Single Pringle - Single in your 30

Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany.

Do you realize that we do the same you do the same? Yeah, we say hi, and then you go hi Brittany, and I'm like, hi, just hi. I alway said hello, We've already said hello, We've already been talking to each other for the last hour. I just think consistency is important so that the people know what they're getting, what are reliable, safe, secure Laura over here, And then whenever britt does an intro, she's like, oh, hey, guys, here,

Never have you dropped that in the first two minutes.

I liked how to do Myself so actually on that I have a kind of a funny story if you listen to the last week's Tuesday episode where I talked about how I almost had sex and I remember, well britt said it was a bit of an overshare, which clearly it was. So the other day, I was at the petrol station and I walked into pay and there were these two girls standing in front of me, and one of them was like, Hi, Oh my god, Laura, I feel like we're friends. I listened to your podcast.

And then I realized that I was still sharing.

Too much about my life to a complete stranger. Petrol station high five if you're listening. Yeah, things have just sporrowed out of control of me.

Britt.

I love this for so many reasons. I'd love it. I love that you had sex. Yes, I love that you had sex. I love that Daily Mail is going to have a field day with the first four minutes of this episode. I just love that like that people running to us a I love that they feel like we're friends and they often forget that we don't know

Should know if I've just had sex.

But also, and this is one for all of the mums out there who are in relationships and maybe they're in the same boat as me. And every time because I get a lot of mums who message me and they're like, Laura, don't worry, You're not alone. We're all going through the same thing. However, I've realized that the greatest affidisiac the greatest.

One for a married, boring couple. It's not oysters, is it? What is it?

It's not oysters, it's not perfume, it's not four P it's not seduction.

It's cleaning the fucking house.

So it's cleaning. It's cleaning. Matt clean the house. And I have never been more turned on in my life. That was all it took.

And I was like, talk to me, dirty talk, and he.

Was like, I'm gonna clean the bathroom next and I was like, yeah, boy, can't wait for this anyway. So on that note, you guys all know that we record in Laura's bedroom. We always chat Matt, Laura and I for like an hour or so in the lounder room and we run through the episode. We ask Matt's opinions on things, because he's a guy, just a general catchup, you know, because we usually haven't seen each other for like twelve hours. It's important to debrief on the day.

We'll come into the studio, akay, the bedroom and Laura would have like a pile of clothes here that Matt's dumps somewhere or whatever.

We always have to wade through something.

But what Brittany's getting at is that my house is not particularly clean. But that is because we have a one year old and we live in constant chaos. No, what I'm caring at to that doesn't bother me in the slightest. Today tonight, right before this episode, we're sitting in the lounge room.

Laura's like, Oh, britt just.

Wait here one second. I'm just gonna go and quickly clean all the stuff off the bed in the studio. The bedroom, she comes in to clean it all off because she's like, there is shit everywhere. Then she comes back out and she's like, oh, Matt's got this smug look on his face.

And she's like, Matt, you angel, I love you. You put all the stuff away. You've never done that, Thank you so much. And he's like all smug, being like yeah, I'm amazing. They kiss, Laura praises him.

Laura walks back in and she's like, I'll meet you in the studio now, Laura.

I hate to be the one to.

Break this too.

But Matt, as soon as she walked out of the room, looked at me and goes, oh, yeah, I just got lazy. It's all shoved behind the mirror.

It's all behind the mirror, and I'm throwing him under the body.

You can see it coming out the.

Side of the mirror. That's it. Get inst the walls. He does not getting nothing tonight.

And I was like, I knew you wouldn't have done it, and he's like, don't tell her.

I'm really I feel victimized here. I feel like I'm the one that's been left out and this is cruel.

Hey, I told you.

I could have not told you and you would have had to have given him cleaning sympathy, sex. But now you don't have to do that.

Thank god. I can go to bed. Oh God, thank god, pretty you save me.

Anyway, Normally, just just get off that topic completely because I feel like that's five minutes too much of me talking about my sex life. Britt. Normally I ask you what you have done this week. However, I know exactly what you did this week because we just went away for your birthday. I can't believe that you're so old. I don't tell anyone my real age. I still say twenty eight. You look twenty eight. No, I feel forty, which there's nothing wrong with being forty, but there is

See each other every week so many times. We have never in the last year, I don't think we've ever done anything that wasn't work related.

We've never gone out for dinner together. We've never gone like, I mean, if we go for a walk, it's because we have to talk about podcast topics, so we kind.

Do like a walking meeting.

But we've never We keep saying we're going to go out and celebrate when we hit two million, and guys, next week we're gonna hit three million download and we still haven't even been out for dinner to celebrate.

We didn't even boodiculous.

So this weekend was actually really special because one it was Brittany's birthday. We got to go away and we had a beautiful little weekend, and two because it was my very first night that I was away from Mali. Oh so we guys went down to Shoal Bay. Actually that's a funny story. We went to Shoal Bay Penhouse. Wait, this is the problem because you keep saying we went down to Shoal Bay, So just don't blame start the story.

Okay.

So britt told me that we were going to we're going down the coast. We're going to go down the coast for her birthday. And then she said Shoal Bay blah blah blah country club, a few other things. I said, exactly where we're going, Sholbey country Club? I said, shoal Bait country Club, down the down the coast. So I get into my car. I was driving by myself. I was like, I know where seul Haven is, Like, I mean, it must be around there. It's down the coast, Like

I feel like.

You're putting a lot of this responsibility on me. Yes, to be fair, in my defense, I okay, yes, something. It is something I would say I often do say when I just say him going away in general, I'm like, hey, I's going to duck down the coast.

Doesn't matter what direction I'm going.

I just say it.

Like but I say, like when.

You're going to Queensland, you say I'm just going down to Queensland.

