LIFE UNCUT RADIO - 21st May

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander peoples today.

This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and this Little Bad Boy is our radio edition.

We do a Saturday radio show. We packaged it up all nice and neat and cute, and we put all the good stuff together and we drop it into your feed every Saturday at one pm.

And basically anything that's sucked we don't include in this.

But that's what I mean by say we packaged it up and give you the good stuff. Anything that we think doesn't make the cut, we leave that on the cutting room floor.

Well, the Today's show, i mean today's show was a little bit silly, but you know what, it's election day and there was so much serious stuff that's been going on. It's and the elections are quite divisive. Talking about politics is very divisive, which is why on Radio this Saturday we didn't speak about the election. What we did speak about is the one thing that brings everyone together and

So we do actually speak to a man named Josh. Now, Josh, we won't go into it too much, but Josh traveled around Australia. Bless his soul.

He is a hero, He is a legend.

He sampled every sausage sizzle from every Bunnings in Australia. It took him two years.

Could you imagine, like everybody has different hobbies, imagine that being your hobby, Like what are you gonna do with your life? I'm gonna go and I'm gonna try every single sausage.

I don't think he thought of it as a hobby. I think he thought of it as a sur to Australians. I think that's what and he does. He does tell us where the best one is from. But Laura, just like, out of curiosity, what is your If you're making a sausage sizzle, what do you just tell me how you build it? Do you put anything extra on it? Plain piece of bread.

What sauce?

Okay, white bread, just like a square white piece, a square piece of white wonder white bread. Butter, always butter. Who I love it butter.

And I'm all for a chicken sausage. Is that weird?

But I'm not really big on beef sausages. A chicken sausage with tomato sauce, it makes me really fucking happy.

Interesting, Okay, I'm just gonna give you my little run down. I'm one piece of white bread. Also one normal beef sausage thin. I like the long s anyones. I don't like the shorts. This one's long skinny sausage.

The only time that I like a long thin sausage.

Same on a piece of bread. I have a long thin sausage. I love to put some onion on the top, and I am Usually I'll take whatever sausage going. You know. Sometimes I don't have the options, but my go to if I had the choice, would be a barbecue sauce.

I cannot believe the detail that you just went into.

Also really hungry, so I'm salivating to.

Know about this.

I sometimes think as well, like obviously our radio show is so very different in content to the stuff that we do on a Tuesday or on a Thursday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are like the insightful deep I mean, often very silly and funny as well.

But this the radio show is just a good laugh.

So if you wanted just to have a chuckle along, listen to some fluffy content that is exactly what this is. Otherwise, we'll see you back here on Tuesday, or speaking of Tuesday.

Just while I've got you, segwe Tuesday.

This coming week, we have the most fucking incredible episode for you, and I just want to take this opportunity to let you guys know, put it sounds like an Oscar speech, I'd like to take this opportunity.

To thank my mom.

No, put it in your reminders, like really strap yourselves in for this one. We are interviewing this wonderful woman. Her name is Jessica Buchanan. Now Jessica was Her story is unbelievable. Why she was living and working in Somalia, and whilst she was there, she was working for a com me who would detect land mines and help the communities to try and figure out where and what might constitute a landmine.

It was.

It was more of an education piece, and while she was working there, she was kidnapped and held for ransom for over ninety days in the desert by Somali rebels, by Somali pirates. It is honestly, it's one of and I don't even know how to say whether it was my favorite, but it was like such an incredible story and Britain I were we could have spoken to her forever.

From the moment I read her story, I was so hooked, and then speaking to her was just a different level. She was the ransom.

I don't know.

I don't even know how to I don't even know how to explain it. But she was ninety days in the desert, thinking every single day she was going to die, and knowing that the ransom was for forty five millions, So the ransom wasn't even accessible, Like it wasn't a five hundred thousand dollars ransom, it wasn't a one million dollar ransom. It was forty five million. So she's in the desert thinking, not surely, no one's coming from me, no one's got forty five million. Wouldn't believe her that

So please put that on your calendars, guys for coming up. It's coming up on Tuesday's episode. But let's tell you about what's on this episode. Now, Laura uses everyone else's toothbrush.

I'll row you under the bus.

