Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life I'm Cut. This is our second episode of the week. This is our Ask Uncut addition where we answer your deep, dunk and burning questions.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and Laura is mixed up on what show she's on.
You feel a little sexy today? You know what?
I feel a little sexy every day. Okay, I've got a question. How do you feel now that we've done the episode where you've added your pregnancy. You talked about your harry belly and your fat vagina and your nipples. Do you just feel like you're living your best life now and there's no more secrets.
Well, now that you've.
Talked about my fat vaginay again, Yeah, I'm really embracing my best.
Laugh.
Actually, I just want to say for every single pregnant or woman who has a baby out there who has messaged me over the last couple of days after we recorded that episode and released it, I was feeling really nervous and really self conscious at the fact that I had spoken so candidly about the weird stuff that happens
during pregnancy. But you guys ared that freaking best and everyone was so supportive and everyone had a good laugh at my misfortune, and so actually, so many women that wrote in saying thanks so much for just being honest because they are heavily pregnant. They're like, I thought my vagina was the only one that was getting chubby.
So I think that that was really nice. A lot of people got some help from that.
Look, nobody else came forward and said that they've been shaving their stomach, So I think I might be alone on that one.
Dude, Actually, I just have a thought, why don't you just wax it? That sounds horrible, Yeah, but then it's a lot, it stays away from longer and it's not prickly.
Right.
I'm not gonna wax my stomach, Brittany, Okay, just keep shaving it. I say it like it's sposed. You say it like it's the most offensive thing. I just suggested to you. Maybe I'll just start bleaching it so it can be long, luxurious, blonde.
Heah, you can plan it.
So, guys, this week is a Bachelor finale week. It is finally coming to an end, and maybe because it's the last episode, we get to see some love.
I am so excited I know that this has been a really tumultuous, random season, and we've had a lot to say on it.
We've also had a lot to say.
On like the editing and the way that it's kind of come together because of the whole lockdown thing. But surely, surely in the final two episodes, they're gonna stop focusing on the cattiness, the drama, the girls, the bitching, and there has to be some love story that prevails. Unlines, no one's gonna believe it.
It was actually I mean, I thought my season was bad for like prolonging the love story just between drama, but this is next level. We're literally at the last two episodes and we're still just seeing the cat fights. I actually read you know how, at the end of every single season, all these crazy rumors start to come out about what people think happens. Have you read what they've said they think happens.
Well, I read another rumor today which was that Channel ten had paid or signed a secret contract with Bella that she would stay on the show to final two, And I call absolute bullshit. I just the rumors that come out are so ridiculous.
Well, there was one today that said that he gets, he says no to Bella. He says he gets to Arena and says yes. Arena then says no because the yeah because like yeah, because you fucked me over too many times. So she says no because she still loves Bella. So then he goes back to Bella and asks Fella for love, and she says no because you love Arena as well, and I'm not second best. That's what I read today. It's not there's no way that happens, like bullshit, but I just love hearing the stories.
Well, we're gonna find out. We're gonna find out tonight. Guys.
If you've been following the Bachelor all along, then you should also jump on the Facebook group because we will have a Bachelor finale thread happening there where you can get deep down and dirty in the comment section and tell us your actual thoughts about the whole thing and how it's unveiling. But yeah, like we've said from the beginning, Britain and I don't know what happens. I mean, we always speculated that these that Bella and Arena were going.
To be the final two. But we shall see. We think we know what happens. No, we don't know what happens. We have our ideas on what we think, like every other person, but it doesn't come from anywhere. But we're not even gonna tell you anyway, because it'll just got all this fucking go y.
I'll just end up in telling you now and I'll be like, because they have insight that aside, Britt, what's been happening?
I saw you two days ago. Give me some new stuff. Oh, there's so much pressure to have an active life in two days to bring a story. I don't really have any exciting stories. I did a yoga class today that was great. Still training for my marathon. That's not great. That's it. I'm boring as batshit today. I had my twenty week scan yesterday.
Well that's a big deal.
