Coming up Roses with Bella Varelis - BACH FINALE CHAT!

like midday and I hadn't really eaten anything. I had like a cup of coffee, and then I was in the midst of serving a customer at work. So I'm standing there at work and I'm I'm trying to sell this guy an engagement ring, and I could feel this like rising feeling of feeling a bit sick. I was like, oh God, something's going on anyway, still trying to chat to this guy. And then the rising feeling got worse and worse and worse, and then I just plucked down.

his dessert, his dessert. So he put it out on Instagram, and we asked you, our wonderful listeners and our wonderful Instagram and Facebook community, what are some of the weird names that your partner or ex partners have called your vagina for? It hasn't read them yet, So I'm going to read a few of my favorites.

doing a doggie style. Then we were interrupted by our four year old daughter saying, what are you guys doing while staring at us in full doggie style sex position naked. My husband replied and said to her, I'm just giving mommy a massage, sweetie. We didn't hear anything about it for the rest of the day. Then the next morning, hubby had gone to work and my daughter jumped into bed with me for a cuddle. She then said, Mummy, roll over and play that game that you were playing

with Papa yesterday. Needless to say, I lost my shit laughing and said, no, darling, that's not a game we can play.

two weeks later and it was my birthday. His dad gives me a rap present in front of the whole family. I excitedly open it to find my bay the bottoms are inside. I sheepishly look up at him and he says, yeah, well I found those in the spa filter. At least he has a sense of humor.

decided to Facebook store him classic. She didn't think she had done anything wrong and thought she'd gotten.

that one. But anyway, guys, we just wanted to make today's intro short, sharp and a little bit naughty, and we're going to get into interviewing bellas you watched the show. If you watched the final of Bachelor, I genuinely think that this finale, I mean, Britt, you might tell me that I'm wrong, but I think that this finale was one of the most heartbreaking finales that we have ever seen.

And the reason for that is because Lockie went so far telling both the girls that he was in love with them and really building that, building the intensity, really making them feel reassured, really making them feel loved, only to the very next day turn around and say I can't be with you anymore. Bella and I think collectively Australia's heart absolutely shattered when she had her heart broken, and I wanted to speak to Bella about what her

experience was like on the show. I really also wanted to uncover what this whole lockdown period was like for them, because you know, it's a very different experience to what both Britt and I had. I mean, we never had this, they had their phones back, they were in love in lockdown,

but they were not being supervised. So what does the bachelor look like when there isn't the supervision of producers and cameramen and Soundi's and Bella was really really honest and she shared a lot of the ins and outs of the past six months of what happened between her and Luckey, of the extent of their relationship, and also of the extent of the hurt that she's felt as a result of being publicly dumped on national TV. I'm

really excited for this chat. I think it's a really beautiful and really honest conversation, and I really hope that you guys enjoy it just as much as we did recording it.

hours later, that like, oh, I know yesterday I said this, but psych it's not you. Obviously I felt that in a different way because I mean, you guys never saw it. But yeah, I was made to feel like it was me on my show, and twelve hours later it wasn't say and I know exactly everything Bella said. I know the exact timeline because we are with them on the date, as you know, Laura at like midnight, one am, two am, and then at seven am you feel in the finale,

so the night before, so I feel it. But guys, it was a really interesting chat. We got something that's never happened on The Bachelor before.

of getting into this conversation. When Bella had her final date with Lockie, that was literally twelve hours before he then turned around and said I don't want to be with you anymore. So he had said I love you, and twelve hours later had said I don't want to be with you. And I think that that's something that we really need to keep perspective on with this. The other thing as well is that normally during filming, there is a three month gap between when filming ends and

when the show is on TV. Unfortunately, for this season, that gap was very very short. It was only six weeks between when filming ended and when the show was on TV, and that was due to this extended filming schedule around Love and Lockdown, you know, the parameters that were put in place because of COVID. So I think those timeframes really changed the dynamic. It also really intensifies the hurt. And what it also means is that instead of filming for three months, this season actually filmed for

six months. So the girls in this season filmed a much stronger and more intense bond than I think even yourself or I could have formed, and like, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have dated Matt for six months for him to then turn around and say it's not you at the end, and.

stressful this period of time can be. But there has been a lot of conversation around their relationship and from their perspective so far, but I haven't really heard a lot from Bella's side of the story, and so we wanted to unpack what happened because there absolutely is more to the story than what we saw on the TV.

But that's why we want to chat to Bella. But it's very evident that there is a lot that has been missed out in this story, and I think that's why we decided to get Bella on today, just so we can learn what really happened behind closed doors.

you keep this from me? So Florence, So if anyone who doesn't know Florence, who was on my season of Bachelor with Matt, she sent me screenshots of an article that was in Daily Mail of you being papped on your first single day. I did not know this, so thanks for keeping that from me.

to be like, don't kill me. Well, we're going to get into everything, particularly the finale. I want to know more about this whole lockdown period. Actually, I just want to know everything. But before we get into all of that, first off, something that we do with all our guess is do you have an embarrassing story for us? I have one. It's kind of gross.