Okay, we talked about there's been this thing that happened on the View. It's that TV show with Whoopie Goldberg, and basically they discussed whether it is or isn't acceptable to use your partner's toothbrush. Now I use Matt's toothbrush, and apparently he's got an issue with it, So we get into that. We also speak to Will and Woody, who are coming up on The Apprentice at the moment, so that the Apprentice starts on Sunday night, which is tomorrow. If you listen to this when it comes out, and

Well, that's it, let's get into it.

The Life on Cut radio show.

I want to address something that just happened on the way to the station. I just went and picked Laura up. She opens the door and she furiously says, give me a pen and paper. Immediately I know you have one, and I was like, oh, I'm not even gonna question this. I did it. Let's talk about what you did, Laura.

Oh yeah, there was someone parked terribly on the street and I wrote a note and made sure that they're aware of it. Oh okay, no, producer, Keisha. We spent five minutes trying to get her very small car into a very very tight park in a space where three cars can park. And I tell you that is my bugbear.

I hate it.

I hated it with all my soul when people park and they just selfishly leave a meter out from the from the signpost.

Because no one can use that meter behind you, No one, not even a motorbike. Really, it's a dead space.

Okay.

I did, after I wrote the letter think maybe there might have been a scooter or something part it earlier and the scooter's just gone.

But never that's probably were their part.

Did I think in my younger years that I would be the woman who would write an angry note and leave it on someone's car?

What did I am?

Yeah?

What did you write it?

Then?

I write it for it?

And you didn't sign it off? With my did I it was my name on.

The Hockli Kiki case stationary with my address on It was the back of a Bill Brittany Instagram.

Lawesscy management call in.

That's definitely not I just wrote.

I just wrote a very passive, aggressive note that said, excuse me. I said, please, can you park more considerately in the future, if you could park closer to the sign, it would allow for more cars to park in this area.

This is extremely every word.

Is what I wrote.

Which, now that I'm.

Playing passive Laura, I'm also embarrassed for myself listening to what I just said.

Have I turned into a middle aged woman?

Yeah, you turned into a Karen.

You are a middle aged woman.

I'll tell you are blinking.

You miss it.

I just realize that you are a middle aged woman.

And you know what, I was really cranky too, Like I felt really angry about it, the way that the guy parked.

But where do you draw the line, Like, what's next?

You'd be one of those neighbors that call the cops on your poor young couple having a party at midnight.

Hundred percent she would. I have already called them, not all my now neighbors, but in the past.

Yes, I've called as in nine neighbors now my current neighbors.

No, in my old house, I used to live right across from like a party house. And yeah, eleven o'clock crawls round on.

I'm so I'm embarrassed most eleven PM we're talking didn't go through the night after ten thirty two day, Laura Karen burn this past end.

I am cutting myself above for next Saturday. And yeah, you can call me Karen from now on. And if your name's Karen, you just wear that with pride. Can we don't even say that as an insult.

And doubling down?

Karen call you in twenty two your Saturday Morning for the last time.

Radiation Red Hockley and Laura Ben.

Tomorrow night, very excited for the Celebrity Apprentice it is coming back, and two of our coworkers you're at Kiss FM adjoining the cast our very own Will and Woody will be on Telly's and they join us.

Now, Hello boys, Hello, great to be How do you feel about doing a reality TV show?

What was the experience like for you guys?

Pretty full on?

You guys would both know like it's terrifying the whole thing you don't know how it's going to be cut together. You know you're in a space with a whole bunch of egos and personalities, and you realize that producers are doing things to try and get drama, and you can't help but get absorbed in this master manipulators.

Producers are the sooner you know that, the better well said, well.

Said, and I feel like we knew that, and you know that's going on, But you still get absorbed in the game.

You definitely do. You lose fact of you lose sight of what's real.

But I think the interesting thing of doing a part of doing a celebrity reality show is you're doing a celebrity at reality show because of one of two reasons. Either A, you're like slightly might have screwed up publicly and hence you're trying to claw back your.

Image redemptions redemption A or option B.

You're not quite in celebritieszone yet, so you're trying to get more famous. And I'll let you guys figure out which one we were.

In your own time.

But we were definitely in category B there.

So we were.

Tiny fish in a big pond. So the big scary part of it was that there were these people who were genuinely previously very big celebs who were clawing back their image and the jostling for position was terrifying.

I want to know, though, because obviously you've got to have connections, right, Like that's the whole premise of the show. You've got to be able to call on your famous and your wealthy friends.

How did that go for you guys?