It's like when I say I'm going to duck down to the shops. The shop might be up the hill, but the expression is duck down.

But you can't duck anywhere for three hours. Yeah, but I can.

So I said to Laura, We're just gonna go down the coast to Shoal Bay Country Club. And I'm pretty sure, Like I am pretty sure you're going to disagree that I said.

It's just like near Newcastle.

It's Nelson Bay, absolutely incorrect. I know exactly where Newcastle is.

I was born there. You can ignore me to.

Like you tune out when I'm talking. Not time for a sister.

Fight, Brittany, not on air. Tone it down, all right, tell me about your birthday, so hang on.

The moral of this story is we were supposed to just be like two and a half hours north. Laura drove an hour south, realized was the wrong way an hour, and then the three hours, so she drove five hours together.

But you were in high spirits and it was worth it.

Guys. Was my first night away from Mali, and I tell you I'll drive five hours for that. Okay, how was your birthday? I know I was there, but I gets to usually ask you how your week is. So how was your weekend? Yes, so it was really amazing. I've said it before on the podcast.

I hate my birthday.

Every year.

I hate my birthday. I'm never one of those people that looks forward to it. I never plan anything. Actually, most of the time, I don't even tell people. I've hung out with my friends on my birthday and haven't told them.

They have it known. I'm not one of those people.

That's like, let's make this a birthday month. Do you want to share why you hate your birthday? Because it kind of leads into the podcast topic for today, And I think it's really important. Yeah, it's important because I think a lot of people would feel like that. Yeah, yes, Laura, Oh, we'll have happy.

To share that.

I'm happy to share my most tormented feelings. Please share your trauma with everybody. Alicia's so I think, and.

I really did have to.

I think about it, and if I'm really honest, I the last relationship I.

Was in that we know that it was toxic.

I was it was almost like my birthday when it ended. I had a really really bad birthday with him, where long story short, he just manipulated me in to feeling really bad the whole day. I had to act like it was his birthday. I had to take him out, I had to do all this stuff for him.

I was apologizing him constantly, and I just had we had this huge fight and I just had a really really bad birthday. Then we broke up not long after. Fast forward and every year my birthday came. The first year that went past, I just felt like a reminder that I had this really bad. That time of my life was really bad. Then I remember saying to myself, and this was my mistake. I remember saying, all right, well, next year, I won't be alone on my birthday.

I'll be with someone amazing, and I'll be really happy and I'll be sharing the moment with someone. Then the next year would come and it wouldn't happen. I wouldn't

And that is just being completely honest, because I feel like there've got to be people out there listening right now that are like, fuck like me too.

I have felt that finally this year. You think I would have learned. It took me eight or nine years, but I've realized there's probably another order. It's probably not gonna happen.

I can't keep saying next year, I'll be with someone before I just make my own happiness. So I finally decided to go away with some of the girls. We had an amazing time down at Shelby Country Club, which was beautiful.

We went hiking. Much of the girl's dismay, I made the girls go hiking. It was so much food.

Oh my god, the food was ridiculous.

And it was with like it was with all of your closest friends, which even if you don't have.

A guy there, we didn't need any guys there.

Well, this is actually so all of these things are what got us to this episode today.

Basically, the girls and I.

There were five or six of us. I was the only single person there. All those of my friends have babies, are married or engaged.

Yet literally all of them. I was the only one that was simple.

But we were having these deeper, meaningful conversations, and it came up that you know, this feeling of a lot of people feel failure and they feel so lonely and if they hit thirty, and it also appears to be that thirty is the magic number. Thirty is the number where people feel lonely. And I don't know why, as a society we've set the number the benchmark to be like, oh you better, I've got your shit together by thirty, like it's the be all and.

End all of our whole life.

And then what I realized is the five other girls there, including yourself, Laura, everyone was so stoked to be having a waken away from their partners and the stress and kids and just general life. Not because they want to be away from their partner, but because they're like, oh my god, this I get some time to myself. I get to do whatever I want to do. I get to eat whatever I want to eat. I can go to bed when I want to go to bed.

And it just made me think they are so stoked to be here. And sometimes it's like the grass isn't always greener. And I think it's really important that we touch on both sides of being single and being in relationships, the pros and the cons of both, and just make you guys realize that if you hit thirty and you're not where you thought you would be, that's okay. You can run your own race and you can be on your own timeline.

Right you're like looking, I said, no, I was like, preach, sister, I've really gone on a tangent.

Yes, I was like, is that us? Have we just done the whole topic?

That?

Okay, that was my intro.

Okay, BRIT's already used that she's already done the intro, so we can just skip right to the content.

No, but it's so true.

And then like, so basically this episode is all going to be about being single in your thirties, the social stigma that's attached to that, the cultural expectations around especially women getting into relationships, and us having this like biological clock, but also just having this expiration date almost and that our value as a person and our worth is kind of tied up in are you in a relationship or not? And how we want to kind of break that down

But let's not get.

Into that yet. First, we have accidentally unfiltered.

Okay, that's enough.

Actually, before we get into accidentally unfiltered, I just want to say one thing as well. Okay, I want to talk about Bachelor for a very very quick second, a

Yeah, obviously they're lacking content because they have already shown previews that covid happened. They all went home and then they started to date online. So I think that they're struggling a lot, so they're having to draw out the cocktail part. It's not ideal, not great, but we probably need to cut them a little bit of slack because, as you said.

Twenty twenty is fucked. And then I have one more thing.

Hang, I have one more thing first, WHOA all right? Jump in there, Sally. Just on relation to that.

I wonder how they're doing Bachelorette, because they filming out right now, the Double Bachelorette with Ellie. But I guess with Bachelorette it's probably not going to be as intense. It's locky during Locky season that was at the height of everything happening with COVID, whereas I feel like the restrictions and things have settled a little bit more. Now there's a bit more normalcy around how filming would be structured.

