BONUS EP - Strictly Accidentally Unfiltered, finished differently

We froth it so hard of just accidentally unfilters. Basically, you're writing your most embarrassing, funniest stories and we take the piss a little bit or a lot. It's just gonna be your most embarrassing stories and we're all gonna laugh at you. So thank you to every single person

who was written in for today's episode. But we did tease this last week and we were going to drop it last week, and then the reason why we couldn't do that was because we also wanted to get on board a sponsor for this episode and bring you guys at discount for wine. Let's be real, We're here for

the people, that's what this is. We've got Jacob's Creek who's coming with a sponsor, and there was a nice synchronicity in this because you know that all about accidentally unfiltered stories, Well, they kind of finished differently to how one might have hoped. Absolutely, there's never an ending that

I think anyone would have won it. Well. Jacob's Creek double Barrel wine is also finished differently in that it's finished in an aged whiskey barrel, giving it a smoother, a deeper, and a richer taste, exactly as Brittany likes her men end my wine. Hah. That's how I take my men and my wine. Anyway. So if you guys want to get thirty percent off with free shipping, then all you have to do is search for the Jacob's Creek podcast. And I highly reckon because who doesn't want

discounted wine. I'm sipping on it right now and it's divine. We're gonna get straight into this episode because we have got some good belly last for you. Britt Is gonna kick it off because she reckons she's got the best one. But in a light of things finishing differently, I'm gonna tell you a story and I want you to guess the end of it. That's the game we're playing this time. We're gonna do it different. I'm gonna tell a story.

You're gonna say, hey, you to get in. I love how you always want to go off piece with these things. Just stick to the script. Brittany, Well, I thought this fits the whole Jacob's Creek Finished Differently campaign. I was just really trying to go outside the box here, really align it alright to hit me all right, this actually happened. I'm not gonna name names, but I happened to a friend of mine, And this is like an urban legend that happened to you, a friend of a friend himself.

It's actually so funny. This guy was going on a date. He met this girl online well okay, he met her on Instagram and she was an absolute smoke show. She was so bloody hot. So his friends are over and his flat mate over and he's like frothing this chick. He's like, look at this chick I'm going on a date with. And he was showing a profile like a kid, like you know, you're like, oh, look at it here, look at here, zoomying on her Instagram and having a

great old time. And they were like, bro, she's so hot, Like you've got to take this home. You've got to get a home run. And he was like, I'm on it, bring it on home. So he goes on to the date, has a great time, and she's an eleven out of ten and she's into him. She's into him, she is here for it. And he's like rubbing his hands together. A because he gets to take this smoke show home. B Because he actually really likes her. See He's like, yes, my flatties are going to see that I've just taken

this really really hot chick home. So he gets home with her and the flatmates and friends are still all love because they've just been having a few drinks at home. He walks into the land room and they see her and their face pretty confronting for the girl to walk in and have like a whole group of housemates and friends there. Yeah, but she owned it. She was like, hey, what's up. Like, they're all really friendly, but the flatmates in hindsight, he's like, the flatmates' faces faulted for just

a split second. He's like, but I just thought they were surprised that I'd brought a home. I didn't think much of it. Anyway, they get on with it. They all have a bit of a chat and whatever else. Then they sort of go into the other room and give them some space. They sit in the lounge, they're making out, they're having a wine, and he's like, let's take it to the bedroom, and she's here for it. So they're going to the bedroom. What is this girl? What do they see in the bedroom that makes her

turn and run? What is it? I'm imagining like the housemates has like left a dildo or something on his bed, or like a strap on for him to his kegged him like a queen. That would probably be That sounded like, my love, we are wearing off. You were turning it into the same person. Okay, what was in the room

is worse than a dildo being on the bed. They walk into the room and whilst he was on the date, the flatmates thought it would be really funny to go on to her Instagram page and print out photos of her giant photos and put them up as posters all out of his room. Someone looks like he was a psycho kind of shrine. He had a shrine of this chicken only met on the DMS And she walks in and her face is blown up all over the room and he's like, I am so sorry. This was not me,

this was my flatmates. And she's like, there's no way this could have been your flatmates in this time. You're a fucking psycho. But also even if it was his flatmates, it just shows that he's been bragging to his flatmates and showing them all the photos. Anyway, Like, both of them are bad options. Obviously, the shrine option is the worst. Okay, So would you have stayed or run? Oh? Look, I'm a sucker for punishment. If it was like pre Matt, I probably would have married the guy. Oh is that

