Dating a Narcissist

just the way you like it. And we do have a big one to unpack today, but we're not going to get in there yet. Let's unpack our life, Laura. Can we keep talking about meeting and getting in there? That gets you going, doesn't it. It's the little things these days, isn't it. Oh? Well, yeah, the small thrills, the cheap thrills. Anyway, what have you been doing in

the last forty eight hours? So I a couple of weeks ago, I was telling you guys about how I was really really anxious about getting Mally into daycare, and today we had orientation. She's in my wild anxiety has not subsided at all. I spent the whole time, one hour of orientation, and this lovely lady was trying to like talk me through like the day and what they do and what they eat and all this stuff, and all my brain was doing was looking at small things

on the ground, being like, that's a choking hazard. That right there is a joking hazard. That boy's got her eye on her, that's a choking hazard. Why has that kid got an ice back on his head? What did he run into? What happened to you? She's definitely gonna run into something. She's gonna fall over, she's gonna have scratches, and you can stop. That doesn't make me feel any better, but it should, because this is life. You're gonna get knocked down. She's gonna want to get back up real quick.

This is how you teach your kids a bit of resilience. And I think that this is going to probably teach me a bit of resilience as well. I think this is going to be a really hard time for you at the start, and then I think you're gonna love it. I think you're not gonna know yourself having all this extra time. You're gonna love that. She's socializing and she's gonna make little friends. She's gonna have an amazing time.

So she starts next week, and I figure by about the three or four week mark, I'll probably just drop her off in the morning and forget that I even put her there. Yeah, you went back a week later and pick her up. Yeah you don't even know who she is. Yeah, she's got a boyfriend, a tattoo, and she's moving out on Friday. You be back home drinking margaritas. Tell me how your day has been. I've seen you. I mean I haven't seen you for a whole twelve hours, So it's been a long twelve hours. My day. I

had the day at the hospital. I went to a fancy pants lunch for an hour and it was brilliant. Then I just came home and worked got ghost to buy guy I was seeing. But we're not going to talk about that. Actually we are going to talk about that. Last week Brittany had a boyfriend and this week he's gone missing. She uses that term loosely. I was going on some dates with a guy, but he has dis Should we start putting out the missing person poster? At

what point? Like, how many days can you go without hearing from a guy before you have been categorically ghosted. Where does it? Where does it? I don't know. I think it depends on how it ended. But I also have a message team. Since it's been like four days, just adding another one to the list. Single and you're thirty guys, If you haven't listened to that episode yet, we highly recommend get on it. It's a bloody battleground out there. But you know what this behavior has been.

I think we like to kind of pretend like it's new age, like that the ghosting is a new thing. Ghosting has been around for forever except forever. Except back in the day. It probably it would happen in like a less significant way, like obviously if someone didn't call your landline again, they were gone. You didn't know what happened to them. The problem with ghosting now is that

you can check up on them on social media. You can check up on them and see what they're doing, so you can be like, oh, well, I know you're not dead. But back in the day, you just wouldn't hear from them, and you'd be like, oh, they've been abducted by aliens. Anal probing. It's the only thing that makes sense. Anal property he'll prove it. It's not the only thing that makes sense, but I love that that's the conclusion you've gone to. Naturally, no look in all honesty.

I could have also contacted him. We both went away for the week, we saw each other before the weekend, we went away for the weekend. Neither of us have contact each other. So I'm probably as bad as him. But I did send the last text, so that makes me feel better. It's also still early days, like you could probably will hear from him again. But my question, my other question is I have a few questions and

feelings about this. We love. That is how many days can pass before you get that hey, how you been text And it be okay if you haven't seen it or heard from him for like six months and he's like, hey, sup, what have you been doing? Or is it like a week like where's that line in the sand where you're like, oh, okay, well we were texting every day and now I haven't heard from you for two weeks. Now after two weeks, I'm like, hey, babe, who di is? That's my response? Sorry,

I've got a new number. Hey Bay, Sorry I deleted my context? Who is this? I know? Do you want to know another thing. I've started my half marathon training. I went for what my first run. I was like, you know what, you wake up those days, actually you might not know. You wake up those days you feel extra motivated. You're like, I'm gonna go and slay the fitness world. Yeah. No, I can't relate. But that's okay, Okay, so that's the that's I don't like running, but I'm

doing this half marathon. So I was like, I woke up and I was like, this is the day. I'm on it. I had a fake tan on, so I felt good. I put my shorts on, put my runners on. Don't laugh. Fake tan makes everything better. And I was like, I'm gonna go and start training. I went on this one run, pulled my muscle and had to like limp back. I was like, this is disaster. Contrary to popular belief,

fake tan does not make you run fast. That no, So let's get into an accidentally unfiltered All right, guys, Well, it is time for our favorite part of the episode, and that is when you send in your most embarrassing stories and we all laugh at you together like the beautiful, wonderful, heartfelt community that we are kick it off. I was so deep, deep like a puddle. Guys. All right, So I just started a new job and my boss is freaking hot. I'm talking like ten out of ten and

crash your scooter type hoot. To anyone who listened to the episode a few weeks ago, you would get that reference. That was the guy that ghosted me. After working in a female dominated industry for the last few years, you can imagine my excitement at this. So of course I told all of my friends about my new boss day in COVID fashion, I had to do all my training online, meaning zoom calls with the man himself. Day one on the job and I had my first zoom meeting with him.

I was having some technical difficulties, so I shared my screen so that he could see what I was doing on my computer, and, to my absolute fucking horror, minutes into sharing my screen, a notification popped up front and center from my best friends saying, hey, babe, so when's the call start with your future hottie hobby. Aha. I tried to hide it as quickly as I could, being

the absolute ten out of ten that he years. He acted like he didn't see anything but that didn't stop me from going bright red and him also laughing for the rest of the meeting. I'm planning your funeral now. I just love this. Do you know how many stories I have now heard about people sharing their screen and having like super inappropriate tabs open. I have heard no stories, but I love this so much. I was on a Zoom meeting just recently. This is a totally different thing.