But I mean, you just saw, did you see on the mask singer? I think seven or eight don't quote me, seven or eight of the dancers have just been tested positive, have just tested positive for COVID, So the whole thing's been shut down because that's crazy. So it's still it's still really a really big risk. I think that we're just getting more used to it.

Yeah, and also I think like New South Wales hasn't been hit anywhere near as hard. I mean, we know New South Wales hasn't been hit anywhere near as hard as Melbourne. But yeah, I guess it was interesting watching the last couple of episodes unfold and see the really different format that it's been taking, and you know what,

Really talked about that before. So there go.

There's a bit of inside a gos straight from the horse's mouth. Okay, all right, so let's get into accidentally unfiltered. Okay, I'm gonna go first. This accentally I'm filtered has actually come from a friend of mine. So my friend is from South America.

Whenever you say friend, I'm like, it's one hundred percent.

You no if you actually wait to hear the stories, not me.

My friend is from South America.

He's someone that I traveled with and met like a long time ago, but he's living here now. He rides a scooter because you know how all foreigners ride their little scooters that don't drive cars. He rides his scooter. So he was riding in Sydney. It was only his second day in Australia. He was about to start work at his brand new job, this huge company.

The next day he's riding his scooter and a love man something masks something sexy about it?

Man, Well, I think there is because you know why.

It reminds me of Italy, because they all it's like, that's where my heart is.

I thought, even like a razor scooter, we've all got our fetishes, Brittany, Like a grown man on a razor scooter just speeding through town.

Give me someone Dan and where they the tricks? You know how they flip it under their feet like a three sixty.

Just when you see a guy in a full suit on a razor scooter, like it happens if you're cruising around Sydney City. You'll see it and it's a it's a sight to behold.

There is no bigger turn off than a grown man or woman on a scooter for me like that. I'm sorry, but even if I was remotely you could be Brad pitt On. Oh no, it's still a Brad pin on scooter. You could be someone really hot on a scooter and it's just not gonna do it for me.

No, he's on like a scooter, like a moped.

Yes, okay, I'm glad we're on the same page now. Oh my god.

So he's driving into the city just to have a look around. He stops at some lights and he sees this beautiful girl. I'm going to tell the story like he tells it.

So I stop at the lights and I see this beautiful girl.

She was so beautiful. She was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. What accent is this, I don't know. It feels weird.

Okay, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

And he's like, she was stunning. I couldn't stop looking at Australian women are beautiful.

He's like, I locked eyes with her and then she he locked eyes with me, and then I was like, bitch, I'm gonna win this stair off and I was like, dude, it's not a stair up.

So he's locking eyes with her and he's like, I'm not looking away because I'm not going to be the person that loses.

He doesn't remember.

He does not remember what happened next, but he somehow woke up to an ambulance.

He'd crashed.

He looked at her.

So long, he crashed his kid.

He woke up, he was unconscious. He doesn't not happen. He woke up and the ambulance was there and the girl was over. He broke his arm and everything in front of the girl he was trying to.

Up with, and she was He woke up like a movie. Her face was above him, being like are you okay?

You're an angel?

Yeah, and he's like, what's happened. She's like, I don't.

You've crashed, You've broken your arm, the ambulance is here, You've been unconscious.

Anyway, A so embarrassing.

B they dated.

Wow, I know you would kind of hope that that was going to be the outcome.

And then he's like worth it.

In the end, they didn't date for long, but then he had turned up to his new job with a breaking arm, and I'm just like, I just said, n't what.

Happened in that? Like, what happened that you crashed?

Talk me through it. He's like actually blacked out. He's like, I don't know what happened. Imagine keeping on driving though, like fine if he stopped at the traffic lights, but just I reckon his icon, I reckon, That's what.

He's Done's eye contacted her and just like put his in the accelerator down and running to the back of a parently.

I like, but imagine that girl like, oh my god, that was good.

I like that.

She probably sympathy dated him too, ha long did at last four oh like two days?

Oh yeah, sympathy dates.

And he also couldn't do much because he had a bung hand. Take the castra hand.

Okay, I have one that was sent in from a nurse, good old frontline worker. So I'm a nurse on a busy surgicalward and this accidentally unfiltered incident happened, thankfully, not to me, but to a physio that I work with. So the physio was about to do some daily physio exercises. With a female patient that had just had a hip replacement the day before. She walked into the patient's room and the curtains had been pulled across, and as you do, you say knock, knock, and you pull.

The curtains back.

To the physio's surprise, the patient's bottom was perched up on the ledge of the bed, legs straddled wide apart, and.

The patience partner was going to down down on her.

Needless to say, the physio walked out awkwardly and exercises for that day were canned. As clearly as she had gotten enough range of motion that day, she has absolutely nothing to worry about so far. Also, who comes out of surgery horny? Do you know what I once Oh, I once heard and I don't know if it's an urban legend or not, but I once heard about a woman giving birth and then giving her husband a blowjob shortly afterwards. And I can't think of anything worse in

And that was like, let me guess what about me next time? Matt told you? That's sorry for sure. That's like, Hey, babe, I heard this story about these women. I don't think it can be true.

I don't feel like a woman could go through twenty hour labor pushing something out of a vagina, stitches torn, and then want to give the guy that inflicted that on her a head job.

It blew my mind. If anyone out there has done it, please send it to me. I'll probably put it on our Instagram, but I really want to know. Also, probably stop sharing that story because it really sets an expectation that's very, very unachievable for the rest of us.

Oh my god, that is so.

It's never happened.

Happened.

I actually want to read you. This just came in from a girl that I know to the Instagram. It was just that, And I can't believe he said that. I can't believe he said that.

I shit you not.

A guy just sent me this message on bumble an hour ago. He gave me his number and said, this might be a bit forward, but do you think you can please send me a picture of your ear?

