BACH UNCUT - put a fork in me I'm done

Life Uncut podcasts acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's today.

This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

That's short, stumpy and hairy.

You feel when you see them?

I feel like I'm rubbing my foot against a man's foot.

When we first had a dating, I used to shave my toes. Stopped.

Why why'd you stop? If you're doing the whole leg? Just extra?

But am I doing the whole leg? My ankles have a been shaved in about five years.

That's when you know you're really comfortable in a relationship when you stop shaving your big toes.

Have you ever plucked your toe hairs?

Yes?

For what reason? You're going on a date? I was bored. It hurts an unreasonable amount to pluck your toe hairs.

You know what I've got now? I've got gray hairs on my balls?

On your balls?

Yeah? Since when I think like two months ago? Show me I'm not going to get No, they're there.

I found my first couple of gray hairs on my head. If that makes you feel any better.

What about downstairs?

Zero so far, but I'm.

Sure they're coming, So hit me hard tell you that much age, m we're just finding out that I've got gray hairs downstairs. That's when you know that it's it's over.

I mean, like, what's over life? You're heading into dying?

Well, like I've the peak has been reached. It's downhill from here.

But now you're just a silver fox everywhere.

I don't think I'm going to age. Well, you have.

Aged progressively great considering I've seen your photo from when you were sixteen.

Oh that sixteen year old Maddy Jay was beautiful.

That you are getting hotter with age, not worse with age.

No, And I feel I feel like thirty two was my good year. Now that I'm thirty five.

I'm almost thirty seven.

Ah, disgusting.

All right, let's do this, hi, guys, and and welcome back to our very last episode, which some of you might be grateful for of batchunkat.

Can you just pretend to be a little bit sad the fact that it's ending.

I'm so sad that it's finished. Don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that it once was.

That's not how the saying goes. But sure, sure, it's a last episode, very emotional. Can only imagine what the listeners are going through right now.

Laura, I do have a review for you that I read.

Can I just say I know which one you're going to read? It has been lovely, absolutely divine reading all the nice comments, I've enjoyed it a lot, but give me this one.

This is my favorite. Her name is Ellie from Jelly.

That's my mom's name.

Matt's mum wrote, I can't do it anymore. Oh my god, I can't listen to bout young Cut anymore. Weigh too many injokes between Maddie and Laura, and silly jokes at that. Thank god, the series is almost over, and Ellie from the Jelly almost over. It is. This is our very very last recap. So you can go back to normal programming.

She's she's got drunk.

You can go back to normal prop stroke what happened to me programming?

I can't say valuable.

There's always one word that'll trip you up.

Ellie's gonna hate that intro chat when She's like, I'll give up one last chance, and I'm like, my bullstack's got gray hairs, and she'd be like, ah, throwing her phone across the room.

I hadn't really, I wasn't sure if I was going to leave that in yet or not. But maybe we will now believe it is, do you know what?

Though?

So for the most part, there has been so many kind and supportive and lovely messages.

We've read them all. We have.

We have read them all, and we really needed the encouragement because, to be honest, we almost checked out of The Bachelor halfway through.

It's been a hard, long slug.

Well only because there's been so many but we did it. We watched every single one and tonight we sat there on the couch and we watched the finale iPhones in hand, cheers.

My love is Hey, don't you think during these recaps it's one of those weird scenarios where it's hard to imagine a time when we weren't recapping The Bachelor. But at the same time, it's gone really quick.

Do you get that it has gone really it's been three weeks, Matt.

But at the same time, I'm trying to remember.

When we ever spoke about anything else.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's all we've got now.

Like the Bachelor is the glue that keeps this relationship together.

Osher's still like literally in our lound room. He's just like, oh okay, guys keep on going of each other.

I saw him on Friday.

Cute, what did you guys do?

Long stories? That's good batch to the finale? Sorry, sorry, sorry, I know you wanted to keep this one short and sweet.

I have to stay up and edit this one tonight. King She was like, fuck that, I'm going to bed, and.

