Hey, guys, and welcome back to actually a very very very special episode of Life on CUD.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and.
It is special because it is our last episode of the year, guys, our last episode of twenty twenty.
Merry Christmas, Happy Years, Sydney. What the fuck is going on?
And we're sorry, what is happening right now?
The world is on fire and everything's going to shit in the hand basketball.
Once again, it just sucks like we just as Australia as a whole, we almost got to the point where we were leading the world in beating coronavirus and then I feel like it is imploded. In the last week. Everyone's Christmas plans have gone out the window. Everyone's in panic mode. There's no toilet paper again. I don't know why people keep buying so much toilet paper. COVID doesn't make you shit yourself.
We're in Sydney, We're in that.
We're in the hotspot, Guy in the center, We're in the red zone. I mean, we discussed this earlier in the year about the whole toilet paper thing. You're at home, you don't need toilet paper. You can get in the shower, It's fine.
There's lots of other options when you need to wipe your backside. If you don't have any hundred.
Percent, if you've got a backyarden, you've got a hose, you're good. I actually don't understand why, Like it is perplexing the panic that happens with the toilet paper.
I'm more upset about the panic that's happening around the groceries because even though I'm going to be spending Christmas this year now just mat me and Molly a tiny little Christmas, which is what we do every single night.
Of the week, It's going to be great.
I'm just more.
Upset that, like all the Christmas foods now have been totally bought out from the shops. But anyway, look, guys, if you have been affected by what's happening in Sydney and by the most recent hotspot Corona cases, then we just want to say that we are absolutely thinking of you.
I guess the only saving grace is, guys, that we're all in it together. So many of our plans got canceled. Laura, I know you've had like two plans canceled. You're gonna go up to the Gold Coast and then you're gonna go see your parents, and there's a lot that's happened your end. I was gonna be going up to the Gold Coast and I was going to Perth. That's all canceled.
I really feel for everyone that last minute has had that cut and taken away from them, and now you're facing the prospect of maybe being alone or maybe not being with all of your family. So we do want to just say, you know, like our thoughts are with you, and there's a lot of people in the same boat, so try to take something from that too, that you're not alone and there are a lot of people there that you can reach out to as well.
I was just gonna say it's the most like ironic end to twenty twenty. Like, of course twenty twenty was like hah, but wait, I got something at my sleep Fully I'm.
Going to start your year on fire, and I'm gonna end it with you alone for Christmas, bitch. I'm like, come on, like, what else could happen?
Actually, I was reading this very satirical, slightly depressing post that was put up by board Panda. I'm just gonna like paraphrase a few of twenty twenties highlights and this episode, guys, like just so you know what we're doing, what we're talking about, who we are, Well, my name is Laura, this is Brittany. We are rehashing twenty twenty a little bit,
well not really rehashing chans to wrap up. Yeah, and we also wanted to talk about like our resolutions, what we did for our first episode back this year, and how we spoke about our resolutions and what we really wanted.
For the year. Did we achieve our resolutions from last year. We're going to discuss that.
And then also we thought we would give you your accidentally unfiltereds because we know that you love that. We would never do a final episode without a few absolute pearls for you. And then we're going to do and ask uncut sections. We really wanted to make this final episode a little bit from all of our favorite episodes for you and just a nice kind of roundup on the year. So tell me about this article. Okay, so the article
you got so sidetracked. The article really highlighted what twenty twenty has been, but Australia basically burnt to the ground. Then Trump starched some Iranian general with a drone which almost led to World War three. Then someone made a fucking bat, then the economy almost collapsed, Prince Harry and Megan renounced their royalty.
Well, this is a lot for twenty twenty.
This is just January, of course it is, and that as we all know, we had the massive Black Lives Matters movement, which the riots and the protests in and of themselves were so powerful. But the starting point of that and what was posted on social media and George Floyd what happened to him, Like, there's just been so many huge pivotal things that have happened in twenty twenty, none of them have being particularly positive.
Still trying to find the highlight.
We've got a couple sucks here, guys, many sweets. I know that a lot of us are living in this fantasy world that's like twenty twenty one, the first of January is going to hit and where we're all going to be just thrown into this new world. I think this is probably going to continue into the new year
a little bit. Let's embrace ourselves. But I am very much looking forward to putting this year behind me, as I'm sure a lot of you are as well, and that's going to bring us to talking about our resolutions for twenty twenty one and how they're going to differ, because I think there's a lot of things. I think a lot of people's resolutions, A lot of the things we wanted to achieve from last year, we're not going
to do that anymore. Everything's going to change because a lot of them would have been about traveling or going overseas or studying new businesses.
And I think a lot of things we have to step back and reassess because of what a ship fight twenty twenty has been in. But I also think that's a really interesting chat. So we're gonna get into that later. But first I want to tell you something, please.
I really love We've been doing this for so long now, but I really love that, like you don't tell me things throughout the week because you specifically want to save it to tell me.
Live whilst recording.
I wanted to get the most raw and unfiltered reactions. I went out on the weekend, and I want to put me into premature labor I do.
I went out on the weekend, and I'm so glad I did, because it turns out it was like the first time of twenty twenty that I went out dancing, and without me knowing, it became the last time that I'll be going out dancing anyway. I had the best time I've went out with a few girlfriends. We went to dinner, then we went out to this club and I had the best time. But I got into a fight. I got into a fight with a guy. And you guys know, I'm I am a lover, not a hater.
It takes a lot to push my buttons. I'm going to wind back to the beginning. I went to a restaurant, an Italian restaurant, just three of us total. We sat down and they sat us next to a table of about ten guys. The guys were pretty cute, and I was like bingo, Like yes, so the guy that I was seated next to, because I was on the edge of my table and he was the edge on his head, but he was really cute.
And you were like, can we please skip straight to desert?
Well, we're only about half a meter away from each other. And as soon as we sit down, you can feel them looking at us. You can film getting excited. I'm talking at seven o'clock. It's not late they're not drunk.
What do you mean you can feel them getting excited. Oh, you can just take a lot of boaters happening under the table. Yeah, the energy really shifted.
It lifted by about six inches.
They straight away like said hello to us, and we're like hey, like, how are you like great like? And they're like, wow, yeah, you must have asked to be seated next to the greatest people here.
You know.
They just started just like how fun and flirting and I was like, cute. My friends were like that. One next year was really cute, and I was like, I know. Then after about five minutes, I glanced down under the table. He had no ring on. He was clearly flirting with me, and I was like, oh my gosh, like this could be something really cute and organic.
I still thought you were gonna say a glance under the table and yeah, but then I knew that I had it with the chance the combination.
Of no ring and a boner, and I knew I was in so anyway, he had no ring. They started to flirt with us, and his opening kind of like aligned to me was I had this white shirt on and it had really big, flared like long sleeves, and we're each Italian. So he looks at me and he's like, do you want me to roll your sleeves up for you? And I was like, yeah, that'd be great because I can't eat my food. So I held my hand down, he rolled my sleeves up. We had a moment. It
was really cute. He was like, you know, taking his time, and he's like, how am I doing? Like do you think I'm gonna keeper kind of thing? So flirty. The girls were like, I think this is gonna be a thing. I was getting really like great, kept flirting, they bought a shots, and it was the most organic thing that has happened to me all of twenty twenty.
Are we talking about the guy? Are we talking about the food?
The guy? The chat?
It was so easy. He was so hot. He was my type.
So he was wearing a turtle neck and he doesn't know how hot he is.