I was on a Zoom meeting recently, and I'm so convinced the person I was on a Zoom meeting with just farted and kept talking. They would have for sure so good they were, but also based in Melbourne, so it's totally excusable. All like sense of self has kind of gone out the window. Do you know, just because they're in Melbourne? Yeah, because you been in lockdown? Are you true? True? I mean we were only in lockdown for a few weeks and I had to train myself

not to far in public again. But I'm like a boss anyway. But no, So I've received messages that have come in. We've received messages that have come in which haven't been like full accidentally unfiltered stories, but people who have accidentally shared their screen with colleagues or bosses, and they've had like porn tabs or dildo or sex shops or things open as well. So I think that this

has happened more than once. I'm gonna tell you my accidentally Unfiltered that I'm bringing to the table today because it's fucking brilliant. I'm just gonna I'm just retelling the story, guys, because this lovely lady, she actually voicemailed in her story, so she DMed us with a voice memo on Instagram because she just thought it was so funny. So I'm just gonna retell you the story. Basically, she's seen this guy. She was super, super super into him. She thought he

was so hot. Now this woman does something that I used to do. You might remember when the way that accidentally unfiltered started. If you guys are an original listener, you'll know that it started because my sister and I do this thing where we send each other photos and videos of our day. We've logged to each other, and it's always ugly photos. We're always trying to out ugly each other, like in the most hideous costumes. I accidentally sent one of those to a guy I was seen

and that is how accidentally unfiltered it started. So fast forward a year. This girl's gone on this really hot date and she does the same thing with her best friend. They vlog their days to each other, which is very modern day. This is very gen y. Basically, like they take a little video like hey babe, like today, blah blah blah, and then they send it instead of having to have a phone call or instead of calling or texting, they just constantly take the video recording and send it

to each other. So she's got on this date with this guy who she thinks is fucking the ants pants. So she gets home, she puts on her big pink, ugly fluffy dressing gown. She's taken a makeup off, so she's got her hair and top not no makeup. When she got this big hideous, ugly, pink fluffy dressing gown, and she goes to town on the vlog to her friend saying how amazing the date was, how hot he was, how in love she is, how she thinks it's the

best thing ever. She goes on and on and on, and she makes a point of being really ugly in the video because that's what's funny with her friend and sends it to a friend and then goes, fuck, she sent it to the guy she's just been on the date with. Now this I know you think that this couldn't get better, but it does because she had just been on the date with him and she was like feeling him out. So she's like, so, like, you know, where do you see this going? Like what are you

looking for? And he goes definitely not looking for a relationship, looking something really casual. She's like, oh, totally like me too. I'm just like super casu as well gets home ten minutes later and vlogs him how we're getting married. I've already hit that they knew the date and the people who are doing the flowers. It's gonna beautiful. Keep the eleventh of November free. I actually I was dying, like I couldn't stop laughing, and my heart goes out to

a bit. She laughed it off. She was like, what do you do? Actually, what do you do? Nothing? You own it. The voice memo came through when Britt had come over to my house, so we both got to listen to this back together and simultaneously died on the couch for you you're out there you're listening, you know what. We might be laughing at you, but we're really laughing with you. But don't worry. I'm laughing so much because I've done exactly the same thing. So I feel for you,

but bless your soul. I hope you do marry him. I have another one. I know that, like we usually only do tit for tat, but I'm gonna check another one out here anyway, because this is like really innocent. I love her when people ride in there like, this is my friend's story, you know, as a girl. A friend of mine recently told me this story and I wanted to share it with you guys. So she was expecting her sister and little nephew to come for morning tea.

So when she heard the doorbell ring, she got super excited and she opened the door on her knees, expecting her little nephew, only to find that she was staring at crotch height to a delivery man. Now, what makes this thing worse is that she opened the door saying hello, little man with her arms out wide. I love he would have been like a bing go just staring straight at the guy's pain. Anyway, I am dead. I love

it a little man. I have one more too. We're not getting into the episode today, guys, I hope you enjoy this. Twenty five minutes of accidentally unfiltered stories and that's a wrap. This is one more. You know, I have a friend, I'm not gonna name his name, but I have a friend that's like a solid gamer. You know, a gamer that I don't know if you guys aren't into gaming. They wear their headphones, they play video games in their lund room, but they connect, they're talking live it.

Weireds me out. I once had to wear a virtual reality gaming mask. I didn't have to, but like I chose to, stating a guy who was wearing one and I and I put it on. But I didn't realize that you can do virtual reality porn, and so I looked down. They had a dick. Did you do virtual reality porn? How have you never told me this? Will we have a dating relationship sex podcasts? He was, yeah, it was a thing. We need to unpack this another day,

another episode. Continue with your story. This is this guy that's a gamer, right, He's got his headphones on, he's in his laund room. He's deep in this game and he's talking to like ten other people around the world because they're playing against each other, but they're all connected by microphone. His girlfriend comes in and she's frisky af so she's like, whoa, let's do this. He's like, boys, I am out, throws his mic and things down, logs off, and then they go to town having hardcore sex in

the lound room. Hardcore. He bought swings and wits and belts and stuff. Loud hard sex. Did not turn his microphone off. So the ten people around the world that his friends that he talks to order every day just all sat there listen having sex and they couldn't reach him. They were like yelling in the headphones, like like he could stop, and it's just they just went to town. That's a lot of trauma right there. That's a suppressed trauma that's gonna need to use the therapy. Thank god,

it wasn't video. It was just mike Like. That's that's something. If there's anything as as a plus you can take away from this is that it wasn't recorded. It was just sound and you can always mute that. Like, I mean, they were volunteering to listen to that. They didn't have to listen you would you did virtual reality porn sex. I never did the sex. I just like wore it and like we virtually did it. It's a whole point. You

have a penis. It's very strange. You're so every week there's something else that's weird U And I'm like, how have we gotten to this point of our relationship? And I don't know this. I'm just a bundle of surprises for you, Brittany, Like I put virtual reality on, but I was like running through a daisy field. Well, that just really shows the differences between you and me as a person, doesn't it. I think that that right there has just perfectly summed up our relationship. Drives it home,

doesn't it, Guys? Before we get into the full topic today, today we're talking about narcissistic personality disorder. We're also talking about just narcissism in general, and we're gonna unpack what this means, what it is, how do identify it, and also what you do if you find yourself in a relationship with some who is narcissistic and what you know, how do you deal if like you have a family

member or maybe a parent who's narcissistic. So we are going to be talking about this today, but obviously before we get into it, we know that this can be a really triggering subject matter and a really triggering experience for anybody who's actually survived a narcissistic relationship. We just

want to put that out there before we get started. Also, you know, if you haven't been through a narcissistic relationship at all, this is still going to be a great episode that will help you identify any red flag so that you know what to look for if you ever find yourself dealing with someone either in the workplace who's a narcissist. And I just think there's little bits that

we can all take from this episode. I'm really excited about this and the reason why I'm excited about this episode, which is a weird word to use, I know that, but I'm excited about this episode because some of you might know this if you've been following the podcast from the very very beginning, But basically, the reason why Life Uncut started was because Britta and I sat down for breakfast this one day and we barely barely knew each other, and we got chatting about why we did the show,

