Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of the Life on Part I'm Brittany.
And I'm Laura, and this is our Thursday episode, which is our down and dirty little episode where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions.
And we have had a lot of dm slidings this week with the questions. We do have a couple of killer questions.
But you know what, guys, before we do get into answering your questions, if you have one for next week, you can slide into the DMS at Life un Cup podcast that there's something that we really want to share with you all, and we are I don't even know how to bring this conversation up or say it, because it's genuinely the most devastating news and it's something that we found out last Friday, and we weren't really sure
how to share it with you guys. We weren't really sure if we just had the conversation on social media or whether we brought it to the podcast and talked
about it here. And we have been speaking about it over the last couple of days, but we really wanted to for anybody who's not part of the social media community, for anyone who's not part of Facebook, to be able to also honor that conversation on the podcast as well, and that is we found out last Friday that Chanelle Bryant, who is an incredible woman, somebody who we interviewed last December.
Chanelle had triple negative breast cancer and she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and we spoke to her about her journey. We spoke to her about the importance of checking your breast and she was so incredible. She has been a huge member of the life onn cut community. She's been an active member in the Facebook group. So many of you know who she is and have been as invested in her story as what we have been.
And we received the news that she passed away last Friday in her sleep, surrounded by her family, and we just wanted to be able to share that with you all because we know, just like I said, how much she touched every single one of you as well. We did speak to Chanelle. The interview that we did do with her for anyone that hasn't listened to it yet but that would really like to. It was such a beautiful, powerful episode. But that was on the fourteenth of December,
and when we did speak to Chanel. Then she did say to us that if she could make it till Christmas, which obviously was only I guess two weeks away at that point, that she would just be beyond happy.
That's all she wanted to do was was make it till Christmas. She did make it past Christmas, and then her next goal was to make it to her daughter Vague's birthday, which she did. So Chanelle made it until the twenty first of January, and that is when she passed away. I guess if there's one thing we can take, it's that she got to make some last, really beautiful
memories with her family. So we just want to send all of our love to Chanelle's family, to her friends, to her children, to the community, to everybody that Chanel touched, because she was just such a ray of light. Just as a reminder, because it was Chanelle's message, it was what she was literally fighting for, was to make everyone a little bit more aware of their body and their breasts. So if you are listening right now, grab.
Your boobs and check them out, honestly, and this is because you know, Chanelle was only thirty seven years old. She has two children and She's left behind an incredible legacy. However, I think the big message here is that when you're young, you just don't think that these things could ever possibly happen to you. I wanted to leave this conversation with one thing that Chanelle said. We had a really beautiful conversation around what happiness meant to her, and she said,
happiness is loving and being loved. Lean in not a way, allow yourself to feel it, let it all wash over you, breathe, and surrender to it. Your experience of life in that moment will be more uncut, more pure and real than you've ever imagined possible. Ough, Honestly, our absolute hearts go out to Luke and to Smith and to Vogue and to every single one of you who have been touched
by Chanelle's story. Now, there is another woman that we want to talk about on the beginning of today's episode before we get into answering your questions, and that is somebody else who is equally as powerful and fierce, Grace Tame.
