Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander peoples today.
This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another podcast. That way hi, way too long. I'm taking over.
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and like to be fair, this is a podcast. Welcome back to a podcast. Who knows what one it is. I'm never giving you a week off again? You weeks. Oh that's the problem. You've forgotten own a podcast, forgot money, do everything? Do you know what? Maybe it's because I'm a whole new person. Maybe it's because I'm not Laura Burn anymore, you know I am. It's because I'm a married woman. Hey guys, welcome to the podcast. This is a podcast. What a
fucking mess. We could start that again, but we won't. Look, I got married and did and I haven't been here and we've had producer Keisha filling In doing a fantastic job, really amazing job, and Keish have been holding the fort thus far.
We did attempt to not message you. We attempted to not bring work stuff your way. Obviously there are a few messages here and there. But did you have a good week two weeks off?
Well?
It wasn't off. Well, it wasn't off like okay, so the wedding was do you know what? Before we go any further, we'll just tell you what today's episode is about, because it is a deep dive into all things wedding. But not just with me. We have who else, My lovely husband, Maddie Jay joining us shortly to tell you everything that went down. He's running late.
He's a bit of a diva now, isn't He gets married now? He won't turn off on time?
Is that what happens after you get married? I don't know. I wouldn't know. I feel like usually that stuff happens after you start doing breakfast radio. No, I'm on time. No, So Matt's going to be joining us in a little bit, so we won't get into the wedding chat. Now that's all coming, it's all coming. It's all coming. So we had like five days down the coast, down in Mollymook, which we were trying to keep secret so that the paps wouldn't find us, but surprise, surprise, they did. Where
there's a Wilder's away, there certainly is. So we spent five days down the coast and then we came back up to Sydney and things just kind of went back to normally. The kids went back to daycare, we got back to work. But we are recording this very very late on a Monday night because and the reason for that is what.
I thought, we're going to say it at the same time.
I was gonna yell at the same time, but then I thought that that might blow people's ear drums out. The podcast A Training Podcast Awards were last night and we mind blown. We won the People's Choice Award, which is the one that we just really loved and came about, which the only reason why we won this is because all of you guys have voted and this so the People's Choice Award. It's the same award that we've won the last couple of years. This is now our third
year in a row, which is wild to even say. Well, honestly, and look, we'll tell you a little secret. We didn't think that we were going to win this year. I mean, obviously the last two years have been incredible, but this year we kind of thought there's so many more podcasts out now, Like every day there's a new podcast that's created, there's so many incredible podcasts out there. But you guys did it for us, and we're so incredibly grateful, Like you're fucking amazing.
There really are so many incredible podcasts now and so many talented, talented people, and we were, I mean, we were up there with the best. Our company was amazing.
Mom and Maya out loud. Yeah, bloody love those ladies, love them genuinely. I think the big thing with podcasting is that, especially because it's such a female dominated space, there's this belief that everyone must be in competition with
each other and that the competition can't be friendly. But it's such an incredibly supportive space, like Mea and Holly and Jesse have been so supportive of our podcast, and it's actually just an incredible privileged be alongside such a powerhouse of a female lead podcast.
But we do really just want to say from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you, because if it's not for you, guys, every I'm about to get emotional about to cry. If it's not for you guys every day tuning into us, and sometimes Laura and I need to Why am I crying?
I don't even have my.
Periods Because we're so great, We're so grateful, because it's not lost on us how lucky we are to do something we love and have this huge extended family, and I feel like that's what we are. I feel like you guys are part of our family. We're only here because of your love and support and because.
Laura and I are crazy and just for some reason never gave up.
It's still here but because of you guys, and the fact that you actually took the time to go on and vote for us at the awards. You know, I know it didn't take long, but you still had to make an effort. And the number of you that wrote to us to say that you did that, we read every single message.
We're so appreciative.
We just want to say we love you so much and we appreciate you all so so much.
Yeah, and the only thing I want to add to that is, just like, what an amazing community life on cut is we can't wait to like head into twenty twenty three and keep creat content that you guys love. If there's anything that you want us to talk about, if there's new guests that you want to have on, you run this as much as we run this, so point us in the direction of the stuff that you want to listen to, and that's exactly what we will look at doing.
The community is absolutely after this will stop talking about the community. You guys is our favorite part of the podcast for us to look in the Facebook discussion group. And over the last year, you guys have helped I mean Dennis, We love Dennis. Dennis was a man that was facing homelessness. He was an older man that one of our listeners went out of her way to help, and then everyone got on board and we raised so
much money for him. There have been countless numbers of charities we've helped and families we've helped, and I'm so emotional and proud to see it. But I really love you guys, and I'm proud that you're all such fucking good humans.
And I don't know why I'm crying.
It's all cry because it's in this day and age. In this world, it's really hard to just find a group of people that just want the best for each other, and they want the best for other people in life, and they go they'll take the shirt off their back to help someone else, and it is it's a rarity these days. It really is people always competing.
Against each other.
And you know, it's hard if I people that want to lift people up these days. But we have this community that's like I have tears rolling down my face. We have this community that's like, I I just bloddy love you guys.
That's all I want to say. Okay, everything the British just said, I absolutely echo. And the only other thing I want to add is as much as we love the positives that come our way, we also appreciate the criticism, and we also appreciate it when you tell us destructive constructive criticism. I don't just say with fucking hate us up, but like, we appreciate the criticism and we are always trying to do better. But not just was it a
big week in the world of podcasting. On Sunday night, something else that I wanted to touch on, which was I mean, it was a really remarkable thing to be a part of but also I think it all changed the face of television and also change the face of female fronted television. I got to be on the Project on Sunday as one of the fill in like ringing hosts last minute, They're like, Laura Ben, what are you doing.
You're doing a great No, don't understell yourself here the first pick. You're doing an absolutely great job. You've been sporadically filling in. You're doing very very well.
Not that I did do a great job, but I did sporadically fill in like I did.
I saw that they've got a name card for you, a placard on the door. I saw that on a post it note.
Yeah it's really official. Yeah that is get more official than that. But Okay, the big thing about that show was that at the end of it, Lisa Wilkinson announced in a very touching speech that she is removing herself from the Project effective pretty much immediately, and that she's taking some time out from being a broadcaster and being
on TV in general. And I think like this year, not just Lisa's story, which obviously there's a lot of backstory there around the Britney Higgins case and there's some negative parts to it where I think she felt very forced into it by the negative backlash that she's received through media. But we have lost a lot of wonderful female led journalists this year. Carrie Bigmore is leaving The Project, Lise Sales has left her news reporting role, Tracy Grimshaw,
Lisa Wilkinson. It is, I personally think devastating to see such incredible female journalists leave the field and for us
to not yet have women to replace them. It seems like more women are leaving before women are coming up in the ranks, and that's a really worrying and frightening space because they are the people who have been held up as the role models within the industry, and I think we all grew up with these female powerhouses and to see them kind of leave our TV screens, I think it's just so so sad it is.
And I didn't get to watch it, but I did listen to Lisa's speech this morning, and it was very emotional. It was very emotive, very moving, and you could tell it was very heartfelt and she has had a very long and incredible career. And that's not to say it's over, because it most certainly is not. I'm interested to see the transition and the pivot, and she has said she's staying with Channel ten. I'm very interested because all at once, like you just said, in this very short amount of time,
we've lost these key female players. There's a lot of moving parts, a lot of people are moving around, a lot of people, people are moving networks, moving on resigning.
I'm very interested.
To see what happens and who feels though she's maybe Laura Burne, I think you're free available.
You could be an option. I mean, that's very subtle, brit. Do you think we just cut this bit of the recorder and send it across to Channel ten hats? Yeah? Yeah, why not sent it straight to them? Hi, guys, here it is. Here's my resume in my application form for our position that I think became available on the project. Please Dick, yes, no, maybe no, Lisa, we absolutely love you. We were amazing. Okay, there's something else before we get
into all things wedding chat. There's something else that happened recently. And look, this is a tricky one and I know that you might find this a bit challenging to navigate, Brit, because it has to do with Rebel Wilson. You may have seen on the eighth of November that Rebel Wilson announced that she had had a baby Vias surrogacy. Now that little baby's name is Royce Lillian Britt. I know how excited you were. I know you guys touched on
this on the podcast when I was away. But the thing that we wanted to talk about is that Rebel has made headlines since this, and it's not because of the wonderful news of her baby, but it's because of the actions and something that she did which caused a whole lot of backlash, a whole lot of mum shaming. One might say. Now, this isn't a new thing for us to talk about. We actually spoke about mum shaming a couple of weeks ago when we were speaking about
Ashi Bynes. So. She's the influencer on the Gold Coast. She's a fitness chick, very big on Instagram, like over a million followers. Now, if you don't remember that story, it was basically like Ash binds her baby was three months old, she went away for a girl's weekend and the baby stayed with her dad. With the baby's dad were not with Ash binds his dad, which was alt
to be fine, okay. But the reason why we're talking about this is because the week after Rebel Wilson had posted that she'd had her baby Bia surrogacy, she also posted a video about seven days later that she and her partner Ramona were at Leonardo DiCaprio's party. And now the judgment came in quick, and it came in fast. The judgment being that the people who were writing on her Instagram were writing things like she's a new mum and she shouldn't even consider being away from her child
to be able to enjoy a party. How selfish it was, how unbelievable it was that a new wouldn't be connecting with her child, spending every single waking moment with her baby, that she would be out partying. And we have a few feelings about it.