He had no idea. However, Actually that's that's like my most quoted line of twenty twenty when we had to look back. He doesn't even know how hot it is. Anyway, So they have to leave before us, because obviously, you know how you get these two hour bookings. So my guy who had been floating for ages passed me over a piece of paper with his number on it and a smiling face, and it was really cute. Now they
weren't going yet, they were still packing up. He put his number over and he's like call us later, like maybe meet up with us. We've got a table, and I was like cute. And then my girlfriend Kim, she took the number and she's like, I'm just gonna call it to see if he answers now, and I was like, why would he be giving us a bump stair. She's like I don't know. She's like something just seems not right. And I'm like, a table of guys flirting with girls
and they give us their number, what's not right? And she's like, so she dialed his number while I was still sitting there that he had just given us, and his phone didn't light up, and I was like yeah, I was like, that's weird. Anyway, she was like, well, they're leading us bumpsty and they get up to go and I just called him out and I was like wait. He's like, well, like why did you give me a
fake a number? And he's like what And I was like, I just called this number and you didn't answer, so like, don't like I know that you just gave me a fake a number and I couldn't understand. And he's like, oh, I didn't. My phone's about to die. This is Brad's number. Another guy and I was like, oh, totally fair, makes sense. He's like, yeah, so just call us. I just didn't want you to call me later. And my phone was dead. I was like, see him. I was like, you're overreacting.
Everything's fine. We go to another bar and we start to get hit on by this group of twenty year old boys. It was the worst experience of my life. So we left. I was like, it was like, you know what they said to us, I'm not kidding. This was their conversation starter, So what do you think about pineapple and pizza? And I was like I'm out. I was like, this is I cannot have this conversa.
I need to elevate the chat. I'm sorry.
Anyone this online dating, you know that that is like the most hated question that anyone starts. If you're a girl and you're opening with that line, I'm gonna give you some advice. Stop that.
We go someone walking up to you in a bar and being like, hey, two truths, one lie, and you're.
Like, we don't real life.
You don't do that real life in RL anyway, So we get it. We weren't even gonna meet the guys because they were going into the city. Then Kim, who pranked the guy, gets a message from them because they're obviously still chasing us up. This is a few hours later, and they're like, hey, we've got another table back where you guys are in the east. Come every It'll be the greatest night. Everything's free, because like they're already paid for the table.
Great.
We're like, you know what, They've come all the way back. They're pushing for us to come. They're obviously came let's go and meet them, and.
You're like, this is my soulmate, so understanding to go.
I was like, this is my soulmate. We got along so well, it was natural, and I was like I've got to give it a go. And guys, as an update, he didn't have a turtle neck on, so I was like one red flag down. So we go into this club and it's just so much fun. We're all dancing. My guy is really really flirty. I'm like a teenager. I'm like, I got like the butterflies, and I was like, this is how it's supposed to be, Like I have
missed this for all of twenty twenty. He starts like dancing with me for a while, then he starts kissing me. We're making out on the dance floor. We're having the best time. I felt like I was young, like young, and I spent twenty twenty in scrubs with COVID patients, Like I just felt like, this is how my life should be, out meeting people naturally having fun. He's like,
you are so beautiful. It's like I just when you walked in and you were sat next to me, I was just like this was meant to be, Like you were meant to sit next to me. He's like, you didn't hesitate when I started to talk to you. You had the banter back. You're funny. He's like, I haven't stopped thinking about you all night. I was like, oh my god, I've got a boyfriend.
I was like, this is so great.
I'm already trying to pick the threadf and like, what has this guy done? Why do I hate him? Why are we going to find him? In Eggy's house?
Well, I was thinking, this is it. The girls were like this is crazy that. Like my friends were like, this is crazy. And my other friend, one of the other girls I was with, was like interested in one of the other guys, and she had been interested since she saw him. They had been talking all night, they'd started making out on their own little like.
It was just I'm getting the feeling that everyone was thinking this is crazy.
It was so prettyly.
So she was making out with this guy, and she was really keen on because she's been seeing a long time as well. Anyway, We're sitting down and then I looked down at my watch to look at the time, and I realized my watch has stopped. So I say to him, do you know what the timing is? My
watch has stopped? Without thinking because he's been drinking, he pulls out his phone to check time, and on his phone I see a photo of him and a woman with his arm around her, very romantic photo in the sunset, and I just looked at it, and he clocked that I had seen that, threw his phone back in, gave me the drink, and he was like, do you want to go dance again? And I was like, what was that? On your phone?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Oh wait?
I was like, what was that? He's like, well, I was like I just saw a woman on your phone. I was like, do you have a girlfriend? And he's like, what does my sister? I'm like, that is like a fucking sister has.
A photo of them and their sister, and hey, maybe they do. Someone's gonna write to me and be like, don't hear me, but very few guys have a couple of photo of them and their sister on their screensaver.
I was like, that is not your sister. Told me the truth. And he looked at me and I was like, tell me, is that your girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend? And I had switched from like this cute fundsies girl.
Everything's crazy? Yeah, I was so crazy.
I love you.
Yeah.
I started to get really mad, but I was like, play it cool. You don't actually know yet. It could be anyone. And he looked at me and I was like, just tell me. I was like, you have no idea what I've been through. And I went like psycho woman. And he looked at me and he's like, yes, I have a girlfriend, but it's complicated. He goes, it's complicated, and I don't know what happened. I just sat there and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I can't even explain it. I don't. It was like this
animalistic thing. I just started screaming in the club, and it was out of like I wasn't screaming at him. It was you know that frustration where you just need to yell because you're so mad. I started yelling and then I looked at him and I'm not going to say what I said to him because it was full swear words.
But I said, what, okay, what the bleed?
Plea sleeping bleach?
And he goes, it's piece of bleed. But he goes, it's complicated. I'm like, tell me how it's complicated. You got a girlfriend, it's not really complication there. He's like, no, it is. I want to leave her. I don't want to be with her. It's like, I'm on the verge of leaving, but I just can't. I'm like, well you can, Like, if you're out hooking up with other people, you don't want to be with this girl obviously. How long have you been together? Like is this a fresh thing that
you don't know? How to leave, and he just looks sheepish, and I was like, tell me how long. He's like fourteen years. I was like, okay, fourteen years. She's not your girlfriend, is she she's your wife? You're not with someone for fourteen years and you haven't married them. And he's like, yeah, she's my wife. So I went even more bonkers, and I don't want to even tell you what I was saying. Then I look over to my friend who's making out with his friend. I was like,
has he got a girlfriend too? And he was like, no, no, no he doesn't. I was like, funny that because he just told me that he does. He's already admitted at a tour and he goes he did, and I was like, yes he did, and he's like fuck and I was.
Like, see he didn't, but I got it out of you.
Anyway. They all had girlfriend they all had long term partners and so backing each other up. So I went to this other guy, the friend, and I was like, how long's he had a girlfriend for? He's like, oh, he doesn't, he's so single. And I'm like, dude, he's already told me, so you may as well just out it. Like I was just so. My point was I was trying to test all the friends there because there were ten of them. They all had each other's back and
were encouraging cheating. Then he said something so so disgusting to me. Do you want to know it? Yeah?
I'm like literally sitting here, guys with my mouth white.
I was like, I'm just so. I was like, why do you all have to be such assholes? I said, you seemed so nice and how can I keep getting this wrong? He's like, no, like I want to see you kind of thing. And I was like, you're married. I was no way I would. I was like, if you knew anything about me, there's no way I would ever touch you. Then he said something to me that is the like imagine me yelling at him, saying, you've been married for fourteen years, you're discussing pig. This is
what he said to me as a finisher. And this is when I was like, I'm done. He said, I feel disgusting him saying it. He said, can I just can I just put a finger in and taste you? I can't believe they said that, And I'm saying all we had done was kiss once on a dance floor in a club and he's just told me he's married, and I looked at him, I was like, is that a sick joke?