I'm like, let's go on this tangent and I'll tell you all about the date that men Osha had on Friday. But I won't because we will talk about the finale.

Can I just say Osha made very few appearances in the finale?

Yeah, it was. It was trimmed back.

Usually he's he's there throughout and he pissed peppert In. He was just there at the start, sat down, did a little one on one with the guys. Then he was like, sorry, I got a got a pinicle out with my name on it.

Well, I think he's got a taste for surfing or something. He was that Swell was pumping, so I was I was out of there.

So he sits down. Should we just do? Just do it? Do we do? We get into it?

Wow?

How else do we normally?

I don't know. But before play, if you wouldn't.

Know anything about that, would you, Laura? Jesus, that'll be a first wander around a little bit first, Laura being in the mood before player, I don't know.

Was there anything unnecessary and stupid that you wanted to talk about before we start unpacking?

I'm a bullsack.

What else do we have to incump?

Do we?

No?

Let's just let's just start.

So as you all know, if you've been strapping on in for the ride. Three bachelors, we're at the final and each of them have two girls. Now, Thomas, he's the only one that seems completely convinced about what he's doing.

Can I say something really controversial?

I'll go for it.

Could have done without Thomas this season?

Yeah, he's lovely, so lovely, so lovely, gorgeous, unnecessary gorgeous, added nothing to the storyline, Like.

I just wanted a bit more, bit more.

Spice, minimal screen time. Yeah, even the producers tried to write him out, but they were like, we can't write him out entirely.

They did kind of because the last episode meeting his mom, he was like, no, I don't worry about it, Mum, I've got it all sorted. You're not going to meet any of the girls.

We didn't even bother talking about it because it was such a non event and Felix and Jed took all of the storyline, so Thomas, we even forgot to recap Thomas. That's how insignificant the part he played in that episode.

He's been pushed out of the season, hasn't he except that the only thing that they're trying to tease to still have that invested interest in Thomas is it Thomas, Yes, Thomas Sorry? Is the fact that you know, will he proposed that the last little bit of you know, meet the turn to dangle in front of us is the proposal.

Yes, they're dangling some Italian meat in front of us, and I want some also, because his storyline is so obvious. It was such an obvious storyline as to how that was going to play out. But anyway, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's just talk about the thing that's different about this season. To start with. So normally at finale, as a female in the competition, there is not even a moment where you cross paths with the other girl.

Isn't it wild?

Wild?

Wasn't it crazy?

So so the first meet and greek between the girls is between Alicia and Leah. Yep, So they don't have they have like different bachelors. They're just like, hey, cute, you're here, I'm here, Like, what do you like? Ah? You know, goldkos is lovely this time of year.

But then they get Jess and Abigail give them both like give one of them a knife, the other one like a broken glass, and they're like, now guys, have a quick chat and get along well.

And then there's a guy standing in the corner. He's like one two three D literally and off goes Obviously, Abigail is still angry about everything that happened on the last episode.

She's very bitter, and I would go as far as it's not bitter, I think she was very bitter. I do like Abigail, I'll put that out there. I think she's a great, big fan of her work. But I just think it was unnecessary to have a bit of a dig at Jess at that point. It's not going to make any difference.

I think, no, I disagree, I.

Disagree with jess and how she's behaved.

You're about to say I disagree with you're disagreeing. I think it's better that she at least spoke to jess honestly than saying the stuff that she's been saying two

Okay, so the fact that Abigail said, you're only looking out for yourself and you're only keeping Damian around until you find something better, do you think that's justified?

Also, we could have put a grab in here, but you know, I need to go to bed tonight, so we're not doing grabs, right, Matt, Can you do it in the voice of whosh.

You're only looking out for yourself and you're only keeping Damien around until you find something better at.

Wow wow, Yeah that was pretty harsh how she says? Yeah, yeah, she is right, keep it in there a little a little bit harsh, but also I think, honest, can I ask you another question, Do I think that that's necessarily true?

No?

I think Jess is probably. I feel like Jess's edit has also been a bad edit. Like I think that maybe she did flip flop around in the open relationship thing, but I think it's been edited to make her look ten times worse than what she is as well.

