Hey, guys, welcome back to episode two of Life on Cut. I'm Britt and I am here with my co host Laura's up. Guys, Look, it has been a pretty huge few weeks. Some big things have been happening. Laura, you went away and had a little baby, and I got kicked off online dating, so I feel like it's safe to say we're both kicking some life goals.
It's definitely been an eventful a few weeks, that is for sure.
We have so much to talk about today, and it's for those that are just catching up. It's been a few weeks in between the last podcast that we recorded because Laura did have to go and have a baby, so we needed to put that on pause for a few weeks. But I think we're four weeks post birth, is.
That right, Laura nowhere almost six weeks now. Mally's Mali Nay is almost six weeks old, so six weeks. So a lot has happened and we're definitely going to delve into that. But before we do, have you seen the Bachelor promos? I am obsessed, yess, I have seen it. I spend my entire life on the couch now, so I can't possibly have missed it. It looks amazing and I cannot wait for this season to start.
Yep, so I am irrationally jealous. Actually, it's probably not even irrationally. It's rationally jealous because they look like they're doing the most epic things. I saw some flighter jets, and I saw some of the most romantic dates.
I was actually gonna ask you how you felt about the batch and whether you felt jealous about him being the Bachelor, because, quite honestly, I think that that agnew, that Matt and agnew. I think they've cast him so well. I think he's going to be a brilliant bachelor.
Seriously, the number of people that messaged me saying why, I hope please tell me you're an intruder on this show, I'm not.
Yeah, but how do you feel like in comparison, do you wish that you're in this season verse last season or are you quite happy with how your story panned out.
I do believe everything happens for a reason, and I'm happy with how my story panned out. Obviously, Nil and I were not meant to be, and we'd Sophie and I had this great story, you know that was women supporting women and I love that, But how could you
not be jealous looking at doctor Matt. I'm jealous of the fact that he genuinely looks like he's out for love and he looks like he found it from you know, the promos they're saying that he says he loves her at the end, And yeah, I think that with this series, we're going to get back to our traditional love story and I think that they haven't gone for their celebrity they have gone back to their original sort of storyboard where they've found an exceptional, normal person. Well that's yeah,
he's not a celebrity. He's looking for love. He is intelligent, he seems lovely. I just feel like they wouldn't have cast somebody.
That wasn't absolutely and he's a real Australian bachelet like he has. He ticks all the boxes, he's got everything going for himself. He's the sort of guy that if you met him in the real world, you'd be like, holy shit.
This guy is amazing. Yeah, that's what the Bachelor's supposed to be. And I love that. I mean, it was it was always going to happen, but I love that they put the slow mow ripping the shirt off, running down the beach, mat on the ad hostly panning up from the ads. He's got his oil on, he's looking on points. I actually watched that and thought that was such a Maddy J promo, Like I did it for Nick too. It's just identical. Put her shirt on, no,
take it off, leave it off. I think they're brilliant promos. Because I was hooked. I was like, dang, I'm shorty. Yeah, they really have gone back to the original storyboard with this one. Just oil them up and throw them on the beach. That's it. Anyway, I think well done. Well done to the casting them mat there. But a few of the things that I wanted to talk about. Actually, let's just chat about how I got kicked off bumble before we get into you having the baby. Let's talk
about my life event. Oh yeah, Britt, let's talk about your life events. What's been happening, babe? Come at me. So I finally went back on online dating. It's been a year. Everyone said you need to get back on there because people don't approach we in real life anyway.
People don't. Actually, I was talking to a really good friend just recently who's a publican. And people don't even go out anymore. People don't socialize in the way that we used to because we used to go out for the purpose of trying to meet someone, and now that's all done online.
So I've seen people out at the bar before swiping on Tinder. Yeah, and I was like, dude, look up, there's a babe right next year. Easier than wait, were you the babe? Or obviously if I head out, look at me.
It's just easier than having to socialize and being rejected in real life. I think being rejected on a screen is far less of a blow to the ego than going up to someone and them saying no, sorry, I don't want you to buy me a drink. We just don't have to socialize in the same way anymore.
Yeah, this is true. So what was your experience. You were back on Bumble. So I finally went back on Bumble, Like just say, late afternoon, one's fine Winter's day, and I wake up in the morning and I tell you what, I feel like it's Christmas. I'm like, oh, I can't wait to log on and see who's has some matches. I was so pumped. I don't know why anyway, I open up the app and it's like, good morning, Brittany, you have been kicked off Bumble. Wow, Like, what the hell?
What could I have possibly done in twelve hour? It was all the naked photos you put on there again, wasn't it? It was the nude photos. Yeah, okay, you'd think that I would get your VIP but it doesn't. No, it doesn't. Bumble's really about a respectful platform, No, Dick PI, well done, Bumble. No. Apparently too many people in that twelve hours had reported me as a fake profile, like, which is sad on multiple levels because a they're saying, no,
Britney wouldn't be on here, but I really am. Well, I mean, I'm the I got kicked off, so I couldn't even online date if I wanted to.
I actually love Bumble. So did you see that we had a fake profile? I had a past recently.
Your profile was your whole family, which is so ridiculous.
So anyone who does it, No, and he doesn't follow my Instagram. I was notified by one of my followers that I had a profile on Bumble, which is pretty strange considering I've just had a baby and I'm in.