Well, it did come in fast and hot. You're absolutely right, it came in heavy. There were a lot of people in her corner as well, for sure. And I want to start this conversation by saying we would have this conversation regardless of who it was. It just so happens to be somebody that is a friend of the podcast and it is a friend of mine. That doesn't change my thoughts whatsoever. I think we need to have a
very honest and real conversation about mum shaming. I am not a mum, so I do not know what it is like to have a baby. I do not know what it's like to be at home with a baby. I don't know what it's like to have a surrogate. I cannot comment from that. All I can comment is from a human on the outside looking in. I think it really needs to be said, Like relationships, like people's life journey, there is no one right way, there's no one right paths. What's right for someone else is wrong
for someone else. Why is it so bad for a woman that has had a baby in the last two weeks? And to be clear, this situation is different to a normal birth. She has a surrogate, she is a Hollywood superstar. She's in a very privileged position. We don't know the details of what she is, but we know her family's over there, her mum's over there, she has nanny and a night nurse, and she's in a very very privileged position.
This is to be clear. So it's very hard from the get go to compare our own journeys to somebody like that. And I think that that's a really important place to start. Not that we should be comparing anyone, but she's in a privileged position. What people were saying is, how dare you go out to party when you have a newborn at home? But would it be different, and this is my question, do you think it would be different if she took that hour two hours away, which
she did, It was only a couple of hours. Would it be different if she was like, Hey, look at me, baby free, I'm going to get a massage, I'm going to have a meditation, I'm going to do some yoga to distress so I can be better for the baby. Would it be a different conversation if that was where she spent her time.
Oh yeah, totally. It's the context of what was done, I think obviously, because it's partying, it's seen as frivolous. It's not seen as filling your cup up. Because she was somewhere where she was having fun. It goes against the rules of being a new mum. And now the unspoken rules of being a new mom is that you are a martyr. You sacrifice your time, your life, your everything to being a mom twenty four to seven, especially
during those first few weeks. I'm going to be fully honest with you, and I had to check my own bias with this. When I very first saw it. My very first initial reaction and instinct was like, oh, wow, I wouldn't go to a party after having a baby. But then I had to think about it, and I was like, yeah, of course you wouldn't, Laura, because you birthed a baby, you physically could not have gone to a party. Trust me, if Leonardo DiCaprio had invited me to a party, could want to go. Amen. No, I
wouldn't be there because I couldn't be there. I physically couldn't be there. My body wouldn't have let me be there. The only thing I could do in the first couple of weeks after having a baby was be at home and be with my baby because I physically couldn't do anything else. So the surrogacy journey is very different. I think unless you have experienced that, it's hard to compare
my motherhood journey with Rebel Wilson's motherhood journey. Right, and the things that were normal to me are never going to be normal to her. Because her whole experience is different. But I do think it comes down to this idea of like, just because you take time out for yourself initially in those first few weeks of being a mum, regardless of what the activity is, I think we can all make the very important assumption that she wasn't off like getting blind at a party. She just attended a party.
Rebel actually very very very rarely drinks. That's just not who she is, It's not what she enjoys. Yeah, and I think that there's obviously partying has the connotations that she must be out getting blind. But I think, you know, going and leaving your baby in the care of someone else for a couple of hours, does it really matter
what that activity is. Doesn't matter if you're going through massage as you said, Britt, or if you're going to a party, Like why are we able to determine what is a good use of a woman's time if it fills up their cup.
The other wild thing about this that I wanted to discuss, and it does open a whole other chapter of discussion, is that this would never be the commentary if it was a dad that went away for a couple hours to a party and I know Laura that you.
Have experienced this in some capacity with Manny Jay. Look, it's a hard one because Okay, we spoke about this, like I said, with Ashy Bynes, and I gave my honest opinion around how I think that there is these unrealistic expectations on mums in the first few weeks, and how there is a very different set of standards for dads and the backlash that we received because of those
opinions came through. We even received a review from someone which was I'm paraphrasing it because I remember it when it came through because it made me mad, but it was mum chat, ain't it? And basically the review was saying exactly what these opinions of people who have written in comments was is that as a mum, there's something really special and sacred about it and you should be sacrificing and giving your time to your children. It's expected
that that expectation is different to being a dad. And I guess for me, I struggle with the fact that, like so when I and I know I've told this before, but when I gave birth to Lola. Five days after giving birth to Lola, Matt started Dancing with the Stars. It was the same week that she was born.
And Dancing with the Stars is a very for those that don't know, very grueling schedule.
It is a thirteen to sixteen hour day, often because they were either on filming and if they're not filming, they are practicing. Not one person messaged me, not one person slid into my DMS and said why is he not home with you? Or why is he not home with his baby? But there's a very different expectation of mums. If I was to have gone on Dancing with the Stars a week after having a baby, people would think that I was the most neglectful mother. Oh, I mean,
you would have heard about it, that's for sure. And now I'm not saying I'm not saying that being a mum and a dad need to be exactly the same. I understand that there's different roles. You know. As a mum, we do take on a more nurturing role. We do end up being the carers because for a lot of women who choose to breastfeed, we're also the food sauce right physically, the food source. But I think we need to keep that in mind when we judge someone like
Rebel Wilson. Rebel Wilson is not the food sauce. So if she is feeding her baby, it's by bottle. If Ramona is feeding her baby, it's by bottle. And if their mum, you know, the nana, is feeding the baby, it's by bottle. So I just think that we can't compare what is right for one person's motherhood journey and
imprint that on every single person's motherhood journey. Ultimately, the big take home message for this, and something that I had to check my own bias with, is that just because someone does something different or something that you don't agree with in how they mother, in how they choose to bring up their children, it doesn't automatically make them
a bad mum. So just because Rebel took time out to go to a party for two hours doesn't mean that she's instantly a bad mum because she broke these arbitrary rules.
You can be rest assured that child is very loved and very safe and very wanted.
Sara.
Guess he doesn't come out of the blue. People that go down this path they want this very very much. And the other thing that I want to just point out is that it is a difference to you cuation.
Rebel ended this. She is the mother, she is the breadwinner.
She still has to go to work, she still has to have a life, she still has to provide for her family. I think we all just need to stop making things so hard for other women without judgment and always try and remember that you don't know what someone else is going through.
Absolutely ever. Yeah, and I think that the last thing to wrap this up on is that you know, we say you, but obviously like this is not directed at you as a listener, like never when we are talking about these things that were like you're the one who left nasty comments, uh, people just in general, you know that the general feelings that we get. And I know that you know there is so much mum shaming that
goes on. It's not a new thing to talk about, but we'll probably keep talking about it for as long as it keeps on happening. And ultimately, Rebel Wilson did feel really shamed because she ended up removing that Instagram post. I mean, I can only assume, but the judgment was so thick and so fast. It wasn't the reaction that she expected on that video. And a lot of assumptions can be made by a single point in time. You know, one Instagram post, one video only shows that ten seconds
of the day. And so I think we fill in the blanks then with all the information that we don't have. She may have popped in for half an hour, she may have gone for two hours, she may have gone for ten hours. We don't know. But we're filling in the blanks with information. And what often happens when you fill in the blanks is that you'll automatically go to the worst possible option. You automatically make the worst possible, almost negative assumption about someone.
And that's such a good point, Laura. You just made me think this has no similarity whatsoever. But when you just said, Okay, so she puts a video up and she's at a party, you have no idea how long she was there for. I remember times where I've gone to the beach or something in a work day. I reckon, I've been there for ten minutes. I've gone down, sat down, swum, got out, and Lawa is like, oh, I'm like, fuck, you go to the beach and oh, I said, I
literally didn't even like put my stuff down. I went for a dip and got out and came back to work. But that's what you want to assume, right you see a video, you're like, oh, they must have had an amazing eight hours at the beach.
But it's it's.
Again, it's just this idea of coming full circle that you don't know. I mean, social media is a whole other world. You don't know what someone's doing, you don't know what someone's going through. So let's all just be kind.
Okay. Well, the last thing I wanted to touch on before we get into accidently Unfiltered and then a wedding chat is I walked in today and Britt's dog, Delilah is wearing a pair of old undies with a whole cut out of the backside, like a nappy that has a period pad liner inside it. Well, Delilah, she's a woman, she guys, this is a really exciting time in a dog mom's life.
Delilah got a period, she's I mean, which means aka, she's on heat.
Okay.
I don't know why I have no like, I have no adversions to period like. I will talk about periods all day long. You will care I But I was like, dog periods are ill I don't want to talk about your dog getting periods. And Britt was like, how dare you be so judging of her? It was like block your ears, Delilah.
Delilah got her period, so a heat, I don't it's her first heat.
Now happens? Do you take it to the park and everything just tries to mount her? Oh? Yeah, you can't. You Actually, the like strict rules around when you can't let them.
Off the lead because they put out this smell right that means like, hey, I'm here and available. Dogs can smell a female on heat ale away, and they can get quite aggressive.
Because Delilah I saw it.
