LIFE UNCUT RADIO SHOW - 25th June

Life Uncut podcasts acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander peoples today.

This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

Brittany Hockey and Laura Burn. Brittany Hockley very sick at the moment down with COVID, so she's doing the show from hope and feeling better. I think brittin right, and.

I just like to say, don't underplay this, mistery COVID and influenza similarly, but.

You know what, nobody's going to hold Britany Hockley back. She's here. Last week was a bit of a struggle, but this week she is here, ready and rearing. Guys. I don't have pants on, but I'm here and that is the important way. And she's also not in the studio. Let's make that very clear for anybody who's listening. Brit is joining us via zoom today, but she's here and she's made it none the less.

I have seen britt in the flesh in the last couple of days. You know, I'm a good friend. I only met you guys when we started this show, but we've all connected and the friendship is amazing. We love each other. And I thought, Britney's ill. I'm going to bake her some croissants. I love baking. I don't know if you know that about me.

I didn't know that. And I'm waiting for my little delivery.

You get the double weming of influenza in COVID and you'll get some.

Yeah, you get on your deathbed first, Laura, before you get cissant.

So I text Britt this week and I said, hey, come on with croissants. You know she does push the friendship a bit. She goes, I love a juice. I actually did.

I was like, look, if you don't mind stopping by quickly she did, And you can't reply to that. Yes, I do mind, just the croissants, thank you exactly.

Okay, sure. So pulling on a corner, I don't even look at anything. I park my little mini car in this perfect parking spot and I go in and I light up and I'm standing there and I go, oh, get the vitamin juice? You know for my sick friend. She's around the corner. And then as I'm waiting for my juice to be made, I can see the beat roots being purade. I noticed this guy walked past me in high v's and he catches my attention and he's taking photos of my car.

Oh, that's Bondai for your baby?

Did it come for you got a flash car? High on thirty guys?

Well, I don't think he was taking photos for his personal collection.

Mix.

That's not why he was taking photos.

I don't think he was. Because he prints this out, Laura Burn, I brought it with.

You, old please pass it over.

It's a City of Waverley parking fine.

I love that you brought it with you. Mitch one hundred and ninety six dollars, which means you didn't put any money in the meter.

It was a loading zone, that's a It was a loading zone, which I thought was okay. That to make matters worse, the guy goes, oh, here are your juices, and I have the car keys and I go, can I get a tray? He goes sure, he gives me a tray for a dozen calypso mango R.

Do you know what I know exactly the store you went to. You went to the health food store and they don't have trays because they only do recyclable stuff.

That's Mitch turns up with these two tiny little juices in a tray for like twenty four mengos cost one.

Hundred and ninety dollars.

It cost him more core strength to try and balance the juice in the tray, and it did.

The tray has surf, no purpose.

And then you think, Okay, it can't get worse from here. Pull up to BRIT's and she's got this giant courtyard, so we're socially distanced. She's got a mask on. I've got a mask on. I put the juices on the table and I'm sitting in the far corner of the courtyard. And this used to be your old house, Laura, right, you know this house very well.

Yeah.

So for anybody who doesn't know this, and I'm sure that's a lot of you, Britt actually moved into my old apartment when I moved out with Matt. So Britt now has all my old neighbors, she has all my old stuff, and she just lives there. It's a housewall. Some neighbors are great some neighbors are very questionable, as you'll find out.

Oh so I sit there and I'm in a blazer because I gotta go to the radio station after and do big interviews with major celebrities, and I go.

Oh shit, it's raining.

I'm getting scrabbled on. I look up. N neighbour from hell decides to mop her hardwood flows and is scraping dirty mop water onto my head.

It's the Russian neighbor from upstairs. I cannot tell you. I could barely.

I mean I could barely breathe because of COVID, but I could not breathe off. Derek's watching this go down in slow motion, this muddy trundle waterfall water all over Mitch's blazer.

He's so confused. And then you see miss look up in shock, and you hear the crazy Russian neighbors start hysterically laughing. She knew, she knew one hundred percent. Let me tell you this, Mitch. I'm glad it's you are not my washing anymore. That's what I'm happy about.

That I dropped it into the dry clean of this morning. Eighty seven dollars at that on top of the parking file, A good Samaradan deed plus the ingredients with those bloody chocolate croissants for fifty backs.

And with inflation these days, we're looking at two hundred and sixty dollars for a round trip to Banda.

And then on top of that you've got the tolls it took you to get there, the petrol price. This croissant from Mitchtury cost him five hundred and fifty dollars.