a red flag? Let's be together forever? Perfect, let's get married. I would have been like, oh my god, this is a great shot of me. Can I take it? Anyway? I just think like it's pretty funny. I mean, they could have. They never spoke again. That's it. She bailed. He tried to contact her and explain, and it just block de yeah, block a delete, flew on out of there. I think it's I think it's so funny, but I would not. But imagine if you were that keen, I

would not forgive. It's funny in hindsight, but you wouldn't forgive them You're like, what if she was my wife, that was my soulmate and you've ruined it for me for ever? Oh my god. Okay, alright, god, I love these so much. Guys. Don't you actually get some ideas of you one of your listeners shoud probably try this one time. It's so cruel. Don't stick your friends up. It's a great way to lose some mates. How to lose a mate one night? All right, I have a

good one, but we on that level. I really enjoy this one. Guys, we've all we all know the lemon dtox diet. I'm sure that there's people out there who have tried the lemon detox diet. I tried the lemon dtox diet. So when this story came in, I was like, dead, rip me a time of death today. So basically I'm gonna summarize a little bit, because it's a really long one. I decided to do the lemon dtox diet with a couple of friends from work. This is going back about

ten years ago now. So if for those who if you who don't know what the lemon detox diet is. Basically, you have to drink a concoction of lemon water, cayeenne pepper every single day without eating any food, and then in the mornings and the afternoons you have to take a one lider salt water flush SLA. We don't recommend doing this, guy. This is a terrible, terrible idea, which is also why you need to listen to the story. So She's like, I woke up on my first morning.

It was a Saturday, and at the time I lived with my boyfriend in a tiny, little one bedroom studio apartment. The bed was literally right next to the kitchen. I got up and I drank my one lid of salty water, and I looked over my boyfriend and was like, Babe, I'm gonna make you some eggs. Feeling light as a feather. So here I am standing in the kitchen wearing his underwear, cooking him eggs. I've just finished my entire lid of warm salty water when I felt it a rumbling, a

rumbling below, and I had the urge to fart. Oh, no, it's totally fine. My boyfriend and I are very very open with things like that, so I let it rip. But to my surprise, it wasn't a part ha ha. It was a cascade of one liter of warm, salty water. I can't that ran down all my legs and all over the floor as my poor boyfriend sat on the bed and watched me cook his eggs. Needless to say, I don't think that these were the runny eggs that he was after, and we ended up breaking up a

couple of months later. Hang on, I ate a couple of months. I took you a couple of months. B was Did I get this right? Is this a lea of diarrhea running down her leg? Yes? Oh my god, I want to die for her. It's not okay, is it? I did the Lemondee dogs. Everyone did it like fifteen years ago, you know what. It was the trend, and I was like Beyonce, she did it for some movie role and had to lose heaps of weight before the role. Yeah, but the reason people lose weight is because you don't eat.

You drink water with some lemon in it and soul. It's just a laxity. It's like, it's so bad diet. It's so bad. I did it and I lasted for about seven hours and then ate an ice cream sandwich. I think I got downside. I didn't do and then like had a picnic of cheese and bickiees. I was like, fuck this anyway. She goes on to say that her boyfriend was actually really supportive, and he left the apartments that she could clean up and sought her life out.

Oh yeah, that support. I'm out of here. You clean this up. That's the support you want in your life. I'm pretty sure that's the support I would want under these circumstances. You know, it's like bridesmaids, don't look at me, I'm shitting in the street. That's exactly the same. And I also know she didn't break up as a result of the lemon detox disaster. Oh my god, I just can't. Guys, do not try that at home, all right. Next, I lived in a sharehouse with three other girls, where it

was super rare to be home alone. However, one week, when two of my housemates were traveling overseas, I went to bed super early and my other housemate left for a night shift. As she is a paramedic, I knew she wouldn't be home all night. I woke up at eleven pm with a fright to a large banging sound in our kitchen and I just assumed my housemate was homemaking dinner. However, the sound continued and I realized it