like how our ex relationships had kind of transpired. The two of us got talking about these really toxic relationships that we had both had. Britt has spoken very openly about hers on episode three, which is the sociopath episode, about how she dated someone for several years who had a completely double life, and I spoke really openly with Britt about my relationship with someone who had very severe

narcissistic tendencies. That was where life Uncut came from, because we sat down and we started having these conversations, and we knew that there would be other people out there who may have been in the exact same situation as us, have experienced us the same things, and would get something out of having these conversations on a more public platform. I do feel like it is really common for women to get together, and it seems to be the thing that bonds women. It seems to be the things that

they trauma, that yeah, that they relate to. I mean, if you guys, think about now, to yourself, anyone, any girlfriend you've ever sat down with, you will often talk about past relationships good and bad, but often you're bonding over you are I don't want to use the word trauma, but bad experiences, crazy things that have happened, funny things that have happened. You always bond over past experiences. We bonded over The Bachelor as a past experience, but that

wasn't what actually galvanized up. Yeah, that wasn't what cemented this relationship. It was like, what the fuck we've both been with these crazy people, Like the same thing happened to me, and this is how I felt this is And then we just got drawn into this this idea of like, there've got to be more people that have experienced this, and we want to talk about it and we want to help them. And so that's where the whole Life Uncut stemmed from. Today, Like Laura said, we

have put the trigger warning out. It's not gonna be for everyone. If you do think that this could affect you, for sure, tune now. We don't want we don't want this to bring up any bad feelings or things from the past that are going to affect you now. So that's out little warning for you. But we do really want to reiterate that we are not trained professionals, and everything we're speaking about in this episode is just a

discussion between two people that have experienced it themselves. So we're just two women that have been through this together. We've had the experiences ourselves. We have spoken to therapists about it, we've spoken to other people about it, We've done our own research past and present, so at the

time that we're experiencing it and now particularly for this episode. Yeah, and we did put it out on the Facebook group as well about you know, if you guys had any questions about dealing with people who are narcissists or dealing with a narcissist in your life, and there was some amazing questions that were put forward. I actually was so blown away by how many people have been affected by this.

There are some questions that we're going to answer to the best of our ability, the unqualified advice that you all come here for. And there are also some questions which I've kind of banked because we're going to get a clinical psychologist on the podcast to really unpack different

types of personality disorders. But what we wanted to start with with today and talking about narcissism, calling people a narcissist, this seems to be like a very on trend and fad driven thing at the moment where you know, you go through a bad relationship, there is some toxicity there, and the fallback word for labeling someone is to call them a narcissist or to say that they have narcissistic

personality disorder. But the reality is only one percent of the population These stats come from the Mayo Clinic online. One percent of population potentially has narcissistic personality disorder. It's an incredibly difficult mental illness to be able to actually diagnose because the problem is is that many people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder will never seek treatment and they are in absolute denial that they suffer from it.

So narcissistic personality disorder is the most extreme version of it, and it is a mental illness. Now, there are also people who are just your general, everyday narcissists. There's a love black boys, buck girls, and fuck people out there, but there's also just your general narcissists or people have who have very very high and strong narcissistic tendencies. It makes them a narcissist, but it doesn't mean that they

have narcissistic personality disorder. And I think it's really really important for us to distinguish that they are two very different things. And unless someone has been actually diagnosed with NPD. Then you can't diagnose a friend. You can't diagnose a boyfriend, and you can't diagnose a family member. All you can do is look at the facts and look at the information,

and then make the best decisions for yourself. If you think somebody is displaying narcissistic narcissistic traits, then it gives you the tools to be able to protect yourself as best you can. Before we get into it, I'm just going to give you a proper definition from the Mayor clinic. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders.

It's a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Now that's from the main of Clinting. That's actually an interesting sentence there where it says they actually have this fragile self esteem and they're quite they can be quite vulnerable. Because I think it's a common misconception that narcissists are always these super super high functioning, arrogant, overly confident, charismatic assholes. That is the term that a lot of people that is sort of what a lot of people imagine a narcissist to be. And I don't think there's a lot

of people realize that there can be these underlying confidence issues. Well, that also kind of brings us into the next part is the fact that there are many different types. There isn't just one sort of label that brands every single narcissist the same. They're a covert narcissists, which are also coined as being vulnerable narcissists, and then there are another thing called grandiose narcissus. Now, the thing that details and signifies NP is when somebody characterizes and displays both of

those personalities at the same time. So very few people are grandiose and also vulnerable narcissistic personality types at the very same time. So, just to kind of break those down a little bit, somebody who has a covert narcissistic tendency is somebody who is innately very very insecure, which is definitely not the most common one. I think it's

something that almost goes a little bit unspoken about. When people talk about narcissism, people genuinely talk about this person who has a really big ego and uses other people to feed that ego. So somebody who has covert or vulnerable narcissism. They are extremely sensitive to any type of criticism, to the point where it's almost as though anybody else's feelings about things are invalid and only their feelings are

what's most important. And it's kind of the mentality of like, well, I'm doing such a good job and nobody recognizes me, which is very different to a grandiose personality type, which is I'm doing a good job and everyone knows I'm doing a good job. They're the kind of two different types of narcissism that we're going to be talking about. Yeah, the thing with COVID narcissism is that they are really

highly sensitive, and they're highly sensitive to emotions. It's just that they're only sensitive to their own emotions, and I think that's the distinguishing feature. They're sensitive to emotions, not yours. They couldn't give a fuck about yours. It's literally, like, to put it simply, it's only things that are going to affect them that make them emotional. They don't have that connection when they see that you're upset. They see

that you're upset, but they don't care that you're upset. Yeah, and that's like the common theme throughout it, like dealing with somebody who's extremely narcissistic. There's this lack of empathy and this lack of really trying to understand and respect somebody else's feelings because they will always prioritize their own ego and their own feelings over the top of anything else.