Oh, we need to talk about Grace Tame and what went down with her and Scottie Morrison at the Handover Awards of Australia of the year. So Grace, if you don't know, Grace was Australian of the Year last year, she did go to the ceremony on Tuesday night and that is the handover award for Australia of the Year. Now, Grace is a fierce advocate for sexual assault. She's a survivor of sexual assault. Please please go and do your
research on Grace. If you haven't come across her yet, if you haven't come across her, everyone, so I would be gobsmacked because this woman has just moved mountains and she has just made such noise in the year that she I mean, she really took the opportunity of Australian of the Year to do good and she did make noise, and she did race a voice, and she put a lot of things into motion and a lot of changes to be made. She has been so vocal in advocating
for victims of sexual assault and sexual abuse. And this year and last year has come at a time when Brittany Higgins and there's been the whole conversation around parliamentary and they're big swinging dicks and the insidious misogyny that has lived within our parliament and within government in Australia. But the reason there's so much talk on this, if you guys are wondering why we're even talking about it, is because the photos going around right now from her
meeting with Scott Morrison out the front in Canberra. It's actually quite funny to look at. So Grace isn't a fan of Scott Morrison. That has been noted throughout the year, and that's for good reasons. You know, she doesn't agree with a lot of things that he has said and done, and when you look into that a little bit more,
it's it's warranted. Let's put it that way. And we will get into that in another episode because it's there's so much to talk about in this But the reason these photos and videos are going viral if you haven't seen them, is because of the way Grace greeted Scott Morrison. Now there's one photo in particular where she is standing next to him. It is very cold, you can feel the ice, and she's giving him it looks like that
cartoon dog, you know, the side eyed dog. She's giving him the most brutal so you've ever seen, and it has gone viral. This photo, this video is anyone's talking about and it's taken over the world and I'm to be honest, I'm here for it.
I feel like everybody needs to enter twenty twenty two with the absolute fierce energy the Grace Tame entered meeting Scott Morrison. That this has come to the attention of media. It's also come to the attention of the Facebook group and it has been incredibly divisive.
I think it's interesting.
I saw some comments floating around in the Facebook group yesterday. The majority of people are in full support that Grace Tame shouldn't feel like she needs to be friendly to Scott Morrison just because he's the Prime Minister, especially when there's so many things that he's done during his term as Prime Minister that go against what she has been advocating for now.
On the flip side to that, there has.
Been people who think that the actions of her were petty or petulant or childish, and we really wanted to unpack where these thoughts come from and why is it that women are expected to behave in a certain way.
One of those people that are on the bandwagon of Grace immaturely, and I say immaturely because that is a quote from the article is journalist Peter then on Selen, who writes for The Australian. He also co hosts sometimes on the Project, which he did last night. Now. The headline for The Australian that Peter wrote says, Grace tame If you're disdain for the PM is so great, why go?
And the opening paragraph says, the footage of Grace Tamee meeting the Prime Minister at his residence in the nation's capital for a reception today was embarrassing for her. That is, she was ungracious, rude and childish, refusing to smile for the cameras, barely acknowledging his existence when standing next to him. The footage tells the story free of overstatement. He has literally called her rude and childish for refusing to smile.
That is it now. If you watch this, Grace shakes his hand, he says hello to her, She says hello back. There is nothing that was childish about this behavior. The problem that he has this whole article that he's written, is saying that she should show some respect for Scott Morrison and she should have sat there and smiled, which
essentially is a photo opportunity. The only problem is she didn't pretend to like somebody and enjoy a moment when she didn't actually like someone and enjoy the moment, and that is what she's been criticized for. I think it's pretty crazy that we've been conditioned in a lot of ways to think that women need to behave in a certain way. And I know that there's going to be people who listen to this who are like, oh God,
here we go. We are expected as women to be nice and to be polite and to be friendly, and we are constantly told, Hey, why don't you just smile.
In this instance. There has been so much that's happened in the past two years, especially in the last year with Britney Higgins, and directly that's been directly correlative to sexual assault and sexual violence against women. And this is what Grace's entire campaign as Australian of the Year has stood for. It would have been disingenuous of her to stand there and smile alongside Scott Morrison and pretend like
she was enjoying the moment. That would have gone against everything that she stood for on her own social media, in the conversations that she's had with her own community. And so I feel like it should actually be commended and has been by a lot of the female led media. It should be commended that she has been absolutely authentic and stood behind and alongside what her feelings are towards him and the government he represents.
