Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Laura, I'm Maddy Jay.
And this is our second Bachelor recap episode. This week, we're going to be recapping episode three and four, and I just quickly want to say a very big thank you to all of the feedback that we got about last week's episode, because now that Matt and I are stuck in an extended lockdown, we have nothing else to do, so we were always going to bring you this episode anyway.
Okay, question, Laura Burn. What I don't understand is the fact that you're really nervous, and it doesn't make any sense because it's our second time recording together doing the recaps. We've had really great feedback. What's the problem. What's happened.
I'm worried that you, like you know, went hard, went fast, and now you're going to suck and then you'll let the team down. No, that's not true. I don't know. I sat down. I sat down to record this episode. We're recording this episode in our bedroom, so you.
Couldn't pick a place where we would be more comfortable.
And I felt nervous. It was weird. And then I remember I've had three coffees today and not very much water, so I think I'm okay. I've got halpalpitations.
I've had five shots of coffee today, so I'm absolutely off my face and ready to go. Question Laura Ben before we get into the episode this evening, do you think you will have a shower or just wash your feet in the sink? Here we go, which one do you think it'll be tonight? And like me, what's gonna happen?
Wait? Is this how we're going to start every single one of these recap episodes? Are you gonna like out me for some little sicko thing I do? You're gonna wait until we turn the microphones on and then out me to my own audience.
Well, I'm intrigued to know what people think about the situation. I'm a person who always likes to have a shower right before he goes to bed, whereas you're a little bit different. You can have a shower in the morning, you can have a shower at like seven am, and that's enough to qualify for your cleaning for an entire day, for a twenty four hour period. You're like, I'm done, I'm good to go.
That's completely untrue. Everybody listening, that's lying. I have to wash my feet before going to bed.
No, and it's not just washing your feet, it's literally you brushing your teeth, you rinse your mouth out, and then you get your foot.
No one needs to know that.
You bring it up to the sink and you splash a bit of water on your toes, you wiggle them around, do that each foot, and then you're like, all right, now I'm done, I'll see you in bed. How does that make any difference.
I can't go to sleep if I have dirty, clammy feet, but I'm okay with the rest of me. And I just want to make this very clear. One. I know that there's going to be some other people out there who don't like always showering at night time. It's winter, so it's cold. If we don't have any heating in our house, it's freezing. You have a gas heat, yeah, okay, in the bedroom it's cold. Okay, I'm cold come nighttime. I don't like going to bed with wet hair or
feeling wet or feeling damp. So if I haven't done anything in the day, I won't have a shower at night time. I'd rather have one in the morning. That doesn't count for summertime. Summertime, I shower much more frequently. And I can't believe that this is how we spent the first four minutes of this episode.
I mean, at least watch the calves, give the cars a little looking.
Now it's gonna be like your feet, you're under arms and your privates. Everything else is fine, Like how sturty does your belly get during the day. Anyway, with that out of the way, we recapped episode one and two last week. It was a hoop, So if you watch this week's episode of The Bachelor, you would know that we're up to episodes three and four and there's been
a lot, a lot that's been going down. And if you didn't watch it, well, you know what, you can just now skip it all and just catch up on the recap with Matt and nye.
Oh.
I just wanted to flag as well, Laura. Moving forward, we will no longer refer to him as Jimmy. We're gonna call him Captain Kinky.
Why Captain Kinky?
What do you mean? Why Captain Kinky? Because anybody who sits down with one on one is going to fall victim to his lips.
I mean, to be fair, he's only kissing them, Like, what's the How kinky is he? Yeah? Me, I don't know what's going on below the camera.
In the world of the Bachelor. I think he is kissing at the highest rate out of anyone previously. Like, I'm surprised he hasn't macked on with Usher at this stage.
Osh just spent the most one on one time with him, and he's like, hang on, you've kissed every single other person you've had one on one time with.
I reckon, he has kissed Usher. They've just edited it out, fucking editing production.
I wash, just like they removed my kiss. There was more going on. You guys just didn't see our whole story. Okay. One thing I do want everyone to know though, is if you haven't noticed, Jimmy has a one hundred percent strike rate. So far, he has kissed every single person who's been on a single date with, which is like, I know that that's what happens on single dates, but often at least one personal goal a single date who doesn't get a kiss. So he's kissed every single one.
He's also seems to have kissed now every single that he has had extra time with so Lily on last week's episode and this week's episode we're going to get into but he Ma's on in a bit of extra time as well. He's a good old loose lips Jimmy.
And I'm here for it. I love it. I can't get enough of it.
Anyway, Episode three, Here we go.
I didn't expect this single date to be with Ash and nothing against Ash. I just didn't have her on my radar at all.
She's been a bit quiet in the background a little bit, hasn't she. So it was surprising that she was chosen only because she hasn't had any airtime. But she's a hot little Tomalie she is.
She's a professional middldown, professional dancer, and you know how I feel about dancing. I'm a dancer now.
After I thought we were about to say you know how I feel about dancers, and I was like, well, that's going to go in Daily Mail about Matt having some sort of sordid affair on Dancing with the Stars.
I appreciate now a good dancer. I mean, imagine these two in the TikTok world. They're a match made in heaven.
