Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. And today, who's the day? Guys, It's not the day, it's just thursdays. Well, it's our day, you know. And you know what today is.
Today is the day where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This is our Ask Uncut episode where you guys writing your questions and we answer them.
It's always a highlight of my weight because you never know what you're going to get.
It's a really original idea, isn't it. It's a little fun back it is. I have a really sexy question for you today.
I love when you bring me a low key sexy Actually not even low key. I just love the sexy question. It's a high key sexy question. Love a high key sexy question. Have you got anything to bring to the table before we jump in? Has anything happened to you in the last couple of days? My kitchen flooded? Does that count? Do you want anything worthwhile kitchen flooded?
Of course, your kitchen flooded. My kitchen flooded. I'm still dealing with Marley having gastro. We got the all, okay, for her to go back to daycare today. That was exciting, and then my kitchen flooded. I deal with very boring stuff in my day to day life.
This is the one.
Thing like doing this podcast is like the one thing that keeps me semi attached to adults. Otherwise I would just be ruminating in child pooh, dirty nappies and broken kitchen ware.
I love that you put me in the group of adults. I mean, it depends on the day, doesn't it. Look I had an interesting discussion that I just wanted to ask you. This is this is good, nothing to do with absolutely anything great, Let's talk about it on the podcast. Well, the only person I have to ask is you, because you're the only other adult contact I have, and literally everyone in my life has moved away. I feel like, actually I'm the common denominated man. I should wonder why ever,
Rue's moving Like Eve, my boyfriend went overseas. Even I'm a boyfriend is like kay, I love you buye. No. I had a discussion with a few people a few days ago. My sister isn't one of them, her partner was one of them. I want to know when you're in the shower this isn't getting sexy. Do you literally wash your whole body with soap or wash or do you just like do the main parts, like the underarm's face, privates, but and then just let the water do the rest.
And this is a genuine question, because this got quite heated. I have had this conversation with someone before. I don't think I've ever washed my legs. Okay, was the last time? Who the fuck washes the shins? Thank you? Who goes? Oh? My gas strop nemius aka my car muscle needs to be washed? Like, you don't hug with your leg, you don't kiss with your leg, you don't eat off your calf. Well, I mean normal people don't eat off their calf.
I mean, like unless I've been doing something that's particularly dirty, or I've been to the beat something where like my body has been Let's say, if I was doing the gardening, I'd probably washed my shins. But in a normal day to day, in a day when I've been wearing jeans and just you know, taking out the garbage and living a normal life, I'm not washing my shins.
Do you wash your feet though? Okay? Again, and you know what, so many people are gonna come and question this. Okay, but I told a story about how I did shit in the shower. You've actually set me up for the rest of existence. Like, I'll never beat that, I genuinely on a day to day again, unless I have him walking around barefoot and I've walked you mud, or I just feel like my feet are dirty. I don't scrub my feet in the shower. I let the water do it.
I literally just like, do my face, do my underarms, do my private parts, and then that's it. I don't scrub the rest of my body, but I know a lot of people that do, And I'm like, how long, like my whole order would run out I actually do. I think I washed down to where I shave and then I just shave up. So like, what do you mean, Well, like I wash down to like the tops of my thighs, and then I shave from the ankles to the tops
of my thighs. So I kind of I usually kind of wash them kind of, but not what you shaved to the top of your thigh Why don't you shave the top of your thighs. I just kind of no one sees them. So you you're telling me you've got like a three centimeter radius that goes around on your thighs like a garter's unshaved. It's Harry hairy. You've got a hairy patch on both legs. I've basically got the whole upper thighs hairy. But like, let's be real, everything
from above my knees is hairy. No one fucking sees it anymore. Okay, So I feel like we can settle. I mean, like, you know what, we love a pole here at Lifeline CUD. I want to put a pole on. Do you guys wash your legs like you're just your actual legs on a day to day Just.
While we're really getting into some personal hygiene here, when was the last time you washed your bra?
Yeah? I'm pretty good with that. Statistics say no, Statistics say otherwise. Statistics say you lying, Brittany.
Well, apparently women don't wash their bras once a month. That's like an average thing for us wearing bras.
Actually, No, in all honesty, I probably wouldn't be that far off. I reckon I would be a probably a three weeker unless I'm talking like a normal bra when you just go to work and sit down when you're not sweating it out, it's not a crop top that you've gone to a cycle class in and like you need.
To wash that shit, Well wait until you re lax heating, because if you don't wash it every day, you smell like four day old coffee. It's that what's in this rooms rotting soy milk in my top.