it was maybe like our first month together. And We're at the event and I've had a couple of champagnes, and all of a sudden, I just start getting really hot and I was getting Honestly, I would have preferred that. I started getting like these waves of hate coming through my body, and I was like, something doesn't feel right. So I was like, I'm just gonna go outside and get some air. And I was like, oh, I'll come with you. And I was like, great, that was my

way to get away from you. So we go outside. This is like on Bondi Road, by the way, like nice in public, really nice and public. Frey Yeah, and we're standing outside and I'm like trying to compose myself. All of his mates have decided to come outside as well, and he's like, what's going on with you? He was like what's wrong? And I was like I don't know know. I'm like I'm fine, I'm fine. I keep brushing it off, and then he go I think he goes to grab

my arm. And as he grabs my arm and he's like, do you need like, let me get you some water or something. I straw up all over his brand new suit. And when I mean all over, I mean like it was projectile. Onto your ladies and gentlemen. This is your most eligible.

hope to bring that to the table. I was like, there's a few sexual stories that could bring out, but I feel like, just in case my dad listens.

did you fall in love? Not really, but that's fine. I was like, I fell in love, yeah, And then you meet the friends that are like, no, I genuinely fell in love and then you kind of just that's kind of where my connection to this whole thing happened. But I mean, aside from that, I think I'm just kind of your average Joe, you know. Just I spend most of my time at the ocean. I'm an absolute bloody dog, and I have a constant better with gravity.

So that's pretty much me in a nutshell. So what kind of relationship trauma have you been through in order to make you go, oh, I'm going to go on a reality TV show. No.

without it actually being intended that way. So, for example, my first partner, I was with him for four years. I had nothing to do with Batch. Unfortunately, we were just too young, like we were. I met him when I was seventeen, and it was just like we were more best friends than we were anything. Honestly, that was probably one of the best relationships I've ever been in because he genuinely loved me for who I am, my

dorky self. He saw every aspect of me and not once was he ever trying to change me or judge me or anything like that. So ultimately, that is what I look for in a relationship, like someone who loves me for who I am, no questions asked. My second relationship was kind of this is kind of where my triggers started to trickle in, whereas like it was one of those relationships where it was so electric and it was so passionate. But I don't know if he was

in the right headspace for a relationship. So I got dragged on a little bit. I was young, I was in love, I was naive. He went on the Bachelorette, So who was that? So that was Sam Johnston Georgia Love Season. But you dated him before he was actually involved with Bachelorette. We dated way before, so we dated before Bachelorette was even a thing for him, and we actually ended up back together after he finished the show as well. So that's kind of where my connection to

Matt comes in. And that's kind of where I met Matt Courtney through Matt ended up meeting Laura, and that's kind of where this little web had been created. So it was like, I mean, you're dating a guy, You're going to meet his mates. It just so happened that his mates were on the Bachelorette with him too. So and if you're thinking that the Bachelorette or the Bachelor is an incestuous community, it kind of is. So there you go, Yeah, you're big, big, big Greek family, big sisterhood,

sister wives exactly. But I think it's just nice because you are like minded. So it's kind of like you're you're friends with people who are in the same headspace as you. They do the same work as you. So yeah, it's just yeah, And it's one of those experiences. I mean, I always say, like, obviously Britta and I we formed a really amazing friendship after the show, and you're like, sorry, who are you again? She's still playing hard to get,

But that's the way it's my game. It's because you go through this thing which is such a such a weird and like I can't even put it into words what the multi experience is, and it really galvanizes you. Well, it really galvanizes you to people who have shared that same experience, because I think unless you have done a reality TV show, you don't really I can't fully understand

or grasp what is involved in it. And I think that that was one of the conversations I had with you early on where I was like, you don't know what's coming for you, but I promise you'll be okay on the other side of it. Yeah, it's pretty fucking crazy. I feel like though, like in that sense, I've been so grateful for people like you in my life where

you've been through this as well. And it's like even Courtney gave me some really good advice and he was like, you'll be sweet, Like you are very so aware of your emotions. You're probably one of the most emotional people I know. So he was like, oh, in a good way. He was like, you're very connected to your emotions all beit love, sadness, whatever it may be. So he was like, I'll be there for you at the end. He even said, he was like, you know, Laura will be there for

you at the end. So it's kind of like it's nice when you have people that have been through it and they just know when they get it. I had no idea it would be this insane, but I think it's just like it's blown my mind.

put someone down. Then I feel like maybe I shouldn't say this, but you probably have bigger things to deal with in messaging someone that you have no idea who they are. So it's kind of like I didn't want to start letting that get to me because it's hard. It's like people what you fall in love, and they think they have the audacity to tell you how you do feel and opinions on your life. The reason why that arises is because we do get grouped into being

a character. So and I was one of the things I was going to talk to you about how you kind of went from having this like wifey edit to the villainous edit to being the one who was heartbroken at the end. And what people really lose sight of is that you're not playing a character along the process of the show. You are just you, and you're having a very human experience on a reality TV show, and you'll react into things that are happening to you. But I just want to before we get into like the

whole process of it. I do have a couple of like logistical questions. Can you tell us how long it's been since filming ended? Yes, so it was the end of July, so two months, like eight weeks? Yeah, seven week about seven eight weeks, So just so that everyone has some context and perspective on what that means and in comparison to what normal seasons look like. So when Britt and I finished filming, we had around three months, maybe a little bit longer between when filming finished and

when the finale actually played on TV. And so there is a much longer time frame for the person who is the one who's heartbroken at the end to actually grieve the relationship, move on a little bit, and have some closure before watching it play out on TV. Whereas in this season of The Bachelor, because of COVID and because of lockdown and everything being extended and production time frames being thrown out, obviously that timeframe was really reduced.

