The Ick

I'm gonna blame Laura. Let me finish my sentence. Gonna blame Laura. But I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't slightly relieved because I was the most I have ever been. And when you pulled the pin, I was like, it's okay, Han, we'll make it work. And I was like, hallelujah. You were like, oh that's yeah. Yeah, you have been sick. We shouldn't do it. Don't push yourself, really, you just take care of yourself, babe. Now I understand where it

really came from. Honestly, I mean I would have done it obviously, because I'm a team player, but I was relieved for sure. Well, guys, you know that we hate missing an episode, but sometimes life gets in the way, which is why we're bringing you a cracker episode today. Dun dun du. But you were crook right. You had the flu? Yes, I complained about it on the last episode, or complained about it on this episode. I had a flu or a cold or something that was just hanging around. Yeah,

it just wasn't a fun week. And then on the weekend it was Marley's birthday. Yes, she's one, which I'm mind won't. This has been the longest and also the shortest year of my entire life. It's wild to me that she's won. But also I feel like I haven't

slept for an entire year. I don't think you. I just can't believe because I remember when we started the podcast, she was in your belly and we were talking about, oh, we only have a few months before she pops, And all of a sudden, it's her first birthday, she's going off to college, she's got a boyfriend on them The other day, it was really awkward, did you too, I did see her like cuddling up to another little toddler. Yeah, that was a cousin, my cousin oh on Instagram. Yeah, yeah,

it was her cousin. I actually used to have like a love affair with my cousin when I was one, two three. We were I'm so glad that you like put in there the age. Oh, it was a really great love affair with my cousin when I was thirteen, and that was very formative. But you watched them, You watch them. Cut that sentence and be a headline sound by Brittany has awkward relationship with cousins, Thank you Daily Mail. No, but we he was my cousins and we were with

the same age. We were very, very very little, but we just loved each other. We used to hold hands and like leaning, like you know when you're a meter of part, used to leave in and like peck on the lips and stuff. We have photos like that. I'm like, MoMA, why did you? Why did you allow this to happen? Like this is like this is added to my adult trauma and I'm still living through. This is the reason why a boy friend I've been in love with my cousin.

Sh It's getting really weird really quick. On this podcast, I can guarantee so many of you listening right now have loved what you've loved a cousin or something for sure. That's fine because it's innocent. Oh wow, can only go up from here? Guys? What else have you done? Well? Like, I're gonna sit on Marley's birthday for a little while because it was like it was a really big milestone, but I am more of a milestone for me. Like, She's definitely not going to remember her birthday, but I'm like,

this is the year. This is the day that my entire life changed and will never ever go back to what it was. Well, first birthdays they're more for the parents, aren't they. They're more for the adults to celebrate, do you think, Yeah, it's like I am celebrating the fact that I am actually a responsible adult and kept a whole other human alive for an entire year. Like that shit is worth celebrating. Yeah, right, with many Rose's Thank god Nana was there to be the responsible adult for

the day. How is your weekend? Oh my, I'm just going to straight up complain. I am so exhausted. I have had the biggest work week of my entire life. I went to work at six am and I came home two days later and it's it's just been nuts. My saving grace is that I was doing it with my sister. We were on the same shifts together. But the hospital has been mental and I just haven't felt this fatigued in a really long time. And I'm not a complainer, guys. I'm always a hard worker. That's fine,

but this is the next level. I just went to sleep. I sat on my bed right to meet Laura. I sat on my bed. I don't remember closing my eyes. It was twenty minutes. I was drawling. I was pasted out cold. Then I get a message from Laura being like, hey, babes, like you coming up And I was like, oh my god, I'd like crazy, that's my face, wiped the drawl off, ran up here. But other than that, like that's literally

what I did. What didn't help is before I knew these mannic shifts were coming, a friend of mine was like, come and meet me for a drink. I was like, fine, but I have the biggest week of my life ahead. I'm going to go for one drink and I'm going to be home early. That went to about midnight. I got home at midnight. I'm in my new apartment. I'm in my bathroom with the window closed, and I hear someone say, Brittany, Now this is frosted glass. You can't

see into my window. Wait, you're in the bathroom. I'm in my bathroom. Are you in the shower? No, I'm in the mirror about to take my makeup off. I'm not in the mirror. I'm looking in the mirror next to the window, windows, frosted glass, the lights on, and I hear this Brittany. I was like, what lift the window. I pulled my head out and there's a full blown party next door and I'm looking at these people with the lights in my eyes so I can't identify them.

And I was like, did you just call my name? And they're like, I knows your name, Brittany, and I was like yeah. They're like, oh, get fucked. And then I'm like, well, no, like you know that because you just said my name. And they're like, we actually didn't. We just saw a shadow. We just picked it. We literally picked a name out of thin air. They swear to God that they just picked a random name and said Brittany. And I was like, oh, well that's weird.

That's my name, and they're like, you want to come over? And I was like sure, So I went back downstairs and just went over to his party. They're like, oh, I'll meet you out the front. Because I'm really big on being like sometimes the best things come from saying yes. Okay. That was a huge per se. So I walked down to this party. Now, because they're bright party lights in my eyes, I couldn't see who I was talking to.

But there were a bunch that were like seven guys a few chicks, and I was like, what's the worst that could happen. I'll go to this party or make some new friends. This is the middle of the night as well, yes, correct midnight? Okay. Then I get down to the party and the guy that meets me is me. I couldn't. He had a lot of facial hair, he was a bit drunk, he had a hat on. I couldn't really identify him or his age. Brittany ends up

a swingers party. No, that would have been like leave your keys in the bowl right here and take your pants off. Her swingers party would have been better. I walked in and it is packed. This is a proper party. They've got a DJ, there's probably sixty seventy people in this huge house, and I'm like, this could be fun. Get down the back and he's like, do you want to drink? I was like, that'd be great. I'm standing there in like a turtleneck. We all know I love turtlenecks.