And they're really driven by this idea of being superior, of being important, So they're usually attracted to quite high powered or jobs that sort of give them a lot of affirmation. And when I was doing some research, I kind of found this pretty funny. But obviously social media influencers are up there. Yeah, I mean that's yeah, that's why we're talking about it, guys, we identify I believe

that for sure. Yeah. So, I mean social media influencers they get a lot of their gratification and their validation from people who they don't know, and that kind of feeds into their narcissistic supply. That's not to say that all are by any means, but it definitely would attract people who have those tendencies as well, surgeons and people who work in like high powered medical industries, also politicians and business tycoons. So these are like the top listed

of professions that really attract narcissistic personality types. I think this is a really important time just to just to make note that there can be healthy narcissism every single person, like you just said, for example, social media influencers are on the list. For sure, there's a bunch that are narcissistic. But I think it's really interesting. When I was doing my research, I found that they literally say everybody in the world has some characteristics that are narcissistic, like we

are humans, and it's unavoidable. But according to what they call the DSM five, which is the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual, which is the go to manual, it's like the Bible. For this sort of stuff. To be clinically diagnosed with NPD narcissistic personality disorder, a person has to exhibit at least fifty five percent of the most common signs of narcissism. So, long story short, there's a list. There's nine things on the list nine traits, you have to have fifty five

percent of them to be diagnosed as a narcissist. But I can guarantee you if we read through them, which we will, there'll be one at least that everyone's gonna be like, oh yeah, if I'm being honest, like, I'm guilty of that absolutely. And I think that that's a really important thing to kind of spend some time on, is this fact that like, narcissism is not you're a narcissist,

You're not a narcissist. It's a spectrum and at the very far end of that spectrum is end and at the very end of that spectrum is at mpath and we all sit somewhere with on that spectrum of what a narcissist is. And I think that, you know, we can be very guilty, and people can be very guilty of pointing the finger and blame shifting and relationships, and it can be very easy to call someone a blanket narcissist, but maybe they've just behaved in a bit of a

selfish way. Really, But we'll quickly run through what those nine those kind of nine red flags are to look out for, and that the nine things that are what identifies someone as being narcissistic. I want to read them to you, and I want you to tell me if you think you take any of them. You don't even have to tell me which ones, but just make a note in your head, Okay, And you, guys, as I'm reading them, just make a note yourself if there's any that you think, oh, I'm a bit like that. You

don't even have to ever share this. Okay. So these are not all the signs, but these are the most common signs. A grandiose sense of self importance and exaggerates achievements and talents. Number two dreams of unlimited power. Six sess brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. Three requires excessive admiration. Four believes he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with other people of high status. Five lacks empathy for the feelings

and needs of others. Six unreasonably expects special, favorable treatment or compliance with his or her wishes. Seven exploits and takes advantage of others to achieve personal ends. Eight envies others or believes they are envious of him or her, and nine has an attitude of arrogance, or at least acts that way. I'm gonna be straight up honest, I'm gonna own this one. This one really resonated with me. Number two dreams of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty, or

ideal love. Like for sure, I want success, beauty, brilliant, ideal love like I always. That's probably my problem is that I look for an ideal love. Maybe, so one hundred percent my hand is up for number two. Yeah, and I guess that there's definitely other things in there as well, which you're like, well, I'm not like that all the time, but I've definitely done it from time

to time. Does that make me an asshole? Probably? There's probably somebody out there who I have treated badly in a past relationship who would look at this list and say that's Laura. Is that me all the time? Absolutely not. But when I read that number two as well, I'm like, I don't want power, Like power to me is such a weird word. I don't want to have power over people. The thought of that makes me feel really uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't like the power, just the success, brilliance, beauty,

and ideal love. Yeah, I do. I fantasize about ideal love. Yeah, sure, I'll have about chanting Danam. I'm hoping to have to. I'm hoping to be in a predicament where I have to choose between Liam Hemsworth and zac Efron. That is what I'm hoping happens in Byron Bay next week. Fantasies. There we go. We're very much gotten off topic here, but anyway, so I think like next we can kind of move into a little bit about being in a relationship with someone narcissistic and how that kind of plays out.

And I have spoken a lot on this podcast before about my past relationships. We've never done a dedicated episode to the train wreck. That was one of them. I guess like when I uncovered what a narcissist was, I'd never really I mean, of course i'd heard the word, but i'd never ever actually unpacked what it's like to be in a narcissistic relationship. And after two years, I

ended up in therapy after having a terrible breakup. I'd been cheated on again, and there was this constant lying and we were on and off and it was very, very volatile, and I ended up sitting down with a counselor, because I actually sat down with a counselor and really expected the counselor to be, like, help me. I wanted her to help me be better so that he would accept me more and I wouldn't keep being the problem

in the relationship. Like this was how much my self esteem over the two years has been do it all down into nothing. I went in there thinking, you'd been convinced that every problem in the relationship was you, and the only way to fix it was that you had to change. I had gotten to the point in our relationship where I mean I for me, an open relationship

is not something that I want at all. But I had gotten to the point in our relationship where I was contemplating being in an open relationship so that he could be in an open relationship. And I was prepared to lower my standards so much just so that way he wouldn't be breaking my standards anymore. Like my boundary is, Yeah, my boundaries no longer existed. And I have never ever

been so confused, so lost in myself. I didn't know who I was anymore, I didn't know what I stood for, and I was so embarrassed to my friends to my family because I felt like, how could I possibly have gotten to this point? At that time, I thought, maybe if I was more beautiful, he won't do this. Maybe if I'm funnier, he won't do this. Maybe if I can change something about myself, it'll make him want to be with me more, and then the relationship will work,

Like I can fix this. And that's when the therapist sort of said to me, like, I don't know if you've ever researched narcissistic behavior. She's like, obviously, I can't say that that's what this person is because you know, when you go to a therapist, they're only hearing one

side of the story, so it could be biased. But she gave me the tools to really unpack what I was going through, and I started reading a lot about it, and I literally saw in the information that was in front of me my relationship and how it had unfolded. And so the very start of our relationship, and this is a very key telltale sign of meeting someone who is narcissistic, is this concept of love bombing that happens

at the beginning of the relationship. So when when I first got into this relationship, I have never felt more loved, more special, more like I had a soulmate connection than I did in the first couple of months of being with this person. And it was because they idolized me. They would bring me gifts, they would show up at my work, they would call me, text me incessantly, and it was this completely all consuming, all infatuating, ridiculously intense

relationship that I'd never experienced before. And I was like, this is what love is. And then all of a sudden, shit changed, really really quick, really quick. I had exactly the same thing when I was just reading out those nine characteristics, all the most common characteristics of a narcissist, my ex, the sociopath, the psycho, and he actually is. I'm not just, I don't throw that term around. He ticks every single one, every single one of those nine.

And I'm not just I'm not being a bitter ex, like I'm so happy to talk about it and be super honest about it, but he ticks every single one. And the way I spoke about it in episode three, so I dated sociopath, but I'm just gonna jump in again now and discuss it. The way that he hooked me was exactly the same bombarded with love. I have never I was the most special human in the universe. That's how I felt. I was like, whoa, this is love, This is what I'm supposed to feel. This is how

someone's supposed to treat me. The attention that I got, and I'm talking it wouldn't have been unusual to get one hundred messages a day, multiple medias that was via email, that were phone calls, that was text messages. Actually there were two emails, but that's because he made me make another email. But that's a long story. But like all day, and he would turn up at work as well, all the things you said, take me away. This is and this is guys, this we're gonna get into red flags.

