason, like maybe you know, we all have days where sometimes something has gotten to us and we've just feel a bit low, and yeah, things in our life are great, and maybe we don't feel justified to have a low day because like there's way worse things happening to whole lot of
other people out there. But then you end up feeling guilty or you end up feeling disappointed on top of that original feeling that you have, so you feel bad about the fact that you feel bad. One of the most prime example that we've seen of toxic positivity, which I think like everyone will be able to identify is Donald Trump and how he has handled coronavirus and him running around being like everything's fine, there's no problem here,
Like you know, we're beating it. Everything is great. This like constant projection that everything is awesome when things are not awesome really invalidates one people's fear around it. It also invalidates people's loss, Like hundreds of thousands of people have died in America, and it means that like these the people who are suffering and the people who feel fear are being told that they're silly fulfilling that because everything is great.
Just I mean, you take what anything Donald Trump says with a grain of salt, right, But I.
Mean when someone who's like in a leadership position and they are showing toxic positivity, it's like, I think that that's when it can become really dangerous. And we also see in other aspects as well. I think a really good example of it. We hear about a lot of
people who have cured themselves through whatever medical ailment. It might be whether they have cancer or they have a terminal illness and they've decided to go off medicine that has been tried and tested and has all of this research studies behind it because they want to embrace maybe some more natural healing, but also this positive thinking and this idea that being positive is enough to be able to heal our bodies and actually put us back onto
like a path of health. And maybe there is an odd case out there where something has happened where that person has been healed, but I guarantee you that for every case where somebody has been healed from positive thinking, there's going to be a hundred other cases where someone has passed away because they haven't gone down the path of what's been advised to them with traditional medicine. So
positive thinking can actually be really dangerous as well. You know, sometimes these negative feelings that we have our body's warning system that something is wrong, that there is other things that you need to take into account in your life. And that's what gives you balance, It's what warns you against danger. It's what stops you from like making terrible decisions and just walking blindly into everything is roses and everything is amazing.
Well, this idea of it's fine, it's fine, everything fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. It's the most common statement isn't it. How are you going like, No, I'm so fine, it's fine. Oh you lost your job. Yeah, but it'll be fine, it's fine.
What this does is can actually exacerbate negative feelings purely because you're not letting yourself work through your deep seated issues. Like we all have things that we need to work through. But if you cover those up with a blanket and pretend they don't exist, they're.
Going to fester.
They absolutely will fester, and it will come out and be very detrimental. There's a woman called Natalie Detillo. She's a clinical health psychologist at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, and I just thought she explained it really well. She says, think of it as having a few too many scoops of ice cream. It's really good and it makes us feel better, But then you can overdo it, she said,
Then it makes you feel a little bit sick. But then imagine trying shove that ice cream into somebody's face when they don't feel like having ice cream. Or imagine if they were like dairy intolerant and you're trying to shove this ice cream into them. It's gonna make them, It's gonna make them feel shit, They're gonna feel sick feeding too much ice cream, They're saying, She's saying. It's the same thing with all these really positive memes about
not letting yourself sit in your emotions. And I just thought that was like a really interesting way of saying, don't shove it onto someone all the time.
We know this, We know this through relationships. We know this through like so many of the other conversations we've had, where like if you push something down and you don't recognize it, it'll only come up bigger later and down the track, right, Like we see this in relationships, if you don't talk about the problems you're having, if you don't communicate those issues, have open dialogue where you feel better, you feel recognized, you feel seen, and then then you
can move forward from it. Those problems don't go away, they don't just dissolve because you've been super positive about it. They come back and they rear their ugly head and they're ten times worse because they're being compounded by this neglect as well. But I think, like this conversation is really interesting because I do think as a society, the language that we use, like when you said I'm fine.
Like this idea of saying I'm fine, I think we use language that doesn't really allow people to talk about their feelings because we are, like we said earlier, so concerned about making people feel uncomfortable. Then another prime example of this is, like every day we do it with We do it in shops, we do it with people that we see on the street, like we do it in very casual conversations. We say, hey, how are you going, and we expect the answer to be I'm fine, I'm good.
