I'm not ready about that. Hey you guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Pat. I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and we are pumped to be here. I am trying to live. And Laura up. She's in a pajama, she's got a robot. Actually, let me talk through it. She's got like this button up denim country like farmer wants a wife shirt from cottona on. That's what I water work today. But then she's draped like a really old, big fluffy dressing gown over the top.
She then has like Harry high pants pajamas on finnel penama and she's tucked to the denim into the pajama bottom. I don't know what's going on. Well, I feel fucking the trade. It's so funny because we used to like really try when we turned up to these podcasts.
I used to get dressed. We used to go to a studio. It used to be really profreshed.
I have a wine, have a glass of wine. It was like going to a job. And now you come over and we record at nighttime and I'm in my pajamas and I'm having a cup of tea. What do you want to talk about the new postcode that appeared on my face. Oh but you want to talk about that? You want to talk about your little pimple. What it's like. You know, when there's something, it's like the elephant in the room. I just want to bring it up before you bring it up. I know you're gonna call me
out on it. I'm like, how's your day. You're like, I've got a pimple. I've got a pimple. Why are you looking at it all the time? What's wrong with you? I do have an eruption on my face, guys. I think it was from my stressful week last week. Usually my skin's pretty decent. Anyway, I've got like this huge new island that's appeared on my face. Usually I try
and hide it. Like Laura said, we used to turn up to these and like try almost such trying impress each other and be cute and professional, and now we just let ourselves go. Well.
One, the good thing about podcast is that no one would have known that you had a pimple on your face until you just declared that to the world. So you're welcome. And two, it's kind of like dating. Like when we first started this, podcast. We didn't really know each other that well, and now over for the mum.
That's true. We kind of slipped down this slippery slope and now it's the real the honeymoon phase is over. This is the real meat. Yeah. I used to turn up and like make up really cute clothes at the start, and I just have to think, like, I need her to know that this is still a good idea, and I need her to know that, like I'm fashion, I'm fun, I'm cool, I'm friendly, and now I just like barely if we put on clothes and turn up to the podcast,
we're really overachieving. But we say this guys, but we still take this podcast very very seriously. Just not our attire, that's all. Okay, So what have you done this week? What can you bring to the table? Not a lot, but I can tell you something that I learned, oh, which I think is going to blow some people's minds out there. Oh hit me, I'm ready for it.
This is probably only going to relate to a very small number of people who actually listen to this podcast. If you have a child, you will be aware of the TV show Bluey, which is like an Australian cartoon. There's two little dogs who you know, Bluey and Bingo?
Blue is a girl? What? Blueie is a freaking girl? No? Where did you learn that? That was your mind? Blue Blue? Blue's a boy? Blue is a boy's name.
Yes, they're trying to challenge gender norms and stereotypes. So I found out yesterday when I watched about seventeen episodes back to back and Blue called her.
Grandma and her grandma was like, hey, girls, nice to see you. And I was like, but literally my brain exploded. And then I found myself googling is Bluey a girl? And there you go. Google that shit. I will take that to the bank because Blue is a girl. Do you know what was funny was Matt putt On on his story the other day. Hey, I've been watching Blue for the last forty five minutes before I realized Marley's been a way for an hour. We do it every night.
I think that most parents do, Like you end up watching and it's bad, Like I know that we shouldn't put Marley in front of the TV, but sometimes it's like the second babysitter that you need in the day just to get stuff done, and then you put them down for a nap and you realize the whole nap time has passed and.
You're still watching the fucking Wiggles. Hey, you know what, I want to add something to this. You know who I hate who? Pepper Pig look hates a strong word. Pepper Pig is a little bitch. She's a little little I was about to say she's a little pig, said hate is a strong word, but then you went on to call Pepper Pig, like an innocent children's cartoon, a little bitch. I okay, so I don't use the term lightly. Guys. I baby sat my niece and nephew and Pixy and Ednie.
They're obsessed with Pepper Pig like every single child. And it was the first time I was watching it, and I was sitting there gobsmack. I had to pick my draw up off the ground. She was a little bitch to her mom, the way she was speaking to her mom. She hung up on the phone on her mum. She treats her parents like dirt. She is really mean to her friends. Like I don't know. I mean, I haven't sat down and watched the whole series. I've only seen
a few episodes. I reckon that she's probably just behaving like most children do. Children and like challenge their parents, And why do you think they do that? Because they're watching Pepper Pick. This is the problem raising our children by a TV. I turned it off and I was like, you can go outside and play. You'll never watch you would never. I just couldn't believe it, Like God, we are up watching like Bambi and things like that.
Yeah, and having Barbie dolls that had absolutely no vaginas and really being confused about her identity and.
They used to try and have sex and stuff on today. No, I didn't make my Barbie dollars anyway. What the hell has been happening in your week? That was a weird tangent. Well, I've had a few little hiccups this week. Number one just like to continue Britney's moving fiasco, and everything that could go wrong went wrong. I spent the whole night because it was Sunday night last night, so I couldn't call you one in my toilet broke.
Oh, I know you facetimed me and I got to watch you live in action with a hand down a dunny Britt. She only had one glove, so she had one glove on up to her elbow and was fishing around a dunny with me on FaceTime, thinking I'm going to be some sort of help.
Can I just I just want to clarify that my hand was in the clean part, like the cistern at the top. It wasn't in the pooh toilets around anyway. It's a face on Laura Life. Put one hand down in the dunny can and I'm like, Laura, I'm talking her through this problem, and I'm like, this is the problem, thinking, you know, she's been through life, she's had experience, she's got a family, surely she has some advice, and only this girl knows a way around a toilet. Well, there's
your first mistake, Brittany. She literally just looked at me and was like, I don't know what to do, and then proceeded to ignore me the whole time and just be like, look how pretty my child is. I'm like, Laura, my hand is down in the dunny can. I'm not looking at how pretty good child is right now. But yes, she's beautiful. Oh my god.
This is why people don't want to be friends with someone who's got a kid. This is why there's why adults who have to Ldred end up losing all of their friends who don't have kids because I'm so obsessed with Marley.
