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This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, Anna, welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. My name's my name's Laura, and Matt is sitting across from me imitating me making faces and this is just going to be a shit show.
I have said this before. I like to be referred to as Matty J.
Matty J.
Matt.
Sorry, I feel like we're close enough that I can use your abbreviated name by now absolutely not Maddy Jay is joining us on the podcast, and here we have a man, a man, a completely unqualified man, but still a man to answer all of your questions from a male's perspective.
What an intro here, I am. Thank you so much, Laura, it's very kind of you.
You are wait I'll start again. The love of my life yep, the better half, my better half, specifically, the smelliest man in this house. There we go, Maddie J.
You're not wrong. It's great to be here, Laura, thank you so much for having me. I love answering these questions. This is my favorite episode to fill in on life on cut.
Did you get any specifically, because I know that you did a bit of a caller on your social media as well, were there any that really stood out?
To be honest? I would say ninety percent of the questions that were submitted on Instagram were all about people wanting to know about the foot mold that we did, Like did we get foot cramps when we did the foot mold? What would we have done if the kids had worken up like whilst we're mid because we had to stay in that little five minutes old for five minutes.
It was Yeah, it was a risky It was a risky thing. If you don't know what we're talking about, you can jump onto Instagram. We created the possibly the weirdest piece of content that's ever existed.
Do you know who actually reached out was because I bought this off Amazon. It was about sixty bucks. It's a hand mold that you know, you make a cast of your hands holding together.
Like a beautiful keepsake a cast of your hands, Except Matt has been wanting to do this for weeks, Like he bought this mold casting kit of Amazon weeks and weeks ago and he.
Schooling, You're like, oh no, I'm tired, I'm busy tonight.
He made me link TOES with him, which anyone who kind of has a foot a version is going to hate this part that we linked Toes and we made a foot mold together and now it is sitting on our mantlepiece for all of our guests to be repulsive.
It's beautiful. The company who actually make it's an Australian company who make that foot mold package thing. They read message and said, we've never seen anybody do this, but thank you so much. We think I listen, Yeah, it's really really kind of you.
It's always good to get a very lukewarm bit of gratitude from someone.
But I highly recommend it anyone out there who wants to kill some time, do something weird beautiful keepsake foot molds and you know what, you might think it's disgusting, but I actually had someone offer me in amount of money for photos of my feet.
How much money were they offering should we start an only feet?
Well, I wasn't actually considering it, but I was just intrigued to know, like, what's my market value?
How far did you take it? Did you write back and say how much will you pay for photos of my feet?
Yeah? I said what's your budget?
And what do they say?
And they say, well, how much do you want?
And I was like, oh, I got your price.
It was hard because I didn't know what the you know, what the standard price is. They only wanted photos of my soul, not mouthul toes, which is a good thing, because you know, my big toe is so big, it's like weirdly enlarged. I used to lie to people when I was a kid and say I broke both big toes, which is why they're so big.
Matt has a particularly bulbous big toe, so big, it's not the only thing that's bulbous. Okay, Laura, please, So how much money can you make from selling foot picks? Did you actually get a did you get an amount? Did you drill it down?
Look, I'm glad you asked, so I responded, I said, what's your budget? They said, how much do you want if.
You're only showing part of the foot. Do they get a discount with like, no toes, just the soul?
Well, I would give a full soul plus toes. I would give them the package. And I didn't write back, which was kind of good. A good tactic is to play hard to get, because then they came back and said, look, I'll give you two fifty.
For one photo of your foot.
I think it was for one photo. Maybe, I'm not sure. If it's expected that you at least send three or four didn't confirm. But then I wrote back and said, not for me, thanks very much.
Are you telling me we could have made two hundred and fifty dollars all you had to do was send photos of your feet? Yeah, well I thought we were doing. After this episode, they're not.
Even that good the fee. I would feel bad charging two fifty. I was almost just going to send them off and just be like, hey, look, don't worry about the money, just enjoy this. This one's on me.
Reel them in with a little like a little taste test, and then maybe you can up your price if they do like it and want more after that. It is very tempting not here to yuck anyone's young. I understand that I like feet. Yeah, I mean, I have nothing against feet. I'm not someone who has a foot version. But it is a bold ass just to slide into someone's DMS and say we don't have any connection, you don't know me, but I will give you two hundred and fifty dollars for a picture of your feet.
