ASK UNCUT - Talking about exes on a first date, boss affairs and playing it safe

have any rogue facial hairs? Do you, Brittany have any rogue facial hairs? I can, hands down say I have never had a rope. Shut up. I don't believe you for one second. I am unhari is person. Even my body hair, I don't have hair. I could literally shave my face. Really, I have never I barely even pluck my eyebrows. I've never waxed the lip. I've never done anything.

I've got some true Italian jeans in my family. I have this one rogue chin hair that always comes back and every soft and it's like every six weeks or so, Matt will be like, oh, my friend's back and then he'll pat it. When I was in labor. When I was in labor, I hadn't noticed that it had grown back.

And it's not what you want to be told when you're laying in a bed and you don't have tweezers on you, and you're trying to give birth and someone you have a baby poking out of your vagina, and someone says to you, hey, babe, your chin hair's back. Anyway that I hope that made some women feel better about themselves. My sister's got a wicked one on a chin. Sorry, Sy, it's just like this one little moled always grows a really long hair. I think it's one of those things

that every like so many. I would say ninety nine percent of women have a rogue facial hair that just grows, so no one ever talks about it. Statistic and I don't it. Yeah, Look, I've done my research. I want to destigmatize these things to make everyone feel inclusive and connected totally. Let's start with the questions. I want to tell you something funny actually that my friend wrote to me. She wrote into us as just a funny story that

had happened to her. Literally, she goes guys this just happened to be ten minutes ago, and of course I was going to tell you first. She has quite a big following and she's someone in the public and I won't name her, but she recently had a baby. This is what she wrote to me today. I'm now going to try and decipher who this is. And it wasn't me, guys, she goes, guys, this is almost real time. This literally

just happened. My partner is doing an online course and thought he'd spend this really rainy day finishing it off. I've just put bubb down for sleep, and I thought, you know what, it's been a while. I might spice things up. I might set his study a light. So I ran into the room, lifting up my shirt, completely

naked and shoved my boobs in his face. Here I was hitting him in the face with my bibs, and I thought it was hilarious until he told me his webcam was on and his teacher was watching the whole thing. But also, if you've just had a baby, you're more than likely, after a few smacks around, to start lactating as well. I think it's so funny, but also imagine if you were just going like come on, babe woom.

And then the Professor's like, excuse me, Oh, no, stuff gets so weird after you have a kid, It just gets weird. Do you know what Larlie did to me today? Oh? I couldn't. I don't even know where to start. Was a mania. So I was sitting there on the couch and she'd just been eating chocolate. So she went on asking me for more coconut rough chocolate and I was like, you're not having any more. You've had three pieces. And then she comes up with what I thought was chocolate

on her hand and goes yacky yaki. And at the same time I could smell human shit, and I was like, I don't think that's chocolate, but I think that's coconut roll would think that we're talking about the same thing. I grabbed her hand and I smelt it, and I was like, yes, you have just shoved your hand down the back of your pants into your own pooh and you think that's yucky. I was like, my child is a genius. She knows this is yucky. Look at all the words she's learned. You know what this is how

they work it out. Yeah, I know that the pooh is yucky until they've put it on their hand, they've smelt it, they realize it doesn't feel good. This is how they're learning. Call it education. It's organic education. I told you she's a genius. She put two and two together. I think I think genius is a stretch at this point. It's a stretch, but we'll give her. She's a learning anyway. Guys, thank you to every single person who's written in a

question for today's episode. We love these episodes. It is when we answer all the tricky stuff that is happening in your lives. Some of it's not that tricky, some of it's pretty entertaining, and you know what, we hash it out. We've got no experience. We don't know what we're talking about, but we've got profit, we've got unbridled enthusiasm and you can't beat that. And we have a

lot of life experience as well. So Brittany, who has chosen all the questions for today because she's the only one who has some free time, please give me question number one. Question number one is the reason I chose this. I love that I'm giving you a background like it's like an essay. I'm presenting, Guys, the reason I chose this topic today, But seriously, the reason they chose this top today was it is something I think is very relevant.

