This episode was recorded on cameragle Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life.
I'm out, I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.
What just happened.
I'm laughing at what I just said. I just literally before we recorded it was supposed to be off Mike, but I'll just say it.
Fuck it.
I was like, I'm weirdly irrationally jealous at my fiance's sister.
Yeah, BRIT's soon to be sister in law. Britt has like is it retroactive jealous? No, come about strain, It's.
Just like jealousy.
You're just jealous.
I'm just jealous. Yeah, but like obviously irrational. They're related and nothing's going on.
You did say Ben is currently on a cute date with his sister, and I was like, that's not actually how it is.
No, because Ben never posts anything on his Instagram. And I woke up this morning and there was a photo on his on his story and I was like, oh, what's his posted? At the most it's like a pair of goalkeeping globs, like that's what you posts? And I
was like, what do you post it? I went on there and there's like this beautiful photo this sister Becky and they're on at this cute little table in Italy, like she's visiting and she's got an apero spirits and she's all dressed in beautiful fashion and they're having like little canolis and treats and they're like that should be me, and I was like, yes, I was like I should be there having connoli. And then he sends me another pastor.
He's like, just off to this cute restaurant for an ugli at olio and then we're going to sorry, what it's a pasta, and then again and it's Mitch Cheery's favorite pasta. Then they're going to it. He's like, tomorrow we're going to port Afino and I was like, okay, stop it. I was like, I'm weirdly jealous that you and your sister are doing everything that.
I wish I was doing.
I'm sorry that you're just here with us, and I'm here with you a lot dancing unfortunately in the morning.
Do you know what is funny? Though?
So last night, So Ben doesn't get many weekends off, so he's been trying to plan his Bucks party with his friends for quite a while because we've planned mine, like we know when my Hen's party is it's well planned in advance. I've looked after everything and then I've hand did it over so it's organized for everyone.
The planning of your HENS party has been going on since January.
It is a well oiled machine of planning.
My Hens is more planned than my wedding.
I would agree, yeah, no it is.
My wedding's not planned yet. Great wedding planner, but Ben and I have been stalling on some things. The wedding plan is not to play it.
I'm the problem.
Poor Amelia, my wedding planner. She's messaged me last three days in a row. She's like, hey, just chasing again. We really need to lock some stuff. And I was like, oh, just let me get through my dancing. I was like next week, I'm yours. So anyway, well oiled machine. So last night I was talking to my sister Sherry and Jay on FaceTime and they said to me, Hey, look, can you like try and sus Ben out and get him to lockdown a weekend for the bucks so that
everyone else can plan it. He's like, cause we're there's a lot of moving parts, a lot of people have got to travel from different countries. Jay has to fly in from Scotland and flights are going up and up. So she's like, can you just tell him to lock something in because Ben is really disorganized. He's not a good planner. So I messaged Ben. I said, Babe, pull your finger out, pick a weekend, tell the boys so
that they can plan it. And I was like, this isn't something that people can just do in three days time, Like people need to know they have jobs that they need to take off. I was like, just pull your finger out, and he's like, oh, okay, I'll speak to my best man, you know, over the next couple of days left it. Then I woke up this morning. This is like eleven pm last night. I woke up this morning in a cool band and he goes, ah, well, you little plan didn't work, Brittany what And I was
like what And he's like I know? And I was like what do you know? He's like, did you think you could keep it from me this weekend? And I was like, babe, I actually.
Have no idea what you're talking like, I'm not coming.
I was like, I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. I was like, I'm really confused, and he's like, no, you tried to play it on me last night. I figured it out and I was like, ben stop. I was like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And he's like, my buck's being this weekend?
Is it this weekend?
And I was like, no, what's not. I was like, baby, your bucks is not this weekend.
I also am not organizing your bucks.
So like, if you think that I'm here in Australia organizing your bucks for you, you have a really like misled perception around what's happening with this wedding.
He goes, I know you're trying to throw me off the scent. He was really adamant. I was like a baby, like all my life. I was like, your bucks is not this weekend. I was like I like, I don't want you to think that this is something's happening that's not. And he's like, yeah, well, you messaging me last night telling me to pull my finger out and pick a weekend to plan it when it's this weekend. And this went on and on and on, and I couldn't get him to believe me that I have no idea what
he's talking about. So it turns out his Bucks is this weekend?
Are you okay?
Right?
It was just it wasn't it meant to be a surprise.
No, So what happened was I messaged him last night and said pull your finger out. So he messaged his best man and said, hey, like, let's get this going. So, in true boy fashion, they literally planned it that night for in two days time, they just called all their group chat messaged, everyone, booked a flight, everyone's going to Italy, and in two days time they're having a bus party.
I don't understand. None of these people have children or wives or like jobs. Yeah, pretty much like or anything that they need to be home for.
Not only one person has a kid and everyone else has like a Monday to Friday job. And Europe's different, I guess because everywhere is like a flight, it's like an hour. Do you have any feelings of like, I have feelings of jealousy that I've planned mine for four months and you're doing it in two days? Don't know, but you know that yours will be better like his will just be they'll just go to a pubble something.
But like, do you feel weird that he's having his bucks and you're like not there for any of it.
I don't mean at the Bucks, but I just mean like that. It's like there's a celebration that he just goes home to his own home and you're like goodbye.
I would have wanted to put like a GPS system in his shoe him around like an air tracker following him around.
Where's he at?
Now? Watch trip clubs out like I can see you through the window. Yeah, I definitely feel jealous that I'm not doing that. No, it is. It is weird. It's weird, yeah, but we get used to it.
Have we got strippers at your hens?