I thought she was coming to heat because the day before they must put out a little tiny smell that's like it's almost here.
Some dogs a yeah.
Some dogs started like snipping around and one tried to hump her and she was like not having a bar of it. So she cracked it and I thought, wow, that was my first insight into what could go on. Apparently you can get pretty big dog fights because they really want to have sex. If there's multiple dogs, they all come in, it's like a group fight.
It's bad. So there are some things that you do have to do.
But what it is is like little It's not a period like an adult gets right.
It's not like a constant like an adult dog or a human.
I mean like like a human. It's not this constant period. But it's droplets of blood around the house, little tiny droplets. And so what you can do is I have ordered them. They're coming today. I think they're dog diapers like you.
Literally, Delilah is wearing moody bodies with a hole cut in them.
I did put some moody bodies on her, but now she's got some red. I think she's got some red Calvin clients. I have to shave you a video. I'm gonna take a video because we've cut a hole in them for her tail to come through. It's actually the cutest thing you've ever seen. I think it's cute, and she.
Doesn't care, but this way it stops a little spotting around the house.
But I just feel like, you know how you have these milestones with like Lola and Marley.
I'm like, my children walked and now they're saying mummy, and Pritty's like my dog got her period, and I do. I look at her like, I'm like, oh my god, kittie, are you Are you all right? You're a grown up. I'm looking at it like she's a full adult. So she's gonna be climbing out the window and going out meeting boys. I've got a look her in because they do they trying to have sexy time. I've only ever hate boy dogs, so I don't know these problems, these trials and tribulations.
Well, yeah, she will probably be getting desex soon. Anyway, enough of my doggies period.
Oh my god, see even that can't apear period. Shame is just okay. I have an aversion to dog periods like that's all fair? No, not fair, fair, Okay, let's get into accidentally unfiltered this one. This is pretty spicy.
I don't know if you're allowed to do this. Actually, I think there's some crossing a bit of a line here.
Hi, ladies. I was a little.
Naughty and I started a situationship with my physio to spice it up. I thought i'd go to his clinic after his last patient. Things started to heat up. I'm on the physio table on my back after plenty of foreplay. He goes to enter me, and I arch my back and grab the end of the table.
Surely, surely you're not allowed to fuck your patience. I think this is not okay.
I arch my back, grabbing the end of the table, trying to be very sexy. Little did I know there's a bar that drops the head end down. In an instant, the head half of the table totally drops, just like a Mister Bean episode when the hospital bed springs into a V, but in reverse. I slide straight off head first in shock. He dives forward to catch me. I'm naked, legs everywhere all the while, I'm in hysterics. To make things worse, I'm lactose intolerant, so something me something and
upset my tummy. I couldn't even use my tummy muscles in an attempt to hold myself up because I had a fear of farting or shining. I just think it's funny because she's what she's saying is she's upside down, sliding off the edge of the bed. But she could have activated her core to hold herself up, but she was too shot because she happened. She was like toosing tolerance.
So she's like, do I tumble off naked, embarrass myself or al I was try and stop the tumbling and shot like these were two options.
I think the real lesson here is that you probably shouldn't fuck your physio in his physio clinic. Well, she said, I made up for it with a great blowing. How's that sign off? Do you think that this is actually legal? Like, could you get into proper trouble for having sex with
a client? Yeah, you can't do that. Yeah. If you're working in a private clinic and you were like radiographying and then you're like, oh, that guy's really hot and then you had sex with him in the clinic, would you be for you'd live?
I think this is different because I think what this is was she was a patient and then they've decided to hook up, and I think now she's just come back in at the end of the day as like a That's what I think. I think she's scooting around the whole not allowed to do it, lose your license thing by coming in now not as a patient. It sounds like she came in up to the last appointment. That's how I think she You scootered around it. Oh yeah, so I scared she didn't.
I think there's.
Couples now that fucked on the physio table, but I think they started off as phisio and patient, so it.
Sounds on the borderline. I don't know about that one, all right. My one is Miss for said she was hungry and wanted a banana smoothie. Bananas were still green, so I grabbed a frozen banana from the freezer and added some milk, yogurt and berries and blended it all up. I gave it to Miss four, her child is four years old, and she was like, Mom, this doesn't taste very good. Please can you make me a better one. I was like, don't be ridiculous, So I took it
off her and I sculled some of it back. Sure enough, it tasted pretty horrible. Turns out I blended frozen raw chicken sausages into her smoothie instead of frozen banana. Pray for us, because I think my whole family now has food poisonous. Now, Manella, you can't have rawed chicken like I feel like, if it's fresh and raw it'd be fine.
No, No, Aura, what do.
You mean you feel like if it's fresh and raw it's okay? What is supposed to frozen? No, it happened.
This has happened a very similar thing as HA been many many years ago, a very similar accidentally unfiltered came through chicken breast. I remember it was something like chicken breast, this is chicken sausages. But if you picture, I can't make sausages in the skin.
If you picture in the fridge, right, you know, if you have a bit of chicken breast and you wrap it up in clean rap, it does once it gets a bit frosty, it looks very similar to like I wrapped up banana.
I can see how this would happen. Feel so sick thinking about it. Also, the fact that you sold it back to try and make a point is absolutely effing rak. Anyway, with all that out of the way, let's bring in Maddie Johoo, mister and missus Burn Johnson. Queue the wedding bells and let the doves out. Let's get into this wedding chat.
Well.
I have interviewed some people in my time. I have been very, very lucky with the people who've had on the podcast on the radio.
But today I'm gonna call it. It's probably gonna be one of my favorite interviews.
Laura Burn Johnson and Maddie j Welcome to Life on Hi guys, thanks so much for having me.
I didn't know how to do that. Did I welcome you to the podcast? I don't know. I feel like you should have pumped up our tires a little bit more.
I'm actually really upset that no one's even offered me a drink.
There's one here.
I've got you a water that's a quarter of a cup of warm water.
It's literally half drunk glass that Brittany had for the last recall, but.
I'll take it.
Beggar Beggar's can't be cheers?
Is here many Jane? We are recording this. Does it feel weird? We're in Marley's old bedroom when you guys lived here.
That's where the podcast office is now. Is that weird to you? For anyone who is new to the podcast, Basically, britt moved into our old apartment and so the podcasting room is Molly May's bedroom and not for me. I've been coming here for a long time, but Matt, this is your first time back in our old apartment.
How do you feel It feels smaller in this room than I remember.
I just think that's because you're in a bigger house.
It's very different to how we had it set up. Your furniture is a lot nice than what we had.
It looks like we're living in trash. And then you walk in here now and you're like, oh, actually, it could move back. I could have stayed here a bit longer. Well, you guys, it.
Was a very big life milestone. This past week was how long ago? Ten days now?
I kind of keep ups. So we got by the time this comes out, it was two Fridays ago. So yeah, look it was on the eleventh of November. Matt and I we made it official. We stopped living in sin were husband and wife. Congratulations till death.
Thank you very much.
Do you feel any different or does life just go back to exactly what it was?
I had a bit of post wedding blues. I think obviously it feels pretty much the same.
Although wasn't the moment that you realized that all the planning of the wedding was over and you just have to spend the rest of your life with me.
The invoices started coming through and I was like, oh, oh my god.
Holy like, we spent how much I'm broke? Do you know what? Though? So we got engaged four years ago and we've been like four years.
No, you exaggerate that it was three It was four years ago because it was Marley was born three and a half.
See, yeah, so you guys, I remember, it was not I think we just met. So it wasn't that about long ago. I think you've added to Mayo on this.
Okay, so three and three quarters of a year. I added three months. God sue me. Anyway, it was quite a long time ago to the people who want to be extremely specific. The wedding got delayed once officially because we had a set date, but kind of twice because we had kind of mentally pushed it back a year and then I had to get pushed back for two years. We were like, let's just throw it so far in the future.
Two years. It was a year and three quarters.
Nay, stop splitting strogg Okay, so such a.
Little squabbling couple. Now. The only time I feel different is when we argue, and in my head I'm like, oh, it's such a little arguing.
No, But I do think I think it's an important question do you feel different? Because I think so many people have asked that, and also I think that there's this thought that you will feel different after a wedding. I know, I've spoken to a lot of married couples and they said, like, there's something about just being married that makes you feel more solid and like settled in your relationship, that makes you feel more secure. Almost.
The ring makes me feel like that a little bit. Well, when I wear the ring, I walk around and I'm like, sorry, leaders.
They're all lined up down the street. You have to push them away all the time. Well, I guess I think for me, I was almost expecting to feel something different, not that I needed it, like I'm so happy in the relationship, but with this extra thing. But I feel exactly the same. And I love that I feel exactly the same because I think the security for me in our relationship came when we had kids. I already felt that at the end of the day.
It's just made it that little bit harder to leave now, right, once you sign a favor and your the rings is a bit harder.
As hard to leave a relationship as what it is to leave a gym. Now that we've got to sign.
Document, Okay, let's talk about the lead up to the wedding. So obviously the lead up was pretty long.
We've established it.
There were a couple of postponements, we had COVID, But what was the lead up like, now that you it was locked and loaded, you had the date, you knew it was coming.