This is a big one. Anyone that told you they love you in the first two or three red flag. I'm not saying they're a narcissist, but there's something to be said for someone that says within two weeks they love you because you just don't know human enough. Sure you can have this infatuation and the lust, absolutely, but someone that's like you are the love of my life.

And I'm not saying that there aren't people out there that are like For sure, people that have met and within two weeks said they love each other and they ended up together totally. But I think the thing to keep in mind is if you are someone who has experienced that and you are still with that person in life, is great. You are the exception that is not normal

for most couples in relationships. So if you do find yourself in that situation, like Bridges said, where it's all consuming and this person's telling you they love you straight away and it seems too good to be true, sometimes it's because it is too good to be true, and this can be a really big warning sign that something quite toxic is about to shift in the behavior. So this phase that we're talking about is called idealization, and

this is a characteristic of narcissistic relationships. Basically, it's part of it's part of the entrapment ites. It's this idolizing of you, and then you become so in love with the person who is narcissistic that you feed their ego, you give them everything they want. You are completely succumbed to the relationship. Then what happens is maybe they'll pick a fight with you. For me, it wasn't for me,

it wasn't that he picked a fight for me. It was that we were out at a nightclub and he started texting another girl and was obviously flirting with girls right in front of me, And it was that the switch in his behavior was so severe that it was almost like Jekyl and Hyde. I didn't understand who I was out with that night. I was like, what is going on? Like what are you doing? Are you? Have you taken drugs? Are you drunk? Like what is this person?

And there was just this complete two phase nature. What happens is this this is called the devalue phase. So the devalue phase of the relationship, it really makes you super confused you and you start to question your reality and you question if even what's happening around you is real,

and then that creates anxiety in you. And that anxiety and that fear of losing the person is actually what strengthens the bond and what starts to make this narcissistic relationship so incredibly toxic and lack a drug because every time you go through this idealization phase and then a devalue phase, it strengthens those bonds and you become closer and closer to the narcissist, and it becomes harder and harder for you to actually leave. And so for people

who this goes on for years. For It's why actually leaving a relationship with a narcissist it's one of the hardest things to do. Maybe get to get side, it's one of the hardest things to do, and it's something that family and friends often can't relate to unless they've actually experienced it themselves, because your friends and family can

often see what's happening. But part of what a narcissistic person will do of someone who's truly truly narcissistic is that they isolate you from your friends and family, and they make it so that you don't have your support network, where in that moment, they're the people that you need the most. Personally, I found I lost one of my best friends during this relationship. I was her maid of honor and I was uninvited to her wedding because of

his really bad behavior at her engagement party. But because I was so in love with him and so scared of lo in the relationship, I chose to defend him and not defend the friendship. Can I ask what he did? We don't talk about it now I can talk about it. He was out of curiosity to be uninvited to a wedding. I feel like pretty big thing. She was my best

friend from school. We were at the engagement party, and he just started being really, really overtly sexual towards one of the other bridesmaids, commenting on her boobs made her feel very, very uncomfortable, and he was obviously flirting with her, but was really pushing the boundaries in a way that

I mean. I wasn't there when this was happening. I was in the other room, and she then went obviously told my friend, and so my girlfriend came and said to me, like this has happened, and I chose not to believe it. And when I confronted him about it, he said that my friend was a liar, it never happened.

He would never do that. He loved me, and so I felt like I felt like I had found this incredibly special relationship and people were trying to ruin it for me because I had to choose between what was being said and what was actually happening. Well, that's the whole point. That's what they want you to believe, isn't it. That's where that friend and she ended up dissolving. It became to a point where my girlfriend had said, I don't want him at her wedding, and I was like, well,

here's my boyfriend. If you don't want him at the wedding, I'm not going to come to the wedding. And then that was it. I didn't end up going to the wedding, which, in retrospect, I look at that now and I think

it's so fucking sad. You're so in love and you do get to a point where you think that the world's against you, and like this person would never lie to you, because you do have a different connection with your partner than you do with your friends, and you will love your friends and trust your friends and they're everything to you, but you can't deny that there's not a different kind of bond with a lover husband partner. So you weren't making a decision based on the fact

that you were trying to end a friendship. You honestly believed that they were trying to end your relationship. So I think that's different totally. And I think the thing that we need to keep in perspective is that when you're in a relationship with someone who is very, very narcissistic. They are a drug. The person who is the supply ends up almost needing them as much as the narcissist needs them in return. So it's it's toxic from both sides of the relationship. For sure. I want to get

into another I mean this all ties in together. But the next sort of thing I want to talk about is gas lighting. We have done a whole episode on it, guys, a few episodes back. You can go and have a listen to that one, but we can't not mention it here because it's such a huge part of a narcissistic relationship. The whole idea is they're manipulating you. They want to make you believe that the whole world is wrong. Everything

they say is gospel. They start to make you question yourself, your own sense of reality, what you know to be true, every time you go to question them on something, because you're going to there's no way that you've met a relationship like this, like even like you just said, Laura, like the time comes where you have to go to him and say, did this just happen? Did you just

do this? Did you just say this? Like did you actually go there and they're going to come back at you and they're going to start gas lighting because they need to get you back on their side. My ex did it to me all the time. All the time.

I would go to him knowing he had been like deep down, knowing he'd just been with someone else, knowing he had cheated, knowing that things were not adding up, and I would leave the conversation thinking how apologizing to him and thinking how could I have gotten that so wrong? Like I'm going crazy. He would make me think I was going crazy, And that is something you really really

need to be aware of. If you start questioning your own reality, it's a really big red flag that they're trying to put you in this little box and cut you off from the rest of the world. It's such a weird thing because this sort of like relationship terminology is only stuff that you become super aware of, I think once you've been in this type of relationship, Like prior to experiencing this myself, I'd never heard of the word love bombing. I'd never heard of the word gas lighting.

I didn't know that these things actually existed until experiencing them and being amidst the absolute confusion that it throws you into. And then when you come out on the other side and you actually read the definitions for some of these things and you go, holy fucking shit, that

was my whole relationship. And I think a lot of people who experience these relationstionships have this retrospective outlook on it that they go, oh, my god, that's what happened to me, and acknowledging that and being able to identify and label things. There's a lot of power in that as well. Another thing to notice is when you're in this conversation and they're gas lighting you, right, so when you go to them and you say, did this happen? Not only is it common for them to say to

you you're going crazy, This would never have happened. You know, people are lying to you, They're always going to do that. But then what they do is throwing a compliment to They're throwing some praise to make you feel good, to make you feel like, oh, okay, not only am I going crazy, but this guy is a good person. An example, you're crazy, everyone's lying to you. How can you possibly believe them? You know how amazing I think you are?

