Hi, guys, and welcome back for another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, I've missed you this week.
You've been busy. I haven't seen you. I know. It's the longest time we've ever gone. Oh my gosh, how did you coat you? Poor me?
It was a tough week. No, I've had two copies this morning. I'm feeling jacked. Oh I'm only one d So this is a Sunday morning, guys. On Valentine's Day weekend?
What did you do for V Day? Nothing? Guys.
We missed our ask Uncut episode this week, and that is because there's been a few things going down. But one of them was that my grandfather was really unwell and I've been done in Wollongong with him. Our family has been rallied around him. But you know what, he's actually come a bit better over the last couple of days. So that was well, I feel like we're getting into our suckond sweet already. That was definitely the massive low light. But the fact that he's doing a little bit better
at the moment is great. But he's also a huge part of your life, right Yeah, massive, like he was my father figure growing up. So it's been Yeah, it's been a really, really tough couple of days. So I spent most of Valentine's Day with him down at the hospital, and then I spent the evening with Matt and we had a no phone, no TV takeaway dinner, sitting on the couch, just having a chat.
I love that. I love screen ban and.
It was enforced by him. We sat down with our pizza and I was like, what are we going to watch tonight? Matt was like, let's just talk about our.
Feelings and I was like, you are so weird and I like it.
You were actually messaging me before your screen band, so otherwise you were like doing it under the pillow so he couldn't see because you told me about your pepperin pizza. Oh yeah, no, no, I was still on my screen during screen band. Whenever he left the room, I was like, Brittany helped me. I have to talk to my partner. Dear God, I don't know what to talk to him about. Give me some content.
Oh that actually sounds nice because you two probably actually.
Don't stop often and just sit there and talk like you guys have lives at a million miles an hour all the time.
So it's nice just to sit down and talk.
It is nice to sit down and talk and be like, hey, that's right, we're engaged.
How have you been dad? How is your Valentine's Day?
My v day actually escalated super quickly. It was supposed to be just like low key. I had a Gallantine's Day with my girlfriends. There were five of us, and two of them are married. Three of us were not. So the two that are married sacrifice their love day because they were like stuff that I want to come out with the girls so overrated. I feel like, if you're in a long term relationship, you can just celebrate your love on a totally different day when every freaking
restaurant in Sydney is not booked out. So I'm all for being like, seebabe, stay home with the kids. I'm going out with the girls for sure. And we'll get to that in a second about what we actually think about Valentine's Day. But we went to dinner at Toddy's because.
We are obsessed with Toddy.
We went to dinner at Toddy's. We just started drinking. The champagne was flowing. Before I knew it.
I was outside the Royal and I met a guy there.
Of course he did, yeah, he Oh my god, I haven't shown you the video yet. A video surfaced of he and I doing the macarina out the front of the Royal and I don't even remember it, but my girlfriend apparently filmed it. He asked for my number. I got mad at him because he didn't remember my name. I said, I'll give you my number if you remember my name, and he's like, shit, I forgot. Why do people always forget my name? Is it not memorable?
Member, baby?
It's because you keep meeting guys who are blind drunk at the pub.
No, I'm that was why they don't remember your name.
Anyway, I gave him my number, but I put it in as the girl that you can't remember her name.
I forgot.
I even did this fast forward to the next day and I get a message from him. So yesterday I get a message from him being like, hey, I'm the guy that forgot your name, and we've been chatting NonStop ever since. He wants to take me out. So that was a success. So your Galvalentine's Day, you ditched the girls and got a guy's number. I didn't ditch. I spoke to him for only for two minutes. We run into each other, we did the macarina, we swapped numbers quickly,
and then I was out, You're wild, You're wild. I was sitting on the couch eating pepperoni pizza, watching my fiance talk connecting.
Yeah, you connected. I connected with the defil Oh my god. You know what we actually talked about. We actually talked about podcast topics. So yeah, it was full of romance.
I do Look, I had a really great night, But I think Valentine's Day as a day is overrated. I think, go and show your love on a day that's not expected, surprising with a gift.
I think, do that in another day.
This is my life mantras surprise and delight people. Valentine's Day is completely commercialized. We all know that it is nice when your partner gives you something on Valentine's Day because you're like, ah, you didn't not do it, and that's embarrassing. I have to tell my friends that my boyfriends are But at the same time, I don't expect anything, like I don't need flowers, I don't need a card,
I don't need any anything on Valentine's Day. I feel like, for me when I'm saying I'm like single Brittany, it's like, oh my god, Valentine's Day. So ever rated relationship, Brittany would be like, bitch, it's.
Give me how my presences, my chocolate.
So I think I.
Will cut you with these roses if you don't get them for me. So I think it's very dependent. But as a general rule, yeah, but there were so many single people out on Valentine's Day it was nuts. I mean, I think I put this on the I did put this on the Instagram. I don't think I put it on the Instagram. Why is there a Valentine's Day but there's no like single Lady's Day?
Yeah, I need that.
Obviously, there's a talk like a pirate Day, but we don't have a single Lady's Day.
Do we have a single Lady's Day?
You know what?
There probably is? Did you research that? Did you google it? Why would I google that? I'm not a single lady for me? For my benefit?
Other than that, I guess I've been getting a lot of dms on an update on you know who?
So guys.
One of the biggest questions we get asked every week on our Instagram is what the fuck happened to meet Raphul? What I want to know also because I don't really know what happened to meet Raffle. One day he was here or MEETI Raffling and the next day gone. I wish there's so much more to the story, and I just can't. I just don't want to, like flood you guys meat Raffle didn't turn out to be the prime cut.
Oh, but it that way.
That was a good analogy. I like that, Yeah, was he was? He like beef cheeks, although beef checks are pretty good if you slow cook them. You know the one that you end up going to the budge and you're like, do you have anything left over for the dog? You have some chuck steak or minute steak that I can feed to Buster.
I thank you. That would be perfect.
