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This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, Adam, welcome back to another episode of Life on CANT. I'm Laura and I'm Britney and this is ask gun can't out down and dirty sexy, little saucy number?
Will we answer? You're deep, You're dark, and you're burning questions? How funny is it when ten so this morning? You know we're mid morning now, but I got up early, went for a walk run with Delilah down to the park. I got a coffee. You know, I hadn't brushed my hair yet, didn't put any makeup on. You know, one of those days you're like, let's just get up and get up and at them. Oh yeah, yeah, it's just
essentially what I know what's coming. Yeah yeah. So essentially what I'm saying is those days where you're like, I'm just gonna let my natural best self, my natural beauty shine through. I'm just gonna be I'm gonna be okay with waking up, makeup lers, walking out of the house and being one with how I actually look in the world. Yeah,
like who I really am. And then I was in the home office waiting for Laura and Produce a Kesha to come over and still hadn't got changed or anything stim actual where it didn't put any makeup on, still hadn't brush my hair, and Laura walks in and she's like, oh babe, are you all right? And I was like, what do you mean. She's like, you don't look great, like you've been crying. Like this looks like what's been
going on? And I just had that moment where I was like, Wow, this is just what I look like. This is me with no smoking mirrors, no natural light, no makeup, no hair, and it's like it reminded me when one time, ever, one time to work, I didn't wear makeup at all. I was like, I'm going to be all natural. I was in the hospital and I remember walking in I reckon ten people that day said to me, are you sick? Are you unwell? And I was like, oh my god, I just bok.
No, I'm sorry. In my defense, that is not what happened. I said, are you okay? You look like you had been crying because you had super red eyes. Had nothing to do with the makeup, had nothing to do with fresh skin. We're all here for it. It was because your eyes were red, and you said, yeah, actually, I've been feeling really unwell. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think feeling great.
No, yes, but that was a cover up because great, I feel like.
You're like, oh yeah, I feel actually no, yeah, I must feel like shit because I look like shit.
Yeah, totally. I have miss sleeping. Well. Do you know what the problem with you?
Brewt is that you do always wear makeup like you're You're always very well put together. And that's not the problem with you, like that, you're great, but you're always put together.
Okay.
The difference is I never am I never really ever wear makeup. So anytime I do wear makeup, people like you look amazing today, But no one ever really says to my face that you shit because I don't want ninety nine point nine percent of the time because you cannot wear makeup.
You are a natural beauty. I am not shut up anyway. That was our start to the day. We're finally sitting down in front of each other, a couple of coffees deep, and we're getting to your question. No, do you know what I want to get to you first? So something that came out in an intimacy challenger.
Yeah, look, the intimacy challenges. It's been challenging. Put it that way, Matt. We kind of stopped talking about it, didn't we. It's been not really many updates recently.
I don't think I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't think you have many updates.
We know we have been intimate. Do you know what Matt and I had a fight in last night? We went for dinner and I tried to hold his hand. I was like being I was like being nice, I was like being a loving partner, and I.
Don't know I to hold his hand.
Well, has anyone else experienced this? Like you've gone out for dinner, or you've done something with your part maybe you've been to a party, whatever it is, and you feel like you have been particularly cuddly and and like affectionate, and then they just haven't met you with that affection because maybe they didn't notice, or they kind of weren't in the remood for whatever the reason is. So then I progressively got more annoyed at him. So then I started playing a game where I was like, oh, now
I'll try and hold his hand. If he doesn't hold my hand, I'll just get angrier on the inside.
Yeah, because you're almost to the point where you're like, I want to get angry now, so you do one more thing, yes, doing one more thing to siss me.
Then I tried to give him a kiss and he pulled away from me, and I was like, oh, oh, well, we'll have a fight when we get home.
He pulled away and we did. Why did he pull away?
Just wasn't into it, didn't want to kiss me. He's in the middle of his vindaloo, I.
Gues, does he not understand how the intimacy challenge works? Maybe he's just sick of being intimate now he's like I've had enough naked store. Okay, So that is your update on the intimacy challenge.
Okay, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. There's been something that came out. It was last week, so we're a bit old on the news front. But it's important to my life and well not that important to your life, but I want to talk about it anyway. The Bachelor you might have seen if you've been following along the rag trade, The Bachelor has been postponed and till next year. And now we kind of have been having these conversations for the past few months.