Wow?
So what we've realized in twenty twenty guys, is that men suck. And I'm glad that we came for that conclusion altogether.
What I wanted to ask you is, if your friends were out and cheating, what's your position on that, Like would you be like, you know what that's on you to do, I'm just gonna let you go and do your thing. Or would you protect them and go along with it because they're making the decision, or would you call them out on it? Like what do you think?
Because I was just I was mortified that they were cheating, But what more mortified me was how they were all in on it together, Like was all right, he'd taken his ring off, put it on his other hand, he had told me his phone was dead and that's why he couldn't give me his number. His phone was full. They'd all organized that to say that they're all single.
It's just the enabling behavior.
I mean, I would never be in this situation because, like, I'm really good friends with my friends' partners. My friend's husbands, and I mean, obviously his friends are probably friends with them too, But I prioritize our friendship as couples as much as I prioritize our friendship individually. So I can't ever imagine, like my best friends who are married, if we were to go out there even contemplating cheating around me, because it would put the whole friendship in jeopardy. And
like there's never been any enabling behavior. I don't want to be a participant in it. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to see it. Like I assume that my friends are in happy relationships, and if they weren't, then I would encourage them to leave or to get counseling.
If you saw that your friend one of them was cheating, would you tell their partner or contact their partner.
I would approach them first, but it would be a really, really serious conversation. It wouldn't be like there's nothing about me that's going to enable my friends or be okay with my friends cheating on their partners.
This goes against everything that we've talked about from the tire year.
It really took me from like this all high and I was like back into dating, and I'll it's like excited to get back out there and meet someone because I've had like a real hiatus, and then I just like cut me off at the knees again. I just thought, why is every guy out there right now a douchebag?
Okay, not every guy out there is a douchebag, but the problem is is like, and this is something they think you need to keep him perspective when you do online dating as well, not just you, but like anyone. Online dating is like, you don't know someone's story. So if someone goes you after two dates, if someone just doesn't ride back, if you have an amazing date, then all of a sudden they're gone. You literally have no idea what's actually happening in their lives and who they
are as a person. And people can spin a whole lot of shit. And you know, even in this situation, not only did they spin shit, but all their friends did as well. Like you, really, I'm not saying that
you can't trust anyone. Obviously you can trust people, But what I'm saying is that if something doesn't work out, or you meet someone and then they fall off the face of the earth, you really need to know that that's not a reflection of you as a person, it's a reflection of them and whatever junk they have going on in their life. You would have walked away from the experience had had it not come out that way.
You would have walked away from that night thinking this guy was amazing, thinking that you'd met someone who was really special, and then if you hadn't heard back from him, you would have been really upset and thought, well, what did I do wrong?
Why didn't he text me? Well, that's what would it has your answer.
I would have ended up giving him my number because I would have been like, yes, call me, because that's the only way you can finish the night when you've been out and like cooking up with someone wanting to get to know them. You'd be like, yeah, take my number and call me. And then I just would He would have ghosted me, obviously, because he's going home to his wife of one hundred thousand years, and.
You would have been upset and thought, what's wrong with me? There's something wrong with me? And this is like, at least this is like validation once again that there is nothing wrong with you, Like that is entirely him and the way he behaves, and that's on him as well.
Absolutely.
Anyway, that was my wrap up dating story of twenty twenty. I'm sorry I didn't come to you with more success, but I was.
Just so mad, I can tell, and I'm a little bit scared of my pants from you right now.
I always say that let's talk about something more positive.
Okay, well this isn't necessarily more positive at all, but I mean, like that's really just the true spirit of twenty twenty.
Right well, I let not just be miserable.
To get that.
I feel like that makes sense. Let's talk about some accidentally unfiltered No.
No, no, no.
Before we get into accidently unfiltered, I did read something on the Facebook group which I wanted to bring up with you. So I read on the Facebook group. I'm not going to read out the post exactly, but I thought it was a really interesting conversation. A couple of you guys messaged it to us privately as well and was like, you should have this chat on the podcast.
So here I am bring in the chat, guys, bring it. Basically, what happened is one of our listeners had shared a story about how she was I don't know whether she was at a nightclub. I don't know where she was, but she was out and she was approached by these couple of guys, two guys who were like, hey, what's up, like wanted to have a chat with her, and she ignored them, and then they were clearly offended by it,
but they went on with their day. And the question that came up on the Facebook group was is it okay to ignore a guy if a guy's trying to make conversation with you, Because we often say on the podcast that we should be more open to people approaching in the wild and people starting conversation, but this girl said she completely ignore them. She didn't really want to engage. She obviously wasn't interested in them, didn't want to give
them an opener. And then she was like asking for people's opinions on that on the Facebook group, and it was a very mixed bag. Fifty to fifty people were like, no, you don't need to say hello or owe someone anything, and the other fifty percent of people were like, well, it doesn't hurt to be nice. You know, you can always be polite. And I know for a fact that you and I have very different opinions on this.
So what do you guys think our opinions are, because we do have very very conflicting opinions. What to your you say yours for?
Okay, So I think as a female, if I'm approached in the street and look, I definitely think it is a situational thing. I also think it is from case by case. So it depends on the person. It depends on the energy that you're feeling from them as well. It depends on whether you feel threatened or whether you literally just could not be bothered because you have X amount of other things going on in your life at
that time. But I genuinely don't think you owe a complete stranger anything, and that if somebody was to say like hey girl, as you're walking down the street, or to cat call you or to whatever, you don't actually owe them anything, no politeness. It doesn't make you a bad person if you choose not to reply to them.
You just don't have to see. I disagree to an extent, and I'm going to explain that before you guys at me. Of course, she doesn't owe them anything. No one owes anyone anything, especially if you don't know them. Would I respond, yes,
Do I think it's polite to respond. Yes, it'd be different if they yelled out something explicit, if they are literally if you guys are out and some guys have been like oh, a guy has been like hey, girl, whatever, yelling out at you, that is a form of opening a conversation if you if it's not sexual and it's not making you feel uncomfortable, if it's literally them just saying something to start a conversation, even if you're not interested, I would have just said hey and keep walking, because
I think it's just a normal human pleasantry when someone has opened a form of communication, not to ignore them. That's how I've been brought up. If he had said something to me that had made me feel really uncomfortable or dirty or sleazy, or I felt like I was unsafe, I would just walk past and ignore them one hundred percent. But I think there's a really fine line with us as women saying that we wantn't men talk to us?
They why don't they approach us out when we're out, and then when they do, even if it is like this, Okay, So maybe he'd been drinking, and he was probably a bit louder, and he was probably a bit more like hey, girl, like, has your know kind of fun even if you don't want to engage, Like, that's literally what we are asking for. We are asking for people to be more open and
talk to us. So I think it's pleasant and it's polite as a human to say hey, hope you're having a really good night and keep walking Inadvertently that is saying I'm not interested, but you still being a good enough human to acknowledge that they've gone out and said hello to you and say no back. I think there's a lot of ways to respond to it and show them that you're not interested.