The long story is he did not treat me very well at the end. He wasn't being very respectful. I'm not going to go into detail, but he wasn't the person you would want your daughter to be with, right, And I think that says like I would not want my daughter to be with spoken to like he spoke to me or treated the way. Well, you're being so vague. I need more details. Oh I don't want he's killing me.
He wasn't. He was not nice to king. So who called? Who called it?
So? Okay the reason I called it, and I was like, look, we're in different places, we want different things. I really like who you are as a person. Because he hadn't gone that downhill yet. Maybe we can still be friends. But I just want you to know, like, this was nice, but it's not going anywhere. You did the soft break, although you did try and do a hard break, and then you went to the movies with him, so maybe
he was getting some mixed signals from you. Okay, I did the break, I did the herdbreak, and then he didn't understand that. He messaged me and he's like, what are you doing? I was going to the movies by myself. We discussed this also, PS, guys, going to the movies by yourself is fine. I was like, I'm going to movies by myself. He's like, well, one a night is come. I'm like, you know what, if you want to meet me there, meet me there, that's cool. So he just
didn't really he was really trying. But I was always very clear that like it wasn't going where he wanted it to. Went to the movies, and I think he thought that that was like, you know, an opening and gain gonna get married. So then I had to do the second cut where I messaged him again and it was so I mean, I'll read it to you.
I sort of told you did it on Valentine's Day week, no wonder.
He was depressed and he did not handle it well like he's He just became different person. He was like aggressive, he was rude, the things he was saying to me. I actually said to him, I was like, I don't know who you are right now as who deals well with rejection. Then I think that's what it is. I think his ego took a hit. I don't think he actually probably likes me that much. It was more ego
he couldn't get what he wanted. Isn't it funny how some people take it as such a person like and of course it's personal, like no one wants to be rejected, but they take it as such a personal attack, And I think it's a massive reflection on who that person is and their personality.
If they they don't deal with that well, and putting.
That back on you and being angry and aggressive because someone doesn't want to date you is never gonna get you anywhere in the first place anyway.
But also, I have been shut down and let down so many times.
I have been in a position where I've wanted to date someone and they said, oh, I just don't think it's going anywhere. And I didn't go full psycho. I was like, oh cool, okay, by like nice, No, you're not my penguin. Dude, You're not my penguin.
Like that's anyway.
Guys, I'm really sorry that didn't work out for you, because I know you're all rooting for me. But onwards and upwards, I'm actually going to take a break from dating. No no, no, no, no, no no no no. So pretty said to me, I'm taking a break from dating. She goes, I've deleted all of my dating app I did, I'm done, and then said, but I re downloaded them two days later and I'm back on.
But I needed that cleanse for.
Forty eight hours, Like she's just had some wakening. Guys, any of you know that are on dating apps that this happens, It's a vicious cycle. Oh, I'm done with this. I don't want anything part of it. I'm going to go meet someone the wild. You delete your apps, and then twenty four hours later you're like, oh, what if someone's newies in the area, Like trying to find myself a new sausage sizzle in I go off to Bunning's.
I like that.
The idea of a sausage sizzle and a dating app just has so many other underlying metaphors there as well. I might suggest that is my next date. I might be like, do you want to get a sausage sizzle? That's very seductive, just trying something outside the box. All right, let's get into some real content. I'm sure guys have
had enough of my stories for now. In every episode we do also do an accidentally unfiltered and last week I told a really stupid story about the time that I sent out a mass email with instead of kind regards, I wrote kind retards. It was very, very upsetting on traumatic time in my life. However, I do have another accidentally unfiltered moment that is from the past, and I'm going to trudge it back out from the deep depths
of where I've kept it stored. Yes, I was dating this guy and we'd been together for a little while. There was a little bit of an overlap with his ex girlfriend when we got together, which I didn't know about at the time but then found out about, and it made me very crazy, which I know. We've talked about how crazy I can be in past episodes. So if anyone's listened to, like the last episode, for example, I have a tendency to go a bit Stage five
crazy girl. By all your stories since probably the last four months that you've told me have been like, okay, so this is one time was a bit crazy, and I'm like, babe, I don't think it was this one time, Like I think you were just crazy guys.
Crazy is all situation.
Although a genuinely think that we we've all got the crazy flame. It's just some people enhance, some people fan the crazy flame, and other people put it out.
I just dated guys preparing a hole on it.
They had explained dated guys for a very long time that fucking put meth lade and spirits on my crazy flame.
That's what happened.
So this was a guy who one hundred percent doused my crazy flame in metho.
He had an ex girlfriend.
There was a bit of an overlap, and instead of being a normal human that's very well rounded and blaming him, I blamed her because it's always fun to blame the ex girlfriend for everything right and because your partner's just perfect.
So I became a little bit obsessed with her and I would hate stalk her.
Oh my god, you did it on social media. So I hate followed his ex girlfriend, which he didn't know about. But I would always look at what she was doing. I was like, became obsessed with his ex girlfriend. I would look at what she was doing. I would like, you know, see who she was talking to. And I think at the end of the day, I actually just trying to make sure that they weren't still in contact.
But I really, really, really like to a point where it was not appropriate, would like look at her Instagram or check it, no, not her Instagram, Instagram didn't exist, then look at her Facebook.
This one day.
And I know a lot of people have done this in the past by typing in a guy's name who they had a crush on, but I back when Facebook used to be that you would type it into the search bar your status updates.
I already know where this is going. I can see.
Yeah, So instead of like having a situation where a lot of girls have written in the guy they like, I have been dating my boyfriend at the time for a whole year, whole year, and I typed his ex girlfriend's name into my status updates.
I stated my status was really drunk.
I dated my status and then just went on with my night, like totally didn't know that I'd done it until I got home seven hours later and my boyfriend was like, should we talk about the reason that you have Sarah and whatever her name was. Her name was not Sarah.
As you're currently what are you doing, Sarah Williams. That's what I'm doing.