Yeah, apparently this kid so twenty week scan. It was already bit late. We're past the twenty weeks anyway, but apparently this kid's head is measuring two weeks bigger than it should be. The ladys said it in a really nice thame. She was like, yeah, your baby's got lots of brains. Its head is two weeks ahead of where it should be. And I was like, my vagina is really sad.
Well, isn't it lucky that you have a puffy vagina for patting?
He gave me, Oh me too far, too far, Bredie.
We don't have to keep talking about it. Let's just get into the question. But I actually have a story I want to read you from a listener today. It just came in this afternoon and it is too funny not to read. And I don't want to laugh at her, but I am. We don't laugh at any of you. We laugh with you, guys. And I'm going to read this word for word. Laura Britt, I need to share a public service announcement. I'm in Melbourne. Yesterday I went for a run. I decided to go to the local oval.
I began my run, everything was gone fab and then swush, swush, swush. I'm being swooped by a magpipe. It's so close I can hear it flapping. So I try to run away. Of course I would run. I'm running, I'm weaving and I'm ducking. I run off the oval and through the car that just so happens to be locked by a low hanging chain. I jump the chain, except somehow I forgot to actually jump.
Then I fell. I felt really hard. Six hours later I had.
Left the hospital with a cast from my hand to my shoulder and a broken elbow from the impact. The pain is insane. Please be safe around Magpie's guys. I love that you sent this as a public service announcement, but also this is really sad that this has happened in Melbourne. This is like enough bad things are happening there right now. We don't need to add to it.
I'm only laughing because of the way either way she wrote it, but being she sent me a photo as well, and it's her looking Helen Opresso with this cast that literally her whole arms from her head to her hand. And it was all because she wanted to go for one run in her one hour lockdown. That is miserable.
If you thought you were having a bad twenty twenty guys, well somebody just trumped you.
Don't worry. She signed off, love always a girl with the bruised ego in a very sore arm.
I love that. Alright.
Let's get into the questions, all right. Question number one. So I've been seeing this guy for a month or so. We both like each other, but it's not really anything serious yet. He's in the army and he's offshore until the end of November, so we have been sexting a lot, as it's the only real way to communicate. My issue is that he keeps calling my vagina his dessert. The first time it was kind in context, but he literally
won't call it anything else. Now it doesn't really bother me that much, but every time he messages saying, hey, babe, can I see Can I see my dessert?
Now?
I get the ick? Help I'm getting the ick.
What kind of dessert does he think it is? That's what I want to know. Au fla or a pudding.
I don't know how. I tried to.
Put myself in this position and try to think how I would feel if someone was like, bring me that dessert.
I was like, okay, cool.
Maybe once I would be like, yeah, just roll playing and roll with it and maybe like whipped cream whatebs. But I think if it was an ongoing thing and the only way he could refer to sex or my vagina was I think I would get the ick as well.
I just start calling his dick a banana split. Just see how that goes down.
I don't even something. No one of those little lolly tiny mini banana.
It's called that.
I can understand completely why you have the ick. It's pretty icky. I think this is a pretty easy one.
Like I do, think you just have to hit the nail on the head and say, hey, babe, please don't call my vagina a dessert.
How about and maybe maybe refer to it as something else.
Maybe give him another word that he can refer to it as, because maybe he doesn't want to use the word vagina, but calling a dessert just does sound a little bit chartish. So I'm all with you on why you're getting the ick, but I really think you need to put a stop to things before the ick becomes so strong that you're like repulsed by the guy that you want to have sex with.
I also completely can see why you're getting the ick. It's not sexy. I think that it doesn't have to be a big deal either. If this was me next, I'm just thinking, next time he says it, literally, just be like, babe, look, we need to talk. This whole dessert thing is not working for me. It's really doesn't sound sexy. I don't feel sexy. We need to come up with something else. I think just make a joke of it.
They'll put it out there and be like, let's just do some.
It's just some brainstorming and come up with some other adjectives.
That's what's the weirdest thing someone's called your vagina, Britt.
No one's ever named it.
It's like that line of how to Lose a Guy in Ten Days where she keeps referring to his penises. Princess Selphia, Does Princess Selphia want to.
Come out to play?
Why do we demaculate the poor guy?
Now?
That is how to lose a guy in ten Days.
I feel like.