I'm standing there in like a cashmere turtleneck. Oh my gold jewelry. I had the most beautiful, expensive trench coat on. He goes, what are you doing? Take your coat off? And I'm like before I came in the house. He's like, take you caut of. I'm like, it's fine. I like my coat. He's like, I'm gonna get you a drink. And I start to look around the party. I'm like, oh my god, I reckon the oldest person here. Oldest was twenty one oldest, so I was like, these people

had to have been seventeen, eighteen nineteen. I was like, I look like the mum that's come to check in on the kids. I was like, oh my god, I need to get out of here. I was like, but he's getting me a drink, so I'll just wait. He comes, he's like he pops his head back around the corner. He's like, hey, Babes is a beer fine, and I'm like, yes, just get me something quickly because I was just standing

there awkward. I was like, A bee's fine. I'm surprised he didn't come out with like a cocksacking cowboy, like a Buddy smurt Off black. He comes back and he's like, oh, we're actually all out of everything, and I was like, you know what, it's probably time for me to go anywhere. I walked to the front door. He walked behind me, tried to kiss me. I was like, God, this could not get any worse. I just like ran, and now they know where I live and that's the end of

my story. So anyway, sometimes saying yes he'sn't the best idea. Wow. Yeah, I didn't even know I was going to tell that story twenty These are the crazy things that happened when you're single and you live alone. And that thing never gonna happen to me as far as I know. You'll be the person that pokes your head out and he's like, can you turn that deck? I thought like, I will call the fucking police if you don't turn that music off. Honest, stop calling for Brittany. I'm very angry at her right

now and then do you know something even funnier. Well, it's not funnier, it's weird. Like I woke up in the morning, I had to go to work at five am. I woke up and I was so mad. I was like, I can't believe this party is still going. I could hear the music still blaring. I was like, this is ridiculous. I walk out into my living room and it was me. The TV had turned itself on. I'm not kidding. I

think I have a ghost. The TV turned itself on, put it onto an ABC music channel, and at full ball was blaring music and it had gone all night. So now my neighbors think I'm a party animal. I thought it was the next door neighbors the whole time. I don't think you have a ghost. I think that you probably have a ruined TV from the time that you flattered your apartment. But live and learn, baby, live

and learn. Oh it sounds like you for someone who's worked so oh March this week, you have actually had a very very eventful weekend. Yeah. Anyway, other than that, Oh, oh, I will tell you something. Oh dear God, it keeps coming. Oh God, make it stop. Okay, so like, this really shit thing happened. I went. I was feeling a bit like, oh, I'm gonna live on the edge, you know, parked in a one hour park anywhere in Sydney, I feel like that's living on the edge. I had to go do

some errands. I was walking back to my car. I knew I had been about one hour and six six point five minutes. Oh really, I was with the devil. I was dancing. I was like, oh my god, please don't let me have a fine walked up to my car. I could see it a little flap. I could see it flapping in the wind. I was like, kill me, walk up to it, pick it up two hundred and twenty dollars for this six minutes over and I was beside myself. I was like, I just you know, when

you're just so defeated. I was like, I just can't anymore. Went to unlock my car to get in. It wasn't my car. What was I dig it? I was like, I was like, I was like big trope and the door didn't open, and I had this. I looked back down the ticket, looked at the red role on the car, looked at the car, and I was like, hellelujah, it's not my car. I put this poor person's ticket on and ran two cars up to my car that I had no ticket. I was really on a roller coaster

with you. Then. Anyway, I got my emotions. There were a lot of emotions in a really short period of time. I didn't really know what to do with it. But I'm kind of jealous that you can have such a busy week and yet still so many things happened to you. The most exciting thing that I've done in the last week is that Matt and I opened a joint bank account. Our first one was that after our episode. Yes, congratulations, thank you guys, we're fully fledged adults. Now we parent

a child and we have a joint bank account. So would you say you're official now? I would say that we are a proper couple. You know, a child wasn't enough, but having a joint bank account has really solidified our relationship. But now you can see what each other buy. That's a dangerous thing. Oh no, no, no, We're still going to get our wages into our own bank account. Don't

be crazy before we get into accidentally unfiltered. Do you want to tell the people what The episode is about, Oh yeah, have you ever been in that situation where you are smitten? All you can think about is this person. All you want to do is see them and speak to them and make out with them. And when you're with them, you just want to roll all over them and touch them and be affectionate and do everything with them. When you're not with them, you're messaging them, you're sending

them carry your pigeons, you're talking to them constantly. Then all of a sudden you find them repulsive. That's a real bait and switch, there wasn't it. Well that Ladies and Gentlemen has a really technical name, and it's called the ick. Yes, and that's what we're going to talk about today, the ick. But before we get into the ick, we are going to give you our favorite part of the episode. And you know what that is, Ladies and Gentlemen. The one gentleman who listens to this podcast, I think

is twelve percent. Wait, have you actually looked at the figures of our podcasts or is this just a brittany guest? No, it is. You know, Hey, I'm on the back end. I'm the business end. Mate. We we got men, all right? Good? So and men would listen to this podcast to try and figure out what women want. Well they should. If they're not there, go tell your boyfriends. Actually just on this.

We got a message today which was from somebody who has been listening to the episodes, and she she wrote it in as an accidentally unfiltered but it was more about her fiance, and she says, today I discovered that my fiance didn't know that women have two holes down there, like he thought that we peed and he uses the same holes. How many men he thought you peed and had sex and did everything? Everything was just one hole. It's a sexy pee baby making hole of magic. Oh

my god. How many men do you think are walking around on planet Earth who don't realize that women have two holes? Three holes? I actually mate one for the number two's I thank god. I actually think more men than not would think that. I think more men would think there's that one hole. I have a feeling Matt thought this when we first got together, because I remember saying something to him and him looking confused but being like, yeah, I know you're talking, no idea. Should we get him

in just to ask him? Yeah, I'm Matt, okay, coming to my Matthew Johnson, thank you for this cameo. I've just I've just pulled him out from the lounge room into the bedroom. Matthew Johnson, how many holes do you think a woman has? Twelve? No? Really how many? Some have twelve?