Yes, and when Jimmy leaves being a pilot for his asmiring TikTok career. It's really going to take off.
This date started off as a boat date, which is ideal for Ash because.
I love boats.
Who doesn't love boats, Let's be honest.
I remember our first single date, So our first single date for anyone who didn't see our season, was on a boat, a big black boat. And I was very, very nervous, and I said, I said it probably about twenty five times. Punky did a recap of our single date, and it was just me incessantly saying the word boat over and over, big black boat. Oh, boat. I like boats, boatspace boats, boast boats, and.
Yeah, I was thinking to myself at the time, I felt, Laura is really into this boat right now, a little too much.
It was so embarrassing. So now anytime I watch someone say something or do something on the show where I'm like, oh, I feel a little bit sorry for them, I know how much nerves kind of take control. But Ash seemed really confident on this day as much as I say. She hadn't had any airtime, so therefore I was surprised that she was chosen. When we got to see a little bit more of her personality and who she is. I wasn't surprised that she got chosen like she is
to fool. She is a very sweet girl, and I really like I loved how vulnerable she was talking about her health battles as well.
Yeah, because she had a blood clot which was misdiagnosed and she was on a plane and it spread through her body, so it could have been really serious. But then when I heard that story, I did think, well, how's that gonna work If you can't fly and you're trying to get with a guy who's a pilot. Isn't that going to be a little bit of an issue?
Ashes telling this story and you can see Jimmy's eyes like, ah, fat, what does that mean? So you can never come in a plane?
So look as well, it makes a lot of sense because obviously last week, being on that flight with Brook, it would have been pretty awkward if that was Ash and Ash was like ah mid.
Flight, so I reckon. Maybe Jimmy was like hey, or Captain Kinki was like, hey, I really want to take Ash on the first day on the plane and production were like, that's a terrible age. You should take Brooken instead, she's a sweet, sweet girl. We really like brook. Anyway, the date went off swimming, literally, they went swimming. It was all very sweet, it was all frisbee, a little
bit boring, but it was really mild and lovely. And then Jimmy, our kinky captain, wanted to get a little bit handsy with Ash and so he pretended like he was going to teach her how to play frisbee, because obviously she's never played frisbee before and has absolutely no idea and needs a strong man with a lot of biceps to show her how it's done. But in no surprise to anyone, he used that as an opportunity to wrap his arms around her and pull her down under the water.
It's a move straight out of the Bachelor playbook.
I feel like it's actually a move that's in the notebook. Literally what they.
Played frisbee and mac on in the water? Remember that in the notebook? What did that happen?
Okay, But guys, I want to tell you something that is pretty crazy, And I'm so happy that Matt and I had discovered this because.
We had an argument. Okay, Okay, There is a part where she talks about the fact that she's a dancer. She brings out a speaker and they learned this quite beautiful dance first. It is a dance that would normally take place at a wedding, and they get quite close and it looks like they're going to kiss, but they don't actually show a kiss.
So on the actual episode that we all saw on episode three, there is no kiss between Ash and Jimmy. Whilst Ash is showing Jimmy this dance. But like Matt said, they get close, they're having a cuddle, but there's no kiss. Anyway, the kiss comes later, and the kiss comes just after Jimmy has given her a rose. However, I'm going to fast forward here for you all if you watched episode four, which was on Thursday night. In the very intro edit,
you know how they do like a little recap. We're recapping. On last night's episode, they actually showed a piece of footage that was not shown on that single date, and
that was Ash and Jimmy kissing during the dance. So they had kissed way before Jimmy actually gave her a rose, which in bachelor world is actually pretty controversial because normally on a single date, the kissing is saved for the intimacy scene, and the intimacy scene is during the rose giving like at the single day, so it's really really like impressive and it means a lot more on a date when the bachelor actually kisses someone during an activity.
So normally with a single that it's broken down into parts. So you have like a travel part, so for them it was on the boat. Then you have an activity, which for them is the frisbee, and then you have what's called like an intimacy part of the date, and that was when they were sitting down and having some lunch when he brought out the binoculars and gave her
a rose. And normally it's that part of the date which is at the tail end where you know, you start to get a bit more handsy for one of a better word, I guess for me, it was more natural to have any kind of intimacy at that point because it takes a while to warm up and feel comfortable with that person. I think we had our kiss at the very end of the date.
I remember like staring you down and I was like, is he going to kiss me yet? This has been a long awkward pause. Now I was like, when do we kiss? And it's really weird because, like the producers tell you, they're like, oh, then there's an opportunity that maybe you might have a kiss now, And so you're kind of sitting there being like, do I do it? Does he do it?
I was afraid of rejection.
I was afraid too, like and.
Also actually, and I think I think we clashed teeth.
We did. We still clashed teeth.
When I finally committed and leant in, I was like, ah, help me, smashed tea. The producers must have been thinking, God, these do it so awkward. Just just have a goddamn normal kiss.