Okay, anyways, this is too much. This is too much. Let's get into something that is even more, which is this question from our very first listener. Ladies, I love your podcast. I love how outrageous you are. However, I love that we keep that in every question.
I am super conservative, but that doesn't mean a podcast, girl, where did you get lost? We we're happy that you're here, and we're happy to bring you some very unconventional topics from time to time. But she goes on to say that doesn't mean I don't like a bit of butt stuff. The problem is I just don't know how to ask for it. Do I have to ask for it in the bedroom when things are getting steamy? Or do I ask for it out of the bedroom.
I've recently started dating a guy and things are very vanilla, even more vanilla than what I'm used to, and I really would just like a finger in the backside. How do I ask for? First of all, I think you need to look up the definition of conservative because you don't seem to be. You can be concervative, you can love missionary and also like a pinky in the stinky. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying I don't think you are. I think like I think you've put a label on
yourself that maybe you are not. I love this question because the old Brittany, and I say the old because I myself have learned a lot by doing this podcast and the people we have been speaking to. You thought I was going to say something else.
I like with age, I just you know what, I just grab his hand and stick it up there.
Now, look, it's not for everyone, and that's okay. Before I did the podcast, and before we spoke to some of our sexologists that we've had on and we've done our research on that, I would have said, just start the dirty talk and say what you want. In the bedroom, I would have said, let's just get freaky, tell him what you want, try and make it sexy with springs ear and like put your sword, remember, yeah, do it
now start it in. But now after speaking to some of our lovely sexologists that we've had on we literally had this question coming a lot because I think a lot of people I think it's a problem that they have. They want certain things, they think maybe their partner doesn't. They're embarrassed, they don't know how to ask for what they want, and they don't know how to have those conversations.
But we were told that it's probably more important to have the conversations like this and what you want in the bedroom outside of the bedroom, have especially when it's something you don't know how your partner's going to react. So the advice we got was have the conversation. I mean you could have it every dinner. You'd be like, hey, like I've been thinking you want to try something different?
Could you imagine talking about a butt play over a spaghetti snara now if you're eating a sausage or something. But like, okay, I'm fence sitting with this because I don't think that every single sexual conversation has to be like a let's sit down and talk about I would like you to put your index finger into my backside, please, sir. Let's change bank accounts because interest is better and can you put your finger in my buttetally.
I reckon you can do that in the bedroom. I think if you want to try something that's really outlandish and like a little bit left of field and wild and you've got like a bit of a kink fetish, then sure it like outside the bedroom is important because you kind of want to make sure that there's safety and comfort and everyone's consenting and that everyone's on board. But I reckon if you just kind of back up on it a.
Bit and just give, just give a few subtle clothes, like I don't think this needs to be a big conversation. I think in a bit of a heat of the moment, did a sexy husky voice. You can tell him that you want that, and then if he doesn't do it, or he's like what, be like, I don't know, sorry, sorry, well I didn't say anything.
You mom, Hey, you no, and and like in all honesty, I'm just repeating the advice that the suggestion from the sexologist. If this was me and I was trying to bring something else into the bedroom, I personally would rather do that in the bedroom. That's for me, And I know the advice could say otherwise, but I would probably you know, maybe starting to cures, maybe sounding a freaky. Maybe you'd
say something like, I can't begome, I'm gonna be an example. Now, maybe you would say something like, hey, you don't try something different tonight, something like that. As you're like taking each other's clothes, what would you say, Britt, Well, I'm not going to give you my whole dialogue time with the next car. Then I make a flow chart step through. I want, I want to I want to step by. I want to color my numbers about how you would ask Jordan to stick his finger in your bum? Oh,
he would run a mile. But I think that I do think that this is something and I think this is something you want. This is something you've been thinking about, and it is something that is one hundred percent okay. And you're in a relationship with someone that you love. I hate the fact that you feel like you don't know how to bring that up to him because you should be in a place where you are comfortable enough.
So I think next time you're in the bedroom and it's starting to get heated, I think just start the conversation and say hey. You could start it literally with hey, you want to try something different? Tonight and he's gonna say what. And I also think it's not that wild, Like it might be wild for you to ask for it, and it might be something that pushes you outside your
comfort zone, which is totally fine and totally normal. And this is not in any way to like diminish how big of an issue this is for you asking for it.
But I think it's probably a pretty common thing that a lot of people like and a lot of people ask for. So I don't think that you're going to be seking for something that's like so outrageously wild that he's going to turn around and be like, oh, you want me to do what? Strap it on, girlfriend, let's go.