It's sick. Every time brit calls, I end up putting Marley on FaceTime. Pritt doesn't want to talk to my kids. I actually, I'm like, look at how beautiful my daughter is. It's sick. I have a sick problem, guys. I actually have to say to her all the time. I'm like, hey, princess angel face, and I'm like, Laura focused, get back on the phone. I'm like, I'm usually running around in an emergency department. I've got ten minutes to talk to Laura.
She's like, look at my angel. I'm pretty sure this is how you raise a narcissistic child, just by continuously telling them how beautiful they are and making all your friends affirm that. Other than that, I something funny did happen. I went back to boxing this week. I've had a bit of a la bit of downtime, and I thought I need to get back into gear. Went back to boxing, walked in the door and guess who I saw? Laura. Actually, you're not gonna ever guess it. Who is someone from
my dating story past. Oh I miss your dating story past. So if you guys meat raffle, no, that would be meaty though it wasn't. It wasn't me. You get one more guess like the funniest o g date story. I can't I can't even remember wait wait this guy. Wait. So for anyone who's been listening from the very beginning, you will remember this guy. But for anyone who doesn't know,
who's just come on board. Was Britt was like she met this guy at a party, had like the best time, thought she was in love with him, and then told in love, I thought he was a gentleman. On the walk home to her apartment, he was like, I really want you to sit on my face. He was a real gentleman, really lovely. He's like, can I carry a bag and walk you home? And I was like, oh my god, my great men do exist. We've been talking
for about three hours. We were almost home and he just was silent and then he just turns to me and says, I just really want you to sit on my face. That is what he said. Ladies and gentlemen. If you want to hear my reaction, you're gonna have to get back to the start and listen, it's a whole story. Anyway, I walked in and smack bang. I haven't seen some in my face guy since he asked me to sit in his face. He's like, that's a face I remember. That's like a good seat. Should I
try again? Because it's end of financial you sale time, maybe I can have her this time? What what the fuck? That was so bad? I might even edit that out. That was way better in my head. Anyway, we just looked at each other, and I think we pretended that we didn't look at each other and just like scurried across the room and then scurried out at the end, and we never said anything. So I think we're both pretending that we haven't seen each other.
That's a good way to deal with your trauma. Just pretend that it doesn't exist. I would highly recommend well.
I have also had this moment where I was like, maybe he doesn't remember me? He would do you not remember me?
Also, I'm just gonna put it out there. I'm so excited that Bachelor Paradise starts in two weeks because that means that in four weeks after that, I will have the old Britney back, and you will be able to talk about your life and whether or not you're dating or not dating, or what's happening. We will be able to have some of the real life substance back in here.
I'm not gonna lie. It has been a long walk in the desert, Laura. It's been a bloody long time, hasn't it. Oh, mate, not that I'm counting seven months, three weeks and two days. The lady is dry everyone and moving right along.
The one thing I have done this weekend, which was like a real surprise, was yeah, look I showered.
I've taken care of myself. I'm trying to was okay, So no, perhaps don't care about me anymore. Like I'm boring, I'm old news. I'm so far down the d list ranking of celebrities that it's like I walk past paparazzis and they're taking photos of other people. Now I'm like, look, there's a pap And then I'm like, oh, look there's someone actually famous. That's where we're at in my life, which is great, and it makes me so happy that I can leave the house without makeup on or fake
ten or have to even worry about my hair. I just don't care. My life is very normal and I love every single bit of my normal life. Yesterday I went for a walk down Bondi with Brittany.
I had no makeup on and looked like shit, fully embracing it next to Brittany, who looked immaculate with her full face of makeup, and lo and behold, who the fuck is there, mister paparazzi taking photos?
Can I just say, a you looked great? Be he was probably photographing you and I got in the way. See, the whole article was about you. He was photographing you, Brittany, do not prime play coy in this. My favorite part of the whole article was that he said Brittany looked fresh faced with no makeup. I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, tell everyone that's my fresh face. I had a full face on and Laura looks like she's
dying from some sort of terminal illness. I was like, I was like, bless your soul, mister paparazzi, you tell everyone I'm fresh face. Also, do you know what happened yesterday on our walk? Like and this happens from time to time, and honestly, guys, it's the best thing.
It's just it gives us, it feels us with so much joy. We were walking and a girl came up to us and was like, oh my god, I listened to the podcast. Not I've seen you on The Bachelor or any of that, just like I love your podcast. So please, if you do see us in public and you think, oh god, like, can I go up and tell them that I listened to their podcast, I just want you to know that, like, we fan girl, you way more than you fangirl us because it makes that absolute day.
Yeah, we were stoked. She nearly gave us a heart attack. She literally like jumped out of nowhere. But we were stoked.
But it's so nice, Like this is the reason why we make this podcast. We love that there are so many of you out there who were listening to it, who are getting something from it, who feel empowered by the content that we're putting out.
I guess to be associated with something that women are saying gets them through hard times and that makes them laugh and makes them feel good and empowered. That makes us feel so happy. Yes, so please come tell us. We need the confidence boost, I need the ego stroking. I do want to ask you something So I was at a friend's house this week, a guy friend, but like literally a friend. Guys. I've told you before, I
have a lot of male friends. I got given I got sent some like lollies or something a little while ago, and I didn't like them. So I was like, oh, I'm going to his house. I'll he'll eat them. I'll take them over. And I was like, Hey, do you want these lollies? And he's like, oh, brilliant, I'll put them in my chick drawer. Opened up this cupboard draw and there was a draw full of stuff that I'd
never seen. And I was like, what's the what do you mean the chick draw And he's like, I've got a chick draw And I'm like, what's the chick draw And he's like, oh, it's an emergency drawer for like when I bring chick over, I pull out the chick draw so she thinks I've always got really good stuff on hand. I was like, what's in there? There was like really high end, like all the really good biscuits that are filled with dates. There was like really good wines, champagnes, lollies, crisps.
It was like an emergency chick draw this guy sounds like the nicest man to have a chick draw. I feel like most normal guys would have a drawer full of lube and handcuffs. Well, I think they were at the back of the drawer, like behind the cleaner oil. He's like, here's my champagne and there's my condoms. Anyway, I thought that was funny because I don't have that. I wonder if any women have a man draw, like an emergency drawer of wheen, Like I have a draw.