I guess because the dates are so broken up, it can sometimes take a little bit to get into the flower feeling like you are actually really connected and like you're you know, you're really getting to know that person and therefore feel comfortable to kiss. So the fact that Jimmy did have that kiss earlier on, I think says a lot, and it's probably also a reason why it was taken out and edited out of that first footage. I actually think Ash is going to go a lot
further in this than what we originally thought. Nah, yeah, mate, you thought Chanelle was going to make it towards the end, and she went home on this epist So.
Don't ruin the episode for.
People, everybody, Chanelle who was the flight hostess, if you know she went home on this episode.
Sorry for the spoilers as well for those playing at home.
Anyway, we will get to that in a little while. Let's get to the group date.
Yeah, I just want to say I think it was a nice date. It was sweet. He's definitely attracted to her, but I didn't see the spark and the chemistry with that I think he has with other girls. For the record, so.
Before we jump into the group date, Ash actually comes back to the house. So there's a scene after her one or one time with Jimmy where she comes back to the house and she has to front up to all of the other girls who are obviously like, oh what did they get up to? What have they been doing?
And when Ash left for the date, she had poker straight hair, which I'm sure probably took her a very long time to do, and she came back with sexy, rugged, beechy wavy hair, which would make me very annoyed if I got dunked on a date and didn't want to get my hair wet. But anyway, she comes back, she has a rose, and some of the girls are not that impressed. Whoop, do you do want to show off?
Look, it's always truck, isn't it. When you have to go back into the mansion and you're confronted with all the other girls who are a little bit jealous, And Sierra is definitely falling into that mold of the villain. That streak is coming through a lot more. But I mean, I still find it very endearing.
I guess that's one of the things I said last week. I was like, I really like I love her like quick witted humor. However, I think at the beginning of this episode, her quick witted humor was very much erring on the side of being mean. And I think that you kind of have to be careful there because she's very funny. Sierra is very very funny, but I think that the funniness is kind of taken away when she kind of goes into the mean category in territory and I don't like that.
I still like it. I've got plenty of time for Sierra.
Oh controversial at this point. At this point, also, I think it's so hard when you come back after a single date, and all the girls are like, did you kiss him? Didn't you kiss him? Because you're in such a tricky situation. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. I remember when on our season, so I was the first person to kiss Matt and.
I was the last. All right, you legend.
No, but I was the first person.
Look at you, Laura Ben You're so bloody girls.
Stop it. You picked me. It must have been something gone anyway. No, Okay, I was the first person to kiss Matt.
But you said that already.
Yeah, but I didn't have to be confronted by the girls because I got back really late, so nobody there was no conversation around did I didn't I? And no one really asked me.
He came back in the margine, nobody was there, Guys, I gotta rose. It's just one person gonna be a cup of tea in the kitchen.
Hey, Laura, Laura, were you gone? No? But then there were obviously there was many girls after me who got kissed. I think Tara was after me, and then Florence. So those girls, some of them came back and were like very very open and honest about what had happened. They were like, yeah, we kissed, you know, it was a great date. And some of them were said, you know, no, we didn't care. So some of them said, I'm not going to tell you. No, I don't kiss and tell.
And to be honest, the girls who said I don't kiss and tell were actually the girls that people became the most angry at, I found because I guess the other girls in that environment just kind of wanted to know what they were being Yeah, they just wanted to
know what they were being faced with. And it wasn't so much in a competitive way, but it was like, I want to know if I have not kissed a guy and there's not really any connection growing, I want to know if you have a great connection that's brewing. I don't want to just keep on thinking maybe it's going to happen for me. So I do think that maybe Ash got the girls off side by saying, oh, I don't kiss and tell. But it's a really, really tricky thing to decide what's right to do at the time.
It's so uncomfortable because you think I don't want to tell them it's going to hurt their feelings.
Where's the guys just like, well did you get a pash world? Lads? Lads, lads, lads lads.
So when our show finished, Matt was like, gosh, you must have made such good friends and like, you know, the Bachelor boys. It was so awesome. I loved being in the house and why are you crying? Like being a girl in the Bachelor mansion is very different to being a guy on the Bachelorette. They're very very different experiences. Okay, so now we have the group date on episode three, and I freaking loved this group date. I love the girls that were on it. I love the activity that
they got to do. I loved like the self deprecating ridiculousness of the dress ups element to it. I fucking loved it.
It was a bit random. I saw one person in the Life on Facebook group did say that it was like there's a sale on Spotlight and they just got a heap of fabric and buttons and little ornaments and put it on a table and said, Ego, we're playing dress ups.
It's like when you have a child and you get them a sensory box and you're like, this will entertain them for an hour. So for anyone who doesn't know what the date was is. I don't know what this Okay, I don't know what it's called, and I can't remember what it's called. But basically, the girls who were on this date rocked up to a look like a pond or a lake or something, and Jimmy had this thing strapped to his feet, which if.
You imagine a wakeboard and you've got these jets and then and you like shoot up, you fly into the air because these jets are pushing down at either side of your feet.
It's like flying with a board, but not a board. It's like flying on your feet in the water.
I'm wondering if people right now are like, what the fuck was this?
It's a waterfoot flying sport anyway, not an Olympic sport, not an official one, but very entertaining to watch your proNT on TV. So part of it was like that Jimmy was a superhero. He can fly on water.
Because Superman was his favorite superhero because of you.