You never expect someone to say to you, actually, I'm not feeling great. I'm having a really hard day. So then why do we ask it? Why do we ask such a casual question about how someone is when we really don't actually care about the answer. It's because it's become.
This polite, it's a pleasantry. It's a greeting almost now, how are you is almost We don't actually want to know how they are. It's it's like a greeting.
You're not gonna walk into Gloria Jeans and be like, oh, actually, I'm having a really fucking hard day, Like my boyfriend just broke up with me, I lost my job, and I'm feeling pretty sad?
Do you want to talk about it? People are down? Sometimes people do that and then you're like, WHOA, I didn't want to actually know?
How are they are paying three dollars forty for a cafe latte, you are not paying for therapy session. But I think like this is something that we can be conscious of because language is really important, and the language that we use allows someone to talk about their feelings or its stifles someone's feelings. And if someone is having a really really hard time and we're like, hey, how you going, and they have to be like I'm fine when they're not fine, Like that can add to it as well.
And it's not.
Something I really thought about until I was actually in my own store the other day and I was having this very like trivial, transient conversation with someone where I was like, you know, all the niceties and the pleasantries, but I was like thinking about this topic because obviously we're gonna be talking about it, And I was like, why do I ask that? Why do I say how how are you? When I clearly don't care about the answer.
It's food for thought, isn't it?
But I don't know where we would go with a greeting other than Hi, how you going? Hi?
I hope you are having a great day. No, I hope you are having a great day. Like I like the idea of it, but maybe it's impractical. But it's only impractical. It's because we've made how you're going so common?
Sing.
I want to tell you just about this study because we love studies here at life on com. We're well researched. This is a well researched, oiled machine, guys.
I just find it really interesting. There was a ten year Stanford study and it found that denying negative feelings as a coping mechanism was linked to high levels of depression. So those people that didn't let themselves feel their pain, that didn't let themselves have any negative emotions, that constantly said I'm fine was linked to higher levels of depression. Another study in twenty eleven found that people actually felt more sad when others expected them not.
To feel negative emotions such a sadness.
Well, it's that thing right when you Okay, if I tell you look at this drink bottle, Now, don't think about the drink bottle. You can think about anything else but that drink bottle. When you try and tell your brain not to think about something. When you tell your brain not to do it, you are going to focus on it three hundred times more So, like if you're telling yourself, you know what, don't be sad about that breakup.
You can just get on with it. You can exercise, you can just ignore it, and the pain will go away. It doesn't go away. Sometimes things happen and you have to sit in that pain, and the only way out of it is through it. And we do feel that, Yes, there's going to be times where you can mask it with doing different activities.
You can mask with partying, you can mask it with drinking.
You can mask with going out with the hot guy and having really great sex.
You can mask be targing me.
That you can mask emotions, but the only way to really kind of get through to the other side is actually feeling the spectrum of feelings that you have, and no feelings are bad. I think the important thing to know is that everything has an equilibrium, so long as that being positive and being happy is something that's on your equilibrium, so long as that's fifty percent of your life, and then you have all the other emotions that are scattered around for the other fifty percent, then I think
that that's a really healthy balance. But to think that you have to be happy all the time, it's just this most absolutely outrageously unrealistic standard that we've set for ourselves.
It is so brought on by social media as well.
One thing that I personally see is like mummy bloggers and how unrealistic parenting looks like on social media, and how I and I know it's not real, but I see it. I think other people are just fucking killing it. And then I look at my shithole of the house and how nothing works and my kid's constantly sick and this clothes everywhere, and I think I'm failing because I'm
not living in this perfection of bliss. And I think all of this stuff ties into this real ethos of toxic positivity that ends up making people feel worse about themselves, not better.
Rant and stand No, I completely agree.
But the one thing I took out from that was when you were like, when you're like, I put the drip.
Boil here and I'll tell you don't look at it, and all you can do is looking at it.
It's like when you tell I've ready to my friend down the street the other day, this guy, and we're just chatting, and the harshest guy I have ever seen was like right behind him, and I just I stopped mid conversation and I was like, oh my god, don't look, but the hot exky ever is behind you. And immediately he whips his head around, he goes where and I'm like, and the guy was half a meter away and he looked Blake and me.