I mean, like, look, there's parts that I agree with, and there's parts of that that I really strongly disagree with. But I mean that's the whole beauty of this conversation because like literally on the Facebook it was split fifty to fifty. I think that sometimes by saying hello back to someone and giving them any in it, then can
give off this impression that you're interested. And I know that there's been loads of times where I've been at with my girlfriends, I've probably been hit on that day, or I've had a situation where I.
Didn't want to engage, and.
Then I've had someone come up and try and like make conversation, and like, I know that they're making conversation because they're interested in me, but I'm not interested. I don't want to have a conversation with them. To me saying like, hey, I'm not interested, like that could be seen as a shutdown, and that could be seen as
being impolite. But like, I don't want to put my energy into someone to open up a conversation with someone when I know it's absolutely not going to go anywhere, and I want to funnel my energy into the people
who I've chosen to spend my night with. I also think that there's so many situations where women do feel threatened by men calling out, by men approaching by like groups of men trying to like, you know, talk to one girl or calling out from across the street, and it's like, who are we to say that, hey girl, or whatever the cat call is or whatever the conversation starter is, isn't something that they found threatened threatening, Like maybe that person felt threatened purely by having a male
approach them in an environment that they didn't feel comfortable in, for sure.
And if someone cat called me or yelled out's sleezy to me, I would walk away and I would ignore them. But that's not what this is. I think what it comes down to is, of course, if it's sleezy and you feel uncomfortable, of course ignore them. I don't engage with them, walk away because you absolutely don't owe them.
I just want to make it really clear that if you guys are out and you're in a club, you're in a bar, people are drinking and a guy comes up and says hey to you and starts a conversation, even if you're not interested. I think it's really important to say hey back and then say have a good night and walk away. I don't like I just think it's normal human nature. It's a pleasantry, and I think it's really rude not to You don't have to put energy into it, Like to say hey and walk away
is not putting energy into it. Also, am I open a conversation where you guys could be friends. You might meet someone through his friends group, Like, that's that's the whole reason people go out. So I think it's a really fine line between women wanting people to approach them and then when they do, they're like they get offended by it. Or they get put off by I.
Think the other part of that is, like you're assuming that women want men to approach them. There is a subset of women who want men to approach them. Some single women want men to approach them. I don't want men to approach me at all. I'm not interested in it. I don't want to make small talk. I'm not available. So like for me, you know, I can kind of understand, and like, I'm not saying that I'm rude to people when they come up to me at all. I'm absolutely not,
And I don't just shut down conversation. I'm definitely nowhere near as brutal as what I'm sounding in this conversation. But what I guess my point is on this is that you don't owe someone anything, and it doesn't make you a bad person if you choose not to engage with somebody who's come up out of nowhere and has demanded your attention. Because you are living your life, it's
very separate to theirs. Yes, there may be a small amount of rudeness that's attached to it, but is that really the worst.
Thing in the world.
I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. I think that it's like, you have agency and you have choice, and you can either choose to say hello, but if you choose to totally shut that conversation down.
As a woman who's.
Probably experienced cat calling and has been approached by numerous men that you don't want to be approached by, there does come a bit of burnout to it sometimes, and you don't have to constantly be nice and be this pleasant, lovely, perfectly polite female that we've been put into a box
to be like. I think it's very rare that men experience cat calling to the same degree that women experience it, and so there is this massive burnout that happens, which I think that women are allowed to have a bit of leeway with. If you don't want to have to say hello back to a guy who comes up to in a bar, man, that's your choice.
Absolutely, like you can do anover the hell you want. But this is an open discussion on how we react and we're both very different.
Yes, you like and look at that's fine, And that was definitely a very heated conversation that happened in the Facebook group.
And that's great because you want people to start talking about this and you want to open up lines of communication and see what other people think.
And I don't think that there is something that we have to all agree on, like I think we can all sit in different camps with this. But I did read a really great article in regards to this. I just want to like read out one part of it which I thought, I was like, yes, I agree with this, and I really really.
Like appreciate the way that she'd put it into words.
I can give it to us.
This article is entitled Dear men, this is how you should be approaching a woman on the street. I'm not sure where men learned that Hey girl, or can I get your number? Or yeah, you look good? A great openness to a conversation. Let me tell you something they're not. These also, common openers aren't really openers at all.
They're boring.
They're overused lines that men usually and hopefully don't expect a genuine response from. It's like dudes who send messages on dating sites that are saying things like hey.
Sup, or you're cute.
If you want me to believe that you were interested in me because I have something specifically worth your while, don't throw generic shit my way. I don't have time for it. All it shows me is that you think of women as a monolith. Like swiping right on all of us in the hopes of getting at least one response and treating us like we're faceless holes that you may or may not get the chance to fuck.
It isn't a good way to express your interest in me.
They had these like boys will be boys' mentality, and they think that when they all get together that that's cool to call out to a woman and make you feel uncomfortable in the stream.
But that's the issue, right The issue is that that behavior happens so frequently that then when it doesn't when a guy has genuine intent and isn't trying to be
an asshole. That's what I mean by this idea of burnout, that when it's happened so many times, and that men who do behave like that, who have no care for the fact that their behavior makes a female feel uncomfortable, then why is it that we need to always make them feel comfortable and them feel appreciated, and therefore have to be like.
Oh, hi, yeah, I hope you're having a good night too. No, no, sorry, I don't want to drink.
I'm just here with my girlfriends, Like, I just don't think that we always need to be as polite as what we're expected to be. And that was kind of like my stance on this, But I appreciate that our views are different.
I just thought that that was really our.
Views are very much the same on being uncind in an uncomfortable situation, like, without doubt, our views only differ when we're talking, Like when we're inside a club, you're like, sometimes you can't be bothered and you don't owe them and you just don't want to even give them anything. That's the only place that our views differ on the street, don't you dare yell out to me.
Also, I haven't been at a club for so long. I have no fucking idea how it works anymore.
Guys.
Anyways, all right, let's get into some accidentally unfiltered. You guys know that we love this part of the episode, and this is the last lot of accidentally unfiltereds.
For twenty twenty one, Isn't that crazy?
I just feel like this year has been the longest and also the shortest year of my entire life.
I am going to kick start Accidentally Unfiltered with a Christmas seemed one seen as though it is Christmas.
How very very on theme perfectly.
I feel like you just really need to explain that one. I have been with my partner for nearly five years, and we have done the last two years long distance. It really sucked. We had really launchy phone calls to get us through the tough times. Last Christmas Eve, I had had a fair few drinks. I was feeling really frisky and just really feeling myself, so I thought it would be an amazing idea to give my no cheeky
phone call. The call went to voicemail, but I proceeded to leave a very drunken and very sexy voice message detailing all the things I would do to him if he were here with me, and everything I would want him to do to me. I even went as far as to referring to myself as missus Claus. To my absolute horror, when I went to hang up the phone, I realized that I had just left this voice message
for his dad, no, her father in law. She just spoke about Yeah, I'm talking like where she wants him to blow his load, how she wants him to do it. Holy wow. But the weird thing is what can you do They never spoke about it again.
I feel like you can't do that.
I feel like you need to address the situation right absolutely, never do you reckon you No.
I think that like, no, never address it.
I think that, like, if the dad doesn't bring it up in conversation, you're not going to be like, hey, I'm sorry about how I told you I wanted you to come on my.
How I wanted to say say to you that was actually to.
Your son anyway.
The other thing is she wouldn't have said his name. She wouldn't have been like, hey, John, she would have been like hey baby. So he probably this dad probably thinks he's getting lucky from someone. Looks down and he's like, what like my ord law, I was like, you were not mare well, I mean maybe all his dreams. Okay, do you have one?