I've been in this position before. A guy has called my vagina a really strange thing, but I can't remember. Look, I've suppressed the trauma. I'm with Britt. I think just make a joke about it, let him know in a lighthearted way that you don't want him to be calling it that. And I think you really do need to address this before you catch some serious ick. Guys, go back and listen to that episode if you haven't already, And Yeah, you want to enjoy sex, you want to be thinking about dessert.
I'm going to put a little poll up on our Insta stories and I want you guys to write in the weirdest, funniest best things that someone your partner or a lover or one night or whoever, has written to you and called your VIJJ. So I want names, and I'm gonna read about next. It's it's not so I know what to call mine. It's just because I want to laugh and read them the suspense.
And also, if your partner has a really good name for your vagina, maybe throw that into the ring as well, so we can let this listener know, like give her a bit of feedback, like one that's a.
Little bit sexy, but also like like a spy, like you can have the conversation about your vagina and public in front of people, Like maybe it's Sally and you're like, hey, should we should we get home? Sally might be waiting, you know, like you could make it so people don't know you're having sex talk.
I thought you meant like give it a name, like I don't know, pussy spy or something else.
What are you talking about? Anyway, let's go on to the next question. Okay, question number two. I reckon we've covered that one. I need some advice about a situation that has happened recently, I was speaking to a guy for around three and a half months and we went on about five or so dates. I felt like he was really interested because we messaged every day. He was always keen. He was always asking me questions, but he
did take hours to respond sometimes, which frustrated me. About a month ago, I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he hadn't really thought about it, and he asked what I was looking for. I wasn't really keen to do casual for ages, so I just told him that straight up. He said he was happy to see where things were going. He messaged me the next day after our date, and we continued talking every day. I assumed this was a good sign, as if he
was freaked out, he wouldn't have messaged back right. Three weeks later, I asked to see him because we hadn't seen each other since. He said he was too busy. A couple of days later, he didn't reply to my last message, and he still hasn't since. Have I been ghosted? I want to answer this already. Have I been ghosted? Should I message him again? I want an explanation, but I don't want to chase him. If he's not keen. Oh just leave it, girl, you've been ghosted.
Just leave it.
No, Like, straight up, this is the definition of ghosted.
He sounds like a person that has pretty weak character. That's like, this is a big generalized statement. Obviously I don't know the guy, but I'm only going off what you've written in It sounds like he's someone who's very conflict avoidant, and when you have brought up the conversation of something more serious, he's gone, oh, I don't know.
I hadn't really thought about it. I don't think you date someone for three and a half months without thinking about it either either end of the spectrum and without him saying, oh, I don't want something more serious. He was able to say what he thought you wanted to hear and then just fade away into the distance and take zero responsibility for you being upset. He didn't have to deal with the conflict that could arise from having
an honest conversation with you face to face. So I think that he's approached this in a really really cowardly way. Is it an uncommon way?
No?
Loads of guys and girls do this, But I think it's pretty clear cut that you've been ghosted, and I think that after you know, three and a half months, But in that three and a half months, only having five physical dates, I don't think that you'll necessarily get the sort of closure or conversation from him, even if you reach out to him again that you deserve and that you want.
I have been in this situation recently.
You know that.
A few weeks ago, we made the joke if you listen, if you're a longtime listener, I was like, yeah, ive seen this guy. Five days he ghosted me.
I was like, Brittany, he's got a boyfriend.
And then the next episode, I was like.
What the fuck did he go? Casper? His name was Cass.
We put up those missing person posters, guys, and we could not find him.
Okay, So just to update that story, he did end up messaging me like a few days later, and in his eyes, he hadn't ghosted me. He just wanted some time with the boys. And I was like, well, that that is not how we work and that's not how a relationship progresses, and you didn't actually tell me that, So of course I'm gonna think he goes with me anyway.
I think that that's a cheap cop out though as well. Like I think, for a guy, if you've been texting every single day and then all of a sudden, they don't text you at all for a week, no notice, they can call it whatever the hell they want to under the sun and say, oh, I didn't realize that you'd be offended.
They're not stupid.
They're avoiding conflict, taking responsibility for their actions.