Like, if you're saying, okay, we wanted to do what we wanted to get more famous, what were your connections?

Like you'll see an episode onne you'll see tomorrow night. Because without giving too much away, the challenge involves a requirement to have a black book effectively, which is contacting powerful people who have a lot of who will donate towards a certain thing.

Will and I had nothing.

Like we won one word on the first page.

We would pretend we would pretend to be on the vote.

We would just stand around, who are you calling?

And I'd be like, and they'd be on the phone to like a big four bang and it'd be like and they'd come back in they'd be like, were like eighty grand and then a high five and we'd be on the phone to our.

Dads, Yo, please dat.

You know how I borrow some money for a car, like when I was twenty one.

We're back there, and then we just try and join in with the celebration.

So when someone did get a big donation, we'd just sort of join into the hugs. No iron team guys, do they get.

To know how much you contribute or do you just contribute something as a group, so no one knows that you guys didn't pull your weight.

So no, So we didn't think anyone would find out what we contributed because obviously a team score.

But then in the boardroom they go like they know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

And that's a terrifying moment in episode one.

Because it all comes down to who your charity is as well. So everybody's got this charity that they're playing for and have all promised the charity. We're going to win them tens of thousand dollars on this game, and if you don't, you feel awful, and if other people aren't lifting their weight for your charity, it gets nasty fast.

Because we had no skills, so we were like like the dead weight.

You had the money, no connections, no skills, what did you bring you know what you guys, have you had the gift of the gab, that is for sure.

Seven o'clock Channel nine, you can watch Will. But the boys are sticking around. We had a whole bunch of headlines that have been written about you. Some aer are completely real from Daily Mail. Some we've just blatantly made up, and we're going to read them to you, and it's your job to debunk headline or head lie.

You're good to stick around.

I'm so excited for this because nothing has been written about me and name.

Through the doldrons of the Daily Mails.

I'm all right, So we have some headlines or headlines that have been written about you, guys, and this is your opportunity to either defunct them, tell us what has happened, or you know what, tell us if it's completely made up. So Number one radio host Will McMahon says it's about time. She's been bugging me about him dropping the knee for months, in response to news of co host Woody Whitelaw's engagement to girlfriend Mimi Gibbs.

Wow wow, I think I can debunk this one pretty early because the only time the Daily Mail has ever written a piece about me, they called me, Will McCann. They have no idea who I am, and I've never spoken to them.

To them, I'm just another bald guy in the media.

That's why I did Celebrity Apprentice so I could get a little bit more clout with these people.

So it's not a true story, unfortunately.

Well that cloud.

Is certainly coming.

Don't worry.

Don't wish it upon yourself.

Okay, Samantha jades Laan's a nasty, bexamic in explosive new Celebrity Apprentice footing what happens?

So you've now gone to headlines away from us.

There aren't any about us.

Now.

The game has just become a real headline.

Or let's go for.

Some real celebrities and celebrity offrentes.

That's true, that's true. That'll be a real headline.

All right, we know it's true.

We want to know a bit more of the juicy journal, but I don't think we're getting anything out.

Of are we.

No, no, no, no no, we can hit you.

It was good.

We dictually do a podcast every night. We sat down and recorded all this stuff during celeber printers so people be able to hear the behind the scenes. So I'm actually feeling okay talking about this. I don't want to give too much away, but Sammy Jade, as you would know, is probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet

Was there something about Sammy's mum?

There was a difference of creative opinion about a fashion item.

Yes, right, I do. I do like how diplomatic you put that.

You did set up Samantha jadas being the most wonderful girl in the world, and you were like, And then Beck, there was a fight.

We all know how you really feel and signed a non disclaimer. Let's not talk about this.

I'm okay with it. I'm really okay with it. Was unfairing that Beck was then because I'm not.

Will mcmont says, the only thing harder than hosting a daily radio show is going bald in my twenties.

Was that a statement paper.

From you?

Its true, Let's finish a five.

We love.

Also the best of luck tomorrow night. We can't wait to watch.

The show.

Pleasure you can get obviously a celebrity apprentice seven o'clock Tomorrow night, Channel Night and Will What a week days on around Australia Sea Boys.

This is the Life on cart radio.

Show and Laura Beni is democracy Sausage day, guys, what a day to be alive?

It day to be alive.

And the only thing that is less divisive than the election, the one thing that brings us all together is certainly not politics. No, it's the sausage sizzle that you might find at your local school ground or wherever it is that you're voting today.