Was it all smooth sailing? So we I mean, you know, it was not smooth sailing. I love that that was a leading question when no, we had we had some real speed bumps. We had some issues without a wedding planner, with things not really going to plan and things not being booked in. And we got to about five weeks out from the wedding and we realized that there was still so much to do, like, so much to do. We didn't have any transport, any chairs, all flowers were still up in the air. Why.
I was pretty guilty of being that person going well, I used to work in events, so this will be something that I can do entirely by myself, not realizing that it's been a long time since I've done a proper event. Now a little bit shit at it.
There's often this stereotype that the female is the one that does all the work, like the female's the one that organizes the wedding in heterosexual couples, and not the case here. No, and I didn't have any desire get busy.
No.
But I also think there's so many brides who really enjoy like the Pinterest boards and creating the wish list of what their wedding is going to look like. And I did not have one iota of that desire. It did not hit me at all.
But you were very I only came to you to like with options to lock in like flowers. I didn't have that either, but you're very good in terms of you know what would work and what wouldn't, and you still chose the kind of theme, colors and overall style of the event as well.
Yeah, maybe it came down to the fact that I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted, but I didn't go down the fluffy rabbit hole of like planning out the wedding. I found that very stressful and not fun. So I kind of anything that for me is absolutely not critical in the moment just doesn't get done. So it wasn't until five weeks out from the wedding that we were arranging like what like. I literally sent the brief for what the flowers and the decorations and
stuff should look like five days before the wedding. That was when she got the theming for the wedding was five days before, so it's wild things kind of came together really really quickly in the end. But also I think that's a reflection of us as people.
You know, one I sarck with a deadline, yeah, and like it'll only be right until it's crunch time that I actually put my ass into gear.
So actually the opposite to that, you're very fucking good on a deadline you needed that means you're yeah, you're good.
Laura and I do things when we've got two minutes left to do them, both of us.
That's why it's chaos in here. You work to a deadline.
A big question that people have asked Laura obviously, because when a woman gets married that I feel like the number one thing is the dress, the first thing they've got normal people not normal people, but many women have their Pinterest board of their dress. They think about their wedding dress from when they're a little girl. They've got the idea in their head. It's the biggest day. When did you find your dress and how did you go
about that process? Did you know what you wanted or we like I'm just going to go try one hundred things on and hope that one fits.
I can tell you actually a story of what happened now. I feel like it's been there's been that space between it so pretty amazingly, a wedding dress designer, a very very famous wedding dress designer in Sydney reach out to me and said that they wanted to make me a wedding dress. This is like when Matt and I very first got engaged nineteen ninety nine. Yeah, back when I was twenty four. Their a wedding dresses is so expensive, like twenty thousand dollars. And I went to the fitting.
It wasn't even a fitting. I went to what was the first consultation, and the arrangement was is that they would make a dress for me to wear to the wedding reception, to the ceremony storry and then I had to get something girls to wear to the reception. And it was like alone, like they were going to make a dress for me, but then I had to give it back after the wedding, which I was fine with. I was like, you can take the wedding dress back.
I don't need it. It's nice to just have something beautiful to wear for the day, but I don't need a wedding dress and I'm gonna hang on to that. The whole thing was so it ended up being so strange because I went for the consultation and they had already designed the wedding dress. They had designed this like high neck, long sleeve, very regal. It's something that I believe, long sleeve lace, it's something they would envisage someone like Kate Middleton wearing.
It was a very do you look a little bit like Kate Middleton?
That is a stretch, like how many glasses of wine do you have to have for me to look like Kate Middleton? But is it unusual?
Because what sticks out for me there is that it's one thing to say I'm going to design your dress and you say yes, But then to design your dress and say this is the design we've done, and this is it like to not even talk to you about that or like, was there any discussion on this long sleeved, high neck dress or is it.
Just like this is what we think you should wear. Yes. Well, I got there for the consultation and it made it feel very business actual as well. It was like, this is the dress this is how many posts you need to do for Instagram. This is the advertising we expect out of it. And I felt so I mean, I was still grateful for the offer, but I felt like my wedding was becoming something that I didn't want it to be. And we had a bit of a conversation because I was like, look, that's so far from how
and what I envisaged for myself. Like I thought I wanted to wear something that was lace with a low back. To their credit this label, they redesigned it more in line with what I wanted. I was like, Okay, I
can do that. And then about six months past, and the more time that I spent thinking about it, and the more time I actually like really kind of figured out what I wanted for my wedding, I felt more and more ikey with the whole thing, the fact that I had to, you know, provide x amount of posts, and the fact that I had to talk about it in media. I was like, that's it's just so not what I want for my wedding. Anyway, very last minute, as some of you might know, I ended up going
to Melbourne. I have a beautiful girlfriend there named Kaya. She does incredible wedding dress dresses. It's Kaya Studios. I cut ties with the other brand and I ended up getting a dress made through Kaya and she just made the whole experience, like from everything from the dress fittings through to actually having the dress made, the whole thing felt like a like I was the bride, Like it was an experience for me, not just that it was
this business transaction for Instagram. And sometimes you need to go with your gut.
If you walked into that the first one and you're like, this dust doesn't feel right.
I mean, we get those feelings for a reason. Also, they wanted the dress back without any dirt or any damage to it because they wanted to be able to put it into their showroom afterwards. My dress that I wore the wedding was fucking trashed, like it had dog footprints on the back of the itus just slept on it. I felt, okay. There was this one point where I was standing at what do you call it? I was
standing you call it the altar, isn't an altar. I was standing in the front where the arbor and the flowers anyway alta during the ceremony, and I thought someone was pulling my dress out, like I thought someone was like laying my dress out so that they could get a nice photo of the train or looking beautiful. And then I felt this like thud thud, and then the pulling got heavier and I was like, what is that?
And it turned around and Buster had walked onto the dress and laid down on the dress as though it was a dog bed. It was very cute.
Though You're lucky you didn't piss on it.
Matt, what was it like finding your dress? He did look beautiful, he did look very hands I feel like.
It's very different for guys. I feel like women are far more sentimental. For guys, it's just like you, yeah, you're going to going to.
You wanted to wear a pink suit and I fucking veto. You were like, I'm gonna wear a framy pink suit. I was like, please don't.
I wanted to wear something different. I thought I was looking at photos and everyone's wearing either a wie or a navy your black suit, and I thought, let's just do something different, something crazy. And I saw this pink suit and it wasn't like a fluorescent pink. It was a baby pink, like.
A soft pink. Yeah, that's cool, right your lip maybe please or not? No, No, that's a very deep pink. No, it was like establish. It was like a soft pastel pink. Guys on my face, get.
Your mind out the flatting with my armsband.
Brittany, you're in the room.
I'm like, similar to this blackness.
Britty gets her nipples out. She's like this girl, is it like this kind of baby pink? Like a soft suppered pink just tasted I mean, just like nothen I went to her mouth, I mean, what comment about the lists of my face?
All right, we'll say so. We said we said no to the pink suit.
Thank god I can wear. This conversation would have gone.
So I went with the Navy. Went with the Navy. MJ. Bail obviously wear mjboll suits kind of exclusively just because they fit. Hashtag dot com sixty nine ninety five RP is the surprise.
And I think that, well, I think the Breakout Stars. I was going to say the show. I guess it was break our starves of the show with the girls, all the Flower girls. You had your niece there, you had your nephews there, but obviously Marley and Lola were there. And they were just divine. It was like the cutest thing I have ever seen because they were so happy. They were chaos Lola's walk around pulling flowers out, but it was really beautiful.
To say, it was so funny because, like I know, everyone, so many people don't want kids at their wedding, And obviously we did our relationship a little bit back to front, so we had kids and then had a wedding marriage.
Yeah, we it is making love.
We've been living in sin. But we had not just our girls, but we had five flower girls. We had two page boys. We had a three legged dog. It was like a fucking circus. It was like sooner clown was going to get out of the car. But it was chaos. It was absolute chaos. It was one point in the ceremony where Matt and I were saying our vows, which were ridiculous anyway, and Laula was standing next to me just pulling flowers out of the arbor and walking
around with fistfuls of roses. But it for some reason didn't seem like it wasn't right. Like that scene, Gene looked perfect.
I remember being at other weddings where the kids involved and there's moments where the kids going up to their mum or dad and wanting a cuddle and they were rejecting the child being like no, because they're in there, you know, in the process of saying their vows, and I think you can't. You got to swim with the tide with the kids. Whatever they want to do, go to let them do it. And so there's one part I was putting your ring on. I think Laura and Lola wanted to cuddle, so I was like, I'm going
to give her a cuddle. Like I was juggling the rings and Lola and putting the ring on you and it was it was chaos.
You have to shake her off your leg like she's like some away from me. No, it was a special What was your favorite I mean, I know what my favorite part was of the ceremony, but what was your favorite part of actually like saying the vows? You know, Because so Matt and I we we had a really
special night just before the wedding. We went out for dinner at Seawan's Panorama two nights before the wedding, and we sat down together and we started to write the sentiment behind what our vows would be We didn't write our vows because we wanted it to be a surprise for each other. But Matt had started writing what he wanted to say to my family and he was crying at.
The poor waiter must have been like, what the fuck is going on with table four?
They divorcing and they ringing their diary.