They know it's ghosting.
Well, then he started gaslighting me.
He was like, you're overreacting, you're imagining this, and I was like, hang on, I have a podcast on this, buddy.
I know a red flag when I see one, pal, I know exactly.
What you're doing. Laura told me.
You're lighting makes this fills me with joy. Guys, no, but look, it sucks to hear it. But when not here to sugarcoat it, you definitely have been ghosted. I don't think you're going to gain anything from reaching out to him again. You've already reached out and he hasn't written back to you. And the thing that you need to realize here is you spent months with him messaging
you every day. You know he's capable of it. You know he's got your number, you know he knows where you live, he knows everything about you, He has access to you. He has now chosen not to so in this situation, it's pretty early. Still, I don't think it matters why he's doing that. The fact is he's treating you like that. He's made a decision to a he doesn't want to be with you, and B he doesn't want to respectfully tell you that. He's taking a cheap way and nasty way and a hurtful way out. And
that's what you need to realize in this situation. You're better than that. You deserve more than that. And even if he does respond to you and tell you the reason he doesn't want to be with you, that's not going to make you feel better. Yeah, I totally agree. What is your opinion on.
The part of that question where the listener had said that he would sometimes take take hours to write back and that would really enjoy her, Like, how do you feel about that? Because I know I've had really conflicted feelings when I've been seeing or dating a guy, and sometimes he's taken like a really prolonged time to write back, But yet we're still in quite constant conversation.
I don't think you can weigh too heavily on that, to be honest, because I know sometimes even if I really like someone, sometimes I'm so caught up at work, I'm like flat out that I physically cannot get back to my phone to message until hours later all that night, when I finally sit down, and I might still really really like them. I don't think you can wagit too
heavily on that. It's a different thing. If maybe you're seeing that he's online on WhatsApp and Instagram doing other stuff and he hasn't written back to a question or something like that, that's different. But if he's literally in his nine to five finance job and you know, he messages you four hours later at five point thirty when he knocks off, I think that's okay.
Yeah, I totally agree. I do think that there's this unrealistic expectation that people are online and in contact all the time. I think that we need to have some perspective that people do work, people do have busy lives, so there are times when people are legitimately too busy to be on text all day having like a running conversation of what they're doing. The only thing that I think,
which you've already highlighted, but it is. If they are on WhatsApp, you can see they're online, you can tell that they're talking to other people and being super socially active, but they're choosing not to talk to you. I do think that that's a really clear indication of where someone's priority lies. And I think if those red flags are displaying themselves early on in a relationship when you should be a priority of conversation, then that's a big like.
Abort mission. Yeah, and it might just be me, Laura, I don't know how you feel about this, and might be the way I look at things and my perspective. But to me, if somebody doesn't want to be with me, if they're not choosing me, it just doesn't matter. And I don't feel the need to sit down and say, well, tell me what's wrong with me, tell me what you didn't like about me, because what are you gonna do then go and change those things to suit that person?
That it's not gonna work anyway. Six months later, when the real authentic you comes out, because that's who you are, you're gonna be back in the same situation. So for me, I don't really feel it's different in a long term relationship, justification closure, that's different five dates in if he fucks off, fuck him off a man, that's my I don't know.
I just think if someone is so, I just amount a point in my life where I have had every type of relationship, every type of dating, every type of incident, Volcano, Lola, Derby's heartbreaks.
I had it all.
I've experienced the whole sectrum. So like, I feel like this comes from a place of experience. But if this this early on, he's making you feel this shitty, which you obviously are, forget him. There's gonna be someone better. He'll probably contact you down the track. He'll probably slide back in a few months. And I hope you're strong enough to be like, hey, I got myself a new boy.
And also, for as long as you're putting time and energy into someone who's only half invested in your relationship, like after three and a half months, you know, and you can make a decision as to whether you want something that's more serious, and you obviously did that and he hasn't stepped up to the plate. But don't waste any more time because you will end up being in a situationship that doesn't eventuate anywhere, that doesn't make you happy and makes you feel crazy like that's where this
is going to end up heading. So I feel like we've covered this, and I hope that we've given you a little bit of the closure that you're looking for. Maybe it's not in as nice as terms or as nice I mean, i'd love to be able to say, yeah, it's gonna be fine, it's all gonna work out. I think you deserve better, and I think you definitely deserve to have been treated better at the ending of this relationship as well.