I agree. Can I ask you this question? And I have gone down this route a couple of times. It's quite you know, the conspiracy theorist route. My mum is convinced this is the case.

Come on, what's Ellie from the Jelly got for us again?

Mum is convinced that Jess and Damien are both actors.

This comes up every year. I just don't think it would be didn't come out right, it's surely surely, I just I don't think.

It fu and wild it is. It's wild. Damien is wild.

Well he comes back, doesn't he?

Of course he does. Of course he does. So the next part of The Bachelor without Damien in it.

So Damien comes back. Basically, Jess goes back to her little hut, and then there's Damien standing there talking to Dean, the producer, and Dean's like, you don't have to do this if you don't want to, and Damien's like, I want to anyway. No one knows what it is that he wants to do.

He will behind the scenes.

You think is it called breaking the fourth wall?

The fourth wall has been broken, very broken.

Seeing behind the scenes, one might say, I like it so Damien walks in, Jess has a breakdown. That's not like Jess because obviously she's gonna have to break up with him, and you know, break ups the heart They suck. Damien. They do that little touching forward thing when he takes mind controller and then he says, like, just breathe through it, you know, tell me talk through where you're at right now in this time, what your what're you're feeling? Like?

I hate you, I don't want to be with anymore. And he's like, all right, let's just let's just rethink that for one second. Let's not rush into anything.

Jess, do you feel sorry for Damien in this moment? Like, do you think that he's I mean, obviously he's put himself in this situation, or do you think that he kind of has enabled the situation.

Look, it's it's such a wild situation right now because we're watching it and all of a sudden, it's not the Bachelor or Bachelor's it's the Bachelorette. I'm like, holy shit, Jess is the Bachelorette? What the hell is happening? It's so crazy. I obviously and I feel sorry for anyone, regardless of their background being heartbroken, you know, to an extent. I mean, I I've never warmed a Damien, but you know, I thought he was very gracious in the breakup.

He took it too well.

I was I was waiting for him to flip out. I was waiting for him to like kick a camera over, like get a light and like throw it across the room.

Would have made for some good team.

And I'm sure the producers were hoping that. They're like sending him like the intern for the camera and his hand being like all right, Damien, if you want to kick someone here he is in turns like, oh my god, please make it quick. He controlled himself very well.

Did he took it like a chair?

He took it like a chair, Like, Damien, here's a bottle of rum. If you want to have a sip, We're not going to stop you for the whole bottle. Sure knock yourself out.

Don't you think though? So like Damien's there, he's now being broken up with ye Jess is now single, so then she's ready to get into a relationship.

Oh wait, I can I say something you please? Why didn't she do that last episode before she met Felix's parents, Like like come on, That's that's why my mom was like, she's an actor.

How do you think Susan's gonna feel when Felix brings a home around the table at Christmas?

Do you imagine how awkward that's going to be A round?

I promise I'm not like Damien anymore. Yeah, I can't. I honestly can't imagine. But we're skipping ahead, we're skipping her head. So basically, Jessica she breaks up with Felix. It's very dramatic.

All who, there's so many people you said, Felix, she didn't.

Break up a feeling.

People right now are like, what she broke with this episode was crazy.

So she breaks up with Damien. She's very, very upset, and I think anybody breaking up with anyone is you know, it's a hard thing to do. But somebody wrote this in the Facebook group on the butch thread, and I absolutely was like, yes, oh my god, you're so right. It's interesting to me how jess has had Damien as an emotional support person throughout this whole process, like she has had somebody there throughout every step of this quote

I don't think anyone can say that Damien has helped her in this situation. Let's be let's be honest here, Like if ever there was a handicap, it's bloody Damien. I'm sure if the other women had the option of having a Damien along with them, the answer would have been no.

So that's a good point. So maybe the person in the Facebook group wasn't right.

Congratulations to Jess. I'm making it to the finale. It's a miracle.

She really does deserve metal.

To her.

You would feel shit if you were Abagail, wouldn't you.