I have a cupboard that's like in case a friend pops over, I've got a bag of crisps. But I don't have like it. That's just called a pantry. Britty, Oh, that was actually funny. Thanks thanks the affirmation. That was funny. Ye okay, So I have a pantry where I keep things in case people come around. No, but this same guy. So we started talking about it, and I started talking about who's been dating and stuff, and he told me about a girl that he went on a day with. Anyway,
how do you feel about this? He takes every single first date ever for years. He takes them to the same place, the same restaurant, the same table. All the waiters know him, everyone knows him. What do you think about that? We actually had a person ride in who had this experience. I think it's so so weird.
I think if I was the date and I found out that it would make me feel very unspecial. Like they put no thought, no energy, no effort into it at all. They've just kind of cub and copied, colored by numbers. They're dates.
But I guess if he's onto a good thing and he knows that the service is good, there's no room for error. It's easy. Yeah, this is what he says. It's just first date, like just the first date. He doesn't go there. He doesn't like, No, because I think he has the same second date place as well. No, Yeah, because it's weird, because he says, because he dates so much. He's like, I know it's good. I know where it is,
and I how long it takes to get there. I know the food, what the food's like, you know what the service is like, I know she's going to enjoy it. He's like, it's just easy. I don't have to think. I don't have to do it, and I sort of get it.
I kind of like that he is doing this and it kind of is like a science experiment at school where you have a control. So, like the restaurant, everything is the control. So the only thing that differs is the dates. If the date's really great, He's.
Like, well, this is an outlier exact great date, because it couldn't be the com like, it couldn't be the atmosphere or the environment or any it just has to be the chick. She's the only new variable in this experiment. So at the start when he told me, I was laughing, and I was sort of like tearing him a new one. I'm like, come on, dude, get some creativity, like take him somewhere else. And even for his own sake, I was like, you're probably going there three times a week.
You look a bit like a creep from everyone. But then the more he explained it, I was like, it actually sort of makes sense. You know what's good, you know what it's going to be like, and you know you're probably gonna get a home run.
So we had someone write in a very similar story. Basically, she had gone out on a date and she'd been talking to this guy through isolation and anyway, they finally had their first date and it was at a new bar that she'd never been to before, and they had an amazing date. And then the next night she was out with her girlfriends and she was like, oh, I went to this really cool new bar, Like, let's go there.
And so she went with her girlfriends to the same bar that she was at the night before with the guy rocks up and.
He's there on a fucking date with a new chick. But he owned it and he came up and was like, yeah, look, our date was actually better. You're like, just so you know, all right, well, how haven't we get onto some real life, accidentally unfiltereds. I'm down for it. You know that this is our favorite part of the episode. Every single week, we bring you your most embarrassing stories and we laugh
at you together. You want to go first? All right, guys, I'm gonna summarize this one because it's been written in and it's kind of long, but anyway, it's funny, it's good, it's a goodie. This girl she was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come along and she gets on the bus. Okay, so she gets she gets on a bus. In this story, she gets on the bus and she sits down and she's listened to some music and she's just having a nice quiet ride on
the bus to work. Anyway, a little bit of time passes and then she realizes that she needs to fart. She's like, oh my god, how am I gonna do this? Like very urgent, a very urgent need to fart. She's like, oh, it's fine, I'll just let the fart out in time with the music. So with the oh so like the music covers it, so the music can hide the fart. So she's like.
That, I don't know what something that was, but you get what I'm saying. Anyway, She's like, it was perfect. I managed to.
Get my whole fart out. She tuned to the song. No one noticed until I realized I was wearing fucking headphones. So she just to everyone around your slight. She's just going, damn, oh, she just totally forgot she had headphones in thought. She was listening to the music on the bars and farted in time to the music.
My headphones is so funny. It's so bad. This is what isolation does to you. People you don't know how to function in normal life, Like, oh my god, could you imagine I had this feeling I don't know if anybody else's experienced this.
You're gonna think I'm disgusting for it. You're gonna think I'm discussing too. I always do. I had this real fear after isolation happened that I was like, I'm gonna have to tell myself I can't fart at work anymore, because like when you're at home, it's fart all the time. No one cares. Burp, pier fart here like whatever. We're very drop some birds. We're like, we're so deep in our relationship. There's like we Matt and I fart all the time in front of each other. We don't care. Okay,
see I wouldn't. I'm not fine whatever, Like we just don't care. Isn't that funny?
And we still love each other, guys, the romance is still alive, alive and kicking anywhe's there. Sometimes I'm very tired and have a headache, but yeah, I got to work this one day and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna really have to be conscious about this.
This is four months of like patent behavior that I have to break. And you know what they say, four months and you've got yourself a habit Okay, so what can we take from that? Laura has a fighting habit, great, they're happy for you can't wait for daily mails? Right article about it. I'm not a whiz popper in front of my partner. We can't even say the word fart because do you know what to do? Growing up in
my family, we weren't allowed to swear. We went on to do anything, but fart was classified by my mother as like a no go zone. It was it was almost like a swear word. We weren't like to say it. So now I think when you spend your whole life being told you can't do something, it's I feel like if I say it now, like I still say, I look far far far fat, you're like tying aunt. My mom's gonna listen to this podcast. Sorry, I'm but I
she My mum and dad have never passed wind. I'm sure they have in front of each other.
No people say this, but they have only fun in your sleep sometimes.
Oh yeah, obviously it's uncontrollable when you're unconscious. Laura, you re La, and I think that that's what I would be like. I don't think i'd be mortified if I did a wiz pop on someone.
We don't do it on each other. Jesus Christ. Look, I know this is a very polarizing topic. I know that some people are extremely comfortable with finding in front of their partners. I know that some people are like, that is not okay. That's bathroom stuff and you keep it in the bathroom or in your pants, but or in your butt.
Or in your butt. But but uh yeah, look, we're fine with it, so okay that story. Speaking of day Mail, though, guys, I know that I make jokes about this every single week about how every time we make a joke or we say something in jest, it ends up getting picked up by Daily Mail. But if you're following our Instagram page, which is lifeluin Cut podcast, how's that go? And do it if you're not.