We assumed this was coming because.
So my five year anniversary with Matt was three weeks ago, which means that it was the final episode of our season. It would have aired three or four weeks ago. So that's how far behind this year's season of Bachelor is, Like, it's come, it's gone. The time period for it to be on TV is well untoly passed, except we all know that they did all this pre publicity and pre promotion for The Bachelor back in like what was it April or May or something, and we've got three Bachelors
this year. It's a new format. It was filmed in Queensland and then radio silence crickets, absolute crickets. So I've been thinking about things and I have a few feelings either the Bachelor's filming, like this season was so monumentally shit that they've decided to shift it into next year or can it all together? But obviously what's happened? So the Love Boat, it's this new reality TV show, dating show that Channel ten is putting on.
Go on a boat, You go on a boat.
I feel like it's a weird cross between like Love Island and Below Deck.
They've just tried to hybrid the show. Yeah, or just like, what are those giant cruise ships? Princess the Princess? What's the giant cruise ships? You're telling the story. I've been on a docks in Sydney, the biggest guys come on. Okay, scrap back.
What they must have done is they've obviously looked at the edits because they're not going to run two romance shows back to back. They've obviously looked at the cutdowns at the show itself and been like, the love Boat has more potential. The love Boat, we think is going to rate better than The Bachelor, because if they thought The Bachelor was going to be a fucking huge success this year, there's no way that they would have parked it to an indefinite date in twenty twenty three.
I also have a lot of feelings come at me.
I feel like this year, I don't wait when you were like, I have a lot of fear feelings. I thought you're gonna say no one gives a fuck, and I actually think no one does.
No I care to the point that I want to discuss it. This is not keeping me up at night, but I think, and it's a big call, but this year, I think the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and the Bachelor has I think it should have been rested. I think this year we needed to have a break from it for just one year, twelve months, and then move forward into next year with something maybe a little bit fresher
and new vibe. But I think it was very obvious with what was happening in the media, people's reactions, it needed to be rested. And turns out it didn't need to be wrested because they have decided to rest it. The problem is they filmed it, they've shot it, they've put the money in, they put months of people's time in. There are hopefully three relationships out there now because there's
three suitors, the three male bachelors this year. Three relationships out there now that are supposed to what survive the next A twelve month period, potentially a twelve month period of a secret relationship. I don't think that is going to be possible, So I understand why they're doing it. They've decided that, Okay, this is probably not going to be received that well this year. Great, I don't think it would have been either. Let's put this new love
show on. Australians love new shows. We love new reality TV shows. I love new reality TV shows. Hey, I'm on one soon. I think that this sholl be received very well. But you've shot yourself in the foot. What should have happened is we probably should have waited the twelve months and just filmed it next year, because now the excitement's gone a little bit. These three bachelors have been released way too early. Their relationships are not big call,
They're not gonna last. I would be so surprised if in twelve months time, when it is, any of those relationships are still going strong. Because you can't live in secrecy.
Well, I mean so for anyone who doesn't kind of know, and if you if you've been listening to the podcasts for a while, you might already know this kind of how the setup of the Bachelor works. But Matt and I had to keep our relationship secret for about five and a half months before filming had started. And it's really challenging because it's not so much just keeping your
relationship secret. It's not like you can sneak across to each other's houses because the bachelors have been announced, so paparazzi know exactly who the bachelors are.
So they won't do you like a whok.
Yeah, and so they're not anonymous anymore. They're not to just live their lives in secrecy. So you are literally doing six months or five and a half months of long distance. That's what Matt and I did. We got to see each other a couple of times, but it was all organized through Channel ten. There was security guards there. It was in a blacked out room. We got driven in wigs and coats and like costumes, basically in disguises.
We got driven out to an airbnb in Richmond. We got to stay there for like one night or two nights, and it was fully security guarded up. They had all the windows blacked out so that no one could take photos into the house. And that's how Matt and I got to see each other during that five and a half month period. Had they made us do a year of that situation, I think that the stress, and I'm not saying that we wouldn't have worked out, that stress and that secrecy would have had a real toll on
our ability to have a healthy and great relationship. And I think that they have as much as The Bachelor, because like unlike Maths and some of the other reality TV shows, they really care about having the success love story at the end of it. But the thing is is that they've shot themselves in the foot. They now have three suitors, they have an entire season, and the likelihood of having any successful relationships off the back of it is almost moot.