It's something I have had this exact conversation quite recently, not quite to this extent. I think a lot of people have this question, so I'm going to get into it. A girl reading to us and said, Hey, guys, I recently got sent this message. The message reads, Hey, Francesca, Honestly, you are beautiful, funny, and I really would have liked to see this workout, but I don't think I'm up to it anymore. I guess there's just too many red

flags for me. You've never been a girl that commits to one guy, and I don't think anyone wants to hear that you have a roster on the side, or that you're literally the opposite of a fuck boy. You're a fuck girl. I love that you're honest and you say that whatever is on your mind. But I think if you actually want to have a special relationship and have someone special in your life, they probably shouldn't hear so much about your past experiences. And I've heard too

many about yours. I am really sorry, and I do hope you find what you're looking for a bit. Unfortunately it's not me. I love that He's like, I love that you're honest, but actually stop being so fucking honest, because I don't like it. What the backhanded compliment that was? Yeah, in a nutshell, she's met this guy, and she's been really open about her past experiences, and they are the

fact that she doesn't really commit easily. She's hooked up with heaps of people, she's slept with heaps of people, she has people on the side, she has fuck boys, she's got friends with benefits, and she's been open about that with him, and he has turned around and said in all honesty, and I don't think he's been rude, but I don't think he'd said it in a very good way, and I don't think he needed to go

into that detail. But essentially he's saying, look, I don't want to know so much about your past, and now I feel like I know it. I don't want to go there. She finishes it by saying, look, I do think this is a great conversation, and I have been having this conversation with my friends. Essentially, should you be sharing your past with someone new that you're dating, and if so, how much should you be sharing? So I

actually think that this is a really great question. Firstly, I just want to say it is relevant how many people you've slept with, Like, you know, no one can slut shame you, or no one should slut shame you. You can sleep with as many people as you want. It doesn't define you, It does not impact you as a person, It doesn't impact anyone else. It doesn't impact anybody else. Should you divulge all the information about yourself in a first date and your history? No, I don't

think so. And I think that you know, you need to kind of be aware about how much of your past you share because you haven't spent enough time with someone for them to understand who you are as a person now and the things that you like and whether you have a great connection. And I think that there's so many other things that you can focus on before telling this person, Hey, I've got this many people who

I've slept with. You know, I'm not really looking for anything serious right now, because you just don't know what it could grow into. So I think be very very careful about jumping straight into talking about all of your exes and all of your past relationships, and it's not because you should be ashamed of them, and it's not because you should feel guilt for having them, but it's just because that doesn't need to be the first conversation

you're having on a first, second, third, fourth date. And where Brick came and we started talking about this question and we started unpacking it a little bit, because, like you know, we usually we usually try and get on the same page before we start recording this podcast. I just usually want to know each other where we sit, what side of the fence we sit on. So I know a lot about Matt's past relationships and he knows

loads about my past relationships. Because I think it's really important to talk about your past for your current partner to get a really good understanding of who you are as a person. I think that there is context there, and I think that that's an important part of what makes you you. However, I have no idea how many people Matt's had sex with. I don't fucking care. I don't want to know. I don't want to know because

I don't think it would make me jealous. But it's just irrelevant, and I think that it's such an unnecessary topic to have because it can cause some hurt, it can cause some jealousy, and it can also make someone feel a little bit insignificant if they're a bit immature. And I say this because when I was really a lot younger than I am now, a lot more insecure than what I am now, I didn't have a very big sexual experience. I mean, I think I only slept

with a handful of people at the time. And I met this guy who I really really liked, and I did end up being with him for a long time, but he told me that he'd slept with over one hundred people and I'd only slept with two people at the time. So hearing that he had slept with one hundred people and I had only slept with two people made me think that I was so insignificant, And of course that's my shit to deal with, that's my baggage.

But it was just a conversation that I wish we had never had, and I wish I had never asked, because it made me feel a way that I didn't need to feel, and you know what, like he hadn't done anything wrong, and that's all on me, but still I felt that way and those feelings were still valid. I couldn't just will them away. So I think just be careful early. When you meet someone and you like them, you don't need to tell them about every single thing

that's going in your life. You don't owe them that yet either, I think the same thing, and I think that everyone's entitled to talk about their past, and everyone's entitled to know your partner's past to an extent. But I really do think and I've learned this from experience. I have dealt with it in my current relationship with Jordan now, But I do think it is the way you deliver it, and it's the level of detail you go into. The fact of the matter is you don't

need to go into detail. And maybe instead of telling your current partner that, like I slept with him, slept with him, hooked up with him, here's my friends with benefits, I don't think you need to go into that detail. I think it can be like, oh, yeah, like we had something in the past. It could be literally the language that you choose to use because whether we like it or not, whether it's right or not. And I've had a really hard time getting my head around this.