So? I don't know, Sherry asked me the other day. It was so long story short. I made a joke on the podcast ages ago. Remember we were talking about.
Yeah magic my guy, Yeah, looks like Channing Tatum.
So I made the joke. The only I don't want stripper is the only person I'd ever have is that guy that looks like Channing Tatum. Anyway, Fake Channing Tatum heard it on the podcast and messaged me.
He DM me and he was like, hey, come wait for your hands.
He travels fast. You want me? And I was like, oh wow, that really did get around. He's like, look if you want me, I'm yours, name the place.
And I'll be there.
Is it weird to organize your own stripper, though?
Thank you?
When you specifically said that you would only have someone that looks like Channing Tatum, like give you a lap dance, and then here he is.
It kind of feels it feels too close to like this is like a hall pass. Like if I was Ben I'd be annoyed by that.
Like if Matt said, oh, I only want this one stripper and she's really hot, and then she DMed him and then he.
Organized him self. Part of me would be like, that feels close to cheating. She feels suspiciously close to doing the wrong thing. So I passed that information on to those that needed aka you guys, and Sherry forgot about it. And then Sherry called me a couple of days ago and she's like, hey, we need to lock this down. The stripper Chantato changing Tatum, imagine Mike you want him.
I was like, I can't make that decision. I was like, no, if you can, I was like, if you're gonna put me on, I said, I don't want him for me. I said, I don't want him for me. I want him for everyone else or for the entertainment, for the laughs. I was like, I don't want Channing Tatum to come and strip on me.
Oh please?
Nice backtrack, Brittany, Channing Tatum two point zero is coming to strip. You're getting a lap dance. He's just getting a lap dance. I want to be entertained from the side. I just want to I'm here for the dancing. I'm a dancer now, so I want to just I appreciate.
What were you about to say?
Key?
She said, things get more interesting.
Things get more interesting because Sherry and I have been talking with my ultimate hence the team that are organizing it, and no one has clarity on whether you actually.
Want him or not.
Like but Sherry came to me and she was like, I can't work out where the Brits like trying to be like, oh, you know, I don't have been I don't.
She's not nervous. No, you don't book your own stripper. There's like one rule for a hens you don't want me to book it. I can't even say that. I can't have that on record.
I think the issue is is that we keep publicly talking about the same specific stripper on this podcast, and not only is it just between friends, but like nationally, internationally, everybody now knows that there is a man who looks like Chatting Tatum that Brittany wants a lap dance from, and that is getting weird.
I don't want to lap dance from him. She wants to do the charter. I want a samba, I want a samba roll. No. The reason I said he would be the only person I get is because he's not a stripper. Like they don't get naked, but they entertain and the way that they dance is not stripper dance. It's like actually really intense, like it's a show. And that was why he I thought he was different because it's not like the corny cringe where they like rip
their police costume off. They actually dance and they involve the audience in different ways. I just thought if I was going to do it, that'd be my limit. But I don't want anyone to listen to this and be like Brittany's been DM in striper.
I have thank you for clarifying.
I've only ever been to Hens where the stripper has been like it's been a woeful experience, hilarious, but also horrible at the same time, like there wasn't any And I think it's different for men and women, Like I think that maybe this is a little bit gendered, but often female hens parties the stripper it's funny, like.
It's not sexy.
No one's sitting around being like, oh yeah, bring it, give it to me. I don't think so anyway, but like every single time I've witnessed one, it's always been it's like, what is going on?
This is a lot I have a perspective here that I have just realized. I was thinking about it as you were saying that, and I was like, most people are going to find this really weird. I've been to two Bucks parties. I have a lot of mates who are guys who are straight, and so I've actually I've seen the other side as well. I've been at two Bucks parties where they had strippers, and it's kind of similar vibes, Like unless you go to a strip club, I think my experience is at least and I mean
two is pretty limited. But it's kind of just like everyone's in a room. And this is why I find it really interesting when so many people write in fasku and cut to us being like, I can't believe they had a stripper at the Bucks. I'm like, if it was a group situation, it likely wasn't sexual or imagining it to be.
You know, and Ben wouldn't care. Like we're laughing about this. Ben wouldn't care if it was the Magic Mike guy. If I was at some seedy strip club and someone was like hitting in the face with a dick, yeah, Ben would care. But I think that this is different because he's literally a dance so that goes on a national tour that women like pay to go and see.
There's like thirty women coming to my hands. It's quite big. So, if anything, I just thought it would be entertainment more than like like a bucket list ticking, Like it's not like before I die, I want lap dance from training Tatum, Like, that's not what my bucket list to do before I die.
I'm still I'm still sensing that, yes, we should probably organize this, But anyway, I need you you get on it after this record, Brittany.
But seriously, what do you guys think? Do you want him on record? Laura? Do you want him? Do you want Magic Mind? I feel like it would be good for the comedy factor, like I would enjoy the I would enjoy the lolls dance and the comedy is he's a comedy performer, right, I would enjoy it.
For the last I think it would bring an energy. We didn't have a stripper at my hands. What we had was a guy who got naked and we all drew him at like nine am in the morning.
It's weird.
It was weird.
It was like we walked.
Upstairs and that was just a naked person in the middle of the laundry.
Also, can I say so, we booked that house that we stayed on on like a booking app, and everyone put up photos of this like nude guy at nine am and us drawing him, and the person who we booked the house off got really angry because they were like, you're having a raging party.
I was like, guys, we are.
Have English breakfast.
I was like, it was nine am. No one was drinking.
A few people had a mimosa, but everyone was stone cold, sober, just drawing a flacid penis.