That's good money. I'd like to think that that's a really premium price.
I like to think that this is a new savings plan for us in a way that we can make a little bit of income on the side. I will hold those feed out.
Hey, social media starts to slow down a little bit.
That's the root I'm going to take You are a content creator. Actually, speaking of content, what a segue that was you Recently, If anyone hasn't seen, there is an Instagram post that Matt created it is I mean, it's a little bit blasphemous. It didn't get the best feedback from some people.
You few Christians out there were a little bit angry, which I.
Understand, totally understand. We dressed up as Adam and Eve and it was all around. How unfortunately women got the short straw, like we truly did.
It's so unfair we.
Get when we got periods, we got childbirth, we got menopause. There is a lot of things.
We can pay. I mean, we could go on and on, and that is.
What the skid is about. Now. Matt, when he creates these skits, he always scripts them out, and you would think that a lot of them are kind of free flowing, but there's a lot of work and time and energy and comedy that goes into it.
Thank you very much for acknowledging my hard work.
And we have to keep it all under a one minute. So Matt had scripted out the conversation that went between God essentially and Adam and Eve. And one of the things that God said to Adam and Eve in this skit was well, I.
Wasn't sure this part. Now. I rode tested it on Laura because I wasn't sure if it was too crass. I was like, can I put this in there?
I'm sure it was God speaking to Eve and he was like, and Adam won't be able to find your glitterus. This is what it was written down. It was typed up, but Matt was reading it out to me aloud, and I would love for you to kind of just let's role play this reenact exactly how you said it, I.
Said, and Adam won't be able to find your Cletoris?
Sorry?
My what Cletaoris?
Sorry?
Which I now.
Know is the dinosaur that's in my vagina, My Cletorus.
It's coming for us. Run scene from Jurassic Park, this giant clatorus jomping down the road.
It was only last week that I discovered that my thirty five year old soon to be husband, not only can most men not find the clitterists, but there are some who don't know how to even pronounce the word.
It's a hard word to say.
Say it now.
I just want to say clatorus in my head, that's how it's pronounced clitteris. Surely there's other men out there.
You said it with such conviction that I found myself googling what is the correct way to say clitterous? I was like, have I been saying it wrong?
With these years? Can I blame everybody else out there who has never once corrected me?
How many times do you think that you've hooked up with girls in the past? And you were like, there's your cladoras, Omaha, there it has.
My whole life, I've always been like, why are they calling this weird face? I thought I was doing a good job. Yeah, look that was so good. I admit it. I've learned. I've moved on. I'm learning. You're never too old to learn, Laura.
Every day is a school day, That's what they say. But general what else? I feel really validated by this. There is a study that spoke volumes to me. Not only did it speak volumes to me, but so many
of you sent it to me. Now, I have said so many times on this podcast that one of the most arousing things for me that if you, Maddie Jay, want to get me into the sack, all you have to do is pick up some spray and wipe, wipe down a couple of benches, fold a few towels correctly, fold them correctly in threes, and then maybe vacku and that is it. That's all I need. And now there
is concrete proof that I am not alone. There was a study by The Conversation and it was published in the Journal of Sex Research, and this is what it said. It found that women in equal relationships, that being equal in terms of housework and mental load, were more satisfied and had higher sexual desires than those in unequal relationships.
Who is commissioning this type of research.
It truly seems like a bit of a waste of money, right.
Like it's just the obvious. It's like saying women.
Women are the ones who are commissioning this type of research to try and encourage their men who haven't done any cleaning to do more cleaning. We will fuck you if you clean the house.
How obvious do you guys have to make it? Surely every guy up there knows. It's like, that's we're not getting the hints from our partners that we need to have scientists out there and be like, guys do the laundry. They're like, they will sleep with you.
I mean, it makes sense, right.
Men are still like, I just don't know what she wants, Like what do I have to do out there? The scientists are like, listen.
