The best of THE PICKUP - 23rd July

Life Uncut Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander people's today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

Hello and welcome to the Life on Cut podcast. I'm Laura, I'm.

Mitch, and I'm Forritty and everyone is very confused. Well, this is our radio show. Is where we package up the best bits of the pick up bring them right here so you don't have to listen to the whole show live.

We had a pretty eclectic week this week, didn't we have.

We have a lot of fun, you know what. We just pay each other out the whole time and.

Then call it radio.

Yeah, we're the three best friends we ever had. All right, Well, on this week's episode. On this week's show, I talked about it very embarrassing, not very embarrassing, just like a really awkward small talk moment. I think there's all always moments in life, like getting a papsmere where you've got make small talk, or like I don't know, give me another.

Either way, but it's it's I find it awkward small talk when it's like not maybe not the situation, but you know when you're walking down the street and you're like, hey, how are you, and you're like good, how are you? They're like good and you and you're like damn it?

You know, do you stop or do you keep walking?

You just do the high high If someone says how are you, that's good. That's why. If you're crossing someone in the street, you just say hi. You don't go how are you? There's no time for a reply.

No, yeah, just I blink five times.

And you should reminded me. I'm just gonna go row and tell your story here. I just thought of this right now, probably like a week only a week ago. I was I just got Delilah back, and I was walking up the road, like a really busy road, and I saw someone on you on the up side of the road. But I don't know them well. I just

I start there for like twelve minutes. I couldn't get across the road.

And then we kept like awkwardly looking at each other. They wanted to get on with their date night. I just ended up going I'll see you later and I just walked home alone.

All right, Well, I mean that is pretty awkward, but I think I have topped it. I think I have found the most awkward moment to have small talk. I did it on the weekend and it was fucking horrible.

Okay, well I have, like I've said, I'm in my health and wellness Era, my gup, I'm in my gweneth Era.

What was your hot girl song you're playing just before?

Oh?

Can I play it? Will you guys get copy written stricken?

Probably five second copy stricken?

Is that all you've got?

I don't know somewhere around there right, this is my only ever just play a little time.

Did your podcast too.

If you know? Of course, I know, I'm just adding some drama. I know you're not going to get copy written stricken. You're the biggest show in.

The world, which is probably even more right.

This is my hot girl song, like this is picture me Mitch cheery, gorgeous body walking inactive wear, head to toe Lulu lam and this is what I'm playing on my AirPods. Yes, I don't care. I'm been my pretty girl.

You love?

This is so ye me just wait ready.

This is brief.

We played five seconds now.

That's fine. I'm yeah, this is my it's my theme song.

Can I say?

There are so many lifers in my dms, like, hey, have you got cock yet?

They're also into it.

They're very invested, especially in a breakup, have you because you've not told me that exactly yet.

I haven't and I haven't got asked yet. I've done nothing.

That's a shame.

I I've getten hit on left, right and Santa, you could have it any night you want.

Yeah, the dms are not so. I'm enjoying the d ms, but I haven't got the orifice or yet. That'll get copy written.

The stricken.

Thank you for the time, the details, and when you do get orifice or pole. I hope that we are the first people, the.

First I have joined a gym.

Anyway, something awkward happened with me and my personal trainer, and it was it was when you say a lie or you get kind of you kind of say something that's not true, but then it goes that awkward period of time that you can't then change it, Like I've told him something factually incorrect about me.

Yeah, and then you just stick to it forever.

Oh yeah, yeah, you have to die.

On that hill totally.

And it's now gotten to the point where I can't go back and change what I've told him, but he believes this to be truth.

Ah, so bad. I think you just get a new PT trainer.

Yeah, I think so yeah, or move countries.

Well.

I have big news about the brand new series of The Bachelor in America. It is the most progressive, wildest casting that they have ever had, and I reckon it's going to be the best season yet and it.

Is a white man. There's so much more on the show. We hope you guys love it. I discovered over the weekend that I am old I stopped, look, try and make it a little bit more convincing. Miss I discovered I'm old, and I made this discovery, and it's something that you also maybe make will make the same discovery. I was in the middle of reading an article and it said that if you hold your phone and scroll through apps using your index finger, not your thumb, you're old.

Finger, you're not old, you're middle aged.

I think I'm heading into the older.

How old you actually label it?

I'm thirty seven, guys, but I'm old at heart.

We get did you get a heart check? You? Okay? I am.