And I do one more thing, I guess.
So I am trying to wrap it.
Up, I know, but I get so passionate about these I don't want you to think that I'm not being sympathetic or anything, because I am. And I know how much it sucks. I don't know how much it hurts. And the feeling of rejection, whether that's two weeks in one dating, whether they don't even respond once on like bumble or whatever, the feeling of rejection really really hurts. But you need to close that chapter and open another one.
And the second, I promise you, the second you meet someone else and start chatting and vibing and having a good time again with a new connection and realizing that someone else is making you a priority. I promise you will feel better about this situation. You always feel shitty in a situation until something else makes you feel good, or until you make yourself feel good. Well, I mean not someone else, something else. So anything in your life
that's going to bring you up. Go for surf, go for run, meeting your friend, go kiss a boy on the dance floor that is not possible because of COVID. I was like, what twenty twenty are you living in Brittany?
Magpie girl over here is like hearing this going, I'm sorry, what are you doing in New Stop Way?
Else a magpie girl?
All right?
Question number three? Then this is our last question. Guys, you know this is our short sharp episode.
Question number three. I mean a loving relationship. He's by far the most supportive, fun loving guy I have ever been with. However, I have heard slash Bin told I wonder if she's talking about us multiple times that the warning signs in the beginning of a relationship is what ends and affects the relationship down the track. In the beginning, I found him so annoying, which initially made me question the relationship, and it was a very slow burn. Let
me tell you, he is aware of this. It's now been almost two years, and some days he's so annoying and gets so frustrated and so mad at him, and then that caused TIFFs all throughout the day. Is this an orange flag? I'm not calling it a red flag because he's not doing anything nearly as bad as cheating, for example. So is this an orange flag? Or am I just being silly?
This is such a good question because I don't think that there's well I mean, maybe there is, but I feel like anyone in long term relationships get annoyed by their partners. Like I mean, I think that being annoyed is a very normal thing from time to time, finding your partner annoying. However, the fact that you felt him very annoying from the get go and you told him that and he's very aware of it, I find it very funny.
And also it's two years deep and you're still very annoyed with him.
It's really hard to know and to give you advice on this without knowing what he's doing that's annoying. You know, maybe part of his personality is that he behaves in a really childlike way. But also maybe one of the things that you like about him and the fact that your relationship is so fun and the fact that you find him so funny, is also the fact that he
is a bit childish. And so I think that there are some situations in life where you have to take the good with the bad and you have to love the person that you're with for all.
Their weird ass quirks. I don't think it's a red flag. I don't think it's an orange flag.
I just think it's one of those things that you can work on in your relationship, and also patience is something that you can work on in yourself.
Okay, so I'm not sure I agree, But having said that, I haven't been in a long term relationship in a very long time. I find out annoying all the time.
I think in a good way, though, Like I mean, I love him to death.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I love that he's such a fool, But also sometimes when I'm not in a mood for it, I'm like, why are you behaving like you're seven?
You are thirty three, you have a child? What level of annoyance. Do you think you have with Matt in a weekly basis and be on a daily basis? It depends on the day.
Twenty three hours.
No, Like, I don't think it's normal to be irritated by your partner constantly. I think if there's this constant state of irritation, then something is wrong. But I do think that, you know, it is normal to go through periods where you find your partner being irritating to you, or maybe you're not in the mood to have such a jovial or lighthearted or whatever it is. I mean, it's really hard without knowing the exact specifics around what
it is that she finds annoying. But I do think that there is also like a level of patients that comes to play as well. Like, I mean, I know that when I'm finding that annoying, it's because my patience levels are really low and I'm irritated by things more easily. So maybe if this is just isolated to him, and you know that it's you are a stable and constant then maybe there is more of a problem. But I still think that it doesn't have to be an orange flag.
My only sort of question query here is that I think in a long term relationship, like Laurie just said, it is normal to start to get annoyed by things, and that's that's for a multitude of reasons. You're tired, your stress, your patience is thin.