This should not come as a surprise to anyone. I think nobody feels sexually aroused or their sexual desire when there's that resentment that's building when there's this idea, or you're living in a household where you're taking on the majority workload, where you're taking on not only just the physical domestic duties, but also the mental workload, and your partner comes home after a day of work, which in most sexual relationships majority of women are also working throughout
the day, and then they're also working throughout the night, and then they're expected to have sex, and nobody is in the mood, and everyone has a headache, and most people are feeling quite tired.
I'm fine with it. I don't mind.
You don't mind cleaning, or you don't mind no ache.
I don't mind a messy house, like I could cook dinner. I don't need to clean the dishes before I have sex, like it's fine. Like I don't mind having sex with dirty laundry on the floor in the bedroom.
See, I find it completely unarousing. I don't want to have sex around filth.
But we're in the bed, We're not around the dirty laundry or the like the dirty floor as it's always been the case. It's after kids. I feel like kids is when that starts to turn for people.
I think progressively, Like if I look back on my twenties, I think I was fine with a messy house in my twenties, especially my teens, could not occurred less that. As I've gotten progressively older, my standard for cleanliness has also increased.
Just one second, Laura, I've got to put away a couple of things.
Hang on a second, All right, let's get into the questions that you all asked. Now, there were so many that came in which were look.
At all these towels that I've followed more shut out?
You like that I have one which I'm very interested in hearing your response to. As a man, is it true that some guys can't finish using a condom? I've started dating a guy, super respectful, he's kind, he's intelligent, he could even be my penguin. After a few dates, we were naked and we were about to go all the way when he said that he didn't have a condom, so I said, I don't have unprotected sex. He was respectful and we left it, so he didn't have sex
on this occasion. Good round two, which was only a week later, we went to have sex again and he didn't bring a condom, and this time I said, it's fine, I've brought them. But after a long session he said, sorry, I can't finish using one of these. So he took it off and he finished himself off with his hand.
Okay, is this normal.
I'm so confused. Are some guys unable to finish using a condom?
I think? So? Do you know the issue here? Though? I reckon I would put money on the fact that he's just masturbating too much.
Tell me why you think that.
Well, there's a huge difference even when we have sex. Sometimes I can last two minutes. Sometimes I can last.
It's a blissful two minutes, let me tell you.
But sometimes you know, we don't I don't know when we're going to have sex. Like for me, you know, it could be could be tonight, could be tomorrow, could be next week. I'm not sure. But sometimes you know, I will masturbate for my hand up. I'll say I
do it. And it's always awkward when when let's say I've masturbated that day and then you're like, hey, I'm in the mood, and I'm like, okay, well, obviously I'm going to last a bit longer here because I've just done the deed, whereas if it's been if it's been a week or well, maybe longer, I'll last like a minute. I'm they're raring to go, right, OK.
So you think that he's masturbated on the day before he's gone on this day or before they've had sex, and if he hadn't, he was if there was more sexual tension, sexual build up, he would be able to come, regardless of whether he'd warn a condom or not.
Obviously, it's slightly desensitized when you're wearing a condom, There's no question about it. But I think I don't care who the guy is. I don't care how much sex they've had in their life. If they don't masturbate for a week and have sex wearing a condom, I'll come in five minutes.
That is a big and ballsy It's very big.
I mean, I got confident, I went with it. I'm no scientist. But can the guys who did the research about doing chores finding it sexual, can they do some research about guys having sex without masturbating.
Okay, but there has been Okay, there has been billions of dollars put into the production and manufacture of condoms.
Oh, they're very good.
They have made them as thin, as durable, as sensitized as humanly possible. It is almost like, I mean, it's not like you're not wearing anything at all. You can still tell your own condom. But it is very thin. It does not impede sensation that much for him to completely say that he cannot come wearing a condom. I do also think he's gotten that in his head, like
he's like, mentally he doesn't want to wear one. He knows that if he kind of implies that enough that eventually you're going to turn around and take your own contraception into your hands, or this will just be the case he will have to finish himself off. So I mean, I think, don't back down. I'm like, if you want him to wear a condom, even if you're confused, even if you're kind of like, why is why is he
not getting there? Don't feel guilty, and don't change what you want and how you want your contraception to be, because like, ultimately that's the most important thing.
And just tell him to stop masturbating every single day. You know, some guys masturbate like twice a day.