And you had on the mental effect the therapy that I'll need for this anyway. It was a good Samaradan, a good deed gone wrong. I want to know what good deed did you do that backfire? The Life on radio show Mariah is called through Heimarayah. When did your good deed backfire?

Yeah? It was actually my mum turns out, so we live in a small country town and we are tube and pass this poor looking skinny goat a few times in the car and Mum thought, stuff it. I'm going to call the RSPCA and make sure the owners can't neglect it anymore. R SBCO gave us a call after they went and visited and turned out it wasn't a neglected goat. It was actually a beloved family pet that

Wait did they ask or did the rs You just go in and be like, oh, this goat looks too old, Like how did this all happen?

So I seco went and visited, and you were like, look, I know it's a family pet. You're not neglecting it, but it is quite skinny and old. And turns out they were just putting it off. They didn't want to put it down because it was a beloved pet.

And probably you probably did a good thing in the end anyway, because sometimes I think sometimes people they don't know when it's time to let go of the family.

Yeah, well we made that decision for them exactly.

Maria is really she's quite confident.

She's confident.

All right, let's got to lee highly. What is your good deed gone wrong?

Well?

Yeah, we were in La and walking from our hotel room to dinner. As we're walking down the street, we just come across a homeless woman on the side of the road and she had a sign like bagging them for money. Anyway, we went to dinner and ordered a huge space, and of course the portion sizes in America are quite big, so we didn't finish it off. So

No, maybe she was vegan. She was just really offended. She was probably just like, this isn't my style food, this is not my restaurant. Come back again, horrible.

You tried to do a good thing, Stacey thirteen six and this forest. When did your good deed go wrong?

Well, I am my good deed went wrong when I believed the alleged story of a supposedly struggling trade. He sticks me out to the tune of about nine hundred dollars when he got me to pay a deposit for work that he was going to do, and he then disappeared and blocked on my numbers and I've never heard from him again.

No, So he got you to pay in advance, in like just out of good faith.

Ah.

He got me to pay a deposit whose story was that he'd had a heap of people kind of canceled because of the rain and the floods off the Eastern border, and so he needed the money up front to get the equipment because he was struggling and he wanted to break into this business area. He was new to the business, and.

He was a full fraudster trade. You should shame him, at him, on them, at him.

Here we have connection with Tracy Grimshaw. Maybe go on a current of fee.

That's that's what We'll look you up after the show. As soon as I said it, I was like, oh god, legal gonna call me, not the show name in shape, the radio show. Well, I want to ask you guys something. I've been up since five am this morning. It's not that early. I know lots of people get up and go for runs, but not me. That's not that's not my jam. But Mitch, what was the last thing that you ever lined up.

For Japanese cheesecakes in the city. I lined up for an hour and a half.

And Britt an hour and a half a cheesecake.

Doctor Ted is whatever his name is. They're very good.

They are there. And what about you, Britt, what was the last thing you lined up for? Laura burn If there's a line I avoided, I don't line up, I go straight to the front, all right, Well not me. I avoided the line at all costs. But you know, people will line up for whole lots of crazy things. People line up yeezy, I've done that. Yeah, people line up for iPhones, Mitchell, I have I have? Yeah, Mitch, so would you're.

Such a little nerd burger Jesus throw look at what's COVID done to your brain?

You've got COVID brain, You've got What have.

You lined up for?

Laura?

You've obviously got yourself up at five am? Is it like a concert ticket or something? And back in down I would line up for a handsOn ticket.

No.

Look, I've lined up for what I think most of Australia is lining up for at the moment, and I've done it several times in the past two weeks. And that is I have spent some quality time at the passport office, just waiting, waiting alongside all my fellow Australians. But let me tell you I was there. So I was there this week. On Thursday, I lined up. I got there at five am because I was like, this is really early, nobody's that crazy. There was a girl

I didn't understand is like, have you sent your passport off and you're trying to get it back or what's the purpose of this lineup?

We just want to get out of the country.

What do you think have you applied one think it out.

Yes, what are you waiting for? Is my questions. It's everybody waiting for renewals of their past because like what happened during COVID is so many people's passports have expired and then they've had this mass like submission of passports all happening at once. Matt thinks it's a conspiracy theory and he thinks that the government is trying to keep us in the country. Probably stop telling people that, because we sound nuts. I just want to say, this is

Back after this, the Life on Cut Radio showed Hockley and Laura be coming up. Reece Nicholson from Rippol's Drag Rats down Under season two was just announced. He's here to give us all the goss. In the meantime, it's a show favorite.

Ask Uncut, so.