We did post this week that Daily Mail had written article based off our last Ask Uncut, where we answered our listener letter, which was asking about whether or not she should have a threesome because when she doesn't want to, yeah, because her partner wants to, she doesn't want to, And our advice was very much like, no, you don't do anything that you don't want to do in a relationship. But according to Daily Mail. We were giving some great advice on how to have a three sir.
So Laura and I haven't had threesomes. The advice was not us. Oh, Laura's looking and I was like, we haven't have you no, never, never, I'm so boring. Yeah, so Laura and I haven't had three sims. The advice we were giving was not on advice like we had done it and this is how to do it, like we here some techniques and that is what ball one in mouth. Don't say that because now they're gonna take that quote. No, it was actually a really disappointing article.
Usually we laugh at them, but to put a headline out saying Brittany and Laura give threesome advice, that was really disappointing. And it's really shitty on their behalf because that is completely completely unrelated to the article. It had nothing to do with the article or the question all the advice we gave.
It's just really misleading. But like I mean, I guess there's we make jokes about it because it constantly happens. And the reason why I wanted to say this is because I think we're all guilty of it. Sometimes when we see an article and the headline is very clickbait, and the headline may say something that's very controversial, and we kind of sometimes had the tendency of not reading an actual article, and we can we can take headlines.
As valid truths.
And so this is just a reminder to check yourself if you ever find yourself reading those sorts of like New Ideas or the you know, the rag trade media and thinking that what's written there is yeah, yeah, or gospel or Bible whichever tomato tomato, because yeah, you know, I mean you listen to the podcast, you know what the truth is.
Anyway.
Anyway, that's my little side versation, Brittany, give us your accidentally unfiltered.
So I've been seeing this guy for every year and things were going really great. It was my first real relationship. I had made a really conscious decision to be a lady in front of him, with no active bodily functions. It was going really well. One night, sitting on the sofa all flirty and cute like, we started a tickle fight. We were little tickle monsters. I quickly realized. I quickly realized that it needed to stop, as I was at risk of a wiz pop. I asked him to stop.
He continued, I pleaded, he continued. I begged. He continued with that I let out the dreaded fart, not a cute little puff of air one, not one that you can get away with, by the biggest one I have ever done, no joke in last year, seven hardcore seconds. He flew back from me, clearly shocked by the noise that had just erupted from my behind. And then I laughed and I laughed, and I laughed so hard that I pissed my pants in front of him. It was a real moment, and I ran away and I didn't
know what to do. But it's so good to find our relationship and it conferred to me as my penguin because eleven years later we are married with two kids. Loll fucking cano. Oh my god, Ah, it just gets better and better. I love so much about this one. I love that we both chose fart topics for today and we didn't even know that we're doing that. And secondly, it's just I love that she was laughing so much at her own misfortune that she wet her pants. She
was a double wummy. Oh. Secondly, secondly, guys, this is just proof that you have a deeper form of connection with someone if you fart in front of them. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. All right, on that note, that was all a lot. Let's get into today's topic. We're right, you've listened to about twenty five minutes of this podcast and still don't know what we're talking about. Today's surprise. Okay, that's the third time you've done xile me.
Now I'm removing it. You're in the wrong genre. Don't do Is that better? I don't know what you're trying to do? That's NCIS. I listened. I watched so much n CIS I watch viewing is comparable to my belue re viewing, and I know a lot about both of them. So why I still don't understand why you do NCIS music Because the suspense is building about podcast that's not true. I've always wanted to do a true crime podcast. Guys.
Here we are Okay, guys, today's culture is so obsessed with looking and acting young, and we want to talk about a topic that we think is really important to women and men, but especially our youth, and that is body dysmorphia. Have you heard of it, Laura, Yes, that's why we're talking about it. The real problem if I hadn't Wow, So it was a rhetorical question, bring the goods, Brittany,
give us the intro. Body dysmorphia syndrome or BDS is also known as and it's something that affects a lot of people, and that's why we wanted to delve into it. And I think it's because we sort of a bombarded daily with images via magazines and billboards and the TV and the Internet, and it's all about what the person looks like. It's all about they seem beautiful and they seem perfect. And I think that really creates some issues in young people thinking that they think to be successful
they need to be beautiful. They think to be successful they need to be perfect, and they need to look a certain way. They need to look like the model and they need to look like the TV presenter. And I think that really plans this deep seated issue in a lot of people.
So for those of you who don't know what body dysmorphia is, it is basically this obsession with the way that you look, which may not actually relate to what's happening in real life. So, for example, people who have this illness, constantly worry about the way they look, they believe and inconspicuous or relatively non existent physical attribute is a serious defect. I think a lot of people often
have it about their skin, for example. They can become very obsessive about something that they deem as a flaw that the other people might look at and go, oh gosh, there's literally nothing there. It's this obsessive nature that really is what creates this illness. And basically, I think you know when people are looking at themselves in the mirror all the time, constantly checking something, constantly comparing the way they look to other people. These are all symptoms and
signs of a type of body dysmorphia. And body dysmorphia itself has many many levels. There is people who have very extreme cases and it's debilitating, and then there are people who have very mild cases where they may deem a certain thing a flaw about themselves and they have obsessive tendencies over it, but doesn't completely overrun their day or their ability to live a normal life.
Yeah. Absolutely, the severity can differ from people that know that what they're seeing and what they're thinking and what they're feeling isn't rational and isn't justified. So they're looking at themselves and they might, for example, they might say, oh my god, I'm so fat, but they know that they're putting their size ten genes on. They know they're not.
So there's those people, But then there are the people that it really really cause emotional distress and it can really affect their entire life because they completely believe that what they're seeing is real, and what they're seeing is
actually has no connection to reality. It's not them in any means, and that sometimes sometimes they see things on their face that aren't there, they see things on their body that aren't there, and it's really concerning because it's led to quite a high level of depression and suicide in teenagers. And that's why I think it's so important to highlight now.
So one of the reasons why we wanted to talk about this on today's episode was because there was a post that went up. Kim Kardashian had posted a video of herself wearing a corset and there was a really interest conversation that happened on Jamila Jimil's Instagram page. She's a British actress, a radio presenter, a model, a writer,
an activist, and a feminist. And what she has written on her Instagram is so interesting because she kind of encapsulates and really shows how the changing times in social media, how there has.