He picked the girl with a boyfriend.

God, she's got two boyfriends. She's crasty cat him get one. Let's go back a bit before we get before we spoil the ending for Felix.

We are going to spend a minute on Thomas, because that's that's how long they gave him on camera.

I literally almost skipped past Thomas and started talking about Jen Can we just talk Thomas? So Thomas breaks up with Lauren. I thought it was a flash after the ad. I thought it was you know, teas, you know how sometimes they do like the flashes of what's coming up, just to set the sea. It was so quick I thought it was a flash of the ad and I was like, oh, wow, they really gave away a lot on the On the AD break, I plugged.

In my phone to charge it and I looked up and it was already over there.

She was already walking away.

Yes, Laura.

I don't even remember her walking down, like I honestly don't. I just remember her standing in front of Thomas and he says it's not you and she goes, okay, walks away.

We gave nothing.

It was so unbelievably anticlimactic, Like I've never ever seen a finale. You could have had sneezes longer than the Fairways Gelmus. And the problem is is because as his farewell was so anticlimbat because there's just nothing about it. When he actually proposed to Leah, it was like, oh, it's a nice yeah.

But I also thought I also thought in that situation with Leah, right, okay, giving a mind. When they first met each other on the very first date, the speed dates where they went in that little boat and lake, he left that in tears. So I was like, surely, right now he's telling Leah that he loves her, It's going to be this amazing, euphoric moment. It's just it's the crescendo of the entire series. We're going to have some tears, right, nothing, nothing, he proposes. She's like, yeah, cheers, and.

Then you cried yes, like a little silk.

Oh come on now, Laura, come on, now, come on, don't make me feel guilty for those tears.

I mean I cried too. We're both silks together.

Why didn't Thomas and Lea cry?

I love an emotional man. I love a man who cried.

She's been wanting this her entire life. She said she's never been in love, although she was kind of in love on the last show she was on I can't.

We need to talk about this. So I'm very happy for Leah and Thomas. I hope they're still together. There's been lots of rumors to say that, but I'm like, if anyone's together, my money is on them. I really hope that they're together. But Matt, you brought this up on like our first episode of About Chunk Cart. Apparently, Leah was on another reality TV show called The Proposal where she was proposed to imagine going for a tufa.

She's got to go for three.

A lot of people can't even get proposed to once.

She's got to go for three, surely, I mean third times a charm, three TV shows, three proposals.

Maps, she's gonna be on the same map.

She one hundred percent is gonna be on maps.

Imagine Thomas. I mean, do you think Thomas knows that Leah was on another reality TV show where she got proposed to.

I mean, if she said no, you'd be bloody filthy that she said yes to the guy that she'd known for two hours and she said no to you.

But also they tried to build it up that it's like it's so crazy that Leah is saying yes, Like you know, it's an amazing saying yes after know each other for six for seven weeks, Lee has already been she already said yes to knowing someone after two hours.

So for anyone who doesn't know, the proposal was a show where you had one person who was, like, you know, the main person, they met four or five potential suitors, and at the end of an episode, which was an hour, they would get proposed to.

Do we know for certain that Lea said yes on the proposal? Or are we spreading rumors? We might be spreading rumors, in which case do your own research. Don't believe anything. You're on batch on cus.

It's alleged that she said yes.

We haven't seen it, so we don't know. Anyway, we're going off. We're going off the terrible information that we've been provided.

But I'm happy for them. I don't think they are.

Together, but you're once again believing rumors they may be Okay.

Reason as well why I don't think they're together is because they had to look at their instagrams and they haven't posted anything because obviously.

No their instagrams are still managed by someone else.

But normally you do this like, hey guys, thanks for the support, We're so stoked. We're happy. True like that always had right, Everyone rushes to watch the awkward video that they make you film.

Ou have you ever watched our video?

But I don't want to watch it.

It is messed up.

They stand there with a gun and they're like, fucking say you're in love, and.

You're like, I have so much fake tan on that it should be criminal, Like it is repulsive how much fake tan I'm wearing. We are so awkward because we've both been crying because it was it's an awful night, like finale night. When you're together, it's not this like beautiful, exciting, happy night, like you're so sad that somebody else is sad.