It was a life drawing class. It was oddly sophisticated. I thought facisticated. It was so physisticated that we were sitting there in the corner as a natural light. The sunrise was beaming on our face on the flaccid penis drinking like literally English breakfastigue.
It was a wholesome hens.
I feel like people have rages and mine after I think after having two kids and having a HENS party, I was just happy to have a weekend to myself totally.
Well, like I'm on record, I'm not going to ask for the stripper.
Well give disappointed if we don't have it.
I can't answer that. You don't you know me well enough. I would never say if I wanted it.
Funny for people watching on YouTube that audio listeners.
If you're watching this on YouTube, you'll get a good giggle out of that. So I have something to update you guys on and it's very niche. It's very insular, but bear with me. On Thursday night last week it was the am CO Awards, So for people who work in social content online you might know what it is.
The am CO Awards is kind of like the Social Media Awards or the Influencer Awards, content creator awards that take into account like all content creators across Australia, similar to how we have the Podcast Awards that we are always banging on about like once a year it's a very similar thing.
But for people who are content.
Creators, it's Industry award. It's a huge event.
Yeah, and you know, it's an interesting one because I think, as we all know, influencers have a bit of a dirty name still, and there is quite a scale when it comes to the type of work that influencers or content creators do.
They're not all cut the same, and the reason for that is because.
They're like influencers are their own little micro business, right, So some people have better business acumen than other people, and that's just the reality of it. So Matt every year he enters the am CO Awards and he won. I don't know whether it was Content Creator of the Year or whether it was the best content for what he does, which is like he's kind of in a parenting category, right, Yeah, for likening dads and also like the brand stuff that he makes, and Matt takes that
side of his job very seriously. The reason, brit you were dropping smoothie straight down in.
Front of yourself. You're a fucking hot mess.
Today's thinking about history, Farns.
I've had five hours sleep, Hash take dance keep going.
I'm a dancer. So Matt takes content creation very seriously.
And the reason for that is is because you guys might not know this, but before Matt went on The Bachelor, he worked in marketing and he worked in like brand management, so he used to come up with like a lot of the brand concepts that the agency he worked at would end up rolling out into campaigns.
So very good at what he does. He's so good, you know, and that's often why lay the ads that he creates on social media are. They're like very funny and they're kind of a cut above. I would say, without being too biased, i am fucking the talent, but lit a bit by sambit, please do what he.
Does, I'm fucking the talent. Also, the money he makes goes into our bank account, so yeah, I'm.
Click like, got it save.
So he entered the AMC Awards under the parenting category, right like you could be like a mummy blogger or you could be a parenting blogger.
This year it was a bit interesting.
So Thursday night rolls around, it is like the big Awards ceremony, and.
Matt casually says to me, he goes, oh, it's a bit weird.
This year, the pets category didn't get enough entries, so they've merged the pets category with the parenting category, like they've taken And when I say pets, I don't mean like people who talk about their pets.
I mean the pet is the person you know.
Where pet content creator yea, like when you when you.
Dress your dog up or your dog has an Instagram.
So am Co just merged people who are parents and actual pets together as the one category. Why would that be the category that you merge it with. They have nothing to do with each other.
I was like, why not merge it with like cooking.
Or lifestyle lifestyle makeup?
I get makeup, I get them.
Saw not tested on an animal like contour and chiaa.
I get the thought that they're kind of like, oh, I guess you know, like if you have a pet, like you're a pet parent. But this isn't even pet parent content. It's the actual pets. So it's like it's like pet personality.
Like the Hamsters Instagram.
Yeah, so Matt and the pets and the parenting and the pets.
It's so stupid they all got amalgamated into this one parenting in pet category. How many pets entered, I don't know.
But there was I have no idea how many people were entered, but there was five people who were shortlisted. There were four humans and one pet. Anyway, it comes down, it's like we're all sitting there the suspense. They're like, and the finalist, ah, and I am gonna I'm gonna be honest, Like I was like quietly confident in Matt.
I really was, you know. I started recording him from the side because I was like, just in case, yeah, obviously he's not gonna he might not win it, but I was like, in case he does good content that he can then use later on, you.
Want that moment.
So I'm filming him and they're calling out the short list and they go and the winner is beloved.
Cat Chef Princess Honeybell and everyone, so, what's her name on me ow cat Chef Princess Honeybell, who has six hundred thousand followers. She's a cat.
She's a cat, a real cute cat.
If you're gonna lose, She's not pretty privileged.
She's a ginger cat that wears like really cute berets and pink vest. But everyone around us because everyone was like, yes, Matt, you've got this, and then the fact that he lost to a cat, it was like this real duplicious room.
Half the people were.
Like yes, Haney Bell, and the other half were just absolutely fucking hysterically laughing, and like, imagine the morale of someone who loses to a cat doesn't even have a posable thumbs a feeline.
Matt lost? How does it even post?
Was the cat there?
What was it? Sixceptance speak?
Was the cat there? Do you know? Matt had a Demi Moore moment? That's an exact Demi Moore moment. Demi Moore had a moment at the Oscar is just like this week where everyone thought she was a shoeing. Everyone was filming her exactly like you were filming Matt, Like the Oscar cameras were on Demi and because she's won the whole award season for substance for that real life protest, and she it looked like it was shoeing. And then
she didn't win. She won to someone that no one expected, and the camera was on her face, and it caught her face and it caught her looking to everyone, and then the camera quickly panned away but Matt had the Demi Moore moment.
But that's also such a setup because the cameraman know who the winners are going to be.
So that's unfair.
That is, it's also unfair to lose to a cat.