Live on the project, Carrie Bigmore gave Peter a real dressing down. So Peter wrote the article that we're speaking about then he was on the project speaking about it now, he mentioned straight away the Grace acted childish, And this was Carrie's response in the article today, you spoke about how she acted as a child, you know, when she should have been able to act as a child when she was a child, only she was preyed upon by a man and lost parts of her childhood. Peter's response was, well,
then she shouldn't go. If she's not going to show him any respect and she's going to be rude, she shouldn't go, which, in response, starts a whole other conversation. Why should we be silenced, Why should we be made to not be able to express our real feelings in a situation. She's still Australian of the Year, she still deserves to go, and she shouldn't have to not go. She should be able to go and if she's in an uncomfortable situation, she doesn't have to smile.
I mean, I think there's a bigger question here around the fact that, like, just because somebody is in a position of power, does that mean that they're instantly entitled to respect Scott Morrison being the Donald Trump, well no, but like Scott Morrison being the Prime Minister, just because he's the Prime Minister, does that mean that somebody needs to respect him as a person if they don't believe in the policies and the way that he's behaved or
the things that he's implemented whilst he's been in government. And I think the interesting thing about this as well is is if we can cast her mind back to January twenty twenty when the bushfires happened and there was a live stream of Scott Morrison. This is after he
took a holiday whilst Australia was on fire. There is a live stream of him going and greeting with the fire brigade who were working and at the front line of the bushfires, and he reached out to shake the hand of one of the firefighters and one of the firefighters completely refused to shake his hand to the point where Scott Morrison grapp would and he continued to try and shake his hand, and.
My solfwod thing you've ever seen, the most fucking awkward thing you have ever seen.
No publication and nobody said anything negative about that firefighter. Nobody turned around and said how petulant or petty of him to not shake Scott Morrison's hand, and that they should treat Scott Morrison with respect. If anything, everybody was like commending the firefighter for making a very public statement around something that at the time everyone was angry about. Why is the opinion of mainstream media different when it comes to something like sexual assault.
The hypocrisy really in Parliament of the way that men and women are treated, or men and women are treated in the public eye is sickening. It does not take a very deep dive. It takes one Google search for you to have a look at the way that women are treated in Parliament.
There is one amazing photo as well, which we're going to put up in our social media for anybody who thinks it was shared in the Facebook group. But for anyone who thinks that maybe the way Grace behave is petulant and they want to draw a comparison here, you.
Don't have a leg to stand on.
There is an incredible photo of Scott Morrison can completely turning his back on Tanya Plibosec during her doing a speech and the absolute lack of respect in this photo is astounding. So I just want to put these up in our instagrams like a slide by slide for anybody who's sitting there going, oh, she shouldn't have done that.
And you guys know, Laura and I are not overly political people. We never speak about politics on this podcast. We never have And the only reason that we're discussing this today is because it really really rubbed us the wrong way. We obviously do have a platform and we do support women, and this was something that just didn't
sit right with us. And seen some of the comments, especially on the project last night, from people like Peter van on Selen, the article that he wrote, it just really really rubbed us the wrong way.
So we did want to talk about it. Well, I mean, we don't talk about politics, but we talk about misogyny. We talk about internalized misogyny, which is where a lot of the views are coming from, and we talk about
sexual assault and advocating for women. For anybody who has read the articles, the articles that have been written by men who were telling Grace Tame how she should or shouldn't behave, calling it childish or saying that it's undone the amazing work that she has done while she's been Australian of the Year really undermines who she is as a person and it really undermines what she has been through by telling her how she should or shouldn't behave.
Please, if you get a hot second, have a Google of what went down on the project, because it was absolutely annihilation, fucking take down fire and it was so great. But I do want it was a takedown between Carrie Bickmore and political reporter Amy Remikuz, who was a guest she had like zoomed into the project and Peter Van Onsellen. Now it was brilliant to watch. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a bit uncomfortable, but I can't stress enough how on these women's team that I was and I
was like, yes, like fucking get a girl. I was like, take him down. I do want to just wrap this conversation with this grab from political reporter Amy Remikus, who is also a survivor of sexual assault.