Literally, that's what I did. And so that was a real eye opener that I stopped. I stopped hate following her and I pulled my.
Head in does she know? Oh my god? Everyone saw it. Every single person saw it. It became the joke of the town for about a week. So did do your boyfriend like did you stay together? Or was he like, you're being a creep.
We stayed together for like four years, but yeah, because he thought I was a creep, totally total creep, and I am a creep, but I'm less of a creep now, guys. I've grown, I've developed. I'm like a caterpillar and now I'm a butterfly. You know what, I made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I'm better for it now. Can you please keep remembering these mistakes you've made because they're so funny? No, I feel like next week we need to get back to your accidentally unfiltered guys, so
please keep writing into us. If you have had something happen to you which is absolutely outrageously ridiculous, then jump onto our Instagram at Life Uncut podcast and send us your stupid as stories because I'm sick of divulging my own to you now.
So should we get into today's topic?
Yeah, guys, look, we have a topic today about the one?
Who is the one?
Who?
How do you know where the one? What is it? Not in here? Are you? The one? Probably?
My girl? One?
Is that a thing?
The one? What is the one? How do you know if you've met the one? How do you know if your current boyfriend or girlfriend is the one?
How do you know?
This is what we're going to be talking about today because it does come a point in your relationship where for some people, it just they just know, it just makes sense. They're like, I know that my partner is the one, Whereas for other people, they may find themselves down the line in their relationship thinking, how do I know is this person the person I'm supposed to surpand my life with. Is this what it feels like when
you've found the one? And maybe you think, out of the seven point six billion people in the world, that there is only one person for you. And if you do think that and you find them fan lartitastic, but also.
Maybe you think there's more than one person.
Well, you know what, guys, we did a little bit of research. We went straight to a really really reliable, peer reviewed, scientifically trialed and tested source.
Did we my parents?
So, guys, in this little experiment of hours of trying to discover how people know and what it means, I thought, my parents have been married for forty two years and they have been together for forty five years, and I'm talking with sickening.
They're in love. They hold hands walking down the street. They are here.
Actually blame them for my high standards of when I'm looking for love, because I've seen it.
Guys.
What I did was and this was only last night. I didn't give them time to think about it. I messaged them both and I was like, guys, we're doing this segment. I want you to both independently write to me. Why you knew each other with the one? What was it about each other? I said, don't talk about it. Though.
I didn't want them.
To compare because they're very different people. So I thought it would be really interesting to compare their answers.
So I'm going to read you my mom's first.
Okay, when I met your father, I was in a relationship of two years. I think I always knew something wasn't quite right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it until I met Tony. Not by choice, whichwas a sneaky setup, but that night I just knew. It's like they say, you just know. The reasons I knew were he was handsome, peachressed well, he had nice teeth, he had clean feet, he.
Was tall, and he had nice hair.
But I just love Okay, we're only halfway through that, but I just love that she's like her things. Her tick off box was that he had clean feet, very important. She's still into that and nice teeth. How did she know what his feet looked like. Was he not wearing shoes to dinner? No? Hang on, then, she said, now I was attracted to his physical attributes. It was time to get to know his personality. He spoke nicely and intelligently.
He wouldn't swear in front of me. Were both old school like that where you didn't swear in front of ladies. Is she saying this because we swear too much on this podcast? Write in and was like, Britney, you saw a lot last episode. I was like, so, Mum, I'll try to brain it in make the same promises. I'm sorry, missus Hockley. She said he had a great sense of humor and he could dance. She says it was the way that he took her on the dates, which I
think is important. Picnics with salami, cheese, wine, crusty bread, pat camping in the snow, watching the sunrise on a hill. After the date, I just knew he was the one because I loved hanging out his place, not doing anything. I just loved being around him. I hated at the end of the weekend when I knew we had to say goodbye to a Wednesday, I knew he was the one because I wanted to have a family with him. I knew he would be a great dad. The rest
of it is history. We're still very happy together after forty five years. We do everything together because we are best friends. It's not always easy, but the trick is to never give up and fight for things. I couldn't imagine my life without.
Him, my love. That isn't that's ridiculous. Wait to him. My dad's though.
Mums was very dot point. She's like, this is the reason dot dot dot clean feet, clean teat. She's very to the point. My mom My mom loves shows love by doing things. You know they love what are they?
Languages? Love languages, my mom say. She will not come to.
Me and be like I love you, I'm so proud of you. She's not like that, but she will do things. You'll come home and she would have done your washing and it's folded, or she'll have dinner like she's like that.
Now, guys, bear with me.
I'm gonna read you my dad's When did I know NICKI was the one for me? Let me see, it took three seconds, it really was. From the first time I laid eyes on her, I just immediately knew, and I was knocked off my feet. I used to play squash on a Thursday night and then go to the Kollara Hotel in Sydney for few years. After that specific week, a friend of mine said, hey, mate, you're gonna come to the pub this week. I really want to see you. And I was like, yeah, cool, I'm gonna go meet
you at the pub. Let's have a pub drink. Anyway, my dad turns up and there's actually two beautiful women that walk in, his friend's girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend's sister. So anyway, they just start talking. Dad's like the attraction was immediate. It was overwhelming. The next day I called her and I asked her out, and she said, no, but call me in two weeks because she's like, I've got some housekeeping to take care of over here.
Yep, yeap.
He didn't know that, so he was like, I mean, like, I've been rejected in the past and I've had raging success and no one's ever said call me two weeks. So he called her in two weeks to the day and she said, yes, let's go out. Basically, she had to go and break up with her boyfriend. So then my dad says, what is it about her that I can't do without? She's my best friend. I could not be married to anyone else because no other woman would ever compare. I would never treat her badly in my
whole life. That's not to say that it's all been easy.
It hasn't.
