Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and thanks for coming back this week.
I don't know if I've actually mentioned this, since we have decided to start recording back together. Our recording takes place in my bedroom, So welcome to where the magic happens.
Get the prime seat. I get to sit on the bed. Brittany's sitting on the bed. I'm sitting on a chair on a tiny, dingy little table in the corner. We really are grassroots. We have some gooey gouey brownie in front of us, and usually we have a red wine, but we don't today. Brittany rocked up today and she brought some homemade brownies. And normally I would crack myself a bottle by now, but you know, it's Monday, so.
I just do it every Monday. I decided it's time for a tea, guys. I got my lemon grass and ginger tea here and feeling zen.
Laura messaged me when I was on my way over and she's like, babe, do you want me to make you a tea? She was like, are you fucking sick? I'm sorry, Are you dying? What is wrong with you? Trying to be a new person.
I've decided that drinking every day in isolation is probably not the best thing to do.
No, and especially because I think we're on our way out of isolation, so we probably need to start raining it back in, Like I need to start pretending like I'm going to speak to people outside in public, because the only people I speak to are Brittany and Matt and Marley and Marley. That's it. Marley's eleven months. She has great chat.
So we have reopened the shop for consultation appointments. We don't worry, guys, We're doing all the one point five All the rules apply. But we reopened our store and I had a consultation with a customer who came in to get something, and for the first five minutes of talking to him, mouth was moving and I could hear words coming out of my mouth, though my brain was like, is this how you interact with people?
Is this? How is this? Am I doing this right? Someone help? Or did his life jacket? Was he talking back to you?
He had also grown a mustache, which just makes me think that everyone's in the same boat.
Well, I had a moment today. I had like a moment, a Laura moment. I was doing emails all day. I was like, what went terribly wrong in your life? Please tell me? I was doing emails all day and it was a business email and I was just typing so quickly and just pressing sen onto the next email, typing so quickly, and I signed tried to sign off warmest regards, and I don't know how it did this, but it wrote hugging always, hugging always, Brittany, and I was like,
hugging always at the best of times is bad. But in isolation, when you're not supposed to be touching people, thinking who is she? You're like, I am a rule a breaker. I'm here for the curls. So I actually said that. I didn't even follow it up with their like, didn't mean to say that. I just was like, man, maybe you'll make his day. Leave it. I like it, Embrace it. What else has been happening in your world?
I actually did get to go to Port Macquarie this weekend, so I went to see my parents because finally we're allowed to and I haven't seen them since Christmas, so nearly five well five months basically, so it was really really nice. We just stayed inside, We did all the things were supposed to do. We had a Mother's Day brunch, we had French toast in the backyard, and it was just really nice. And speaking of Mother's Day, Happy first Mother's Day. Do you know what being a mum is? Great?
I highly recommend it. Yes, I really like it.
There was a time, only really a few years ago, where I guess I just wasn't really sure whether or not I would end up ever having.
Kids at all.
It seems so hard, and everyone always talks about how hard it is, and everyone talks about how tiring it is and how you're never gonna have a life anymore, and how you have to give up everything that you love, and it is all those things.
I was gonna every single one of them.
That's exactly what it is. No, but it's it's the best thing ever. And I think that often people you kind of forget to tell other potential new mums how great it is. And yesterday was just a reminder of how incredibly lucky I am. And another reason why I was incredibly lucky is because I had an hour and a half bath and I went to bed at nine pm, and I was so so happy. Channing Tatum could have come in and asked me if I wanted a lap dance, and I.
Would have said, you know what, Channing Britney lives just up the road. I am fine, I'm gonna have a nap. Thank you. You actually would have about Tason, Mamala. He was your whole past.
I think I was still take my sleep. It was heaven, Absolutely heaven. I had a bottle of rose during the day.
I really love Mother's Day. I think we should do it more often. I knew something was going on because I messaged you and never heard back. This is why I'm having a tea now. Guys. It was a real raver. So that's the real reason you're having a teach had a bottle of rose yesterday. I get it.
As you know, we are always always talking about too hot to handle.
But I really do think that this is going to be the last episode after this. It's fucking band, We're done. We keep saying that, but then they keep dropping these bombs and we have to mention them.
Look, unless Francesca and Harry get married on Netflix special, this is well and truly the last conversation we're gonna have about it.
Okay, this is why I want to talk about it. So catching everybody up to speed. Harry and Francesca apparently got engaged on a zoom call on their reunion chat a few nights ago, and I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know whether to believe it or not. We just Laura and I just watched the little clip together.
What do you think All the media outlets are reporting on this proposal as though it's real, But I just want to say, I think we have reached peak isolation. When somebody gets down on their knees with a ring pop and proposes over zoom. Really months from two hundred klmeters away, we've really really hit some sort of peak isolation.