What do you think is probably average? Like if you're going to say, amongst your friends and the conversations that you've had, I'm sure every time you catch up with your mates you ask them how frequently they're masturbate? But how often is normal for a guy to masturbate.
I think when you're younger, you're doing it like every day.
Multiple times a day, or just wants a day.
I mean on a Sunday and it's you know, you bit hungover and you're by yourself. Maybe a couple of times, maybe four, five?
How many times do you think is you're older, Like, what's a normal amount to masturbate if a guy is still going to maintain a active and like enjoyable sex life with their partner where it's not impeding on their ability to have good sex.
I don't know. Sometimes now I'm a very busy guy, Laura, because I've obviously got two girls, and you know, I'm doing so much work around the house. I've literally every night I've got a fold towers for an hour. Maybe I think maybe like once a week maybe for me, I try and save myself, or when we have sex, I try and give you everything of me.
You're such an angel. All this is a very exposing podcast episode. We are very sorry. I did not expect it to go there. Okay, all right, I have another question, and this one's a little bit more serious. Help. I'm in a pickle and I'm not sure how to approach a situation.
I'm imagining someone who's litually stuck in a giant pickle, being like, can someone please call the police. I've found myself submerged in a giant pickle. I don't know how I got here, sorry, continued.
I'm looking for advice. I did something I shouldn't have while my boyfriend was a sleeping I went through his phone. I didn't have any intention of finding anything. However, lately, oh, come on, you did have intentions. If you do a little bit of a dig, you think that maybe there might be something there. But she said that lately their sex life hasn't been great, almost not too much masturbating.
There's a common theme here.
Well, she said, the sex life hasn't been great, almost non existent for around three months, which has been really getting to me as I've opened up to him how I would like more affection. What I wasn't expecting was some photos I found in his recently deleted folder. So in his images, in his recently deleted images, there were multiple images of my friend's bag from when she stayed at my house, followed by individual images of her underwear followed.
This was two fo and there were screenshots of his ex from twenty eighteen, So he'd gone back onto his ex's profile and screenshot photos on Instagram, and he'd also screenshot a photo from his snapchat of them together. How do I approach this situation because the photos don't imply cheating, but they are very fucking weird.
Very strange, very strange. Why would he take a photo of.
Your friend's underwear.
Friends underwear and the bag as well? That's quite concerning. That's that behavior is a little bit creepy, if you ask me.
I agree. I read this and I was like, I think so many of us have been in the situation where we have found something like you did the wrong thing. Going through your partner's phone is an invasion of privacy. But I still think that so many of us have
been in the situation where we've done it. I know that I have seen things in your phone, not because I intentionally went through your phone, but I was like, how do I explain to you that I've seen something that I shouldn't have seen because you're going to think that I'm going through your phone. And one thing that comes to mind is and you might not. I don't know if you remember this map. It was before the
logis in twenty nineteen. We were in bed together and I had taken some photos on your phone and I was going through the photos and then I had accidentally well, actually I deleted a few because I looked really ugly, but I also deleted one where I thought I looked great and I wanted to undelete the photo. Sure, so I went into the deleted photos and there was a photo of a girl in there. Nothing that was lude, but it was obviously a selfie that had been taken by her and sent. And I was like, why do
you have a selfie? Like, who is this girl? She's not someone who you're talking to on Who is who would be sending you a picture of themselves which is flirty, not inappropriate in terms of like there being like a you know, sex sexual or anything. But it was like, obviously a flirty, cute picture of a girl that had sent it.
What was my excuses? Again? What did I say in that situation?
So it was a picture that one of your friends had sent in a WhatsApp group of a girl that they were dating, That's right. So it was actually one of the guys through on the Bachelor with Matt Clancy had sent the photo of his new girlfriend, and you know, and like I said, it wasn't an inappropriate photo. It was just like, this is the girl I'm dating. But it had automatically saved your camera roll and you had deleted it, so it had a.
You were very angry that day.