A pretty happy relationship. And it was a person named Troy, thirty eight years old in Hey Troe, Yeah, in the gold hose with her photo of my entire family. And I didn't even I didn't even notify Bumble. I just put up on my stories as a bit of a laugh because I thought it was it was a bit of a joke, and Bumble actually got in touch with me. They got in touch firstly to ask me if I had any more information about the profile, and I didn't respond to them. I was just a bit busy doing
mum life. And then they contacted me again a few days later and said that they had found the profile with absolutely no further information from me except for a screenshot, and they removed it and if there was ever something like this in the future, just to let them know. And I just thought that was absolutely amazing, the sort of effort they go to to try and control their platform. I think it is. I think it's brilliant. Firstly, Troy, what were you thinking, No one's going to want to
go and date a whole family. Yeah, I just keep it realistic. If you're getting cat fish, I ain't. No one want to date me when I've got a five week old baby. That is too much baggage. No, but to be fair, I wasn't even going to chase it up. I was like, oh, well back to the drawing board. But my girlfriend, Renee, she said, look, I know the people at Bumble. You've got to get back on there. And I said, no, I don't worry. So she just went a message them on my behalf God lover and
they fixed it up straight away. They contacted me and they apologized and they thought, look, we just have to protect people. There are and there are fake profiles of mine. So and they rectified that. They actually put me back on there straight away. Yeah.
I just think I mean, obviously I'm not online dating at the moment, but I.
Think at the moment I didn't even think of that I'm not online dating and have no intention of doing that.
Space a new paragraph the end, I just think the Bumble and this is in no way a bumble ad. But I think the Bumble has created such a such a great community in comparison to a lot of the other online dating sites, and I think that they really do show that they care about the profiles and the people that are within their community by taking actions like that. I don't remember any of the other online dating apps taking things that seriously or being that quick to.
Action, And there's a reason I'm not on Tinder or anything like that because of that reason. I feel like Tinder now is just like a swipe for sex thing. People have sort of categorized that as that as a hookup ap and I think bumble and there's this new one hinge. I think they're taking it a little bit more seriously for people to actually want to date.
Yeah, I think that they've They've changed the culture a little bit of what online dating is. And also bumble with having bumble business and bumble friends call.
Yeah, yeah, they're really I love that. But I also think it's so sad that people can't go and make a friend anymore just at the bar, right at the beach or through a friend, like where we have to.
Go to have friends online? Do you think though, because
I think as well. I mean when we say that the online dating culture is changing about how we approach people in a bar, I think it's also really difficult to just approach a female and be like, hey, I'm new to this area, I don't have any friends, because you don't know where that person's at in their own personal journey, and when you get to a certain age, I know I don't have enough time to make new friends and to put effort into that, and so I
think it be incredibly hard for people who have relocated to make friends.
I get that having lived in so many different countries. I have actually used Tinder because I never had this friendship part. So I've been using Tinder and made friends and I have friends all around the world from Tinder. Yeah.
I remember when I was on Tinder, and this is quite a few moons ago now, and I had a girl who had on her profile she was like, I'm not a lesbian. I'm not looking for a sexual relationship at all. I'm just new to this area and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to make friends. So if you think this profile is weird, please swept swipe past, and you know, if you're also in a similar situation, I'd love to meet up for a coffee or drink.
And that's where it's obviously stemmed from. Yeah, and I think it's great the Bumble has taken the initiative and created that, yeahs acually a network. Also, I just read something that I wanted to comment on I literally read this this morning. But Natalie and Burulia is pregnant. I don't know if you've heard that. I did. She's having
a baby. Yeah, And I just wanted to comment on this because she is forty four, I believe, and she has gone and done that on her own, with IVF and a sperm donor, and she's happily said that she's open about it. She said she's not going to talk in depth about it, but there's a big sort of conversation going on about that. My immediate thought when I read that was you go, girl, good on you. You want a baby, you go get your baby. You go
get your baby. But there is this I don't know if you read it about there are some people commenting that maybe I did see the Telegraphs article which was said I am torn about Natalie Umbrella's decision to have a baby, no pun intended. I think it's pretty incredible that we live in a day and age where women can pursue their careers, or they can prioritize other aspects of their life and then the decision to have a
baby can come later in life. I do also think that it does run us risks, but so does everything in life high risk Curreton. If you want to put your career first, which I have done in many ways, I think, go for it, so long as you understand that there is the possibility that maybe you will be raising a child on your own, or maybe you'll be
making that decision for yourself. But if that's where you're at at that point in your life, the medical tools are out there for people to make those decisions, definitely, And there are so many risks that come with aging pregnancies. I think they actually call them geriatric pregnancies after age. I mean, you know, they really say almost from thirty four on now is where it's risks increase.
For those who don't know. Brick works in the medical world, so she's a little bit more knowledge on this stuff than I do, despite the fact that I've had Yeah.
So there are procedures that we actually do that I don't think a lot of people even know. When people are having problems falling pregnant, they will come in and this is like a colloquial term, but we literally flush out their tubes. We do things like that. It's almost like clearing the path for the spurs getting the plumbing ready, getting the plumbing ready. So there are so many things to do to help people for pregnant and to make
sure that you do have a healthy pregnancy. But you have to know, women now are working so much longer and prioritizing everything else before having a baby, and I'm all for that. I'm thirty two. I don't know when a baby is in my future, but there are there are things to help you achieve that now. But we also do need to be aware, as much as it sucks, we have a biological clock and so we have to accept that.