I think you're also reading comments on social media as well, which doesn't help.

We were in I remember like on Maddon and My finale, we were in bed together. We were watching Yeah, not being sexy, watching the show play out, and then we just sat there and we were like, oh, this is it's sad, and.

We're like, let's have a look online and see what people are saying. And they're like, you guys for can suck and we're like, oh, let's not do that again.

It was actually it's an awful night, like the finale night is awful for the person who's rejected, and it's also an awful night for the person who is in a relationship, so.

There is no awkward video being posted on anyone's accounts. Right, I was suspicious.

I wait with baited breath. Ah, if there has ever been an example of how to not do the Bachelor, how to not do the finale of a Bachelor, then we can just walk in specimen Jed.

But also, he's twenty five, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's a musician. What were we honestly expecting?

So somebody did also write, and I saw that you shared it on your stories that this episode is just going to be you and I eating shit for the entire time because I went against the grain. Every person I thought didn't get chosen, so it's mostly just me eating shit onself.

I'm the oracle. I can guess everything. You didn't guess you'd be eating shit on Monday, did you, Laura?

Ah delicious, It's Sunday night. I haven't eaten any shit yet, but I might have to. So he doesn't choose Angela. Mind you. On last episode, he told Angela he was falling in love with her. She walks in feeling the confidence of someone who has just had a man say I'm falling in love with you, only to walk into a church and to sit down in a church pew and to have Jed say to her the most ridiculous excuse as to why they can't be together.

He was It was piss week, wasn't it.

He was like, I'm so sorry I'm not choosing you because you know I'm a drummer.

Hang on, wait do you want do you want me to do the impression?

Yeah?

Yeah, So like I was kind of like Dave Hughes, isn't it like I'm really sorry? No? What's he haws? He sound because pretty close because you know I drum heaps overseas and I'm just English. That's all my characters are being merged into one. I drum overseas and like, I'll shine your shoes, Guvnor and then she's like I don't have any shoes, and then he's like, oh, cheery over then, and then he walks off.

No, so what actually happened is that he sits down and he says, the reasons why I'm not choosing you is because you know, I play in a band and I have to travel a lot, and it's.

Not fair and fair, it's not fair on you. You deserve someone who's going to be there with you.

Yeah, you deserve someone who and he's like, I know that me traveling is a big issue for you. Mind you hasn't really been raised as an issue throughout the entire season.

We didn't know it was an issue, even Angela's what.

The only time it's been raised was on last episode where Angela said, oh, yeah, it's not ideal for me that my boyfriend is going to be away a lot, but you know, it's really reassuring to know that I can travel with him sometimes. Just you know what, this is a lesson, and this is a lesson for all of us, immaturity. If you're going to break out with someone, just if you don't have a good reason, like if it's just that you're just not that into them, just

We do know someone who's a lovely man who broke up recently with a girl because she didn't like the beach and he liked the beach, and he said, well, you don't like the beach, so this can't continue, can it. Let's be honest, it's never gonna work out.

She wouldn't get in the water because she had a fake tan and didn't want to get a hair wet.

Doesn't matter, does it matter? Just say hey, we don't have that connection. It's not working. There's no spark. Although. Just a message to anyone out there, any guys who may be in the running to be the next Bachelor, for the love of God, just do not say to multiple women, I'm falling in love with you. Just just hold back that thought is entering your mind and you're not at the finale and you're speaking to the winter, just don't say it.

Have we learned nothing from Lockie Gilbert? Nothing. The other part of this that I think was I guess it was hard to watch is because most of the time, when someone in finale gives the I'm breaking up with you speech, it's a pretty well rehearsed speech, like they've got it planned out in their head. They've got an

Yeah, it was great, but.

You know, anyway, that's not even that's not even the most of this whole Jed's finale.

No, it gets better, Oh it gets so much.

Better, so Jed. Then obviously it's Alysia.