You were attempted to a police a woman who lost all agency as a child, where she was groomed and told how to behave, and she has since come out and made her entire adulthood about not behaving in the way that other people think that she should.
That she's going to be true to herself.
And because of the politics of civility, you wrote a column in the National masth heead slamming her for that. You said she shouldn't have gone.
She has every right to be there, She has every right to show her feelings, and if she doesn't want to be part of a politically staged photo op, she doesn't have to smile to make other people feel better and not hurt their.
Feelings anyway, Team, there is just such a bigger, deeper conversation to be had around this topic. It's not for a Thursday Ask guncut, but we just felt like we couldn't let this day go path without talking about what happened.
Absolutely, and we have been sitting on a conversation around the way women are portrayed in media and the way that the conversation around women has had when it comes to headlines when it comes to paparazzi photos.
So I feel like the time is almost calm.
But anyway, let's get into our ar ask uncut questions.
Okay, guys, A question number one? How does it work if you move in with your boyfriend and his friends, but then you break up in the middle of your lease? How do you split the rent if I were to move out? Do all housemates take on a little extra rent so that my boyfriend doesn't have to pay double? Or do I have to keep paying even if I move out? This is such a good question.
I wonder if she's wanting to break up with her boyfriend who she currently lives with, or she's just forward thinking and they're going to move in together and take on this like, you know, year long lease, and she's like, what the fuck do I do?
Well, it's almost like a hypothetical because she's like, how does it work if you move in with your boyfriend and his friends but then you break up in the middle. She hasn't said she's done it, but I think she has, or she's about to break up with him. Okay, it's not a gray area, and it is a gray area.
I think it's not a grey area in that if you're the one who wants to break your lease, you have to pay for all the breaking the lease stuff, right, But if they want to stay in the house, So if you say to your boyfriend, hey, I'm I don't want to be with you anymore, circumstances have changed, sayanas whatever it is, see later.
Ba wyoahala, see later, lover.
If you want to be the one to leave and you give him that notice and he chooses to stay there, then that's kind of on him to figure out how to do it. However, if you tell him that you need to leave and then there's the situation where they are not able to pay rent, then I think that you mostly have to contribute to the breaking of the lease fees. Like that's like the big one. The only thing that I think you do have to do is
you have to give them some notice. Like you can't just be like I'm leaving, I don't love you anymore and then stop paying rent.
No, you can say I'm leaving I don't love you, but you still have to pay rent for like three weeks. I think it's twenty one days. There is never a time I want to reiterate this. There's never a time or a situation where you have to stay in a relationship. There is always an out. If you don't want it doesn't matter because you signed it on a line on
a lease for twelve months, that doesn't matter. Do you morally have to do the right thing by a partner, Yes, and unless if it's an amical breakup, unless there's something horrific that has gone down. But if you've just decided you've fall down of love and the relationship's not right, which it sounds like is exactly what has happened with this girl, then yes, this is what I suggest you do. I suggest you break up with your partner. You say,
I just don't think it's working anymore. I'm not happy here, I'm not comfortable. I love that you're giving her the breakup tips as well. I am not just the rental tips. I suggest you say it it's not you, it's me. See him down. No, So you do the nice thing and always, if you can, always do it amicably, like I just can't stress that enough. If the situation allows for an amical breakup, tell him that you're not happy
and you're gonna leave. But I would also suggest making sure you've got somewhere to go before you do that, just in case shit hits the fan. You say, look, the normal term is twenty one days three weeks, so I'm gonna give you that much notice, and I'm gonna pay rent until then. Even if I'm not here. You can either move out if you can't afford it. You've got plenty of time to find somewhere else if he actually wants to move out, meaning that the two of
you are breaking the lease. The responsibility for the lease payment break is yours. You have started that, you have instigated that situation, so I would think that that is on you.