Yeah, I do think it's important if you want to have kids, to have your timeline and to know what you want to achieve in life, because it's very easy for time to get away from you and to go from thirty two to thirty seven to forty four and think I thought I would have children by now, but I've been caught up in this world of work and career.
And so long as that work and career is giving you fulfillment and happiness and that you are on the trajectory that you want, not just that you've been caught by time, which I think it does.
I mean, and that's a sad thing because sometimes you're not in control of your situation. If you haven't met the right person, you might be trying, like you know, there's not much you can do about that. Well, that's also obviously the fact for Natalie Brouley. I mean, she was married for five years and she's had a long term relationship, but it didn't it didn't happen for in that instance. And now she's been able to take that into her own hands and to be able to have
the baby that she wants. I think it's incredible. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to watch that journey. So, speaking of pregnancies, before we go and jump into the question and answer with you and your journey, I want to know what the hell is in the bachelor water because batchy babies are popping up everywhere.
Everyone's having babies. We've had Sam and Snares. They have just had their baby, Charlie Lane Wood.
I love that name, by the way. It's beautiful, isn't it.
I actually had Charlie as one of my girl's names and Matt vetoed it.
I keep saying, Matt Charlie.
No, I guess it wouldn't have happened, but Matt, Matt Peter had boast of my girl names, Marley May was the only one that kind of stuck.
Yeah.
And then Lisa Hyde, who was in Batch and Paradise as well the first season about you in Paradise. She has had her little baby, which is my Annie Kalina.
Oh, lovely name, long name. Yes.
Yeah, so another little girl. Yeah, and hers is hyphenated too. I'm all down for a hyphenad name.
Go the heih so for it. Three babies in the space of a month is pretty amazing, and all girls. Yeah, it's just a testament to say that that there is something in the bachelortt that does work. Yeah, and I want to know where I find it. Thanks. No, look so I do. I don't think I've even said it on air yet. But Laura, you made a little, tiny, beautiful human that looks ridiculously like you, So congratulations. I did not make her on my own. Thank you very much,
Matthew Johnson for your contribution to this. No, but she To be fair, I don't know if anyone has seen the little pictures. You have kept it quite quiet. You've released a few little pictures on your stories. You put pictures and things like that, but she looks so much like you. We've been pretty open with like sharing our photos and stuff of Marley. I guess I think that we've been quite about is more around the birth and your story. Yeah, and not for any big reason others.
And it kind of took me a while to just get over the birth myself and understand what that is and deal with my own feelings about it and enjoy Marley for her and not be caught up in all that She's She's amazing, She's so beautiful. Marlie May Rose, Marley May Rose. When did that name come? Was the Rose any? Please say it wasn't anything to do with about Please tell me Rose is not a nod to The Bachelor unfortunately, sorry, Osha. Rose is Matt's grandma's name, So
May is my grandma's name. Rose is Matt's. Marley is also not from Marley and Me the Dog movie, which everyone keeps asking, I just love the name Marley and Matt.
I mean, Matt got Johnson and so I kind of put my foot down early on and I was like, no, you get the last name, so I get to pick the first name.
You're also pushing out of your vagina, so that gives you some leaping.
I did, Yeah, I had some leverage there, so I chose Marley, but Matt was on board. He loved it as well, and now I think we both just adore her name.
She's oh gorgeous.
It's such a crazy, wonderful experience having a newborn baby.
Bless you. Although I haven't slept so I might just be high on Seriously. Yeah, I do get a message saying sorry, Hannah, I'm running five minutes late because Miley's been screaming for six hours straight.
Oh yeah, yeah, that's There's been a couple of nights been difficult, but I think that's just the newborn. It's just newborn, just taking it one day at a time.
All right, Well, let's go back to the start, because you actually have been really quiet on the birth story, which I like. I like that you guys took some time to keep a private and a little bit something that was special to you for a while. But I think you're at the point now where you're happy to share it. If you are, I'm noting to extract some things from you. Yes, come at me, Come at me, bray, come at you. Firstly, before we get right right into it. All I want to know is from one to ten,
with ten being I want to die right now. How painful was the birth? Oh? Do you know what?
I actually hate saying this because there's going to be women who are listening to this who are about to have their own babies, and that's just such a shitty thing to do to a new mum.
Well, so that's your warning. If you're listening now and you're having a baby. Tap out. No, yeah, yes, stop listening. Do you know what? They don't call it labor for no reason. It is definitely very painful, although everyone has a very different pain threshold, and I think because I was actually induced, I didn't go into a spontaneous labor, and I think if you go into spontaneous labor, it's a very different labor story than what I experienced. So I'm gonna say it was right at the brink of
my pain threshold. Like I wanted to originally do a natural birth, that was my great intention, but I ended up having to opt for an epidural just because I couldn't manage my pain expectations. However, like everyone says, once that baby's out, it's actually amazing how euphoric you feel. The pain just goes away, all of it instantly, instantly. See, I just kin'd even begin to imagine. It's really incredible.
Just kind of like, get our backstory on what happened so well, you were over Yeah, I was two weeks overdue with Marley, and they really only let you go to two weeks now because the issue with going over any more than that is your placenta has a use by date basically, like think of it like a carton of milk. It has an expiration on it, and if that expiration happens, there's an increased risk of still birth. So it can be really really detrimental to go any
further than two weeks. So we pushed it right to the limits, and then we were booked in to be induced. And it's kind of a weird experience. I think if you're booked in for a C section or you're booked in for an induction because you don't have this oh my waters broke, Oh I'm in labor, like, let's get to the hospital, which kind of seems a bit romantic.