I do think that they will still air it, though. This is what I don't think they're gonna can it completely. When you think of how much when are they gonna play it?
They're going to play it alongside Mass like the Juggernaut. Are they gonna Mass starts in January? It's not going to go up against Mass. No, it's not going to be early in the year, So it'll.
Be midyear or then it's Lego Masters. No, it'll be probably when it usually Yeah, and that's the number one chal It'll be what it usually is, which I just think. I just don't think they're not going to air it at all, because that would be such a huge waste of money that let's be real, people in Australian TV,
they don't have the money to throw away anymore. So if they've invested this and all they think of how much it would have cost for the production, three months worth of everyone that works on it behind the scenes, the post processing, the talent, everything like this is a very large amount of money.
So I can't wait to watch The Bachelor at four pm in June next year.
It's gonna be great streaming. The other thing is I don't know if you saw this, and I don't know if I believe it or not, but one of the Bachelor guys was seen online dating. Oh I believe it. Recently he got caught out saying well, here's your dating profile. Obviously didn't work out, and he then went and said, no, no, that's old from before I filmed. I just forgot to delete it. But I I think I'm calling their bluff.
That old chestnut, that's the that's the exact same excuse makes boyfriend used to use, yeah, same twenty five times it's an old profile. I swear it's dormant. Yes, right, well we've all heard that before.
You know it has active five minutes ago on it.
Right, All right, let's get into the questions from you guys. Thanks everybody who's written in questions today. We have some real doozies and a couple that a cad on tricky to answer.
Actually, we're going to give it our best shot. Okay. I am going to kick start with last weekend. I finally got back into the dating scene after exiting a toxic relationship four months ago. Get it, Get it girl. The date went pretty well. It was our first time meeting after matching on Bumble, and safe to say he checked a lot of boxes for a first date. Kind good chat, gentlemen, you get my drift. After a few drinks together, we made our way back to my house.
All was going very well. Now I hate to say it, but the sex was super, super disappointing, even in the morning when we were sober. So we can't even blame the fact that we had had some drinks. It just felt like a dead starfish was laying on top of me and he didn't seem to know the first thing about female orgasm. My question is, can you teach someone to be good at sex? And is it worth the effort. He's twenty eight and I'm twenty five. I just feel like he should probably know by now. Hey, maybe he
was trump. Maybe he nailed it. Maybe he was going for the starfish technique and we nailed it. I don't think anyone enjoys that, though. Why would you be going for that.
Maybe he okay, yes, you may have been sober after the night out. Maybe he wasn't like, maybe he wasn't at peak perform It's maybe he can do better.
I think give him another chance. She did. She said in the morning they had sober sex.
But like it was maybe he wasn't sober. Maybe she was feeling sober and he was still really tired. And it'd been like, no, we're not throwing him a bone.
It was just I think.
I think, if you really like him, and he's great in all other aspects, and he is a great, great guy, just give it another chance. And if the sex is monumentally so bad, because there's only so much that you can teach, right, you can't. You can take an eight to a ten, and you can take a five to a seven. But I don't think you can take a five to a ten.
If the starfish is already deceased, you cannot bring that back to life. I can't resuscitate a dead starfish. No, look, I'm all jokes aside. You definitely can teach someone sex, You can teach someone intimacy. You can teach someone the way you like it. And that's the thing. It's it's actually not that common to go and have like a one night stand or meet someone for the first time and it to be explosive, amazing, perfect, perfect fit. You both like the same things like that is pretty rare.
The whole idea is when you meet someone is you'll have your moves. Everyone has their key moves, everyone has their signature moves. You know what you like. It's different, but you need to find the compatibility. You need to work together to work out what works well. So I one hundred pcent would be giving this guy another go. If he was amazing and a gentleman and the chat was there and you got along and you actually liked him as a human being, go for it again. Let's
give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Let's think that he can do better. Let's think that he can learn. And so I think maybe next time you need to take the lead. He Maybe don't just let let the dead staffish lay on you and crush you to a slow death. Take the lead, get up on top. We'll do anything. Just try and jazz it up. If you put the effort in and you're really trying and he's not picking up the signals and he's not doing anything, he's not bringing anything to the table. You guys are sober,
then yeah, maybe this isn't your person. But the question is can you teach someone sex? Yes, you can one hundred percent get better in a relationship or in friends with benefits or whatever. You can one hundred percent get better. I do agree.