Is an ear fetisher thing?

What the fuck? That's how she finished, He's on ear finish hit a king shame, Like I mean some people are into feats, some people into butt, some people into boobs. Some people lear into years. It's fine. Maybe you light know she got saggy lobes, but fancy not. That's your criteria before you allow a first date. Is I need sorry, I need to check your ears, age, sex location in ears. So he wouldn't go on a date with her until

That's what it was. Is she send her.

Would I'm actually I know her. I'm going to follow up with it and I'll let you know. I also had it, and I can't believe. They said that one of our listeners was laying in bed with a guy who she'd been seeing him for a little while, and she knew or had the feeling that maybe he was seeing some other people, but they were not exclusive. So she was like, whatever, I'm just going to see where this goes, not put any pressure on it. He'd already said to her that he wasn't ready to be in

I reckon I have made so many guys the perfect partner, Like I have been that person so many times where I've dated people just that few times, help them see what they want, help them be a better person, and then they're like, I'm ready for love now, but it's just not with me.

Like I'm just I'm always the one for the one.

You're like the husband maker. You're like, come to me, or make you a husband and then go on your merry way and live a happy, happy life.

Yeah, that's me. So, although I think a lot.

Of people who go through breakups there's often this fear that they're going to then go into the next relationship and find the perfect person and be perfectly happy. But I do also think we need to keep perspective that often people Yeah, sure they go into new relationships, and yes they may end up being with that person for forever,

You're just I guess the sounding board, like you're the Everyone treats someone shit at some point in their life before they treat someone like a queen. Everyone makes mistakes, so I'm just the one that they always make the mistakes on. No, what I'm saying is like you're assuming that they then go and treat someone like a queen. There's a lot of people out there who get into relationships who continue.

To be douchebags.

That stuff doesn't always change.

That's true. Let's keep piscade with people. But I'm like, you know, daywo Lee, I'm looking at that fairy tale ending. I think I'm thinking the best.

It's It's.

All right, guys.

Let's jump into single and thirty. Why are you single?

This is the most commonly asked and honestly the most hated question of any single person at any age.

I can absolutely guarantee it.

It's sort of up there with don't worry Harne, It's just around the corner, or Hello, do you know you've got a body clock? Like yeah, yes, yes, I know.

But also I.

Think it's it's like feigned as a compliment, you know this whole like, oh, but how are you single? It's meant to be a compliment, but actually it's like the most backhanded, like constantly reminding, oh, because I'm single, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm just single.

No, So how are you single? Is different to why are you single? People that say why are you sing? How are you single?

Can be really cute and positive, like how on earth do you single?

You're such a cash?

Why are you single?

Is like what's wrong with you? No?

See?

I disagree because I still think how are you single? Means that people who are single must be defective, So it's like, well, how did you end up being single? Because you see normal? So I still think that they both play into a negative.

If someone says to me how are you single, I'm like, Okay, that's more cute.

I'm like cute, Okay, I'm gonna fight you on this stone cause it's the same as people being like, you're different to other girls. No, Like, that's not cute. Stop saying the girls are psychos, We're not. Like it's the same kind of It's meant to be a compliment, but I think it's a backhanded compliment without realizing printany is like I love compliment.

No, I just I'm not the same as other g I'm not the same. She's like, this guy said that.

To me last night. It was really cute.

Look, I think it's not the end of the world if someone said that to me. But these are the sort of questions that you do need to reconsider.

If you've got a.

Single friend or anyone that you meet in your life, you have to reconsider asking on these questions. My mom, she doesn't say it anymore because I had to say something to it. But she used to say it to me without meaning anything.

Bad by it.

But she used to say things to me like I would be dating all the time, and I was so open with my mom, so I used to tell her everything, like going on a second date with this guy, I go on a.

Third day with this guy.

She'd call me, She's like, how's that guy?

I bet I'm not seeing him? Anymore.

Why not he didn't want to see me anymore, he didn't feel anything. And she would say things like what do you think's wrong with you? Or what do you think you did?

Things like that, but she would not she didn't mean that in any way. That was her way of just trying to say, like, what went wrong? And I hadn't eventually said it. I was like, Mom, you can't phrase it like that because I just feel like something's wrong with me.

And I was like, oh what anything like that.

But it's just really I think this really reiterates how important it is to choose the right wording when when you're addressing people like this.

Yeah, totally. And I think you know, the reason why we wanted to do this episode is because, like, we've talked loads about being single, We've talked loads about relationships.

So we really wanted to address what that looks like.

And for anyone who who listened to the episode that we did, which was Free brittany where, Britt was talking all about it, her experience, well, her experience with you know, Tim, and then how she felt like, you know, no one's

Of the spectrum, and all my single years have been in my older years, and I have just turned thirty three this week, so I feel like it's relevant. I also was very infamously dumped on The Bachelor on my thirtieth birthday, so I was literally talking about being thirty and single. I was sitting at home turning thirty whilst the nation watched me be dumped. So I can say that all of this comes from a place of experience.

We often say Laura and I. Laura always says it.

She's like, we are unqualified to be giving this advice, but I feel like I am an expert in this field.

I should have a bachelor Oh that was no pun intended. I feel like.

I felt like a bachelor degree, but I should have a bachelor too. Okay, guys, going to take a real quick break to say thanks to our sponsor. Also, I really want to reiterate and just drive this point home this this episode is not just for people who are single. This episode is also for people who are in their thirties and they are in relationships where they're not happy, but they're so fearful about breaking a relationship or leaving someone who's not good for them, or they've settled for

Yeah, And I just.

Think there's a multitude of reasons. The more I thought about it and the more I read about it.