The only thing that's like not actually technically correct in that information is the twenty one days only applies if you're outside your lease terms. So if you're on a year lease, if you signed a year lease with someone contractually, you have to pay a year's worth of lease or you pay a fee, which is a breaking your lease fee. And I'm pretty sure if you're a real estate agent you can come at me if I get this wrong. But I've done this with the next boyfriend, so I
feel like it might still be correct. You have to pay all the advertising fees until they get the place relisted and they get it refilled, which hopefully you live in Sydney, it'll be filled in five days, and you pay breaking the lease fee. Then you pay for the advertising costs, and it might end up being like two months worth of rent or something, but it's an additional amount of money. What I can say, though, is is not up to the other housemates to throw in more
money to compensate for your leaving. Absolutely, I think it's not up to the housemates to pay for more money. But also you're not responsible for what they decide. If you say I'm leaving, I'm willing to pay for the breaking the lease, I'm willing to pay for the X amount of weeks up front, then it's on them. If the three of them that are left in the house can't afford the rent without you and they all have to move, then you pay the break the lease and
they all have to move. Yes, it's fucking annoying, and that it's very they might be really angry at you.
Whatever, Okay, you never gonna see hm again.
Yeah, it's totally not your responsibility, and especially if your partner wants to stay there, it's not your responsibility to continue to pay for the next, you know, a year and a half just because he wants to live in the house with his mates. Like, it's a really unfortunate situation. It is going to affect a lot of people. But there are definitely ways to manage a mitigator breakup. And I think especially when you're living with your partner's friends.
And on top of that what brit said, and I think it's like the most important thing is, like, never stay in a relationship that you're unhappy with just because you're worried about how you're going to figure out the financials, so you to figure out the way that it's going to work, Like it's really important to either put some savings away or to get yourself sorted before you make that decision, so that you're not feeling like you're completely destitute or you don't have anywhere to move to, or
you're trying to pay two rents.
Do you think we cover that? I feel like we did get out. Have you ever lived with an ex and his friends? No, I've never really lived in a group house. When I lived with my ex, I just lived with him and I bought a house together. We lived there another ex was just he and I overseas. Yeah, like, I've never actually lived in a group environment. I wouldn't like it for me personally. I don't want to be in these environments where there's so many people come in
and going all the time. I like my private place with my partner to be my private place.
My first boyfriend, who I was with for six years, we always lived in like group share houses with him, But then I had a very similar situation to this where we had left our group house. We'd moved in together, and we moved into a one bedroom with a tiny little like separate study. I guess it was we just signed the lease when three weeks after we signed the lease, he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore, so that I was left with the entire house and had to break the lease and everything.
And but that that goes against everything. We just said that she's you're responsibility, That's what I'm saying.
The responsibility was on me to try and figure it out because I was the one left in the house. He still paid and contributed to it, but not for an entire year. He paid and contributed to it for a short period of time, which gave me enough time to figure out my next move. But you can't expect someone to pay for an entire year if they're not living in the house.
Absolutely not. Okay, let's get into question number two. Okay, Question number two is a really funny one. We've never had a question like this before.
Hi. There.
I recently went inside a good friend's house after a day out rather than stay for a quick cuppa or a beverage before going home. I had to decline and make an excuse because her house smelled as though twenty elephants had been urinating throughout it for a very long time. Jesus Christ, I know. So we walked in. The house stunk. She said nothing. The last time I went there it did not smell at all. It was just pretty normal. The stench was gag worthy. My question is do I
say to my friend, what the fuck? Why does your house wreak of piss? And just be straight up? I don't want to go back inside there ever? Again, that is how bad it smelled. I just don't understand, so do I say something? I did notice that she had birds in a cage inside. I'm not even sure if they were there the last time I went there, but
maybe it's the birds. I'm absolutely repulsed. Can I tell my friend that her house absolutely stinks to the point that no one wants to come over, or do I just not go back and pretend it didn't happen.