Been a bit of a revolt.
Basically, the photo that Kim Kardashin has posted, it's a video and it's her wearing her corset from the Met gala, where her waist is incredibly almost like unbelievably tiny. If you didn't see the video that she posted, if like so, I saw the photo and I thought it's gotta be photoshopped.
But then she's obviously realized that too, and Kim Kanashi's posted a video so that she can prove us not photoshopped. And it's ridiculous. You guys need to go and have a Google look it up. It's insane.
It's it doesn't like it looks so unbelievably not a real person. That's how tiny her waist is. She looks like a Barbie doll in this. We actually received messages to our own Instagram saying like, this is such a good topic for conversation, which is why we wanted to kind of delve into it deeper. I really feel like Jamila Jamil really encapsulated the most perfect response about this post.
So what she's said in her Instagram and I would love for you to go and read it because it's just it's literally the most perfectly worded response to what is happening on social media. And what she's said there is that there's no point in screaming at Kim herself. The smart thing to do is to protect yourself from
the images that you see on social media. But also if you look at something like that and you recognize that that's wrong and that that is going to do harm to other people, and that that isn't like the image we should be putting out there for a realistic and attainable body, then the work's already done. You're already woke to what's happening in society.
Well, you can already recognize that it's damage and it's unnatural and it's not right and it's causing havoc. I guess what Jamila Jamil is saying is that if you recognize that this is that this is toxic, and you recognize that it's damaging, you're able to kind of disengage with Instagram page or with people or celebrities who don't make you feel good about yourself. But I think that that's.
The first step in recognizing and unpacking this idea of body dysmorphia. But it's funny, isn't it, Because so many people recognize how ridiculous it is and how unattainable it is and how damaging it is, but they still follow pages.
It's like a train wreck. They can't unfollow it. They know what makes them feel bad, but they can't unfollow it. It's like almost this obsession with the unnatural and the unattainable.
I think that it's almost a little bit easy to say, oh, just tune out and unsubscribe and unfollow the things that you know make you feel bad because it's everywhere. It's not just on the Instagram pages that you elect to follow on Instagram. It's in marketing, it's in retail. It's this total lack and underrepresentation of diversity in what people look like, which is what creates this feeling of not
being good enough. So, I mean, I know, like us growing up when I was like what in the nineties, the idea of what was beautiful in the nineties was like heroin, chic, like think eight Moss, young Jos, fucking underweight, like super super skinny, if you look like you had a drug, a drug addiction like, that's what was deemed beautiful. And it was literally called heroin chic.
And it's so ridiculous when you think about it, isn't it outrageous? You didn't think of what the name meant when you were young. You were like, oh, heroin chic, but you didn't think them, Oh, that we're saying, she actually looks like a junkie.
She looks like a heroine at it, and that shit's chic. But that was the that was the goalpost that we grew up with. And I remember girls in school aspiring to want to look like that, and I remember girls that were young adults in my university wanting to aspire to look like that. It changes throughout the years, but there's always been this one constant, which is this lack of diversity in what represents beauty. And we have seen just recently, which I think is another amazing point to
bring into this chat. So for anybody who missed it. Calvin Klein has recently released a new billboard in New York City, which features black plus sized model and LGBT icon Jari Jones, and I think that this in itself, it's a really amazing image. Go and have a look at that as well.
But turned around, oh wow, yeah. So basically on one side they've got a photo of what Calvin Klein had as their model in the nineties and now what they have in the twenties, and you know in twenty twenty and that twenties and the wild at outrageous twenties. But it shows how far we have come in now representing different types of beauty. But there is still a very long way to go. I remember, so, like you said, when we were growing up and heroin chic was a thing,
I definitely suffered from body dysmorphia. I until not that long ago. I still sort of do suffer from it, to the point where it really really affected my life. I looked at myself like I was the biggest, ugliest thing. And I'm not just saying I was like having a down day. There were times where I couldn't look at myself in a mirror. I would not look at myself in a mirror for days on end because I was I was actually discussed at what I saw. I would
not take photos. I would not let people take photos of me. I would be beside myself, and my family used to I stopped eating, like developed an eating disorder, and my family like, you've been like, we didn't know what it was then, like you're being ridiculous. But I genuinely believed that what I saw something different looking back
at me in the mirror. And over the years it got a lot lot better, where I finally got to the point where I had changed from being severe to less severe, where I realized that I wasn't making sense, and I started to tell myself, you've been ridiculous because you're putting on size eight pants. You're not overweight, you're wearing size eight. And I really had to start to talk myself out of it and put myself back into reality and say, if you had a weight problem, you
wouldn't be putting size eight pants on. I still wasn't liking what I saw, but it took me a long time to get there, and it was a real, really, really hard time, and I still, up until a couple of years ago, was still battling that to an extent. And my sister always has to pull me in line.
She always had to say to me, tell me what size you're wearing, tell me, like, you're beautiful, Brittany, look at this photo like, because I would be like, I can't even look at myself, and it's really worrying because I don't want anyone to have to go through that.
I think it's interesting what you say that you used to feel like that, because I don't know if it ever fully leaves you, like when you have these feelings of I think when you have these insecurities and you don't feel like you're good enough, I don't think it completely completely goes away. I think that you just get better at managing it and you grow to accept things
about yourself. But I still think that there's always this level of underlying insecurity that stays there, and maybe it can flare up depending on triggers, because obviously you can be triggered by things that people say, can be triggered by things that you read. I myself, like, we've spoken about this in a past episode, but really briefly, so I think it's nice to kind of delve into a
little bit deeper. After the show and being on The Bachelor, I became really really self conscious about the way that I look, and that's not something that I've ever really worried about so much, not from a vanity perspective, but just because it never I never really thought about it. It wasn't until after doing the show where I would see pat photos of myself and I was being scrutinized by people on social media saying whether I was pretty enough or not that I really really really started to
get insecure about the way that I look. And particularly for me, it was about my skin because I suffer from pigmentation. I've spoken about a lot in my social media now, but I get pigmentation. I get really bad malasma, and you know, I have done loads of things to
my skin to get rid of it. I have had a crazy, hectic, couple thousand dollar peals that left me unable to leave house for ten days because I literally burnt my hair my face off, like I burnt my face off because I really wanted to get rid of it, and I became obsessed by it to the point where every day I was taking photos of my skin to see how bad it was, and every day I was checking it in the mirror. And that has changed now. I definitely don't have the same insecurities about it. It's
still there. It's actually worse than ever to pregnancy. But for me, what kind of shifted my mentality towards it was having Maley. Like I think since becoming a mum, I have become less self focused and less worried about the way that I look. And there was like a very clear line in the sand when that changed for me, and that was Marley.