And I know that there are times over the forty five years that the thought of leaving has crossed my mind. And although she has never said it directly, I'm positive that she has had the same thoughts on occasion. But let me tell you this, and you can take this to the bank and get interest on it. Anything worth, anything, is worth fighting for, not fighting over. The good times come and go. But if what you have is truly what you desire in your heart of hearts, then you
have to go through the bad times. If it's worth it. You make accommodations. You figure out if what you may be giving has more or less value than what you are getting back. No one is perfect, no one, But if you value enough the end result, you'll go through all the shit to get there. She has become so much a part of me that I can't separate her from me. We have, in some ways separate lives and totally separate interests, and I think that's important. But we
always come back together. If you can understand what I'm trying to say, I'm bugged.
If I know, like I said, word simply can't explain it. She's everything. Okay, I think my dad had a few beers. Can we please kill it?
Dad his own podcast. There's a separate mic over there. We can just pop him in here. There's an end. I trust her with everything one hundred percent of the time. I know she has my back even when I doubt myself. She has been with me when I have swored, and she has pulled me from the depths more than once. She's the reason I keep getting up when I get knocked down. She's the reason I get up every morning to train at four thirty am before I do a
full day's work on a construction site. How can I expect such a beautiful woman just to want me if I don't try to present the best version of myself to her, Literally, everyone's relationship, we should just still pack up now and die and then he basically it says life has been very kind to me anyway. That was love letters from my parents.
Oh that is Britz crying.
I'm so lucky to have them, and like, doesn't this just make you think that it's out there?
I mean, I know you've known it's incredible.
I haven't bloody founded, but look, guys and everyone that's listening that single.
It's out there.
But I think that was why I wanted to do this as a topic for this week as well. So after spending the weekend with my grandparents, I'm so lucky that I still have my ninety four year old granddad and my ninety year old grandma, and they have been together and married for sixty nine years, which is just the most incredible accomplishment. But they still love each other
and their lives are completely inseparable from each other. We live in a day and age where things are so disposable now, and we can be very disposable with people and with relationships, But there are relationships and there are people that do manage to stand the test of time. And I think it's incredible to ask your parents and be like why, Like why are you the exception?
How did you make that work?
One of the biggest things to take from that is this whole idea of the compromise and the compromises that you make, and understanding that that person is not perfect and you're not perfect, and you're not always right, and that you have to sometimes give and take in a very fluid nature. Like your dad said, things are worth fighting for, they're not worth fighting over exactly. That's such a good You nail that, Tonal, Tony, you nail that.
But it's so true because over the years, of course, you're going to change and there are going to be times of your relationship where you're going to not be able to stand looking at that person. You're gonna be like, I just You're just everything you're doing is annoying me. It's just like the rollercoaster of life. How could you be with someone for forty years or like your grandparents' seventy years and not have that moment. But it's about
sticking in it. Whereas I feel like our generation, I don't know if you agree, we tend to things get hard and we try, we sort of jump ship a bit. Like anything in life, there is the full spectrum of it. There are people who do treat it with a much more disposable nature, because happiness is something that gets drilled into us over and over and again like you should be happy, you should always be happy, But the reality with life is that you're not always going to be happy.
Then happiness isn't something that you can have as a constant. It's something that's fluid. It comes and it goes. But commitment and having companionship, those things are constant. And that's like this level of comfort that you can have in your relationship that can be a constant. But I think because we get drilled into us that you're supposed to always be happy, that the minute that we don't feel happy, we're like, well.
Something's wrong.
I need to change something because I'm not happy right now, instead of taking the responsibility back on ourselves to be like, Okay, well I'm responsible for my happiness and I.
Need to work towards getting back to that state.
In relation to that, I think when we're talking about how you know they're the one in that situation, are you waking up unhappy and upset and depressed because of the way that your partner is treating you? Or are you picking up like that and your partner is there supporting you and trying to pull you out of it, Because that's a really.
Big indication of Are they the one?
Are they the one there that's like pulling you up off the ground and lifting you up and making you feel better?
Or are they the reason?
Just to backtrack a little bit, what I would like to know from you, Britt, is do you believe in a soulmate?
Oo?
Okay, so straight up, I call them penguins. I have my sister and I have always said, like, we're searching for our penguin, could they be your penguin when we're talking about the one? Because guys, you may or may not know penguins mate for life?
Do I believe there's one penguin?
No?
I don't, And that might be controversial to a lot of people. Obviously, I think that some penguins are more suited to you than others. But I think there are a lot of people out there in the world that you could have a really great life with and that can offer you so much and you can you can live out your days with. But I don't believe that in the seven point five billion people, there.
Is that one, just that one person.
Absolutely, I believe in a soul connection. I believe that you can meet someone and you connect on a level that transcends the other connections that you have in your life. And that's what I feel like I have with Matt, is that I really have a soul connection with him. But is there only one soulmate? Is there only one person? Like if Matt and I were if we were to break up tomorrow because something happened and he didn't want to be with me anymore, do I feel like I
would never ever meet anyone else again? No, I could meet somebody else again, and there would offer you something different, and it would be different exactly, it would be different. You would never replace the exact same thing. But you can still build those connections. And that's why people who you know, maybe they get divorced or maybe somebody passes away in a relationship and they able to remarry a
second time. I'm sure that there was a point in their relationship where they felt like that person was the one and that was their soulmate. But you know, life is long, and we do sort of go through these different phases in life where someone who you think might be your soulmate in your twenties may not be your soulmate in your thirties or your forties, because you may
not make those decisions to grow together. And so unless you're constantly re checking in throughout your relationship every single day and making sure that you're growing together and in the same direction, that's why people grow apart. That's why things change and people change. It is what happens. I think timing is everything as well. Like you know this saying that people say like, oh, they were the perfect person at.
The wrong time. If it is the wrong time but the right person, it's the wrong person exactly like that.
Someone said that to me once and I was like, that's such a cop out, Like what a load of shit because I was I was like, you're just making up an excuse. I'm just not the one. Don't say I'm the one at the wrong time because the time wouldn't matter. This is my opinion, guys. I don't think there's ever a right time for anything in life. There's always going to be a roadblock or I'll just wait till I get past this. I'm so busy right now, or let me do this, or let me get myself
here or whatever. There's never going to be a right time, an exact perfect moment for anything.