I scroll with my thumb. I'm a thumb scroll as.

Everyone scrolls with their thumb. It's not it's not Moses etching into the ten commands.

I hold it with my left hand and I scroll with my index hold it like this and I click it up and then I scroll with one.

Why do you know why?

And this is not a dig at you. This is someone that knows you like the back of my hand. It's because you only do one thing at a time. You can't concentrate, so you've got two hands to use it, but most people are doing things simultaneously, so they're scrolling with their thumb.

I love that you think this, but according to this article, it's just because I'm pretty much a boomer. But there was something else that happened to me. It all kind of came to a head on the one weekend, so we went out for a staff dinner for Tony May. I have a couple of employees who are in their early twenties and they're all on Hinge, and they're on Bumble, and they're on Tinder, and they're doing the dating apps.

A Christmas bonus, give me your Tinder.

No, So, there was this boy on Hinge and I was replying for my staff Julie. Yeah, I was he's twenty one. I was riding back for her. She wanted to meet up with him, and I sent a little message.

One letter at a time. Did it take you an hour at a How are you with my finger?

I sent a message and I showed it to her, and she looked at me, and she goes, what the hell is wrong with you? She's like, how many emojis and capital letters are you going to use? In the one paragraph? I sent like a crying laughing face and then a couple of exclamation marks, and like, you know, obviously.

I wrote doughnut water.

I wrote a sentence, but I expressed my emotions through the emojis, which is what they're there for. Apparently old people do that.

I love an emoji. I emoji Lefrence, and I only communicate with my partner Bend with emojis. We don't actually talk.

Well, this might actually mean that you're a boomer now And if you use the crying laughing face too often, you're certainly an old person.

And I just say something on behalf of the gen z of the show. Yes, I am oh.

He's angry about it.

I am okay, let's give it. Let's give it. I'm born ninety five. I'm by gender all I can. I can be gen z or I can be millennial, and you're bi generational, and I identify as gen z. And let me tell you this is how you know you're old. I haven't used an emoji since they first came out.

I tested them day one, called bullshit.

Yeah, because I'm trying to I speak your LANGUAGEXT.

Messages on airlight Okay, Nope, that was me that sent that. That sent that on me, and there's none on me.

I don't use emojis. Point one, that's how you know you're old.

Point two, gen zs gen ztters us do not capitalize letters. I've gone so far as to turn it off in my settings auto capitalization.

Everything's lower case.

Why would somebody intentionally go out of their way to use bad grammar.

I don't understand bad grammar. It's the way we have a normal conversation. If I capitalized the start of every word while we spoke dumb, you don't.

Go on go on three months ago, shockface, I didn't send that. You only capitalize the first letter of the sentence, not every word. Why why it's.

A country like Australia, Why.

Are gen Z not doing that because it's a conversation.

We don't. We don't care. You Gottas care too much, gen Z don't care.

Yeah, we care about education.

It's important.

I'm educated. Thank you. And also I'll say I use that emoji because I was talking too much. I knew who my audience was. When you talk to an old person, you go, how was cyre?

They I don't get and I will never.

I am never gon to dumb myself down. These little kidlets that are running around thinking it's not cool to punctuate and use capital letters. I'm sorry. You go for a job and write a CV and don't use grammar. And see how that far that gets? I kind of speak, See how far I gets you?

Well?

Right emoji?

What what I I Am getting from this is that Britt, you are also old?

Yes, thank you in the lowercase. As you know, I've been lifting that iron at the gym.

You're in your hot boy era.

I'm in my hot boy.

Era, in your fitness era, health era. You are unstoppable, tenkilas down.

I'm going to the gym twice a week. I got my cellf a personal trainer. Who the hell am I?

I know?

Do you know what somebody who's committed to the cause. Eleven kilos? Don't you wrong yourself?

Thank you? I've got that one. That was the poof that I did this morning.

It doesn't count.

I am.

My personal trainer is a lovely guy named Lee. To be honest, I thought it was a woman at first. When I turned off, I'm like, where is she? And it was a man named Lee. Like oh, because just because of the name, yeah, I was expecting a woman. But it was a man. So Lee is my personal trainer, and the most horrific thing has happened, and I need to sort of brainstorm some ideas of how I can get out of this mess that I've entited.

What happened.

So, you know, a personal trainer sits there with you and they count your reps while you're doing We're doing a lap pull down, so the bar above your head, you pull it down.