So you hit thirty and all of a sudden, you're in a better place, usually financially, so you're starting to settle into your job. You've made some progression in your career, you've put some money behind you, you might have savings, so you feel comfortable in that sense. You hopefully have gotten all the red flags out of the way. You have dated, you've made mistakes, you've seen the bullshit, you've seen the assholes.

You've had your heartbreak, and you've learned a lot of lessons from it.

Also, like you just said, you get to this place of confidence where you just don't care anymore. You know the value of time, and you know what you want and you know what you're looking for, and you don't put up with anything less. So I feel like it all sort of molded into one.

You hit thirty to thirty five and you're like wow, like and this is good for me because I turned thirty three four days ago, so this is my year of happiness. Well I even say, like I reckon my like, the best year I've ever had was thirty one, thirty two, thirty one, thirty two, thirty three.

I had Malley in thirty three, So the Bachelor.

Was thirty one I turned thirty one when I was on the show, like when we were actually filming the show, and my life in my twenties was just really complicated. I mean, I think back on my dating life from my twenties, and my dating life was so complicated, and I've spoken about it loads before and I'm not going to go into it into too much detail, but like that was when I was making all the mistakes in my relationships, Like I was dating the wrong type of guys,

I was dating.

And I know that that sounds really self entitled, but like you know, I was being treated like shit. I was being cheated on, and I still was going back for more and for more and for more, and I didn't have any standards. And it wasn't until after my thirtieth birthday when I went through a really cataclysmic breakup on my thirtieth birthday as well, it wasn't on national TV, but it was pretty bad that I realized I wanted something more for myself. And then things, obviously I got

I don't want to sugarcoat things, because I think it's important that we do take the bad way the good, I guess, and I will be really honest and tell you that I have.

Had really, really, really.

Tough times and I have been so horrible to myself and to be around. I've locked myself in my house for weeks and just not wanted to go out. And it's all because it's stemmed from this feeling of not being good enough. No one wants you, You'll never be loved, You're never gonna meet anyone. I genuinely would tell myself, I would look in the mirror and I can't believe I would say this. I would look in the mirror and say to myself, I would be like, you are

Couldn't stand aside of myself, and I would tell myself every day, no one's ever.

Gonna love you like you will be alone forever.

And that is half the battle, because we talk about this all the time, this really negative self talk. If you tell yourself that every day, you're gonna believe it, that's the energy you're gonna put out into the world and you're never going to receive anything back because you're not giving anything good out.

And I can't stress that enough that I.

Know I'm not disgusting now.

Like literally everyone listening to this is like, oh, out at Brittain Hill's like that, there's no help for me.

But that's why.

And I mean we touched on it with the body dysmorphia episode, and I think it's I think it's really important for people.

I hope that someone I hope.

That you guys are listening out there now and I'm not saying this for any sort of a tension. I'm not saying it for any reason other than I want to be honest and say that you don't know what anyone is feeling, or what they're going through, or how a relationship in the past, whether that's a family relationship, a romantic relationship, how that has affected someone and what

Of that and see the positives.

I want to start by saying being single can be bloody awesome. I want to start by talking and discussing the good, positive, fun, amazing aspects of being single and what it can do and why it's really important to see how great life can be.

When we talk about relationships and we see and relationships are held up as like the beacon of what everyone should want, there is a lot of pressure to be that and to have that, but that is also we talk about Instagram as well a lot, but that is also because you only ever see the highlight reel, right, Like when Britta and I were talking about this conversation, I was like, you never see the ship parts of a relationship, and like, I love Matt with all my

Yeah.

And similarly, I'm not taking photos when I'm at home, living alone, on my own, eating a can of tuna for dinner, watching a sad rom com. Like, I'm not showing you, guys those pasts. I'm showing you like me being outnhappy. You're showing you the best highlights of your life. So it's really important that people remember that.

And there are loads of people who are single and who are happy, and there are loads of people who are in relationships who feel completely isolated and unloved. So having a relationship is not a detailing factor for your happiness. Happiness comes from doing the hard yards when you're single and like really working on your own personal and self development. So that your happiness is already there. Somebody else can just add to your life a bit of flavor, a bit more of love, a bit more stability.

But the number one point I want to say is if you're single eight you've got all the time in the world. You can do what you want. You can go where you want when you want, you can travel alone. You don't have to make plans. You can sit at home and eat cereal for dinner. You don't want it every day, well no, but like if you could, you could because you don't have to worry anyone else.

I mean, you can do that in a relationship too. Just shit gets weird after a.

While, but it sounds selfish, but it's not when I say, the only person you need to think about is you, and that is a really, really nice place to be in because you won't be in it forever. So this is the time where you get your creative juices flowing. You find out who you are and what it is you want to do when you go.

And do it.

It's actually proven that people that are single or living on their own are more driven and can be generally more successful because they have more time to focus, They have more time to sit at home and be like, you know what, I've always had this idea, I'm going to do it.

They don't have a.

Kid, they don't have a husband to look after, and I'm not saying you have to look after them, but they've just got nothing else taking their energy and their time. So it's known that these people are more likely to go and pursue their dreams.

Well, you actually just said something, which is I think I think something. This is something that a lot of mothers specifically will deal with, and women who are in relationships and they have only newly kind of like gotten into this parental role.

Actually I take the back.

Maybe definitely not new parents, people who have toddlers, small children. We're kind of sold on this idea of a happy family and like the happy family dynamic. But what I was unaware of, and I mean I definitely can't fault Matt on it because he's stepped up to the table massively now. But what I wasn't aware of is that women in relationships who have children, even if they're the bread winners, even if they're working.

We still more often than not.

And I see this with my friends, I see this in other relationships more often than not that the women still does the line's share of the work in the house. There is still this patriarchal expectation that the women do the housework. I just see so many moms who are exhausted, exasperated, like don't feel like they understand or know themselves anymore, don't even feel like they feel like they're a shell

Nothing.