You make it, you just do it well.
It comes down to your priorities, right, Because when something becomes, when someone becomes the one, and something becomes the right time, the one you want, the kids you want, the marriage you want, like you know, the little house on the hill. That's because your priorities have shifted in life and you're opening yourself up and your life up to make somebody the priority. You're making a choice, and that's what makes
them the one as well. You know, there's so many different factors that actually have to fall into place before you can get to a point in your life and be like, Oh, that person's the one. Maybe you're at a point in your relationship where you're like, is this person that I'm with the one? Like? What questions can someone ask themselves to better define how they're feeling about someone?
Well, I think a.
Huge one for me is I want to picture how they would be with kids. Would they be a good dad? Can I picture them running around the house with what? Can I trust them with my kids? Can I see them bringing my kids up to be really good humans? Like if you can't see them in a father figure or I mean as a mother, if you can't see her as somebody you would absolutely want to raise your children.
I think that's a pretty big alarm.
Like assuming that you want to children, we'll assume in yeah, you need to be aligned in your core values and what you want in life in order to continue to grow together in life. I think that there are it's a pretty big deal breaker. Not for me, but I think for a lot of people, like kids versus no kids, you have to have that conversation because there are a few things in life that are like absolutely meaning we're not compatible, Like this is black and white. These are
non negotiables in my life. Yeah, And I think kids, for a lot of people, you have to have had that conversation because if you want them and they don't, well, then like where do you go from there? So I think one of the things that I really prize the most when I have thought about is this person the one, like especially with Matt, when I was like, you know, am I going to marry him?
Am I going to have kids with him?
Is Matt the one I personally had this like overwhelming chemistry and that completely unarmored by him. But one of the one of the really big questions they think you need to ask yourself if you are wanting to figure out whether your partner is the one or not? Is not so much about them as a person, but do they make you a better person? Like do you like the person that you are when you're with them? And are you proud of the person that you are when
you're with them? Because, like we said earlier in this episode, some relationships really inflame, you're crazy, and they really make you behave in a way that you're not proud of, or they make you feel insecure, they make you feel unloved, And if somebody is in any way making you feel that way, then that's not your person, that's not someone
who is the one. Because yes, relationships are difficult at times, and yes there's something that you need to fight for at times, but difficult relationships and hard times should not be the normal.
You should be.
Wanting to be a better person. I feel like like when I'm finally find my penguin, I want to be I want them to make me feel like I want to do more for them or more for myself, or work hard or just be the best version of me, bringing out the best parts, not the parts that infuriate you or like like you know, because we all have those. There is this big push to find the romantic love at first site, and I think, you know, it's amazing that your parents did have that love at first sight.
But for some people, in some relationships, it doesn't happen.
And also for.
Some personality types, some people aren't driven by these huge waves of emotions. Some people are very atypical personality types where they're very considered and very methodical in their decision making. And I think for those people, they may not have the relationship where they're totally bald up their feet from first meeting because they just approach things differently. So the one can still be a slow burn. It doesn't have to be this romanticize like all encompassing love at first
site experience. It could be somebody that you have been with for length of time and then you've gotten to a point in your relationship where you're like, Okay, what do I want? Where is our life? Where is my life going? Is it heading in the right direction with this person? And are we ready to settle down. There's no right and wrong about what makes someone the one. It comes down to the person that you put your
energy into that makes that person the one. Yes, I just got super excited from the point you just made Like when you said it's your decision, it's so true. I meet people all the time that offer different things, that want different things. But for some reason, something inside of me is like, I'm making a choice not to pursue that. I'm making a choice not to go on a second date. I'm making a choice not to turn this into relationship. And I don't know what it is.
It's like a core part of you inside that just knows one day the time will come where someone will be like, let's do this, and I'll be like, you know what, Yeah, let's it's timing. I don't think you'd ever be with somebody that you have to completely change yourself for. And if they're making you feel like you need to change, then they're probably not the right person. They should be complimenting you. But I'm pretty big on sacrifice. I think no relationship will ever come where one person
doesn't have to sacrifice things for the other. And if you find yourself doing that, I think that's a pretty big indication that you think they're the one. Because you're like, I will go without this because I want you to have this. I think that you have to be very wary in that situation. That it's not a one sided thing and that you're both making sacrifices for the relationship.
I think that that is what is like an at testament to the fact that they're the one, is that they're they're equally as willing to make sacrifices at what you are. Definitely, because otherwise, I mean, there is absolutely the situation out there where it's an unhealthy or toxic imbalance. And yes, you may think or you may really want that person to be the one, but when you sit down and you actually ask yourself the questions, like, one,
am I a better person when I'm with them? Do I like the person that I am when I'm with them?
Two?
Do they treat me with respect? Do they love me? Do I respect them? Do I love them like? Do I feel safe in their company? Do I feel like they're committed and they're trustworthy? All of these things and all of these questions. If you're answering no to any of them, then it kind of avoids how you feel about them and whether you think they're the one. If you can't answer yes to all of those questions, then they're not the one. Because what's that perfect meme that's
like going around. If a guy is constantly making you cry, he's not your fucking soul mate. Like, he's not your soul mate?
Is that a meme? I just think we said that, didn't we. No, I've definitely seen it on Instagram.
You know, sometimes we want something so bad that we're willing to ignore the red flags and we're willing to just completely be blind sided because of what we want. And you have to sometimes step outside of yourself and ask yourself those questions and really sit down and be honest with yourself and go, Okay, well, yes, he may be the one for me that I think, but I'm clearly not the one for him because he's not treating me in the way that I deserve to be treated, in.
Which case, cut that shit and run. Girlfriend.