can tell him how wrong he is. I think so too, which is how we run our relationship. Anyway, we can have a panel of men who don't know what they're talking about. Actually one, don't we have two men, because that way they might have different opinions. All right, let's go to Accidentally Unfiltered. That was a rogue section. So Accidentally Unfiltered. You know what this is. It is our

favorite section of the podcast. It is when you write in your most embarrassing stories and we all laugh at you anonymously, of course, but honestly we love it so so much. We feel for you in your embarrassment, but also we're here for you with the lulls. I've been coming in hard and fast than the last week or two, haven't they. Well last week we kind of put out there that we were thinking about doing a whole Accidentally Unfiltered episode and it was received gloriously. You all want one,

We will put one together. It's in the works, all right, hit me with number one. Ahem. Okay, I love this from multitude of reasons. She starts by saying, I make my boyfriend listen when we're in the car, and he laughs along and nods at your great advice too. He actually really loves the show. I have an accidentally unfiltered embarrassing moment for you, But I do have to admit before I tell you, it took me a really long time before I realized that all these stories weren't Britney's stories.

She thought every accent, she must have thought I was a fuck god. She thought every single accidentally unfiltered was from me. Why would you think that they're all from you? When I tell half of them as, I'm so perplexed, Like I know, guys, we've gone into a lot of crazy shit in our lives. But I can tell you that this is not all our crazy shit. Can you imagine if they were all? I wonder? I've been single

ten years? Had some faith in me? Girl? Okay, So I finally got out to grab a coffee this morning, and as I was waiting, I noticed that the bristo was really cute. I'm in a happy relationship, but you know, I'm not blind. It's a really small cafe, so he took my order and then he said, hey, before you go, can I grab your number? I laughed, and I was so flattered, and I said, look, I'm really flattered, and I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend and I'm really

happy with him. But it's really sweet. Thank you. He laughed and replied, Oh no, it's for the coronavirus tracking, so we can contact you with someone else here. I was so embarrassed. I apologized and walked outside to wait for the coffee there. But then I ended up in my car all of a sudden, I drove home without my coffee. Now I can never go back. She didn't even take a coffee, that she has a boyfriend, and she was still so embarrassed. Like, just I actually think

that's funny. Imagine imagine that happening. Imagine you'd be like, I'm so sorry, I've got a boyfriend. He's like, what, dude, it's just for like a reservation. Like imagine, just like, oh god, I love that so much. Do you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna call it on this guy's ass. I reckon he maybe had asked for your number, and then that was his reaction to being rejected. Try and

think of it that way. That's super optimistic. But every place, like every cafe and restaurant i've been to recently, I've had to write my number down, So I think I think it was just possibility there that this was misinterpreted, and actually he thought you're a babe, and he's really embarrassed and he's running around with his tail between his legs, and you know what, girlfriend, you've still got it, even though you've got a boyfriend, You've still got it. It's

actually one of my favorite ones we've had. All right, Okay, so accidentally unfiltered number two. A few years ago, I went on a family holiday with my parents to visit my sister. One night, when I was out with my sister, she took me to a gathering to meet some of her friends. This is where I met a hot guy and we headed off. With my sister's blessing, we agreed to go on a date the following night. We watched a movie at his and then we ended up sleeping together.

After we finished having sex, he walked outside, button naked and sat on the veranda stairs to have a smoke. Still naked. I walked out and went to sit down next to him, but because it was dark, I didn't realize that where I was going to sit wasn't actually the stairs at the edge of the verandah. I fell two meters to the concrete below onto a gas bottle. I lay there, stark naked, bleeding from my back and my arm, while the poor guy was screaming, Oh my god,

this is actually like dangerous. Yeah it was, but it's kind of funny. Did she die? The guy is screaming naked and comes raising down the stairs thinking his one night stand is dead and she's naked. They're both dude. After I managed to get my breath back, I asked my clothes and for him to drive me back to the hotel I was staying at. We've literally never spoken. I'm actually concerned for the girl. I'm glad that she's well enough to tell the tale. You can laugh at

herself and her own misfortune. Naked onto your back onto a gas bottle, it could have exploded. Oh my god, just imagine doing it now, imagine doing a cloth. Oh guys, Maya are so brilliant. Thank you for running them in. Please keep them coming. And I feel like every week we read one, it triggers something in someone. Someone's like, oh my god, that reminded me of mine. And you write it in and that's what we want. Keep them

coming so we can keep bringing you the lull. First, beautiful Brianny beautifully said, thank you, thank you so much. Now let's get into the episode. Okay, So guys, this episode we're talking about the ick. And it's that feeling that I think most of you have had at some point in your life. If you haven't had it yet, you're really lucky. And I hope you don't get it. I have had it, Laura, I know you've had it.

It is just that feeling that hits you like a ton of bricks when you think you're in love and last and you're in this amazing relationship and you can't get enough of each other and then one day, Beam, you just can't stand them anymore. I reckon so many people have gone through this and that this is such a relatable topic. But I just don't reckon that many people know the name of it, or like haven't haven't

given it a title before, really technical name. But this really technical name which has been coined is the ick. And because we're being so incredibly technical with this name and everything, I want to read you the definition of the ick from somewhere, which is a very reliable source where we get a lot of our information from, and that is the Urban Dictionary. Oh, I thought you're gonna say Daily Mail. You could be on the crips with

a guy or girl. Everything seems to be going fine, you think you like them, but then you suddenly catch the ick. From then on, you can't look at the person in the same way. You just progressively get more and more turned off by them, weirdly, and maybe for no reason in particular, just grossed out by them. You'll cringe at the thought of you and them together. Nothing will be the same. You won't be able to do it any longer, and eventually you're gonna have to cut

it off. This originated well they say it originated from Love Island, courtesy of Olivia from Love Island, and I'm guessing this is the American Love Island, so we haven't really got access to it. But there was also an episode in Friends that was the original Friends. There you go. Well, it was when Monicaarden of you guys. I mean, we all know that Laura prefers Seinfeld because she's a psychopath. Yeah,

we all know that. I've not actually seen the episode, and I was just going off the articles I've read, so I was just kind of running in the wind there, guys. You guys remember when Monica was like twenty five and she was dating a guy that was younger. He said he was like nineteen or twenty or something, so she lied since she was twenty two. She was super into it that were hooking up, and then all of a sudden he told her he was only seventeen. He was underage.