It's funny when you say that we never really shake it, because if I'm going to be completely honest, and I will be, I'm gonna be really raw. Here. When I was in the finale of The Bachelor, when Nick told me he wasn't going to be with me, I remember saying to myself, of course he wasn't going to be with you. Look at you? Why why would anyone pick you?
This is what this is my internal monologue. I was like, of course, Like if anyone in the whole world, Brittany is going to be the first person to not be good enough to win, it's you, like, and I was really bad to myself. I was like, you should have known better. You can't believe you did this to yourself. And I convinced myself that he it wasn't his problem. The reason he didn't pick anyone was me. It was he was He couldn't he could not fathom to wake up to me every day and to look at me
every day. And it was a really, really low point. So you definitely don't always shake it and you're not going to grow out of it. And I haven't said that before, so be goo that was me being really wrong.
Guys, different triggers, different things that happen in your life can trigger that feeling of not being good enough and that feeling of insecurity. It doesn't ever completely go away.
And like I know.
That, you know that that's not the case with like your finale, Like I know that now you can rationalize it and look back and go, well, there was twenty four other girls in that season and nobody got picked. Like, it wasn't a reflection on you as a person. It's a reflection on him. But it doesn't mean that that doesn't make you question or look at yourself and try and pick apart. Why are you not the one that's good enough?
Yeah, it's hard tough.
The thing with this idea of body dysmorphia is that it is a lot more common than what people realize. It only really comes into the limelight when someone has such a severe issue with it that they're having to
seek treatment. I think that so many women have different varying levels of body dysmorphia that never really get talked about or spoken about because it doesn't affect their every day but they do have this internal monologue where they're thinking, Okay, my skin's not good enough, my eyebrows are not this, my lips are not this, And that's the that's their internal thought patterns, that's what they're telling themselves all the time.
And I think that that's going to be really relatable to a lot of women who are listening to this, because I mean, I know that I've done it so many times in my life. I just don't tell people that that's what I'm thinking. Breaking it down and kind of getting into what constitutes body dysmorphia. What are some symptoms where you would be able to identify Okay, oh my god, this is what this is what I'm doing to myself, this is what I'm struggling with at the moment.
Yeah, So look in terms of common areas that people struggle with and symptoms. According to the Victorian Government Health channel common areas are facial skins. So it's funny you said that, Laura, because that's the number one thing that the Victorian Health government says people with body morphia suffer from. It's looking at their skin.
Oh my god, I was so I cannot explain to you how fixated I was on it for a while. Yeah, and now, like I still don't. Don't get me wrong, guys, like I'm not over it. I still worry about it. It's still something that I feel very insecure about. From time to time. It was like it was something I thought about all day every day, like that was where my head was at in regards. So I thought about
what my skin looked like. I would be having conversations with people and they might look at me in a funny way, and I would think, Oh, that they're looking at my malasma. That's what they're thinking, that my malasma is really bad.
So funny because I don't even notice it on you. I'm not even saying that, but that just goes to show you how it's this huge thing for you. And I look at you every day and I'm not even tooted in your horn. I always walk into Laura and I'm like, you look really great today. It happened this one time.
So I went to Mamma mia for to record a podcast and with Tully smythe I was recording podcasts with Tully, and I remember her coming up. Was the first time I'd ever seen her in real life, and she came up and spoke to me, and I looked at her and I was like, oh, my god, like, your skin's so perfect. And then she was talking to me and I thought, oh, you're looking at my skin. You think my skin's bad? And that was what was going through
my head before we recorded the podcast. Now and I know that she was probably in retrospect, there's no way she was thinking that, Like she's a lovely girl. Why on earth would you be thinking that about me? But that's all I was thinking. And then the whole time we were recording the podcast, I was like, I'm so
self conscious about my skin. And then the first thing I did is I went and looked in the mirror to see if by a concealer was still concealing it, Like that's how silly And it's not even that bad, guys, It's just something that's been my biggest insecurity.
Your insecurity. Yes, why, well, it's funny because that's the number one facial skin. Then they talk about the face in general, including the size and the shape of your eyes, or your nose, or your ease or your lip, So that's the other thing that people are really worried about. Then of course it's thighs, stomach, boobs, legs, breasts, and genitals. So these are all the things that women worry about,
and that's the size and the shape. Genitals is a big one people get really worried about if they've got any or aunty labia. What other people's looks like is there's two bigs, there's too small, So that's a really big one and they go to the extent of having surgery on it. But that's a whole other topic. I think this idea of like talking about genitals is really interesting because it's something that we like never speak about,
even with like our closest friends. I don't think I've ever spoken to my closest friends about what my vagina looks like. I don't know, I vaginal's like, no, I'm ad. I'm definitely not gonna tell y'all on Room this podcast.
But I do think that like there becomes this insecurity around it when there is no conversation because you have no point of comparison. So I guess, like, what in an ideal world, if you were going to hold up a Barbie doll. We've been raised with Barbie as like your toy. They don't have any genitalia. Yeah she's smooth, Yeah she's smooth, she's bold. But like this idea of it being an innie is like perfect little vagina, but like women don't have innies.
Like that's like some do.
Sure, great majority of women don't have innies. Yeah, good for you, fantastic take a photo.