was way too early for her to be home. Panicked, I called her quickly to confirm, and yes, she was still at work. By this stage, there was more banging, more loud noises. It was chaos and I was freaking out. She told me to call the police and my boyfriend, who lived only a street away. So I called my boyfriend, then I called Triple zero, convinced someone had broken into our kitchen. On the phone to Triple zero and waiting for the police, I was freaking out, and my boyfriend

arrived and knocked on the front door really loudly. My bedroom is closest to the front, so I decided I'm just going to make a run for it, screaming and yelling, I ran past and said I've called the police, I'm leaving. As I was running out of the house, the police rocked up a few seconds later and stormed into the house,

opened the front door to a cloud of smoke. They ran in and came out with a burned Saucepan was then that my stomach dropped and I realized that I must have forgotten to turn off our stove fully because when I had gone to bed, I had left eggs on the stove. They had boiled to the point that they had exploded. I'm talking they had burnt out, exploded with such force that they knocked over our utensils, pots,

They dishrack cracked open, pans were fell out. I thought someone was breaking in, but I had actually called the police on some boiled eggs. I think it's very obvious that the real issue here and the common denominator is once again the eggs. I think this is so funny because imagine the police coming to save the day and they're like, ma'am, you've been attacked by two boiled eggs. This sounds like the time that you tried to accost a robber and ended up being a koala in your sink,

the infamous koala breaking How embarrassing. I think we all have a story about a time where we thought we were getting broken into and it ended up just being some like very benign Like I remember this time where I was convinced I was being broken into and they were a fucking poss him in the house. Yeah. See, animals are a big one for that, because I had the quality those animals and those eggs. You really got to watch out. Okay, all right, okay, I've got another one.

I had been out with my housemates for a dance and a cheeky drink, but after a couple of hours, I really wasn't feeling it, so I left the party early to get home. After paying the taxi driver, I accidentally left my handbag in the taxi, and I didn't realize until the taxi had driven away. Now, at the time, I lived in London in a really, really really dodgy area, and it was the middle of the night. It was

also the middle of winter. I panicked. I had no way of calling my housemates to let them know what had happened, and no way of getting into the apartment. So I did what I thought was a smart idea at the time. I smashed the little window next to the door and tried to reach inside and unlock, obviously, but the door still wouldn't open. Brittany, what do you think happened next? How do you think this happened? How

do you think he's finished? Differently? I read, Okay, this middle of winter, she's free, it's late at night, she's on her porch. I reckon. She froze to and really hot guys walk past and said, gin need help, And he had a kitten two and then because he'd saved it from the tree, You're fantasy goes on in your head and then I reckon. She went home with him. Okay, she had one nice sand Well it's a kitten, man. Hey, well this can be this could be ending anyway. Well,

it truly finished differently to that. So anyway, fast forward, and it must have been around three am when my housemates came home and they found that the window had been smashed. They went inside and I was nowhere to be found. So they, of course they started freaking out and they called the police. They were also trying to call my phone at the time. The phone was going to voicemail. The police arrive and they take this very very seriously, so they call in the air pole as

in like the helicopter police. Oh, the chopper. The helicopter police start searching the marshlands around the area with a huge spotlight. It's now five am and they have decided, with absolutely no luck, that they're going to start door knocking to see if any of the neighbors saw anything. Tell me surely. Later, there's a knock at the door and I wake up off the couch and the police are there. Excuse me, are you Sarah? I'm not gonna

say her last name. I'd fallen asleep in my neighbor's house because my neighbor had heard me smashed my window open and thought I was being broken into. So anyway, here I am on my neighbor's couch with fifteen police officers the air pole, and my housemates crying their eyes out, thinking I've been abducted. She's having a great old snooze next door with a heated blanket. She's so fine. I was like, how does this escalate so fucking quickly? But you know what what I get from this is that

was a really good response time from the police. If she was abducted, great response time. Could you imagine the fright you would get though if you came home, as if you were the flat mate you came home, you couldn't contact your flat mate and someone had been broken in and knew she went home. We like that pretty. I think they weren't being drastic, they were like, holy moly.

And I think the thing with this as well is like the window was smashed as but then the place was locked, so I think they thought that she had been trying to get away from someone. So they thought that, you know, she'd been abducted as she was trying to get into the apartment. Oh my, yeah, that took a really dark turn. All right, I have just one more and it actually ties in really well with the story you just said. Okay. My boyfriend and I went on our first ever overseas trip to Japan a year ago.