And that is when she says she has the egg. And this was a long, long, long, long time ago, and that is actually where it originated, but it was thrust back into our faces from Love Island. It's a feeling and a sensation that we've always known, but we've never ever been able to label it. So all it's done now is give it that label. Brittany, tell me a time when you've caught the ick. Oh, I had

the ick so bad. It's only ever happened once, And I actually feel bad for saying it, Like I still feel bad to this day because this person was really great, really nice, did nothing wrong, really, I mean, we just didn't get along. But what happened was I was dating this guy, but I wasn't dating him for very long

we were pretty new. We were long distance, so we didn't know each other that well, but that means the infatuation was it was easy and effortless because we spoke on the phone, we send our messages every few weeks. Would have a great weekend in Sydney. I also think sometimes when you're doing that sort of long distance, it almost amplifies and intensifies the relationship a little bit, where like they become even more desirable because you're not being

exposed to them all the time. So it's like that distance makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing exactly. So I had decided to go on a holiday. I'd booked a trip from and just by myself, and he says, well, you can't go by yourself, like why don't I come? And I was like, well, no, I can go by myself, like that was the plan until I met you type thing. He's like, look I can get leave, I'll come, And I thought, okay, this could actually be fun. We booked a trip we went to America, which was not on

my list. I went there for him because he really wanted to go. We were going for five weeks. Oh god, three days in and I just woke up and I had the eke so bad that I couldn't even look at him, and I can't even explain it. We'd had an argument the night before and then I just could not even look at him. I was like, I can never touch you again. And I had no choice. It was so severe that I couldn't even try and ride it out for the holiday, Like I couldn't even wait

another day. So not a day we're in Vegas. It's so dramatic. I'm done. I have to run away from this man. No, that's what I did. The last thing you want to do is be on a holiday with someone and get to the UK. So I say to him, I can't do this, and I mean, we're not years down the track. It was early days. I was like, hey, like this isn't working for me. He's like he was beside himself. He was really upset. He was crying, and Brittany, who's obviously really has high emotions not just was looking

at him and he was crying. I was like, I'm sorry, like this is over. Were you like almost more repulse by the fact that he was crying at the time, I was just staying even more turned off by you. Now yep. In my head, I was just like, make this stop and leave. I was like, in my head, I was like end it and get out anyway. So I said, look, it's not going to work. If you want to keep traveling together as friends because we'd planned a trip, that's fine, we can travel together as friends.

And he I think he didn't realize how independent I was, how much travel I'd done on my own, and he's like, the only way we're traveling together is if it's together as boyfriend and girlfriend. So if you don't want to be alone, then you're gonna have to be my boyfriend. Like he was always trying to bribe me. And I was like, oh, that's cool, okay, I no worries. I'll leave tomorrow and he was like what and I was

like yeah, like I'll just replay the trip. I was like, I would rather be on my own than have to have sex. So I knew that he wasn't a big traveler and he hadn't done a lot on his own, and I did feel bad for him. That's why I said, if you want to keep traveling his friends, like, we'll do that. So I let him keep the trip basically, and I just rearranged everything and I left the next day.

And I'm not kidding. I never saw him it like that was it, Just like I just I just went on a five week callidad through America by myself at the time of my life. I ran into him like two years later. But that was it. And I can't to this day. I can't put a finger on it, can't put my finger on it, but I remember it. I remember looking at him, and it was the way he was speaking, it was the way he was delivering it, it was everything about him, and it just changed in

a heartbeat. So I just that was it. I dumped the poor guy in America and off I trot. Well. I think that that's the whole concept, right at least, like catching the ick is that it It kind of can be something that turns. It turns almost instantly, Like it could be because of something they said, but it could also be because of like a habit. It could be because of some like the way they look. Maybe

it's the way they eat their food. Like it's something that seems very insignificant that has an extremely significant reaction from someone. Oh he used to do really bad, wiz pops. I remember that that was a real turn off. You don't like people farting around you, whiz bobbing farting. Mate, you would not get along with Matthew Johnson very well. I've learned to love him in all of his imperfections. He's a beautiful man. What's your what's your eck stories?

It simp okay. I have a few ex stories, But my first one, and the one that I think is the biggest one, is is I was dating this guy. He was a friend of my friends, and I'd heard about him quite a bit, and they were like trying to set us up on this date. And then by a chance, we actually ended up matching on Tinder anyway, and so we went on a date and I was like, I think this guy is amazing. I think he's so great.

And then we went on a few more dates and honestly, like he was he was such a great guy, and then we had sex. There's one night so so we like I was the one who was disgusting, Like I am the one who I am the one who should have been dumped after this, Like I rocked up at his house drunk. I was I went to his house for a booty call and was like sloppy and gross, and anyway, he was a total gentleman. I mean he had sex with me, but he was still a total gentleman.

I was sloppy, drunk and gross. He's still had sex with me, but he was he was a gentleman. This is the Cheesecake story all over it. I mean, I wasn't so drunk that I don't remember sex. Like I remember sex and it wasn't good. And I wrote woke up the next day and it was like a cloud had just been lifted. I imagine it's like how guys feel sometimes when guys are just in it for sex. But I wasn't originally like I was. I actually thought

that we were going to end up dating. I actually thought they were going to end up in a relationship. But I woke up that next morning and I was like repulsed by him, just it was not attracted to him anymore. Knew I didn't want to be in a relationship with him, Like could not get out of that house fast enough. I don't know what it was. It

wasn't necessarily the sex. It wasn't him, it wasn't me, Like I couldn't pin down what it was about the whole situation that I didn't like, but there was something about him that switch had just flipped and I was out of there. And I think that, like that feeling is something that probably a lot of women, and I think more women than men, have experienced in different relationships and dating when just for no reason, all of a sudden, you were totally off the guy who a week earlier