Wait, I have a great one. Okay, it's very short.
It's very sweet, not for the person who experienced it, though. I work in a hospital, which was especially This is also a Christmas one.
I didn't even realize, but it is because this is not me, I can tell you now, which is especially.
Busy at the moment because it's Christmas. This happened to me just the other day. I had an intense wedgie for about ten minutes, and when I finally had a second to myself, abducted into the corner and forcefully pulled my wedgie out of my butt crack.
How gressy was the wedgie?
We were all being there when you were like, you know, it's just been going on for so long, and you're around people all the time, you just haven't had a chance to dig and just really get some good relief. I forcefully pulled the weggie out. Unbeknownst to me, I had also gripped my tampon string with and I pulled my tampon out with my weggie in the middle of my fucking shift into my scrubs.
Shall tell you?
Let me tell you, these scrubs are not tired. These are big baggy loose pants. Like that tampon is coming straight down your leg onto the floor.
Wait, it gets better. And then I realized there was also two doctors in the room. Imagine to try them out.
Yeah, so like where was on the floor, welld been at host scrubs.
Imagine trying to shuffle out whilst holding your tampon like against your mid thigh.
You can't get straight down. They're big baggy pants.
I have a really mortifying story that's very, very similar to this to you personally. Yeah, this is me personally. Can't wait for this one to end up in daily Now have we not heard about how this still.
Place my mind?
When we get to this point where we're still telling each other stories, we're like, how was this not come up?
We're gonna be like eighty years old.
I'll be like, remember that time where I fucked my cousin.
I mean, guys, I definitely didn't. Please, don't read an article about that.
I feel like we.
Should maybe even take that out. I'm gonna go with Saphara, say.
We need to take that out.
Leave it whatever, Let's go rogue. It's Christmas time in the spirit. Okay.
So I was like eighteen and my boyfriend at the time, he was great. It was my first boyfriend. He's a lovely guy, married now two kids.
Wow, good to day.
Congrats.
Anyway, So we were at the beach and we were there with all of our friends and I was wearing I was wearing like a white and black pattern to bikini, right, like more black, little bit of white pattern on it. I remember this so vividly, and this is like, god like going back sixteen years ago.
Now that's how old I am.
I feel like we should never put this into numbers because it makes us sixteen.
Like this is all I was almost half the age that this was ago. Okay, we're now with the Weason's bad. It's it's long pent up, long standing trauma. So I got out of the water and I was telling myself off, and I thought I was hot shit at the time as well, Like I was eighteen year old Laura telling myself off.
And my boyfriend was sitting on.
The towel, another towel, and then we had all our friends around who are also sitting on the towel, and he looks up to me and we're having a chat, and halfway through the conversation, he goes, okay, you've got a string, thinking I had a string on my bikini.
Like a thread, like a loose thread, like a thread, and he went to pull it. Didn't he he pulled it.
He didn't go oh my god.
No, I was eighteen years old and I had my tampon pulled out in front of my group of friends by my boyfriend.
In three months in the daylight of speech.
Didn't come all the way out. It came all the way up.
I got trapped in my swimmers, thank god they were so tight. But he realized what he'd done, and I realized what he'd done obviously, and I think a couple of them friends realized you've done it. Everyone was just like silose and then everyone started laughing, and then I was I was eighteen.
I cried.
I went sat in the bathroom, cried and broke up with him my home.
No, no, we dated for two years. That's hourly story.
I reckon to a guy, he wouldn't even think. He would just think that he's pulling literally like a loose tread from your clothing, which you would want him to do if it was on your back or on your sleeve, but not coming out of your vagina. So men, if you see a string ever coming out of a woman's pants a bought mission immediately. Are you still traumatized?
I'm literally still trauma.
I can't believe I have not.
I feel like I must have told that story on the podcast before and it's just gotten like lost in the depths of.
The last year and a half.
Mate.
But if I haven't.
Then there you go, guys, that's a true, true story that happened to me. And I hope that inspires you, guys to keep on sending in your Acidently Unfiltered stories for twenty twenty one because you're not alone.
That's the whole reason why we do this section of the podcast.
How many people do you think of actually had the tampon pulled out by a significant other, like accidentally? Do you think that that is a high statistic?
Want to say that's not high, But do you know how many people we've had right in who have had to get a relative or a boyfriend or a husband or a partner or whoever, or a friend to get in there and dig out a lost tampon. That is like a very reoccurring, constant conversation that we receive in Acidently Unfiltered talking about tampon, we should get into the whole point of this episode, which was to talk about We're only going.
To do it briefly. We're going to talk about news resolutions, which.
We actually discussed more in depth and we don't really believe in them.
We talked about it on last year's episode. On twenty twenty, Big twenty twenty Energy episode, if you want to go back and listen to that, I actually don't go back and listen to that because I went back and listened to that and it wasn't a very good episode.
Lauren didn't like her.
She's like we, she goes, I went back and listen to ex episode. Babe, what are we thinking?
We just weren't as funny.
We just weren't as we didn't know each other as well. And I guess over the years, like our relationship has grown, like we know each other better, we find each other funnier.
Well, what I think it is, too, is I think like when I when we reflect back on the podcast and when we started, and I think what it is is if you guys are OG listeners, I'm sure you'll agree that our dynamic has changed drastically. We're so much more open, we have so much more banter, We're so much more open about what we speak about. I put that down to the fact that when we started the podcast, I don't know if a lot of people realized, but we didn't know each other that well. We'd only had
like a few catch ups. We were just in the very early days of like becoming sporadic friends. Like I'm talking, we'd go for a walk and get breakfast like three times. Then we just decided to have this grand idea to start the podcast. So we were starting it where we wanted to deliver the goods. We wanted to make a funny but we just didn't have the connection yet, Like we didn't have the stories to tell, we didn't have the bands because we didn't know each other well enough.
So when we listen back now, we're like, what were we doing? It was so like formal and so like how do you feel today? Kind of thing? And I look at us now about nothing's off limits, everything's unfiltered, And I love that because that, I believe is why you guys like to listen, because you find it and you know that, like we're all on the same pain for.
Anyone who has been listening since the very beginning, Like you guys are the real MVPs because you've come along this journey with us, and you've come along our friendship with us as well, and like how much things have changed and how our dynamics change, and also just how the podcast in general has and like we love making this every week. We love being able to do our ask guncut sections where we answer your questions. And there's been so much about this podcast which has evolved over.
The last year and a half.
And yeah, listening back to that first episode, I just found it so funny, like how polite Britta and I were to each other and the absolutely niceties. But it came from us not only just not knowing each other that well, but also like living in a bit of fear about sharing so much of our lives. And you know, I was really sensitive about saying the wrong thing because I didn't want it to end up in Daily Mail.
And now I don't care.
I think it's really funny when stuff ends up in Deadly Mud. If anything, we know egg them on. So, like, you know, we have grown in confidence across this podcast as a result of you guys, and you guys like being so supportive and being so engaged, and you know, you made us feel like what we're putting out in the world is valid and that you know you're getting something out of it, and that's the only reason why
we keep coming back and doing it. So that's a big thank you to you guys, and especially to those of you who have been with us since the beginning, or to those of you who've gone back and listened to the beginning, which is another bloody big effort.
What do you feel like your favorite episode has been, like just looking back, do you have one that you just love to do or.
You I think like my favorite episode, which is definitely not because of the lolls or anything, but I think one of my favorite episodes is the narcissist episode that we did Dating a Narcissist, Also the breakup episode that we did.
I think that both of those.