And the parents of category even have kittens.
The cow the cat's never even had kids.
Goddamn it, they had sex, so well maybe, I mean that's not Princess honey Bell would never do such.
No, she wouldn't have so okay. So the thing that's even funnier than this is like obviously everyone had a chuckle. And I don't say this against the cat Instagram page, like if you go on, no, because the content creator behind it, the woman who actually creates these videos, like you would have to have the patience of a saint to create the type of content that she creates alongside her cat.
Or a really well trained cat or a.
Really well trained cat. But the content is great. It's just the irony of losing to a cat in the parenting category. But the thing that kind of was really the icing on the cake. So what happens is that there's one hundred and seventy two winners of the night, and of those, one hundred and seventy two winners.
They choose the content creator of all of Australia.
So I'm talking like, you've got Yeah, you've got your Sky Wheatley's, You've got your Laura Henshaw's, you've got your Steph Claire Smith's.
Like I'm thinking think of any like.
You've got comedy, You've got everything.
Your favorite content creator online, Like everybody is in categories against each other, and it's like the finalest of the number one best in the country. Stop and I would just like to tell you who who Australia's number one content creator is.
Chef Honeybee Kitty Cat.
It's beloved cat, Chef Princess honeybell a cat is.
A better content creator than all the humans in Australia. Fair. This is pre the cat didn't come. She didn't even accept her.
Do you know what is the most devastating thing?
Are you still thinking about a bridge? Yeah?
I actually had a mind fuck, I'm blanked. Do you know what the most devastating thing is? I feel like if you want to lose to an animal, it'd be easier to lose to a dog. Don't you think it's the fact that it's a cat.
I think for Matt it would have been easier because he quite likes dogs and he's a little bit anti cats, so I think it really hit a sore spot for him. But I'm all for it. I love cats, and I also I genuinely mean this. The content that she creates is incredible. It's very very good, it's very clever. I don't want anyone to think that I'm slagging it. I just found it deeply funny that a cat was better than every human.
No a, yeah, absolutely, to a new level.
But do you think it's actually nicer to kind of like, at least lose a cat. No, I mean like he lost in his category, but then the cat also won all of the categories.
No, because the cat would have won the whole thing anyway. Fine, but at least Matt would have won his category and the cat could have wanted to take cat cat to category.
Yeah.
Perfect, But there, I don't know. I'm not about about inclusiveness, but not when you're putting animals in parenting and then the parent loses the category to the cat. That's harsh. Congrat's honeybell chef, Princess cat.
I think it's okay. I don't think. I think that's fine. He's absolutely okay. He's recovered.
He is devo next week.
Bust is involved in all of your content, and that's like I'm pivoting.
To be fair, I just posted a video of Busted today.
Start now to New Year, K you me.
Petstock Foundation, National Pet Adoption Month is coming up. Everyone.
Something that everybody is talking about at the moment is the absolute shit show that is Married at First Sight?
Real hot mess, isn't it well?
And I mean, we have a lot of feelings about it because I feel conflicted. I have always been the one that has said I really enjoy the show. I have love watching it because I have loved the social commentary that the show creates and the ability to dissect really toxic behaviors and then have conversations about them and shine light on them.
So I've always said I've not been able to watch it because I detest it, Like I can't get around almost any of the themes or scenes on that show. I've never been able to. I've tried because I want to be able to have the conversations, and I enjoy the conversations we have about the topics Laura, but watching it has always been so hard for me.
Yeah, and I think the thing.
Is so like this year, as you guys know, I was deep in the I'm a celebrity, get me out of here chat, so like I've not been on top of what was happening in this season and married at first sight. But something that I have noticed throughout every season thus far the reason why it is the only free to air production that is currently still on normal free to air TV that is able to garner the type of viewership that it does, Like it is still
getting the most insane views. It is the only reality TV show that exists where people come to work and they're still talking about it. It's the water cooler chat that once upon a time The Bachelor used to provide, but every single other show has just fallen by the way.
It's because it continues to push so many boundaries.
Yeah, and this is it.
The reason why every single year the ratings seem to increase is because it's almost like the Jerry Springer effect that you were talking about recently, kish this idea that every season something more fucking crazy, more outrageous, things that really sit and make you feel so deeply uncomfortable in
terms of your moral compass. We're pushing further and further every single season, and I feel as though the conversations that have come out of this season of merret at First Site is really the first time that I've looked at it and been like, Okay, what we're watching is not congruent with the social commentary gain that we're receiving out the back end of merrit at First Site.
Now, for some of you.
Who might not be on top of what has been happening or haven't read the news in the last couple of days, there's been one really significant incident. There's actually been loads of smaller things, but one very significant incident that has really taken over the public discourse around this. That is that Paul Antoine, who's thirty one years old, he punched a hole in the door of Karna, his
wife's apartment, So he was in a bedroom. He punched a hole into the door, and it wasn't caught on camera, but it was discussed heavily around his quote unquote remorse and his reaction to why he did it. Now, to set that up and to give you kind of the context as to why Karna had spoken about how she had had a sexual relationships with a rapper, and she told people in the group Paul was so overcome by his feeling of disrespect, his absolute.
Ego, innes syndrome.