Now, guys, it's time to get out. I hope for them it's I hope they're happy. I hope it's amazing and they're together forever. But part of me just is really questioning the sincerity. But straight away he came out and said, oh, I'd love, like, you know, basically love Netflix to pick this bad boy up. It'll be huge if they do sort of thing.
So for anybody who has followed the whole journey too hot to handle a Francesca and Harry. They got together, they broke up as soon as the show finished, and then Harry dated somebody else from the series for eight months.
Okay, sorry, we got.
Our facts right. To make sure is this completely factual? We don't want to throw anyone under the bus. Francesca and Harry have only been back together for four months, and he has now proposed over zoom on Netflix with a ring pop. Some may say that it is not the most sincere of proposals, but not us. We're here for true love, guys, because we love love. But she didn't look overly.
Thrilled, did she. She didn't even move her face. He just sort of said, like, should we do this? And then it pans to her and she's looking at him with the most unenthusiastic look on her face. I don't know if I can believe this, but I don't think it's good. Well. Look, I also read something else really funny today that I wanted to tell you about. I'm ready. I read about a woman in the UK who aha has come up with her own way to defend herself
from coronavirus and actually it's even just coronavirus. It's all sort of illnesses. This is this is her vitamin. What she does is three times a week? Is it the vitamin D? Three times she has a shot of her partner. Doesn't even have to be her partner, she says, her partner sperm. He sold her into that. He's like, hey, babe, I have the antidote for coronavirus. Come on down to detail. Because she she will put in her smoothies. She freezes them into ice cubes because they live apart, so she
can have them at a later date. What are you reading? And then she goes on to tell you that it doesn't even have to be your partner sperm. You can donate. You can have a friend donate it. Where are you getting this information from? It was on the news BuzzFeed or something on Stlly magazine sealed section but even exist still Oh my god. No.
But when I was sixteen, I frot that I really think that you need to question where you're getting your news articles from.
Brittany. I want to literally googled weird news because you always made me bring something funny. I googled weird news. There you go. You all know it. People don't come making me say it. People are not coming to this podcast because they want to know what's current in the world of news, that's for sure. Speaking of what else is current, though, I do have a recommendation if you haven't read the book Michelle Obama's Becoming. There is a
Netflix special that's come out. I'm gonna say if you haven't read the book, because I don't think the Netflix special will be as good as the book, but I quite enjoyed it, so I'm going to recommend the Netflix special. I've just thought she's such.
An incredibly empowering woman, and she talks about her journey from her childhood through being the first Lady and living in the White House, and how she brought her mum to live in the White House with them, and she talks about the campaigns and the hardship that they faced together and also the media scrutiny that they faced, and it's just a really, really beautiful and compelling documentary about how and what she's doing for other African American women and young girls in the States.
She's an incredible woman. There's this one part in the Netflix series where she talks about how her and Obama. They got up and they were doing a like a press they were talking to Congress, and just as Obama got up to stage, she gave him a fist bump. And then Fox News went and they created cartoons saying that it was like a terrorist fist bump. And it's insane that.
During our lifetime that that level of defamation is allowed, and it's kind of comes under.
Freedom of speech. It's crazy.
And so she talks about all that, She talks about what impact that had on her mental health and how that affected her as a person, and I just think it's a really really empowering and beautiful story. So that is my recommendation guys becoming on Netflix. I have a recommendation also, Laura. Mine is not as becoming as yours, but it's actually from you guys. A lot of you guys on the Facebook page wrote in and suggested we
watch normal people. So I'm a little bit behind the times, but the sounds of it, though not as much becoming, but a lot more coming since apparently there is apparently, Laura, I mean.
You didn't pay my joke, but I'll pay yours.
Also, I read that there's something crazy like forty one minutes of sex scenes in twelve episodes.
I'm a bit late to the party. It has been recommended for a while. I just haven't gotten around to watching it because I was so deep into money heist. Anyway, watched it. I have loved it. I'm one episode of finishing. But I'm gonna be controversial here whilst I'm hooked and I have enjoyed the whole show. I'm not going to spoil anything for people that haven't watched it. But there comes a moment about halfway to three quarters the way through where you're like, okay, recurring theme. I get it.
It's frustrating, you like, move on. It's so obvious what should be happening, and they don't do it. And for me, it was too much of a recurring theme. And I'm like, Okay, I'm frustrated now. So I wonder if anyone else thought that, or just me. You can't really contribute, Laurie looking at me very perplex because you haven't seen it. But yeah, there is so much sex in it, but it's not in your face, crude, rough sex. It's almost like you don't even notice it's happening. It's just like part of it.
Well, I have seen Okay, I haven't watched it yet, but I have seen a lot of articles come out about it, and a lot of articles talking about how they're the most beautiful, delicate, delicious sex scenes must have been filmed or directed by a woman that's ever been shown to be fair.