I was fucking I was like because, like I guess, coming from someone who had been cheated on I for a long time in our relationship, was worried about the worst, Like I was worried about what could happen. And it was hard to bring it up with you because I didn't want you to think that I had purposely gone through your phone or that I was, you know, insinuating
that something had happened. It was really hard for me to bring it up with you because ultimately I had still gone into a part of your phone that I hadn't asked if that was okay, Like I'd still gone into your deleted items. Whether I was intentionally looking for something or not, it was a bit of an invasion of your privacy. So bringing that up, I felt like, God, how's he going to respond to this? But also I had to bring it up because I was the curiosity
got the better of me. Now in this situation, I think you have done the wrong thing and you have to own that. But you have to bring it up because this kind of weird maa hanging.
If you like, what do you say? Because I think it's one thing to have because initially, when I thought it was just an old photo of his X, I didn't know it was photos of her friend's bag and friend's underwear.
Like that's okay, Maybe you can lie, maybe you can use my story, Maybe you can say I was going through your photos, I deleted something and I saw these obviously lyings very bad, but like maybe you can use my excuse that might soften the blow. But ultimately, if you're a bigger and braver person, I think you should admit to it, because I think that the honesty of saying I went through your phone. Partly because I'm feeling really insecure, I'm feeling like you don't love me anymore.
I'm feeling like we don't have the same sexual chemistry that we used to have. Something's lacking, and I found it really hard to bring that up with you. And I don't know why, but I went looking and this is what I found, and I'm really confused. Can we talk about this? I think that's really important.
Yeah. To me, I think that's a really tricky conversation to have because I think this guy is checking out.
I think, but do you not even think if he is checking out, isn't it worth Oh totally?
Yeah, Yeah, for sure you have the conversation. But I think, I mean, I don't know what kind of guy it is. But normally, when you're in a situation where you've been found out, it's so much harder to say, do you know what this is how I'm actually feeling. I think his reaction would be like it was nothing. I just you know, I thought it was your underwear, Like I thought it was your bag, and it was just a photo that popped up on Snapchat and I'd screenshotted it
by accident and deleted it. I think majority of guys would just give crappy excuses to shift the blame, and also to not have sex for three months. I would see that as a long period of time. So I think there's major issues here.
I mean that is obviously in any conversation, somebody can be defensive. Somebody can turn around and say, you know, put it back on you. But at least if there are some huge cracks and some huge flaws, you're opening up the platform for him to be honest, you know, and for him to say what it is that's happening, and if he is wanting it out or if he is completely unsatisfied in the relationship, it is an opportunity for him to say, Look, this is how I have been feeling.
I've gone through and you know, obviously you're going back five, six, seven years and as soon as you get into a new relationship. I've never gone through and then cleaned out every single photo. I'm not talking about news or anything like that, just you know, like shots on holiday, on vacation, when you're at the beach together. I've not gone through
and cleared out everything because I don't have time. And there's been moments where I've gone through and tried to find an old photo and I have gone through and looked at photos from a vacation where they're really loving photos of me and my ex partner and gone on, do you know what, I will delete them because I'm there right now in twenty fourteen. But that's the only time I've done it.
Yeah, And I guess like, that's the other thing. I mean, he's another situation that could have arisen with the whole X thing. Has he deleted all the other photos of his ex from his phone? Like is there no photos of his X on his phone? And were these photos that he'd screenshot a long time ago and he realized they were still in his phone so he's deleted them. They're not like he's just currently gone back and screenshot
these photos to then delete them, which is weird. So there could be an innocent answer to the things that are upsetting you if you bring it up. But the one that I think is way fucking weirder is the photos of your friend's underwear. Like I would be very, very very uncomfortable by that, And I think that the only way to get some sort of resolutions and to get some sort of peace of mind around this is to have a conversation with him and see what he says in that instance.
And as much as you want to bring up the conversation with your partner to find out what his motive was here with these photos, I think it's really important to do it on behalf of your friend because they've had such an invasion of privacy coming into your house and having those types of photos taken.
Okay, next question, Now, this is one that I have very strong feels about. Do you need to resolve a fight before going to sleep with your significant other.
I think it's a very good call to do it. I always try to resolve a fight before before we go to bed. That has been I think, I think since we started dating, Laura. I think maybe once or twice we've had a fight and I've slept with my back to you or vice versa.
I can't stand it. Also because I just don't sleep like you would go to sleep straight away and then sleep U still in nine hours? No, no, no, no, I'm so angry. I'm laying in bed staring at your back, like I fucking hate you. If I don't I love you, But.