Whatever you want to call it, that he was so enraged by this. He made it away to Karina that he was, and that he handled his emotions around it so poorly that it resulted in him being so filled with anger that he couldn't and I don't want to say he couldn't control it, because absolutely everyone can, but
he ended up punching a wall. The reason why that this has become such a point of conversation, and it has really, I think crossed such an incredible line is because this idea that violence as the outcome for not being able to control your emotions, being played out on national free to air TV, seems to go so deeply against all of the conversations and all of the progress that we're making in terms of domestic violence, violence against women,
intimidating behavior, and I think that people are really now calling for the show to show some sort of responsibility to this safety and the welfare of the participants that they have within the show. I would love to just play this little part for you, because obviously the act of punching Adoor is incredibly intimidating, especially when you take into context the fact that Karina and Paul don't know each other well, they've been dating for a short period
of time. The type of intimidation that that creates in an environment where you're expected to sleep in the same room as your partner is something that I think calls for a lot of questions. But there was another side of this, and it was his apology afterwards, where he managed to re victimize himself and blame Karna for the reasons that he behaved the way he behaved.
To have listen to this, I was really upset and I was so so angry at that that comment in the cab. It just felt I felt so uncomfortable and disrespected, Like I was just like, well, what the help? I just felt like an idiot.
I couldn't really take your apology sincerely because I was like, you're saying you're sorry, but then you're adding it butt does that make sense? I just wanted some space to get my head straight because I'm the kind of person like when I when I get held emotional, I can't have a constructive chat. And I feel like it's the fact that you couldn't give me that space I needed. You got to all upset at me, that the fact that I wanted to leave the girl for a whoopie.
Would you were really you were really angry.
At me, and you were like, well, if if that's what you want to just yeah, you go like, I'm your wife, and you just you kind of you just you.
You were like, then leave and you you just get hell upset and.
Relaxed, so dramatic, and it's pissing me off.
Now I'm getting angry because you saw for nothing. So straight off the back of that, you would think, oh cool, this is the end of him. There is no way he'll be allowed to continue on this show. But then it cuts to the experts that say, hey, do you know what it looks like he's apologetic. He can continue on. Karina also said she wanted him to stay on the show. He said he wanted to continue on the show, and they just allowed it.
Yeah, there was this.
I mean, the experts themselves reprimanded him on the couch for his like a boring behavior, but instead of there being real life consequences, which is if you display violence. You should be removed from the show, but also not just removed from the show. There's like an obligation of safety that the production has to Karna and also to
other contestants. Rather than putting volatile people who clearly do not have the emotional eq to be able to control themselves on a TV show, they prioritize production over safety these instances.
Now this has gone further.
There's currently an inquiry from Safe Work New South Wales. The department is looking into the incident, according to the Daily Telegraph and also Channel nine and endemol Shine has released a statement. Now I wanted to read this because there's a couple of parts of this that I wanted to really unpack based on the experience that we have had when we did reality TV quite a while ago. So nine and endemol Shine Australia have treated this matter extremely seriously.
Our first priority.
At all times has been the well being and safety of the participants and after extensive consultation with Karina, she wanted to remain in the experiment with Paul. We continue to provide support for Karina and for Paul. Nine and endemol Shine take their obligation in respect to the health and wellbeing of all participants of this program. Extremely seriously. All participants have access to the show's psychologists and welfare
resources during filming, during broadcasts, and once the program has ended. Now, firstly, I think it should be relevant whether Karina or Paul want to stay in the experiment. For Koreina safety, she should not be allowed to stay. For Paul's behavior, he should not be allowed to stay. There should be consequences
for violence. The second part to this is, and I don't have the answers to this, but I can only give my understanding from when I was on The Bachelor and what the rules and regulations were at the time. So when we were on The Bachelor, we were also provided with a psychologist to speak to. Her name was Raya, and she was a lovely woman. I have no issues with the psychologists that we spoke to. There were multiple times when I booked in to go and have a
conversation with her. What I was completely unaware about, and what was not described to us as contestants, was that every single conversation we had was then repeated back to producers. So anything you spoke to your psychiatrist about could be used as content against you. It is not a closed loop. It is not a normal situation where you speak to a psychiatrist and there is privacy and tru and you
can get like a real resolution. I don't know whether EndemolShine, whether the setup is the same, or whether over the past seven years there's been advances in this, but I would dare say that the producers on this show know so much about the intricacies of how these relationships work. And also it is their job and it is their obligation to make the best, the most cutting content that they possibly can.
So my experience from The Bachelor and my psychologists I also had Raya was slightly different. Laura and I spoke to her about it, so I also booked into the psychologists and I just straight up asked her, is this a safe space or do you report back at what I say to producers? And she said, whilst it is a safe place and we do not go back and tell them everything that it has happened, if I think something needs to be told, I will say it, And
that's the way she worded it. So she said to me, I definitely don't leave here and go and tell them what the session was. But if you say something that I think could be worrying or that they should need to know, I will say, and I don't know if she was just covering her bite. And I do believe that they don't leave and just say, hey, here's a written word for word of what the session was. But the fact of the matter is that does mean it's
not a safe space. That does mean that everything that you say can and will probably be used against you.
The point that I have an issue with there and in what you're saying, Brit is that it leaves it up to the discretion of the psychologist who is contracted by EndemolShine to choose what information they tell the producers. But the producers aren't mental health workers. They're not people who have your psychological well being at their top priority.
The producer's top priority is to produce a show. So it's an interesting dynamic to me when a psychologist says, oh, this is something that I'm concerned about, and that information is passed down to a producer.
I sit with conflict in myself around this.