But if you've ever been to MoMA in Tasmania, there is this wall of vaginas and one thing that I found that was so amazing to see. I was like, wow, they are so incredibly different. The vast array of like what a vagina looks like, what constitutes normal is incredible. But because we don't talk about it, it's very private, but like we don't know, we don't know what normally. Yeah, I guess for me, it's different. I work in an industry where there's a big part of my job that
I look at vaginas and penises all day. It's like what we do and you don't even that's just when she's on lunch break, like, oh yeah, no, that's before work. We do it all day, like I do things where we used to. You know, women are having trouble falling pregnant. We flash their Filippine tubes. Most of our patients are in gowns with their underwear, ultrasounds, everything, So I see them all day, every day. I don't even register it. It's second nature. It would be looking at someone's genitals
for me is like looking at their hand. It's just part of the job. But the point of this is there are so many different kinds and they're all normal. Every single one is normal because there is no normal, and that's what I think people need to understand. But for you, because you get to see it all the time, surely there's some level of reassurance there as well. You're like, ah, oh, I know where I sit in the spectrum of life. Well, most people don't have that.
They don't have a point of comparison with that sort of stuff. Whereas unlike your face or another part of your body, you can actually see and compare that to somebody else Whereas like your genitals. Yeah, I ain't got the same sort of well we.
Really really dogged into the genital part, but let's talk about Okay, so they're like the main areas that people struggle with, and I totally get that. For me, it was my weight. I had never had a problem with my skin or anything else. It was just like I thought I looked like the size of a house when I didn't. That was my thing. Your thing was a skin. But let's talk about some other symptoms of BDD body dysmorphic disorder.
One of them was what I touched on earlier a little bit, which is this constantness of looking at yourself in the mirror or taking photos, or sometimes it's almost the opposite of that, if you find yourself having to completely avoid mirrors because you don't like what you see in there. These are all also symptoms of someone who might be suffering from some level of body dysmorphia.
Yeah, so we have like constant dieting and over exercising, which I feel like majority of people are going to say, well, I've done that before. The grooming to excess. So for example, a big thing is like brushing the same bit of your hair over and over and over, shaving the same patch of your skin over and over and over, putting concealer on the same part of your melasma all day and it's all you think about. Excessive consumption of your thoughts of this one area of your face.
Repeat cosmetic surgery or procedures. So I think, like, if you get yourself into a habit of constantly trying to fix something, yeah.
And that's like, especially if it's the same body part over being improved. So like you get your boobs done, but then you get them again because you're still like they're they're not right, they're not right. You're get to again and again. So it's like procedures, because make procedures is one thing, but then like over and over and over again, Like there is this obsessive nature, in this repetitive nature, which is what starts to really signify if
you've got body dysmorphia. Yeah, then there's like obviously the whole comparison. You spend a lot of time comparing yourself. You wait and your looks to your friends or to models or to people that you know aren't attainable, Like, okay, well, why is Kim Kardashian's waist like that I need my waist to be like that, or I'm not gonna beautiful,
no one's gonna love me. So that's a really big one. Depression, anxiety, feeling really down and feeling really low, not wanting to go to social events, not wanting your friends to see you, excessively trying to cover up your body so it might be somewhere and it's really hot and you're like, I'm
just gonna wear my jumper. I think as well, like when you get into like those sorts of strategies for coping, like when you are displaying avoidance behavior or you're trying to cover up, like, that's when you're really kind of falling deeply down the rabbit hole of like this actually being a significant issue that affects your life. And I think that that's when you really need to have a look at yourself and go, Okay, what can I do to better develop the coping mechanisms and the skills to
be okay with the way that I look? Because you know what, like every single person is unique. We've all been given vastly different personalities and aesthetics, and the difference in us is what makes us all beautiful and unique. A really, really really big one and one that I happened to me and I experience when I was young. To it, it's not even feeling comfortable in front of your partner. You don't want them to see you naked, you don't want them to see you in swimwear because
you're just mortified that they'll think you're unattractive. That's a really big one, and that one breaks my heart because this person's with you because they love you, they love every part of you. If you, guys, do feel like you've had any of these symptoms and you are listening to this podcast being like yep, yep, tick tick, been there, done that, then you do need to go and seek help because it is a serious condition. So you need to go to your GP or go and speak to
a therapist. And the number one treatment for body dysmorphia is cognitive behavioral therapy, and they'll do that. A therapist will do that with you. It's just a short term therapy technique. It does have an end, an end time, so it's not like something you have to go and do for years. They'll often it's part of the therapies. They'll put a timeline on it. They'll saying three months, we'll get there. In three months, this will be over,
for example. And basically it just helps people find a new way to behave it changes their thought processes, and this is the number one treatment that they use.
It's all about like retraining your brain and retraining your thought patterns. And also I guess it comes into this idea of mindfulness, like when you know that you're falling down the rabbit hole of thinking these things and thinking these negative thoughts, trying to stop yourself and focus on other aspects of your life that bring you joy and make you happy. And like I said, like I think a massive turning point for me was when I had Mali.
Having a shift in my life, having a shift in my focus really made a huge difference in my own vanity.
I think like I no longer am the only person in my world. I'm no longer the most important person in my world, and that changed my life incredibly. However, I don't think going and having a kid is a solution. No everyone, Okay, going in and having a baby is not on the treatment plan, guys, Laura, it worked for Laura, it's not gonna work for everyone else. But it's just another way to deal with stress. It can you can use it for other things too, relationship breakdowns, grief loss.
It's really really powerful tool and something that everybody should learn and take into that life. So I do really really want you to not shy away from this. If you do feel like there is any of this that is ringing true to you, please come and seek help.
Often like thinking that needing to go to therapy is like the most drastic and like you can only do that when it's at the very very like bleakest moment. I do think that there's other things that you can do before having to like seek out that sort of
professional help. I think if you are struggling with some aspect of body dysmorphia, depending on how debilitating it is to your life, things like unfollowing people on social media who make you feel bad, Things like being really really mindful of what content you're consuming, also being aware of what you're being marketed, because like you know, we seek
out what we wan and a not. So I think it's very easy to continue to read blogs about how to make your skin better, or to look up, like you know, different exercise programs, or like just constantly consuming content that is feeding this insecurity that you have. That's where you have to try and break the cycle as well.
Acknowledge that you're doing it. Don't beat yourself up for doing it, but put the phone down and walk away from the laptop when you are finding yourself constantly consuming information or looking at photos that are just perpetuating this feeling of not being good enough.