As part of the story, we were very much like, okay, I'm you know, I know, that I'm going to go to the doctors at nine am or seven am tomorrow morning. I've got my bag packed. It's a weird thing that you like planned it, Yeah, you know what's happening, And.
Totally it was really methodical. And so we got to the hospital. I mean we were running late, because Matt can't be on time for anything, even.
Though you were running two weeks later already, I was two weeks late, and yet I was still waiting in the car for Matt to get his bag. Get your shit together, I know. I love the man.
We got to the hospital and the way that it works when you're being induced is they they actually manually break your waters with a plastic hook. So I was hooked up to a drip given some synthetic oxytocin, which is what brings.
On the labor. Sounds brilliant, yeah, And then they broke my waters with a plastic hook, and so I waited in the hospital to go into labor. And the thing with being induced is that and this I didn't actually know this until the time. Some women still have normal
contractions where they're contractions. You'll have one contraction that might last a minute, and then you have several minutes between the contraction, which allows you to kind of compose yourself and to breathe and get back on top of the pain and get ready for the next contraction. I didn't have that, unfortunately. I just had one never ending contraction, So I couldn't get on top of the pain at all. How long? Just for just over an hour?
Yeah, Like it just just wasn't stopping, And so it was really really difficult to manage the pain and manage my expectations around how I was going to do six hours or eight hours or twenty four hours. I didn't know how long I was going to be in labor for. So I ended up opting to have an epidural. Holy shit, epi durols are so great. They are great. It was
like night and day. So we went from having me over the side of the bed being sick, unable to speak, to sitting up and having a full blown conversation with everyone that was in the room and laughed for making jokes.
And oh, if you need to ender, I couldn't. Yeah, sorry, my phone's just ringing now. It's probably Matt telling Yeah, you need to get home when your breast feed, when you've got a baby. You need to have your phone already, have your phone on silence. No, I just asked Matt quickly to breastfeeder so himself. I mean, he's been a pretty good hands on dad so fast, so I'm sure he'd give it a crack anyway. So yeah, look, it was.
It was not what I expected my labor to be, and having an epidural definitely made it far more manageable. That was for sure. Well, I think you hear that a lot. I have a lot of friends actually that have these big expectations and his birth plan on what's going to happen, how it's going to go down, and it just doesn't work like that. I'm actually so glad that I didn't have a birth plan and I didn't. I didn't go to any birthing classes. I didn't go
to any breastfeeding class. Was what was the prep, like Patti prep for a baby? Do you actually go to these classes and do the bouncing on the ball thing and like Matt pretends to pull football out of you, I don't know. I think that people do, and you know what, but you didn't do anything.
No, I didn't do any of them. And like props to people who do, because I do think that it would make you more mentally prepared. But I guess I really didn't want to have any expectation around the birth, and I didn't want to get hung up on how I wanted it to be, which, in my instance, I'm really glad that I didn't do that purely because it's I didn't have the birth that I would have wanted.
If I was to sit down and say, you know, this is my ideal type of birth, being induced, wasn't it, Well, yeah, and then you run the risk of having this your expectations on your expectations are met, so you have this intense disappointment, and you don't want that to translate when you have the baby into these like sort of ill feelings of I failed or I didn't do it, because I think people feel like they failed when they don't
give a natural birth. But God, if you can just get that baby out safely in any way, I don't think it matters. It's okay for some people to have a birth plan, and it's totally okay to have strong feelings about how you want your birth to go because it's such an important and pivotal experience. That's only going to happen, you know, one, two, maybe three or four times if you've got a lot of kids in your life.
So you know, it depends on your personality types. Some people do need to feel like they have more control over situation. I'm not that person.
I'm actually I do better without trying to control things and just kind of going with the flow a little bit. So for me it worked. Not going to any birth classes. We had amazing midwives at the hospital who talked me through everything.
Anyway. But as much as being induced wasn't the experience that I wanted, it was still an incredible birth. And it was you know that moment where where your baby comes out and they put her on your chest. I couldn't imagine. I couldn't have imagined it either. It's just the most incredible experience. And so was she correct me if I'm wrong, But I feel like she was backwards, upside down inside out. She wasn't sitting right, was she to come out? Yeah? No she wasn't.
She wasn't breach, but she was posterious, so she was upside down basically, So what it.
Means the bottom first? No, no, no other way. So basically she was facing the right way, like she was down, but it means usually their back would be facing your stomach, so that's a much more comfortable way to give birth. But when they are posterior, it means that their spine is against your spine and they're trying to come out with the biggest part of their head first. So she got stuck and they couldn't, and the middle life were
actually being so supportive. I'd been pushing for god, what feels like my entire life, and they're like, you're doing so good. She's coming down. Get it out. Yeah, she's coming down. She's coming down. And I was like, it doesn't feel like she's moving, and they're like, no, no, you're doing so good. She's definitely coming down. She'd been stuck for forty five minutes, so she was aime. She wasn't moving anywhere, poor thing. So yeah, she ended up.
I ended up having to have an episiotomy and she was suctioned out, which.
Sounds which sounds very romantic. Yeah, look, it's not. What's that old horrible saying, Oh, it's like watching my favorite pub burned down. Every time that's saying oh, every time I am I hearing men say that, I just want to slap them. It's yeah, look it's there's nothing romantic about it. But everything goes back, ladies. Everything It's amazing, does it?