And if you can't ask it with your partner, then you're never gonna live out that fantasy. So go wild, Yeah, live your best best life with a finger in your bub I still love that you said, back up on it. Okay, question number two. And we're getting into a couple more serious questions now. Okay, I'm bringing question number two all right. Hit me. So, on the weekend, my boyfriend, his friend, my friend, and I decided to kick on for a
few drinks after a footy game. My boyfriend's friend goes home and leaves just the three of us out, so it's just me and my boyfriend and my friend. The afternoon drinks turns into a bit of a pub crawl, and at the second pub, my single friend says to me, you know, I would date your boyfriend if you weren't dating him. Cool quick. She then says, in what world is that okay to say? Should I let her know that she's upset me and made me super uncomfortable and
move on with her in my life like normal? Or is this friendship canceled? What do I do? No, I don't think the friendship's cancer. Yeah, Like, look, it's a weird thing to say she'd obviously had a few drinks. I don't think it means that she's going to act on anything, but like, I don't know. I mean, I don't think it's a bad thing that your friend thinks that your partner is desirable and a good catch. Like
I tell it as a compliment. I would hope that my friends think that my partner is a good catch and like, in another world, in another time, would pursue him because he's such an eligible guy.
Hey, actually that's a lie. Some of my friends did try and pursue him. I'm still friends with girls in the Bachelor.
I was looking at you shocked. I was like, was this who would have done that? And why are you still friends? But no, your situation. Look, I think I can understand that there might be a little bit of you that feels threatened. Obviously, you trust your partner, He's done nothing wrong. But if in this you feel threatened by your friend or you feel like you can't trust her, then that is a bigger conversation to have. However, if you do actually really trust her, then I think take
it as a compliment. I agree with Laura. I think that this does not have to be a big thing. If you got the feeling from her that this is more than that, then yeah, I would be questioning a
lot in that friendship. And obviously you have felt that to some extent, otherwise you wouldn't be writing in But if it's just the fact that she was like, like, I would be dating him, girl, run with that, because that's better than imagine if I went to you, Laura and was like, I would never date someone like Matt, like he is terrible, Like you want you don't want your friends to think your partner is terrible. You want to have a relationship that people want because that means
you're doing it well. Would you date Matt in another world? I mean if I didn't, If I was dead and my two children needed a mother, would you step into that role if I had to happen for you, I mean a dead spirit to help the kids that I got really morbid, really quickly. Wait, Okay, I'm going to put this on record, write an article about this one. Brittany, will you date Matti J No? I am not dating Madge. I mean you shared a bachelor than mine. No. I
often think that. I was like, imagine if you and I were on the same thing, on the same one, would probably not be friends. Actually, one of my really good girlfriends almost ended up on my season, and I remember sitting down with I hadn't told her that I was going on, and she had been approached by the producers as well and the casting agents, and she had been asked to go on there, but she declined, and I said yes, And I didn't tell her because I
didn't want it to become a competition. I wanted her to make her decision regardless of what my decision was I wanted it to be completely independent of each other. But she still makes a joke about it, and she's like, remember that time that we almost competed over the same guy. And then weirdly, she asked me to.
Start a podcast with her a week after we had agreed to do it, and she's like, why do I keep missing like my life's calling?
A week after bag Ass Girl that ship sailed. I have been in this position before where I have said things to my friends, like when I was in the depths of my ten years of singletom, when I was on dates with terrible, terrible people. I have said to one of my best friends before. I mean, like, I'll just call it out. Renee and Andrew. My remain's on my best friends. They have such a beautiful relationship and
he treats her like an absolute princess. And there were times that I would say to her like, God, you're lucky, Like where do I get one of those? And I in no way would ever date him. What I mean is like you snagged a good one, like you should be chuffed? Where can I go find a good one? Kind of thing? And that was never a problem with our friendship. Because I didn't mean anything by it other than like I was just in a place of despair, and she knows there was nothing by it because I'm
a best friend. I think that in this you should just be flattered unless you actually think something is going on or she's going to make a move. Then for sure, if you believe that there's something more, one hundred percent say something. Otherwise you're just going to dwell on it and it's going to implode. I think canceling the friendship is Honestly, I think that is an overreaction one hundred percent if all she's really done is in a backhanded way,
I guess given you a compliment. Yeah, And I also think as well, like, unpack your own insecurities around this. You know, is there something or a bigger reason as to why you feel this way? Do you feel a little bit insecure in your relationship? Are you comparing yourself to her and you're thinking, oh, like am I matching up? Which obviously one that's all your own junk to unpack.