Let's be real. For a lot of people, I think that's the incentive to go and vote.

But I love It's not climate change, it's not all the other policy melting icebergs.

Don't be ridiculous. It's the sausage. But I love a good sausage sizzle. I do. But I think there's a lot of different criteria for a sausage scizzle, Like what makes a good sausage sizzle? Is it the bread? Is it the sausage itself?

Do you guys like the piece of the square like wonder white or do you like an actual role?

No, it has to be white bread.

It has to be squary, cheap wonder white bread car filled bread.

With onion one yet sauce drizzled on top. That's what I But look, there's one way that we can really find out, and that is to speak with a young oudie lad named Josh. Now, Josh, guys, Josh went around Australia and ate a sausage at every single Bunning store that there is. So he is the man that is going to be able to tell us what makes a good snack.

Well, let's talk to you. Let's get Josh on. Hello, buddy, thanks for coming on the show. A sausage man.

We are good now, Josh, you are a too blue Australian. You know your way around a sausage, mate, don't you?

You just drop mate straight in their Laura, I did.

How many sausages do you think you have consumed?

It's got to be it's gotta be up there. In the four hundred of a Sorry Find Snags, there's about two hundred and eighty odd stores that we hit up about two sausages the store.

So we went to every store. The challenge was when they.

When they weren't running the sausage sizzle like for Freston.

We went to w A.

We drove three days across the across another board only only only to get the experence to find I didn't have the bloody sausage sesel running.

So you didn't You didn't even call ahead to make sure they were going to be running the sausage sizzle.

It was COVID time. Everything was very last minute.

What criteria did you have? So what do you judge the perfect sausage off?

The purpose or tool wasn't necessarily to find the best snag. It's just to eat one of every store. However, for myself it's a it's gonna have a nice bit of girth on it. Yeah, some girths CHRISTI if you roll your nuckle over and just get that nice palm full there, nice snug.

Why Josh, I have to ask why why did you want to do this?

What was it that inside you?

One day you woke up and said they want to try every single bunning sausage?

Why not?

You know, there was a pretty grim time.

It was all through COVID.

It was all just use. Nothing was going on, a harder something to look at, you know.

So how long did it take you to do this? Mission.

It's supposed to take eight months, but this thing because of COVID pushed out for two years. So did you have.

Any sponsors or was this out of your own pocket?

I did Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania and the Act off my own back in Queensland and sports that jumped on w A and the Northern Territory.

I mean, I feel like Bunnings those you were a voucher or something. This is like the best promo.

Bunnings gave me a hoodie so that.

Was not.

Now Josh, with the election, well, will we find you by the sausage sizzle?

I will definitely be out there getting some democracy snag.

But what's better a Bunning snag or a democracy snag? Josh?

I mean, you can't go wrong with a Bunning snag.

Well, I have one last question because we have to know, for everyone out there that loves the sausage as much as you and I, where is the best sausage from the.

Best sausage is always in Seaford, South Australia. You've got chickens, beef, pork, whole meal, hold rain bread. They've literally had the worst.

It's like four It's funny sausage and Star.

Buddy, Well, good luck today.

We hope you find the perfect sausage on your Democracy Sausage jawn to and yeah, we'll be going out to find one as well.

Thanks Joshi, Thank thanks.

Fred Hockley and Laura Ben getting saucy for your Saturday morning.

A Life Cut radio show.

Ladies, have youve seen what's trending online? Something chaotic happened on the View the talk show in the US this week.

Yes.

Now, if you guys don't know which show this is, this is the one with Willy Goldberg. It's kind of like a bit of a round table. Yes, they discussed different things, bring out really deep and important topics. And one thing that they discussed recently, it was with Sarah Silverman and she said that her and her boyfriend share a toothbrushh now, no, okay, look before you knock it, hear me out. I sometimes use Matt's toothbrush. Oh, they're they're right there. Sometimes if I can't find mine, it's

I'll just use me.

In a twenty seven bedroom home, the bathroom. You don't have to go to the West Wind to get the toothbrush.

It's true, it's like about five meters from the other bathroom.

No, but like, I just don't care. I don't see a problem with it. If it's close, if it's the closest toothbrush to me, I will use Matt's toothbrush. He absolutely hates it, like it is one of his bugbears in our relationship, to the point where he has yelled at me before walked into the bathroom.