Here, we got it.

You don't have to talk about it. You're doing an exercise.

We're doing an exercise and he's standing there in his counting one to ten and he's sort of going, why are you here? Talk to me about why you want to be at the gym.

Because this is what you do when you get in your hairdress there getting your pet, you give them all your life in fun totally.

You want to know any your goal. Yeah, and Jim's very It's always incited by something, you know. And for me it was the breakup and I went through a couple of months ago with my long term partner. I've spoken about it at length on the show. And he goes to me, oh, you've been through a breakup.

I went yeah.

Four.

So I pulled the chin down talking about the breakup.

He went six.

You know, we're getting to ten reps. I'm exhausted. I'm not really focusing, you know, like I'm thinking about getting to ten reps.

So I take a breath.

And relax, concentrating nine and he goes, so with the breakup, did you break up with your missus or did she break up with you? Ten? Droped the weights and I went, oh, I broke up. I break up with her. It was me who broke up with her. My partner was a man.

Why did you so?

Now he thinks that you were in a heterosexual relationship with com.

How long ago did this happen?

Two weeks ago is my third week of training. I've got a session tomorrow, and at.

No point you've cleared up. At no point have you said I'm gay.

Hey, yeah, after we do the sit down roller. Remember how I told you I had a girlfriend. H I actually have a boyfriend.

Right now, I'll bring it out. Okay, So it's been two weeks. I'm only assuming there's been more conversation about it. Have you just been rolling with the yeah she did.

This, she did that.

It's gone too deep. I'm like, yeah, it was her ovaries that really got me.

In the end, I don't know what to say.

Okay, So has it come up again and you've continued.

With the lie.

He hasn't brought up a herb. But anytime we talk about my ex, I just said, it's.

Implied it was a woman.

Oh yes, they do.

I call him and air this out on on air.

I know, because the relationship is really good and the PT is great. We have great session, probably because you think some one of the bros.

Do you Okay, he was sure that he's not going to treat you any different if he finds out that your ex was actually a boy.

No, no, of course. But it's one of those things that's gone on so far that I actually think it's probably safer and easier.

Not big anymore. I commit to the course and.

Go all the Well, I don't have Tinder yet, so maybe I can download and just switch to women and we'll try on.

People are calling through.

I think they're trying to make me feel better, Melinda, Hi, did you get caught in a lie?

Hi?

Mitch, thank you for having me on.

Yes, I have.

Well, it's still kind of going a little bit. But I got down to my local cafe shops and I ordered a coffee about twelve months ago, and I ordered it on oat milk, but the guy serving was really cute and he gave it to me on full cream milk. And the thing is, I'm lactose in no.

Yeah.

So it's like it's a mess, honestly, like and I just can't help it. I get mesmerized and I just go with it. And he's like the regular and.

I'm like, yes, then you go to work and just shoot yourself plactic she'll die, but she's like, yes, yes, that's surely in.

This instance you can just say, hey, I've changed my milk and then get him to update it.

Melinda.

It's all like he's the way like, you know, he's sitting there propping and start propping.

He's propping.

I don't know that helps.

For Melinda, but not me, Hey Lee, I've changed my sexuality.

Sometimes people realize they're gay and they do change.

It, all right, How long did you continue the life for? These?

Calls are great?

Hi Ella Ella? How long did you.

Continue the life for hey guys?

A deeply uncomfortable scenario. I have a family that I regularly bump into at the shops who have mistaken me for their children's swimming coach a very long time ago.

I'm talking like over ten years, and every time I see them, they ask me more questions about the sister I do not have and my love life, which is just I just have to make stuff.

Up all the time.

It's so bad.

Because you've just gone too deep. You can't after years. Spoiler, it's not actually me.

Why did you play along with it in the first place?

I think I was too flustered.

I just had to.

Also such a niche coach, sec.

I've never coached swimming in my life.

Can you swim?

I can swim okay, but I wouldn't be teaching kids.

Close so good?

Do you know?

I This is reminded me when I worked at a hospital a while ago. I had a lady that called me Bridget. She called me the wrong name and I just let it go at the start, and then it got too deep and I couldn't correct a. She came in so confidently Bridget, great to see you. Two years I let her call me Bridget.

I had to quit.

I couldn't just go and tell her I had to quit. Would be walking down the corna and she's like, Bridget, what up?

And all my who's she talking to?