you were all over. Did you get up and leave? Yeah, but like without speaking to him, No, Like we had our morning pleasantries and then I left, but I was like, don't touch me. Yeah. And prior to that, we'd been texting all the time, we'd been very, very flirty, and then the thought of kissing him, I was like, oh,

did it happen because the sex was bad? Well, I mean, but then like i'd been drinking, so maybe I feel like I feel like I could have given him another chance and that would have potentially been better, but my physical repulsion to giving him like there was a full on blockage that I couldn't do it. Yeah. So I don't know, and I don't know where it came from,

and I don't know what it is. But the more research that we've done on this specifically for this episode, guys, is that the is something that there is an underlying psychological reason as to why you were turned off that person,

and it's like a visceral gut instinct. So, I mean, we talk a lot about believing in your intuition and following like what your intuition tells you, and it could be a case that your moral values don't align and instead of like you being very conscious and cognitive at that there is like this gut and guttural instinct and reaction.

So you may be almost like pinpointing small and insignificant things, but there's actually an underlying reason that's a much bigger and much more profound reason as to why you've been

turned off this person. It's funny that you say, you bring up these gut instincts, because did you know that humans, we are the only species, like the only animal that doesn't listen to our gut instinct and doesn't listen to our natural instincts fight it were the only ones that are like, oh, maybe it's not right, maybe I'm overthinking it,

maybe we can work through it. Whereas every other animal, I mean, we have so many nerves and so many sensations around our body that work together for a gut instinct, and that's why animals listen to them for fear when a predator's coming, when they just know something isn't right. We're the only ones that are like, ah, there's so many red flags. Maybe we'll just keep working through that. I think the problem with that is that because we have such a strong sense of being, which comes from

our ability to think things through and rationalize things. So if you're having these gut reactions to something but you can't rationalize why you're feeling them or thinking them, your brain almost wants to take power in that situation. But I guess sometimes your thoughts and your intuition they don't work together. They almost work against each other. It's like when people say, like your heart and your head are working against each other, it's the same thing, like your

gut and your head are working against each other. Yeah, and you and I do always we are big advocates, but go with your gut instinct, Like, if you really do have that deep, deep guttural feeling, then it is probably worth listening to your intuition as well. Is like, and we've said this in past episodes, but it is your body's dangerousponse. It's your body telling you that something's wrong, and it's your first very visceral response to kind of

like be aware of what's happening in a situation. So I think we have always said that you need to really listen to your intuition and prioritize those feelings because they're very rarely wrong unless you're somebody who has commitment issues. But if if it's a feeling that you've had about someone or about something, I think that those feelings are presenting themselves for a reason and we need to pay

attention to them. I had when I was in this relationship with the sociopath for two years and sood number three I said three, so dated a sociopath. I had that gut instinct the whole time, from day one, and I buried it the whole time because I just thought I was I just kept telling myself, you're overreacting, you're making things up. There's no way, you know, just embracing forward. It is. He's been so great to you, he's treating

you so great, he's buying you all these things. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that my gut was telling me that it was wrong from day one, and I just ignored it. And I think a lot of women who go through really difficult and men who go through really difficult relationships and really difficult experiences can look back and acknowledge that there was some inkling, like there was some intuition there, and I think some people

are way more attuned to it than others. But I do think, as a general rule, like we know that something's up, like you know from your partner's behavior. You know from like the way that they're interacting with you. You know from the way that they're dealing with like phone calls or their phone or like all different things.

We're kind of getting a little bit off topic from the dick, But I think, like we've said at time and time again, but intuition is just such a strong factor that you need to listen to, and that plays into this concept of the ick. Yeah, okay, so there's a big difference between like what Laura and I just discussed our personal ick issues situations, and that was that Laura had hers what two nights in you just you

just knew him two weeks. Yeah, I can, like I wasn't sleeping with some of the second you said it was the one night stand. Well we dated for a little while. It was the first time we had Oh okay, okay, so you had yours, you went with him, you went in a relationship. It was two weeks. But I reckon the happens often after having sex. What did he do to you? I got the egg from another guy after I had sex with him, and that was because he had a very questionable penis, and I was like, I

can't date that penis. What do you mean? What do you mean? It was? What was a questioning? It just wasn't for me. I can see you. I can look at you now and you're literally weighing up do I do this or do I not? I'm just throw a pulse by like shape, like visceral reaction. It was like tell on the back a strange of spaghetti. Oh my god, I know, and I feel like I'm dick shaming people. But it's honestly just I couldn't do it. Guys. How many times an episode do Laura and I look at

each other and say, you should we delete that? I shouldn't delete that talk about it after look, I mean, it's not nice, Like it's not a PC thing to say, and I'm sure there'll be another woman out there who does want it, but for sure it's different for everyone. People want different things totally. But I am absolutely sure that there are other women out there who have had sexual experiences with a guy and then they've decided after that, like, WHOA,

this is like not for me for whatever reason. And I think that there is I really do think that the it can be strongly tied to sex, and because that's when like that's when something shifts in a relationship as well, that's when the power dynamic shifts, that's when physically the relationship shifts. So I do think that there is a lot of this conversation that's tied up in sex. There's this idea of you get the ick and you have to leave and you can't overcome it because there's

just like no moving past that. But the further we dug and the more research we did, and the more psychologists we chatted to, we found out that that's not necessarily the truth. You don't have to get the egg and it doesn't have to be the end because there are different levels and different stages, whether it happens at the beginning or long term, when you're married, when you're first dating, whether you're official, it doesn't have to be the end. So we're gonna just chat about that. Well.