I pretend that I'm sleeping, but you're so angry. Yeah, I'm really angry, and I'm like, I'll pretend like I'm breathing heavily, but actually I'm like, I should have said this, and she said that, and that really hurt my feelings and I hurt her feelings and I shouldn't have I try as best as we can. I think, like the biggest argument we've ever had where I think we didn't talk to each other for maybe three or four hours.
I think it was at the opera house. I was pregnant and you were drunk.
I was not even drunk. You threw a glass at me. I did not.
It was a plastic cup, if you're a plastic cup at you. Yeah, yelled at you at the opera house and we caught me emotional, hormonal, and I was like, you're just being an arsehole. It was a bad one. It was a very bad one.
But in my head, I knew that after we got home and we got into bed, I knew that I'd have to like roll over and tap you on the shoulder and apologize because I didn't.
We went to sleep. I did what would Really, that's the one time we didn't make up before. Really we made up the next day, okay, and then we said we will never do that again.
It's funny when I talk to other couples and they take the approach of when they have a really big argument, they just go to bed and then they pretend like it didn't happen. I'm like, oh my gosh, how do you do that? I always maybe it's petty. I don't know. I always need to for every big argument, not the small stuff, but for every big argument. I feel like we need to sit down, talk it through, what happened, why did you behave like that, apologize, make sure the
other person has their feelings heard. I think that's so important and that resolution. I can't I can't progress unless there has been that, Like everyone's had their moment, had their say, and we can move on well.
I also think in this come down to argument styles, right, Like people fight differently in the same way that we have different love languages. We all communicate differently and fight differently. When we're mad and we're pissed off. Do I think you need to resolve a fight before going to bed.
No, but you need to have that little peck and say I love you.
Yeah, but you need to be like, even though I'm very cranky at you right now, even though I'm very cross, I still love you because And this goes for fights that are like you know I'm talking about when you are irritated and pissed off and you've said and you've gotten cranky about something, but the actual thing that you're cranking about is pretty inconsequential when you actually get down to the crux of like why are you annoyed at
your partner? What is it that's upset you? If it's a big thing, like you know, if there's infidelity, if it's a you know, if there's a big catalyst as to why you're fighting. No, it's unreasonable to expect and put the pressure on yourself that you're going to roll over and be like, I love you, everything's fine. Sometimes
things are not fine. But if you know that you're going to wake up in the morning and it's going to be okay, then I think one of you or both of you have to be the bigger person that rolls over and says, I'm very cranky, I'm very cross that I love you, and we can talk about the rest of it in the morning, but give me a cuddle, because otherwise, otherwise you hold on to being right so much, yes, and you're just fighting, and you're really being like, Okay,
I'm gonna wait until they apologize, because you want to be right, and sometimes it's better to have peace than to be right.
There are times in my head I'm like, there is no way that I'm going to apologize first this one's on Laura. And then after an hour, I'm like, nope, stay strong, Maddy Jay, this is it. This is all on Laura. And then after like two or three hours, I'm like, I did say this, and I could have done this better. And we always have this moment where we look at each other, like You'll come into the room and I'm in the kitchen and we look at each other and we were making up. Now bring it in.
You're coming.
Always say yeah, You're like, cell me out, Okay, got a couple of cranky's in there. We're gonna squeeze the matter. There's a few more in there. One would be and I I hate it so much, and you were like, there's still a cranky.
In there, And it always ends up making you laugh and then we get over it. But no, I really do think.
I think it's how fucking old are we?
These are the people you come to for relationship advice. We fucking don't know what we're doing.
You'll be sixty and you'll be like, can you get a couple of the quankies in there? Our kids will be like, what the fuck are our parents doing?
But I also don't you think, like you know when it comes to going to sleep and being angry, you rob both of you of a peaceful night sleep, you know, and it's and then it builds and you get that resentment and you just get angrier and angrier, and then you're both tired and angry the next day that you
didn't try and resolve something. So I think even if you can't resolve it, making sure that the other person still knows that you love them, because when you're angry, even if it's something petty, often you can feel so angry that in that moment you're like, I fucking hate my partner. That you don't hate them, you're just angry. So I think having the rational mind come in and go, Okay,
this will pass. I know that this isn't a deal breaker in our relationship, So I'm not going to treat this argument as though it is the deal breaker of our relationship, because that can do more damage. I think. I'm want to go one more question, and this one is completely on you, Matt. Okay, why don't men wash their hands when they go to the toilet and why do they constantly touch their dick and balls?