So I feel like this is a lot rawer for you than what maybe it would have been for Bread. I mean, I'm putting words in your mouth.

so we just were happy for you. Let us know, when the wedding is and I'm reading these messages and I'm like, oh god on, like it hurts because I think even Roxy said to me at one point she was like, mate, like he doesn't look at you like he looks at anyone else. And it's like hearing that and You're like, but then what happened, Like if other people could see it too, then what actually happened in

the end. So I think it just it really messed with my head because part of me was like at the end, I was like, was it in my head? Was it this amazing connection? And it was actually just me thinking it was, you know, immense and there was so much love, but really that was only one sided. But then seeing people say that, I was like, Okay, so they're seeing it too. They saw it as well. So it was pretty rough. But I think in the

beginning it kind of just made me realize. When I was watching it back, I was like, no, that was there. We did have a connection, and it was it was real. I mean, the guy told you that he loved you in the last episode also wrote it on his arm,

so I'm gonna say it was. Everybody was equally as confused yea by that cluster fuck as what you are honestly, and I think some people have even been saying, well no, he said he was falling in love with you, and he said I've fallen in love with her, and I was like, well no.

the bar? He I think the one thing that really got me was when he said to me, he was like, I can't wait to make you happy for the rest of your life, And that for me was I'm like, you don't say that to someone on you really want that to like unless he's sitting there And I remember saying to Mom and I was like, I think I found the person that actually wants to be with me, Like of all the things that I've been through, you know, my exes and being somehow connected to the Bachelor, this

is obviously what it was all pointing to. I had to come on here, I had to meet Lockie, and he's going to be the person that I wanted to be with.

feel like you're you know, like it's literally gaslighting. So but what I think is different in your experience and what I think we really need to dive into is this whole period during lockdown, because there's a lot of rules around, like the way that you can interact with the Bachelor, and like I know from my season, like we didn't have any access to phones. You know, I only got to speak to Matt when it was on camera,

and it was times that had been organized. However, during this whole period of lockdown, what were the rules, like, how was it how was it supposed to run? So when we actually got out, when it was like, okay, so there is a global pandemic and you're all going home. I think the first thing I actually said to Osha was like, you pulling my leg because I didn't believe it. And you because you don't know what's happening in the world,

you don't have access to the news. You just you're so isolated in this little Stockholm syndrome bubble.

I think there was about two days before. One of the producers had called me and it was a Monday morning. I actually remember it so vividly because he was like, so, I just want to give you like a debrief on what's going to be happening now that you know we've gone into hiatus. He was like, you will actually have contact with Lockee one FaceTime a week, and then there'll be like two days where you can text freely, unlimited messages like whatever you want, and like a voice call

or whatever. And he was like, I'm going to send Locke your number now. He'll probably call you at some point today, and he mentioned that it might have been like a FaceTime or video chat. So and I had been sitting at home for three days. I was like, my hair is oily. I haven't unpacked my bags. I was like, there is no way I'm getting on FaceTime to this man looking like this. Ran in the shower like wash, I don't even know why. I was shaving

my legs. I was shaving my legs. I was like, like, FaceTime video calls have really good clarity these days.

is kind of where schedule went out the window. Lucky and I were talking every day, so it wasn't like and he actually said to me he was like, I don't. I want to talk to you as much as I can. Don't worry about only calling me on Tuesdays or whatever. So it was from the get go that's where it all started. So I know, I know what you were just about. Yeah, just put her hand up to ask a question. I know no one can see this, but I'm so engrossed in this right now.

I'm just going to keep that to myself. So I didn't tell anyone, and he did say that he mentioned to like his producer that we were speaking more than we should have been. But I think that was like he probably dumped it down a fair bit. It would have just been unfair to the other girls when you were having these conversations. Was he telling you that he was speaking to the other girls just as much or did you have this indication that it was just you

getting all this extra time and attention. Yeah, so he told me I was the only one that he was talking to every day. So it's actually funny because Beck actually ended up saying to me once we moved in together, we obviously and even in the house we were talking about everything, and she was like, oh, Lockie told me that I was the only one he was talking to every day.

He's baking and eggs for breakfast. Maybe bacon, yeah, he's me vacon.

that sexual chemistry. So like, no, I didn't get nude and send him like nude photos, but of course we like send a little message or you know, there were some cheeky I think that's that's like a really important thing to clarify, and also to compare that to how the Bachelor normally sort of transpires or the normal typical bachelor journey. So, like I mean, for me and Matt,

like nothing sexual ever happened on the show. The most sexual thing that ever happened between him and I was that he pushed me up against the wall and we like, hey, yeah, very hardcore made out on one of my single dates. But that was it, Like that was literally it. And never ever ever did he give me any verbal affirmation that it was going to be me. Never did I ever feel confident that it was going to be me either.