Come over and be like, here's your chicken.
I love you so much, Laura, Is there any sauce? But it was. It was so beauty wonderful. Though, like I think, it surprised me how emotional you were. It did not surprise me.
It surprised me as well. You are a crier, though only now that I've had kids. I'm only a recent crier like Matt four years ago would have been like, yeah, cool, whatever, But now I'm very emotional and I actually wish I didn't fight the tears as much, because I was crying on the third, on the Tuesday or the dinner when we wrote our vows. I was crying the night before, I was crying the morning of. I fucking cried so
much on that day it's ridiculous. My mom came up to me and was like, she tapped me on the shoulder. This is before we had gone down to the ceremony when I was getting ready and she just said, oh my boy, and.
That's that made me cry.
I was crying at that.
You know, worse she does like she couse, She's like, hi, Brittany, I'm like, oh my god, I'm crying.
You know. She had the most amazing speech, didn't she. But Okay, So one of the things that happened before the wedding, which was really really special for me. So my granddad, my papa, like I grew up, I grew up with him. He was my dad for so much of my life because my dad wasn't around a lot. He was in the army and he lived in another state, and my granddad, my papa, stepped in as a real father figure for me throughout my whole life. And I always thought it would be my papa who would walk
me down the aisle, something I'd always said. And he passed away a couple of years ago. And so I think weddings are those real moments where not only are you so grateful for everything that you have, it also makes you think about the people that can't be there that you always thought when you were a kid, when you pictured your wedding what it would look like, that they were the people who would be there, and oh,
this'll make me cry. I was at the house getting ready with my sister and the woman who had done my flowers, she came in with the bridesmaid's flowers and my bunch of flowers, and she was like, do you have any makeup on? There's something I need to show you, but I want to make sure that you're not like in the midd room in the midst of getting prepped.
And she gave me my flowers and on the flowers they had sewn a locket onto the ribbon of the flowers, and there was a photo of my nana and my papa And I wasn't prepared for it, but it hit me like an absolute freight train, and I just sobbed, like I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for a good forty five minutes. And then everybody in the room was crying. And I felt like it was good that I got that out because I think it prepared me a little
bit for the day. But was there there with you? Yeah, And it meant that he got to walk down the aisle with me, even if he wasn't with me. Yeah, that was really really special, and I think it sometimes there's really little things that other people do for you that make the day even more special, you know, Like my sister thought it was her thoughtfulness that made me be able to have that, and that's a memory I'll always have from the wedding.
Yeah, that's I mean, that's very beautiful. And one thing, one big question was who cried first. I think we've established that many J Many J was the crier.
What was it about your vows? Like what part of your vows was the part that you liked the most? Because I know about my vows, I know that there was like a story that I told, which I will share.
It was the part which I thought I would have cried earlier, to be honest, But there was just one line in there where I say, I absolutely adore you, and for somebody, that was the trigger.
Adoring me made you cry. You're like, it's true.
Maybe that's because it was the pinnacle, like you were coming up to the you know, the top of the roller coaster before you shoot down.
Yes, And after that I said I love you and then so that was when I started crying. And I think I turned to everyone. I was like, oh, I'm so so rude.
There was not a dry eye in that house. Let me tell you, not even Buster. I think bim Buster. There was a part of your vows, Laura, which I want to ask you if you're happy to to read out, because it was really beautiful. It. Do you something you've mentioned on the past, This story something that really you heard and it really hit home and you've briefly touched on in an episode quite a while ago, but I want you to reiterate that.
You know it was funny because I so I wrote, I wrote this, it's a story, and I wrote it into my vows.
I was thinking, what story are you going to tell? I was like, tell me what it is?
What I shut yourself? And that is when I knew. As I wrote this, I was like, is this a really weird thing to put into your vowels? And then I I was saying the story out loud, I said it.
I think.
I read it out to my sister and I read out to a few other friends and they were all a bit like, where are you going with this? But then it ended up being like the one thing that everyone was in tears about because I think the message of it is important. It's still important to me. But okay, I'll read a bit of it out. This is my wedding bells, which is weird. Okay, do we have some music weekend overlay? We don't have any production much. Someone
pretend like there's wedding bells playing in the background. Okay, this is what I read to Matt. I wrote the other week. I was telling you about a podcast I had listened to where Hugh and Kyleenberg was in his kitchen this one morning, stressed out over the kids and work, when his nanny came in and asked her how her morning was. She said she'd been for a run and had breakfast with a girlfriend, all before eight am on
a Tuesday. After the nanny walked out, he then said to his wife that he felt genuinely jealous and a little bit resentful of people who can just get up in the morning and have no responsibilities. Hugh's wife then showed him this article that she had just been reading, and it was about how life is made up of seasons, and how whenever we are in a season of life, we often spend much of it wishing that we were
in a different season. It'll make me cry again. I told you this story and you asked me if I felt like that, to which I replied sometimes. You paused, and then you said, I don't relate to that because I am in the season of my dreams. I have thought about that a lot since then, especially when it came to writing these vowels. And I want you to know that I am in the season of my dreams with you, and I promise to never take that for grandit as I know life doesn't get any better than this.
I will cry. I feel like I'm intruding on a moment I have right here. But honestly, for me, let's leave because I can't endit that out.
But if you want to leave the room for about five or maybe six.
Minutes to get your nipples out again, well you want what do you want? Guys? The nipples are the privacy. Okay, So something else I want to talk about and something that I'm sure a lot of you saw if you were across the Daily Mail. So our wedding took place at three pm in the afternoon, pretty standard by yeah, yeah, there wasn't. That wasn't the punchline. I was like, I wasn't the stand up. By six thirty pm, there were already articles that were out on Daily Mail.
That's where you were going with the timing.
Got it with very intrusive photos. So from the paparazzi, Yeah, from the papara not from guess.
I'm just clarifying because you didn't mention it was paparai.
This has been a real saw point for us because we didn't think that the perhaps knew where the wedding was. We genuinely didn't think that they had followed us down there because we have a very good eye for perhaps now like I think we're pretty we're pretty well versed in this world. We are pretty aware of when they're following you because usually there's a black like full drive suv like following you behind.
But make it sound like such an American movie.
By snipers, but they're in little like yonda totally. But usually usually you can tell when someone's following the car basically is what I'm getting at. But we've been down in Mollymook for a few days and we had not seen a single path, so we really felt like we were in the all clear. Our wedding was at Cupert's estate. It's a it's a really private little venue. It's a winery that you have to drive down a long driveway to and there's one single car park.
Yes, except though it's it's surrounded by another property bush trees, so you could you could just trespass into someone else's farm and still have a line of sight to the wedding.
Yeah, and we had a security guard there and mind you.
Let's call him Glenn. The security guard.
Glenn was great. Shout out to Glen. There's a really awesome paparazzi photo. Maybe we'll put it up on Instagram. On Life on cart podcast, it features Glenn. There's a photo of our wedding and it's of the security guard watching the wedding, not actually security.
He was just watching the moment, champagne in hand. He was throwing rose petals. But the reception was like and he's like, this.
Is beautiful as he's eating the cake. Basically, there was a paparazzi hiding in the bushes so where Matt got ready, there's these ten little villas, like ten little houses on the site on the property. A paparazzi had set themselves up in the bush and was not only were they getting telescope, they had a telescopic lens, so they were getting photos that made it look like they were a guest at the wedding. That's how close the photo second road, it looked like they had a front row seat. They
were hiding in the bush somewhere. But because it was over a PA system, they were also able to record our entire wedding. So they recorded our entire wedding vowels and posted it on the fucking Daily Mail, which.
Is okay, it's one thing, and it's not okay. It's one thing to publish photos, right, Like there's a level of and it shouldn't be. There's a level of expectation that like, oh fuck, the paparazzi got it, damn. But it is a whole nother kettle of fish to go and publish someone's vowels. That a very private moment that you guys have literally just had. You were still you're still at your wedding when your vows are published. I cannot imagine.
Yeah, but you know what, I'm thankful that maybe it was just the fact that obviously everyone is in the moment during the ceremony, no one scanning the property looking elsewhere. But I was really glad that we didn't see him. I was glad that he was slightly hidden, because if in that moment, if we'd been exchanging our vows and we looked over and there was a pap in the car park, that would have sucked so much. So I was thankful that we didn't notice him at all until we saw the photos come out.
Yeah, you're so right. And I think by the time we saw the Daily Mail article, it was like seven pm at night. We were already well into the wedding, like the ceremony was over, we were like partying in the reception. We both very much made the decision that we weren't going to allow it to affect at night, because by then they were long gone. They were long gone.
No, it's funny because a lot of people at the wedding knew that had happened, right because someone had sent the article being like, can you believe this is already out? Blah blah blah, and then all of us went into like this full commando mode. So we thought everyone at the wedding was like, we cannot let Matt Laura know this on any certainstent. Anytime we saw a phone anywhere near someone. Someone was like, come here rolling grabbing it
out of your guys hands. They're like, let's go dance because no one wanted you guys to get distracted and to know. But I mean it came out. But I thought about this. I mean I did say to you. I said, I'm gonna put my life on it. There'll be paparazzi there and you guys are like, they're not going to follow us, and I said, they will find a way. This is gonna be like you guys might not think about it, but it's one of the weddings of the year here in Australia.