I know how much they've related to people because I know constantly how many messages and emails we get in
regards to those two episodes. The other really big one for me was the episode that we did on miscarriage, and I think that that I'm really proud of that episode, and I still have women contact me a weekly saying thank you so much for putting that out there, Like I feel less alone now because I've been able to listen to somebody else's story, and I think that there's so much pains and sharing vulnerable moments, and all of those episodes have shared different parts of our experiences and
our vulnerable moments, and so yeah, they're definitely my top three.
I'm also very proud of the miscarriage episode, even though obviously, like I was on, the episode had nothing to do with me. But I'm proud of the fact that we're just able to produce something that we put out into the world that's going to help people. I'm proud of you for being able to open up. It is hard, and I think, but we are sharing big parts of our life in hopes that it helps at least one person, and that was not easy for Laura to do for sure,
So I'm proud of you for that. So like that's my little.
Thing, thank ah.
I also really loved and that this sounds funny too. I really loved the episode we just did with doctor Angela Jay on domestic violence, and I love that for the same reason that I'm proud that women are strong enough to come forward and tell their story in hopes that they can continue to relive the trauma about helping
people at the same time. And there's so much power in that she went through something incredible, and so many of you guys reached out about that episode that you were just hooked and you loved it, and it's made you think a lot. We've had people reach out saying that it's helping them in their toxic situations and relationships. So that's like one of my favorite episode episodes as well.
One of actually my all time phase was that random episode we did when we threw in a bonus episode when we went into lockdown, and it was just we just went on this, like we started selling funny accidentally on filters and we just couldn't stop and we just kept thinking. I still listened to that and laugh. It was literally just a bonus episode full of squabble, but it was so bloody funny.
It was just us going down a rabbit hole. And I guess that that was also like a massive turning point when we were getting to know each other more as well, because like we rarely now, I mean apart from the tampon story, but we rarely now have stories to tell each other that the other person hasn't already heard anyways, getting into Resolutions for twenty twenty one, we did do a whole episode on our Resolutions for twenty twenty which is quite a while ago, almost a whole year,
and I listened to it back today and I can very very proudly say that Brittany, you did not You did not fulfill any of your New Year's resolutions.
I fulfilled one.
I went in pretty hard. My number one thing was and if you're falling from the start, you guys will remember. I was like, I want to eat less sugar. Did I eat less sugar? No? Did I eat more sugar? Yes? I have been a sugar fiend to the point that I have made myself sick, and I have started This is nothing I want to talk about why we have to start resolutions on January one. I have started to try and turn around this resolution now in the month of December because I wanted to enter the new year
feeling good. So I am proud to say I have wound my sugar back to probably a ten percent consumption.
Nothing like a hot dash of the finish line.
Babe. Well, no, I.
Did walk in today and Laura's like, did you break cooking? I was like, delicious. I started eating that straight away, so I was like, I'm not there yet. I'm not fully recovered, but it's a thing. I also said I wanted to start surfing. I surfed twice this year. I'm really disappointed in that. So I didn't fulfill that I said that I wanted to get into acting more, and I did feel my first met this year, so I
can tick that off. So I'm like, I'm at like a forty percent maybe success rate when I look back at what I wanted to do. That's not it's not great. But also like hashtag govid.
Yeah, this year is like absolutely right off.
Nobody was expected to hold on to their news resolutions, and anybody who even executed a quarter of them.
Well fucking done.
I would just like to say that I went into twenty twenty with my news resolution being that I was gonna have more sex.
I have definitely not fulfilled that you did it once.
Well, yeah, like okay, So when we recorded in twenty twenty, it was like January obviously, and Marley was six months old, and I was like, yeah, this is.
Gonna be the year Matt and I are going to get out mojo back.
It's going to be so great. Literally, I was pregnant again by March.
I mean insane, you were so fertile. I'm like, he only had to look at you and you got pregnant.
I was pregnant, and then obviously like I got pregnant straight away and then I had the miscarriage, and then I got pregnant again with this baby, so I have been pregnant. I'm like an elephant. I have been pregnant for pretty much the entire time. Brittany's me.
The sex thing didn't really happen, but it happened once. When bem thank you, Ma'm here?
Is the baby always a good time start for twenty twenty one?
Well, you know what they say, Yes, sexon sex brings on labor, and you are not that far away from giving birth, so maybe now is your time to shine, Chris is true, finish the year strong, finish it hard. Literally, Matt can finish it hard. Ride that into the sunset and right into the sunset.
No, look, I mean I made jokes, but actually, considering how pregnant I am, I'm really proud that Matt and I are still having the amount of sex that we're having. It's just not the amount that we were having in the beginning in the heyday. That's all because I'm not
as mobile right now. But anyway, look, that was my number one and my number two was something that I think I have really embraced this year, and so I'm proud of myself for this, but my big news resolution for last year when and I'm the person who's against news resolutions, but I I wanted to be more aware of taking on people's advice and how someone else experience
can dictate and shape my own happiness. And what I mean by that is that I went into my birth with MALEI really frightened by everyone telling me all the negative things about pregnancy, and I went into going traveling with Maley when she was only three months old, Matt and I went to Europe. I went into going traveling being really worried that it was going to be super hard, because everybody's so quick to tell you all the negative things.
And I think we see.
It a lot in all different aspects of life, not just with children, not just with parenting, but people are so quick to tell you why you shouldn't do something because they've had a bad experience doing it. People are so quick to tell you why something is going to be hard or you're not going to be able.
To achieve that.
And I am really conscious that I don't want to take somebody else's experience as though that's going to be my own without even giving it a shot first, because I have been so amazingly pleasantly surprised by motherhood and I love it so much more than I thought I ever would because people made me so fearful around how
hard it was going to be. So I'm really conscious when I talk to people about motherhood that I'm remember to tell them all the good bits as well, because I think that that's a part of the dialogue that we sometimes forget to talk about at the moment.
I think it's really great advice because it is really easy to take on other people's problems and stresses onto yourself, and you can you can talk yourself and convince yourself that you're not gonna be able to do something or that you shouldn't do something, when really what is stopping you from going and being having a completely different experience to that person. I'm glad you brought that up because I think it's really great advice in every aspect of life. Well.
Also just means that you end up like you end up walking into experiences that you have never had yourself with fear and you think that everything's going to be the worst case scenario.
So yeah, so I think that's something that.
We can all implement in different ways in our life just not to live with this fear around what other people think, or other people say, or other people's experiences. And I think for me, it wasn't so much people telling me I couldn't do something, but it was more people telling me how hard their experience of something was that made me really frightened about something I'd never ever done before. And so I know, like going into this birth and I know going into like having a second baby,
it's the same thing. People have been so quick to tell me how hard it's going to be having two kids, and like, oh, the first year is going to be like really difficult. It's going to be a challenge on your relationship. Like don't worry, you'll get through it once they're too, like they're going to be such good friends. But I don't want to wish away the first year of this baby's life because it's going to be so hard having a.
Toddler and a newborn.
So I'm just kind of like easing myself into it without any expectations. And that's what I want for my twenty twenty one. I just want to be able to like enjoy this moment as it's happening as much as I possibly can, and to not put any pressure, not to put any expectations around it, and just.
To kind of fucking go with the foe.
I don't know what twenty twenty one's got in store, but nobody could have predicted twenty twenty, So let's just throw caution to the wind and just figure.
It out as it's happening. Absolutely. What I wanted to touch on again was if you guys haven't listened to last year's episode, the Big twenty twenty Energy, I did speak really openly about something that a lot of people go through, and I think we sugarcoated a lot. It's not really spoken about, but that is being single over the Christmas period, over the holiday period, the New Year's period.