Your partner needs to meet you halfway. You're not going to be constantly blown off your feet every single day. In a relationship, things spiral up, and they spiral down, and they spiral back up again, like you have to have the ebbs and flows, so long as underlying there is this really deep seated love for each other and you feel more for them than what you have for your past relationships, you can't expect perfection is what I'm trying to say. You're never going to get perfection in
a relationship, exactly like your dad said. No one is perfect, it's just us. I'm sorry, nice. I think when you find the one, it's it's when they do shit that pisses you off and you're still okay.
And you let it fly where she wouldn't. Is that the same You let it fly, you let it slide, let it go.
But I guess you could let it fly as well. Probably not like a penguin, though, No, they can't fly.
They can't get off the ground. Thank you, Brett. That was the point I was making, Thank you, David. The penguin cannot fly, he does not get off the ground.
So I was doing some research and there is a lady called Levi and Kooka. She's a relationship dating. Wait, you did some research for this episode? I always do it, babes. They just talk about the horizontal dance of love aka sexy times. Basically, they're just saying a sure fire away to know that someone is the one is when it doesn't just become about sex. Like so the beginning of a relationship, you can't keep your hands of each other.
You know, the infatuations there are so much last and you just want to do it every way, which way, place, location, time of day.
I'm so tired.
That lets me tired thinking about it. But they're saying that, like when it gets to the point where you want to just hang out and talk like you and Matt did, yeah on Valentine's to turn the TV off and the screen time off and just have a good chat.
Well that's how they note.
That's a sign you can be around each other and everything you plan doesn't be around sex. Everything you plan becomes about actually spending quality time together. And that's because you've moved into the next phase. It's marrying your best friend. It's finding someone who you can spend every day with and you don't get sick of their company. I genuinely don't get sick of Matt's company, and that's kind of so gross. But I could spend every day with him
and we hang out doing nothing. We hang out doing like whatever. It doesn't need to be anything exciting, but I genuinely enjoy being around his company all the time. It's like my mom and dad said, the key to their relationship is that they're best friends, and they still date nights. They still actually put in the effort. My dad will still write love letters to my mum and leave them on the kitchen table. It might be like
three sentences long, but he'll still do that. They still walk down to the beach of a night and walk the dogs and hold hands. They might not even be talking, but they're putting in the effort to be together and just doing life. What do you think about open relationships? People that date multiple they both agree to it, so.
I like polyamori.
Yeah, well no, like someone wrote in and we haven't talked about it yet, but so basically she was just saying that, like once a year, they have a hall pass for each other so they can they're allowed to go and hook up with somebody.
And they've been together for a long time.
They love each other, but it's almost like a get your fantasy out of the way and then come back to me, and they don't talk. They have like rules where they know that once a year they do it, but they don't talk about it, and then they just get on with their life.
What do you think about that? Oh, man, I.
Think different strokes with different folks like that can work for that literally so punny. I think that that could work for some people. You'd have to be very like a not jealous type of person at all in order for that to be able to be sustainable.
I don't know. I couldn't see.
I couldn't see myself being in that situation and feeling fulfillment from it, because personally, like, I'm not so sexually driven that I need to go out and explore to in order to be feeling satisfied, Like, I get that satisfaction from my relationship in totally. And if Matt was to come to me and say that he wanted to have an open relationship one day a year, would I would throw a huge spanner in the works because it would mean that our call values unaligned.
It's not what I want for my relationship. Well, that's the thing.
These two are aligned. They're saying they both do it in which case amazing for them. At the start, when I heard it, I was like, oh, that's I'm not here for that. But the more I've sad on it, because it was weeks ago that I've been thinking about it and I thought we should actually talk about it, the more I think about it, I'm like, do you know what, fifty years is a long time to be one person. I get why sometimes people are like I wonder after twenty years, wonder.
What it would be like.
But if you're on equal terms and you both like for that one day, go do it and then come back, I don't know, it's sort of.
I would never do it, but I get it. I get it.
I am trying to take a more open, like look at life and people's opinions, and like I have really tried to understand this couple, and I understand it.
It's not for me, but I get it for them. I don't think of myself as a jealous person, but I think I'm think you are from what you have told me. Hey, I'm not jealous.
I've just been cheated on, that's yeah, So like put you in a different position really, so like I'm not jealous now, Like I mean, I don't ever question Matt's actions, but you know, like we've said in past relationships, people's people's behavior and being lied to and that betrayal because.
You feel me jealous totally.
And I love the fact that we're at a point in our relationship where we're it's so comfortable, like where we're best friends. And where we've gone from that intense first part of the relationship where you like it's so heightened and a bit crazy and you feel a bit like out of your body in love with someone, to being in a space where where talk about anything, like
nothing is off limits in our house. Do you remember or do you know was there like a time where you were like, oh my god, this isn't just a guy I'm dating from National television, this is the one Like do you have a moment for you where you were like, I think this is forever?
Was it on the batch or was it after? For us?
It was weird, I think because almost because like we had had that very very intense first like part of our relationship, and the thing with being in that experience is that it's kind of like you against the world. Like when we had finished the show, I really felt like our relationship was really galvanized by almost by people being like.
You're not gonna make it.
Like the negative comments made us bend together even more because it made us kind of go, Okay, well, we've made a solid commitment to this, like let's give this a full one hundred percent shot. So I never ever questioned Matt's intentions about whether or not he was in it. Once we were in the real world, we could actually spend time together properly, and we knew that our core values were aligned and we knew that your best mates.
As soon as those things had kind of been really solidified, and I knew that they were real because of his actions and not just because of his words, that was when I was like, oh, like this is this is it?
Like I am, I have no doubt.
And so we had only really been together for maybe six months after the show when we were talking like, yeah, I know that you're the person I'm gonna have kids with. I know that you're the person I'm gonna marry. And I've never been in that situation so quickly before. But we were just one hundred percent on the same page. And I never ever doubted his commitment to us.
Ever.
You just got there. You don't know how you got there, but one day you were just there. But that's not to say like when we first met, I still had that that instant chemistry. I still had this feeling of like, oh, you're going to be a big part of my life. Like when you meet someone and you just know, you just know that's something with Nick No.