Ask gun Cut is something we do on the podcast on Life on Cut every single week. It is where you guys right in. You're deep, dark and dirty, sometimes burning questions, and we do our absolute best to answer them. And I have one for you this week which we can do our best to try and answer. I have been with my partner for almost five years. He is all I ever wanted because he's so amazing and completely respectful to me. He sounds like a good guy until recently.

Very very similar to how I feel about Chanting Tatum, except burning.

Inside to Bernie, No, this one this for me.

This is pretty tricky, but I'm going to come in with a pretty tough opinion.

I don't think it's tricky at all. I think it's it's not I can on this. Yeah, it is you. You cannot.

Firstly, you said his person you're so attracted to his personality, how great that is. You do not let me tell you you could date someone. I dated someone for two years. I didn't know his personality. You do not know someone's personality. After one night, he's turned it on. He's given you the best version of him. He's gonna be funny, he's got some out calling him. He's with his He's one hundred percent. He's best version. He's hot as well, very

This is human nature. We're always going to go through life and look at people and say, damn, they're so cute.

You cannot do the wrong thing on your partner here because you met someone once that tickled your inside.

That's my bigion. Can I just say, I don't remember the last time I met someone and thought, damn, you're so cute like those That's I think that all the time. That is constantly my internal monologue. Okay, I have some big feelings. I very much agree with you, Britt, but I also just want to add. And this is something that I think we often think it's way too important in a relationship, and that is like this instant chemistry. You know, we all want to have like this crazy

You said you do know where he works, and he'd be easy to find. Let me give you a piece of advice. Don't turn up to his work, don't stalk his work, don't hide in the bushes, don't wait at his coffee shop.

I think you just need to take a step back from that and leave it as the one blissful interaction that it was. I think it's a very clear cut this one.

But if you want to get in touch with the ladies, I hit us up a lifund Cut podcast on Instagram and we'll get you on the show. We're back after this. Recentleson joins us next the Life on Cut radio show Hockley and Love. Our first guest of the show's an award winning Australian comedian the main judge for RuPaul's drag Race down Under It when season two was just announced premiering July thirty on Sean. He's up there with RuPaul. Charles is up there with Michelle Visage ladies and gentlemen.

I re hello, Hello. I love the term main judge. I would have thought RuPaul was the main judge.

No, no, no, You're the most important now, the most important to us here because you were the one here with us.

We keep down this line of questioning, I'm going to get shot. A little red dot is going to appear on my chest and have me shot.

Rece you were fresh off the back of the logies. Now, some of us had COVID and couldn't make it. Some of us also just weren't invited.

But you you, you were there in an absolutely magnificent cape.

You made some best dress lists. Is this how you know you've made it? Tell me, tell me about the cape, and tell me the moment you knew you'd made it.

Well, I thought, like, it's the first time I ever been invited and I wasn't even there. I was there representing drag Race. But I like, we weren't up for anything. It was just being up to bone. And I think that's the best situation to go into, one of those things of just being like, well, what are they going to do and invite me? And we were we were like we were sitting down at chairs. We weren't invite

Yeah, I was hosting the prison. I was in the urinal like a midnight with Carl Stefanovic. He's like, you want me up from a nap because It's true. They put my voice on these like big PA systems and it went through the whole star. It was horrific, but yeah.

It was.

At one point I heard you say, have anyone seen any celebrities yet? And no one made a knowing. I was like, oh, I'm right here.

The reason I wanted to ask, speaking of you guys being the most excitable people at the logis who was and in your in your like experience, who was the most lip person at the logis?

I mean, I think this is in a surprise to no one and in a very responsible way. Tony Armstrong ABC.

Would Stefanovic, don't they?

Was he? I thought he'd be containing himself. I thought he'd be like, let me get through the whole ceremony, but he just let loose.

Did always like, I mean, wait, Tony or Carl, I mean all of the I mean Tony was doing this thing. So I know Tony a little bit, and he even before his award had been announced, So we were a couple of tables away from each other, and in the this is like a little look behind the curtain. The

Like bogies logis.

It does sound like something you cough up. And that's how awards. Those are our Emmys.

You're heading into season number two. What has been your most favorite part of filming roop poles A filming Drag Race down under.

The best bit, I guess is like getting to see the queens. I'm a huge fan of drag. Obviously it would be weird if I wasn't. It's like my favorite, one of my favorite art forms. And to be able to see queens at the top of their game do their best, it's like, I don't know, it's a privilege. It's a privilege to get to that Welles.

It is spectacular to have you, especially during Pride months, to speak to us. But I have a question for you, and I want to hear more about this after the break. Apparently you forgot something very very important, and I have a question for you about it.

It's upset Laura a lot. She was talking about it even before you called something.

Yeah, you've really bought her out.

You've put her out a sawt oh No, I'm terribied, all right.