Yeah, and you often, just like you often just like take your daily irritations and annoyances out on your partner because they're the closest to you. I mean, it's not fair, and you love them the most. But I know when I'm irritated, I kind of end up taking it out on Matt And you know, I find the things about him that I normally absolutely love, which is the fact that he's so silly, I find it annoying.
But my only worry here is that she starts by saying, has literally been since day one. She's like, I, he annoyed me from day one, and she's like.
That, That's why I'm a bit perplexed.
I'm like, well, why, I don't know, why is this relationship continue for two years? She even said it was like a slow burn, and she queried whether she should even be with him.
It's a bit of it.
It's like a little like I don't know, why don't we call it like beij flag. Maybe I can call it a salmon color flag, like salmon.
Why did you get over that in the first place? Like, if you found him a little bit irritating in the first place, what was it that changed your mind? What is it that made you want to get into relationship with him? What were the great things that you found in his personality that made you go, actually, I want to be with this man for two and a half years.
I also think that before you just chuck in your relationship and blame everything on the other person, I think that sometimes we need to check our annoyances and why we're annoyed by something, and what it is that person's doing is actually big in the grand scheme of things. Is it actually affecting our day? Are we trying to be too controlling of the situation? Are we projecting what the way we want that person to behave onto them?
Like?
There are a lot of other questions that come into play here, And I do honestly think that sometimes we can check our own behavior and check our own internal annoyances before we project that onto someone else.
It's a good point. I think you can go back to the start and think about like Laurd just said, if he annoyed you so much, why did you get
into a relationship with him? And I say this because I want you to go back and think, did you settle for that relationship and try to make it work when you didn't think it was ideal because you were at a point in your life where you really wanted a relationship and you want a company, you might have felt down, or did you decide to put the annoyance aside and date him because he's so fucking funny, he's so kind, he treats you well, what were the other reasons?
If you can go back and think that you think you were just in a really bad place and you just wanted a company, then you need to probably have a little reconsider of if this is still the right thing for you. If you think he's an amazing person in every other aspect and that's why you're dating him, then just chat to him. If his annoyance is because he's a child, or if his annoyance is because you don't think it cleans or helps or does anything else,
that's pretty easy to sit down and have a chat about. Like, look, baby, this really fucking frustrates me when I come home, You've been home all day and the shit everywhere.
Oh there's no dinner.
So I think you just need to nail down what the frustration is. And that's why it's hard for l Or and I to answer this properly. But nail down what the annoyance is, what the frustration is, and that's how you're going to decide what path are you going to take. I think I just want to add one more thing to this as well. Our wrapaps are terrible.
I just want to add one more thing in that if you are feeling a little bit annoyed by something that he's done, and then that is transpiring into bickering that happens throughout the day and you being angry, I think communication is a really big part of this, and like brit has said, like you need to have a conversation, sit down, explain how you're feeling.
You've said that he was.
Aware early on in the relationship that there were things that annoyed you. Maybe he's kind of forgotten and just gotten back into like an old habit or something. But you have also said at the beginning of this and something I want to like really reiterate that's really important and one of the most important things is that you've said that you're in a loving relationship. He's supportive and fun and one of the most fun, loving guys that
you've ever been with. So there are obviously aspects of his personality that you adore that you love being with. And nobody out there in the whole wilde world is going to be completely perfect and not piss you off at any point in time, excepting.
Laura saw me leading to She was like, I know, I know what this joke is. I know where it's coming from. You cheap thrill the end, full stop.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk today.
You might have work on that rabot guys. That is Ask Guncut Therapy Thursday. Thank you for tuning in, Thanks for lending us your ears and pulling up with us. We love bringing this every single week. So quick housekeeping, I mean we do every week. Subscribe, leave a review five stars.
That Also, if you have a question for next week's Ask Uncut, you can send it through to our Instagram page or you can send it through at Life Uncut podcast on Facebook proof.
They are your two options. And don't forget we want to hear about what your partner or lover or whoever has named your vagina perfect. What a lovely way to finish the episode and share love.
We loved. They were cut on all their company. They were cutt of a day, their day, the BA