Yes?
So normal against back in. Yes, we're built for this shit. It's great. Honestly, I am absolutely amazed at what the body can do. Well, you know what is amazing and it's crazy to think about. But back in the day, it's crazy to think that you guys might not have survived and so many mothers and babies if that baby wasn't in perfect position and totally people just didn't survive their pregnancies, which is so we should be so grateful for modern medicine and everything that allows us to have
a healthy birth right now. Well, childbirth used to be the biggest killer of women. That was it.
It was such risky business having a baby because if anything went wrong, they didn't have the tools.
Hemorrhage, bleed out, baby couldn't get out. If you're having a baby, don't even listen to that. That's awful. Now, I know I took back hundreds of years ago, okay, but now, honestly, they'll send you home four hours afterwards if you have a normal vaginal delivery and there's no complications. Four hours after giving birth you can leave the hospital. My girlfriend had a water berth up in bayn Bay in the bath and literally it was I've seen the
photos and it was beautiful. Popped it out, got dressed, ChIL, dried her hair and walked out the door. Went home. It's amazing. I was like, you're at not we stayed.
So I had Maley at four fifty I think I am not a pmpmm in the afternoon and the labor was only about six six hours, so it was pretty quick birth really. So I had at four fifty pm and I was out of hospital by eleven am the next day. So I spent one night, which is amazing. Yeah, but I didn't even want to spend that. The only reason why I had to spend that was because of having some stitches. But I was happy to go home
and I wanted to be in my own space. I think that there's something really nice about being if you have the help.
I was really lucky. I had Matt's mum helping me, that's right. So we had that at home. It's quieter, you're not being woken up by other people's babies. It's really different to get sleep in the ward. So I felt better being in my own space, whereas I think some people feel much better knowing that they've got help
close by. Yeah, I've heard some people say that, you know, they were in for quite a few days and they didn't really want to go home because they were scared to be on their own and they didn't know what to do.
Well, it's crazy. You just you have this baby. You have no tools as to how to take care of it. Like, sure, read the books, read all the books. What is that even?
You know that eats? You're real, Like that is not real, any of it?
You know, you get home, you have this whole human that you have to take care of and you have to breastfeed it and make sure that it's getting enough nutrient. Yeah, and babies lose weight after they've just been born. Marley actually lost more than ten percent of her birth weight, which is not They're supposed to lose less than that. They lose up to ten percent. If they lose more than that, then it could be maybe a problem with your milk flow or they're not they're just not getting
enough nutrients. Mary had lost more than ten percent and just gave me this such a feeling of I just felt so defeated and I felt so useless and like I wasn't doing good enough job, and I was so fearful that what I was doing was wrong. But you're just learning as you go. You're just figuring it out in our life, isn't it totally? And now like at the six week or five week and a bit mark, I feel so much more confident and I'm like.
Okay, over your shoulder and off, yeah, And I.
Think it takes it takes a while to get that confidence back and be able to leave the house and be like no, no, no, I got this, Yeah, Mama, God, and you.
So have this. So in your birth obviously Matt was in there. Who do you have anyone else in there? Like? Was your family in there at all?
I had my sister in there with me, and I also had Matt's mum in there with me as well, so I had the three of them, which was so nice. I asked my own mum if she wanted to come in, and she sort of said it wasn't really her cup of tea.
Oh really, But you know what, it's not for everyone. It's not for everyone. Matt's one of five, and his mum is such a maternal, wonderful woman, and she just loves everything to do with babies, and so for me, I was I was really happy having her in there. So were they like really heads down in the action there? Were they watching it happen or did they just stay up sort of next to your head? I always wonder did I get down there in between the legs and
see it all happening? Oh? Look, I mean it's all on show. If you want to go down there and have a look.
Matt was pretty care No, not at all, Like and by the time you get to that point in labor, you do not care.
You know. The whole time I was thinking, God, I don't want to pool in front of everyone. But then by the time I actually everyone poos, don't they That's what I heard. I didn't, so that was okay. But great every there you go to.
The world, you are welcome. I guess, like prior to I was so concerned about that. I was like, oh God, how embarrassing. Matt's mum's gonna see this. You know what cares when you get in there, you don't care about anything. Honestly, they could have been entire football team in there, and I wouldn't I wouldn't have given a crap at all.
Yeah, literally, given a crap. Literally there was no craps to give. You were so funny there. So how was Matt in there? Is he like a fainter feels queasy or was he really supportive and fine loved it or no? He was amazing.
I mean he stayed at the top end the whole time, but he was really really supportive. There was one point during the label where I.
Had like music playing, not any music track that I picked or anything, but there was just ambient music paying the background, and I was having a contraction and Matt was holding my hand and singing like along to this edseurance and I was like, shot the fuck up, shut up. But I wasn't so much pain. I couldn't tell him to shut up. You just want complete silence. And it was so distracting having him being like he's having a ground.
Oh oh god, I could have killed him. But anyway, that was the only thing. And he realized straight away, like you just don't.
Must be hard for them, not knowing well, like they can't help you, they can't help and it's such a personal and like animalistic process where on doesn't matter who's in the room. I didn't think they did anyway. And you see, it's funny growing up and in all the movies you see birth as you know, a woman laying on her back, legs up in the stirrups gently being like, ah, pushing a baby out. But realistically, how did Marley come out?