I did actually read a really interesting article as well, which is going back a little while now, but it's called the ick is bullshit and we've got to stop

using it as a reason to break up. So this article was on Pedestrian by a journalist named Melissa Mason, and the whole premise behind this, and what she's saying in her article is that saying that you automatically decided one day that you're no longer attracted to someone is like incredibly superficial because we live in this day and age now where we have zero patients, and she's written on this, you know, she blames this on the internet,

on smartphones, on social media, we can get information in minutes. It's made us impatient, little bitches. We want promotions now, money now, and love now. And the thing with relationships is they grow, they don't just magically sprang into phenomenal intimate lovefests. And I think that there is truth to this as well, Like I do think that that you have to identify in yourself and you're going to be

the only one who knows. Have to identify whether you've caught the ick over super superficial reasons and something that you could actually overcome, or is it something where your moral and your judgment values are actually not aligned our personality values. Whatever it is, there's something of your core beliefs that aren't aligned. They're two very different things, and one of them is you're going to be able to get over and maybe your feelings will change, and the

other one is like, okay, time to part ways. Yeah, there's a lot I do agree with on this, and not just in relation to the eck, in relation to our generation in general and dating, jobs, job satisfaction, money savings, buying houses. We do have a generation now where we want things faster for less work. We want we want it now, We are impatient, we have done a whole episode. Actually on the grass is always greener, and the grass

is always greener. I think that comes into when someone develops the inch a lot, because I think sometimes we get scared of commitment or we're unsure, and so we are actually searching for something to happen to make us uncomfortable so we can have a reason to leave. Think that you can look at this concept in two different lenses. You can look at it from the lens of like, Okay, your intuition is telling you something and you've got to

get out. Or you can look at it from the lens of impatience and go, well, maybe you're being impatient. You're expecting your relationship or you're expecting this person to be a level of perfection that maybe you're not either. A psychologist Meritith Fuller, she talks about why we get the ick and how we can actually stop it from

sabotaging relationships that are good on paper. A lot of the times we are searching for reasons to leave, like we just said, but she breaks it down into sort of I guess three stages or levels of the ick. So let's just like nut those out for a second. She says number one, the number one inch your opposites attract theory. So what she's saying is, when you first get together, you love that you're so different from your partner. You know, they might be tattered up, they might be

wanting to adventure, they might have five different jobs. They might be dolphin trainer, they might love to hike on the weekends and motocross and you you're happy in your nine to five, you like to play chess on the weekends. You don't like to get your nails dirty, Like you're so opposite. But this is why you this is why you get together, because you take something from each other and it's exciting and it's out of your comfort zone

and you think it's fantastic. But that only lasts so long, and once the magic fades from the beginning, once the honeymoon's over, you realize you literally just don't have anything in common anymore. People are like on their best behavior for the first month. They're like the Christmas version of themselves. So I think, you what do you mean, I'm a Christmas version of myself the first month, except I rock out to people's houses drunk and trying to have sex

with them. Anyway, long story, that was Christmas forre But like you know, we get the best version of people.

And I think that was another thing that was touched in this article that I just referenced, Like, you know, you get the best jokes, you get the best messages, you get the best attention, you get the best version of a person for the first couple of months, and then after that their true self starts to show, and I think you know you also have to be introspective and realize that the same goes for yourself as well, Like you're giving the best version of yourself, and then

after a couple of months, guess what, your jokes probably aren't quite as funny and you're not quite as good at the banter or whatever. It is, Like, things do level themselves out as well. But what are your what's your opinion on opposites attract? Look, it's an interesting one. I used to be. I used to be really really pro opposites attract, and I used to like to date people that were opposite to me. But for me that was I don't know if you guys know, but I'm

pretty loud for me that way. I dated an intrabad and all I did was talk at him and it didn't work out. So crazy, No, I dated people that were actually like quite shine reserved, and it never worked for me because then all of a sudden, and I remember saying to my mom. I remember saying, Mummy, he can't even swim because he couldn't The guy was dating for a long time couldn't swim. And she's like, pretty, that's not the end of the world. And I'm like, well it is because I want to go swimming on

the weekend and he can't come because he'll drowned. And that's why. And that's whenhen we got to the point where I we were like, oh, okay, so the opposites attracting war off really quickly. And now I didn't realize we don't have anything in common. That's also what happened with the guy that I got the EQ with overseas. I didn't realize until we got there we had absolutely nothing in common. He wanted to do this food tour of America. Now I love my food. We all know that.

But I was there in my mind. I was like, we're gonna go hiking in your seventy National Park. We're gonna get bungee jumping, We're gonna do camping, We're gonna do all this amazing stuff. We're gonna go diving. We're gonna see whales. I'm gonna free dive. He was like, We're gonna go to Texas to get a Texan barbecue, when you were like, I'm not signing up. We're gonna go to San fran to get the chowder we're gonna

like it was a food. And I just looked at him and I was like, oh my god, Like I want to do nothing that you want to do, and you want to do nothing that I want to do. And that was a moment I was like, Okay, you can't actually be with someone that is pole opposite. Yeah,

I'm a big believer. Like I mean, I'm sure that there are relationships out there where people would say, like, we're so opposite, But I think your core values will always align, Like the things that you want in your family, the things that you believe in the way that you show respect for each other. I think that your core

values have to be aligned. It's okay for there to be some parts of you that are very opposite, but I think the things that ground you and make you work as a couple is that there are some very there are some very significant underlying similarities. And when I speak to Mad about this, like, I think one of the reasons why we work so well as a couple

is because we are almost the same. Like, we are so identical in our personalities that we know each other's triggers for what can set the other one off really badly. But we also know exactly how one person wants to be loved, how one person wants to be nurtured. Like we are so similar, and I think that that has

been to our strength in a relationship. More so one of my best friends, she is the nicest, sweetest girl, but you'd almost think she was a bitch because she's so shy, like she's so softly spoken and reserved, but she's such a beautiful, loyal person when you know her. And her husband is like the opposite. He's so loud, he's such a big personality. He's so funny. He's the life of the party, like he will light up any room.