Oh my god, it's absolutely the birds. It's one hundred percent of gotta be the birds. Yeah, your friend's not just pissing in the corner.
It's the birds. I think you can't tell her now. No, you had to tell her when you were there.
You had to when teller, I feel like it's when you walk into the house, You're like, whoa, you really need to change the paper in the bird's cage or whatever. I used to have a cat, and I like, if you didn't clean the kitty litter out frequently enough, it would stink. My friends would always tell me. They'd be like, you need to clean that kitty litter, and I was like, yeah, I do. I'm fucking lazy and I shouldn't have a cat.
I think, tell her. And the reason I say tell her is because your first line of this question was I recently went inside a good friend's house. If she's a good friend like Laura, if I walked inside your house and it's stunk of shit, of piers. I feel like you have walked inside my house and it's stunk of shit before, Like I would keep both in nappies. You don't have to be true, but I mean, I guess because we're good friends, i'd be like, whoa the fuck is that? Spell like saying die in here. I
think he can say that. Then I think he could walk over to the bird cage and be like, oh my gosh, girl, it's the birds. You need to change that paper. I think you just say that, but you don't have to say I'm never coming over to your house again. If it smells like this, maybe she's like really used to the smell because she lives in at twenty four seven, and she doesn't actually know that it's that bad.
That's so bad, though, imagine if you just lived in the stench of bird you ryan, and you didn't even know.
Well, evidently she's that's what she's doing. Maybe she had COVID and she lost her smell and taste. Maybe she doesn't know how bad it is.
With the numbers that are happening right now, it's very fucking possible. But also I think On top of this, if you've been to her house before and it doesn't normally smell like that, it's not as big a deal.
I think, don't rule out ever going there again.
Maybe she shun't. Yeah, like, go there again and see and if it is just as bad, be like, well, babe, something really smells in this house. I don't know if you can smell it. Let's figure out what it is and do it as though you're helping her out. But to me, it just sounds like she's, you know, a little bit lazy when it comes to cleaning up the birdcage.
Yeah, or maybe walk in and just be like, well, you need to open a window, get some fresh air in there, or just like send her an anonymous gift of like incense or a diffuser or something just like knock and run at the door.
Maybe the less passive aggressive ones. I mean, I just think like with all these sorts of things, things that are uncomfortable, usually it makes us more uncomfortable than it makes the other person. Like if you've got shit in your teeth, I would rather than someone tell me that
they've got stuff in my teeth. Anyone would any strangers, anyone would rather be told than to have someone stand there and stare at them and just like not tell them one hundred per The worst thing, you know, when you've been talking to somebody and you walk home, You walk in, look in the mirror and you're like, what the fuck, I've got something on my face, I've got burp in my face, I got something in my teeth.
Why how embarrassing. You would much rather someone said to you in the middle of a conversation or you've just got something there and you're like, oh, thanks, and then you continue the conversation, and that's not embarrassing. That is not awkward. It's more awkward to ignore the fact. Go home, and then you.
Realize sometimes like when people have things in their teeth though I just don't like I notice it and I clock it, but I like, I don't care about it, Like I don't care that they have something caught in their teeth, so I don't.
Tell them, so I forget.
And then they're like, dude, you've just been talking to me and I had this in my teeth, and I was like, yeah, I know. I just genuinely didn't care. Sorry, like I'm and I don't mean.
Like I don't care as in like, well, now I'm never gonna trust you.
I just mean, like it factors so far down on the things that I think is like a worry, like I noticed it, but like I was like, oh, it's fine.
It's just if I had a whole piece of kale hanging out of my front teeth, I would expect you to do I expect you don't. Okay.
But here's the other question, all right, And I think that this might be like a good comparison for this question. If your friend, your good friend had bad bo, would you tell them?
I mean, I haven't told you yet.
Usually I'm not that walks in here and I'm like, I have VEO, where's your jodorant?