Like I said, nothing stays clean. And it's this like perpetual, never ending, absolutely exhausting cycle that you get into. And I just think it's so easy to be sold on this dream that life is going to be better once you have all those things. But there are a lot of people who are in relationships who aren't happy, or there are a lot of people who are in relationships who as much as they love their family and as much as they love their husband, they can't recognize themselves

I'm trying. I'm always thinking up new ideas.

And I'm really I often think to myself, do I always want to start these new businesses?

And do I always want to climb these.

Mountains and do these holidays and work so much because I don't have a partner, And I actually think I do. I think it's because I'm like, Okay, I have the time, so why wouldn't I just feel it? Why wouldn't I utilize it?

Now? I do think that so much personal growth and development comes when you are single, because that is a time when you're able to work on yourself and for yourself, and you actually really get to understand who you are as a person and what you want in a relationship. So I think it's very hard, especially for people who jump from one relationship to another relationship. They'd never stay single. There's no self development that happens there because you didn't

Like she wasn't there when I needed her, it's now it's just suiting her. So I think it's really important to not neglect that part of your life.

Yeah, And I guess it makes sense though that there's this resentfulness when you get ditched as soon as your

Next point, how bloody quick, efficient and easy dating in your thirties is because you know what you want, so you just call it straight away. You go on dates, you can have fun. It's easy, but you don't have to worry about Oh, how do I say no to him? How do I cancel that date?

Oh?

I don't want to see him again?

Ah?

Is he going to go to me?

That shit doesn't really happen in your thirties because people are more confident and honest and open. And I know it because I'm like this dating now. And I think I even said last week on the podcast. You know how I said, I was really honest with that guy. I was like, hey, didn't feel anything with you. Straight up, I think I wouldn't have said that a few years ago, in my twenties, I just wouldn't have done I would have been uncomfortable, wouldn't want to hose feelings, don't want

I love the ease of knowing where you stand in your thirties. Well, I also think there's a lot more respect that comes not with everyone. Like there's still a hell of a lot of f boys around and f girls hate to dickhead may I see them all time. But I do think that there is a greater level of respect. Like when you're in your early twenties, dating is like musical chairs, like you are round about swinging doors, rotation, Like there is an ample amount of people to date.

Very easy to feel this like this weight on your shoulders when you have been dating a long time.

Hello me and I have been through this process.

It's very easy to be overwhelmed, to be disinterested, to be weighed down, especially when it's date after date after date that hasn't gone well, it's easy to throw in the towel and be like, I don't want to do it anymore. I don't have the energy to do it anymore. I can't be bothered. I'm sick of telling my story. I can't tell you how sick of telling my story. I am think of nine years worth of being like, my name's Brittany.

This is my job. I go traveling and do this. Oh, yep, that was me.

I got dumped. Yep, that was me again, got dumped again.

You know what I think would be bloody brilliant if we could all get to a point where we just like make a PowerPoint presentation on ourselves on the basic bumble and no proper one, proper one.

You send it to them.

Everyone looks at it, and if they want to go on the date with you, you go, and it's like going straight to a second date. It's like you bypass the shit on the first day. But what I'm getting at is I have been there. I have thrown in a towel for weeks or months on end, and I've been like, don't have energy. But it's really important that you don't give up on dating because it's not going to come into your apartment, onto the lounge, push the ice cream out of your lap, and literally fall into lap.

It's not going to happen. You need to be proactive and you need to look at it like it's fun. You can have so much fun.

You get to meet new people, you get to go to new restaurants, you get to go to new bus you might even make friends. I'm just thinking now that someone out there needs to start like Uber for dating, where you just like call someone a rotation they get dropped your apartment. Maybe that is just Tinder with Uber attached to it. I think it's just Saturday Night in

And what I mean by this.

Is like, be the first person to make a move, be the person to flirt when you go out, Be really proactive and show people that you're interested if you are interested, because that will open up your potential for meeting new people.

Mister right, it's maybe.

A little bit lost and needs a bit of help, mate, Fuck he cares, then've got his passport.

God knows where he is.

That also comes with I think in your thirties again, you get more confidence and you don't care as much. Well, I don't care as much if someone doesn't like me back, or if I hit on someone and it doesn't go well, I laugh, I laugh at and I genuinely laugh it off. I'm like, oh that was funny, Like He'm like, guy.

Whatever.

It comes with being confident in your thirties and not caring as much what other people think. So I one hundred percent agree. I think go out and get them.

If there's someone you're interested in right now, if there's someone you've been thinking about messaging right now, I want you to message with them.

What do you think has changed?

So like your perception when we started this podcast, and I know like, for the majority of the time you very much like I'm a batter, single bitch, and I love my life.

But then there are periods.

Where you feel vulnerable and you go through periods where you're like, actually, do you know what I really want someone there? And I think that both of those things are very normal to experience and to feel. But what has kind of shifted in your perception recently where you're very happily single, but ready to open your life up if the right person comes along, but not desperate to like find someone to fill a hole. Yeah, that's an interesting question. I definitely still am. I always have been,

One was starting this podcast.

I remember, I remember clearly when we debuted at number one. We released a podcast number one. We were ecstatic, like we were beyond excited, and I remember just crying, not of happiness. I was so sad because all I wanted to do was I feel sad thinking about now, like I could cry. I just wanted to go back to like I don't know, I'm emotional right now.

Don't correct.

It made me cry.

All I wanted to do was like have someone to say, look what I've done, Like look what I've worked so hard to do. And I had not one person, and I remember being like, oh my god, I've got no one to share the moments of my life with. I went home to an empty.

House just on my own and was like, Okay, this.

Is the first time I have first time and it was the first time I've really been like, fuck, no one cares about me, Like I no one cares about what I've just worked so hard to do. The second one was just like when I had to move recently, it was fucks moving me.