I remember meeting him, like exactly what you just said.
I remember meeting him the first day and I was like, oh my god, you're going to be someone in my life. Like there's something there. There is no way that this is not something. I just think I got really lucky with Matt in that, you know, the things he said he wanted, he actually genuinely wanted in the real world, whereas I have definitely had past relationships where like a guy who I dated for almost six years, who I was convinced I was going to marry when I first
met him. I went home and I said to my sister, I met the man I'm going to marry tonight. And I pursued that relationship and I tried so hard to make it work, regardless of the fact that it was pretty toxic because of the chemistry and because of this overwhelming initial initial like initial feeling that I'd had that he was the one.
I guess guess what, He's not the one.
He is nowhere on site now, guys, I was wrong, and you can be wrong about that.
I think.
Oh so my dad said that after he met my mum on that one night he went home to his mom.
He literally went home and he.
Said, Mom, I just met the girl I'm going to marry. He called it after an hour and she was like, how do you know?
He said, I don't know. I just know, Like he said, I can't even tell you. But he walked in.
The door and was like, I am going to marry her. My mom said the same thing. She said, I knew after that night that what I thought was right. She'd been with this guy for two years, right, and she thought she was going to spend a life with him until she met my dad, and then she's like, I don't know what it is, but I have to end my relationship and I've got to go be with this person, and I have to be.
With this person. So I guess that there is really it happens.
And I'm not being so cynical as to say that it doesn't happen and that love at first sight is not real. It one hundred percent is real, and one hundred percent does happen for some people. What I'm saying is that we can't expect that as the normal for everyone. Absolutely, if you're out there expecting that your one and only the one is going to be a love at first side experience and you're going to know straight off the bat,
then you're really doing yourself a disservice. I think that that experience is totally the exception.
It's not the normal one hundred percent.
It's going to be a long winter if you think, wonderful for you and just like be swept off your feet. But I do think we've been sold this from like this Disney fantasy of what the one is, and that sometimes we need to step back and have perspective and go, you know, it is okay for it to be the slow burn. Everyone's relationships can start in different ways, and I think if you have tunnel vision about how it needs to be, you're only limiting yourself from having something
that could be incredibly fulfilling in the long run. Yeah, so I guess, like I guess to wrap it up, if you're thinking if someone could be the one, the questions you're gonna ask yourself, Let's think, are your values aligned? Do you want families at the same time? Do they make you feel like you're being the best version of yourself? Do they make you want to be a better person? Do you like the person that you are when you're with them. Do you trust them? Are they kind to you?
Do you feel safe?
Do they acknowledge you and make you feel valued every day? All of those things if you can answer yes to those questions, and you can answer them yes from yourself and also yes from them back towards you and baby, I think you found the one. You got your penguin got your peg so peng what they what they actually do is when they decide that can you say?
In the David Attenborough Boys.
Okay, when the male penguin actually decides that he has found the one, he will search deeper, day and night, all over the land to find a pebble. Once he finds the perfect pebble, he presents it to the feet of his female penguin. It is essentially an engagement ring if if she chooses to accept the pebble, they will spend the rest of their life together.
How was that?
That was really beautiful? Thank you? All right?
We always rapped the episode with our little segments Stuck and Sweet, where we just break down the week and talk about the best and worst things that have happened to us, the highlights and the low lights. As you will Brittany, what was your low light? Oh, so lend me you're a suck baby girl. Look I had a solid suck this week. Actually, sometimes might a really insignificant
like the last Magnum was eaten by someone. I feel like most people have like a week where things are generally pretty good, and then you have like a very benign suck, and then sometimes you're gonna have a real life suck. So I have been working like an absolute boss lately, and I don't talk about it a lot. No one really even knows I work. Half the time, I just put on my Instagram because caause everyone just
thinks you're an influencer. I know my Instagram this week because I get so many people like do you even work? And I got so frustrated because I was like, if only you knew. Anyway, a lot of my nights at work, I get home from the hospital at I'll get home at one am. When I work, I am the lead ct radiographer of emergency, so like I, when I get there, I have to be the.
Boss of people and I have to be there.
Anyway, I got home really late, like midnight, twelve thirty, and I'm just having I was so exhausted. The shift was so bad, like so intense. I cried at work, not in front of anyone. I had to go behind the door and these two roll like tears rolled out of my eyes, and I was like, oky, get back together and get back out there. But also, like your work working in emergency, when you have a bad day at work, it really shits on everybody else's bad day
at work and puts everyone else's day in perspective. Like a bad day when you work in emergency in a hospital is a freaking bad day. Yeah, it can just get it can be tough, and you never know in a hospital and in emergency, you don't know what your day is going to be like and might be cruisy and that's great because people aren't having accidents, or it could just go to shit. Anyway, this was like a ten hour shift and it was horrible. I couldn't scratch myself,
I couldn't have a sip of water. And I'm not even exaggerating. People that work in it will know. I had these two tears roll out. Got back together, I did.
Anyway.
I got home and I was exhausted, and I was supposed to be back at work in the morning, like not in like six hours or something. Anyway, I'm having the time of my life in bed like I was in the deeper.
Tell us more about it.
Oh No, it was like I was passed out unconscious. I had my eye mask on, I'd had lavender. I sprayed lavender on my pillow, like I was knocked out cold. And I wake up to my phone vibrate and I look at my message and it's my boss, like the big boss, and she's like, hey, brute, just thought i'd check if you're all right. Where are you, et cetera, because you were supposed to be the lead in ed at seven am.
And I look at the time and it's eight am. Two more tears came out of my eyes.
I was like, in the Northern Beaches, I feel like you need to drink some more water. If you're only able to squeeze two tears at babe, I was just like.
Oh my god.
I just rode back and I said, I'm so sorry. I've never slept through an alarm in my life. It just goes to show you how a tea that was. I was like, I will I literally rolled out of bed grab my makeup bag because no one needed to see me how I looked.