It is what I can't I agree.
I know, I know, but no I know, but it is people of the century. Where are you going with this? That's so unlike Maddy j B humble since the Royals. No, but do you know what it made me think about? It was William and Kate and then Laura and Matt Yes close second what it made me think about is I reckon, I know what they did.
When I was on the Bachelor finale in Port mcquarie, not the finale, sorry, the hometowns. That was like, wow, there really was budget cuts that year was that was was tight because of Cummings. The paparazzi came to my parents' house. My parents told me so they didn't know the paparazzi, that someone knocked on the door. My mum and dad opened the door knowing that the hometown visits were coming up, and a man was at the door and said to them, Oh, I'm here with Channel ten. We are just doing some
background checks, looking at scoping out the place. Did they decide that this is where it was or did they go with the other place. Yes, and my parents were like, no, We've gone over to this place and like great, and I just need to confirm your dress. We're gonna get the canine and stuff. My parents told them everything the day, the location because.
They didn't know, because it's so evil and.
It's so easy for them right to be like, okay, let's pick some wedding venues. Someone sits down for a day. Let's pick some locations that's within a drive. Maybe it's north, maybe south. The main wedding places they just call up. They're like, hey, we're looking for mister Johnson.
We've got to send some flowers whatever.
It's very easy to try and find this information if somebody really wants it.
Well, I reckon, And this is me starting to sound like I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist, you know, like everyone put the ol foil hats on whilst we talk about this. But I reckon, you can buy you can buy really cheap little tracking device.
Oh yeah, tracking because time is.
Money, right, They really don't have time to call around every single venue because there's just so many it could be.
And it's not that many celebrities in Australia they got the time.
I reckon they would put a tracking device on the car. And I know I'm not saying that.
We're not accusing them that they did this, but this is what we think happens because it does.
Yeah, because it would just be a fool proof way of knowing exactly where we're going to bed got a.
High car, you should have or you should have got someone to drive the car the other direction, like paid someone.
Who has time for that.
Brit Yeah, it was one of those things where like I mean, it was a shame that paparazzi photos and having people who were not invited hiding at our wedding kind of like cast a bit of a cloud, but also a guest sold our wedding photos.
Yeah, I was like, where's my.
Okay, so we've got some questions that the listeners have written in the listeners our life on cut family, people that are invested in your love life. Let's go through some bridesmaids, groomsmen. Now, the Daily Mail made it very obvious that I was not one. That was their headline.
No, but you were the signer of my wedding certificate and it is there for the rest of my life forever.
You were the reason didn't you do a little x X?
Yeah I did, I had, I lost some songs. You were the reason that our wedding certificate has been signed. No, it's void and nully like you're not even married. Okay. Firstly, it's a weird question to be asked by random people when they're like, why isn't brittany one of your bridesmaids? Totally? That question wasn't just about me.
That was like, let's talk about your groomsmen and bridesmaids totally, but also Britan.
Let's talk about firstly, you know how much I love you and absolutely adore you. That was never the question I know that I never would have asked the question. I'm doing this for the people. My four bridesmaids were my sister and then three girlfriends who I've been friends with for decades, And the reason for that is because I was their maid of honor. So I was made of honor for each one of them, for my sister, for Sarah, for Kaya, and for Lauren. And I found
that whole process really stressful. Like, I like.
Your top friends of mine?
It is, and like, you know how you used to movie your friends around on my Space and add change songs and stuff.
Laura didn't have my Space. I don't know. Oh my god, you had a top friends list every day.
Isn't it like MySpace?
It is like my space. Yeah, you had a top friends list. No, but you're in my top friends with That's a horrible thing to say. I like, these are my top friends and everyone else is below that.
The only reason we're having this conversation now, this isn't Laura and I explaining this to each other. We know what this is. We know how much we love each other. It did not bother me, and I knew it wouldn't. And the only reason we're having these conversation is because a lot of people wrote in the question, so we're just giving you the space to explain why you hate me so much.
The people we love the most had very important jobs in the day, and that's what we wanted to make sure. So we had one of our girlfriends was the mc britt you were signing the wedding certificate? Ed who is Matt's best friend from overseas? He also was signing the wedding certificate. And then I had my long term girlfriends as my bridesmaids. I think like we wanted to make sure that the people that we loved the most had a role in the wedding. Also, who did you want
to sit next to it the way? Was it two people you didn't know? Or miss Churr and Keisha?
Oh?
I had a guy mate we were on the he was also on the singles table. Ask her how the night went. What's happening bringing for you on the singles table? Was it good? I had one sneaky little kiss? Oh god, she said it were the kids on the signals table? Did I have a choice? No? No, there wasn't a kiss. Keisha kiss one too. There's two kisses. There was just a little kiss, kiss.
No more, and can I just say welcome to the family.
Awkward and now that the drinks are not on board, he looks way too much like.
You a bit young?
Okay, shut out to my cousin.
I love you, buddy so much for keeping this one a secret. I mean like it was a little tiniest smooch. That's it was a tongue in there, just like it was just like, okay, yeah, he will hate that. Kisha made out with your friend dropping on each other. I'm like, Kisha made out.
With your friends. Keisha had a sneaky kiss too, she did. Yeah, kicking in the family.
Here are we actually just quickly talking about kissing? Very surprised? Can I just say that, Laura. When we went for our kiss after we'd been pronounced husband and wife, she went for tongue.
I slipped a tongue here, Laura went. I thought the leg was gonna cock up. There was there was a moment I was like, is this when we consummate the marriage needs to turn away?
She started rubbing my genitals and I was like, Laura, I did not.
You did you were I have a night away from the kids. I was well and truly arrested. I was like, oh, maybe now it's the good And I was like, Laura, what are you doing? Boy? Yoursm that's our new king. We like to have sex in front of people. Did you consumate? Did you consumate? Did you consummate the marriage that.
Was close enough?
Did you have sex? Did she get down and freaking horizontal and of love? I was so tied after about it. No, you, that's not even true, I said. I said, should we go downstairs? A lot of people way too soupy after all that dance floor. No, So we had a whole lot of people come back to our We had two rooms at banisters upstairs at the penthouse, it was three bedrooms.
We had about ten people come back there for a little kick on, and then we were trying to get you to come back there because the guy that he kissed was there and anyway, he was very disappointed you didn't come back for the after party. But we also had a room downstairs. So come about one o'clock in the morning, I said to Matt, like, let's just go downstairs. Let's get to bed.
You were like, I'm going to bed. You can stay up here and have hum more drinks.
And that was a test and you passed. The testing starts early. So I was thinking, maybe we'll go downstairs and you know, get to fourth base. No one listens what you're doing, but she's doing the I was doing a finger in the hole I was. I was I was re enacting the sexy times.
You know, I'm not very good at having sex when I'm drunk.
Drunk, and time you were like, we got downstairs and you were like, it is absolutely not happening. Did you do it or not? So then the next day this is how romantic Matt is. So the next day I was like, oh, maybe today will be the day that we consummate the marriage. But we also had a recovery like event on so we.
Did it like a long day.
Yeah, it was a long day drinking. We hired out a beautiful house. It was a big day. We ended up at the RSL club with the kids.
Like.
It was not a relaxing day. And then at the end of that I was like, oh maybe now, and that was like, ab absolutely not. He's like, I couldn't This is what he said. I couldn't think of anything worse.
I didn't say.
I couldn't think of anything worse than having sex with my new wife. Did I say, yeah, you said I couldn't think of anything worse. And I was like, oh, that's you showered.
Yeah, that's the reason.
Well that's probably why. Anyway, we got home, I had a shower, We got into bed. It was like eleven o'clock at night. And what did you think you were doing? All of a sudden you come in for a little cuddle. You let just go with it. See what happens esther Ester Perrell style? Did you say, just go with it?
Daddy got hungry?
Anyway? Oh that was so what was that? I don't know what hungry? Just go with it?
That's my four play voice.
And and yeah, mummy served him dinner.
So this is quite possibly the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my line.
He just signed five. That was great. Yeah, so we had sex. Missionary was a missionary?
Oh yeah, come on, it was.
It was maybe to read another style in there, maybe it's usually missionary to dog.
It was all missionary, but there.
Are not that talkie style. We had a bit of there.
No, there was no Yes, it was actually it was it.
Was even less it was on the side.
It was like that was it?
Okay, So is there a rule because this is two days later?
Is there some kind of like wizardry sexy time consummate a marriage rule that it has to be within like the night or twenty four hours or can you just do.
All is in the wedding is now because you've done it two days later? Is that is null now?
Legally it means that the whole marriage is now void.
It's a sham.
Yeah, so we have to go and do it al.
Yeah, okay, So I don't think you do it annulmen. I think your marriage is just ann old. I think it just means it was void. I don't think you haven't and get it. You need to secure it. You didn't secure the goods. That's a shame to take them. Ring my bank account says that we definitely can't do it again. But yeah, look we did it. We did the sexy times we've done it. We've actually did another time since then,
which is great for us. We're on a real role And yeah, I hope that everyone feels better for knowing that.
Look at us, look at us having sexis and married couple.
Not me.