And I was like, it's a long story, don't I don't have time to explain. It comes close.

I'm Bridget, all right, So I'm just going to be straight from now on at the gym. Is that where we're going to land?

And then that's the best.

Yeah, it's the best Outcomefany, you need a new trainer, you know you're straight.

To be honest, I really did think the head to tell Lulu lemon and quiffed hair before every training session was a dead giveaway.

And the fact that you're on grinder whenever you finish your set not true.

You know, I am so excited for our next guest because you know how much of a Real Housewives Oh year that I am Real Housewives of Melbourne is my favorite for.

Your goal to be a real housewife.

Oh yeah, I'm working. I'm working, real hard, real and a housewife. Geiniliano. If you know Housewives, you know she's the krem Dela Creme of reality contestants.

I mean, this is some of her best works.

I'm dealing with fat not fricktion I have in trying to reason, rationalize, or have a conversation with someone who then later recalls their demented, meshed version of what you said. When I'm sober, put the alcohol down and get some clarity back, Jane Darling. As much as I love you, I can't be bothered with you anymore. Oh she's so good.

Lena.

Welcome to the show.

Jenna, Hi, thanks for having me.

Welcome to the show. Well, you've recently said that your time on Real Housewives that it was.

Sold destroying, soul destroying.

Yeah, like what happened? Why was it so terrible?

Oh?

Look, I think it was just it was game on, and it was game on from the start to the finish, and you just would not know what was going to happen. As soon as those cameras rolled, the person you were talking to five minutes before had morphed into something else. So it was quite stressful. It was really only from that perspective. But I did love it. I enjoyed it immensely.

I must say, how did you feel watching it all back?

I hate watching myself. Everyone feels like that. I hate watching myself or hearing myself. I'm like, oh, there's a cringe factor. So I'm my own worst crucie, I think, and I don't think anyone can say anything worse than what I'm thinking about myself as well. Everybody to it every time.

Well, listen, people who've been missing Gina like I have from Real Housewives can get her in her brand new iHeartRadio exclusive podcast. It is Judge Gina. This thing is It's genius, mes Gina is I didn't even play a sound effect. Gina's doing that down the phone. She's if you didn't realize you're an actual practicing criminal barrister.

I love this idea. Where did this come from? Is this something you've wanted to do for a while?

So I think, well, I mean, I did a pilot with some foxtail a few years ago. I'm talking like eight years ago and that never really took off. But I think just I'm naturally gravitating to an entertainment version of what my profession is because I love entertaining love my profession, so the two go hand in hand, and I think it's a good of fun.

Well, Gina, thank god you're here today because we have an issue that we need to settle in the court of the pickup.

Oh, I don't know where this is going, but.

I'm no do Laura? And please can you wait to be spoken to? We've entered the court of law.

Well, can I just say, Gina, we might need your professional expertise he because there is an issue. We haven't told Laura what we're doing, but Brittany and I have a case that we like to bring towards Laura.

So if there's a way that you want us to organize.

This, how did I become?

Who's the complainant? Who's the applicant?

We Mitch Churrying myself are the plaintiffs. We would like to present our case to you now if we may have say thirty seconds, Yep, I'm going to.

Give you thirty second now, Okay, Laura Burn.

Has a really bad habit of never wearing shoes everywhere. She walks everywhere, and her feet are completely dirty at all times. I'm talking for us, dirt, soil in between the toes she walks in. She puts her feet onto the table. She picks up chips with it. She picks up pens with her feet, her toes and toast.

I once went to the high five Laura, and instead of her hand, it was her foot. She was very sweaty, and and there was a toe crumbs that went onto my hand. Now I've got Golden staff infection and plant to water.

I still have it. I still have an imprint of Laura's foot on my car door. I have it on my court car window and on my face.

She makes good money, She's got children, she has no reason to not be wearing shoes. Yet she continues to come in and do this daily radio show without any shoes.

She has tot fungus.

What do you want to happen?

I think what we what we asked?

What is for Laura to wear a pair of bright pink crocs every day?

I will happily wear them. I wear shoes to work, but when I'm sitting at my desk. I take them off. Why Because I'm a creative person. I find it far more comfortable to sit cross legged on my chair.

Off.

Yeah, because it would be very rude to put dirty shoes on a chair.

So I just put my clean but my dirty feet, my feet.

They are not clean.

I can see the dirty I can see them now clean feet.

Actually there's no circulation down there.