It's really really tough, and I think a lot of people sometimes forget that that are in relationships and with their families and things like that. It can be really, really tough for some people when they're single. They'll still have fun and they'll still have a really great time, but it's a really shitty time of year. And Laura and I were just chatting. Laura reminded me, she's like, you know, you were saying that next year, like this is the last year you're gonna be single. Because I
do it every year. Every year, I say to myself, like it's like me telling the universe. I say, this will be the last year, Brittany, that you will be alone and you have someone to love you next year and you'll have someone to love and you can do this with them and you can make memories. And because the thing that I get the saddest about when I do let it get me down, which is very rarely, but it does happen. The thing I get the saddest about is like I'm not making memories with anyone. That's
what gets me. And I don't know if that anyone can resonate with that. But I look at like my sister and her partner and they're always like laughing and reflecting back on these times and this thing and this happened and when they did that, And I don't have a memory with anyone, Like I am going into my mid thirties and I don't have anyone to share that with. That's what gets me really sad. And We've come another
year and I'm still single. And I said I wouldn't go into a Holidays single, but I am yes, that makes me sad to an extent because there is another aspect to it this year, and there's another layer, and that is that not only am my single, but I'm going down the fertility journey of freezing my eggs and everything,
and I'm doing that alone as well. So I had literally the very last appointment of the year for the clinic for egg freezing just this week gone, and I just thought, what a way to like really rub it in and wrap up the year is that, you know, I went there. Obviously, I went there on my own because you know, if you didn't listen to a few weeks ago, I made my best friend come and have all the tests with me, but she's moved on now. Thanks for a miss you if you're listening. So yeah,
I went, and I'm doing this fertility journey. I didn't get great news about my fertility, which we'll talk about in the new year. It's not awesome, it's not terrible. I have quite low to medium agccount, which we'll go into more depth later. But you know, I was pretty heavy to hear. It's not ideal. And I just want to recognize everyone out there that's listening that if you are single and you are feeling alone, that it is okay, and you are allowed to sit in that emotion and
you are allowed to feel really fucking shit because that's okay. Also, just try and appreciate that you're strong enough to do it, and it doesn't mean anything that you're single and you're alone.
It doesn't take anything away from you. And then once you do sit in that feeling for a little while, because Laura and I always talk about the fact that we think it's okay to have those feelings and you should never try and bury them, but then remember that it is a great time to try to be with your family if you can, and try and have a really fun time. Just be positive and going to the
next year with a really good energy. That's my advice is I'm gonna be sad for a little hot second, and then I'm gonna really try and enjoy my time with my family and I'm going to make sure I go into twenty twenty one with a good vibe and a good energy. So I just wanted to reiterate that and touch on that again and just make sure that even if you're feeling alone, there is someone one hundred percent out there that loves you and wants to talk to you, and he's there for you.
I love that you share that part of you with the podcast, because I think that, like, it's one thing to constantly be like, I'm misindependent woman and be like fucking nailing it and seem like you're absolutely killing it as someone who's a single person, which I know that you are, and I know that that's how you feel
a big majority of the time. But like, no matter whether you have chosen to be single, whether you're single because of circumstances or what is happening in your life, you're always entitled to have times where you feel really down about it and nobody like, you know, not listening to your family, be like when you're gonna get a boyfriend, when you're gonna get a girlfriend, or you know, why didn't it work out with that so and so, Like this can be a really difficult time because I think
being around family can sometimes highlight that you're not in a relationship and having to explain to people constantly why that's the case. And you know, sometimes there is no explanation. You just haven't met your person yet. So I just also want to back you up and saying that brute like those feelings are completely valid. And as much as the holiday period and Christmas period can be amazing for some people, it can also be incredibly isolating for other people.
And it can really highlight the things that maybe you don't have in your life that you deep down would like to have, you know, or that you're looking for, and maybe that's something that you want to focus on in twenty twenty one, whatever it is. But yeah, I think that that's a really important thing to touch on as well.
Also something you think about if you're like if your friends are single, if you're in a relationship, you're married, or family, and you know you've got a friend that might be you know, you're a friend that might be semi alone, Like just give them a shooting a message,
give them a call. Just important to make everyone, especially with what has happened in COVID, Like we've got so many people that do feel alone and they have felt loneliness, and it's really important to just keep them in your thoughts, shoot them a message, give them call. Included in an event twenty twenty has been shpited for everyone and it has made everyone had really really high heighs, really low low, so I think that we finish together. Oh that was deep finished.
Together, I know. Well.
Speaking of finishing together, we thought that we would finish this episode by giving you ask uncouched, and we're gonna wrap this episode, the final episode of twenty twenty, by answering your listener letters. We love it that you guys trust us with our thoughts, our opinions, our feelings, our terrible, very enthusiastic, highly unqualified advice, not necessarily terrible. I think it's well thought outs from time to time.
But I have one.
Question that I've picked out which is very Christmas related, and I thought it would be just a really nice way to like completely finish off twenty twenty. This is one that I'm sure we can all relate to, and we have all been there.
Help.
I got really wasted at my office Christmas party.
I wasn't the.
Only one, but the craziest shit happened after most of the people had left. Mostly just lots of bitching and being slow. But I'm dying with shame and honestly feel like I can never face my coworkers again.
Help. Okay, you got the drunk, Gilts, you got drunk, you got wasted, you're embarrassing in front of your work Christmas party. Everyone has done this before. Everyone has done something embarrassing in front of a work colleague. I don't know if you need helping this. I think you need to play it off. I think you need to go into the office the next time and it's be like.
Well, wasn't that a while night?
Hey, Like, just everyone knows that Christmas is festive. Everyone knows we have fun. I mean, hopefully everyone was on your level and no one remembers how drunk you are. Like, that's also an option, but I think you laugh it off.
I guess it depends.
Okay, unless you pulled your bosses pants down or something. Yes, look unpacking it a little bit more. Look, depending on the level of bitching. I think that like that stuff can come back and bite you in the ass. Absolutely, Like if you really went down a rabbit hole with saying some inappropriate stuff and doing some inappropriate stuff when you're drunk. I mean, you can just laugh it off, but that doesn't mean that everybody else is gonna laugh off.
So like, just being serious on this for a second,
hopefully everyone was on the same level. Hopefully it is a situation where like the guilt doesn't actually match up to the actions, which I think, like you know, a lot of us probably have experienced that at times where you wake up the next day and you feel like so ashamed by your behavior, and then when you speak to your friends and your family, they're often like, no, you weren't that bad, like you're fine, Whereas there are definitely times where you think, oh, it couldn't have been
that bad, and actually it was way worse. So I do think you've got to go into work and you do have to unfortunately face your co workers and be honest say you know, especially to the people that you're having those conversations with. I feel a lot of shame around the way I behaved. I really hope I didn't do or say anything that offended you. I've really struggled
with this over the past couple of days. I'm so embarrassed, and you know, if I've said anything that's offended you, if I've behaved in a way that was really inappropriate, I'm really sorry, And I think that that is the best way of going about it. Absolutely, you need to try and remember or speak to someone about what you said and who you said it to. So you're doing something embarrassing. I think that's funny. I think you can
play that off. When you've said something that could potentially hurt someone else's feelings, especially if you've sent it, especially if you've said it to the person or to someone as close to them, you one hundred percent need to just own that because that will just fester and it will start to spread around the office. That's what happens in these offices. Everyone talks, everyone has their clicks. So
you need to do exactly what Laura said. You just say, hey, I don't really remember, but I feel like I've said something that was probably inappropriate if I did. Please forgive me. I'm mortified. Own it. We all know, Laura and I have said a thousand times. There's so much strength in an apology. There's so much strength in owning up to something that you have done wrong. And it's often pretty hard for someone to not forgive you for something like this.