Yeah, I recently had a few months ago, now, I had a social media color where I was looking at people and I'm like, they actually just make me feel shit. I went through I called a couple of hundred people from my I didn't know them personally. They were people that I had obviously just followed once upon a time
because I thought they were beautiful for whatever reason. And then I was like, you actually don't give me one bit of content that benefits my life or don't gain anything from them except I look at them and I'm like, oh my god, they're so like why can't I be like that? And this?
And this is totally like then, oh, oh my god, I love the symbiosis of this. This just feeds full circle, oh world. And then this just kind of comes full circle again to what Jamila Jamil was saying in her post and what we touched on at the very start of this chat, and that is that you can be empowered like you are the one who dictates the content that you consume. You are the one that dictates the products that you buy. You are the one that dictates
what you're being marketed to. So take power, take control, use the tools that you've been given, and recognize what makes you feel bad and what adds to that, and make empowered choices to live a better life where one way, you're not comparing yourself to other people and you're not allowing yourself to feel insecure because of shit like social media.
Yeah, and just be kind to yourself.
I just want to finish this with the quote from this post where Jamila jimil has said, you have the power. You control every market. You choose what and who is trendy. Unfollow the people who tell you things that hurt your self esteem. Don't let the debris of their damage spill onto you. Unfollow people brands that don't make you feel powerful and happy and grateful for what you have. Block, mute, delete, repeat.
Both, boom mic drop. I think what a way to finish Laura, Thank you, Thank you very much. Plea's come again.
All right, guys, you know that we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet.
Are you gonna kick it off? Or am I going to kick it off? Oh? I'll kick it off. I've already forgotten what my suck is. That's why I said, Oh, what's my suck? My suck for sure? Actually it was a tie. It's my bloody toilet breaks on a Sunday afternoon. That was my sweet. It was so yester today. But you know what I did, guys, Thank you fiercely independent. I youtubed, I googled it and then I youtubed it and I fixed it with my one glove. I had one glove. I need no man met my hands on
the toilet. I'm skypy, people, I've got Google and YouTube going. I've got a R and B playing in the background. It was actually a pretty sweet suck.
I passionately believe that you can find a YouTube tutorial for anything, and you can learn a new skill. You can fix a toilet, you can get a boyfriend, you can do whatever you want using YouTube, Like She's going to change your life.
To get a boyfriend? Was in no better. Yeah, I'll have you all know, I know you're on the edge of you see fix my toilet? Thank you. It was such a suspense. What a gripping heart of this podcast, very bening. This is my life right now. Is that you're sweet? Is the toilet being sick? The sweet? Oh? Okay, right, sorry sweet? We were riding the highs and the lows there, my sweet is you guys know that we had to put our family dog down, Lily, our ridge back. I
guess it was two months now. I don't know. It's gone so fast. But my mum, so we have another little rescue dog at home, and she's so lonely without Lily. She's she cries all day, she howls all day. So they are getting another little dog. And they sent me a picture and it's the cutest little thing I've ever seen. So she gets it in like two weeks. And that's my sweet, just because I can't wait to go up and smother it to death, my love, Please don't smother it.
I have a lot of love to give, Okay, I like, I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine the day the bus is not here. So I'm not going to That's not what we're going to I don't do it.
What you say suck.
My suck is that I have been feeling absolutely exhausted this last week, like just ruined to the point where I have been taking naps when Marley naps. I am just a very tired, tired person. And I think if you deserve that though, like you need that. Yeah, it just comes from like burning burning the wick, burning the candle at both ends, just like way too much work, way too much life, way too much everything, and I
just need to slow down. But there's no time to slow down because there's podcasts to do, because she needs to bring this to you guys.
Here we are.
Then I got to edit this after we finish. So my sweet as well, my sweet for the week is, guys, I can't tell you how much I love it when people come up and say they love the podcast.
It's happened.
It happened to both of us, like when we spoke about the beginning of the episode, but it's happened quite a few times this week to me Solo and I know to Britt Solo as well, And honestly, it just absolutely makes my week. It's the nicest compliment that you guys could give, so Thank you to everybody who came up this week and said that they love the podcast, because I get super embarrassed and I'm like.
Oh my god, Yeah, I fucking put my whole life out there for the I know, because ah, I think, Laura, you're fun. One of my boyfriend You and I forget that we're not just talking to each other. I think sometimes we'll get like deep in conversation, like we're talking to each other, but we forget it goes out to this platform.
Yes, but you're welcome, guys, you are absolutely welcome. So yeah, that absolutely make my makes my week. And my other sweet is that this weekend's Matt's birthday and we are going away for the weekend.
We're going down to Mollymook. They're gonna go to Cupits, which is a little winery down there, and we're just gonna have a cute weekend together with Molly. Yes, she's our third wee all constantly can't leave the kid behind, So the three of us are gonna go down and have cute weekend. It's Matt's twenty ninth ron Oh my god, here's thirty three finally, So there's like for like three months of the year. That is two years younger than me. You are, Yeah, so I'm thirty four.
Matt's is currently thirty two, and he turns thirty three on the weekend, and so for three months of the year he is such an obnoxious little sod and he's.
Like, how old are you? Oh, you're so old, and I have to listen to that for three months. So finally we're going to be a bit closer in age. I have a great weekend. Thank you, Thank you very much. When are we going to record that ship? That will figure that one? I'm out all or not on the air? Not on air, guys, that's it. Thanks so much for tuning in again today. We will be back in two days time for our very special episode.
Ask gun Cut, where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.
So send your questions in. I hate when you do that sound. I think people are really aroused by it. You turned on. Do you know what it is? Well, no, I'm Punky does the Bachelor videos and he oh, yeah, that's exactly what it is. Whenever people make it out, yes, it's the kissing sound from the Punky videos. Guys. I'm just trying to keep like a bit of batchy theme running throughout this just a little undercurrent. It's still there.
I'm literally on the Bachelor reality show. I think we've still got the theme, all right, guys, So a little bit of housekeeping before we let you run away. If you haven't joined the Facebook group, it's Live Uncut Podcast, and if you haven't followed us on Instagram, then you should because that's where all the chats go down. It is Life Uncut podcast as well, and so if you want to send through your Ask Uncut questions or you're accidentally unfiltered, then hit us up on either of those
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