So then all of that happening throughout lockdown and like that is a three month period or a two and a half month window. Yeah, it was about two and a half months off completely off camera. It was just like normal life. And then we had a couple of weeks of love and lockdown and filming, and then we went back into the mansion after that. Yeah, so that's like a few months there where you're unsupervised or outside of the bachelor bubble. The rules don't apply anymore, and

you're having a legitimate relationship with someone. I mean, i'lbeit he's still seeing other people, but aren't all guys in Sydney when you're dead.

don't let the other girls get in your head. So going back in there, I think that's why I had that sense of confidence, because he had basically told me that it was just going back in to finish this thing, and then pretty much that was it.

beginning of this because of you know, life. So talk me through what happened with your relationships, because obviously things changed with you and Locky during Lockdown, but I was very very clear to everybody who followed the show that your friendships changed as well. And obviously that was a time when things started to really go south with Irena,

and obviously there was more to the story. Yeah, I think anyone who watched that episode that first copped our party back after Lockdown, Yeah, where the fight transpired between you and Irena could tell that the fight didn't really make a lot of sense and that there may have been more context behind it. Of course, like, let's put it this way, I wouldn't have had a reaction like that unless I was not only pissed off but devastated.

I was upset, and that's why in that moment, my emotions just got the best of me, and I think, obviously, what you're not seeing is that like, yes, I said these things, but you're not seeing the questions that I was asked to get these answers. It's more so coming across like I'm just saying these things on my own accord without being prompted. But I was being prompted, and it's kind of like these emotional reactions that I'm having

are reactions. They aren't just me throwing my hands up in the air having a cry and being like friendship done. That was like a half an hour of forty five minute chat. And the thing is as well, like there was a lot that you actually saw in filming, which was interesting for me to watch it back where I did notice that Irena had been doing little things behind my back, and I think I just kind of turned a blind eye to it because you are in this situation where you know, you are with women who were

also falling in love with the same man. So part of me was just like, it's fine, like we're all gonna we're all gonna say little things and little remarks. But that one night that really changed things for me was the whole Bella Kiss Locky at the cocktail party, and when Irena had actually told Roxy that, when in actual fact, Irena had kissed him that night too, so oh wow, we just didn't see it, and you didn't

see that. So it's little things like that where I hadn't even she never told me that she told Roxy. So when Roxy popped off about LOCKI and I having a peck, I was like, how did Roxy find out? And Irena was like, oh, like, I'm not sure. So it was interesting watching that back. So she passed him as well that night? Ye?

maybe then then the stakes kind of change. Yeah, And I think as well, especially with Lockie, Like even in that moment, I actually remember being like like he was like give me a little like a little kiss, and I was like, I can't like the girls. But then he was like, yeah, but are you here for me? Here for the girls? Oh, Psyche, you know what I mean. So in Locke's head, he's not thinking, oh, like she's she's caring for the girls, but then what's her what's

her priority here? And that It's actually funny because obviously the TV made it look like it was a lot longer, but it was literally just like a little pet goodbye just before we got off the couch and walked away. So it was just like little moments like that where I'm like, when you're actually falling for someone and they're like, well, what's your priority here? And I'm like, well, you are my priority at the end of the day, Like I didn't necessarily come into this thing to find best mates,

even though I'm really grateful that I did. But yeah, so little moments like that, and I think as well, like I obviously I hadn't seen any of Arena doing those things. So during lockdown, that's what happened. It all started coming to air all the things that she had been saying to stephan Easy had kind of came and told me about all that stuff. So that night back in the mansion was all of that coming to surface. Do you know what those things were? Like? Do you

have some context of that? So she tried to tell a few of the girls that I had body shamed her, which literally never happened. She actually has a great body. She's a babe, and I should constantly tell her that. So when stephan Izzy told me that she had been telling them my body shamed her and then she was saying the same thing to Roxy and Maddie and this is in text, I obviously got really upset and that I apparently I said Locki would never find her attractive.

So I was really upset, so told Locki that I had a fight with Ariba about who was the biggest socialite. Never I don't think I've ever even said like five words to Ariba. We were in the same room at the beginning for like a week, and I literally don't even think we said more than like good morning to

each other once. So things like that where Lockie then admitted to me he was like, you know, I'm questioning your integrity because of you know, the fact that you had a fight with Ariba about who was the bigger socialite. And I was like, what, So, what.

Bella and I miss our friendship. And I was like sitting there thinking about it, and I'd actually been like five minutes ago, five minutes before that, I could hear her like having a yarn with Roxy and Maney about me, and then it just like I just got really frustrated because when I feel like someone's being shady, I often call them out on their bullshit, like I did with

Lockie at the end that path. Yeah, so little things like that where I was just like, I was getting frustrated in that moment, and then I said, look, Irena, I was like, I've just heard some things during lockdown that Steph and Easy have told me you said to them. So we started talking about it, and then Steph had overheard Irena say I never said that, and then Steph got the shits and came over and she was like, just let me clarify here. You're telling me that you

never said that. If you didn't say that to me, and you weren't talking about it for the hour flight back on the plane to Melbourne. What are we talking about? Then? Easy then came and sat down and that's when it all kind of came to a head, and Steph was getting upset and I was just like, you know what,

it doesn't matter. I was like at the end of the day, I think I turned around and I said to her, I was like, Irena, if I've been body shaming you and I'm this horrid person that you're making me out to be, why do you want to sit here and be friends with me again? I mean, I feel for Arena as well, because she would obviously be in the same place as you and probably have been in contact with Lockie all the time and thinking that she was the only one exactly who it was going