Because we spoke to John Aiken from Married at First Sight earlier this year on the radio show, and when we asked him about some of the really troubling aspects like the rain king of people's esthetic, where you rank your partner. It's a you know, it's been a staple of Merriat at First Sight for a really long time. His response was what I have felt about the show
for a long time. He was like, Look, it is a test on one emotional EQ and also it's a really great talking piece for the public to be able to see in real time, like water toxic behaviors. We have these incredible conversations that come off the back of mass where we're able to really dissect a toxic relationship in real time, something that we never get the opportunity to do because we never get to see that insight
into behaviors like gas lighting, behaviors like manipulation. But now I'm left at the point where I'm like, has it gone too far? Is the public discourse not in any way beneficial or is it outweighing the damage that it's doing to these participants. And the reason why I say that and I kind of still sit in this gray area is because this has happened on national TV. It
is a boring and it is wrong. However, we are talking about it, we raise more conversations and more light around what violence looks like, what constitutes violence, Like somebody might be able to rationalize, oh, well, he didn't hit her, He only hit a door, and we're able to sit here and say, well, no, hitting a door is incredibly intimidating behavior.
And I absolutely agree with everything he said. Where the problem comes in, and this is some of the comments that the experts made. Mel Schilling said, this is not normal behavior, sweetheart, This is not how you show love.
This is deeply troubling. Now, this was off the back of Karna really downplaying the incident and saying it was just an emotional response, and then John Aiken backed her up and said this behavior is toxic, inappropriate, and unacceptable, which is a lie because it is acceptable because you're still continuing on the show. And then he goes on and says, if there is any type of violent behavior, you're out. But that's also not true because we've seen
this violent behavior and you're in. So it is acceptable on this show, and it is showing signs of violent behavior. Yes, he didn't physically lay hands on her, but we know that's not the issue. It's intimidation. I agree that math starts incredible conversations with people, and it does continue important conversations like this, but that is only well and good
if we follow through and it has consequences. And he was removed from the show because then we've said, hey, we're starting this conversation and we're showing you it's not okay. All we've done is start the conversation, but we've still accepted that it's okay to continue on with that behavior. So these two for me, are not congruent, and that's where my issue.
Lies with the lack of punishment. I also think it's really interesting. It is very different. I think male violence against women is an incredibly different conversation, and it's something that literally at the moment, everyone is working so hard to speak as loudly about as possible, and we've all seen a shift in the public discourse around that over
the last couple of years. But there has been violence on married at First Sight before, and I think it would be remiss of us to not talk about the violence between Olivia Fraser and Domenica from twenty twenty two, something of which at the time very interestingly because Olivia Fraser was the villain we were super dismissive of what happened.
So you guys might remember there was an altercation at a retreat between Dominica and Olivia, sitting at a table that were sitting across from each other, with some other people there as well. Dominica got very, very angry, and she smashed a glass down on the table.
And then was extremely.
Intimidating in her body language, pointing at Olivia while Olivia was seated down. Now, I know that both those women had spoken to each other poorly and had done different things that were triggering prior to that, But the intimidating, violent behavior that was shown by Dominica at the start, we completely brushed over that.
As a society.
If anything, people actually heralded Dominica for being European and passionate.
I remember that was a discourse around it.
Which is a load of rubbish. It is intimidation.
You know, she didn't wave a glass at Olivia. I know that there was like some mixed information there, but imagine sitting at a table with a group of girls and having someone smash a wine glass on a table and stand over you and scream at you.
Olivia.
Fraser has come out and she said this is not the first time that endemol Shine Australia and Channel nine have excused violence despite what they preach. If there was a zero tolerance policy, then after such displays of violence, participants would rightfully be removed from the show immediately. When something violent happened to me, it was trivialized to start with, but essentially I was told to just get over it.
I wanted to call the police, and I was told I would be risking the jobs of hundreds of people, and I was gilded out of something that I wanted to do to protect myself.
Which is horrible.
When I made it clear that I no longer felt safe living next door to my aggressor, they made a promise that I would never see her unless it was filming a dinner party or a commitment ceremony. Instead, they sent the aggressor knocking on my door with a full film crew and producers, knowing that they were breaking the promise to me, and knowing yet again that I would feel unsafe in the workplace. They wanted to exploit me
feeling safe as much as they possibly could. They wanted to violate my sense of security I had living in that environment, and they did a good job of that. I'm sure so many of you will remember that Olivia Fraser came out really as the villain of that season, and you know, I think a lot of it comes down to production. I think that there were two sides to every story in that situation. I'm not saying that she was absolved of the villain edit and not entirely
undeserving of it. However, there was very obvious violence that was displayed, and like we said, and like Olivia said, this is not the first time that it's played out on national TV. But I do think that the tolerance for it is shifting now, and not the tolerance from a production perspective, but the tolerance as a viewer. We don't want to be seeing it emulated on TV, and I think the public very much are taking a stance against it now.
It's interesting you say that, Laura, because I actually saw the public commentary about this situation before I saw the actual scenes of Married at First Sight, and when I was reading it, I was like, Oh, something really bad has happened here, something really, really, really violent, something incredibly unacceptable has happened, because there has been like outcry would be underplaying it of people saying this show should be canceled,
this person should have been removed. I cannot believe that this is happening. And when I saw it, and I would like for everyone to listen to the rest of my paragraph before you judge me for thinking this, because my immediate reaction was, Oh, that's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I realized that it is absolutely an act of violence and that it shouldn't be something that is accepted on television. It shouldn't be it's something that's accepted anywhere in any of our relationships.
But I think that the standard for what we are willing to accept when it comes to violence on our screens and when it comes to perpetrators of violence on our screens is so fucking low that I was like, hmm, it's interesting to me that people are taking such a stance on this. And I went yesterday and I had a bit of a look at people who have been convicted, not allegations, convicted of violent crimes within Australia who are currently in media on our screens, people like Ben Cousins.