Know, yeah, it was a bit of a stretch. It was a tenuous link. Anyway. Then they had to get the girls to dress up as their own superhero character and create a name and create a persona in order to win extra time with Jimmy.
It's always really tricky on group dates because from memory, Laura, when I cast my memory back to the Bachelor, you know you're getting pulled pillared a post.
Oh was so hard for you, wasn't it?
And I, you know, I sympathize with Sierra when she kind of put it in a very beautiful way.
The girls on Jimmy Life shit. So then it flashes to where the girls are getting their superhero costumes ready, and once again, it is very hard for anybody to get some one on one time in this situation because everyone's trying to one up each other and do their best and get a little bit of attention from Jimmy. And Sierra manages to pull Jimmy aside very subtly to ask for a hand. Excuse me, Jimmy, would you mind putting some signs going to my bat?
I mean, well played. That is very very clever from Sierra.
Not her first rodeo, and that's why I like her.
So then the girls had to present their superhero characters to Jimmy, and look, there are a couple of standouts.
The Incredible Holes aka the Constipated Chicken, so my superhero name is the jj I Professor Pisser PP for sure, I'm and disabled my enemy's by making them kiss their pants with my hilarious jokes. These are droplets of pits. The true standout from the competition was obviously Toxic Positivity Carlie. I think she seems like a smart cookie. So Carlie has the extra time with Jimmy and they go and spend some time having a wine next to some candle light.
I didn't think they're going to kiss here.
I didn't think they were either, because also the extra time after a group dates only a really short period of time. You'll look at like an hour maximum two hours at most.
It's very, very very brief.
I don't know if anybody else was watching what I was watching, but I was starting to feel wildly uncomfortable.
He was charming for a kiss, wasn't he?
He was so intense, and I felt like I was watching a very very private moment. So Carlie was kind of being very reasonable. She was like, you know, this is what I'm looking for in a partner, and it seems like we have similar interests and this could be on the right track. Like she was very reasonable in that it seemed like she wasn't getting totally swept up
in the romance of what was happening. That Jimmy was sitting there and he was like, you know when you're like on a date with a guy and you know that guy wants to kiss you because there's staring at your eyes, then staring at your mouth, then staring at your eyes, and staring at your mouth and staring at your eyes.
Can you tell when guys do it and then trying to.
Think you I mean staring your mouth. Yes, of course, you know when a guy is doing that, you're like, Okay, I get it. I'm like, I felt sorry for Carlie. I was like, Carlie is speaking to you and you are not listening to what she's saying. She is a smart, independent woman. You must listen to the words that come out of her mouth.
She was like, and that's why I think the financial situation in Australia is actually in quite a detrimental state. And he's just like, kiss me.
So Jimmy's going blue in the lips because he wants to kiss Carlie so bad. He also then says to Carlie, are you someone who shows the way that you feel or will you tell me?
And the interesting thing is that he said this with his pants off. Poor Jimmy, he was sitting there in the nude going shore. At what point do you normally like to show someone that you're into them? Clarifying, he did have pants on.
He had pants on. It was awfully I mean, it's all very g rated, but he really wanted to give Carlie a smooch and I didn't think Carlie was going to fall for it, but she got swept up in all those abs and all those biceps. Anyway, So a common theme of The Bachelor so far is that Jimmy kissed the girl he was on a date with and then the date ended. So then we end up at the cocktail party, and the cocktail party was a boring one.
Did you guys ever have a girl code?
A girl code? What do you mean?
Well, the girl code for this season in this particular episode is that no girl was allowed to approach Jimmy. They had to sit back and wait for him to approach.
Oh, the girl code is stupid. Look, I think that the girls tried to initiate that on our season as well, But the reality is it never going to play out that every single person respects that. And the other part of it is is that it's always one person who makes that decision and then says it to everyone. It's not like every single person that environment opted into the girl code. And so if you watch episode you would know what we're referring to is that Jay you to
her business lounge, key giggitdy giggy. I mean, Jane likes she likes a gimmick, doesn't she. The first time in the business Lounge they played chess. This time she's got a little less surprise up a sleeve for him.
I was actually upset there was no more chess. I was hoping for another game of chess.
It really was what's Jay gonna doing there chess?
I'm sure Jimmy was like, Oh, where the hell's the Knight and Bishops? He was having lessons apparently.
But instead Jay had something else planned for him. Business is kind of gross heridy.
Yeah, and that's when she took a dump on his chest, which I thought was weird to see from Jake because she seemed like such a nice, respectable young woman.
Jay did not take a dump on his chest.
Weird that the Bachelor showed that look.
Seven Prime spot. I thought maybe it would be a bit more g rated. No, what Jay actually did, which for some people is probably even more disgusting than dump on the chest. She blind folded Jimmy and she fed him an oyster which looked like it wasn't an ie, and nobody likes a warm oyster.
Now, I thought this was quite clever, the fact that she was making him guess what the food was, and then every time he got an answer wrong he had to take off a bit of his clothing, except.
The fact that he got every answer right, but she made it impossible for him to get the answers right. So he was like, it's an oyster. I fucking hate oysters, and she was like, how wrong, wrong, my little Jimmy. It was a bluff oyster. Take a pencil off.