to be. So I do really feel for her, and also for the fact that, like you are pitted against each other, you are in competition, and it does put

incredible strain on those frames. But watching it back on TV as a viewer, you only get a very small sliver of what actually happens, because you've got to remember, we're filming all day every day, for months and that's all condensed down into two one hour episodes a week, and so it's very easy to take things and rechange the context of an argument or a fight and create it's a show. It's entertaxactly, and it's amazingly entertaining, but it's also real people's lives that are on the other

end of this as well. Yep. And I think at the end of the day, right, like Irena and I had been given a lot of reassurance, so coming back in we were both so in love with this man that like even looking back and thinking of the little things that started that argument, and I'm like, ultimately it was just like he said, she said, she said this, and then you got the shits and blah blah blah, blah blah, And it's like, ultimately we were just two women that were in love with the men and didn't

want that to get in the way of us having our happily ever after. So it was just it all came to a head. And also you're in that situation that pulls emotions out of you in ways that you wouldn't really react that way that quickly, So I think, like, yeah, there are probably some things that I should have internalized, but I.

that lockdown has changed the dynamic of the conversations. I can only assume that if you were receiving that level of reassurance from Lockie, that Irena was probably receiving the same, of course, And that is incredibly conflicting and a really difficult thing to come back into the mansion, especially when you're both talking about your own personal experiences and saying, oh, well, I spoke to him every day, and then you're being told by him that, well, I haven't spoken to anybody

else like this, but there's someone else there saying It's like, who's lying in the exact way. So this is like one of the things that I got frustrated about was I was keeping everything to myself, And Lockie actually said that to me. He was like, I really appreciate the fact that everything we've spoken about, you haven't gone and told the other girls. You're not telling them how much we talk. You're keeping it all to yourself. And he was like, thank you for being so.

going to favor him. You're gonna believe him, So you're gonna be like, well, you're lying, Arena, because he wouldn't have told me this if it wasn't exactly ya.

end of this episode. That's what happens every year. I mean every year there's things that come out in the media. There's always stories that are perpetuated that that push a certain narrative, you know, there's always I mean I remember when when it was Matt and My season, and the story was that we had a secret pack from the beginning, we knew each other before the show, and it was always going to be me at the end. Obviously that's not true. It never happened, But there's still people out

there who believe that. Yeah, and it's the one person that says it, and then five media it's big en up and then all of a sudden, it came from my mouth and it's like what Yeah, And all of a sudden, because the media is reported on it and

it's become viral news, it also becomes fact. Yeah. And that's the thing that I think can be most frustrating when you're in this position, and it's a position that like nobody can prepare you for when everyone's talking about you and you don't have the ability to say, hey, that's not true, this is what happened, This isn't my

side of the story. Yeah, it has been. It's been like, honestly, I've been learning new things about myself every day with all the stuff that's been coming out in the media. So it's kind of just like, yeah, I'm keen to debunk some of those rumors with you guys, that's for sure.

But I think I have said it to people in the past and it has just like kind of kicked me while I was down, and I think saying I love you and not hearing it back is probably the hardest thing you'd ever have to deal with, and having that in two relationships before this, I think I was just petrified knowing that if I say it, I actually won't be able to hear it back in this situation. So it was really scary for me and just opening

myself up to being in love again. And that's why I was so upset at Hometowns because I was so in love with him at Hometowns. When that stuff happened with Irena, I knew I loved him, but I don't. I was still a little bit like you're still on that journey. So it was kind of like I knew I loved him, but I hadn't admitted it to myself yet. But Hometowns was that the head where it came to, and I was like, holy crap, Like I'm genuinely in love with this person, and that petrifies me.

but he their relationship is actually blessed. I got a kick out of that night because I love saying my dad and my stepdad in the same room because they're so different, like they are literally it's literally like you know when you have the two relationships in your life, and like one was the makes sense passionate you know, sorry, that makes sense, Like we were together for so long and then that's the natural thing to do is to

get married and have babies. And then the other one is the guy that was like the you know, the passion and like yeah, So it was like it's funny seeing them both together because it's literally both sides of my mom in one room. But he is thirteen years younger than mom. So they met when he was twenty one and she was thirty three, so he I think that's why when some people are like, oh, like men mature later or young men don't know what they want,

and it's like, well sometimes they do. It's just so hilarious because I had this conversation with brit all the time and I'm like, you really need to up your radius on Tinder and stopped ye old by.

we got on like a house on fire. Ellie is one of the people I'm closest to in the world now and exceevert britty. But my meeting, like when they showed it on the TV, that was actually something that was such a trigger for me because the way that it was edited and watching me meet Matt's mum back was made to look like I was completely neurotic. It made it look like I was an insane person and that me and his mum didn't get along at all,

which is completely not what happened. But when I watched you guys meet, which one, it was weird because you were together and that's never meant to humming. You were very quick to talk about your friendship with Arena and the fact that you weren't friends anymore, and that's what it looked like. But I was sitting there watching it being like, I feel like you've got prompt by this,

so I want to know what happened there. We were just having a chat, talking about like we're talking about the whole experience, and then she actually whipped out the question, being like, so I've heard you guys used to be really close friends. Producers asked me to ask you this question, literally, so I have to ask this question. I could see in her face She's like, so what happened? And I'm like,