I'm like, you know where it is? I was like, just gon't get but would you tell them? Like if you came to my house and you had bad BO? I think I would tell you. Yeah, And I think that's fine. Chances that I probably know, I'd probably like, yeah, I remember a run. I think it's different if it's a stranger.
I think there's some things when it comes to personal hygiene and whatnot, like it's not your responsibility to impart that knowledge on someone who you don't have a close connection with or friendship with. But if it's a friend, I don't think there should be the apprehension to say, like, oh, hey, Haun, you should put on some deodorant.
I would know. I wouldn't say it if it was once off. If like, if you just came in and you smell that day, I'd be like, really bad, It doesn't matter. I'd be actually had a tough day. I'll let us, I'll let her fly. But if it was actually a thing that was affecting your life and your personal hygiene, if every time I was around you you stunk and you didn't know, I would say something. I'd be like you, like, FYI you probably need to change
your genderant because you know that's also a thing. You know, like you get used to a type of Jyoda and then all of a sudden you feel like it doesn't work anymore and you've got to change brands. Oh you got to go from a roll onto a spray. Like it's always the natural ones that get you. You think that there work. I don't he need some maliminium in your skin. You need to clog that sit in a botox.
You're under arm let's get into the next question. Okay, question number three, this one, I feel like, Laura, you are going and coming home. It's going to be pretty easy to answer. Girls, How do I say I love you? I have been with my partner over a year now and we've never said I love you, And trust me, I do love him. I think he whispered it during sex ones, but with my with my poor hearing, I questioned it and I was like, what did you to say? But he didn't answer, does I love you during sex
count I can't even be sure it happened. I feel like we've waited so long to say it, and now it's just too awkward. I'm introverted, so I can't just blurt it out. Oh bless, it's fucking hard. I remember the first I ever told someone I love them. I was like, I love you? How told you?
I old you?
Think of my twenties. I remember when one of my boyfriends said I love you really. It was probably like five weeks in and I didn't love him. I remember with it. I remember, like I remember vividly, was standing out the front of my house. He was driving back to Sydney. Did you say it back? He said? All right, well I'll let you know when I get back. And I said, okay, drive safe and he said I love you and I said thank you. It's like you're on the Bachelor all over again. I was like thank you.
And then it was like I just wanted to sink into the ground and I was like, well, safe, drive and just like ran inside because I was put on the spot and I didn't feel it. But having said that, Jordan told me he loved me probably the same amount of time in probably only four or five weeks, and I reciprocated it because I was in a different place
and I felt it. I really feel for you to have been a year deep with your partner that you love and you feel like you can't say it, but I can guarantee you if you say it, he's gonna say it back. Like you were together for a year, you think he's already and you love him. For me, when I'm in love, I want to shout it from the rooftops and I want to tell my partner. I so she wants to shout it on a podcast, But
I would say it. Once I'm at that point and I'm saying I love you, I would say it twenty times a day, and I don't want it to lose meaning. But i'd be like, hey, just going for a walk, I'll be back, see and love you. Like I would just throw it, and at the start it's obviously way more meaningful. You have your moment, and I think for
you you're a year deep. Maybe next time after you have sex, if you don't want to blurt it out, which is what you've said, maybe when you're having your moment in bed or you're having a cuddle, you could just say something like there's something I wanted to tell you for a long time. He's going to know what it is. You can ease into the conversation. Do you think it should be a sex thing? Though? I think that makes it easn to be.
I feel like saying I love you for the first time during sex, like it's powerful one hundred percent. It's like it's so intimate and intense. But for an introvert, maybe it's too intense.
No, you don't do midpump but like pump up sex love you come in love you whilst you're staring in the eyes. But even like the staring in their eyes and the whispering of like I love you. No, it's the after where you're just in bed, hanging out and cuddling and you're having that moment the endorphins are high, like the love is high, the feelings are high, you're close, it's intimate. I think that's when you say it. I
think that's when you'd be more comfortable. You're not gonna be stuck in the dishwasher and be like, hey babe, pass me that play. Love you well? Do you have a better moment? One hundred percent? It's a better moment, do you Okay? Is it weird?