I know they're very white. I sometimes touched brit with my feet.

The only have you ever high foot me?

No? I've never high footed you once.

You like that, So, judge, we need a verdict. Where do you stand on Britt Mitch via the foot.

I think you need to wear shoes. Yes, yes, you should be wearing shoes, and I think you weak with hot pink crocs on. Will be your punishment?

Yeah, no's going to the judge.

That's a judge.

What happens if I don't do it, You've got a prison.

There will be a harsh ruling handed down to you. You can take your shoes up only when you're sitting on the chair, but otherwise hot pink crocs for a week.

So I'm currently sitting on the chair and I don't have my shoes on. And I feel like this is a safe face. Gina.

Thank you so much. We're going to have to cut you off there because Laura is going to continue to fight her argument after the verdict has been handed down.

I couldn't agree more. Genialiano, a judge Gina is available on the iHeart app or wherever you get your podcasts.

I feature on the podcast that episode Can you do Well?

Yeah you do, And Laura, there's a little story that you're attached to as well. Thank you, Genealiano, thank you, thanks for having me.

Love you. You know, there's one thing that everybody hates.

Oh yep, just one, just.

One thing, every single person out they hates it.

We can all agree, and let's all say at the same time.

Sonny small talk. Oh yes, small talk. We all have to do it at different times. No one's particularly good at it, and everybody hates it.

To be honest, a.

Bunch of radio announces you think I'm pretty I excel with small talk.

I'm great at small time.

Yeah, but no one likes doing it, no one. No one would put down on their resime excellent. Making small talk.

Kind of gets me going. I really enjoy small talk.

You guys and both, it's because she talks so much, continued Laura.

Okay, So I had and look I can do it. Do I love it? Do I thrive in the environment of small talk? Probably not? But I had possibly the world's most awkward small talk. Where was it that has ever happened? So? I had my girlfriend's hen's party on the weekend, and part of that hen's party was we had a stripper in a very very small, little who by one room. We were doing karaoke.

What are you doing with a stripper in a two by one?

So we were in doing we were doing karaoke in a phone booth in a tiny room, toilet cubicle, Yeah, karaoke. The music goes off in he walks with the speaker and he's quite a good looking young Brazilian man, like this is probably the most attractive striper I've ever seen. And then he starts doing his thing and gets down to nothing as they do. But I mean like nothing. I was not prepared for how much of a stripping little situation we were going to.

Everything was out.

Oh yeah, she was shocked.

The stripper stripped right, Yeah, but no one prepares you for what happens next. You kin'd of expect the stripping part, but no one expects for when he's finished, he turns the music off. Yeah, you're all sitting there in a quiet karaoke room and he has to just get dressed, so he's to leave.

To leave, Oh, you've all just like groped him and laughed.

Everyone's laughs. It's all been high energy. And then he asks for his money, so you hand him cash and.

Then he's he's then transfer bro putting his.

On and then he gets to get another singlet because he's ripped his singlet in half. And then you have to sit there and make small talk with the guy. And I was like, Hi, so how long have you been in Australia for? Do you buy your singlets in Bok packs?

Oh my god? You're like, so what else do you do with your time?

I was like, what do you do when you're not stripping on a Saturday night? He was like, I'm a carpenter.

Oh we had naked.

For you're getting the bus home. You'll be cold, just that g string? Can you top this small talk?

This is Laurie, you made.

It just just like say thanks for your service.

And then sitting there in silence while he puts his clothes on, makes it seem so dirty. I was making small talk and I was trying to establish that I was a mum because I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. And I was like, I was like, oh, yeah, you know I have kids, and I was like, but they're not traveling yet. It was horrible.

Oh my god, my deaf. What happened with your awkward small talk?

Oh, it's just I just find it so awkward every time I'm getting laser done. The legs are fine when you're doing your under arms five, but as soon as you get to the Brazilian it just gets awkward. And you're like, so the weather's some good today?

Always so awkward, especially for you're the butthole.

Well they're there with your bum cheeks spread apart, and they're like, oh, you had a bit of a heat wave recently, have we? And you're like, why have I got hate?

Rash Alina's coming? Damp and human? All right? Bianca? Hello, what happened with your awkward small talk? Was it bad?

Bianca?

So I was walking along, I needed to go to the bathroom, struck up a conversation with a lady and she walked into the bathroom with me, and she just kept going and I needed to go to the actual bath room.