here we go. And then I actually waited for a little bit because I was like oh, and then I was like, is Irena gonna And I was like, here we go. Goal just answer it because I'm not going to sit here awkwardly while his mother's staring at me. And I'm like, but I think that's why I kind of just answered. I was like, I'm not going to lie to my potential future mother in law. So I was like, look, yeah, we used to be close. We're not that close anymore. And then Irena literally was just

sitting there. So I was like, hey, Rena, like pop in anytime you want, like, and she was just like and I was like, oh, it's really interesting getting that context though, because I think, like when you watch it on the show, it really does seem like you're just

offering us a nation freely. But often oftentimes when conversations do pop up, it's because you've been prompted to have those conversationally, You've been asked a specific question, and then obviously questions can be easily removed to allow the conversations seem like it's taken a different turn. But that's why it looked like I was just like trying to pipe in constantly, and I was like, I'm really alone away, but it was it was, yeah, pick me, pick me.

She's like, I think you have that like the passion in you to put Locky in his place when he needs to be put in his place. And I think that's one thing that she did say, And she was like, look like often Locke thinks it's his world and you know everyone else is living in it. But I think I kind of even said to her, I was like, well, you know, I was Locky. As long as Lockie is going to take some of my wants and needs into

consideration as well, then that's sweet. But I actually don't know if that's like, I don't know if I don't know if that's actually true. Yeah, because I think, like I think he said, and he even said that to me. He's like, I love that you're passionate. I love that you have your own I love that you have your own goals and where you want to be and stuff

like that. But now I look back and I'm like, do you like I wonder if I actually really hate the conversation and like, I mean this is more just from a relationship perspective, yeah, Like I hate this idea that as women you have to keep your man in line. And I mean we've had this conversation around Bachelor in Paradise when Britt had her experience with Tim, and one was sort of messaging on social media being like, you know, get your man in line. He should be behaving like this, and.

like throwing doing stupid shit under the waters. Can I swear even sweat the time we were doing it, like we were just having like if you and your boyfriend were in a pool. We were just having a laugh, having champagne. So when they were like, have a chat about your future, and it was like, but we've already spoken about everything, so that's why it was like when he was like, oh, what do you see in your future?

And I kind of said to him, I was like, you know, we said that we're going to be in Sydney until March and then we'll go from there and just get out of this and just normalize again, because I think it's been this constant in between filming, filming, not filming, dating other women, Like let's just get out of this and then we'll figure out everything after. And

he was constantly saying like he would contradict himself. He'd be like, I'm not a planner, so like, you know, I just want to know that, you know, because I know that you're a planner. Is like I just want to know if we can balance each other out. And I was like, yeah, like you know, I'm yes, I'm a planner. Like I'm not gonna up and leave and move to Greece in a week, but give me a

few weeks and we can make it happen. Or like when he was like, where do you see yourself in the next three months, and it's like, well, I don't know, it depends on you know, are we going to be in Sydney, We're going to be in Perth. That's a decision we have to make after And he's like, well, I've already planned out three months and I'm like, but

you just told me you want a planner. So I was just kind of getting confused, and that's why I grabbed his face and I was like, Lucky, at the end of the day, I don't care what we do after this, as long as we're together, because ultimately, that's all I cared about. I don't care if we're sitting in on a tent eating sausages over a fire. I don't care if we're on the floor or a restaurant. At the end of the day, let's just do us. But that obviously wasn't enough for him, so it was it.

crazy that everything we want is exactly the same. And then at the end his excuse to me was like, literally the night before, at midnight, he had said we are on exactly the same timeline, that it's crazy. Then finale he was like, I just feel like our timelines don't match. And I was like, and they cut that, so they cut him saying our timeline was perfect, and then they're like, our timelines don't match, and I was like, what the hell.

up with the girl that comes along. That's more all this and all that so I think in that moment that's why I was just like, I am not I've done that in the past where I'm going to say or I've said what i feel like he wants to hear, so you know, my previous relationships. But this time I was like, I'm not doing that again. If someone's gonna love me, they're gonna love me for me. And I think that's why I was just like, you know, at the end of the day, what I'm saying to him

isn't what he wants to hear. Then obviously it's just not.

me yesterday, Like something doesn't make sense. It's not adding up. Either IRENA's already left or he's told her he loves her too, and that no one would confirm it with me, and no one put that in my head. It was just me like I was just something didn't feel right, and I think I wasn't letting myself believe it until I was in that moment and I was hearing him say I love you and there's no one else in this but us. So I think for me, once I was walking up to him, I kind of just like,

I don't know. A part of me was like, am I wigging myself out? Am I trying to like balance my expectations? Am I just so? I just I was confused that whole day. I was just a mess.

what is going on? But I think always and like the reality of the show and the way that it works is that you never feel one hundred percent at the end, like I was convinced it wasn't me. Yeah, like I was. And even though Matt, even though he wasn't verbal and never affirmed I love you, which I think Lockie really took that upon himself, like he really broke like the one Bachelor Cardinal's saying, which is like they never say I love you. And I said that

to him. I was like, you went unnecessarily above and beyond. There are things that you did not have to say, And I said, yes, you had to. You had to explore connections, and you had to be in the moment with those people. You did not have to tell me you loved me and that you want to make me had the rest my life. There are things that you did not have to do. And I think, yeah, I guess I kind of just called him out on his

shit and he probably just didn't like that. So was there anything else that happened in that finale day that we didn't see? Yeah, and I want to know that, got it. I might have like just before turning to the cameras and be like, can I leave? Oh my god,

what do you say? Tell me? I looked at him and he was I love you and no, like I do, and I meant everything I said, and I was like, you've got on a tattooed on your chest, mate, And that's when I looked at the cameras and I was like, it's actually so great, and I was like I looked at I looked at the cameras, and I was like, can I leave? And I saw like all of the crew were like sitting there and like had their hands over their face and like a few of them were crying.