The actors are brilliant, The sex scenes are done really well. They don't make you uncomfortable. You know how sometimes you can watch scenes like that and you're really uncomfortable. It's not I can definitely recommend it. So if those of you that haven't watched it, throw it in. It's one series. It's not gonna hurt you.
Okay, So before we move on to the episode, britt are your face?
What do you want to know about it? Why are you so red? What's going on over here? I had I did like a little at home skin peel. I was wondering when you would notice if you look really close, it's like little flaking off bits. Have had a peel? Have you ever had a peel? I've only had one extremely hectic peel where I thought I looked like a burn's victim and I was never going to be able to leave the house again. I've never done that again. Yeah, I've had one of those. I'll never do it again. No,
Actually you should try this, Laura. It's from a girl that I've always seen skin associate, but she sends these pills to your home. So all these people that can't go and get their skin looked after and skin peels, so she sent it to my house. You put it on at home, takes you five seconds. You leave it on for half an hour and that's it. It's just like a skin rejuvenation. So that's what you're witnessing. You're a caterpillar and soon you're going to become a beautiful butterfly.
You're just in the chrysalis right now. You're not going to recognize me through who are you? It was this fourteen year old girl sitting across on my bed. Things are getting weird, guys.
Well, I did have one more thing that happened to me this week before we get into our accidentally unfiltered. It's definitely not that exciting, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. So on Saturday, we went and saw my mom. We did like our Mother's Day on Saturday with her.
And we cooked a keche. We took the keiche down and did you make that fiche? Yeah, it was like Marley's dinner. We took keish down for Marley, like you know, so she had something to eat. Anyway, had a really nice day down in Woongong. Everyone knows it's been like nice and warm over the weekend. Lovely and hot, hot cars, warm spaces. M I remember that. So we left Wollongong.
We packed everything back up into the car and then this morning, Monday, I got into the car and Matt had left the keish sitting on the ground.
I can see that coming a mile away. Caiche just sitting on the floor of my car, which smelt like an old man's fast. Oh my god, that's disgusting.
It was the worst ending to my mother's day weekend. I then had to drive to work today in a car that smelt like farts.
So just like every day every day that MAT's in the car. Yes, should we jump into an accidentally unfiltered Yes, let's come on, razzle dazzle this and get into show business town. Okay, accidentally unfiltered. For those of you that are new, it's literally just your most embarrassing stories, the stories where you wish you could bury yourself and die and never see anyone in the world again. We've all got one of those. We've all got them, and we love to hear them. So you guys running to us
and then we read them out anonymously, of course. So if you have a good one, please send it in to us. But this week, I know there's a bit of a recurring theme of people sending messages to someone they weren't supposed to go to. But I love that because they're the funniest ones, and you know that when you press that send button you can't unsend it.
They're also the most relatable ones as well, because we've literally all done it.
We all do it, We've all done it. Okay, So this girl has gone out and had a one night stand. He's can get a girl. He's come back to her house pre isolation. This was I have had sex one two times whatever. The next morning he wakes up and they swap numbers, he leaves. She goes to message her friend. You know, how was last night? Would you end up doing blah blah blah. Her friend writes to her, So, how is a sex like you? And it's way more exciting than mine? Tell me everything she writes, quote, Oh,
the sex was terrible. He couldn't make me come, he couldn't do anything. His dick was flaccid, it was barely hard. It was awful. Oh. She presses send, and who do you think? She sends it to. I hope you're not gonna say him, But she sends it to this poor guy. She literally writes to him saying how bad the sex was, now, how he couldn't get hard, how he couldn't get her off, She said all these things. Then she's realized, so she said to a friend, oh my god, I've just sent
that to him. What do I do? Like, how do I get out of this? So she's like, I can't. Really, I'm just gonna pretend I'm joking. So she wrote back, har had just joking. He writes, I don't think you were on no rip you. I can't even laugh at that because it makes me feel so bad for him, Like there's a part of my heart that is just like I can't I feel I feel for him because nobody wants, no woman or man, no one wants to receive that message.
But also maybe maybe he can't, maybe he like had some CERD performance issues, or maybe that's gonna like really hurt him in a place.
Where I mean, I think he was nervous. I also think you're written too much into this wood. We're not going to go into his deep dark issues. This guy's now in therapy for the next six months of his life. So of course she never heard from him again.
Sounds like that's a really clear cut and quick way to get rid of a guy. How to lose a guy in one text message and truly alienate him.
Oh my god, that's hideous. Did I ever tell you about the time where this is really mean? This is actually so mean. I was really young when I sent the text on the toilet. Yeah, don't you tell that? Tell you no, you told me, but need to hear.