I think sex gepts better and better the more you know someone and the more you know what they like and like how to kind of get them off quickly as well, Like you know, you can kind of get in the early days you're kind of still sussing each other out. And also what a lot of people do is they use the moves that they think they're ex liked, do you know what I mean? Like they're doing sex in a way that has worked for them in the past, and maybe that isn't the way that it works for you,
and that's totally fine. We're all different, we all enjoy different things. I think exactly. I agree one hundred percent give him another go, and I do think that you can improve someone's sexual prowess. However, here's my question, brit have you ever had a monumentally dud route that you have been able to get them to attend? Like, I just don't think I've ever had a situation in my life where sex has been so bad and then it's gone to a place where it's incredible.
I have never had it from I haven't had it from a dud to a tend, but I've had it from not great to a ten. Yeah, one hundred yeah. I've dated people like that before, Like you know what, You've did it for a couple of months and because they just don't get I mean they don't. They have to learn what you like and what your groove is and once I've one hundred percent done that. But like you, guys have to commit and.
You really like a project. That's what I get. It loves the people project. She's like likes to leave men better than the way she found them.
Yeah, so that the next person that finds them has like the fucking most amazing relationship ever. Yeah, you are welcome everyone out there that is dating my exers.
Okay, I think yes, Look, give it another go. Don't like throw in the towel straight away, have sex a few more times.
Be very verbal.
Like that's the other thing as well, right, Like, sometimes we don't want to ask.
For what we want in the bedroom because we.
Feel bitter, uncomfortable or awkward, and we try and do more subtle things or try and we try and suggest that we want something, but we try and do it in a really subtle way, and sometimes subtlety just doesn't work. Ask for what you want. If you want them to put their hand there, tell them to put their hand there. If you want them to put their mouth there, tell them to put their mouth there.
But I understand, and I'm going to say this, there's a lot of people out there that don't have the confidence to say that even in a relationship yet, let alone the early days. So if you don't have the confidence to verbally say do this to me, do that to me, you can show them without the verbal dialogue. You can roll over, or you could just say, let's do rollover. Just roll over. You can do the prone staffish. You can up super and staffish, prone staffish, sideway stuffish.
At the end of the day, don't give up on this guy. He seems like a nice guy and a gentleman, and I think we need to Everyone deserves a benefit of the doubt. Hey, do you know what He might have gone back to his friends and said the same thing. He might have said, oh, she was no good in the bedroom, because maybe he thought he was doing a good job and he thought you won't come to the table. You don't know, so let's definitely give this another world, all right.
I've been seeing a guy for a few months now. I've recently learned that he has a few rather unique kicks, which is so fine, no shame here. But last night, while we were doing the deed, he whispered to me my chubby little whore, and then ask me whether I mind when he grabs my tummy because he likes it. I mean, go off, cis you do you? But I don't know if I feel comfortable with this, and I kind of feel offended.
I don't think I'm a.
Big girl, but I do have a bit of chubb so it's fair. But what do I make of this? And how do I get past this? Sincerely a non kink shaming but kind of self conscious gal, oh I.
Have there are so many layers to this that I want to appeel off the first I don't even know if it's the first and foremost. They're all first and foremost. When you just said my chubby little hare, you just said, but I do have a little bit of chub so it's fair. That to me is such an untrue and unnecessary statement. To say that you have a little bit chubbed so you should be called a chubby wore is so far from the truth. Like fair, he wants to
call me chubby? No, that is absolutely not fair. In my books, I want to start by saying that, secondly, you don't have to be called anything you don't want to be called. In the bedroom. I understand that kinks, you're two way street people have different things. Get them off. That is totally totally fine. But this just has to come down to a conversation. This has to come down to an adult conversation where you say, I don't like it when you call me this, So maybe he gets
off by calling you different things or different names. Maybe there's some other way, Maybe he just likes to verbally speak to you. There can be something, some sort of agreement between the two of you that you can reach where he can call you something or a statement or say whatever that you are actually happy with. But you're going to dry up real quick if he's saying things to you in the bedroom like this that make you
feel uncomfortable and turned off and self conscious. Like at the end of the day, this is bad for everybody involved. So you just need to be very very vocal with saying, hey, I actually don't really like it when you like say that to me. It doesn't he turn me on, it's not getting me wet, it's not getting me horny, Like I actually want to stop having sex with you right now. Okay.