And they get along swimmingly, like they're perfect for each other because every other value and everything else in their life is the same. It's a line. So they have all that in common, and they actually compliment each other. She needed somebody that was like that because that wasn't her own a party, you know, So she needed that. He needed her to be like babe's rainingy and rein it in and so she pulls him back and it just works really well. But it only works because every

other part of their life is in line. You can date somebody who has opposite personality traits because you admire that of them, especially if you're dating someone who is an extrovert or is who who finds it really easy in gatherings to go and talk to anyone at the party, like they're very attractive personality traits. But I don't think that you need to have everything the same in order to be able to have a sustained relationship. But you, like you said, and like I said, I mean, there

we go love it when we agree. There has to be those core things that underlyingly are the same. And I think for a lot of people when they end up catching the ick, it's because there's something fundamental in their relationship that's not the same. There's something that's been said, there's something that's been done, There's something that's shifted in their core values that's made them go, oh no, no, no, this is not going to work out with this guy.

We just discussed it. Point number two is there's a fundamental difference in your attitude. So you're ahead of the psychologist. I know, askan Kat, here we go, here's your free therapy session. So Meredith Fuller, she does actually use the example we're discussed about an introvert an extra for dating, and how it actually can work as long as they're in line with everything else. So we already really covered

number two. That's amazing, look at us go. But what she does say is these x can still be worked through even if you are even if you do fundamentally have some differences. It doesn't have to be the end. She's saying. It just means you have to have a lot lot more open communication and you do have to be open to put it in the work and not jumping ships straight away. But that leads us to number three. Three is what we've been talking about earlier in the episode,

which is out of nowhere. You just don't like them anymore, like you're trying to find a valid excuse why. And this one is when, like we said, you might have been dating for a few weeks, the relationship is relatively fresh and literally out of nowhere. It almost feels like

you're just off them, like totally turned off. Yeah, and like you know rationally that someone putting two exits at the end of a text shouldn't make you feel sick or for a smooch, and you're like, oh my god, the word smooch makes me want to punch you in the face. Oh, I hate the word smooth. Tell me for a smoochy smooth like smooch me smoochie. I think baby talk is a big oh me too. And people that talk to their dog like a baby. I know

why you're saying this. Britt Semi recently dated a guy who spoke to his dog like it was a child. And it even gave me the ick. It was in an accent too. It was too much. Oh wow. Anyway, needless to say, it didn't work out. But this sort of a nick this is the one that she does say. You can't really overcome it if you were that instantaneously reposed and can't even bring yourself to touch him or cuddle him or her, I should say, to cuddle your

partner in bed. If a message or them calling and then their name pops up on your screen, it makes you feel sick. There's not really a lot of coming back from that. It doesn't make you a bad person.

If you're turned off someone and you don't want to give it a shot, like, you don't have to rationalize it in your head and try and be like, oh, but they're really nice and they've done this and there's no reason for me to feel this, Like it's okay for you to pull a pin on a relationship early because there's something about it that's made you feel like completely,

completely repulsed. Because you don't want to be in a relationship where you feel like you need to change someone, and you also want to be in a relationship where you feel that intense desire for someone as well. Then there's this idea of like, okay, so you've got the ick, you have to work out what level of ick you are and why it's happened, and then if it's worth trying to salvage the relationship and work through it, Like

are you overreacting? For example, if the ick has something to do with their personality, like maybe it's something they do. Maybe it's the fact that they take their clothes off and drop in the corner. Oh my god. Somebody messaged in onto the Facebook group and said that she was dating a guy who used to bite his own toenails after he'd been walking around all day. I was like, that, shit's a break up a bull offence right there? Also, how flexible is he? Yeah? Impressive? That is impressive. I'm

not even mad, I'm impressed. But it doesn't have to be something as crazy as that. Like a lot of people have said that they got the ick from snoring, or they got the ick because the person ate with their mouth open, or it was because the way they spoke to a waitress or a waiter at a restaurant, like the way that people treat other people. I think is a very valid reason to be instantly turned off someone.

But they are also the things that if you do still love them and you want the relationship to work, you can work on that because there are things that can change. They're little easy things, and you probably just haven't been open with your communication. You just need to say, hi, babe, get your foot out of your mouth, gets stuck in discussion. It doesn't turn me on. Yeah, and I do. I do agree with this, I really, I mean, and we'll always be advocates for communication. We think that that's the

most important thing in a relationship. But I also think secondly, like before we just jump out and say, oh, well, if you feel like this, then you should jump ship. Okay, I know I said it's okay for you to do that if you want to, but I will say before you do, just jump ship. Something that I think is really important is that feelings are fleeting, and you are

not your feelings. And I've said this before, but I think sometimes we almost pay too much attention to how we feel at a certain time, and the way you feel today may not be the way that you feel in two weeks time. And I think that you know, be conscious of the fact that feelings are very dynam feelings can shift, and I mean there's even times in long term relationships where you may be turned off your

partner for whatever reason. But that doesn't mean that you can't come full circle and be attracted to your partner again. It just takes effort, it takes communication, it takes getting back to a good place. But yeah, feelings really are dynamic, and they change all the time, and they shouldn't be what you totally base the decision off, especially not a rash and quick decision. If you're one of those people, if you're listening now and you're like, oh my god,

this is me. If you're one of those people that actually gets the ick a lot, and you enter a relationship and it's frequent and you're like, why does every

guy turn me off? You need to look a little bit deeper, and chances are you might actually have some commitment issues or there might be something more deep seated there on your end, because it's not normal to get the ick consistently or like most people get it once or twice in their life, but if you're getting it every time, you need to be like, Okay, am I not giving this guy a chance? Am I? Am I calling the shots way too soon? Do I have a

commitment issue? Is it me that actually is finding an excuse because I don't want to open myself up to hurt or to feel love or you know, so you have to look at yourself and think, Okay, can we work through this? And do I want to actually try and work through this with this guy? Or are you just going to breakup with him because he didn't stack the dishwasher right yeah? Or are you suffering from this

idea of the grass is always green? Or I think we often compare our relationships and the guys that we start dating to our friends boyfriends, or what we see on Instagram or what we can see on social media, or what we think we could get or what we think could be better. And I do think that this constant comparison can really be the undoing, especially in early relationships. Also,

second to that, comparing somebody to your ex. We've had this conversation before, but I think it's a really important one as well, Like, you're never ever going to have the intensity of feelings with somebody that you just met as what you're going to have for someone who you had a sustained relationship with, And so you're only robbing yourself of the ability of having a great relationship if you go into every new relationship comparing it to your

ex and what you've felt for them. Comparison is the thief of joy. Favorite saying comparisons the fief of joy. I think, just to really wrap it up, even if it does seem logical, your intuition really is a powerful thing. It disconnects your whole body, your mind, your spirit, and you do need to trust it and listen to it in every single circumstance. So really get in tune with your body. Masturbate guys, and that's a wrap, all right, Guys.