Okay, So I was pretty young and my best friend at the time was a guy, and we'd been like really good friends for a long time, and then out of the blue. I don't know why I told you
I was sitting on the toilet. It's really not imperative to the story about So I'm sitting on the toilet and he texts me, and he has professed that he has feelings for me and that he wants to take me on a date, and I then wrote back to my girlfriend, who I was also texting at the same time on the toilet and wrote, We're gonna call the guy David because I can't I don't want to say
his real name. I was like, wrote back to my girlfriend and I was like, oh my god, David just asked me out on a date, as if I would ever go out with him, and I sent it to David, Oh, instant violin.
This horrible. It's a horrible thing that happened when you told me that. Actually that broke my heart more than the penis one, because this is your best friend and he was my best friend. But also it kind of was a little bit like it wasn't because I don't find him attractive. It was like, you're like my brother, Yeah, my brother just asked to date me. And it got real weird, real real quick. But he obviously doesn't think
he's your brother. No, he wouldn't have asked you. And then what happened to that friendship.
I mean, we are from Wollongong, you might be brother and sister. I'll got nothing against the gong our bloody love it down there, all right. I'm actually trying to get Matt to move back there and buy a house with meat.
But he won't. You haven't told me that. Sorry, you're welcome, you're just breaking up with me now. Like this, houses are a little bit cheaper down there. Times are tough. Sydney is expensive. But don't worry. If isolation has taught us anything, we can do this via zoom. I don't want to. I'm gonna have to veto this move. Okay, okay, all right, guys, so it's time to get into the episode. Now.
We did throw it out in the Facebook group earlier this week that in this episode we're going to be talking about revenge bodies. If you don't know what a revenge body is or a breakup pod some people might like to call it, it's when you lose a hell of a lot of weight or get in shape or have a bit of a transformation post breakup. And now
we know that breakups can be pretty complex. There are many different reasons as to why a breakup may happen, but the whole concept of this breakup bod or this revenge body comes about as like getting fit in order to make your ex jealous, Like that is the motivating factor, the reason why this conversation has come to light is because Adele posted a photo last week which garnered so much media attention. It was just insane and it was almost too big to not touch on it in this podcast.
Adele has thirty six point nine million followers, and she posted a pretty innocent photo of herself at her thirty second birthday party standing in front of a flower arbor, just hands out, looking happy, and the caption below it was also pretty innocent. The caption below said, thank you for the birthday love. I hope you're all staying safe and sane during this crazy time. I'd like to thank all of our first responders and essential workers who are
keeping us safe while risking their lives. You are truly our angels. Twenty twenty Okay, thanks by, I love the sign of okay, thanks bye, And that was it. But what garnered all the attention around this post it wasn't about her message. It wasn't even really about the photo. It was about the fact that she has lost a hell of a lot of weight. And I think it's important to mention that the reason why this had become such an interesting topic of conversation is because Adele has
recently gone through a breakup. In twenty nineteen, she broke up from her husband, who she has a son with. There has been a lot of chitter chatter in the media about Adele having a glow up and about this being her revenge body. I hate the term revenge body, and I no brid hates the term revenge body for what it is. So we thought we would talk about whether or not it can be a positive thing to get a revenge body, or whether or not it's always a negative thing.
It really is a term coined by the media. I don't think as a population or as a society, if it wasn't so in our face in the media about having a revenge body and showing him what he's missing. I don't think as individuals it would be on our mind as much. But we have people like Chloe Kardashian, who, for what it's worth, had great intentions, but she started a show called Revenge Body, and I mean the Kardashians are followed are They're the most followed family in the world.
So all of a sudden, we have the whole world jumping on board with this idea that you're going to go through a breakup and the best thing you can do is strip yourself back and get skinny, fit and hot to show. That's essentially what the show's about too. It's like it's a glow up to show your ex what you're missing out on. Yeah, and she does have
good intentions. She gets people in to dress them and do their hair, and it's to make them feel good, but it definitely has this aspect of look what I can do without you.
So this reality TV show that BRIT's talking about, but it had three seasons, it was pretty polarizing. There were a lot of people who loved it and loved the sentiment behind it, but then there was all so a pretty big movement of people, people who live in the body positive space. We're very against the show because of the underlying premise of the show, which is you will be happier if you are thinner or fitter or skinnier.
And I think that that's what we need to be really careful of getting caught up in when we talk about our body's post breakup and the way we look post breakup, because it's already such a shitty time. You already feel so down and so negative about yourself that by making your weight intrinsic to your value as a person and that that becomes your currency. It's a very negative headspace to get into after a breakup.