I've been mid brushing, and he'll be like, why don't you just use your own?

Why it's disgusting? But hear me out, why does everyone think this is so disgusting?

I'm on Maddie Jay's side here.

If you will put that person's genitals in your mouth, why can't you put their toothbrush in your mouth?

There's something different about it. Do you know what it is? I have used my partner's toothbrush in the past, but I do it when it's an emergency, like when there is I've forgotten it. I'm camping, there's nothing else around, I can't go to the shop. If I absolutely have to, I will use it, and I will let them use mine.

Can you don't just be like nah, let's just try it.

Let's just mix it up. It's literally little bristlesia. It's their bacteria being stuck. They get food out of your teeth, and then you're putting the thristles.

I know what a toothbrush does.

Thank you, guys. I don't know if you actually understand the size behind it.

But if you're gonna share everything else, if you're gonna bump ugly as if you're gonna kiss, if you're gonna put other things in your mouth that probably should stay in pants, surely it's fine to use a toothbrush like I. I just don't think it's that big a deal in all of this.

Well, I think mixtury and I agree that we will agree to disagree with you.

I'd rather use a loofer on my tooth. My partners sausage? Which sage we talk?

We want to know here at the lifel on Cut radio show, What weird thing do you and your partner share?

Is what we want to know.

I also sleep in matt sundaies. That's clean ones.

Thank you for clarifying what.

Weird things do you and your partner share?

Colus thirteen one six five will get you on the air chiens called through Hatta again, why are you and your partner grows?

I think it's pretty gross because we share socks. Look are they clean socks or are they dirty socks?

We have been partial to share some.

Dirty so.

Clean no clean?

Sometimes my hospitals taking socks off at the door, like when we go inside, and I'm partial to pop those on and put my shoes on enough like go take and I.

Do the same thing. I think we're just disgusting. But it's okay.

I wear Matt's dirty socks all the time if they're the closest ones to my shoes.

And we don't own enough ankle socks, and that's like prime real estate in our household.

Guys, that is rain clean socks are fine. Dirty socks toothbrushes that are used. No, it's a hard nose.

It's okay, teak and I'm here with you.

Let's got to hate me Shoon thirty one O six five, Hello Hamish, what is your dirty thing you do with your partner?

Hello? Well, my partner and I we actually shared a toe.

Do you own one?

Towels?

But they're always mine?

What if they're soaking wet? We just still use It is this like a want to be close to each other thing. Well, she's only human by the sounds of it, that's a pretty sexy accident.

I think she's just choosing whichever towel is the drier towel, in which case I don't blame her either.

Yeah, well she does show her three.

Maybe that's one wet do you guys need to just buy some more down came on, Its really cheap.

You can go get yourself, go get her a towel. Thank you.

We have one last call. This just came through.

Actually, this is a last minute call a friend of the show, and Maddie j is.

Maddie Jays here. Hi, Maddie.

Hey, guys, Look, I don't want to be that who you know buzzs in and gets all angry.

And that's exactly what you want to do.

I am disgusted. I've pulled over. There's a couple of things that Laura does that I really don't like, but my pet peas. The thing that absolutely sends shivers down my spine is when she uses my toothbrush. I throw it out.

You did not throw it out.

Also, look, I mean it's.

Not that bad, you know what it is. It's unnecessary. That's the key word here. I think you've got your own toothbrush, you've got your own bathroom if you want it. There's just no need for it. It's almost like it's a sick fetish.

When Laura uses my toothbrush. The way I look at that utensil, it's like it's become a toilet brush. It's effectively goes there.

Or is that what you're saying.

I don't use my bum Like what are you talking about?

But I just find like, how gross is it when you kiss somebody who hasn't brushed their teeth. All of that bad red you is left of my toothbrush. It's absolutely revolting.

Do you know?

Do you know what, matt If you can't have me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

When your best, well played.

Thank you, Mattie. He's still going.

He's like, He's like, in addition, what else?

What else?

If you got a problem with air, it out come on sunshine.

When you were odd socks.

That's all.

I love you back next week.

Ladies, don't forget. Tell your mom to you dad, tell you Doug, tell your friends, and share the love, because.

Well you guys, are behind radio microphones and not with your own singing careers is beyond me.

I get that alone.

Are you sending you?

The live on Cut Radio show with Hockley and Laura

Ben heard in the catch up podcast on iHeartRadio.