It was very quick that he was now shirtless in the business class lounge.
I liked it. It was good.
No, no, hang on, hang on a second. If you watch it back, it was actually Jay that made the move on Jimmy.
Good or h.
So I'm just saying, I know we're very quick to say that it's all Jimmy here, but he was just an innocent bystander in this situation, being forced fed food, taking his clothes off, and then being macked on. I mean, my heart goes out to the poor guy.
Hey, do you know what, don't let anybody tell you that being the Bachelor is not hard work. Everyone always says it's hard for the girls. But we know who the true, true suffering victim is in this whole thing. Jimmy, the kinky Captain.
And I will note that, I think, Laura, I think that's an Australian Bachelor record that we've had three kisses in one single episode. So Jimmy, well done.
Which surprises me. Three kisses in one episode and it was still the most fucking boring episode. It was boring, but episode four was really good. So you know, we took a little dive and then we're back up there again.
Okay, before we got to episode four, we mentioned it earlier. Chanelle went home. She was a flight attendant.
I like Chanelle and Maddie somebody who we've never seen on the TV. It's always interesting because at this point in time, there's a few main characters who, like we all know Lienera. Yeah, there's a few main people. I don't know if you can call them characters. I hate saying that, but there's a few main players that everybody knows and that you easily identify. You're like, yep, that's my girl. And then every so often you'll get a voxy with someone and you're like, fuck, is the heck.
Is that is?
She come?
She always been here? Unfortunately, Maddie was one of those people.
We miss her, We never got to really meet her.
Episode four and we kick off with Jimmy arriving at the Bachelor mansion to griddle the girls, and Holly has a bit of a hands on greeting with Jimmy.
That's nice batch on a barm Yeah is that that? Yes? Well, actually Jimmy has arrived at the house with his beautiful puppy dog, Billy, and I think that most of the girls are probably more interested in Billy than Jimmy at this time. But it's one of those things where I remember when I went on a group date with you and your sister was there, and everyone, even me, like, everyone wants to really impress or be liked by that
person that's a member of your family. In this case, yes, it may be a dog, but in your instance, or in our instance, it was your sister and you want that other person to like you so much.
Anything that is remotely connected to the bachelor, you were like, I love that. That is fantastic. Jimmy could arrive with a brown snake and he goes, hey, everyone, this is my pet snake, and all the girls will go, oh my god, it's amazing, it's so cute. Can I please hold it?
I literally thought you were about to say he could arrive with a shit, But he could have arrived with a shit in a paper bag and people would be like, I love shot bags. Leave it on my doorstep, it's my favorite. Set it on fire. So Jimmy picks Holly for this date, and a lot of the girls are really unhappy with this. And Episode four is actually the very first time we start to see the drama unfold
and the division, the division between the girls. Yeah, and obviously now as much as for us, it's only been three episodes that has kind of taken place before this EPP. For the girls, they've probably been in there for a couple of weeks now, so they have already started to form their friendship groups. They've already started to get to know the girls that they do and don't like, and there does seem to be this huge division that has happened between Steph, who we said last week may have
been a little bit of a villain. She is definitely filling that villainous role as of this episode, and Sierra, a couple of the other girls have kind of formed a bit of an alliance. And on the other side of that, we have Holly, we have Brooke, and we have Carlie, who are some of the sweetest girls in the house. And now, I know editing is a very
tricky thing. I know that maybe there's a picture that's being painted for us, but there was a lot that went on in this episode that I think made everyone feel a bit.
I just really want to know why Steph hates Holly so much, you know, why you're a bitch.
So I just have no time for it. I mean, hopefully like Jimmy sends the dog back and not her today, because I felt like there must have been something more that has happened off camera that we haven't seen. However, maybe not, and there is always the chance that maybe there is just a whole lot of jealousy that's going on, and you know, being in that environment doesn't always bring up the best in people, and maybe Holly has a little bit of a target on her back.
I reckon Holly looks like the kind of person. The only thing I think it could be is that maybe she's stealing food. How food is so important in the mansion, Like maybe she's taking all the good salmon's steaks.
She's been eating all the fucking avocados.
And she's eating all the avocados, and that's why Steph hates her.
Yeah, it makes sense. Nobody likes the person who puts all the avocados in their breakfast.
I mean, and we just can't see that it happens when the cameras aren't there.
I do think at this point in time, there does become a bit of a riff between the girls who are getting time with Jimmy and the girls who are feeling insecure because they haven't had time yet, and jealousy starts to brew. Like that's a very real and very ugly thing, And unfortunately, I do think that we're seeing that with step a bit. And Steph did call Holly a very colorful thing at the beginning of the episode. She also called her that at the end of the episode.
See your next Tuesday, which I don't think is that bad.
You don't think the sea word is bad?
I don't reckon it's that bad?
What have you no?
Come on, we will have been called bad names.
There's not much worse that you could be called as a female than a cunt.
Do you reckon? Yes?
I don't reckon. I know you can't call someone that.
No.
Okay, Okay, for the record, I think that is inappropriate language and should not be used at any time except in the Bachelor mansion.