The question next with Reese Nicholson the Life Cut radio show, which Nicholson is here.

Hallo Race, Hello, I'm haunted. I'm you've got a.

Possibly I don't have a boat. Look, it's a safe space here, Rees. But there is something that we love, and that is we love love. That's our tagline. We talk about it a lot. Now I heard a story that you've forgot something that you did for your partner.

Oh, I mean it is it when I proposed to him? Or is it something?

Is it when I Is it when I forgot that I propose? Yes?

Right?

That is okay, good good. I was worried because I've forgotten heaps of like weird, physicult stuff that I've done. It's called alcohol.

Wait, that's a whole other one. I want to know what you've been doing in the bedroom that you've forgotten as well?

What I mean, I don't know I forgotten.

You know I've supposed the memory. No, can you talk me through How does one propose to their partner their partner says yes to them, and then they forget. That sounds very convenient.

A long time ago, many years ago, when my partner and I we've been together for a few years, but he worked in breakfast radio the time, and we were at our friend's wedding and it was just a really incredible, incredible wedding. And I had already kind of two weeks before planned like, oh, I think I'm going to ask Karen to marry me. We've been together for a long time, and I want to say the rest of my life

To marry him.

Yeah, it's like, this is going to blow your mind. I have huge news for you. And I at this wedding had gotten really really drunk, like and that kind of champagne drunk.

A really romantic.

Drunk, sparkling white drunk like that. That's a particular it's you know, logis drunk. I guess you could call it.

Drunk.

Yeah, a Stefanov special. And he was sober because he had to go to work early in the morning. He took me home and he was trying to go to sleep because he had to be on air in late three hours. And I just kept talking about how good the wedding was, and how good the wedding was. And my exact words I've been told were it was a good wedding, and hey, would you do that?

Also, like hypothetically speaking, if somebody asked would you do that?

Also?

Yeah? And he was like what. He kind of like got after a little bit and was like, what do you mean? I was like, would you do that? Also? And he had to be like, I'm sorry, just to clarify, you asked me to marry you, and I was like, yes, I must need to marry me. And he had to be like, well, if you're going to ask him to marry you, you need to actually ask me to marry you. And I just went fine and using a lot more

But you forgot about that too, so don't worry about it about.

That and then yeah, the next morning he got back from work, I either hangover from like a level eleven hangover, and he had to kind of you, do you know we're engaged or do you not know that we're engaged?

I just impressed that you've really turned up the romance here. He's like, you need to ask me.

So you're throwing some profanities, attempt to fornicate, and that was your level of romance for asking fine, and to marry you.

It's called being gay. Try it sometimes.

I tried in my twenties. It's fine, let's go.

Season two of Rupolse Drag Race down Under premier is July thirty on Stan. Thank you so much, Reese. We love ya. And the wedding's happening this year. You're going to get it this year.

Yeah.

Sure, we were meant to get married in May twenty twenty, but I know there's been a bit of a flu going around, so we're holding on.

Ah that pesky pandemic thing. Yeah, you know, really long engagements are super in fashion. Go for three years that all the cool kids are doing.

Now, like you guys have been in GOA for a while.

Right forever. We just keep procreating. We should really stop and buy TV.

The Reese Niggles and everybody, thanks for coming on SAT Radio.

Shirt and do you know what? Okay? As you as you guys, both of you know, I'm a mum. I have two kids. Oh, my god, what you heard it here? First people, I am. But you know, there's some certain things that you do when you become a mum. One of them is, like, you know, you just put your kid first. Everything is so your world becomes your children.

Yeah, right.

You want the best for them, You love them. You also sometimes lie to them, but it's for their own good or maybe it's not for their own good. Actually I'm not sure. So, as you guys know, Matt went to the Logis last weekend. He was there. He was presenting on the red carpet. It was a really it was the first time he's ever presented on the red carpet.

And he was great. I was there with him, and he was so amazing, he said he.

Was very nervous. He was, and it's such a privilege to be asked to do one of those jobs. I mean, you also got asked to present anyway, he got asked and he was like, babe, I'm going I'm going to do the Logis. And then he realized after he'd said yes, after he'd locked it all in, actually it fell over the same day that was Marley's birthday. So the nineteenth of June is our oldest daughter's birthday. Now, Marley turned three.

He is backdated of a week.

We just put her back a week. And then, unfortunately, she went to daycare and everyone was like, Marley, how was your birthday because they have it on a wall, and she was like, it's next week. She's three, She's old enough to know that we lied to her.

Hang On, hang on, hang on, for dear Lush, does she know that you lied? Or does she think daycare has made a mistake and put her birthday incorrect on the birthday wall.