I knew bits and pieces of Japanese from high school, but was absolutely not fluent. After a long journey, he checked into our Airbnb ready for a hard core nap. It was super cold, so I flicked through the welcome guy to find out whether or not the unit had a heater. The unit in fact did have a heater,

but unfortunately the instructions were all in Japanese. Now, I told my boyfriend that my A plus understanding of the language would save the day because I was really trying to impress him, so he trusted me to sort it out while he went and had a shower. I flicked through the instructions pretending I knew what I was reading, but had no idea. I loved the confidence. Trust me, babe, I got this. She probably learned how to say like hello, thanks, thank you, my name is not how to read an

instruction manual. I march on over to the air conditioning control panel. It is very high tech looking, and I press the large red button, which I assume will turn the heating on. Suddenly, the panel whirled to life, and a little animation of a woman wearing a police hat flashed onto the screen. The animated police lady spoke in Japanese and jested two flashing buttons, one blue and one red. I thought, super crack. The code red means heat, so

I'm going to last the red button. So I hit that red button with all my might, and all hell broke loose. The apartment had an alarm that started to loudly sound, with the air conditioning panel flashing red Japanese text flying all over the screen. I couldn't turn it off, and within minutes, the intercom panel beside the front door flashed to life as well. Outside our unit, within three minutes were three heavily armed policemen with protective helmets, guns,

bulletproof vests. Everything. My boyfriend flew out out of the shower buttter snaked, wondering what the hell was going on. I was in my Winning the Pooh baggy pajamas and had a face mask on and was freaking the hell out. Was it illegal to use heating in Japan? Should I have registered with your authorities my intent to eat first? I don't know. I wasn't about to go outside and deal with these three hectically armed policemen. My boyfriend grabbed a towel and opened the door while I hit in

the wardrobe. From my hiding spot, I could hear the policeman explaining to my boyfriend that the alarm had been sounded and the user had selected urgently requesting help from police. My boyfriend tried to tell them that his girlfriend had made a mistake and they thought it was the air conditioning control, but they were not buying it. They demanded

entry for a well being check. I think they thought I was being kidnapped, so I stepped out of my hiding place with my pink pj's and my face mask to explain that I am indeed fine, I was just really really cold. He was baffled and asked over and over, how on earth did you think this was heating. How did you not know about this alarm? The best bit is that she's actually hiding in the cupboards. Something even worse was going on, Yeah, she said, I finally convinced

him that I was just a more on. I think it's hilarious. But again, I love how affective this is. That you can press a button in your hotel room and within three minutes the police are there to help you mate spotlights and marsh Land and Airpole police. And then having someone an arm guard show up at your apartment to call four times to get room service your suit flat is not an emergency, Brittany, Well, it is, God got down the emergency. Don't they know what I've

been through this year? Oh Man, tell me about it? Becauld you imagine? That's so funny. But also the police actually said to her, but how did you know there was a police lady on the screen pointing to two buttons. I just thought it was a very official way of hitting the room. That is it for our little bonus episode. Thank you so much for listening. We absolutely love our

accidentally unfiltered stories if you have one. For next week's episode, of course, we're going to go back to the normal format where you can just send them on into us and we will pick out our favorite ones. Also, if you have any ask gun Cut questions, then send them

on through as well. You can send them on through to our Instagram at Life Fun Cut Podcasts, or also you can join in the conversation on our Facebook group page which is at Life Fun Cut podcast Also, because we like to keep things consistent, just want to do a huge shout out to our sponsor today, which is Jacob's Creek. We're so stoked to have them on board. We're stoked to have been able to do an episode where we can laugh at your guys misfortune and tie

it into our sponsor. They do. I mean, I just think that was great. Their red wine is finished. Differently, I have been absolutely loving it. I've loved having a glass today whilst recording this. And if you want to get thirty percent off and you can get your free shipping, who doesn't want thirty percent off some wine? That a good deal? All right? For a second, none of this is lulling about. So if you guys want to get thirty percent off with free shipping, then all you have

to do is search for the Jacob's Creek Podcast. We will be back tomorrow back to our regular schedule with an ask Uncut episode. If you have enjoyed this sneaky little bonus EP, then you know the drill. Tell your friends, tell your mom, tell your dad, and share the love, because we love love