The big thing about this, and I think this is quite interesting, is like what part of it is the offensive part. Is it the fact that he's calling you a whore? Or is it the fact that he's calling you chubby? Or is it both? Is it the whole thing? Because like, are you someone who really likes dirty talk? Do you like being called a little hare like some people do? And that's totally cool.
I think it's a chubby part because she then says he grabs her tummy when he says it, So he says the chubby part and grabs her tummy totally.
And I guess the big thing in this is that there's so many layers to this part of me. My very first, my very first thing that I think is, like, why is being chubby so offensive? Like why do we think of that as being such an offensive thing to be called? Which obviously, like he gets off on it. He doesn't think it's something that should be found offensive. It's something he's super sexually aroused by. So like in saying that, he means it as a compliment. Society tells
us that being called chubby is not a compliment. And I totally get that. I totally get that that feels degrading and it feels offensive. I do think that there's like a bigger thing to unpack here around fat phobia, and like why we see that as being such a problem when it truly fucking isn't And everybody has has fat on them, we all should have well I shouldn't say we should, but like we all do have fat on us, and There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
When it comes back down to kinks, and it comes back down to what you're comfortable with, kinks are a conversation first. It's never just in the bedroom you whip out what you want and then hope that the other person's okay with it. It should be an out of bedroom conversation about where your boundaries lie and where their boundaries lie. Because his kinks are not more important than what makes you feel self conscious or what you are okay with. And I think that that's the bigger question
and the bigger conversation there. You're not shaming him by saying that you don't like something that he likes. That's not a shameful But at the same time, he's putting you in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. And I think ultimately, when it comes down to sex, nobody should ever be doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable, that makes them feel more self conscious, just to please another person.
Also, to be honest, he sounds like he's done the right thing. He sounds pretty great. He said to you, do you mind when I grab you your tummy like this? Like he has asked you the question, And I feel like maybe you're in a position where you felt like you almost had to do that because she wanted him to get off. And then you've tried it, which is amazing, you realize you don't like it. That's it so, and he's asked you really openly if it's okay. I'm sure
he's going to be very open to the conversation. In reverse. If you then come back and say I'm actually not happy with that, He's gonna be okay because he's polied enough to ask you in the first place, and respectful enough to ask you if that was okay totally.
And my big bet is that a lot of people are not okay with it. A lot of people would feel super uncomfortable being called that.
And you are allowed to change your mind. You said yes, you are now allowed to say no. That yes doesn't commit to the rest of eternity because one time he said it was okay to do it all right.
Sitting next to my brother in law of nearly twenty years in the car a couple of days ago, I caught a glimpse of a Snapchat conversation he was having with someone that is not my sister, And I know for sure that it wasn't her.
She was driving at the time.
I didn't see the whole conversation, but I clearly saw a message from the other person that said I love you. I think the person name on Snapchat was Ali or something similar, and there is no one in our family or his life by that name. I'm also confident it's not his mum or sister because they have never been affectionate like that before. I'm not sure what to do. Do I ignore it, who knows what I actually saw? Do I confront him or flagger with my sister first.
I think part of my concern is the preconceived idea that hiding things in Snapchat is really easy because it obviously disappears any advice appreciated. So you think you saw something, You think you saw a name, not one hundred percent?
Could he be cheating? What does it mean? This is hard because you're not sure what you saw. You could fuck a lot of stuff up by not being sure. Okay, And the way I'm thinking right is, what you thought you saw was a name that you're not sure about. It could have been Ali, could have been Alid, could have been Alexander, could have been a friend, could have been a lot of things, but also could have been
Cali Press, I love coffee too, Calie Press. Would Ali be just like she miss Misconsac stretch Land.
There's a coffe shop down the road, cock Catty Press, and it is very good you are.