I guess that's how you know you're married, right, because you do it once.
It's a very different when you have two kids. Like we know, like for a lot of people listening to this, they probably were in honeymoon wedded bliss. Like we've been together for five and a half years. We have two babies. Those babies don't just go away because we got married, Like, they're still in our house and with us all the time.
We still own them. We still have to have sex around the schedule that is having two children, and that's something that's not the sexiest thing to try and navigate, all right. A big one was money. Believe it or not, did you go over budget? Obviously?
Weddings are very expensive and they all I feel like they always add up and there's always more than what you think and what you budget.
I think there's this misconception when people who are in the public eye get married that they get it all for free. I think that that's what people think, or that we might have gotten big discounts on stuff. Maybe some people do, but that was not the case. It was really not the case for us.
Like we everyone's so busy in the wedding industry now that no one needs to offer discounts because it's.
Just a backlog of years. But also on top of that, not just no one needs to offer discounts. It makes your wedding transactional. It means that you have to spend your day worrying about getting content. It makes your wedding, which is a really super and special personal moment, it makes it about supplying content to providers. And I think for me, like we have definitely we have done so much on Instagram saying like this is who to our flowers, this is who to our dress, this is who did
a catering our venue, whatever. But that's not because those things were for free. It's because we had such a beautiful time with such incredible small businesses and small venues who did truly incredible job, like they went above and beyond our flowers were phenomenal, very good. And so we're like, it's such a privilege to be able to push business towards people who we know are doing a great job.
Like the band for example, amazing. I'm so happy because they've piece band, seven piece band. There was so stokes. I've had so many people hit them up with requests that they're like absolutely, especially after such a long time of having no business at all, and like they totally deserve it, and.
It's such a privilege, just such a privilege to be able to be in a position where we have a huge platform and can also genuinely say like, these providers are great.
But you know, I did have the thought this is maybe the week before the wedding where you know, I question like, is this all fucking Oh my god?
A look at how much money wise?
You mean, yeah, I looked at how much was spending over and it gets to that point where it's, you know, a week two weeks out, we're like, oh, we'll just put that a little bit more and we'll get like prosecco included in the drink package and we'll pay just a little bit more and we can get this, and all these little everything just creeps up a little bit more, and I should we have just done like a really
small fourteen twenty people just like family, nothing? But should we have just done that considering that we want to try and save as much money as we can. And then afterwards, I'm so happy that we didn't go down that route. I'm so glad that we did have eighty odd people there in attendance, because it's that one the one time in our lifetime hopefully.
There was eighty seven. I don't say hopefully like we're getting divorced and you've already got a backup. We didn't got to say it's the.
One day, the one time that I'll only ever do that.
Thank you. I'm also my bank account is telling me that's the one and only time I'm ever going to do that. But one thing, Matt, we did a speech together at the wedding. It was very chaotic because it was not planned, but one thing you said, and I
really loved it, and I think it's so important. We did for a little while there think oh God, maybe we'll elope, or maybe we'll just make it small, like I genuinely had always thought that I would probably alope for my wedding because I never saw myself in the big dress and the big wedding, which funnily enough, is exactly what we ended up doing exactly. But we have a really good friend, Ben Cush, and Matt mentioned him at the wedding, and what he mentioned was I went
to Ben's wedding, Ben and Lauren. I was the maid of honor there. Lauren was one of my bridesmaids. And it was a really beautiful, small, tiny wedding, and Push was quite strict in limiting the numbers he wanted. He was like, I'm only having these people, and you know, we're going to keep it as small as possible. And it was exactly that, and it was a beautiful, beautiful day.
But since then, some really important people in his life have passed away, and I think it was in those moments that he realized that you don't get to have those same people in a room together, Like we're never going to have those eighty seven people who we love and adore in the same room ever again. And it's such a privilege to be able to celebrate something so special with the people that you love. It's just a once in a lifetime thing to do. And that's what I loved about it.
So off the back of that, is there anything you change, no looking back, because for our.
Guest, as a guest, it was so much fun.
We didn't get off the dance floor. The food was incredible, the music was incredible, everything for us, except I didn't get to eat any cake.
I'm mad about it.
Me did I actually neither did I.
I didn't even taste my own wedding cake. Did you do you have it? Did they give it? What do you mean?
We went back to pick up some items the next not on the a few days afterwards that we left behind at the venue, and then they even said we'll put it in a little takeaway box for you, and then we forgot to get that.
So we forgot.
We forgot to get it. So I would I would definitely go back and I would have some wedding cake because it looked unbelievable. What flavor was it? Again?
I told her to surprise us, so I didn't even know the flavor of the gh My god, I just feel like we really missed it. We missed out. But I know a lot of our guests did eat it and said it was amazing, So I'm glad that that someone got to enjoy it. Yeah, by all reports, was incredible.
I just kept trying to go get it, but then a good the band was too good that I'd walk off the dance for I was like, I've got to sing band or my cousin, No, not your partner.
The band. The band was honestly like having a lit dance floor is the best thing ever. We looked like a bunch of uncle ordinated people, like crumping on down on the dance floor. But it was so much fun.
But one thing I would definitely change is I would have got the wedding planner sooner, because the only thing that was and it wasn't massive, but still the morning of there were so many moving parts in my head. I was I got ready at the venue that I was talking to the florist, and then the furniture riderms were coming and I was still planning. I was in work mode, you know, I was worrying about things that weren't quite right, and you know, can we change this
and move that? And then the limo driver went to the wrong location to pick up Laura.
So I walked out in my wedding dress like expecting the limo to be waiting to pick me up. And I was like, I'm already right on time, and the limo wasn't there. He was at the wrong banister's hotel. Oh he went one. He was anster's pavilion, had been waiting there for half an hour, and then he had to come around and pick us up from banisters by the sea. So like, there were small things that went wrong, but I also think those small things are all pretty inconsequential.
Things are only a problem if they are a problem to you and if you get fixated on them. And we just kind of like whatever. Everything was exactly as it was, and it was.
Perfect easy for Laura to say that, as someone who didn't plan.
Anything seamless, it was great.
Okay, you know. One of the thing I would change though, as well, is interested to see if you agree with this, the tradition of throwing the bouquet.
I could have gone, I could have left. I wanted to bury my dig a hole lane and.
Put the.
Get in the middle.
I have never been more there was this moment.
I actually spoke about it on radio on Kyle and Jack this week, about this idea of this bouquet throwing and how everyone says been single at the wedding.
Is the best. It's like, you know, there's some other single people.
There is your time to meet people and hook up, and that's all well and good. When there's a bunch of other single people there, Laura burn walks out into the made a Pig song and dance about it bouquet.
Everyone's like, well, gather around.
The whole wedding gathers around and she's like, it's time to throw the boquet.
All the single bit is literally She's little City. I make me literally. I had four drinks the entire night, will at all on a high on my love.
The vibe was Lady City, like the level of excitement that you had an enthusiasm for this moment. You were like everyone, all you, oh you singles on the dance floor.
There were crickets, cricket, and then I was like, I haven't stopped the band. I was like, back.
Away, slowly, Brittany, and I'm backed away to the bar and then I was like sync to the ground.
Chicken wing Brittany on the dance floor being like, you will catch this bouquet.
Okay. In my defense, in my defense, it's not just single people. What I was trying to get on the dance floor and to do the bouquet throwing, I actually wasn't trying to do it for you. I was trying to get my step brother Chris and his partner Brock. They've been together for over a decade and he hasn't proposed yet, and Brock desperately wants to get married. I was trying to get Brock on the dance floor. It was all around.
For Brock. So why were you on the mic Britney.
Literally multiple times, Brittany, and I was like, it's okay, you guys do it, And you were like, get on the dance floor. There was not Brock it with three rocks. No, you were not rock. There were three people. And I was like, I have fought to the death once on the Bachelor. I will not fight again on the death for a bouquet.
You know that someone's not enthusiastic about getting into a relationship when they just stand there and the bouquet flies and lands on the ground. I matrixed it.
It was coming from my head and I was like, did that backwards matrix things?
It passed straight by me. It was wild. But honestly, I mean, look, sorry that I did that to you, britt But I feel like I had so many expectations around what the wedding was going to be, and so many people had said to me that it's going to be so fun, You're gonna have the best day of blah blah blah. Where's this going? Is she about to say? It wasn't. No. What I was going to say is I always thought it would get fun about. I always thought it would get fun once the reception had started.
What I didn't expect is for literally, from the minute I walked down the aisle and I saw everyone's faces, it was the best day of my life. Like it was so much fun. Oh, you were manic.
You looked like a crazy person because you were so deliriously happy. So I go too wide, like I had a tab of asset.
It was crazy, but you did.
You got out of the limo when it finally came, and you just both of you didn't have a smile. You didn't wipe the smile if your face the whole time, and it was beautiful to see.
Can I say one more thing? Sure, we were talking about this last night. Most people get like a beautiful car to the ceremony, which we did a limo. What was your favorite part of leaving the ceremony? Matt the wedding reception.
I can't remember his name, but he was a lovely cab driver.
We just called like one three one yellow cabs. So you got a cab back to the hotel. Well, the paparasa you gone by, now, no one cares.
That that way, yea, And I was trying to figureut where my suit jacket was.