Just like if you're sitting on the couch having a cuddle or something, being more like, there's something I've been thinking about and I've wanted to say it to you for a long time, but I feel like we kind of missed the moment a little bit.
Well, see you just said literally word for what I said. But I think the better point to do it is when the endorphins are high and you're cuddling after sex than when you're on the lounge like that's what I think. I think that that for me is the moment where you're like, you do feel that connection, You've just had a really close, intimate moment, but it's not happening anymore.
You chill, everyone's relax. I just think it's a really nice vibe, and for an introvert, I feel like that's when it's going to be easier.
I don't know, I mean, Okay, you feel like we've not given you any advice on this. We take actually also take Bing's advice because I've not said I love you for the first time for a long time, and when I did say it to Matt, it was after you said it to me on The Bachelor, on the show. I think that sometimes we can get in our heads about saying I love you, and we can build it up to be a really frightening thing, and I think sometimes step away from what those words are. They're very meaningful,
they're very important. But if your feelings are already there, if you guys, have already made those commitments in all your actions and in all the other ways that you express that you love each other, I think that the more that you put it off and the more that you stress about it, the harder it's going to be. The first time you say it's going to be the most awkward and the most like exhilarating and then it's going to get easier and easier.
And he's a beautiful thing. If you feel it, say it. But it is like love is a beauty, it is such. It's the love is the best feeling in like the entire world. And I can't imagine what it's like for you to have felt that bursting from you for a year. Yeah, okay, and I feel like you can express it. Does she make eye contact at the time? I mean, you don't
have to if you're an introvert, and that's hard. The other thing you can do is write him a love note if you want, but give it to him probably when you're still there to talk about because he can read it. Maybe he can put it down on paper. He can read it, and he'll look up at you and he'll say something like, oh my gosh, really, and then it takes the stress away. But there are so many different ways.
Would you ever send it in a text message first and be like that, this is like never break up with someone, never tell them I love you. Would you send a text message first? Or ever be like, Hey, I've been thinking about this for a while and I've found it really hard to say it.
So I wanted to send it to you. I really love you. I mean technically, the first time Jordan and I had said it to each other was when I had told my really really good friend, my best friend, I had messaged him and said, he was like, how is everything going? And I messaged him and I said, I love him, like I'm in love with him. Jordan saw that text and that is what opened our conversation. He saw the text of me saying that I I was in love with him, and then that opened the conversation.
But technically he said it first. From that, I would not advise texting your partner of a year saying you love him for the first time. I think you guys are passed that. I think that it's a beautiful thing, and I think you're overthinking it now. Like Laura said, you've waited a year the anticipation and something gonna get worse. Do not wait another year, Like you need to pull that trigger totally.
And I think you'll be so surprised, like he'll say it back and you'll have a beautiful moment and then you say it all the time, and then you'll have sex again if you had just had sex, or maybe you'll have it again.
For the first time.
Who fucking knows, but it's gonna be great. I do empathize with this though, because I do know and understand how nerve wracking it is the first time you say it. But I think it's nerve racking because you're scared that they're not going to say it back.
That's where the nerves come from. The nerves come from in the early days when you're like, what if they're not there yet? But God, you know he's there, Like he is there for you so that you've got nothing to worry about all the trigger. But also tell us how that all went as well. Tell us if you did at the end of sex or if you did it on the lounge. We want to know who's worked better. Anyway, guys, that is it from us and ask gun Cut and we'll be back next week with us. So actually that's
a lie. We'll be back on Saturday with our radio show. I forgot we do that.
Oh, we come to you three times a week now, it's never ending. We're always here in your ears giving you the content.
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