And you know I love you, so that's it. So all of a sudden you've gone, oh, I'm crazy, this guy loves me so much. And that's how they keep you hooked. There is this complete lack of empathy, and I think that people who are very narcissistic are actually

able to fake it really really well. So like you might have so good man who you might think that like they might be crying, they might be groveling, they might be begging for you to stay and apologizing and doing all the things that would that would signal that actually they're really really sorry. And then as soon as you're back in and you've been hooked back into the relationship, the exact same behavior starts happening again, and there was

really no real remorse there. It was almost very performative because they know exactly what to do to get what they need out of you in order to keep you there, because the relationship itself and the purpose that you serve

in that relationship is that you feed their ego. And often people who are narcissistic are actually really attracted to empaths and people who have a lot of feelings and care a lot because they are often more flexible with their boundaries than people who are very strong willed and are not as sensitive or driven by their feelings. So it's kind of the difficult thing is that you know, somebody who is narcissistic is attracted to an EmPATH, and

an EmPATH is attracted to an narcissist. And often you'll find that if you keep getting into the same types of relationships that are narcissistic relationships. Is because maybe you do fall into that type of category, which once you're aware of it, it allows you to be able to work on yourself to be able to identify those things

as well. The next thing that we want to jump into is it's one thing to start to see the red flags and have this realization that maybe you're dating a narcissist, this relationship with this person is not healthy. How do you extract yourself from that? It is one thing to leave a normal relationship and have a breakup and move on, and it is a whole nother ballgame to try and extract yourself from a relationship or a situation with a narcissist or someone with narcissistic tendencies. It's

a whole another ballgame. People don't understand, they don't understand the depth of the addiction that you kind of have for somebody when you're in that type of relationship, and also the fact that they are so manipulative in trying to get you to stay, in my case, that you ended up having to move and I ended up selling my car because I just actually felt like I was never ever going to be free of the relationship, because every single time I would get a little bit further away,

something would happen and I get sucked back in, and it was very all consuming. I think the other thing to remember as well is that there's a lot of guilt attached when you have found yourself in these relationships and you are in this phase of going back and forth, back and forth and trying to break free. There's a lot of feeling of just unworthiness and sadness and guilt that goes with it, and like feeling like, how the fuck did this happen to me? I really just want

to say, like this can happen to anyone. That's the thing, and that was one of the things that Britain I really wanted to bring to this episode, is that both of us have experienced this to a very very toxic and very damaging level, and this literally can happen to anyone. It's not a reflection of you. It's not a reflection of you being weak. It's not a reflection of you not knowing your boundaries. It's a reflection of dealing with somebody who doesn't work like a normal person, or doesn't

work like your average person. The reason it's so hard to leave is because this is actually a term that they use to describe these relationships. You are a narcissist supply. You're a narcissistic supply chain. You are feeding them. They need you to operate because they need you to be under their control. They need you to make them feel good. They need to know that they have power. So every time you go to leave, they will find a way

to bring you back because you are their supply. What they suggest you do when you want to leave a relationship like this is not to give a reason for why you're leaving. If you know that this is super, super super unhealthy, don't say I'm leaving because you control me too much. I'm leaving because you don't let me do what I want on the weekends. If you give them a reason, they're going to say, I love you so much, I promise you can do it every one

on the weekend. I will never do that to you again. They're going to find a reason to bring you back, and specifically to what you've told them the problem is. But what they suggest you say if you need to extract yourself is say I'm leaving because I don't love you and it's not going to work and I want out of the relationship. Don't give them a reason. It's just that this isn't working anymore. Yeah, and it needs

to be like such a clear and concise thing. And don't get me wrong that that's not going to be enough. They're still going to try and bring you back in. But exactly as Britz said, you can't get them something to negotiate with because as soon as you give them something that they've done wrong, or you try and explain to them what it is that's making you so upset or making you need to leave, that gives them leverage

to try and manipulate you and change your mind. And one of the questions that we kept getting on the Facebook group, will they change that? Can you explain to a narcissist why you feel the way you feel or how they're hurting you, you really can't because even if you do explain it to them and they pretend like they're accepting that information, or they they seem to be accepted in that information, they're not going to put it

into action. Unless a narcissist actually identifies that they are a narcissist and seeks therapy for it, they're never going to change or come to a different conclusion. So you're always going to get sucked back in. The only thing to do if you can do it, So if you don't have children, if it's not someone you're related to, if it's early days in a relationship, the only thing you can do is walk away and fucking block and delete and shut down your social media and do not

allow them to have any access to your life. And as much as that just seems like the most severe and horrible way of ending things, and I guarantee that there will be this period where you literally feel like you're going through withdrawal symptoms from them, but that is the most effective way of being able to deal and break off this narcissistic relationship. For every single day that passes, one day at a time, you're slowly going to be

able to get over the relationship. You're solely going to break down those bonds, and it's like having an addiction to anything. Really take it one day at a time, and every single day that you go without speaking to them, without contacting them, without looking at their social media, pat yourself on the back, because like that is one day closer to you being free of this absolute fucking hell.

Something that they think is also really important to know, because this is also such a hard part of like breaking free of someone who is narcissistic, is that once they can't control you anymore, they may try and control the narrative around you. So they may try and influence the way that your friends, or your family, or people in your workplace even think of who you are as

a person. So maybe they will make up stories, maybe they will bend the truth to make it seem like you're the one who was doing the wrong in the relationship. The same thing happened to me with my ex. When it all came out that he had his double life, he went and told everyone he knew, everyone that could possibly cross paths with us, because we had a lot

of circles that cross paths. He you and I. He thought everyone that I was like this crazy stalker and this is how we played it off because people are like, you know, like we used to see her car at your house, like we know that something's going on, and he would say things like, yeah, she used to just fucking turn up and stand out in front of my house,

like he made it out like everything. Every time someone would say we saw you together, like calling him out on it, he had this way turning around and saying she's a nutjob, like she was crazy, and I was like, dude, we were getting married. I was like, this is insane that he was trying to poison every single person in my life and turn everyone against me because he couldn't

control me anymore. So obviously we've just touched on like how to get out of a relationship if it's in the early stages, but like we acknowledge that there are relationships that you can't just walk away from. Maybe you have children, maybe it's a relative. What I want to say to that is that the first step is acknowledging

what you're dealing with. So if you have already recognized, and you already identified that the person that you're dealing with is narcissistic, or has narcissistic personality disorder and it's been diagnosed, then you you know what you're in for. And I think that that's the first step of setting

personal boundaries and being able to protect yourself. So if it is someone that you can't actually move yourself completely away from and create space, then what you need to do is try and create as much mental wellness around that person as possible. Set boundaries, set limitations, and if you do find yourself in a situation where they are gas lighting, you be really aware and cognizant that that is what's happening. Don't get embroiled in the argument, don't

get tied down in it. Just walk away and don't give fire to it, because I think that the more that you try and negotiate or have a conversation or change their mind, the more you're gonna get sucked back into that reality. I put a little list of things together because I knew the time would come where we would have to do a list of how to move on and extract yourself. I love it when you do the research for it a list. Basically, the number one thing.