I was like, you just fuck I just I got him out of bond right now. Thanks, look what you've done. I was like, when someone says to.
You like, don't touch it, don't touch it, don't do it, don't look at it, all you want to do is be like I need to look so bad all you want to do. It becomes like the main focus. That's why you can't say to someone, hey, there's someone really hot behind you. Of course they're going to turn around.
I just really like this one quote that I want to throw in before we get into some ways to deal with toxic positivity, and that is recognize that how you're feeling is valid no matter what, and it's okay to not be okay, So don't beat yourself up about it. If you're having a day where you know what you are struggling. It doesn't make you ungrateful. It doesn't mean that you don't appreciate all the other wonderful things in your life. It doesn't mean that your life isn't wonderful.
It just means that you're allowed to feel everything that you feel.
We all want to feel better than we do when we're feeling shitty, but you can't. I can't put that pressure in yourself to constantly be on a high. So first of all, just recognize that.
Just be like, you know what, I.
Feel shit and that's okay. Similarly, if your friend has come to you and said that they feel shit, you need to let you need to recognize that as well.
You need to acknowledge that.
You need to say, you know what, I'm so sorry you feel shit, what's happening, what's happening in your life?
What can we do about it? And it's going to take you down a whole other conversation with them on what you can do to help them, and just let them. Don't take that away from them, because that's what it is. It's literally saying you're not entitled to feel that when this person obviously has just said I fucking feel that, like, this is what I'm feeling. Things are.
I mean, I feel like when you read them and when I tell you them, you're gonna say, like, yeah, these all seem very obvious. These are all very obvious things. It's just that we don't do them. We don't allow ourselves to do them, and we don't do.
Them to other people.
But it's literally keeping the attention on the other person. If they've come to you with their problem, don't relate it back to you. Don't say, well, I know when I did this, and I know when I lost my job. That is nice, but right now, you can get to that later. Right now, it's about them. It's about the job that they've lost, and they don't want to know how you got through and succeeded and now have this
wonderful life. They just want you to listen to them and validate their feeling ask what they need, let them let them tell you their problems, ask them what they need, validate their feelings. You could say things like, what will be the most helpful thing I can do for you?
I understand this situation is really hard.
Sitting your feelings feel it you feel shit, feel fucking shit, validate it. Yeah, And it's like they all seem so simple, but you don't have to like slap your face and get yourself out of it and go for a run and be like, yeah, I love life, like sitting in your bed and cry if you want, if that's what, if that's what your body needs right now.
This year twenty twenty has been a real year of toxic positivity, where people are like, use this time to start a new business and do this and do that, and maybe, like this conversation would have been great for the very beginning of the pandemic when there was all of this like let's try and look on the bright
side of things. But sometimes when you're like working from home in a tiny one bedroom studio and you have a child that's no longer going to school, like there's just so many aspects where you're like, it's not possible for me to use this time productively, right, there's so many things where you like and I was seeing on social media where I was like the Gwyneth Paltrow thing where she's like, make sure you use this time to better yourself, Like we're never going to get a time
like this again in our lives and by I'm my fifteen thousand dollars vagina candle and steam, you're a vagina. But I was like, I hope we never have another time like this in my life, Like I need to go to work in my office, I need to be able to send my kid to daycare, like I need those creature comforts that a pandemic doesn't allow me to thrive, in which I'm sure a bazillion other people felt exactly
the same. So my big pointer is remove people from social media whose lives seem so perfect and who are so positive and so polished that it makes you feel shit about yourself, because that is a whole other form of toxic positivity. And it's not that you're being invalidated, but it's the comparison that everybody else's life is perfect and great and everything like radiates on this high frequency of happines and then you don't match up to that.
And I think that that is something that we experience all the time with social media, is this idea that like we're not quite enough.
Well, it's our favorite saying, isn't it. Comparison is the thief of joy, that's.