It's not a reflection of your relationship with your partner, and it's certainly not a reflection of your relationship with your friend. That could be like some insecurity that you're feeling there as well as to why you've had such a big adverse reaction to this. And I also do think a little bit maybe and not to make an allowance from drinking, but I think that sometimes things can be said in not the best way when there's been
a few too many drinks. And maybe she did mean it as a compliment and she meant to be like fuck, like your boyfriend is amazing. She's probably doing a real boyfriend's amazing, and I'm jealous of I don't have someone amazing in my life like this. Yeah, not physically him.
Yes, So I mean, see how you feel in the coming weeks when you're around your friends, See how you feel the next time when the three of you together. If it gives you the he begbi's because you think that she's disingenuous and you think that there's something else there, then like totally, like maybe make some distance in that friendship. But if this is just one thing that she's said, I think canceling the friendship is a really extreme step away.
Ultimately, Also, who's dating him? You are lucky lucky lady. Yeah you roll with that Alrighty, I have a question here, and I feel like everybody may have been in this situation at some point in time. Not everybody, but Laura. Not everyone is food in the shower. You need to let that one go. Okay, and not everyone's been online dating. But I think that this is going to be way more common than what we might think straight away. Okay.
I work in an office with a relatively big team. Our office is pretty close knit despite the size, and as such, I know a lot of my colleagues's partners from various work functions. So this is where it gets really tricky. There is a woman in my office who is about five years older than me. She's engaged, and I've met her fiance a few times. The last time was just a couple of months ago. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw his face pop up on Hinge when I was away in Queensland for a
weekend with my girlfriends. We're both from Perth, so I can only suspect that he was in Queensland on a holiday without his fiance. What do I do do I tell her like, maybe they have an open relationship, but I really don't think that they do. And I also think he must have been doing the dirty on her.
Oh boy, he's doing the dirty for sure. This is a little I mean, this is a tough one because you're in an awkward situation. No one wants to have that conversation. I have been in that place before. I had anxiety over it. I was in a really like I was like, fuck, I do not want to do this, No pardon wants to do this. But deep down I was like, would I want to know? Yes, the answer
is yes. If you didn't really know this woman, like you'd met her through a social circle once, then I'm like, maybe that's not your place, but you work with her, you said you know her, you know that that is her fiance. One hundred percent I think that, yeah, you probably need to have the conversation. And you are one hundred percent right. They could very well be in a happy, open relationship. So I think you need to approach it
with a little bit of caution. Don't approach it with accusations, but approach it like, look, I just wanted to flag something with you. This may not be my place, and tell me if I am out of place. But when I was in Queensland, I saw your partner online dating I'm not saying I know why, and I'm not saying
he was necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just want to alert you to the fact that in case you guys haven't agreed to be seeing other people, I just want you to know that I saw him on there, and I'm really really sorry that I'm the one telling you this. And again, I'm sorry if I'm out of place, because if he is doing the wrong thing, this is going to come as a real shock to her and
she might get defensive. That might be her first reaction, which is completely one hundred percent normal reaction, is to be like, well, no, that was not him. A. There's a level of embarrassment. B. There's a level of shock and disbelief if you think you're engaged to someone and then someone literally pulls you out on your lunch break and says, I think your partner doing the dirty, Like
I know. When that happened to me, my first reaction was just like, Okay, you're just obviously trying to ruin my life, like he would not do the dirty on me. Oh yeah.
And there's a massive, massive potential here that she's not going to believe you anyway. I mean, there's a good chance he's gonna lie and say I wasn't. She's got a mistaken she's crazy. When it was someone that looks like me. Yeah, someone stole my photo.
Maybe my account just managed to like randomly pop back up in circulation. We've all heard that from a guy. So okay, look, I've been in a similar situation to this. This actually happened to me, but it happened as in I found out that my ex boyfriend was on Tinder while we were dating after we had broken up. So this is a bit of a weird story, but I didn't to tell you anyway. So I'd been dating this guy for a year and a half and we had had some issues with infidelity issues. When I say that,
I mean like he cheated on me. It was a cheat, did I mean? He had issues with keeping his dick in his pants? That was the issue, because it's reoccurring and it was crazy. But anyway, and so.
He would say to me, you know, he I would jump on Tinder, and I had found out from other people that he had kind of fired up the old dating apps, and he said he only used them as a way of getting validation. You know, he wanted to feel validated. It was like a bit of a dopamine hit swiping and having people like want to match him whatever in sert. I roll, yeah, and I fell for it, you know, and I kind of made excuses for him.
And anyway, long story short, after we broke up, one of my staff, which makes this so much more embarrassing, one of my staff came to me and said, Laura, I have been so frightened to tell you this because I don't want to lose my job. And she's like, but I don't want you to get back with your ex because dick.