It is so normal as humans to want your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, ex partner to see how well you're doing without them, Like that is so normal. We all love the idea that our ex will be stalking us on social media and basically regret ending the relationship. We hope that they're going to look on our social media be like, oh my god, look how hot they are. I want
them back. But there comes a fine line of whether you are doing this for the right reasons for your mental health and your sanity, or are you compromising your mental health because you're so obsessed with this idea of I will do whatever it takes to my mental health and my physical health to get this person who doesn't even want me to notice me.
And like, I do understand that sometimes this can roll into a positive And when we put this out to the Facebook group, we got very mixed information back from you guys. Like some people had said that they had lost weight gotten into shape after a breakup and it had been really really positive for their mental health because they threw themselves into exercise, they threw themselves into being
productive and really like focusing on themselves. And then we had people who also came from the other end of that spectrum saying that it was a very negative headspace where because they were so stressed, they weren't eating. One girl did write it on the Facebook group, and I found this really interesting and something I think is really important to touch on. And she said that she did lose a load of weight after her breakup, but she's made it very clear that that weight loss was not
from a healthy place. She was extremely stressed and a result of that stress was that she wasn't eating. And I think that happens to a lot of people when you're heartbroken. For some people, eating is like the last thing you want to do. It's like feels like the one thing you can control.
And she said that even though she was in such a dark and negative headspace, she was receiving the most compliments she had ever received. Everyone was saying how amazing she looked. And it made me think, you know, congratulating someone on weight loss post breakup can really just perpetuate this negative cycle, like maybe their weight loss isn't born from a healthy, constructive place.
Maybe it is born from stress. So by reinforcing and telling someone how good they look and how better they look now or prettier they look now, just really reinforces that their value as a person is inherently tied to weight and the way they look.
I think what's happening now is and I think what the world is starting to notice is that women. It's like the media owns women's bodies. Whatever the articles about they mentioned something about their body. So whether that's a post breakup, whether that's just they're out at an event, whether it's after or before a wedding or whatever it is, it's always brought back to the woman's body. But the men,
nothing's ever said. There's never an article on look at this man's revenge body after a breakup with a woman. There's never anything like that. And I think so for me, I'm really lucky in the sense of I've been through some horrific breakups and really stressful times in my life, but I haven't ever been one of those people that stops eating as a result of that, or I've never
felt the need to get skinnier. I've definitely had issues with my body confidence, but I'm lucky that I can talk myself out of that before I get to a place physically that makes me ill. But in relation to what I just said, I remember after The Bachelor finished. So what I do is I throw myself into fitness and exercise. And it's not to get skinny. It's because everyone knows I love it. Mentally, it's what helps me get through any situation, helps me deal with stress. So
I just started getting back into exercise. I'd spent three months in the Batch mansion doing nothing and eating, and now I've got all this time. So I started exercising every day and it was getting me through my stress and I felt great. My body definitely really really toned up.
I got fit, but I didn't lose weight as such. Yeah, but every article that came out about me was and this is months down the track, and it's like Brittany showing Honeybanger what he's missing, Brittany's revenge body, Britney's post break up body, and I was like, what, Like, this person isn't even on my radar or my mind in this situation. I'm literally just exercising in my life, in
my normal day. I don't even think about Nick. The photo I've just posted has nothing to do with Nick, but the media that's all they think about when they look at a woman's body.
Well, I think that's another reason why the concept of revenge body, literally as a label and as a word, it has such negative connotations for two reasons. One of them is because it means that, like your inherent worth
is all tied up in how much you weigh. But secondly, if you have lost weight as a really positive outlet, because you have thrown yourself into exercise and that's been great for your mental health and you're taking time and caring about yourself, someone referring to it as a revenge body means the only reason why you're doing it is to get back at someone. So it takes away something that could be positive and makes it about the man again,
which I find so frustrating. Just going back on what you said about how no one talks about a man's revenge body, one of the things that we kind of touched on was that a guy can get so jacked post breakup, he can get super fit, look delicious, and the only thing that you'll ever see in the media as well or like in conversations doesn't have to just be in the media. But it's always a conversation which is like, look how hot he got. It's never look at how he's tried to seek revenge on his ex.
Look how he's trying to make his ex jealous. We don't talk about it like that. We only talk about women trying to get back at a man or trying to enact revenge on a man. The way we look post breakup seems to still be tied.
Into the X. Look, there are some issues with this whole idea of revenge body as well. There's this possibility that the photos that you're taking so much time and effort to a shred your body, be go and do your photo shoot, see to post your photo in hopes that just maybe your ex is going to stumble across it. We all get stuck into this idea of I just hope he sees this somehow, so he sees how happy I am, how successful I am, how much weight I've lost,
how toned I look. We've all been there, and I don't think I know anyone in my life that hasn't posted a photo or or you know, put I guess I don't want to say first trap because they're not first traps, but someone that hasn't done something purely with the intention of hoping their X season.
I mean, like I've talked about on this podcast before, how I used to post quote. See I don't know revenge body, but I had an aspirational quote for you. I'm living my most aspirational life.