He was jailed three times for drug possession, making threats breaking of violence, restraining order, and stalking of his ex partner.
He was on.
Reality TV last year and he got a breakfast radio job three weeks ago in Perth.
That's absolutely insane.
Matt Lodge currently plays in the NRL. In twenty fifteen, he went into a rampage in New York City. This is a bit of a long one. He followed two tourists into an apartment lobby and told them this is the night you die. He then assaulted a resident of an apartment block who attempted to intervene, and broke into this apartment where a man's wife and children were hiding. He smashed glasses and plates and attempted to punch his way through the locked bathroom to where they were hiding.
He avoided a one year prison sentence with a plea deal. Wayne Kerry. He was on SAS in twenty twenty two. We know the SAS lava redumption from story. He commentated the AFL for ages in a really high, well respected position. In two thousand and seven, he played guilty to two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer after kicking a female police officer in the face. And there are also allegations of glassing, ex partners, violence within his relationships.
All that kind of thing has existed for a really long time. Just last year, Bondi Rescue star Andrew Reid was found guilty of domestic violence and common assault. So that was just in December. So my point being is like, yes, this is violence. It shouldn't be accepted, but we accept violent people on our screens so much in Australia that I'm like, it's interesting to me that this is where we seem to be drawing the line. Why are we
not drawing the line? Do you know what all of these people you know?
Because usually it's not that we accept it. This definitely comes down to the fact that men get away with so much more than anybody else. It makes the news cycle and then it's done. We don't sit on it for long enough and people forget. There'll be so many people listening to your list that you just read it off that are like, hang on, that's right, because because we comment on it once, we brush it under the carpet, and we also say, oh, well, he is an NRL
player that's sort of in their culture. It's almost that it's expected, so we say it's Okay.
Also, I just want to make it clear these are the people that I could find that have been convicted. If I was here to discuss the allegations of violence of people who are currently on our TV screens, we would probably be here until tomorrow.
Yeah, and Cash, I know exactly what you mean. I think the difference is is that when you see someone or hear's someone like Ben Cousins on radio talking about some silly thing that he read in the news, you're not hearing him in real time manipulate someone about the
assault or about the thing that they've done. And I think that that's why it was very jarring for a lot of Australians watching this play out, which felt like in real time on married at first sight, because it was like an act of violence happened, and then we're watching him weasele his way with the excuse, with the gas lighting around, going from apologizing to say but the
reason I did it is because of you. It was so startling, I think to watch it all play out so specifically that it made it impossible for people to deny it, whereas we are able to deny it every day for so many reasons that these men who are and have been convicted of really fucking horrible things, in most cases domestic violence, and they're still able to go and have careers in jobs where they are essentially influential people in our society and held up as being important
in people that we listen.
To and interesting, and we want to see them on our screens. And the only reason that I wanted to go into that is because I think that if we are going to have a standard of we are not going to accept violence on our screens, he should have been kicked out of the show, which is what I think the general public think. People are saying the show should be canceled. I'm like, if you have a zero tolerance to violence, I don't know if there would be a single reality TV show that would exist. Yeah, like
we need to uperstand it is my point. By no means want to say that if X definitely y. I don't want to say if someone punches a hole in a door, they are definitely going to go on to become a domestic abuser. I mean, each individual's circumstance will be different. And I do also want to believe that people can reform and they can learn from their bad
behavior and they can change. And that applies to the men that I was speaking about earlier, where you know, the men who were currently on our screens who have been convicted of violent assault, like some of it happened a long time ago, and whether they've gone through the personal development that's fantastic. I really fucking hope that they have.
But you forfeit the privilege of being someone who is heralded in entertainment if you are going to do that, And I think that's for me where I draw the line of like we are having fantastic conversations about the nuances of domestic violence and the micro aggressions that can lead to bigger aggressions.
I don't even think hitting a wall is a microaggression. Yeah, I think punching a wall is an escalator. It's an intimidating aggression.
I think that the outrage against maths he is justified, but I think we need to apply it to every single show that has a violent perpetrator on it.
Yeah, I totally agree. I think as well.
The one positive thing that's come out of this, I've had some conversations with friends who have said that they don't equate the violence of a man punching something as the same as someone who shows traits of domestic violence. And it was an interesting take to me because I was like, why is it that you are able to allow a man to be so enable to deal with his emotions that he needs to physically break or hit or hurt something, you know, And I don't mean a person,
I mean a thing. But often with domestic violence situations, it doesn't start out with someone hitting a person. It starts out with the other intimidation around it. It starts out with hitting a wall. In my experience of domestic violence growing up as a kid, it didn't start with my stepdad hitting my mum. It started with my stepdad ripping phones out of walls and punching walls and throwing things and being deeply frightening to be around. And then
it escalated. And I think what the public discourse is that we get to have now is telling young girls that never never accept your boyfriend or your partner saying I was so angry that I punched a wall because I couldn't handle it. I think as women, we have been conditioned to think that it's not that bad, but
it really fucking is. And that's probably The one silver lining of this conversation that I think not ours, but like in general, what's come out of this is that the benchmark for what women will accept is shifting dramatically, and there's a lot of people who are able to define what isn't isn't the absolute red flags of what could constitute domestic violence. All right, guys, it is time for I accidentally unfiltered. And this one gave me a good giggle. Today at the nail salon, I took my son,
who is five years old. I gave him my phone to entertain him whilst I was getting my nails done.
Well, a few nights.
Ago, my partner and I had had a good old night together a little bit rough and I don't know whether it was from my g string or maybe he scratched me, but I had a slight pain in between my vulvera and my and I obviously couldn't see it, so I took a couple of photos to get a better look, and I hadn't deleted them until now.