Fell out in his pants again. I know. She was like, because I have been in this really, really awkward situation this last couple of months. Basically what had happened was is my ex had fired up Tinder when I had been away. He had matched with my staff's friend. Right they had gone on a date I had come back
from being away. Who knows what happened. I didn't go into the full details with her, but it wasn't until my ex came to work this one day to pick me up from work and I introduced him to my staff member and my staff was like, holy shit, hang on a minute.
My friend just went on a date with my boss's boyfriend, Like you cannot write this shit, guys. And she didn't tell me until after we had broken up from like you know, other things that had happened further down the track, and I was so upset. I wasn't upset that she'd kept it from me personally, but I just was like, I wish I had known, Like I wish that you had trusted that I wasn't going to shoot the messenger
or act crazy. I just wish that you had come to me and told me that and given me the same courtesy that I think you would expect for yourself. In her defense, though I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna try and not be biased, I would probably be equally petrified when it was my boss and when you when you were scared for your job, Like imagine going your boss being like YO, hate to be the one that tells you, but your boyfriend's doing the dirty.
You'd be scared that they would be like, you know what, you're fined like no, or they just turn around and don't believe you, and then there's this complete mismatch of power. I completely understand, and I also think in this situation. The thing that makes it so much harder is that this is your workplace and the old adage of like, don't shit where you eat right like you don't want honestly don't do it. It's really bad for your gut health. Guys her any help, like holistically just don't know.
But I think you know you are going to bring some drama into your life and you cannot control the way that your colleague reacts to this, and she may shoot the messenger, this may go badly. I think you really have to sit with yourself and unpack your own moral compass. Do you have an overwhelming feeling where you need to tell her the whole girl code thing, all that stuff comes into play. And if the answer is yes to that, then go and tell her. And I think do it in a really, like Britz said, kind
and considered way. Maybe go and have a coffee with her outside of work, so you're not doing it on a lunch break where she's then going to go back to the office and be in tears. Maybe see if you can have a coffee with her after work on a Friday or something where she can have the weekend to kind of collect her thoughts and you just have to say, you know. Hopefully you took a screenshot because
that would be really helped full in this situation. But I think sit it down and say, you know when I was in Queensland, so that she can at least put a date time frame to this. I say, I saw this profile. I don't know what your relationship is like, but you know, if I was in your position, I would want to know this. And you know, I'm really sorry to be the person to give you this information, but I just want you to be able to make the best decisions for you, especially because she's engaged.
Yeah, it's a big thing. Just think what you would want to do. You would want to know. I would think you would want to know. I would want to know. I actually asked Jordan this too, and he said that, like in a role reversal, he was like, it wouldn't matter to him what level of relationship he was at, whether it was a week in like it, just say it was me a week in, a month and six months in engaged married. He also wouldn't care who the
information came from. He would one hundred percent want to know. So I found that really interesting. He was like I wouldn't have cared if someone off the street came up to him and was like, look, just so you know, He's like, that's just information. I'd want to know because I want to be able to make a decision on who I'm spending my life with knowing the whole realm of informations. And I was like, that's really interesting, because I wouldn't probably want Joe Blow to tell me off the street.
But you also like you don't know where they're at in their relationship, Like she may already have her doubts. There may already be so many things that she is unsure about, and this might be the thing, Like this might be the catalyst that she needs that little bit of proof to kind of go Okay, I need to make a better decision about my relationships.
Like yea. She could also be like, yeah, I told them to get lucky that we have a week a year that we say we can do we want. Like, there are so many aspects to a relationship. There's no normal relationship and there's no one size fits all for relationship.
You know. I know people that take a week off a year from their relationship to do what they want and then they don't tell each other other, but they know that they're doing it, and then they just get back onto their relationship and it's what keeps them together long term. That is wild, but I mean I know it works. I know there's loads of people. We need to do an episode on open relationships. Yeah, I would
love to speak to a listener. Actually, that's I would love one that's probably married or long term open relationship because I'd love to know the ins and outs and how that works. So if you, if you are in that, maybe slide into our dams.
And that is it from us, guys, the world of wisdom, unqualified advice. I have no training, we have no qualifications. There is not a certificate on my wall. We have enthusiasm, a lot of it, and a lot of your exterior.
I have seen some shit in my life. Guys, guys, keep those questions coming in. Just remember to write to our Instagram Life Uncut podcast with your questions. Put at the top of the message that it is asked uncut. Also, keep those accidentally unfiltered rolling in. We love those and remember nothing is off limits. Make them as sexy and as weird as wonderful as possible, but make sure you captu that message accidentally unfiltered too, so that we can go through and categorize them.
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