We never end an episode without our suck and our sweet and as much as we did a bit of complaining at the beginning of this episode, we still have some highlights. Yeah, but the complaining is not over. Well, strap yourselves in, guys, Britt, what is your suck? My suck would have to be. I worked really late into I told you how much I worked. This is such a minor thing, but I was more. Yeah, I worked really late. Right. I get home midnight. Then I had to get back up and be at work at seven.

So I get back up a quarter to six, so I get like four and a half hours sleep. I'm going to work for a seventeen eighteen hour shift. I'm so tired. I have a triple shot coffee in the car. I make it. I'm driving to work and I know that I've got this eighteen hours ahead of me. I get, I park my car. I walk like a zombie into the hospital. I get in there and I realize that I left my coffee in the car. Now, this is the smallest thing, but I had tears in my eyes

because I was so emotionally drained. I was like. I looked at my sister and I was like, she's like, what's wrong. I was like, my coffee. She's like what. I'm like, it's in the car. And that was so far away, and it was raining, and that was my suck. I was like, I was convinced that I can't get through this without that coffee. That was I was so beside myself and it's so ridiculous, But you know, when you're fatigued, the smallest thing just sets you off. I think, Okay,

there's two parts of this one one. Part one is that you had to then relive the when you got back in the car and saw the cold coffee cup sitting there. And two, why did you think going to someone's party at midnight when you've had so much fucking on was a good idea? That was like two nights before, because I just, you know what, I had this moment of like, I'm not living at the moment, I'm existing. Have you ever had that you would have had that feeling like, yeah, this is the last year of my

life exactly. I was parenting Brittany. I was like, I'm existing. I'm not seeing any of my friends, i am not doing anything. I'm just working to the bone. I'm going from job to job to job. So I was like, I knew I should have listened to my gut. Guys, I knew I shouldn't go out, and I did because I was like, I want to live and I want to socialize with my friends. And anyway, that was my suck. It's ridiculous. Yes, I cried because I left my coffee in the cup. Also ridiculous, But fine, we get it.

Sometimes we're vulnerable. Small things tip you over the edge. Yeah, I was. It's all right, You're you're meant to feel, You're allowed to feel. My sweet is actually I feel like it's about to happen. Guys, I don't know if you saw it's about Yeah, is this referring to Paradise about to be on tv? Because this is the longest, most drawn out thing I've ever ever experienced in my life. You know what, I'm over it already. There's no bigger example of who I am right now that you think

that I'm talking about paradise. But I'm thinking about the slice of cake I'm about to eat from your fruit. It's my sweet. That has also been a very drawn out experience of brit She walked in here wanting cake and I was like, get in the bedroom. We need to record there your butt in the bedroom. All I said, in a really sexy voice, like get in the bedroom. All I've wanted a piece of cake and I'm so excited by it and it's going to get me through

my days. What's yours? Okay, So my suck this week is that Marley had to have her one year vaccinations, which happened today. Most sweet is that I didn't have to take did That's all right? He sacrificed you for the COVID test last week. This is the least you could do. This is true. He was the sacrificial lamb today. So Marley had to go and have her Yeah, the one year vaccinations, which, like, it's very important. I'm very

happy that she could have them. But for anyone who has small kids who have been vaccinated, you know that they are just not very happy. Little criticis afterwards, So did she did she like scream the house down? Was sure? Well, Matt, So Matt took her. I ended up having to go into work, but Matt took her in and she said that He said that she was a real trooper. But she was really upset when they did it, but then she got over it pretty quickly. That's the thing about kids.

They have an attention span of a fish, and something that makes them upset, they're over it in like two seconds flat. Well, yeah, it'd just be the shock for two seconds and then yeah, and then yeah, she'd like the trauma of being pinned down. Why someone literally pins you down? And I don't know, but she just had like they get like a bit of a fever afterwards and they feel a bit sick. So she's been a bit shitty today and a bit sad. So I know that I'm in for a bad night sleep tonight. So

that's my suck. My sweet is that it was her birthday. It was her birthday party, and it was so cute and it was really really small, like we just had like my family, my sister and her little boy and my like Matt's sister and brother, and like, it was just so nice to have everyone together and all the kids, and oh made me feel like such a parent. I still can't. I just still can't believe she's one. It's just mind blowing. I can't believe we've been doing this

podcast for so long. I also, guys, cannot believe that we have almost hit two a million. Oh my god, can you believe how quickly that has happened. It's crazy. It has rolled around so fast. So since February we would have done two million. We're gonna go out. We're going to celebrate two million. Thank you to everybody who

has been listening to the podcast. Thank you to everybody who has supported us from day dot, and to every single person who sends us messages and reviews and just tells us what a difference this podcast has made in their life. Means so much to us, and we know that it's made a difference to you because you tell us. And can you guys imagine Laura's actual two million speech If this is the Walmart She's getting aulterary and I'm like, babe,

we're not even there yet. No, but the part of this is like doing the thing that has made us keep on doing this podcast week in and week out for the past year. Like we've done this through brit having crazy work schedules. We've done this through me giving birth and having a baby, done it and surving last year of our yeah, surviving the first year of parenting, through you doing another reality TV show. I've had some big, big life events in this time, and you, Laura, have

shown up every week. Look now I'm getting emotional that the reason why we do it is because so many of you have message to say what a difference it has made to your life, especially to some of you who've gone through breakups or we've gone through some difficult times in your relationships, and that to us means the world and that is the only reason why we keep doing it every week, and because we have so much fun doing it as well. Yeah, the end, guys's definitely

not the dollar value. On that note, if you have loved this episode, please leave us a review, hit five stars and share the love because we love love.