We can read between the lines, Yep.

I just needed to focus and do my saying, girl's got hemorrhoids, babe, I need to focus. I need to working it right, yep. And she just kept going, and I was like, bathroom medicate, lady.

Come on, nobody wanted to do that, hey, Like, why would you awk when people? I guess it's to cover the sounds, right.

But nobody wants to have a chat while they're doing a poo to a stranger.

Oh god, No, that's that is mortified.

I could do it easily, but I am a professional at small talk, and I can multitask.

Sometimes I just I open TikTok really loud and then play play, play some videos so that no one can hear the pop.

No, because that's even weirder. There's nothing weirder than hearing someone listening to things on their phone a public toilet.

It's better to be if there's three cubicles and there's people doing poops, it's better to have some background music playing. The dead silence and just.

Plops are not that delicate, Okay, this took a really weird, weird turn. Just because you're good at small talk doesn't mean that there's areas or places that it should be done. One of them is in the toilet.

Guys, there is huge news in the Bachelor world. And when I say the Bachelor world, I mean the TV show The Bachelor. Laura, you fell of your life, I got dumped on National TV. We've all been there.

I've watched it.

I'm familiar with the format.

Yes, well, they've been trying a lot of things over the years, you know, mixing it up a little bit. There is a brand new format that I reckon is the golden ticket to The Bachelor, because let's.

Be real, the ratings on that show, they haven't been incredible recently.

I think it still does reasonably well overseas, but within Australia it's been struggling.

Oh last year. Well in America. On the ABC, they've just announced a brand new Bachelor and they have called him the Golden Bachelor. The reason he's called the Golden Bachelor is because it's for people in their sunset years of life. It is for the older people to go and find love again. Now they've announced Grandpa Jerry Turner, who is seventy one years old.

Such a grand button. Can I show you him?

He's actually so handsome looking.

Oh my god, he's got hearing it.

He's seventy one. He married his high school sweetheart and she passed away in twenty seventeen, so they were married for forty three years. You know, he's a bloody good man. You know he loves relationships. You know, he's he's loving and caring. He's very handsome. Probably spend a little bit too much time in the solarium, but apart from that, everything's channeling Donald Trumpy vibe.

But he's huge. It's just golden. I think it's the filter they're put over him. Although I would like to say that if I look like this at seventy one years old, like literally, if I look exactly like him at seventy one, I'm doing well.

I'd be sold.

Okay, we'll have a listen to this.

He doesn't have gray hair, he has wisdom highlights. Florida wants to retire and move to him. He's Gary, and I'm your first golden Bachelor.

And Gary just shuffles out with his zimmer frame.

Bless him.

And he's fitting yard and I just pulled my shelf and I need to be cleaned up.

Please.

No, guys, he's got two daughters and two granddaughters and he wants to fall in love again after mourning his we bbe.

He doesn't want to fall because he's at high risk.

I think this is amazing, because you know what, love is not just for the young and the beautiful. Everybody needs a bit loving.

What I think this could work down? Ander?

I reckon we could get like John Farnham as the Aussie Golden Bachelor.

Isn't he married? Yeah?

Well, Hollywood loves that don't last Cashy, Oh my god. Goshi just retired from Sunrise. Maybe he's going to the sunset of his life. He's going to be the Aussie Golden Bachelor.

That's something like Russell Crowe.

No, he's also in long term relationship. You guys are hopeless weaving.

Doctor carl Oh.

Doctor Carle, He's what about seventy five? I think he could be good. But is he married? Has anyone done their research? A few people are married. You can't just thrown back in the middle.

Do you know what, even if they are married, they may be unhappily married. And Bachelor could be their new ticket. So Sunset year that they're.

Instead of giving the people roses, does he just give them like cowtrait pills. They just get osteoporosis medications to thee. They get blood thinners instead of a rose.

They get that little white cup full of bills. I pick you, here's your ash Brooden.

Do you accept this life? Jerry?

They're talking to a wall. I pick your sweetheart, Jerry. That's that's a marble mannequin.

I'm going to call it no offense, Laura. I reckon this is the best Bachelor.

They've ever had.

Yeah, look, I'm not contemplating it.

Though, terrible.

Do you does? Everyone want to watch very close with a camera right there as seventy year old man making out with granny.

They're not going to be making They're going to be pecking.

Maybe they don't. I reckon that these dirty dogs get down.