Do you remember last night I was on the couch and I was on my phone and I was doing that little I was doing the announcement to say, hey, if you have any questions, submit it here for usk and cut. No one could see where my hands were, but I had my hands on my I was cupping it.
Why did Why are you cupping it while you're putting it an Instagram thing up?
It just feels good when I cut my balls, okay, but why, I don't know. It just feels. It feels secure.
I think it's the same for women, though, because we often just hold a.
Bread like we'll be say, like you hold your clatorus.
Often you'll be doing something and you just hold the right breast or the left breast. Mine's my left one. I think I find that.
Yeah, yeah, it feels it just feels good. In terms of washing hands, oh gosh, you really popped on the spot here. I mean, I always wash my hands no matter what I'm doing in the bathroom, because that is the hygienic thing to do.
You are disgusting. What do you wash your hands after you do?
We look? I mean, do you do you mean to tell the truth or.
What you're disgusting?
I'm building resilience.
You cook food with those hands.
Yeah, yeah, I do. Look sometimes it's it's winter right now, the water comes out, it's extremely cold, and I can't bother to wait for it to warm.
Up, and it's disgusting. It's absolutely yes, because there's an expectation that women always wash their hands, and we do always wash our hands when we go to the toilet. It's like very normal. That's ingreain in us since we're little, Like why is it as women?
What do you mean? I think it's the same for men, Like is it though?
Then? White have been one day just stopped doing it.
Because it's why I feel awkward here telling you that.
I mean, there's so much judgment.
Look, sometimes I'll do like a fake.
Wash, you know, like who are you faking it to?
Because okay, okay, all right. Look, let's say it's a sporting event and there's a guy next to me at the sink. Except I don't want I don't want wet hands. I don't want to, you know, And I.
Haven't had a rather penis fingers I had.
I haven't had to open any doors, and so sometimes I'll just like put the water on and I'll like make it look like I've splashed my hands under the water. But really, I've just done it to make it look like they're being washed, and I walk out.
I don't feel like we've actually gotten to an answer from this. All we have resolved is the fact that Matt is also a disgusting man who doesn't wash his hands.
You cannot attack me like that.
I'm sorry about that.
I think it's just men are bloody lazy and any any way that we can cut corner.
Ah, there we go. We have the answer answer that everyone has been looking for.
Men are just really bloody lazy, and it doesn't matter what the activity is. It could be sex, washing your hands, washing the car. If we can cut a corner, we'll bloody do it.
Okay, I don't think let's not stereotype all man like summer grain.
No, we're pretty shit. Let's be honest. So you always wash your hands.
Every single time I go, the time I wash my hands.
Look at you so fucking perfect on your high horse over there.
Do we have time for one more, even if it's just a quickie?
Sure?
Do you believe that there is such a thing as punching above your weight in a relationship? I feel like the guy I'm dating is much more attractive than what I am. And I also think that some of his friends think this about me. Also, do you think that this is something I should be concerned about?
Not concerned, but it's definitely a thing, like.
I'm not a fie.
I mean, I'm doing it right now my relationship.
No, of course, they can be different levels of attractiveness.
I just gave you the world's biggest compliment and you just zoomed on past.
It because it's not true. It's not true.
Yeah, I know it's not true, but I was trying to be sweep. It's like it's a last question.
Okay. I think this is so problematic and it makes me feel so angry for you, and I also feel upset that you think that you are not as attractive as your.
Partners are not worthy as well.