But hang on, was the quote, was the quote the photo or was the quote in the caption that a companied a photo of you looking hot?
No, it was usually a quote in the photo, and then i'd put an emoji of.
Like a heart or sparks. Maybe it was a moon because it was a full moon. Who knows. I'm very cryptic, very deep. Would they still be on your page if I'm back? God? No, no, no, I'm a whole new person. Now. Did you went through your quote phase? We'll forgive you. Did you ever post a photo purely of you thinking you're really hot for the intention that your ex might see it and regret what he has done?
Or I'm sure I have, Like I can't think of it. I can't think of an example right now. But one of the things I have done so me post breakup my first my first like real heartbreak, like proper heartbreak. We were together for six years, and I did not cope with the breakup very well. I was very much in love with this man, and I thought that we were gonna get married and spend our lives together.
But he broke up with me, and I'm not twisted. Oh guys, it really went awry.
But I did this like I had very disordered eating as a result of that breakup, and I and I did it as a way of controlling, controlling something in my life. When my life felt very out of control. I started exercising heaps, not because it was a healthy outlet for me, but because I could see that I was losing weight and then I was only eating one meal a day. I was really not taking care of myself in that respect. But I felt so good that I was so skinny, and that made me feel better
about myself. It made me feel better that even though he didn't want me, I thought I looked so bangin' And then when I did run into him eventually he was like, you look sick like you.
Fuck You were like, damn it.
But I almost got off on that a little bit at the time as well, because because I liked that he then knew that I needed him.
I felt like, look what you've done to me.
Yeah, Like I felt like it made him respet for it, and it just I think it really now, Like looking back, I was very young at the time. I don't have those issues with my body or with the way that I eat, all the way that.
I deal with problems anymore. I don't deal with stress in the same way. But I think now when I look back on it, like, I feel really sorry for that girl. My whole worth was based on what I thought I looked like, and if I was skinnier, if I was prettier, then maybe he would want to be with me. And I think it's really important to drive that part of the conversation home, which is like, your worth is not based in what you look like. Your worth is based on who you are as a person.
And if someone only wants to be with you or get back with you because you've gotten skinnier or hotter, or you've changed something about yourself, then that is not somebody who you should be investing any of your time, you'll love, or your energy into. I'm sorry you went through that stage, and I don't think it's uncommon at all.
I think a lot of people listening right now would have gone through that exact thing, and they might be going through that right now, thinking that someone will want them back and love them more if they're thinner, if they look better, if they're more toned. I remember I was this guy for a while who we got along really well. He was foreign, so there was some barriers there, but I remember he told me. I don't know if I've told you before. I remember he told me I'd
be hotter if I lost five kilos. He told me I'd be hotter if I lost five kilos, And I literally walked out of that house and got a pizza. Yes, I'm so lucky that I'm like. It's stung. And there was part of me that was like, maybe I would be, maybe I should. But then I'm lucky that I can click myself back out of that and say, no, I know my self worth is not on how skinny I am. But you're so lucky that you have that mindset, whereas I don't think. I think I had a lot of
work for it. It doesn't come. I have a lot of issues with my body. I'm I as you know, I will speak really negatively about myself, but I will pull myself out of that really quickly.
There are a lot of people who don't have that ability necessarily. And somebody's saying you'd be hotter if you lost five kilos. Some people might have the self confidence to be like, screw you, pal, And I hope that we can empower women who are listening to this to have that confidence. But I know that there are also women who would hear that and it would make them think and believe, I will be better if I lose weight,
and that's happened to so many people. It's things like that which is what sets people off into disordered eating for sure.
And that's why I want to talk about it now. And that's why I want to highlight the fact that somebody telling you you need to change your body to be more worthy of them or for them to be more attracted to you, that's not the sort of person you want to be with. You want to be with somebody that sees who you are for your character and your ambition and your drive, because you're a sassy batterus
bitch exactly. And I do want you guys to know that nothing your self worth and what you are able to do in achieving your life absolutely has no correlation to the number on a scale.
I really love this quote this lady whose name is Michelle Ellman, who is a body positive coach. She has said, if you are changing your body for someone else, you are the one that loses in the end because you are still letting that person dictate your life and your body,
and you were doing it for their approval. She's also then gone on to say what happens when you don't get that approval, which, like you said, maybe you put up that photo on Instagram hoping to not first trap, but you know, first trap them and to seeing how how great you look, how much fun you're having. What happens when you don't get that approval they have still
remained the focus of your life. And it also sends an implicit message that the reason why they should have stayed with you is for your appearance.