You don't need a man, you just need to remove us.

It's a very different thing.

I feel like I'm so like, I'm so independent and I don't like to ask for help. But when I realized again, I was like, I don't even have someone to help me move by free from the hallway.

Into my house.

I was eight months pregnant and Matt was overseas and I moved a house by ourself. You do not need a man, Okay, you just need to pay someone to help you.

It's just those moments, and they sound funny. You'll be listening, you'd be like, Brittany's a head case, like she couldn't move on around. It's not that, it's just the peotal moments where you're like, writ in this second, I've realized I just didn't have anyone to call.

Not at all. I don't think anyone's going to listen to this and think they're a head case. But I also think it's so important to keep perspective in that you know, you see people who are in relationships and you see people who are seemingly killing it at life, but there are so many people who are in relationships who, like I said earlier, who still feel isolated, who still don't have that incredibly supportive person because they're not in

Going to be a lot more smooth going for you, and you're going to feel like you can take on the world a lot more set up before. No one's gonna come and hand you something on a platter, Like I just remember something used to go wrong in the house, like my bloody toilet. Remember when I moved in to my house and now had a toilet problem. Remember, oh my god, two days in and my toilet broke. Normally I would have like, fact, that's.

The dad's face.

Time me to try and help. And I was like, girl, friend, you're the wrong person right now she had a one arm down to Dunny. I was like, I think you should FaceTime somebody else. Well. It just made me really think that normally i'd be like dad, the toilet or your boyfriend or your partner.

I feel like that's straight away, and it shouldn't be. But straight away like the husband's job or the man's job. But I remember sitting there being like, well, if I want to use the toilet I'm gonna have to go and fix it now. Because I was in my head, I was like, what are my options? Fix the toilet or I run across to Bondi Beach public toilet.

And I was like, that's not gonna happen.

So I think it's really important that like you learned to be so capable and so in control of your own life, and I think it's a really really beautiful quality to have.

I just have one more thing that I want to add to this, which is kind of like ties into the very beginning of this episode, which is like around the stigma that's associated with like being single. And I think anybody who is the single girlfriend and a group of friends who has they're all partners. And that used to be me. So I used to be the one

But I get it.

I get that there is this feeling of being like a performing monkey, and that there are times in relationships where actually it didn't work out. You're probably a little bit sad about it, and humor is a coping mechanism, and you make a joke, but at the very bottom of that joke, there's this feeling of like, here we go again. Let's make a joke about it, because it makes it easier to cope with, it makes it easier

I use humor as a coping mechanism, but I actually love telling you guys my stories.

They're so messed up and we actually love them.

Please never stop.

I like, I know that you want to find love, but as much as you want to find love, I don't know if I'll cope with you coming to this podcast and talking about the shit I talk.

I don't think anyone's going to cote from what everyone's constantly messaging mean. They're like love like I want you to be in loved, but also like low key don't like even if a situation has made me feel sad, what makes me feel better is turning it into a funny story.

And that everyone can laugh at you and share.

I want I, yes, I want you guys to better laugh at their ridiculousness that is my life, and I want you to be aware of how many crazy, fucked

But what does that mean?

But what is that?

What's freezing your eggs?

Like?

How do you do it?

So I thought it'd be really interesting just to have a little look into it, have a look at what the costs are and kind of give that information for anybody who's interested in it, because I certainly was. Basically in Australia. I found one clinic who had their prices very openly up online and it's four four hundred and ninety dollars to do the freezing of the eggs, like to actually book it in and to have it done.

Expensive and it was going to be super hard to do and it wasn't accessible to everyone. But to hear that you can do it now for four four hundred and ninety dollars means that basically anyone can do that, because if you don't have five thousand dollars cash, you would have access to five thousand dollars in a small

For you totally, and you can have a baby without being with someone, like we would live in a day and age now where if you want a single parent, that's totally an option. You can happily single parent, and I'm sure there are a lot of divorce mums out

It's comfort. It's knowing that you have the option. You're giving yourself the option. Where you ever use it doesn't matter.

Well, we're not going to go into this in full detail now because we're just thinking. Actually, we were just like looking at each other and going like, oh, this is the epic. There's an episode, but we're going to do an episode around fertility. So we'll say that and put it in the bag for a future episode so we can really get into it properly and all of

Is this idea that you.

Know, obviously we discussed the last episode about how your upbringing and your relationships with your parents can have a really formative impact in the way that you attach yourself to your romantic partner and to the people that you choose to be your romantic partners. And I thought it was really interesting, this whole idea of you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

And I think that that's the case.

Saying that gets branded around a lot, and we kind of use that when we maybe have a family that's slightly dysfunctional, or you know, you have a bit of a complicated relationship with your parents. You know, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. If you're in a relationship with somebody who isn't treating you right, or in a complicated relationship, the people that you date become your family because you might marry.

That person, you will have kids with that person.

In reality, you do choose your family, and I think it's really important to think about that and to choose your family wisely, because you know that then has an impact on the rest of your life. It has an impact on your children and has a full impact on

Being single does not define who you are. It doesn't mean you're a failure. If you are on your own and you're doing life on your own right now, it's so important to remember that you are in control of your happiness with how you perceive yourself, with how you perceive life, with the way you're out there chasing dreams, with the way you're living your life day to day. Stop thinking about the future, Stop thinking about what if? What if I never meet anyone? What if my partner

She got deep, She got real deep.

All right, guys, you know that we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet our highlights and our low lights of the week. Britty, you can go first. Okay, mine had a pretty good week. I've had a great week, and like.

I had to really really think of a suck because I just didn't have one.

I told BRITTI she didn't have to have a suck, and she said, no, that's not the rules. I have to have a suck. Yeah, the whole rule is you have.