Education is key, Information is power. You might not know what you're dealing with I certainly didn't. I know Laura didn't until you actually have someone laid out for you and you're looking at it physically and you're like, oh my god, that yes, yes, yes, yes. So educate yourself to what it is. Read up about these unhealthy relationships. Read up about the narcissistic tendencies, traits, the different types of narcissism, because remember, they don't all fall into one category.

Totally listen to podcasts, go online. There's so many forums and communities. I know that something that really really helped me was joining online communities of other people who had dealt with narcissistic relationships, and it made me think I am not alone and I'm not an idiot, which is what I really really felt at the time, and it was a real safe space to kind of rebuild from

there as well. So I do think that there are so many resources online that can make you feel really empowered and you come out of the other side going, Okay, I'm not the only one who's been through this. Yes, see,

now my problem is I'm the opposite to you. It took me such a long time to deal with because I didn't I didn't seek help and I didn't go on online communities and I didn't do the research, and I knew I was in a fucked up relationship and I knew what had happened to me, and like, there is so much more that I'll never actually be able to talk about to you, guys. I knew was so far from being okay, but I dealt with it on my own. I was like, I'm fine, everything's fine. I

don't need anyone. And that was the worst thing. Now, in hindsight, that's the worst thing I could have done, because it took me so much longer to move on. Like I was a hot mess for a really, really long time. So I can say from the other side, like Laura is saying, go and do it, because she's done it. She sought help and it really helped her, I can say go and seek help because I didn't, and I saw what that did to me. Yeah, totally.

And I think like the biggest thing that I did that was of benefit to me was going and speaking to a therapist and unpacking what it was in my relationship and why I was attracted to this and really

understanding what had happened a bit better. And I think that's that's like something what you just said, brit is like something that I think so many people who experience this to have to overcome is just how long it takes and how deep the damage goes when you're in a narcissistic relationship, Like it's it's so and can be so traumatic, and like we talk about things from like a gas lighting, lying, manipulation perspective, Like there's people who

are in these relationships and it's much more physical and the abuse is much more volatile and frightening. And so I think that that you know, the number one thing to do is go and speak to someone who's a professional. Try to build up a life outside of your relationship. So this is maybe you're reigniting or reconnecting with friends. Maybe you are trying to find a new hobby or going back to a sport or a hobby that you

used to do. That might be reconnecting with your family against just something something that you can do on your own for yourself, with your friends, separate, completely separate and independently of him. So it's slowly slowly taking your life back. And I really think that there's power in vulnerability and

talking about what it is that you've experienced. So if you have, if you have been through this and you are finding that you're isolated and you haven't been able to connect with your friends, I do think that there is power in actually talking about what you've gone through and the reason why you withdrew from them, because if they are your true friends or your family, they're going

to be much more receptive once they understand. Now, the next one on your list, which is like something that I think is really hard to work on after you've been through these relationships, but it's just so critical is working on your self esteem and working on your self worth and knowing that what happened to you is not your fault, and knowing that the relationship is not a byproduct of anything that you did wrong, and also knowing that like, you couldn't have changed anything about yourself to

make them treat you better, Like that's not the basis of what would have made that relationship better. Yeah. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It's the hardest thing to do. It is so hard. It's one thing to say, build yourself steam and get your confidence back. Okay, Yeah, how the hell do I do that when I've just been trampled over and I feel like a piece of shit. Yeah, it took that took me a really really long time, and I'm totally there now, but I'd be lying if

I said it wasn't really hard to do. And I also think it's really important to start trying to bring new things into your life that give you a sense of self worth outside of what the relationship was like for me, I know, like it kind of sounds lame. I've talked about it before, Like I took up salsa dancing and having which I laughed at every time. And it's not funny, but it's funny. I went to solsa dancing. I used a salsa dance like four nights a week.

I look like that red emoji absolutely and I'm steel so bad at salsa dancing. But it was just something that got me out of my own house. It got me around a new group of people, and it forced me to do something that was active. So I was feeling good about myself, like endorphins were running and like I really enjoyed myself. It got me out of such a bad slump and it got me away from just drinking or going out and partying, which wasn't helpful for

my mental state at that point in time. So you know, I think it's it's lame to say start a new hobby, but I also think it can be a really constructive thing to do when you're in a bad space. God, no, I start, I've said it, but two I enrolled in Italian classes at adult education. Everyone was fifty plus. But I had a great old time because I needed to take my mind of it. We're not one of those people that say, oh, start a new hobby, Like, we

don't just make it up. Literally, go and find something that you always wanted to do, or that you're passionate about, or that you want to explore further, and just go and do it. I mean, you have free time now, Like when you're not spending all every second of your day filling somebody else's hole, you can fill your own hole. That sounds very sexual, but it's not how I mean.