We like lunging, squatting on all four O my position? Yeah, like literally the position, because it's not what people think it's like usually. I think squatting is the most That's what I've read out they say, they say, actually try and get gravity to help, right, Yeah, but I because she was stark and I had to have a pisiotomy, I was in stirrups, so I probably looked very much like your tradition grow up expectations.
Yeah, I think I looked like a movie scene.
Was the wind blowing in your hair like a car crash? No? It was. Yeah, So I think it like if I was to think of what a traditional birthing video or video sorry movie look like, it was like that. Okay, but yeah, god, it's weird to think back on it now, even honestly, you just forget your brain just does this amazing thing. Where as soon as it's over, it's like and they just erased that part of it. So what was the hardest part of the whole if you had to say, of being pregnant or the birth, what did
you find hardest out of the whole thing? Was it just literally getting her out? No, I think the hardest part was probably a little bit after. I think week number two was probably my hardest period. And you know, you have this euphoria after having the baby, and after having Molly it was so amazing, and then the first little bit of time you get so much help from family and friends and stuff. And at about the two week markets when that help kind of dips off a
little bit, life goes back to normal. Yeah, and it's still I think that you're very, very uncomfortable afterwards. I was extremely uncomfortable afterwards, and so just doing day to day stuff was really difficult around the house, and then also navigating having no sleep that sleep debt catches up on you and not being able to sort of like have you know. I just felt like such a shell of a person at the two week mark because I was still in a lot of discomfort and I was
so shattered tired. So I think that that was probably my biggest hurdle. And you know, unfortunately, so many women suffer from postinatal depression, and I guess that's probably when it starts, is when all the help goes and they realize that they're on their own, and I feel like they probably get overwhelmed. But you've been Yeah, how have you been with that? I think as well with I mean, I don't have postonatal depression, so I think it's difficult
to comment on something that I haven't experienced. But I think that there's also a disconnect with people who suffer from postnatal depression. You know, you get told that as soon as you have this baby, there's going to be a flood of love and you're just going to instantly feel so in love with your child, and that doesn't happen for everyone. Sometimes that flood of love comes a little bit later. And I actually know that for some men that's the case is well, and people don't really
talk about like postnatal depression for men. A few good friends of mine actually spoke to me about it from their perspective, dads saying, you know they didn't have that flood of love to start with, and that it came it was almost like they fell in love with their child. Well, I guess they don't have They don't grow it for nine months and form the same bond. They're sort of just waiting for nine months for it to come out
and then they then it starts. Whereas you as a woman have grown it and that connection, well you're supposed to or ideally you feel that connection, but you know, I think that some people it's they don't straight away and then that does grow later on, which is also normal and fine if that happened, absolutely, And there's so much help out there now that we understand what that is and we have a name for it, and we have it's a hormonal imbalance. We have the tools to
treat people who have that. Yeah, and I think women feel like their failures and they feel like something's wrong with them, but it's not. And it's so easy now to go and seek hell or just speak to a friend, or they can even think that maybe they've made the wrong decision. I mean, it's such a life changing event. Every single part of your identity as a woman changes once you have a baby, and I think that that has been difficult for even me to get my head around.
And I don't suffer from postnatal depression knowing that I'm not able every single part of my day, I have to think what am I going to do for Marley?
How is Maley going to fit into my day? Whereas Matt can still get up, he can still go to the gym, he can still go to all work meeting, he still has so much autonomy from Marley because she's not dependent on his every move and his everything, whereas I and every time she cries or every time that there's something that's wrong with her, it's my instinctive nature to be like, issue, Okay, go and get my baby. So it really just changes for a woman much more
rapidly than it does for the father. I think well, in our episode one, actually we touched on the fact that you didn't really or you weren't going to get maternity leavers such that you had to go back and run your business, and you had these really high expectations of how you were going to do that, and how now that you've done it, it's we're six weeks yere. How have you been finding that? Have you gone back to work as such, I'm an idiot. That's what I had to say about that.
I am an idiot, a big fool. I have started back at work, like I have started doing work. I'm not going into the office per se. It's really really difficult because I've realized that my my schedule is not the same as Marley's schedule, and newborn babies need to have sort of four hour blocks of sleep or three hour blocks of sleep sounds their own environment, though they can't. You can't just or I can't with Marley anyway, maybe
every baby's different. I can't just strap her on me and then go to work and chuck her in the car and then chuck her in the prem and like move her around because she gets unsettled, and then her sleep debt racks up. And so I get to eight pm at night, and that's when I've called you, and she's been sc and she's just ropable because she's not had the sleep that she needs. And she's such a newborn baby that she doesn't have the mental capacity to understand, oh,
i'm tired, go to sleep. She's just so overtired that she'll cry and cry and cry untill eleven pm, so.
And there's nothing. You can do nothing. She doesn't have colleague, there's nothing wrong, she's fed, her nappy's changed. But it's just this sleep debt that and this routine that I'm trying to get my head around. And so as much as I want to get back into doing work and as much as when you run your own business, it's really important to kind of have that to go back to. It's been so much harder than what I thought it
was going to be to juggle those two things. And work is one hundred percent the part that's going to suffer and is suffering now. It comes down to Matt playing a bigger role in like taking her away for those three hour blocks in order to give me time to do the work that I need to do well. Even like now we're recording this, it's eight thirty in the morning, but you know, you fed Marley and then he's got her for a few hours and then you
go straight back total and this. That's nice that you have that help.