Put my scrubs on, and I was out the door. I got there in an hour.
And everyone at worked that day, every single person, even the doctors, were like, are you all right? You look frazzled, and I'm like, no, I'm just not wearing makeup. No, it was I hadn't brushed my hair, I hadn't done anything. I didn't even have shower. I just rolled out of a pen and got to work and like had to run the day again. And it was the worst, the worst at forty eight hours of my life. Not my life exaggeration, but it was bad.
That was my suck. Not as bad as.
The people who were coming into emergency. Like that's some good perspective, exactly. And I knew, like, I'm having a shit day. But guess what, at least I'm not on the other side of the counter, the counter, the desk, the radiography box. Who knows I am very sciency guys. Well then my sweet was my sister, who you may or may not know. She's my best friend, but I work with her as well. She works in d with me. Do we do the same thing? She had known the
days that I had been through. She'd known that I'd been having a really bad time. And I got home from work after that second day and on my doorstep was like this delivery of chocolate underwear, a photo framed of us, like I had a little gift box of stuff and it was just the nicest thing. She goes to me, Okay, I get that the undies are weird, She's like, but they're super comfy, so just roll with it.
I was like, brill, I'm in. I'm down for whatever right now, ladies, let's go.
But also what I will say is I let myself sit in a bad day for a very short time and I put into perspective. But for me this week, I remember calling you and I was like, I've had this shit a day and then you talked me through your week and I was like, oh cool, I'm good.
I was like, I am fucking good. So it's about putting it. You's like to be the benchmark for people to be like.
Oh no, no, no, no, your life is fucked mine it's fine.
But it was like no, and I guess like, I mean, you can talk about what you like, but you, for me this week, put it back into perspective.
Plus Fortnite has not been particularly good. I will we will actually do an episode in a couple of weeks time about some stuff that's been going on and which was the main reason why I wasn't able to we weren't able to bring you our episode on Thursday last week. Not ready to fully go into it just yet, but it's some pretty important life stuff that Matt and I are going through, and it's also something that I think a lot of people will be able to relate to.
And so yeah, that's something we'll talk about in a couple of weeks time. But that has definitely been an overarching thing in my life at the moment. Also, then on top of that, my grandfather being really really sick, so us going down to Wollongong and having to be by
his bedside was really hard. But in saying that, you know, I also completely value the time that I get to spend with him and the fact that I'm so grateful that as a thirty four year old woman, I'm able to still have my ninety four year old grandfather and father figure in my life.
But absolutely, and.
That's so nice that you can take that moment to appreciate how lucky you've been the fact that you know, I was able to see him before he isn't with us anymore, and he was able to say the things he wanted to say to me and was cognizant enough to be able to actually say some really important things. That was That was my sweet of the week as well as myself. Yeah, obviously real life hits you and
I guess you know. We'd started this podcast because we wanted to talk about the small things and the big thing with you guys, and talk about the shit that happens in life that you know, we can't escape. Laura called me during the week and answered. And you know when as soon as you hear one word from a person, you're like, something bad is happening along it's just your voice and you I remember because I started crying down
the phone too. You were crying and all you said was I just can't imagine not having him here, Like that's all you said, and it just I just I felt I felt that for you, And.
Yeah, yeah, that's yeah.
It's funny because we all know, like life, guys, it's pressures, and we all know that for every single one of us. It's crazy to think it's going to come to an end,
isn't it. But you, Laura, can take some salacing knowing that, like, you are so close with him and you've had an amazing life with him, and he has had a long, amazing life and absolutely and that's the thing, right, Like he's lived the most insanely amazing life and has had a you know, his minanner and a partner by his side for sixty nine years who just adores him and like, I can only hope that I have that in my life when I'm his age. So yeah, that was my
that was my suck and my sweet this week. Yeah, and guys, it was a bit of a bit of a sad one. Normally we're pretty lighthearted in all this, but it's funny kind of just set to each other, didn't we What do we say? Well, like you just said, I just feel like this was really quite a serious week for us, and like even the episode, but like sometimes life will be like that.
Sometimes you and I.
Are going to be ridiculous and silly. And you know, someone wrote into me and told me my humor was immature. Sorry, I will try to have a more mature sense of humor for you. I love your Lolo Debby immature here, but like and you're absolute seven year old. More than some weeks, life is going to be more serious and we are going to be talking about heavier things.
Oh my god.
Absolutely, Sometimes life just fucking smacks you down, And you know what it's it's how you deal with these situations in life, and it's I think the biggest part of it is trying to find the best bits in the shitty parts. You know, there's always, no matter what what's happening in life, no matter how gray and awful it might seem at certain times, there is always something that you can take that's positive from it if you look for that.
I really truly believe that.
Anyways, guys, thanks for listening to another episode. Sorry that we've got a bit deep there at the end. I hope you enjoyed it. Guys, you know the drill. If you have any questions for Ask Uncut, which will be coming out on Thursday, then send us your meaty, deep, dark and dirty questions to our Instagram page, which is at Life Uncut podcast. Slide on in there, Britt. We'll
get back to you when she has the time. I'm trying and we will pick out some super relatable, very juicy questions to answer on this week's episode of Ask Guncut, So make sure you come at us with some good ask questions. So, guys, if you have loved this EPP or you love our other epps as well, please hit subscribe.
Subscribe is very important.
It's what helps us get seen and grow and keep on producing this content for you felt free so that you can get it in your is So hit subscribe.
Leave us a review.
We read every single review and we freaking love every single person who has left us a review. And I'm bringing some mature humor. Said no, Brittany ever, Oh my god, please don'tbe it.
Were an idiot? Lola di Loo.
Yes, oh you're on board, Lola, but I don't have any more go and Arthur heaps more, but I'm going to drop them sporadically.
Please don't. Okay, So yeah, go enjoy your day.
Guys, five stars share the love because we love love