Go on, so Holly now, Laura, I'm a little bit nervous for you here, okay, because you know you're not always correct when you try and pick out these winners, and Holly is your number one that you went with last week.
I reckon, I've got it in the back from the get go.
You know, it was about three seconds in where I thought, yep, yep, she's got this.
She's just such wifey material. She is beautifully pleasant, she's so lovely, she's got the best smile on HER's energy, and she speaks so well in front of camera as well.
Like you know, I hang it, that's because she's an actor.
Okay, if you don't know this. There's been a little bit of conspiracies going on. Apparently she's got a star now profile. Apparently she's an actor, so maybe that adds to why she's so comfortable in front of a camera.
And also that's why the other girls probably hate her, because they're saying that she's just here to boost a profile, because that is also one of the biggest undertone controversies that rips people apart scandalous.
They can go Detective Maddie j on the case. You are welcome, So I don't care, even if she is an actress, even if she's going to be on the next Home and Away. Right now while she's on the Bachelor, I really really like her. I think she is warm. I can tell that Jimmy likes her because Jimmy got his tongue right down into her esophagus and they macked on on a paddle board. And it didn't take them long to do that either.
Poor Billy. Can I just say that.
That dog someone think of the dog?
Dog just wanted to go for a little swim. Next thing, Jimmy and Holly just dry humping each other.
Did you not see the dog when the dog got knocked off the paddle board. The dog was trying to swim to shore, and Jimmy's like, come back here, Billy, and Billy's like, fuck this, I don't want to be here with you. Make it stup.
Oh God, do you actually think that was his dog or was it just an excuse to try and get surf dog Bachelor back on the scene. Jimmy, how long you had the dog for?
Yeah?
Ages, I grew up with it. Just love it so much now.
The reason that when we were talking about episode number three and I was talking about Jimmy's date with Ash, why I thought it was so interesting that they had edited out the kiss that had gone on when Jimmy and Ash were having the dance is because Jimmy also kissed Holly during the activity. So they're doing this stand up paddleboarding, which, to be honest, would not have been a very romantic moment. And that was the one who
was like, holy shit, they're kissing during another activity. So he seems to really things move quickly for our friend Jimmy.
But don't you think that if she is going to end up with Jimmy, wouldn't it be too obvious then to leave those kisses in there, Like wouldn't they be better off leaving the kisses with somebody else like Ash to try and throw us off the scent, Like they don't want to go too hard and make it seem too obvious, Like I mean, because right now I'm thinking it can't be anybody else, like it has to be Holly. But then they're making it too obvious for Holly that if she's going to end up as number one.
I think the reason that the girls don't like her, So the fact that, like there's so much jeopardy around the other girls in the house not liking Holly. I think that that is what's supposed to throw us off the scent, because I think we're supposed to be like, why do all these girls not like Holly if they've got such a strong connection, Like what's going on? I think that there's some there that's meant to make us
doubt Holly. So I do think that that's why they've played up the drama so much between the girls and Holly, and she's kind of become this like outlier to the group. Sign sealed delivered, She's my girl.
Question for you, Laura Burn.
Who else are you gonna ask in his bedroom, Matthew Johnson for the lamp over here for your dirty undies on the floor.
Thank you for that, Laura. I'll put them away after we've finished recording.
Can you do the washing side?
What did you think of the fact that Holly was putting him on the spot asking about his career and what his ambitions were, and the fact that he wants to do long haul flights which means that he's away for five days at a time, and reference to steph who said that those kind of pilots you know, like to get a little bit freaky once they're away.
I think that that's such an important question to ask. I actually like that she didn't just go along with whatever narrative that he wants for his life. You know. I think that it's so important that they've sat down and had these conversations because five days on, five days off is not going to suit everyone. I don't think
it would suit me. That's not a lie style I would want to sign up for, especially with kids and like looking at spending you know, our lives together, because it would mean that I think as the partner of someone who is a pilot who is away five days at a time you would then have to maybe compromise on your career a little bit if you want to
take care and raise children. So I think that they're super important questions, and I really, you know, I enjoyed how vulnerable she was about talking about her family and talking about her parents and why she feels skeptic that that sort of arrangement could work for her because she's seen how it can play out and how it doesn't always work for everyone. Once again, I love Holly.
So just to confirm, do you still think that she's going to win the show? Obviously it's like it's not a competition, but in the same sense, it is a competition.
So you're talking about you and my prize. I just wish you'd clean your own underwear that's on the floor.
At the group date. And I can only assume that it was a really cold day then in BATCHI world, because the girls are rocking up in thick catman do and north paced jackets.
It was actually the first thing I noticed, so comesdeling again.
She's got the biggest jacket, the kind of jacket you'd wear on an expedition to Antarctica.
It's the first thing I noticed, So like normally on a group date, you wear like your cutest out there. You put on like a little play suit, you get your hair, did all sweet. Every single one of the girls from dumb puffer jackets. So it must have been absolutely Baltic. I feel really sorry for them because the next night they were in cocktail dresses at the contown.