I had to lie about the lie. I said that we weren't wrong. I said daycare lie, exception, lieception, and then I called daycare and told day to care to lie. So no, everyone's lying. Oh no, but he's not got to know.

Do you know what, Laura, don't feel too bad. When my dad was little, this just hit me. When my dad thought his birthday was a different birthday until he was like fifteen years old.

If that was the sixties, people were doing crazy things back there, and.

His mom had to lie to get him into school, and then she's stuck with the lie.

He always just thought he had a different birthday.

But at least you're only like when she's three years old, not fifteen years.

Yeah. I think you can screw around with it. You know, you can lie a little bit to it. I also told her that she doesn't brush her teeth, the tooth fairy won't come because it doesn't want stinky teeth.

I think there'd be so many do you know what? People are going to take that and run with it. I think you're going to help with his life.

I want to hear from other moms. If you're a mom, if you're in the car right now, if you are thinking to yourself, oh, don't worry about it. I lie to my kids all the time. I want to know what lies have you been telling to your children, either for the greater good or just for the great good to yourself.

We could make like a master least you could sell these lives off. These are valuable mums that pay good money for good lies, a good.

Life, and a glass of wine. It sounds like that's like every mother's a little ammunition that they need to have.

What did you lie to your kids about? Because Laura's been lying to your your eldest daughter.

Ruthlessly about everything.

He doesn't even know a name, she doesn't know where she lives, she doesn't know who her parents are.

I tell her pepper pig is sleeping. I tell her if she doesn't brush her teeth. I do say, if you don't brush your teeth, you teth will fall out. That's not a lie, they will fall out. You're not wrong, just not truth to that. Not tonight when you're asleep.

We're taking your calls. Thirteen one o sixty five. What are your lies to your kids? Maddie's called through. Hey Maddie, Hey.

How are you guys?

We're doing good, Maddie.

So I'm one of three kids. My brothers and I are very close in the age, and my parents decided to tell us about the naughty man when we went out to eat.

Oh, I am a naughty man.

So they pointed a guy sitting us down to dinner and they'd say, that's a naughty man. And if you act up at dinner, I'll take you out of the I could make you wash dishes, and we were behave kids.

Wow, everyone needs a naughty man. I feel like every kid needs to know about naughty man full stop.

My kids.

We were maybe a different name, maybe like I don't know, naughty man just has weir makes me feel a.

Dishwasher or something.

Yeah.

I don't know about the name, but the premises there's something bad about that one. Definitely all right, Elise? One or six for higher Elise? What did you lie to your kids about?

Hi?

I was actually the one being lied to my parents.

When I was little used to put the cocks an hour or two forward and pretend it was our bedtime.

Yes, we do that too, do that so I used to do that When I used to go out on a date when I was younger and I had to have a curfew, I used to change my watch and come home late and Dad would be like, what time do you call this?

And I was like, my watch stopped. He's like, please, I didn't wake up yesterday. No parent has ever fallen for that, Britt. But the kids would like a three year old would four for a not a forty seven year old man.

Oh, Sally, I'm thirteen six five? Take this home for us. What did you lie to your kid about.

I turned around when I was getting dressed in the bedroom one morning and saw that my son had found my vibrator charging beside the bed, and he was standing in front of the mirror, singing like using another microphone?

Wow sometimes too? What do you say?

It was?

So?

I was very on spot.

Can I have that places?

Why?

Why can't I use it? Isn't on a microphone. I just saw my tools out of my I've just got to put it back in the toolbox with He started to question what kind of tool I you know, like a hammock?

Can he that?

All right?

Let's go everyone and brush.

Your tea.

Outside building a treehouse with the vibrator trying to like trying.

To nail and nail into it, just.

Watching Bob the Builder. Where's the vibrators? Thank you? Sally? See does it make you not feel alone?

Laura?

Yeah, it makes me feel very like I'm part of a community, a parenting community where we all lie to our children.

So terrible.

But you know what, guys, that is it from us the show. We've come to an end. Yes Saturdays together.

I think Brittany did a great job having COVID influenza from home brit Random a pause for you.

Thanks guys. I feel like I really came and showed up and I did my best. I'm fading rapidly.

But before I go and have a little afternoon nap, I want to tell you about the podcast we've got coming out on A Life Uncut this Tuesday now. It is with neuropsychologist doctor Hannah, and it is talking about something I think a lot of people deal with, and that's navigating friendships when you're at different places of your life. Much like Laura and myself. Laura, you are obviously getting married,

So it's just about how to navigate those kind of friendships.

Don't forget tell your mum, tay daddy, don't tell your friends, and share the love because we love love