Also, I want to highlight something that it's not really spoken about, but the people that you see that have bulging six packs and like no fatt on them and they're so so lean, the body builders, the people that are competing in physique competitions, those people, I can tell you are really unhealthy. They have cut their calories in half. They are probably standing on stage fatigued, they're dehydrated because
they can't drink water for three days. All those things that you're seeing, they're not real life and it's not maintainable. We are trained society to look at somebody that has a six pack and say, oh, they must be so fit, when chances are to get that they're sacrificing a lot in their life.
Well, I think that also comes down to something that we talk about a lot on this podcast, which is this comparison culture.
Social media. You constantly see so many beautiful fit, skinny and I hate that word, but I'm gonna use it skinny girls, and then they are held up as the benchmark of what is beautiful. But I guarantee a lot of people who are on social media preference the way they look over their actual physical health. So I think using that benchmark of comparison is very, very dangerous because we know that that body is it's not aspirational, it's
not attainable for most people. And a lot of the bodies on Instagram are not even freak and real, not because they've been face tuned. And I see it every day. There are girls on there who I know I'm friends with, I follow, and they face tune their photos to make themselves look slimmer. And it kills me when I see that, because I'm like, I know that that's not real. You know, because I know you. I know you, I know you,
and I think, who are you doing this for. I'm all for going through a breakup and getting the fittest you've ever been. I'm all for that. I'm all for changing your diet and getting the healthiest you've ever been, as long as you're doing that purely for yourself to feel better in yourself, for your mental health, to make yourself happier, to give yourself more energy. I'm the biggest advocate for that. It's only crossing a line when you're
doing it purely to get back at somebody else. If you're not doing it for your own personal gains, you're doing it for the wrong reason.
I fully recommend embracing exercise post breakup. I fully recommend going for long walks and keeping active, doing anything to distract your brain away from how upset you feel. Exactly like brit said, what becomes really detrimental is when you're trying to do it, and the motivating factor behind it is because you think you'll be better when you're something else, which you never will be. You're already amazingactly the.
Way you are. There Actually was a really interesting quote that I found from a dating coach, Jonathan Bennett. He was an American dating coach, and he says, in my personal and professional life, I have never seen the revenge body achieve its primary goal of winning back the ex or creating jealousy. Never.
It totally trivializes whatever the issues were in the relationship to start with, like you didn't get broken up with or the relationship didn't end because of the way one of you looked like.
That wasn't the reasoning behind it. And it's hard because, especially in Australia, we do have a bit of a history of reality TV stars, for example, going through breakups and losing drastic amounts of weight and then all of a sudden, that's all the meat is talking about post breakup body, revenge body, and all of a sudden, it's all we're seen, it's all our youth are scene, or it's even I all I'm looking at is, oh my god,
this girl's lost so much weight. She's getting all these amazing affirmations and everyone everyone's saying she's doing an incredible job, and all of a sudden, even subconsciously, it's been drilled into our minds so that that's what we need to do to get any applause.
Just to bring it back around to Adele for like a quick second, this woman she has the voice of an angel. She's an immensely talented and successful person whose accomplishments are big enough without the backhanded compliment of like, oh, you look so amazing now that you've lost weight. But I guess it just comes back to why is it something that we feel the need to constantly talk about? And I know that we're talking about on this podcast, So maybe that's a redundant and ironic thing to even say.
But as someone that used to be a personal trainer, my sister's nutritioner, she coaches people to lose weight, we know how hard a lot of people do have to work to make healthy changes in their life. And I think those people should be applauded if they have actually worked so hard to change their life to be healthier and be happier and have more energy, then I think we should be saying well done, you look great, because they feel great and they've worked hard for it. So
there has to be a fine line. We can't just say as a whole community, no, it's fat shaming to congratulate someone on weight loss. I disagree with that because I don't think it is. If someone's worked hard for that, we should be celebrating that with them. The issue comes with the words of saying like, you've had a glow up or you look so amazing now, and it's like, oh, she looked amazing before, and she was pretty glown up a year ago when she was winning all the Grammys.
But I totally appreciate the same thing, Like I appreciate that if somebody has worked so hard and in a healthy way to be at their goalway or to look a certain way because it's what they want for themselves, then we should absolutely be able to appreciate and applaud someone in that. I think I just want to wrap this up by really reiterating that your body should not be the deciding factor in whether or not someone wants to be in a committed relationship with you, and anybody
that is worth dating will believe character is more important. Amen, Amen an Adelfa President. All Right, guys, if you've been with us for a while, then you would know that we never finished an episode with.
Our suck and our wheat and our sucking. Our sweet is just our highlights and our low lights of the week. Brittany's doing a weird dance right now, and I'm kind of into it. I'm kind of weird it out.