Can I just say I like Jed, big big fan of Jed, as silly as he is in the finale, I've really enjoyed watching him develop as a character, although he trips at the final one hundred meters.

Yeah, no, I mean all we both love Jed. I love Jed. I just think that his finale was it wasn't exactly the most beautiful of finales, and the reason for that is because this whole time, Alicia, who Jed is obviously madly in love with, has been screw dreaming at him. Do not propose to me. If you propose to me, I will say no, I don't want to be proposed to you. I don't want to get married to you. I don't want to be engaged.

Every episode, every episode, she reminds him.

I think Alicia has said it as many times as Jess has said that she's in a relationship with Damien, Like that's how many times it's been brought up. So what does he do?

What he does?

It's unbelievable, Oh my god, what are you doing there? Also so awkward because it kind of made me feel I felt a bit angry. I was like, have you not been listening to this woman? Like do you are you ignoring her needs and wants here? It made me feel angry that he put her in that situation.

But also his reaction when she starts going oh shit, oh my god, and he's like has this look of like like why aren't you saying yes, I can't come. You're reacting this way. It's unbelievable. It's like someone saying I'm so full, I don't want anything else to eat, And then you make a spaghetti bolonaise and go did you want some more food? And they go no, thank you, I'm fool and you go, oh, well, I've just spent hours in the kitchen cooking that. Thanks a lot. Pow.

That's exactly what it's like. Thank you, that's exactly. But anyway, I do like a food analogy. They love each other, you love a food analogy. I have to put one of food metaphor, that's.

You for the finale.

Put it in there, eaty metaphor.

Happy with that one?

Perfect? It was very good.

Thank you.

So, I mean that's kind of like Jed's story summarized him and Alyssira. We hope they're still together.

It's just their relationship is like a spag bowl that no one wants. Laura, am I right?

No? I think?

Am I right?

That's beautiful. Also, Alicia, she just speaks. She's the voice of reason.

Oopsie, Daisy, that was a little fun from me.

I'm going to leave that in what would You Do?

I don't care fast episode and I'm never coming back, So do whatever you want, destroy me publicly, I don't care. Go back to all the other episodes. Where I've fared and put that in there as well, do it. I dare you you, I'll fight again.

That was not a real one. The first one, though, I reckon the MIC's picked it up.

Jed and Alicia, Okay, I think if ever there is a couple that is going to last a distance, I really think it's these two. I feel like they have something special.

Jed does say one thing though, He says, if I don't propose to Alyssia, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. And my instant thought was, well, if you're together, you can just do it in a year's time, Like, why would you.

Regret it for the rest Like because of the free ring.

Maybe they have to give the ring back.

Yeah, if there's no proposal, like give us like we want that back.

Yeah, we're not giving out three this year. Come on, usually it's one.

Maybe that's when he made Yeah, that.

Would make sense. He would regret that for the rest of his life. That's a lot of money.

I hope they're together. I really do. I'm praying. I'm praying.

Laura.

All right, let's talk about Abigail and Felix.

I missed this part because Marley woke up.

And I had to put it back to bed mate. Marley would not go to sleep, so we had to try and watch this to try and take our notes for recapping, but only got to half watch it because we were trying to put a three year old to bed. So if any of this information is wrong, which it's a very good chance that there is, So.

I'm intrigued to know what you have to say about Abigail.

Okay, no, I need to tell you. So there was a bait and switch. So basically at the start, oh.

No, I saw that. I saw that.

Jess walks out and then there's this drone that's going overhead and then they're like no quick, Jess run and Jess runs inside and the drone, which everyone's been speculating it wasn't the paparazzi, it was it. It was day and he was trying to see what was happening.

No, he's hanging on to the drone and he's getting one of his cult member friends to like drop him in there.

Yeah. Yeah, so that's what happens. So Damien came back again and then he was hiding in the bushes. Anyway, Jess runs inside and so because they're trying to hide Jess. Abigail then comes out and wait, wait.

Wait, so they're like, this is too dangerous for you, Jess Abigail, You're fine, come out here.