Most men in my life that I've spoken to and I'm talking. I asked friends, I asked relatives, male relatives. I asked Jordan, my boyfriend, I asked his friends. I've asked a lot of people. I even just asked Matt. Most men have the same response, and it's that they don't want to know your past in that depth. They don't care about it. Okay, cool. They want to know that you had a relationship of two years. That's where

it ends. They want no more detail, and they don't want you to speak in depth about it because they want to feel like they're in the moment now, they're living with you. You're what they're thinking about. They don't want to think about the fact that you've slept with all these other people. It's just like a mind game

to them. It's fun, isn't it. Because I think, and this is very gender like norms that we're kind of going into, and we're being a little bit stereotypical here, But I do think that as women, we like to talk like, we like to talk about our feelings. What

are you talk about? I like to tell people everything that's happening in my life, and I know that in the past, I've definitely made the mistake of talking too much and saying too much, and then getting myself into a situation where the person who is receiving the information I'm giving them, I e. The guy that I like, he doesn't want to hear it. But the fact of the matter is that you may get someone off side before they get to actually know the whole picture of

who you are as a person. And the other thing as well is is what you can run the risk of is to this guy, like this text message that's come in, you have said I have a roster, or I have a you know, I have my side men that I want to be with, or like, you know, I have my Tuesday guy or my Wednesday guy. I'm good for you, girl, mate, I used to have a

Wednesday guy too. I'm not going to tell someone who I go on a date with that I've got a Wednesday night guy, because especially if the date's on a Wednesday night, well, no, if the date's on a Tuesday, I'm not like, hey, so tomorrow night, I got Wednesday night guy. That's why I didn't you go home from

the day. The reason why I think you don't have those sorts of conversations is because you don't know if you actually really like this person or not, and then you're giving the impression that you're not after anything serious. And even though I had a Wednesday night guy, I still wanted a serious relationship. So I think you shoot yourself in the foot and you give an impression that you're not after anything more than friends with benefits or

to other fuck buddy. So I really do think there is a level of how much of you you need to share before it's totally oversharing. Well, this is where my problem came in, right with Jordan. Your girl likes to talk high spirit. You girl's got a history. You girl likes to talk. You're like So I dated Asso Shipath. I once said it this guy who had a wife and you know, we had a dog and we were gonna get married. And then he gas, what the fuck out of me? And the thing is for somebody like me?

And I say somebody like me, I refer to the fact that I've been single for nine years, ten years, and I've dated a lot of people. I've been onto dating reality TV shows. The things for me, I have a history, and when I want to talk about my past, it often whether it's traveling to certain places. Usually there are stories that are linked in with someone I might have been seen at the time, and so I've got

a big history of experiences with other people. And I would never go into detail about people that I had been with or anything like that, but I would mention people. I'd be like, oh, you know, I ended up seeing this guy in Nargentina and then we went to this place, and I would just throw into conversation like that, and eventually Jordan had to say to me, look like, I I think your history is great. Everything's great, but I don't really want to know. I don't want to hear

about people you've been with. And I was like, oh, but I haven't really gone into detail. He's like, I know, and it doesn't matter. He's like, I just I don't want to think about that part of your life that you had all these experiences with other people. I just

want to make them with you. And I had to really stop and register that because I loved to talk like I wanted to tell him everything, and I had to realize that, Okay, maybe it is going to affect him, and whether I think it's right or not, I couldn't understand it at the start, I was like, but I want to tell you about this because it was a big part of my life. I had to come to the point where he said, I understand you want to tell me, but I need you to understand that I

don't want to hear about it. And we had to meet at this point where I had to say, Okay, I can't. I can't do that because making him uncomfortable. And I think that's what we need to realize, is

that everyone's going to be different. But if you go into a relationship or the first couple of dates and all you're doing is talking about all these other people that you've been with, immediately, this person's going to lose interest or the only thing that they're going to have an interest in is like maybe they're going onto your roster. I'm not saying that to be mean or to be harsh. I'm saying you would think the same thing if the role was reversed. Just as an example too, as like

a role reversal. I was on a date, like a long time ago obviously with this person, and I've been speaking to him before we went on the date. He's leading into my Instagram. We were chatting for a little bit we went on this that had an amazing day, Like went into the harbor, went to a really nice restaurant, went to opera bar, went to another bar, and it was great. The band was there, the chats were there, it was really smooth. I was like, I like this guy. Now.