That is a stretch of events. But the other thing that that gets me here is when you said I think I saw love you or something similar. I think to my friends all the time. I would say that to a lot of people in terms of not saying, oh my god, I love you, But if I was having a banter situation or someone sent me a funny gear for they reminded me of something, I would say
something like, oh my god, I bloody love you. You know in that term, like we called our boss that we loved him this morning, which spoke we did our boss and he says and we were like, fuck, I love you. I think we need to clarify this hang on just for like for Radio World and there's no other weird relationship going on. It was like it was a funny thing and we're like, bloody love you. Do you know what?
Richie helped me secure a really exciting thing for us, secure a really exciting thing for our live show. It's a surprise. And when that all happened, I said, I love you. Yeah, And if Matt's all that, and when he didn't have any context, he would have been like, why are you telling your boss that you love him?
But A, yes, it's very exciting. Your life shows amazing. Come buy some tickets if you haven't, or there's still a couple left. But secondly, that's my point. The word love you now can be thrown around and use in so many different ways. If you don't know the context, you're not going to understand. So A, you don't know the context. B you don't know the person's name for sure. See you don't for sure know that it was love you because you're unsure it's just what you thought you saw.
There is a lot going on here now. On the other hand, yes, there is a high chance he could be cheating because it's Snapchat. That's what it's designed for. It's designed so that you can do whatever you want, say whatever you want. And it disappears you're in a bit of a predicament because obviously you're close to your sister. You've seen something. Your question is do you just bring it up with your sister, or do you go to
him first? I am unsure. This could be playing with a lot of fire if there is no proof, is there relationship sound? Is it amazing? In every other aspect? Have they had queries in the past of infidelity? Do they argue a lot? Has there? Is it long term and secure? Like? What are the levels here? Is this gonna be something that's really out of the blue, Like you think this guy is the best guy ever there together forever, and you're like, this is very, very unusual
for him. But I would go to him before her.
Oh see, nope, Nah, I would get her, okay, but then you got here. That's a lot to go to so. But I would go to her and be like very casual. Hey, I do not know what I saw, but I think I saw this on SO and So's snapchat. I don't know if you have an open phone policy in your relationship. I don't know if this is something you can bring up with him. I don't know if it's something that you can ask to see his snapchat. It made me feel uncomfortable, and I want to tell you because I
don't want to keep secrets. I'm not accusing him of anything, but I want you to know what I know so far. If this was my sister and I'm thinking about my sister and her relationship and their marriage. If I saw something on Mikey that's her husband's phone, and I wasn't sure and I felt it made me feel that uncomfortable that I needed to write into a podcast to get advice, I would just go and have a conversation with her first. But I also would very much want to be like,
I am not accusing. I'm not saying that he has done something wrong. I'm just saying whatever I saw made me feel uncomfortable. Do you know what it could be?
Well, this is interesting because for the first time, ladies and gentlemen, Laura and I have whole opposite answers. I think, like, what you said is fine, but I would go to the guy purely because I would ask the same thing of him. I feel like this is actually pretty funny. I feel like I'm a good judge of character lol. But yeah, not when it comes to any but you
know people character and also people's reactions. If you put him on the spot and you say to him, hey, I saw something on your phone from Ali saying that you love him, like what's that about. He has no time to think about that, he has no time to try and come up with a lot. I just say,
I don't know what you're talking about it there's nothing there. Yeah, but you will read straight away there'll be a moment of panic on his face, or you will get a vibe this is what I think, right, And then he's gonna come and say whatever he's gonna say, he's gonna make it up. Oh that was a friend about this
that you're gonna get a vibe. But I think before you go and explode a whole relationship with her, with your sister, I would think it through because you're actually not sure of anything, which is why it's really hard, because you don't want to start planting seeds and doubt in our relationship when there is nothing to base it on. So I would be just getting a little feel from him, just a little feel, and then you can go to her.
But I would my first stop would be him. You might decide that you're going to go to her regardless in the end, but you just want to see what he says first. I'm not saying, get the vibe from him, and then decide to go to her. But you're going to get a feel and you're gonna be able to go in with a bit more confidence.
Okay, So if you saw something in Matt's phone, you would go to Matt first before you would say anything to me.