So Abigail's walking down the path and she's like, ah, fuck is stick ah a bush? She literally walked into a rose bush when she was trying to get to Felix. I reckon. It was the end of the day and she was a bit drunk, and for somebody who's afraid of ketchup, it's very surprising that she decided to dress like a bottle of.

Drink and she chose that drinking producers were trying to fuck with her. She's like, get it out, poor Abigail. What a disaster of finale for her.

Oh god. So anyway she gets to Felix, Holy dick.

Does he deal with Thomas and just say hey, by the way, no it did. It didn't work out, so sorry all the best.

No, he kind of does the opposite, so he talks up Abigail to her face so much like he's.

Like, what does he say? Wait?

Wait, oh, I was gonna do hear her access You're amazing light.

Your Felix ready sure.

You You're so amazing and you're just like everything about you, your wife, material, your you know, just where you are with my family, the perfect person that I should be with.

I should be with you, We should get married and spend our lives together and be together forever. But there's something missing. And then she's like, oh, is that something missing, Jessica, You're more in love with her. And then he's like, yeah, so more in love Anyways, I can't do this, Boice. It's hurting my throat. She took it well, though, she took it like a champ. She took it like an

They've been teasing this the whole way through, like before every id break, he's like, maybe I just won't choose anybody.

Good. Good, that was a good voice.

Yeah.

I like that.

They're really planning a seed of like this will be a Honey Badger two point zero.

But then Jess gets in there and says, I break up with Damien and you could just see so I broke up with Damien. For anyone who didn't know what I just did.

Then do you reckon?

Hang on a second, his face just like he like lit up like a kid in the candy store.

Do you reckon, Felix? Do you reckon? Do you reckon? He you that Damien was there on set somewhere like or do you reckon? He would have watched it back, being like, fuck me, Damien was there, like do you reckon? Imagine if he went to the toilet and liked the cubicle and Damien's like, hey bro, and he's like, for God's sake, leave us alone.

I wonder, I wonder. I wonder what Felix will think looking back on a lot of this. I'm sure, because obviously he lived it, he will know the unedited version, and we've only been given the highly edited version, but I wonder what he will see him for see watching it all back.

So when when jess was saying, I've broken up with Damien and you mentioned before that, you know, Felix's face it was, you know, it went from concern to this big smile, and Felix says, you make me feel so special's you made me feel so special? And I'm like, dude, she's had a boyfriend the whole time. She brought a boyfriend to meet your family. How did she make you feel special?

Do you know? To me? He is obviously wasn't a joke.

That was That was the only written joke that I had with this recap.

That was a joke.

That was a joke.

That was a statement.

That was ah, that was that was. That was a joke. That was because he's because because he said, you made me feel so special? And when when actually she brought the boyfriend and meet the family, was that was that real? Was that fake?

That's very fake?

Oh?

Good ladies, you can fake it sometimes I don't even know. But anyway, that's pretty much it. So then Jessica and Felix they embrace, they kiss and he says, kiss me like you're single, but she's not single because she's in a relationship with him, so he's still confused.

About You really liked that line when he said that it was really dumb.

I was like, I was like, but you're not yet, because I mean it was funny, it was good. He's very good with the zinger one line. It's like you said last week.

You know what they should have done, and I'm really annoyed they didn't. It should have just normally they do like they always every season of The Bachelor, the kissing, and the camera then just pans up to the sky. It should have just panned across and Davy just standing there in the bushes by himself, watching him with binoculars because I know he was still there. There's no way in hell he went home.

Also, it was probably remote somewhere in gold Court, like he couldn't have gotten him home.

Okay, do you know what I would have loved? Another weird thing? Okay, I guess it kind of worked. Is after that all the Bachelor's and the winners that they've come together, they're having a drink and they're like, hey, wow, my god, you picked her and you picked her.

Hey wait, how funny is it that only Lee I got proposed to and said yes. That's the one thing we got right. We were like, Lee is the only person on the show who will say yes, And funnily enough, she's the only person who's engaged.

Oh does that mean there's no shit eating on Monday? Or is the shit eating still going ahead?