And I don't think a lot of women do. I think a lot of women you know that husbands have to go or partners have to go, or have to go back to work, and there's one person whose life changes so dramatically and so quickly, while the other person's life, as much as it does change, they still have the ability to tap into their friendship groups and get some me time outside of just being a mum or a dad. And I guess that that's the biggest thing that I'm sort of adjusting to now, is I am a mom
twenty four to seven. And I know you know that when you're pregnant, but you don't know until you know.
You don't know until you know, and until you're experiencing it, it's really really different and it's a massive identity shift. Yeah, Well, there was something else I wanted to talk about that I actually have listened to you talk about in the past, and I was really intrigued by it and I took my hat off to you for being open about it. But you actually suffered a miscarriage before this pregnancy, and I like that you spoke about that so that women
don't know a that they're on their own. Women feel like they're on their own in that, but it is, it happens. But did that impact this pregnancy? Did that like put the fear into you or change the way you led your life because you were trying to protect
this baby. Yeah, massively, So I guess starts with Matt and I were pretty open about talking about our miscarriage before Maley, not as a well as me or anything like that, just because we didn't want to announce this pregnancy and for everyone to think, oh, it's so easy
for them. So someone else who's going through a similar situation that we had been through and that i'd been through to think, everyone else is getting pregnant and I've just had a miscarriage, and you know, it only exacerbates other people's pain if you don't talk about such issues. So in my mind, I was like, miscarriage is so common, yet we don't talk about it, and people feel so
isolated in their sufferings. So I think it's really important because it's such an integral part of my pregnancy story that we had a miscarriage prior, so that's why I felt it was important to talk about it. It definitely
changed my ability to enjoy this pregnancy with Mali. I think I spent a lot of time fearful that I was going to have a miscarriage, and anytime that there was something that seemed like a speck of blood or a pain or something yeah, or totally anytime that there was something that seemed like it could be going wrong, my first thought was it's happening again, and it made it really difficult to enjoy what an incredible experience being
pregnant is. It wasn't until I probably got to about the six or seven month market I was like, oh, no, this is happening, like this is we are good, and that I really got into the mojo of loving being pregnant. So it relaxed. You did relax eventually, eventually till day dot. No. So even up until day dot, I think I did think that it was a possibility, and you always have this underlying fear, But that fear was not irrational. It
didn't take hold of me. It was just a It was just a thought that I had from time to time, the same as I think the thought what if my child has a disability or what if my child isn't healthy. It just crosses your mind.
You do think about these things, but you also think, surely it's not going to happen to me. So I still did think about it, and I think had I not had a miscarriage, it wouldn't have probably registered on my radar at all, and I wouldn't have felt so reserved in my happiness.
So how far were you when you miscarried the first time? We were within the first timester So we were ten weeks, right, it's quite a long way along. Yeah, it was like you're at the time where you're telling family.
Yeah, nine nine, ten weeks. It was, I mean, and it was just something that I didn't think would happen to me, and it was something that I didn't think happened very often. So I assumed there was something wrong with me.
I was going to say, for all the women listening that I maybe have had this happen before. Did you feel like you had failed? Because you most certainly haven't. But I can only imagine that women go through this feeling of why couldn't I keep this viable?
Or is it something I did or I think it was? Is there something that I've done wrong? Or is there something wrong with me? With the two thoughts that I had. But then the more that I looked into it and the more that I researched it, the more I understood. You know, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. And I realized how common it is, which is huge. It's just huge, and we should be speaking about it more. So I'm really glad that you are opening up about that,
so thank you. No, it's you're so welcare but you know what, like that was part of our journey and now we have an incredibly beautiful, amazing baby girl, and it just blows my mind, absolutely blows my mind.
And just so there's a little bit of like more hope for people that have maybe had a miscarriage. How long after did you feel pregnant again with that journey? Hard or No.
We were pretty lucky and actually happened for us pretty quickly, Like within within two months of losing our first pregnancy, we were having another baby, And so it came as a surprise because I didn't I had no idea that I was pregnant then and probably didn't think that it would happen that quickly. So we were really lucky in that aspect.
Yeah. And I saw actually a funny story on your Instagram the other day that you did like a question and the answers, and someone someone wrote in and said, how do you keep the romance alive? Oh my god? Yeah, Bo nappy changing in Yeah, sometimes we changed nappies together, had and Matt and I keep the romance alive with a six week old baby. Do you know what I'm going to say that that question probably came from someone
who doesn't have a baby or hasn't had kids. The romance is not in the na changing, Or maybe it's from someone who's about to have a baby and they genuinely answering that question. Honestly, it changes your relation ship massively.
At the moment, everything's about Marley. Everything is about keeping this baby happy and healthy, and they require so much time and energy and love that you kind of feel a little bit depleted at the end of the day that you don't have a lot of Like the last thing you want to do is getting frisky in between the sheets. Well you can't. You haven't showered and you haven't slept.
You can't even get frisky. You've got to wait for six weeks anyway. But more so, just MAT's.
Counting down, Yeah, three days left.
You just even just to feel romantic and feel you have any of that left to give to your partner. I mean there's been days where I'm so tired that I just don't have the energy to give the relationship the attention that it needs. However, I've just found a whole new level of love for Matt. It's incredible watching Oh, it's incredible watching him with Marley and watching him be a dad and just feeling your heart literally want to explode because someone you love more than anything, you've created
a whole new person with. It's an amazing, amazing experience. But romance in like a sexual like, oh, I want to be all touchy feeling sometimes I do not come near me.