Your favorite sand baby, But I really like it too. I love it, but it's the truth. Absolutely is the truth. So I think, like it's always good to do a social media clear out, cleanse your life of that bullshit and just like get some real people who are authentic and genuine and show the light and they show the shade and they show the shit and they show the great stuff.
That's what you need.
I hope this has giving you some food for thought, and I hope you've sort of having a look at your own life and your friend's life and think about the way you react to someone that comes to you with a problem. Next time, you might be a little bit more hyper aware of the way you speak to them or the way you deal with the situation.
That's what we wanted to do.
We just wanted to break your attention that you might not have realized that you were even doing it, or you might not realize that there are people in your life doing it to you.
But now you know what, I want to wrap this up.
We're the quote that I like, as I know, you know, I love to finish on high deep.
It's just a short one, but positivity, love and.
Laugh, and we're gonna stick it on the wall with some drift wood. Positivity must live alongside compassion. Oh, I love that I read that as well. Actually, and you're reading my research because I wrote it in the know. I read it in the article that.
You read it from.
Yeah, positivity must live alongside and compassion. I love that they go hand in hand. Do you want to unpack that a little bit?
Not really, I think we just did in the whole episode, didn't we.
Positivity lives alongside compassions.
You can't have one without the other. I know.
Let's just leave the quote is the quote?
Oh, I hope you all learned something.
Thanks for coming to our ted talk.
All right, guys, you know that we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet, our highlight and our low light of each and every single week. Brittany, you look like you're still thinking about it, so I can got it?
Okay, all right? What is your suck? Okay?
I stuck with my car break down at midnight after a really long shift that's gonna cost me thousands of dollars and I've been three days without a car now, hands down my speaking so quickly. I did that on purpose because I was just trying to get my stuck out.
Okay, just so you guys are aware, Brittany owns like the bougiest of boogiest fucking car. She owns a range Rover and it broke down. And when she called me to tell me, she's only had it three year and a half. When she called me to tell me that it broke down, I was like, I owned a Hayundai Excel that I ran on literally the smell of gas.
I didn't even put any water in it. I didn't put any oil in it.
I didn't put anything in it for probably six years, and I was certain it was good.
It never blew up.
The thing was like the most reliable car I've ever owned. I think it cost me about five thousand dollars. I had that car for so long until I ran it into another car. Mine and technicality, minor, minor detail, but like how does a range how does a range Rover break? Those things tell you they're like, hey, something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong.
Seven weeks beforehand.
I've got the same questions, why is it broken?
Range Rover?
If you're listening, dms no, I had a Jeep that I bought for five grand. It was like one of my first cars. Like you just said, it just lasted forever. I didn't do anything to it. It was the oldest car. It was so so good.
And then I went and treated myself and look what happened. Anyway, that's my sack, My sweet was. We need some dating stories. We need some like good romance. I need uh you got you got blasted by an ultrasound device in front of your girlfriend and all of me above?
Can I have all over?
Nah?
My sweet was?
I went to breakfast the other day and someone bought me a cookie from Bennett Street Deairy.
It doesn't take much, does it? That's it?
I was like what I was just like it was a really kind gesture, like I was just in a line.
They brought me cookie. Now that you know me.
It was just like, you know, I'll get that for you. And I was like, that's so cute, so now I've got to pay it forward. That wasn't even trying to get my pants.
I don't know if I believe that. I feel like he was trying to get in your pants and the I'm pretty.
Bad at that.
But it was like at your number and you were like, oh, I'm number seven in line waiting for my coffee. What like my bumble video exactly?
Anyway, that was mine? You tell me yours? Okay, my suck.
Oh look, I'm gonna sound like a real complainer, but like I already told you that I felt like I was going into labor.
That was pretty sucky. That lot sucky.
Mat had gastro most of this week, which I know you guys know because you listened to last episode. Mary also had gastro. And then I did the stupidest thing. I left my phone on top of my car.
Oh, yes you did. So.
I was getting out of my car the other day and I like, I had just had lots of bags and I had Maley, and I put my phone onto my car and then I went inside and I left my car on the street. And about four hours later, I was like, oh, where's my phone. Can't find it, must be in the car. Go out to my car. This also is kind of my sweet as well. Go out to my car and there's a note on my car and somebody had found my phone sitting on top of the car.