Depends on what you're in for. I'll try anything once.

Okay, great. What I was saying before was they cut to them all. Can you call them the losers?

Lauren and Abigail? They will seem fine, completely fine.

Everyone's like, anyway, we're going tomorrow back to work for you? Sure?

Isn't it weird how they all sat around and kind of commentated on the fact that the rest of them were happy. They were talking. Then the footage would flick to the happy couples and it would flick back and forth and back and forth. It was like they were kind of three, the three people just commentating their happiness. It was weird.

But why wasn't Damien in there with those girls He's just been broken up with. They should have they should have had like the last kind of the last say with the three girls and Damien. Why didn't they do that?

Damien got more airtime than most of the Damien got more airtime than Thomas.

I think we should have him back next year's Bachelor. I'm here for it.

No, because he's okay with an open relationship. He just leave with all the women.

Yeah, he's like, you're all coming with me? Episode one, the shortest season of Bachelor ever.

And now they live in a commune in Barron Bay. Anyways, that is it from us. That is Batch uncut.

Now we can keep going, weep going, we cannot.

We're going to be done. That is us wrapped. We thought that this was going to go for a lot longer than it did. Three weeks, a whole lot of episodes punched out in a very very quick succession. Thank you to all of you who have jumped on for the chaotic ride that this has been.

Except for Ellie Jelly, Ellie from the Jelly, from the Jelly, But Ellie from the Jelly, do you know what we joke?

But our actual normal podcast episodes are back tomorrow. So for anybody who has been talking.

About having a finger in your bum during sex, that's.

But I do it with a girlfriend and not with you. It's different. It's still silly, yeah, but it's a different.

Kind of any different to us talking about eating shit.

It's just stop saying that now. Sorry, hit the eating shit quota?

Can we call it the title of this episode, Let's eat shit on Monday?

Can we we all have to eat shit? But no, Honestly, I want to say the biggest thank you because we had to me to you, but also to our listeners who have jumped on board of this, because Matt and I have had so much fun creating this little series. It's really special as a couple to be able to have little projects to work on that we get to spend time together and have a laugh once the kids are in bed. We have so much fun, and so this has been good for us too. Is kind of what I'm saying.

I'm really going to miss all the nice messages that come into my inbox. I'm getting a little bit emotional cute.

Well, anyway, if you want to leave, you.

Just wrap me up.

Don't leave a review for me.

It's just about to open up.

What do you want to say?

No, I'm done, Okay.

I'm done.

Let's go. Let's put the acon back on that doesn't work.

If you want to leave a review for Matt, please do. But also please, if you love the podcast, don't just leave a review, go and subscribe, because then it will mean that the podcast episodes will be in your inbox every single time that one drops. You'll never miss an episode. We've never really pushed how important it is to subscribe to the podcast, but let me tell you it's important. Go and do it right now, and we will be back.

He also, and your radio show comes out. When this gets released, you'll then be doing your very first three pm radio show.

Yes we will, so Monday is our very first radio show. The pickup is starting at three pm. If you are in your car, if you were at your laptop, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, tune in and listen. And if you do miss it, we'll be doing a catch up each week, dropping on Saturday exactly.

And I've got lots of really exciting projects that I've also been wanting to talk about for a really long time that kick off today. I'm doing a spag bowl for dinner, which is a little something special that I've been working on a new recipe with it is barbecue sauce in it for the very first time, shut sauce at this time, just to make the sauce a little bit richer. And that is it.

Well, Matthew, it has been an absolute pleasure.

What else can I whizzle my way into Life on Cut? I feel like my my Facebook algorithm knows how much I like look at Life Uncut the Facebook group, and so my feed is literally just it's all life on Cut and I have to stop myself from commenting on every single post.

What if we just keep recording, like in our bedroom at nighttime, just drop it into the feed every soft and Britt'll be like, what the fuck you guys are doing?

She won't know, She'll never anyway.

That is it from us again. Thank you for joining the ride and you know the dream. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, and.

Tell Damien.

Cheers My love you

Were by da