After my son.
Was like, hey, Mom, why is there a photo of a bum hoole on your phone? Is that dad's I was so mortified, and the nail technicians were trying not to giggle, but I don't think that they could help themselves. If I didn't have a vouchers to spend there, I would never go back, but I think I might regift it and never go back anyway.
I think the most embarrassing part of that is not that there's a butthole on your phone, is that your son confused your butthole for your husband.
To be fair, he's a kid. He's never seen an mum's butthole or a dad's buttthole.
Big hairy man's. I have no idea what a buttthole looks like he's got. He's only ever seen his own buttole Like when I accidentally showed the nail technician my nude, remember, oh that's right, yeah, rest in peace, it was a different kind of nude.
Guys, if you have an accidently unfiltered story for us, your most embarrassing story, slide on into our dms because we need them. Also your confessionals as well. Any of your sick dark confessionals send them to Life on Cut podcasts too.
And it is time for sucking. Sweet what is your suck of the week.
I'm just gonna be the most annoying boring person in the world. My suck is just my body from dancing, like I really, I've pulled a lot of muscles. I have a bulging disc in my back.
I've got a bulging disc.
Did I not tell you?
No, I've been to the doctors.
I have a broken back. I have a fracture in my spine and two bulging discs. That's why I mean so much pain. Did I not tell you that?
No?
Yeah, I've got a wedge fracture in my spine and two bulging discs. From what you know what, I've constantly got hot water bottles on me. Yeah, So I'm very lucky that the fracture is quite small, and the bulging discs are also quite small, because if anyone knows, like, if you've got that stuff, that's pretty extreme, I wouldn't be able to do what I'm doing. So they're quite small, but there are enough that I'm in constant discomfort. So that's my suck of the week. And I'm just in
a lot of pain. And also I am like dying. I'm frothing to get my migraine botox because I haven't been to have it while I'm dancing because I can't hold my necker well when I get it, I can't hold my whole neck up, So dancing would have been a disaster.
The drama that goes into Dancing with the Stars is at the next fucking level.
But I do want to say I have loved every second. Like I know I'm complaining a lot right now, but that's because where we're getting towards the end of the training and it's my body's broken. But I've loved every second, Like it has just been so much fun and I've learned so much stuff. And my dance partner and I Craig are like constantly in hysterics.
Considering how much you've complained about it, I feel as though that that's not entirely true.
No, I do. I love it, And that's why I wanted to say that, because it's like often we always talk about that, right often you just highlight the hard stuff with the bad stuff, And I'm highlighting that because
all I think about is my soul muscles. But I've never I just haven't laughed so much in a really, really long time, and it's been really amazing to like learn these new skills and I'm really excited for you guys to see it because I think from when I started, from like my first day of practice, where I was like what have I done? I feel like I have come forward in leaps and bounds or purowets and chut chas you might say. So, yeah, I can't wait for you.
I can't wait for you guys to see it and hopefully vote for me.
You are you are actually exceptionally good. It is ridiculous.
My suck for the week is that on Friday Day, I had to come home from work because I was so freaking unwell, and I went to bed at lunchtime and I didn't get out of bed for twenty hours.
I just spent twenty hours in bed masturbating all day.
Yeah, made me feel so much better, thank you. No, I just was like an absolute puddle in bed. I had no energy, which meant that I missed out on like a friend lunch that we were supposed to do on Saturday.
And it took me a good forty eight hours to get over it. So that was it's time. That was it sucked. It was like absolutely dire times.
And my sweet for the week is that we are currently opening a new Tony May store and we are deep in renovation. But yesterday I went in to check where everything's at, and we're only a couple of days.
Off from it being all finished.
Have you invited us to the opening?
We haven't because we didn't expect it to all be finished as quickly as what it has been. We haven't planned the opening yet, but it is coming very soon and we'll have it at a second Tony Made shop.
I will wear all of my Tony May.
You will come drag and your knuckles on the ground. We haven't said this.
On the podcast.
Laura lent me some jewelry for it. I noticed she didn't give it, but like Thai wedding that I lent you a couple of weeks ago, and I.
Am, you know I've stolen it.
I didn't notice that.
I'm like, I was gonna say, I'll bring them back, and I brought back some to you, but I didn't bring back all.
And look they're wearing very well.
I will wear these to the opening party.
Hashtag Tony Mags wipe up.
So I'll come to the opening party to get more. You're going to tell everyone where it is.
I haven't told everyone yet. Where it is.
We will drop it this week if you've been if you're hanging on to the Tony May updates, you'll find out and like tomorrow.
So I just add one last thing. If you are a new customer, we do have a code, or do we?
Yeah?
I set this up with your sister.
Because people in our Facebook group, the Life on Cut discussion group, kept on asking like, is there a code you can get twenty percent off with the code life on cart twenty you're a new customer.
Yeah, first time customers, so you can't just get all of your jewels for twenty percent off the rest of forever. We do have a lot of life as who are like, I'm a lifer, can I have a discount code? And then I'll look in and I'll be like, you're already a customer of Tony May for like five years?
I can't know. So they're invested.
Sometimes I give them out. It's fine.
If you enjoyed the episode, please go leave a review on Apple Podcasts or subscribe wherever you listen to your pod. You can watch it on YouTube if you really want to find out b It's true feelings about the chatting Tatum strip art coming to her hands.
I have zero feelings. I'm numb to the cause.
Yeah yeah, absolutely, and you can get her physical actions which would give you more indication.
If you watch the YouTube, then don't watch it.
And you know the dress.
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