To because it could be so insignificant. So this is it's actually more just funny than a suck. But I went on a date at the start of the week last week, like within this week period, and he was foreign, and we were texting about where we're going to meet because we're just gonna go for a walk. And I said to him, we were going to meet this walk right at the beach, and I said, well, if you want a coffee, let's meet here, and I named a coffee shop. So he said, ah, yes, I do, let's meet there.

I like that you tried to do his accent. Then, ah, yes, I do.

So I was like, but this is how I worded it. Oh, well, if you want a coffee, let's meet there. Anyway, he messaged me and said, got the coffee, like he arrived early. He's like, I arrived early, got the coffee, so let's just meet in the original spot. Long story short, he just thought, I meant, if you want a coffee, get one.

But I'm so he just got his own coffee. Care Okay. I hope that this was a language barrier and not that the guy is just totally inconsiderate. It was he's like, I thought, you meant, He's like I just he's like he's beside himself.

He hadn't got no coffee. He thought, I laughed. I laughed at him.

He's like, I just thought you were telling me I should get one, So.

So Bossy, go get a coffee and then meet me here.

Anyway, I just thought that was really it wasn't even a suck. It was bloody funny. So he went and got me another one. Bless his soul. That's actually adorable. It was adorable adorable.

Also could be that your instruction's not very good.

I mean, he's almost shove to sean Haven instead of I'm sensing a similar theme here.

I feel I'm feeling it's my birthday week. You know that is true. This is true, all right, and now I know what your sweet's going to be? What your birthday?

Oh no, that wasn't actually I forgot it was my birthday. It was just sweet, okay, my sweet, my sweet was gonna be like that. We went on a second date. But it's just a guy from Daily Mail.

Don't tell anyone now that I'm gonna a book.

Everyone who's in our Facebook group already knows because somebody posted it to our Facebook group.

I'm trying to be under cover. We got papped on a date.

Guys so cute. He's really hot and I approved the post in the Facebook group and it's stayed.

I need to get someone else to monitor that Facebook.

Yeah, anyone wants to monitor our Facebook group It's Life Uncut podcast.

Please put your hand up. Yeah, we really need some admins in that.

What's it called a moderator that we need a mod We need a moderator, We need a mod bod No. My sweet was Yeah, it was my birthday. I had an amazing time away. Laura gave me a beautiful piece of her jewelry, which I was very chuffed about. After last episode where Britt told me that I hadn't given her any freebees, I was like, oh, I know how to how to hook the girl.

Okay, hang on for it always throws round of the bus.

I have been begging Laura. I was like, I will. I was like, I'm not. I'll pay you.

I just want you to bring the ring home from work. I was like, I will buy it.

I'm not.

I would never ask for something for free. And I was like, I would just tell me how much is and I'll pay you just physically bring it to me. And it's been a year.

She's like, I forgot.

But the weird thing about owning a jewelry label is that when my friends say bring it to me, I'll buy it. I'm like, but I don't want you to spend your money. I don't want you.

I don't want you to spend your money. But I always would do that. But I also can't bring something Queen for free because it's a sure limited stock.

So I'm like, ah, just wait till there's a significant event and then birthday. It's perfect.

Had to wait a year to get a ring that I wanted to buy.

I should have just bought it. It looks beautiful, and don't worry. Happy birthday bringing you You're welcome. Bye.

Okay, what was your suck? And sweet?

So my sweet was that?

Matt Clean? First? Shit, shit, my suck?

My suck was my suck? Okay, my suck was if you guys, you guys may or may not know. But Matt does a Saturday morning show on nov It's like at nine am, eight am or something. Anyway, it's at eight am, Okay. So he does it with another guy named Matt Degrut and then another woman named Sarah McGilvray, and they have this section on radio which is called the stitch Up, where they call someone and they do like a prank. And I'm so attuned now to Matt because he's he's prank to me so many times for

Like you didn't have to sign anything.

No, they just gave me the keys and I was like, okay, I don't know what I'm doing. So anyway, I handed the car. Actually Matt took the car back, and when he was taking the car back, he mentioned to me, oh, did you know that there's these two marks in the car. And I was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that they were there when I got the car. Anyway, so that

Carry put your manager on. Yes, I was.

I wasn't speak to the manager point anyway. It went far too long and they went far too far with it until they really pushed me to breaking point. Where I felt like I was getting really angry. Of course I didn't like, I'm not someone who swears people on a phone or anything like that, but I was just like very frustrated in my tepe, frustrated, aggressive tone. Yeah, and then I felt so shit. I was like, why am I always the butt of these jokes? It's not

I haven't heard the audio. I hope I never hear it, but that sounds really shit.

I was pretty sad. I would be like you as well, though.

If someone calls you and says you were ten thousand dollars now for no reason, of course you're going to be mad.

It's like a normal reaction.

But also it's just like not the best version of yourself that you don't really want played on national radio.

So I was a little bit angry at Mat. I told him, don't worry.

I didn't hold back.

Did you have a tip?

No tip?

But I was like, if you ever do that to me again, great, now he's going to start doing to me. Oh my god, yes it can be the victims.

No I'm going to put you up as a sacrificial LMB time I said that, you can go.

What does she say?

And I've volunteers tribute anyway, guys, that was that long? Oh I said, my sweet Mac clean house. Oh then you had sex, thanks Britt, Yeah, cleaning sex. It was great anyway.

On that note, guys, and that is us for another episode.

Thanks for tuning in, guys, and thank you for all your messages sliding into our dms. The conversations that are happening on the Facebook groups, we are absolutely loving them.

We can't even keep up with them.

And I love that you guys are at a point where you're helping each other out and you're commenting on each other and helping each other's problem.

So the Facebook group is off.

It goes off if.

You're not a part of it.

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