It's getting late, all right, Brittany, give me your suck. So I told you, guys before I went to put McRoy to see my family, and we have this amazing brunch. My sister made French toes with like a berry compot and maple syrup and the whole kinkaboodle. So we have this family dog. It sounds like a sweet. It was the sweep my family dog. We have a Rhodesian ridge back Lily, and she is a solid sixty kilos. Like Rhodesian ridgebacks, they're actually bread to hunt lions. I don't
know if you know that. I do know that used to have one. Yeah, line hunters, so they beat back for a bit of trigger from Britain. Laura. They're big dogs anyway, but my Lily is the biggest of this breed I have ever seen. So she just I turned away for like two seconds, turned back and her head is at kitchen table. She just took the pancakes in her mouth and wanted. She didn't even have to jump up. She did a drive by. She did the smoothest drive by. She just walked past, went head off to the sign
and kept walking. I didn't even know. It's like a ninja. She's like a ninja pancake ceiling dot. She's a sixty kilo humongous or adiger Rebeck ninja. Oh put a photo on my story. But she's the cutest thing. So that was my suck for you know, I used a data guy who had a great Dane and this one time he brought home a barbecue chicken and the great Dane just ate the whole barbecue chicken off the table Lily. It's not Lily's first kitchen attack. We got a whole
kilo of bacon out it was frozen one night. We can obviously put in a pastra or saying I don't know. She did a drive by bacon thing. The kilo of frozen bacon. That's good for a dog. It's great, unstoppable. I bet She smelled amazing a few hours later, as good as my car smelt after the key share. All right,
what is your sweet? My sweet would have to be the fact that I just did go to Palm Corey and I spent some time with my family after five months, and we just had some really nice quality time and I forgot how much I needed it and missed it. So wholesome, isn't it? It was the most wholesome two days.
It really feels like things are shifting. Well, they are shifting obviously, we're like coming out of phase one.
We're going to be in phase two soon. So is it phase two? Is that what it's called.
I don't know things are shift phase if phase, I don't even know what's happening in the world anymore. It's just too it's been too wild, and I feel like we're going to be back into normal life really really soon. And I feel like we're going to forget this ever happened. No one is going to forget this ever happened.
I actually am not ready. I really love isolation. I've got to shave my legs. Mazina, how long have you not shaved your legs for? I have not shaved for quite some time. That's as the kids would say, TMI, Laura.
Well, anyway, guys, if you've made it to the end of the episode, you got that bit of bonus information for free by suck is Oh okay, So my suck is that now that it's gotten cold, Matt has started to do something at night time.
I'm really not okay with. So Matt likes to put his feet, like his toes into my feet, into the soles of my feet, like he kind of like he kind of like scratches his feet into my feet. He just snuck into the bedroom. At what do you have to say about this that?
Would you like to chime in and comment on the fact that you like to scratch my feet with your feet.
In the middle of the night? Here he comes. I did it like once, I was very very annoyed. And I do it because it's a sign of affection. Oh, it's just like a loving pat you know what it depends on. Do you have Jurassic Park toenails? So they're very well kept, they're still very scratchy on the soles of my feet. And aren't you ticklish? Being woken up at two am by the by the feeling of a big toenail running down the sole of your foot. You could have been woken up by something else. That's the
four play of the Bachelor. Do you know how many people would kill to be woken up by my toenails? I'm in hoenails and a scratchy mustache. You're welcome, Thank you, Thank you for that, Thank you for that little cameo appearance there, Maddie Jay, how long was he waiting outside the door for to come in just the right moment.
Literally, he's probably wanting to go to bed. We've been doing this for a while, Okay, And my sweet for the week, I mean it was Mother's Day. Mother's Day was pretty sweet. I got my first Mother's Day present. Matt printed out one of the photos of when I gave birth to Marley. Not one of the photos, but a nice after birth photo. Not even that, a both photo of me and Marley after I had her. It wasn't a photo of the after birth that would be gross. So it was a black and white photo of me
and Mali. And he got me a bunch of flowers, and he got me a massage.
Oh, a massage made his big toe, Maddie j Special guys, we are out. We are out. Come back and join us on Thursday where we.
Are answering all your deep, dark and dirty questions.
And if you have a question for us, I'm not finished, and Brittany's already trying to chime in like her mouth is going every time.
So if you have a question for Ask Uncut, please jump onto the Facebook page. If you're not already following it, it's Life Uncut Podcast. Send us your question. You can also send it via Instagram. Also, surprisingly that is Life Uncut Podcast as well.
Easy to find. Consistency is key. We'll see you guys in a few days, and please you know the drill hit five star, leave a review, tell your friends and shared love because we love Brittany, We love, we love because no, I'm leaving it with that one. We're leaving it. Brittany's family said we needed to try news and at the end of this day, I asked for some constructive criticism in my family and the like, we can try it, you can sign off, and I was like, oh, I'm
gonna take that feedback back to Laura. You're welcome to the Hostleys. You're welcome