Others were like yes, get a girl, get it. And then they were all just like nodding their heads like yeah, leave, and I was just like I'm going. He screamed when after I walked off, scream He literally screamed at the top of his lungs.

I drank a bowl of wine. I drank a triggered I drank too. I'm way too pregnant to watch a Bachelor finale right now. I need some wine in my life. But I think, you know, the finales are always emotional. I don't think there's ever been a finale where you haven't or that you know, collectively Australia hasn't really banded behind the person who's been heartbroken. But I think in this instance, because it was taken so far and because he really did affirm his feelings for both of you,

it just took it to a whole new level. And it also I don't know if this is a fair thing to say, because I kind of I actually really feel sorry for Irena Unlockey now, but I think it took a shine off their finale because usually I love you as never said and then until it's the one thing that held and kept kind of sacred for the last two people, and then all of a sudden it had been said so many times in an episode that it had lost its meeting a little bit. Yeah, I

mean it's that one moment as well. Like even when I watched you and Matt's finale and when he was telling you he loved you, and I bloody started crying because I was like, it's so beautil love is so nice and I love each other, and I think, like you, it's that moment of like that like overwhelming feeling of

love that everyone ultimately wants to find. So like I think in that moment, for me, I was just like, That's why I was so confused when he'd said it, because I was like, but that was supposed to be like at the the end, I just I don't know, it felt weird. I do, like I have to admit, like I do ultimately like, yes, he's not the person for me, but if they're soulmates or if they're in love with each other, then like I do genuinely wish

them happiness. It just I just think he probably should have been a little bit more careful with his words. That's all.

because it resonated with me. But when you said, no one ever loves me as much, I'm as me and I'm never good enough for anyone and I'm never the one, And I think it's important.

you haven't met that matching soul yet. But so yeah, it's really important to know that that it's not it's not you personally, and it's just your stars were almost aligned and they will one day. But this just this is wasn't in unfortunately, hope.

what's happening with everybody else. So I think that there's closure in that, but there's also another another heartbreak in that as well. Yeah, And I think as well though, like that's the thing, like, yes, it broke my heart, but watching it back, I'm like, I want to find someone that wants to be with me and knows they want to be with me. I don't. I'm sick of being with these people that give me all the reassurance up until the last minute, and they're like, oh, psych.

even if on that day you haven't decided. Let's give Lachlan the benefit of the dart that he didn't know who he was going to pick. The fact that you are reckless in the moment with your words and gives so much validation and reassurance to someone only sets the

bar so much higher for that level of heartbreak. It only puts them so much further down down that rabbit hole of thinking and feeling confident and feeling in directed and feeling loved that I think it was a really reckless way of going about the finale, and I think that that's why everyone was so angry, and everyone has beanned behind you to support you, because it was incredibly

devastating to watch. Yeah, and I'm been like, I've been so overwhelmed with the love that I've been getting, And obviously there are still those fair few like messages that I'm getting that's like, well you deserved it, it's your karma for how you treated Arena, and it's like, well, I'm like, come on, guys, Like it's it's so unnecessary to be doing that kind of stuff, especially on social media, when like a couple of weeks ago, it was are

you Okay? Day, and it's like, well you're so many people will put on their stories like check if your friends are okay, but they're very quick to comment on someone's photo that they don't know who they are and judge them off something that happened on TV. So I think for me, I was just like all the love has just been like, I'm so grateful for it all. I mean, social media is a pretty can be a pretty dark place, and something that I have realized over

the years is that we're very negatively geared. So you might receive a thousand really nice comments or compliments, or you know, you might receive twenty thousand likes photo. That's twenty thousand people saying I like this, and then you've go with their life the one that one nasty comment really just cuts through and it has so much more weight in how you value yourself. And that was something that took me a really long time after the show

to get over. Remember that you can't even you can't even put a nice comment on my photo without people being like how dare you and off like she's one of my good mates, but also like I who was it? Katy Perry, Katie, I've got a really wise quote for you. From Ka Katy Perry, You've dropped it a few times. I love it. Though, Katy Perry once said, you know, there's two worlds. There's the real world and there's a

social media world. And social media world is really fucked and the real world is really great, and you just have to choose which world you want to live in. So, if you're going to get your validation from the things that people who you don't know say to you online, yeah,

then your your validation then becomes so instable. Whereas if you live your life with the people who love you and what you know is true and you know like the person who you are, yeah, then I think that that's where you find your happiness, and you dip into this one every so often whatever you want to.

in love with him any anymore. I think I just genuinely thought he loved me, like I genuinely thought he was in love with me. And I think watching it back was a lot. It still hurts, obviously, because it's just happened. This is my Literally, it's the first Monday of the first week. I feel like I'm finally free. So no, I'm not in love with him anymore. But like you know, it's not like I wish I could just like erase it from my memory and wish it never happened. But that's just not going to happen.