When you have come and you're showing humility and you were saying I messed up, I am mortified, I am sorry, Please forgive me. It's usually very hard for them to say you know what, No way, It's like, yeah, you know what, you're an idiot, but let's just sweep it under the rug and move on, so they're your options, or move to Canada.
It's so easy to get yourself into these situations, like you know, work Christmas parties can escalate terribly. My work Christmas party with Tony May last year, when no one was pregnant and everyone was drinking, was an absolute shambles of a night. Now, I remember waking up the next day being like, ooh, as a.
Boss, that's a terrible behavior.
But you know what, I'm at least like now, I'm at their age, and I know my limitations. I know how much I can I can't drink, but I also like, don't get so drunk that I'm going to black out and not remember the things I do and say.
So I woke up the next day and I absolutely behaved in a wild, wild way.
I wish I was there, but I remembered everything and it wasn't this situation where I had to try and piece the night together. I think, you know, guys, if anything, use this person's ask uncut lesson as a bit of a reminder that, especially when it's in a work environment, like maybe not the best course of action to get
totally blotto at your work Christmas party. However, if you have done that and now you need to do a little bit of recovery mission, I think honesty is always the best policy, and I also think vulnerability is also
the best policy. So going in and being really genuine with an apology and explaining how it's made you feel and how you feel terrible for the way you've made other people feel is a really really important way to like getting back into the good books, and also just not doing it next year.
Just have the water in between.
Just the water, all right, guys, You know that we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweep, our highlight and.
Our low light of each and every week. My suck this week, I am going to take on a suck for other people. My suck is that I just feel for everybody everyone that has just had their Christmass canceled, that haven't been able to make it over borders in time to see their family. I just want to shout out to you that there are a lot of people in your position, and everyone's thinking of you. And I'm still hoping. I still have to get up to Port mcquarie and I'm hoping that we don't go into lockdown.
Hopefully we don't. But that's my suck. I just think it's so for everyone. My sweet would probably be that I did have a good date this week. Yeah, I'm not going to tell you guys this week. All I'm going to say is early days. I'm just going to say I went on a nice date, and the TVC twenty twenty one, Brittany been on a date. Watch his Space twenty twenty one. It's going to be my year of love, I'm calling it.
Don't put that in there and then put that as a benchmark, otherwise you may drinx yourself and twenty twenty two will be doing the same conversation over again.
But you know, if I keep saying this is my year of love like one year, it's going to come true and I'm going to be like I knew this was the year.
It's a numbers game, absolutely, all right.
Okay, So my suck for this week, well, I mean my suck is the same as everyone who's in Sydney. Matt's families from Brisbane, and that's who we were supposed to be spending Christmas with. They were supposed to be coming down on Christmas Eve, they're not coming down anymore, so we were going to go up to see them, and then unfortunately the borders closed, so now we are
stuck here in Sydney by ourselves. So we're going to be doing Christmas very very low key this year, which, you know what, on one hand, it's good that Marley's only one and a half and she probably won't remember this Christmas, but on the other hand, just feels a bit sad that we aren't able to start any of our family Christmas traditions. Yeah, and that it's going to be a very different Christmas to what we thought we were gonna have. Also, on top of that, my family
is in Woollongong. However this year, my nanna has been moved into a nursing home, which means that we can't see her, and my mom literally yesterday fell over and broke her hip, so she's now in hospital so we can't go visit her either, So like unfortunately, we're completely by ourselves. So yeah, my poor mum is now getting surgery and that's just like.
A whole other thing.
To really put a little bit of sprinkles on top of the icing, on top of the shit that was twenty twenty, just to really top off this shit Sunday, just to really bring it on home. And then my sweep for the week. My sweep for the week is that like this year is done. Like I actually feel really relieved almost, you know, Tony May has been so busy.
We've just gotten through Christmas. We've just gotten through all of the work that's happened, and now I feel like it's just time to kind of like, ah, I let out a sigh of relief that everything that's been so crazy with work has kind of calmed down now and we've made it through the mania, the retail mania that is Christmas when you own any sort of like retail or online store. So I'm really proud that we made
it through the other side. And now I'll have a couple of days off and then it's going to be Boxing Day sales.
And now the whole thing starts again. And then you have a baby.
Yeah, and then I have a baby.
I mean, I just feel like this years been back to back, but I actually am now finally at the point where like I cannot wait to have this baby. And I feel like I'm only We've got seven weeks to go. But I actually feel like now I genuinely feel excited about it, Whereas up until now I haven't even given myself any time to think about the fact that I'm pregnant, that I'm having a kid, and I genuinely feel really excited.
Now.
Well, it's just this weird year's been so weird. I feel like at no point, and maybe it's also a reflection on it's your second child, but at no point have I felt like I have been excited or gotten excited about this pregnancy. And maybe it's also partly to do with miscarriages, and but I I really haven't been able to kind of, like, you know, feel that excitement that I felt the first time with Marley. And I know that it's not because I'm not wanting to have
like I want to have this baby. I can't wait for this baby to be here, But just the excitement around my pregnancy hasn't been the same. And so it feels really nice to have a bit of a shift in that this week and like actually start really looking forward to I can't wait.
I'm more probably more pumped than.
You are up until this point for sure.
But guys, we just want to say a big congratulations to all of you for actually getting through twenty twenty. He should all be really proud.
We have made it.
There's been some bums, but we're there. We're on the other side, and we just want to say a huge thank you to every single one of you that are in our life on cut community, the guys, the ogs from the start, all the new listeners. We love you all so much. We are so thankful, and Laura and I honestly feel so grateful that we are in a position where we get to do something we love with a community that we love, actually put out content that we are proud of. We're so grateful to have you
come along the journey with us. So we just wanted to say thank you for your support, thank you for your votes, thank you for your love, thank you for being there for Laura's and my ups and downs.
You are well.
We all are like a big family, and we just want you to know that.
Sometimes, like it's happened in the past, where some of you would come up if you've seen us in the street, or you'll come and introduce ourselves, and I just want to say, like, I'm so you like for when you say that you're grateful for us and that you love the podcast like I am so grateful for you and for the fact that you guys have completely rallied behind us.
Like I said earlier in the episode, if it wasn't for how supportive you have all been around this podcast, and if it wasn't for how supportive you have all been for both Britain and I together and individually in our journeys over the last year and a half, we wouldn't be as open as we are, and we wouldn't want to share and be as vulnerable as what we
are with you. So like you know, that is an absolute, true and tried testament to the fact that you know, you guys are such a huge part of this podcast and we're so grateful for you. Also, to everybody who's been doing the meetups and to every single person who gets involved on the Life on Cut Facebook group, you're the freaking best and we.
Love you guys. We will be having a couple of weeks off, which we're actually really excited about, but we are going to be rehashing some of our favorite old episodes, so if you haven't listened from the start, you might not have heard them. Maybe you want to really listen again. Maybe you just want to have a laugh, but we will be dropping them so there will be there something for you to listen to, and we will be back bigger and better and hopefully fuller than ever.
In twenty twenty one. Who but also you know the drill.
Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your cat, tell you ma'm just tell everyone the love because we love that
There are no bumpers