You did keep it away, but I know that's still far too raw.
But I know that that's also just an intermittent thing, and that's part of the process of having a newborn baby and then getting back into our groove and our mojo and our routines. You know, I can't wait for that, but I'm more so's there's no pressure on.
Yeah, of course, I mean you're still healing. Yeah, like in all ways, you know, in many many ways, in many ways, but it really does take your relationship from it just takes it to the next level. You just need to into it. We'll pass and be like, all right, just do a quick buck ground today we're working at backup and look, I the question on everyone's lips, well just mine. Actually, has Matt tried your breast milk? Oh my god? Do you know what literally pun intended? Again?
He hasn't yet, but he keeps saying he's going to, So maybe ask me that again in a couple of weeks time.
I'm surprised. I just thought he'd be a curious cat and just get straight in there. I'm actually surprised he.
Hasn't yet either, because he when I was pregnant, he was like, I'm one hundred percent going to try this.
Also seen as though he's, you know, wanting to get the friskiness back. I thought he'd like two birds with one stone, like get frisky, try the breast. Do you know what? There's so no way. Your boobs just become like a little bait, like they're not his, they're not mine anymore. They are they are Maley May's boobs. Nobody else owns these. They've got a neon sign across them, which are Malory Mays. So have you tried your breast milk?
I'm just curious because I wonder if it's like this sweet little arm and were meant to be sweet do you want to put in your coffee? Actually I usually add Ronny, just add some of Laura's breast milk. I can express you some and you can try it, Brittanie if you want. Haven't are you not at all curre? I haven't tried it, do you know what? I know that I probably will as well. There hasn't been a time where I'm like, today's the day that I'm going to drink my breast milk image of you just like
a cow. Oh my god, this has taken a terrible turn. I'm so sorry too. Ever's listening this is too much? I thought that was actually too much. I think I will give it a try, and when I do, I will report back. Yeah, okay, Well, I feel like we have covered a lot.
We totally have, and I feel like we've probably covered too much in some aspects actually, but maybe to finish off, we do finish off these episodes with our suck and our sweet for the week, right. Have you thought about this?
I haven't even thought about it. I could probably on the spot. My suck was I had to do some some graveyard night shifts this week. Oh yeah, you've been working every night in the hospital work so much. Yeah, I think maybe people don't realize that. But then also I don't get to go home and sleep in the day always because it comes here and does podcasts the first thing in the morning. I do feel love for you guys. Oh my god, don't bitch about not sleeping
to me. I know what. That's it. I can't complain because you lat to you for the rest of your life. So no, that was it. I just had a bit of a tough week with no sleep, but the four coffees a day are helping. But my sweet what could my sweep be? Oh? Actually I had a I'm not going to mention anything going to depth, but I did have a really good DM slide in this week. But
I'm not going into that. Wait from a boy. Yeah, most of your slideings, you know, the only people I get excited about was if a cute boy sliding into my dam or like an RSPCA dog, they're the two things they're getting going dog sliding into your dms. He Usually you get some interesting characters that slide into DM's but I had one that was quite surprising and it definitely put this well. If he's listening, you made her week. You are the sweet. So that's very very lovely. But
what was yours? What's your suck and sweet? My suck and sweet for the week?
Okay, my suck is that I had a you know, I did realize that I can't just take Maley with me everywhere and that she needs to have these blocks of sleep. So I did have two nights this week that were really really insane with screaming, crying, and I didn't know what to do or how to handle it. It was a real learning curve for being a new mum. My sweet, is that Marley is smiling this week?
Is she sure she's not just farting? Oh my god, I'm one of those mums. Like it's a smile of baite that's gassed. Please, she coughs and farts at the same time. It's so cute. She could do anything.
She's definitely smiling, and it just melts me every time. So like waking up in the middle of the night to do a feed or to just do anything. When she looks up and smiles at me, I'm dead. It just kills my heart so wonderful.
Yeah, that is a great little's and you're gonna have every week. You know, your Sweet's gonna be Marley. I know, I know. Sorry, guys, if you wanted to hear about anything else, I'm a new mum now and that's all I talk about. So mum life. Well, I'm super excited that The Bachelor starts this week, so I can't wait to watch that, and I might put my two cents in. I'm so so excited, We're all over it. There were some actually in the promo there were like fighter jet planes.
I don't know if you saw mine, but I played golf and then they're in a fighter jet. I was like, oh, this is not right. Well, I mean, if the if the Daily Mail articles from last season anything to go by, I think Bachelor probably exhausted their their budget budget on money badger and so had no money left the date. Maybe maybe that's not the case of season, but yeah, you guys had crappy dates. Yeah, no, we had we had fun dates and you know what, you could do
anything with Nativity dates. Yeah, if you could do anything with him and have fun and it was brill but I would love to go and a fighter jet just saying they weren't your big, flashy dates. But it seems like they've really ramped up too. Like I said, the traditional bachelor's story. Boy, Yeah, I am freaking excited. We're here for it. So come back and join us next week as we recap the batch and probably talk a lot more about nothing. Oh stop, who's talking about nothing?
We talk about live, loving, all the things in between. Kids. Yeah, hopefully I have some more dating stories with Thanks for joining us, guys, see you soon.