going to question that. And I think in the past, like you, you'd hear that and you'd think, like, isn't that pretty obvious? But no, I think it's like for me, it's even more just solidified now. I'm just like, I'm not going to take shit when people are just giving me reassurance if their actions don't match up.

did you know Locky before filming? No? No, I like, unfortunately, sorry, Lockie, this obviously isn't going to help his ego. But I had no idea who he was. Never watched Survivor, never heard of him, never nothing, So I actually didn't know who he was either.

acting lesson. I've never been paid to. Like, I like, can't you tell when people are like, oh, she's obviously really bad at acting? Yeah, because I'm not acting. Who can't wait to see you on neighbors? He was, God, Yes, sorry, apparently I want to follow in San Frost's footsteps. Doesn't she's very successful?

male manager in my life. Turns out he's the angry ex of my the girl that used to manage me on my social media a couple of years ago I've only ever had one manager, and her name was Alice, and she was like helping me with like getting jobs on my social media at one point, because I am a freelance creative, so a lot of what I do is create photos and content for this is a fancy word for doing influence. Okay, guys, I've been an influencer for like four years.

moved to La. I'd actually dropped her like probably about a year and a half to two years before that, and I think even in his quote or whatever, he was like, oh, yeah, no, she's been she's still been getting work with us this year, and I'm like, what who are you? Like, I mean, they all come out of the woodwork, don't They were there three seconds of fame. Okay, So after you moved to La to pursue your acting career,

is that where you were dating Cody Simpson. Yeah, because that's the other rumor honestly, so I know, I okay might have had a thing with Cody. Like one night, long, long, long time ago. I was at a bar for Valentine's Day because my ex had just recently broken up with me, and my girlfriends were like, that's it, It's Valentine's Day. We're going out for a few drinks. And this really cute blonde brought me a rose. Don't even yet it was I have a thing with roses. They just keep

coming up in my life. So yeah, he bought me a rose and then slow dance with me around Mississippi and Double Bay and it was just like once. It was like one of those things where you're like, this is really cute and I was like, who is this guy? And then that was literally we ended up like staying like we were. Literally that was it. It was just that one night.

who has no acting experience. And can I just say I literally can't win because the first two weeks of the show coming out, apparently I had a pre organized pact with Lockie and I had a contract that meant I was going to be with him until the end, and one of the girls in the house apparently said that I told everyone that didn't happen, But now the end of it, I've got a contract that says a runner up. So I can't win either way.

watching you squirm and I'm like I jump in. I'm like, I haven't moved this whole time, and now I'm like all of a sudden, like Brittany's just jealous because she's not getting any at the moment.

And also congratulations for like keeping your shit together after what was a very brutal back break, at least in public anyway, Have I had my shit together? I think you've done really well considering considering the rollercoaster that is being on the Bachelor. Thank you for like having me on and just like being able to let me chat and say what has actually been happening through this whole wicked experience. So thank you.

but get used to it. There's some paparaz shots of me from when I was pregnant with Marli and I was wearing a white bikini and I had laid in something that was like a bit dirty without realizing, and so it looks like I have my full pubic hair on display. Except I don't have pubic care, so it's definitely not it. But every single there's like a hundred comments on Daily Mail and people like, she really needs to sort of a gig.

I talk about Malley's daycare every single week. I'm sure they're doing a great job, but she's come home possessed and she won't let me put her down, she won't stop screaming. She had her first full toddler tantrum yesterday where she lay on the ground on her back, kicking and screaming her arms because she couldn't find a puzzle piece that she wanted. Yeah, it's like it was intense.

I walked outside. I was like, girlfriend, you need to sort your ship and busty, you've got this watcher and so I took it a daycare this morning at seven thirty because I was like, somebody else needs to parent my child. So that has been my suck and my sweep for the week is that on Saturday night, I got to go out for dinner for my girlfriend's birthday and I escaped. I just escaped. It was so nice. That sounds really lame, but for any mum's out there

will know what a big deal that is. I got to get away from Matt that come to get away from Malie, and I went out and had a really beautiful dinner. So that was my that's my sweet. You deserve a one, Yes I do, but I didn't have one. But I did deserve one, Thank god, you deserve one. In three months, three and a half months and a half months. This baby's coming so soon. It's actually scares the pants off me. All right, Grinnie, what is your suck? My suck?

couple of shots, and yeah, it was yeah. And then he also gave me a really bad hangover the next day, but don't hold it against him. Yeah, but it was so sweet because he was just like, you know, I just he was like, I'm sure you get this a lot, but like, you know, I'm assuming this is your first night out and blah blah bla. And I was like, that's really sweet because he was like, you know, he was he was like, I'm Greek and my son, my son is single, and I was like classic Greek. But

it was really it was. It was one of those moments where I was like, Okay, like it's not all bad, like it's you know, it's agrateful.

happy that you are free. I mean, I wish I could say that we're so happy that you're happy in love, but we're just happy that you're free and that you're able to now like live your life in a very authentic way and you can talk about everything and just can be you again, which is something that I know you really you really missed for that period when you are in still yeah, furgetry a feeling. Well, guys, thank you so much for listening to another episode of Life Uncut.

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