If I saw on Matt's phone, if I ever saw his shoulder texting a girl and he said love you, yes, I'd probably ask him. Okay.
So I guess my feeling about that is because I do have such an open phone policy with Matt, where if you came to me and said, hey, I saw something that I don't know what I saw, I would be so fine and confident to go to Matt and say, hey, this is a really weird conversation.
Britt has told me this what's going on?
And he would say, here's my phone, here's my Instagram, here's my snapchat. Have a look, like I feel like, because our relationship is open around especially around phones and communication like that, he would be like, here, have a look, and then that would put my mind to ease. But I don't think Matt would say, here, Britt, have a
look to put your mind to ease. So I think, like I guess in what I'm saying is is that I had that open communication with my partner, and so it feels like that's the conversation I would want to navigate with them, as opposed to somebody else trying to do it.
For me, Well, I wouldn't navigate. I would still go to her. I'm not navigating it, but I just because you're so unsure, I feel like speaking to him and getting a reaction from him and an explanation is going to make you a bit more sure one way or the other. Like you're gonna get a bit more confidence to be like, yeah, nah, this this isn't right. And then you can go to her and say, hey, I
saw this. I just did see this, and I asked him and it was a bit his answer was a bit fucking weird, you know, like, I'm not sure about that. I don't know if you guys want to check that out, but that's what i'd be doing. But it's difficult. There's no right or wrong answer here at all, and you don't know. So for you, Laura, amazing. You guys have a very open relationship with your phones. Not everyone has that, so you don't know what's going to go down in
that relationship. If she goes and demands to see his phone. It could start something over nothing, who knows, So I would be putting the feelers out with him, gauging his reaction. But again, Laura and I have different answers on this one. So I think it's like, you know the situation better than us, and you know what they're like as individuals and their relationship better than us.
But I also think, like you nailed it, there is no right and wrong answer. There is no perfect way to navigate this. Even if you decided to not say anything at all in this situation, that wouldn't be the wrong thing to do, like, because you don't have all
the tools, you don't have all the information. If you said, Okay, I'm actually just gonna not do or say anything, that would be a perfectly fine response as well, because you are potentially blowing up a lot of shit without a lot of proof, and that's a pretty big thing to go into this conversation with as well.
But on the back of that, guys, we want to do another update of Ask gun Cut. We want your answers if you have ever written into us or your friend has written into us, and we've answered your question and there's something that has come out of that. We want to know what it was. So this is a prime example, like I probably am going to lose sleep over knowing if this girl goes and tells her sister, or just.
Take his phone and go through it. When he's gone to the toilet or something. Go through his phone, go through Snapchat.
What's gone?
It disappears, but you can't you see Okay, wait, I mean the wrong person. I don't have some I don't have Snapchat. Does it not say like that? You you can see that there was a message and then it's disappeared, or you just there's no trace of anything.
Well, I think if you wanted to, you could just delete the whole trace.
There's no trace of anything. Oh oh so you can see that stuff? Okay, produce kiy. She's giving us the update, she's giving us the night the before one one. So you get like this message was sent, Go through his phone, stalk his phone. I'm fine with that. Fucking go through it. Don't check your partner's phone. Just check your sister's partner's phone.
It's what I'm saying, is we want to do and ask gun cut after math again. We want to update you guys on this but I would personally love an update on this. I want to know what happened. Did you go to your sister? Did you go to him? Did you pretend it didn't happen? What did you do? Do you steal his phone? Did you stalk him? Did you stay outside his house for five weeks straight to see if you did anything wrong? We want to know
the answer. So if we've ever answered any of your questions or your friends questions, please write into the DMS Life Uncut podcast on Instagram. And you know that's where you send your questions just say ask Guncut, but it's also where you send your ask gun Cut aftermaths.
It is also less than a week until We Love Love, the book that Britt and I both wrote is out, So if you haven't gotten yourself a pre order copy yet, jump onto Life Uncut Podcast. That's our website. You can find the link on there to get yourself a book. And the reason for that is because it may be sold out in some places before it even comes out.
Well that's what we hope. Yes, please cross anyway, guys, that is it from us, and you know the drill. Don't forget to tell your mum, te Dad, Tea Doug to your friends and share the love because we love love. Don't welcome BA Birday. We go BA