Part the group date that the girls did on this occasion was that they had to make their way through a maze, a garden maze, and during the maze or throughout the maze were going to be different questions that would set them off on a course. If they answered the question correctly, they would end up taking the fastest route to Jimmy. So basically on the way to Captain Kinky, there was signposts left right and it would tell them
which way to go. If they chose the wrong answer, which was the answer that wasn't compatible with Captain Kinky, they would get sent on the longest route through the maze or to a dead end, which would be the longest route. Well, you know, I just I mean accuracy is key at you Johnson.
I mean just want to make sure that people understand all facets of this game. The first person to make it through to the end of the maze get some very special time with Captain Kinky.
The first lady to make their way to the middle of the maze find Jimmy and ring his bell. Settle, Settle, it's not a code for something sexy. He's actually got a bell.
So he's actually got a bell.
They've run out of group date ideas on this, so then now they're just at the point where like, if you find him, you get to give him a risky.
Jimmy's just there, grease stuff, sitting there on a table and naked. Come get me gone.
No, nobody was masturbating Jimmy on a group date. Unfortunately it didn't go there, but Brooke did win the group date. She got some extra time with him, and she got to play a little card game which was clearly set up. So basically, they had all the cards faced down on the table. If if you pick a matching card to each other, you got to do whatever activity was on the card.
She flips the card and then she has to masturbate Jimmy.
Can you please stop using just stop talking about masturbation? So what happened? Okay, so the very first card was that they had to have a glass of wine together. The second card I've forgotten, it's irrelevant. The third card was that they had to kiss each other, and of course every single card matched.
Surprise, surprise, Jimmy kissing at the end of a date. We would have thought it's really weird.
I do find Brooke and Jimmy a little bit more on the awkward side, Like I find their interactions not as like just free flowing and smooth and like comfortable with each other is what I find him with some of the other girls.
And especially after a date like Holly, where you're like, oh my gosh, these two just have so much passion. There's so much chemistry between them. It means a date with Brooke once you compare it, it's chalk and cheese.
So I have a question for you, Matt. One of the questions that was asked and the compatibility in the mate was where do you keep your tomato sauce? And I think this is going to be controversial for everyone. Is it in the cupboard, do you keep it in the pantry, or do you keep it in the fridge?
One I believe that sauce, once it's open, should be kept in the fridge.
I know that that's why you're my soulmate, because I don't have to fight you on where things should be kept.
But I also just I like it when you put it on a snag and it's that nice contrast of a hot snag with cold sauce.
Plenty of time for a bit of cold sauce.
What about public displays of affection was another question on there. What do you feel is appropriate? Their Laura, I.
Will mack on with you in public and grab your bottom nothing else. I used to be how do you feel about that?
That great?
You were very like? Sure?
Previously I was anti public displays of affection. I just thought it was a bit awkward and I didn't really like it. Now I'm very into it.
Do you reckon that going on a show and kissing twenty four women on national TV probably had something to do with it.
Absolutely.
It's really when you really throw yourself into something. The more you do it, the better you feel about it.
Guys, what a surprise.
While Brooke and Jimmy are on this extra time and on the date, it becomes very obvious that the girls who are on this group date are feeling pretty bitter, mostly because usually on a group date, you at least get to spend some time with the Bachelor, even if it's as a group. But in this instance, none of them really got to spend any one on one time with him. They didn't even get to spend group time with him.
Because he was waiting naked, playing on the table and made what a tease.
So Steph was pretty upset about it. But Steph is definitely not dealing with this feeling of competition and rejection as well as some of the other girls. I hope that the other girls could break their legs.
But Okay, I understand why she's so frustrated, because in that situation, if you're somebody like Steph, it would feel like you are far more deserving of extra time with Jimmy because Brooks already had a full date with him. You know, she doesn't need more time. That would be so frustrating to hear that and to see that.
I get it, But somebody who's watching The Bachelor, and anybody who's been on the show knows it's not like what's fair. It's not how the show works. It's obviously one who he's attracted to, two who wins extra time. It's not a completely fair standard. It's not like he gets the exact same amount of time with every single person. It's just not how the show works. And so I get that you can be upset that you haven't gotten time yet, but I think it speaks volume about how
you vent that frustration. As we see when we get into the cocktail party, the name calling and the real venom that she has towards Holly is pretty bad and it's pretty ugly behavior. And I think that a lot of times when we see this sort of behavior, it gets chopped up to editing or it can be frank combiding as another big thing that people talk about these days when it comes to how a show is put together. The thing with this is that we see Steph say that Holly is a sea bomb. We see it come
out of her mouth. Not only do we see it, they've even gone to the effort of doing a rewind so that people can see it again.
Okay, let's just talk about the cocktail party. Let's just for a second at the very second up, back it up the very beginning. All the girls are kind of you know, everyone's a little bit stressed about getting more time with Jimmy's stock standard cocktail party chat. Holly then makes a point of saying, I won't grab him because I've had a full date and I know how much the other girls want to speak to him, So I'm going to sit back and play it safe and let
the other girls have their time with Jimmy. But it's interesting to note that Jimmy ended up positioning himself quite close to Holly when he entered the cocktail party. So, yeah, he grabs her first. They go away, and it looks to the other girls as if Holly has grabbed him, and so then Stef's reaction to that is that Holly is a see next Tuesday.