It's always make you can fill your own cup. You know, basically, you have so much more time and so much more energy to work on yourself, and that can be seemed really overwhelming when you're absolutely at rock bottom, but it is a really, really great place to start and The last few things are just once you've decided to leave, don't rush back into dating. Don't try and fix yourself

get over it by getting under someone else. You need to sit in your own pain, in your own trauma and your own experiences, and you need to heal yourself's. Like I wish there was a magic cure, there's not. The worst thing you can do is go and have like a recovery relationship, a band aid relationship. Don't get into another relationship until you know that if the relationship goes bad, you're gonna be okay. That's the big thing

I think. Make sure that you're at a point in your life where you know that even if shit goes wrong, and even if you can't control it and you end up in a bad space again, that you as a person are going to be fine. I know that this is gonna resonate with a lot of people. I know this episode there's gonna be a lot of people saying, oh my God, like I've been through that, or maybe this is what I'm going through right now, maybe I

have a friend going through that. What I want to really highlight here is that feelings of you're not good enough, It's all your fault. If only you could have done something better, if and you could have been better. They are all really really normal feelings. They're not true. But I don't want to lie to you and say that you're not going to feel it. And if you feel that, then you're feeling the wrong thing, because you will feel it. It's human nature to feel those things. I felt them

for a long time and know Laura felt them. I know every one of you listening is going to think that you haven't been good enough at a certain time in a relationship for that person, and that maybe if you were just a little bit better, a little bit prettier, a little bit smarter, a little bit funnier, that maybe the relationship would have worked. It's so important to me that you guys, get to a place where you do know that that's not true. They're going to make you

feel like that. People will make you feel like that in your life. I want you to feel like that for about two point two seconds, and then tell yourself how amazing you are. Think of all the positives in your life, think of all the really good things, because absolutely, if something doesn't work out, if for a relationship like this doesn't work out. It has nothing to do with you men, bloody men. Just to wrap this whole section up. Like, I know, it's been big. I know it's been heavy.

There's so much to cover with this because there's so many different types and there's so many ways that it can display itself. But you know, like we said, we've had so many questions come in and we have put them in a bank. We're going to get a clinical psychologists on to answer some of the really difficult questions that you guys have put forward about narcissism and also just about different types of personality disorders in general that

we've received over the last year doing this podcast. But I feel like this was an episode that was a really long time coming, and so I'm glad that we've finally had this discussion and put it out there. We want to highlight that we did read it all. We don't want you to think that we're scooting over things that we don't think are important, because we do think

there are. So we could talk about this for weeks literally, and like we said, if you guys have any further questions that you want us to throw at a clinical psychologist and we do get them on hit us up on our Facebook group, or you can hit us up on lifelunk Cup podcast on Instagram and we'll add it to the best. Well, that was a big episode, Laura, bloody big one. It was a big one. But you know, every now and again we have to do these ones. We have to dog deep and we have to talk

about things we think are important. But let's now talk about something a little bit more lighthearted. We don't finish an episode without our suck and sweet, our highlight and our lowlight of the week. So you are going first, and I can see on your face that you've got no idea what your suck sweet is. I can read you like a book. I know what my sweet is. Oh, I have so many sweets, which is bad. This has been a really good week. It sucks first, dude, Yeah,

I know, But okay, I suck. I'm just gonna say, you know, as much as there's some highlights to the fact that Molly's growing to daycare, I hate that she's going to day care. I hate it. There's no part of my body right now that enjoys this idea. It's a necessity so that I can get work done and whatnot. But yeah, I'm not cool with it. I can two weeks and you'll love it. Yeah, Okay, We'll talk to me in two weeks time and I'll give you a

new sweet. But right now, that's my suck. My sweet for the week is that we we have yesterday just launched the new range for Tony May, and that has been like six months coming and so much work, and I'm like super proud of it. And I don't even care if this is a plug, but it's you're all llowed to plug. It's just our yeah, our new range that we've been all working on and that I feel like has consumed my life for the last six Oh my god. And I saw some of the pictures from

the campaign. Girlfriend, you were in one of the midlists. Now hoping you notice, I've been like flipping it around all episode, like waiting for you to notice, and you haven't whipping it around my neck. So that's my sweet. It's been such a big business week for me and for Tony May, and like I just, you know, very very rarely do I have moments where I actually feel super proud. I usually suffer from massive imposter syndrome, and today I'm like, this is a good day. Oh I'm

proud of you. You wave bloody heart and the collection is amazing. Have a look Tonymay dot com. I'm joking, dot you is what she meant to say. What's your sweet sucks? Okay, what's just suck? I hate mind Suck's pretty funny but also pretty messed up. I've had this some spider web on the just see me out, Laura. I've had a spider web in my car window in my mirror, you know, the side mirror. He obviously the spider's obviously living behind the mirror. Because the spiderweb comes

out every morning. I brush it off, comes out the next morning, and I'm like, you know what, snuggle on in there. You're not doing any harm. Live your best life in my mirror. Fancy spider live in an arrangee and BONDI that randes some expensive rend that is freeloading. He's got beach fuse to I was, I've been like wiping the spiderweb away every day with a stick or something, and he comes back and I'm like, fuck, I'm just gonna let him up, Like he's not doing any harm.

Live your best life. Then, as I was driving back from Port mcquarie. So this. I only saw this when I was on the highway on the weekend. I noticed that the spider web was now in side my car, inside in the front mirror. Bit so I'm like, all right, smarty pants, you've made your way in. So what I had to do was get some spider stuff and I killed him. Sorry. I'm like, I can't have a huntsman running on the inside of my window on the hole that just got really dark. That happened, Okay, give me

a sweet. My sweet is like, well, hasn't actually happened yet. But I along with Laura, but separately. We're going to Byron Bay this weekend. Oh yeah, I forgot so, but both like, we're both going separately, but I'm sure i'll see you. No. So I booked a trip to Byron Bay and then britt booked the exact same trip on the exact same days and was like, oh, maybe we'll see each other. And I was like, well, clearly we're going together now, Brittany, clearly we're going to see each other.

You sound I'm really making this. Old guy said I was a stalkerl I was like, Brittany, why are you parked out the front of my house again. Yeah, because we do the podcast twice a week, we can't really go anywhere or have a life because it's like three days apart. It's not enough time to ever do it. So Laura was like, heads up, I have to take a week off because I have to go up for a work trip to Byron Bay because you're doing shooting

stuff up there. And I was like, well, bingo, if we've got a week off, I'm going on a week holiday too. And then I was like, where could I possibly go within New South Wales that I would want to go and spend a week And just so happened that the only friends I have are in Byron Bay. So how following you that Britt is staying like a straight away from me. We're taking the podcast equipment up there and we're going to do next week's for it. We're going to do next week's episode from Byron Bay.

I don't actually even know where you're staying you a little bit, ahi, guys. And on that note, thank you for listening to another episode of Life Uncut. We hope that you loved it. We hope that you've got something out of it. We hope that you feel empowered and that you have some people in this world who have been through the exact same shit that you have been through, and you know the drill or the housekeeping. If you haven't signed up for the Facebook group or the Instagram

it's Life Uncut podcast. If you're on the Facebook group, make sure that you actually join the group, which you have to like select, not just like the page, because we don't do anything on the page. That's that's it's just a shop window. You're gonna get into best where they're deady actually fight club. It's just like it's a pretend version. You've got to get in in in deep to the group and then we never talk about it

because never talk about it on every episode. Yeah, and you know what, I just kind of deal with you guys appreciate a lot because we love la