You're right, you know, yeah, the highest amount of comedia in Australia.

I'm not joking.

He's in Koala's Mitch afters because.

They're all going at it and then they forget.

They do it so they do it nine times a day.

Don't forget they just don't care anymore.

I can't wait to watch this fil This is going to be fantastic.

I would love to speak to man producer Tony.

Can you get him?

Let me get Tony. Thank you, that was easy much But I want the golden batchelor.

Just say we've got putting in mashed bananas and you rush into the studio.

You stop it, Jerry, if you're listening, if you can hear me through the hearing aids, I support you, and I'm.

All about this. Okay, I'm not enjoying this. I don't know what you're about to talk about, but I feel like I'm about to be ambushed.

I just know it's not an ambush. But I had a really big realization on the weekend. Like you're an odd bot, right, we love it you are as you are.

You are a very eccentric, loud, creative individual.

Sorry, I'm not well. I'm not well.

Listen, you're a unicorn and we wouldn't have it any other way. But I went to your house on the weekend. You've moved it with your parents, so I have Mark and Michelle. Yes we love them. But I finally realized why you are like you are, your dad is next level. I knock on the door. It swings open in slow motion. Your dad is standing their towering over me, and he goes hi butes And that's how we opened the door. And I haven't seen Mark in a while. And I was like, oh, and I don't know why. I just

Well, that's what my dad does. He's catchphrase he has. He's a corporate, he works from home. He's a corporate.

Humans have catchphrases. So that's what happens on sitcoms. Your dad is a living sitcom.

Dad says everyone he walks down, you know, walking down the beach bag, Hey, hey, bitch does he called me.

A bitch five times? He was just like, hey bitch, what's up? Bitch means one hundred percent. It was so funny. So I start talking in an American accent, and all of a sudden, he's like a homeboy, I'm doing an American accent. We fell into our own sitcom. We fell into a skit, and no one it was an unmentioned skit. No one said let's do a skit. We started doing a skit. Anyway, We walk into the house and it is just your Your face is everywhere. It's a shrine

They're very oud of you.

They are.

Then you know how Mitch can't concentrate on anything for like two seconds. Mark, your dad is in a very serious Zoom meeting. He's a big CEO.

He was on a meeting.

I could see the people. They're about twelve little people on the screen. He just gets up, get a meta borz, gets up, walks away, and I was like, oh, he's just gonna say hello and hang out with us for a while. He left the Zoom meeting to hang out with us for about twenty minutes. He invited himself on our walk. I think he only spoke in riddles and one liners. I don't think he's strung one sentence together.

It was just like those people are still sitting on that Zoom meeting, wha come back redundant.

They're still waiting, very very like gag gag, gag, gag gag gag. And I was trying to keep up and it was so much energy. We'd pitched ideas to each other. By the end of the day, I think we were starting businesses together.

What's your point you think you can?

I just understand finally where you came from and how you are who you are, because your entire family is you. Yeah, sense, yeah, well he's as crazy as you.

When you left, Dad said to me that night, because obviously we went for a walk and then I came home late at night and it's like, oh, mate, Bridge today was lovely. Oh yeah, BRIT's gorgeous. She went, don't you think mate that.

When we were talking? And I go yeah, He goes, well, mate, she.

Was just real flirty.

Hey, oh dad flirting with with sie year old man or the gay best friend.

Flirtingly?

Maybe you weren't supposed to match the energy. Maybe it was that you were matching the energy. He took it the wrong way.

He thought, do you think I was hitting on him? He does, Mark, Sure, wash your mouth at in your wildest He goes.

What she was wearing as well?

Straight man, You wouldn't get it, mate, she was flirting like she was were.

I had tiits onto my ankles and a jumper.

He thought you were going you thought you wanted to be my mum.

I shook it.

To the core. Oh, yeah, I can't come home anymore, Mitch.

How would you feel if I was your dad started dating and it was like mummy, mummy, Brittany.

I love it about it at night, Oh my god, I got me out of house and home.

Oh well, ode to the churies and then on the flip side. That's how crazy they are. Then Laura on Dancing with the Stars. I come home the other night. Daddy is crying eating a cornetto watching Laura be eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

Because he saw my ass on TV and thought I was flirting with him as well.

I love your daddy, You.

Not love you, to be clear like you Marke.

We think you're fantastic.

We love him.

Laura's flatting.

Yeah, careful, Laura, he'll get the wrong idea.