But this is also the second time that she's called hollybat in this episode.
She used that multiple Yeah, she.
Used that language at the very start, and then she used it again. Now. Yeah, look, I mean, I'm not
down with name calling where we're adults. I think, even if you've got a beef with someone and you're not happy with someone in that environment, calling someone those names makes me think that maybe she'd had a few wines as well, because by the end of the night, she couldn't even remember that she'd said it, or she was so gas lighting of that situation that she was denying that she'd said it once she'd been caught out, or did you not pull her the sea word had on heart?
I do not have a recollection of calling her. Isn't she fling again?
After all that drama with Holly and Steph and the rest of the girls, we come back from an ad break and it's Jay.
It is the business term.
It needs to be called, not the business class lounge. It needs to be called like the activities room. Because every time she brings him in there, she's got some weird ass plan. Jimmy must be like what next.
She's definitely heard that Jimmy is Captain Kinky and he likes to play dress ups. It flashes to them, and then they have in the fucking business lounge dressed up as tennis.
Players on the knees are playing pink pog at a coffee table. What is going on?
Right? There's a lot going on. I don't understand. I was like, this is your one chance to like get to know this guy. Talk talk, yeah, be intimate with him. It's almost like when you go on a first date with someone, or like a second date or a third date and you don't know what you're going to talk about, So you like create activities or you like Google conversation starters. Jay has gone out of her way. She's always scared to have time by herself in the business lounge with
out a fucking activity. Next week it's Sudoko.
She's got like a pottery wheel. She's like, so we're making bowls, baite.
Didn't you make bowls with Florence on our season? Yes, that's uncomfortable for everyone.
Thank you for reminding me. All right, now time for the rose ceremony and Laura, you're going to be very disappointed here, okay.
Devastated you Ready for this drum roll?
We said goodbye to none other than Tamlin.
Who's that.
I like the look of Tamlin, but you said that she's very similar looking to Jimmy.
No, I'm joking. Tamlin didn't get near enough airtime. We did see her very briefly on episode two, where I think she was the celebrant at the photo shoot.
Yes, yes, she had three words.
She also kind of looks like she could be related to Jimmy, like they look like their siblings.
But that's a compliment because Jimmy's very attractive.
People also say that we look like siblings, and people like to date and marry people who look like them. So, you know what, I'm surprised it didn't work out.
Right now, it's like looking into a mirror and Hannah. Hannah also went be very honest. I don't really know much about Hannah.
I'm sure she's a nice girl. I'm sure she's really upset that she quit her job and put her house up for rent and you know, went on the Bachelor Mansion for three weeks and got no air time.
Oh she's twenty six, She's got plenty of time full in love. So I know people will watch that episode and go, why is Steph still there? She's causing all this crap. That's ridiculous. But honestly, when you're a bachelor, you don't notice all that drama going on because as soon as you get to a cocktail party, you might say a few words to the group and then you're off having chats and that's it for the whole night.
Well, that was one of the things that Jimmy actually said to us when we interviewed him. He said that, you know, there was drama that went on, but he was completely oblivious to it until whoever it is that he chose Lucky Number one, brought him up to speed on all the drama that had kind of gone down after the show had finished.
So right now, in the back of Jimmy's mind, he's probably driving home from each cocktail party being like, well, that was such a lovely night, everybody was so pleasant. Meanwhile the girls would be screaming at each other and there'd be tears, and.
Did you know of any of the drama that was going on with us?
Ummmmm no, even I remember, I remember I didn't want to involve myself in the drama. I was like, I'll let that play out.
Oh you think you're going to rise above it? You think you were better than our drama.
Didn't have time for the drama. Still busy falling in love.
It's too busy trying to juggle twenty four women.
But there was times when I would be coming back from a I be coming back from a chat, and I would look across the room and there would be a girl crying, and I would think to myself, Laura, oh, I really need to check on her later on, and the night would get away from me and all of a sudden. It was the rose ceremony, and.
Hey, I wonder how she's going now.
I thought about checking on her, And that's that's what matters.
They do say, it's the thought that counts. Matthew Johnson. Anyway, guys, I reckon that that is a wrap. I reckon that's enough from us. We hope that you enjoyed episode three. Well, actually, I'm gonna say that again, and we hope that you enjoyed episode four as much as we enjoyed episode four. I know that the general consensus on the Facebook group was that episode three was a little bit of a snooze first, But I reckon, it's just going to get
better from here on in. So strap yourselves in, put on your undies, and let's go.
That was weird, So wash those feet in the sink because things are about to get hectic.
Anyway, Guys, you know that real if you haven't subscribed, if you haven't told your mom, your dad, your friends, and everybody else. Oh also, before I get into that, we're back next Tuesday with our very first real episode, Met and Britt. We're back behind the microphones.
I didn't know about this.
Well, we don't pay you enough for you to be on every episode matter.
You don't pay me anything, true, I.
Pay you in love anyway. Guys, tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your friends, tell your sister and your brother and your cousin and I don't know. Just keep it in the family and share the love.
Because we love love.
Can you do it properly? We love lest.
We love love, we love, we love it. It's great love love love.
Speaking of, We're gonna go wash my feet.
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