Yeah, this makes me really sad. And the reason why this makes me really sad is because I would hope that for everyone that the least important thing in life, that the least valuable thing that you bring to a relationship is your level of attractiveness, because I would hope that you have so many other great qualities, like you know, whether you're funny, you're a fucking interesting person. And I
think of Celeste Barber with this. Celest Barbara. I remember her doing an interview and she was talking about she always talks about her husband. She's like, you know my husbod husband, Yeah, and she said, the least interesting thing about me is the way I look. And I love that because I think you can shin up in a relationship and you can be such a fucking great, interesting person that keeps things spicy, that you know, brings interesting conversation,
that stimulates your partner in so many other ways. Do not devalue yourself, or question your relationship, or question the reasons why your partner finds you attractive because of this that you're basing it on your looks. And I think that by doing that, by questioning your worthiness, by questioning your value purely based on your looks, all you're doing is devaluing your relationship.
But it's really easy to say that. But at the same time, when you're dating, like that first couple of weeks, like the first month, so much of your own self worth does come down to looks because that's all you're able to see, Like, you haven't been able to show them that you're really intelligent and really funny and also really patient and caring and kind like those parts come later on.
Yeah, But I think if somebody has opted into a relationship, like if you're dating someone and your insecurities are around the way that you look, but they're choosing you. They're actively in that relationship. They have picked being in a relationship with you, they spend their time with you, they're not giving you any question to doubt their commitment. You can create such a level of insecurity in your relationship by questioning like what is it in me that they
find attractive? And that ultimately has nothing to do with them and them showing up in the relationship. It has to do with your self worth and how you view yourself and what you think you bring to that relationship. So this isn't a question so much about like can someone be punching up or punching down? It's how do you view yourself? Is the most important question.
God, your good Laura, Ben goodness me.
That is your peptok Ladies and gentlemen, that is my brand for the day.
I absolutely bang on.
But I think back. The reason why I think I really like this question is because when we first started dating There were definitely times where I felt insecure and I was like, what do you see in me? And then that made me question my level of attractiveness and my self worth, and then I pitted myself against other people who had been on the Bachelor, other bachelorettes, or
people that had won the Bachelor in the past. And I think the only person who suffers in that situation is the one who's doing all that questioning, is the one who feels not good enough. No one else even knows that you're having these thoughts and these feelings, but because really fuck with your mental health because.
I was having those thoughts as well.
Were you?
Nah? I knew I was pretty good back then. I was a bachelor. Look at you.
You're like a fine one, my love. You're only getting pen with as Oh now.
Five years on, I'm washed up. I'm like, shit, what have I got to offer? I don't even wash my hands, you don't even wash.
Like you still got some ams on you. All right? That is it from us, Guys. If you have loved speaking to Matt, he will be back next week or next week's Thursday episode. Haven't told you that yet, but you will. Yeah, well, I mean depends on if BRIT's back or not. If she's back, we're going to kick you to the curve. But if she's not, we'll have another Thursday episode with Mattie Jay.
Can I ask because I have been working very hard Laura Burn on the merch? Are we as merchs? Is it out yet? Are we talking about it?
It's not released yet, but we are talking about it.
I've teased it because obviously you posted about it on Life on Cut, on the socials.
It's coming very soon, coming soon, So I think the merch will be available on Sunday, but we're going to keep everybody updated across social media as soon as we have exactly the day that it's dropping. You will know via Instagram. You can jump on it's at Life on Cut podcasts. But the merch is gender neutral and it is fullken awesome.
Yeah. I mean, whoever has been working on those products has just done a really stellar job. But I don't know who it is, Laura, but we should applaud that person because blood, sweat, and teas have gone into these sweaters when you order, when they arrive, you'll see this blood and sweat all over them. That is from me okay.
I Matt has been working very hard behind the scenes. He's our unpaid intern. We're paying him in love. It would be a true HR disaster they knew what I'm paying.
Him in This has been such an ordeal, but Matt's.
Been the one who actually has made the merch happen this year, and we're so grateful for everything you do for life on cart The.
Jumper should have been here eight weeks ago in winter.
Summer.
Thank goodness, right now the temperatures have dropped.
I was just looking outside and I was like, thank goodness, it's perfectly blue skies and the sun is shining, so that we're right in time for summer to drop our merds.
Oh, where are these jumpers? They're coming, They're coming Sunday.
Anyways, that is it from us, and you know the drill. If you love the episode, jump onto Apple Podcast leave a review. Beatty Jay, thank you so much for joining us on this episode.
Laura. As always, it's been an absolute pleasure.
And tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, and tell your friends and share the love because we love love h