They had left a note.
But it just meant I had to drive like several suburbs away to go pick it. Up, which is really not even a suck. It's a sweet. That is like completely a sweet. I found my phone after losing it for hours.
That's actually a very funny that you left your phone on.
The roof of your car.
I do it all the time. I have left my phone on my car for an entire day at the office and left it parked on Oxford Street and nobody took it.
That's amazing. Now you're lucky. That's actually really that's a good deed.
You've got to pass a deed on too now because they did a good deed for you. Do I have to go buy a hot guy a cookie, Yeah, and then get his number for me. Anyway, guys, that is it for this week's episode. I'm sorry that we had to do the little switcheroo this week and that we brought this out on the Thursday. But still, variety is the zest of life. Maybe this really put a spring in your step today. Variety is the zest of life?
Is that the saying I don't think it is, No, it's it's the something of life.
It's the spice of life. Well it could be the zest as well, guys.
Laura does have one other thing and that I'm just gonna reminder of that, she wants to say.
Okay, so this is like a little bit of housekeeping. This made me a bit sad, but I'm sad to end on in a low note, but I'm gonna I want to share it with you guys because I know that this is something that's happened as one of those situations in life where you just kind of don't think about how your actions might like lead to somebody else
feeling bad. Okay, Basically, we absolutely love and adore all of you guys who have been organizing meetup groups and you've been doing life on cut meetups all across Australia.
It's incredible. Nothing makes us happier.
Honestly, it feels us with so much joy. We cannot freaking wait until there's one organized in Sydney because we.
May come and crash it one day.
But I got a message from somebody who had organized a meetup in I won't say where because they don't want to make this a big thing about who didn't come or anything, but they'd organized a meet up, many people had RSBPID and then on the day of the meetup, nobody actually canceled or didn't say that they were coming, but literally nobody but one person showed up and they wrote to me and they were quite upset about it.
They felt really rejected, and like, you know, we talk a lot about ghosting on this podcast, we talk a lot about how we treat our romantic relationships.
But I think just in this instance.
There's this probably just this thought that like, oh well, like it doesn't matter if I don't RSVP or I don't cancel, because somebody else is gonna go, like they're not gonna miss just me. But obviously what's happened is that everybody's had that same thought. Nobody has messaged on the data say that they weren't gonna come, and nobody showed up.
So this is just a.
Reminder that like, we don't organize these meetups, we don't have control over them, but we really love that there's something that's inclusive where everybody feels like they're able to make friends that have common goals and they have common like ideologies, and we just really hope that everyone continues
to feel supportive in that. So if you do say that you're gonna go to a meetup and you decide that you can't go for whatever reason, life gets busy, spanner in the works, just write a message like I just send a little text I can't come.
It goes for any part of life, Like would you ever do that? If you were going to meet up your friend for coffee? Would you just not go? No, you'd see you send them a message like I don't, I don't know. I'm big on this and.
I know it's not malicious that this has happened, but just you know, let people know if you change your mind, because someone was really sad about it, and it made me really sad that like that could happen as a byproduct of this podcast. So I just wanted to bring that to everyone's tention. And I don't want to end in a low No. We want you to keep meeting up, but just make sure you go anyways.
That is it from us.
If you haven't joined the Facebook group, it's Life on Cut podcast. If you want to send us some dms for our Ask Guncut episode, or if you want to send us an accidentally unfiltered story, then please send it through to Life on Cut Podcasts, on Instagram or on I can't believe they said that, or any other random story, send us your fucking crazy story.
Oh guys, we do want to be adding some new little segments in like for us send me a little revamp come twenty twenty one.
So if you guys have any little ideas or something funny that's.
Happened to you, feel free to swing them our way, because we want to keep this evolving. We want to keep it to things that are relevant to you and things that are actually happening to you, because that's what makes everyone else feel better abound their life.
And you know the drill, tell your mom, tell you to, I'll tell your dog.
Takes this to tell your house, and tell just everybody and share the love because we love love