It was a bit of a mess at the end, Like everything else was so lovely. Everyone went home on buses and stuff, and there we were. I thought there was a car waiting for us, but it was a car. Well there was.
There was this big discussion, right. I don't know if you guys know about it, but everyone's in the car park leaving.
Everyone's like, where we're going? It's your enough party?
And half the people were like, no one had said to me what was happening right. Half the people were like, oh, yes, we're going back to Matt and Lawis. And I was like, oh, guys, I think you need to let them go and have sex.
I was like, don't think no, I had told you to your face. I literally had said to your face, come back to ours.
Yeah.
I missed that part I I was trying to tell people. I was like, let them. You aren't inviting people to the idea party that I had invited them to. I was like, let them have sex. I think they would have sex. They're like, well, I think they I think they told us to come. And I was like, no, they would have sax. That is why no one fucking showed up because told them not to come. She didn't do it wasn't just me. She was like, let them have sex. They only get like once in a blue moon. Well,
I'm glad we did it. Maybe we'll do it tonight, Matt. Well, guys, a big, big fat congratulations to you both.
You finally married. You are the fairy tale. You are the bachelor. You know, there's been a few bachelor love stories, but I think, and I might be biased, I think you're one of the best bachelor love story.
What do you mean, one of the best.
There's only five. So when you say like you're one of the best, it's not even five. Who is there? Sam and Snares, Georgia and Lee, Tim and Anna, Tim and Anna, Jimmy and Holly, Jimmy and hollyeen Holy, Irena and Lockie like heaps. So when you say we're one of the best, there's only six of them. Yeah, but there's still a lot.
But what I mean is like, according to a New Idea, they did an article last year that we were awarded the number one spot.
You sound like you're being serious, but it's very facetious.
I hope people can take the strong tone of sarcasm in my voice right now.
My point is when you stop and think about it like that, A one, it's wild that the Bachelor does work, and there has been so many success stories, but too you've it's wild to think that you guys have created your dream life off the back of the reality TV show six years ago.
Like that is pretty Thank you so much, And now if you can put your nipples back in your top, I'd really appreciate that.
People don't think I'm insane. It's not a big one. But I would also like to just say thank you to Water Brothers for making this possible. This is not sponsored, they haven't paid anything, but I'm on the challenge tonight.
Bye.
All right, guys, you know that we never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet, our highlight and our low light of each and every week. Brittany, you can go first. I think it's pretty fucking damn obvious what my sweet is?
Okay, so my suck, yeah, you'll see, very very you had a great week, you had a great sport night.
It's been a very very good week. I mean, my suck could be my bank account. Why it's like just weeping now, my sad sad bank account.
Okay, So my suck this week would be it's two things joined into one, right, and it's all around coffee.
I had a bad coffee week. My coffee machine broke.
So I've been on the morning show, as you know, Kyle and Jack and so these are four ams I'm getting up. So I've been making coffees at home. My coffee is, where do you get a coffee at four am?
You know you don't. My coffee machine broke, So this was a disastrous start.
So then I got to work and then I went and got a coffee, stopped on the way, got the coffee, and I was so tired that as I got back into the car with my coffee, I put on my roof to get my key out and then I just drove off. So A I broke my coffee machine. B I left my coffee that I just bought to replace the one on the roof, and it just flapped off and it was dead.
I feel like people would have some pretty good stories about shit they've left on the roof. You have left so much shit on your car roof every week? Insane. Every week, It's like my hobby I always because as
I'm getting the kids into the car. I always put things on the roof and then drive away, and sometimes you hear the like of it rolling down the roof, and other times you just don't, and then you figure it out a day later that you left your wallet with four hundred dollars in it on the roof of your car and it's gone down the middle of a freeway.
Didn't you leave something really important on a roof and it was still there like a week later.
Have I made that story out? No, you have not made it up. But it's one that I said we would never tell that story. Okay, there was something important Laura left.
I don't even remember what it was, but I remember you just saying wildly a week Yeah, we found it stuck in past.
Yeah, it was something very very important that we'll never talk about. And it was stuck in the what are they called in the roof racks?
Oh yeah, okay, we won't go there. Okay, what was your sweet my sweets are ti? I didn't get married this week, so I can't have that, but we did. We won listen to his podcast obviously.
That's just amazing.
And I had my first full week on Breakfast radio with Kyle, and it's.
Just such a big learning curve. It's very different. It's such a big show.
They have such an amazing team, they have this whole team that's just it's just such a well oiled machine. And I'm learning a ridiculous amount very fast, and it's really put me outside my comfort zone. It's really challenged me, and I'm just having a really great time with it.
So that's got to be one of my sweets. I feel like as well, being able to like i mean apart from the mornings and the early mornings, but like the being on for live radio is very different to how we do podcasting because we can you know, stop, start, we can like think about it, we can flash it out. We've got low time to think. But also it's like long form content, you know, we have time to have these really nuanced conversations, whereas radio is fast paced and
it's such like a different thing to be doing. And with Kyle, you don't know what is going to come. You don't know what he's going to.
Throw at you, how many times he's gonna throw under bus, what he's going to put you on the spot with, so like reaction time, you don't get time to think, so it's it's wild.
How do you with him being mean to you from occasion, because I mean, yeah, like, there's definitely been some things that I've heard where I'm like, it's fucking me.
Kyle's an unusual character because he's definitely he'll probably hate me saying this. He's definitely has two sides, and I guess you don't see those sides unless you do spend time with him personally.
But he's he's gonna hate this. He's like a big, soft teddy bear.
And I know that's hard to believe because of the persona he does put out.
But part of Kyle's I guess, building up your thick skin and getting you ready for anything.
And I don't know if it's if it works, but part of it is to give you shit and put shit on you.
And he'll put it on me.
And I'm doing really well at holding my own and defending it, and I give it back to him now. And we do have that relationship where I realize now that I can be a bit more fisy, and I think that's what he wants. I think he just wants a reaction from me. But then in the downtime and in the off time, he's always checking in. He's always like, you're all right, I don't mind me saying that. Do
you like giving your heart? You know, there's always this checking in, making sure everything's cool, and like figuring out with the line is figuring out where line is, and that's what the guy's paid for. He's a shock jock. He's been a shock jock for twenty years. It is what it is.
But I feel good that I'm getting to.
Bring parts to that segment, Like I got to bring a really big part this week on what's happening in Iran. The masa Amini protests that we spoke about in the podcast a little while ago. It's escalated a lot with what's happening over there, and that's probably not something that would normally cover. The team told me they wouldn't usually cover that in the mornings, but it was really important to me, So they said, do you know what you are the host now? If you want to talk about
that will make it happen. And they gave me a space to talk about something I thought was important that even though they wouldn't usually talk about it in that timeframe or in that space so they are meeting me halfway, and I think if I can go onto a platform like that and make some sort of a difference and talk about things I'm passionate about, as well as all the shit, the funny stuff, you know, because it's supposed
to be lighthearted radio totally. But they're meeting me in the middle a bit, and I think that's really cool.
And also like you can't go into that environment and all of a sudden have guns blazing and be like this is what we're going to talk about. You know, you kind of have to. You've got to do the dance, You've got to play the game. I'm in their world, baby, this is me in their world, all right. Well, my sweet for the week is very obvious. I got married, we won the Podcast Awards, Forever grateful have had honestly
the week of my life. And my suck for the week is something that I guess I kind of always knew it was gonna happen, but it got so fucking trash. My dress, it is so dirty. It's unbelievable how trash the bottom of it got. And to think that you go through all this process, like this beautiful dress is made just for this one day. To then see it after that one day with how much dirt and crap is just I was like, this is never gonna If the dry cleaners can get this out, it will be
truly remarkable. Well, I think most people's dress and stuff like that, right, I think it's even a sign of a good wedding. But is it weird that that's the thing that that's just happens that you spend all this money, that you get this amazing dress and then it gets absolutely effing trashed and you're like, oh, okay, signs of a good night? So will you keep that dress? Will you sell it? What we do with it? So I had a like a specialty dry cleaner come and pick
it up. They have taken it away. They're gonna try and clean it. Obviously they do the best they can, and then they'll box it up and keep it in like a preservation box. So then maybe the girls can have it. I don't know they will. Imagine, nobody wears it. It's never in fashion. Like they're gonna get it in like what twenty years time and we'll like it, you know, yeah, how longa twenty five years time? And they're all thirty
years time, and they're not gonna like it. They're gonna be like, oh, my mom's giving me this ugly old dress. You know.
Yeah, but that stuff comes back in right, it goes. There's a period of like twenty years where it won't be cool, and then all come back into fashion.
I don't know. I saw my mum's wedding dress. That's never come back in fashion.
My mom's I'll show you it. She had like white fur on it and everything she had first leaves. Actually that is in fashion now, all these dresses with the big fluffy sleeves.
When your dresses back, they're gonna go mum or ready for when you get married? Where what twenty fifty fifty time? Alright, guys, that is it from us. We hope that you enjoyed the episode. We hope that you enjoyed a little insight into what was the wedding week of my life.
I thank you for sharing that with us because it is your special day and you guys know the drill turn you mum, tell your untelld on to your.
Friends and share the love. Because we're Lola.
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