I don't know why he did what he did next, but we started to talk about like the last person we're with in terms of a relationship, and then he told me I've slept with three hundred people. That's what he said. He goes, oh, I've slept with about three three hundred and twenty people or something. He's like, I

don't really count. And I was gobsmacked. And the way he said it to me was as if this was going to guarantee him getting laid with me, because it was almost like he was like, this is how experienced I am, This is how good I am. In all honesty, it was the exact moment he said it, everything my body switched and I was like, I want nothing to

do with him. It just completely And I'm not saying that's right, but I'm trying to explain that whether we want it or not, we can't control the way we feel and that is that ignited something in me that was like, oh cool, that's great for you. But now I just feel like I'm in another notch on your belt and I lost interest. I think because it makes you feel like you're not special and other notch. Yeah, and when you're with someone and you really like them,

you want them to make you feel special. You don't want them to tell you that you're one of X amount of people. You know. You want to feel like you're an individual and they see you as an individual. So I think, you know, regardless of how many people you've had in sexual partners, that's totally beside the point. And like we've said all throughout this, like you could have three hundred partners, you could have a thousand, you could have two. It's fucking irrelevant, to be perfectly honest.

But if you want to have a serious relationship with someone and you do think that you're interested in them, then do try and make them feel special and do prioritize their feelings, and maybe there might be a little bit in them that feels put off by hearing about your exes, because we all have that little bit of jealousy that's inside us obviously, Like I said, I spoke to Matt knows a lot about my history and my relationships.

I only started telling him about my history and my relationships once we were in a committed relationship, and he asked because he wanted more context about who I am as a person. Also, when you knew you had him, Yeah, I one you in a reality TV show. I'm going to tell you all my fucking crazy stories because I think we have wrapped that question and answered it, probably answered it too much, but anyway, keep some of this, keep some of your past to yourself, all right. Question

number two? All right, this is controversial. Okay, guys, I got quite the doozy for you, and I'm in a sticky situation. So it's kind of a long story. But essentially, my boss has been having a secret affair with one of my coworkers, a dirty dog, dirty dog. Almost everyone in the office knows about it because the coworker that

he's sleeping with has actually told us. It's very obviously true as well, and it's starting to become a problem in the workplace because it's interfering with our ability to do our jobs. Not only is this an inappropriate work situation, but also what a fucking dog cheating on his partner for a year. It's hard because I really like him as a boss, but I get really annoyed when I see them together acting flirty and making jokes about their affair,

thinking that the rest of us don't understand. I don't feel as though I am in a senior enough position to say anything, but no one else is saying anything despite us all wanting it to be over. What the heck should I do? Should I tell a board member or should I leave an anonymous letter to my boss telling him that everyone knows and to sort his shit out and keep it out of the workplace. I'm really confused about what to do because the whole situation is wrong that I don't feel or know if it's my

place to say anything. Help. Okay, I think this is very controversial because what are they doing when you say flirty? What is it that's flirty about their behavior? And what are they doing that is stopping you from being able to do your job? Like, if it is just that they're joke here and they have banter, you're going to have a really hard time saying that whatever it is that's going on is a problem, because just because you morally see this as being an issue, which of course

it is. Like, well, I mean, he's cheating, and it's fucked right, But him being a dickhead and him cheating on his wife is not your personal problem. Just because it's morally wrong doesn't mean that you should take on somebody else's bad shit that they're doing and take ownership

from it and get yourself involved. That said, if it's obviously happening in the workplace, if those actions are impeding your ability to do your job, if he is preferencing her or prioritizing her, just say that you guys are in the same position and she's being given preferential treatment by him. If any of that sort of stuff's happening,

then you absolutely have a reason to say something. And in that case, you should take this to HR and you should have a conversation because you know it's already such inappropriate workplace conduct. But if they're not physically doing anything or not necessarily I don't mean physical is in life they have to be fucking in a boardroom, Like that's not what I'm saying, but like, if they're not doing anything that actually kind of crosses a line of being flirtatious in a way that it stops you from

doing your job. Then I think you're going to have a really hard time with this because if it's just the moral implications that she's told you, and it hurts your soul that he is cheating on his wife, and you want to do like the vigil anti right thing, which I think most of us would really struggle with, and most of us would want to be like, you know what, No, screw you, You should suffer for this.

You need to stop doing what you're doing and do the right thing, because what you're doing is wrong, and that's really noble that that's where your head's at. I think it's going to come back and bite you and the ass being an employee, that it will bite him in the ass because they are both going to deny, deny, deny, and say that nothing is happening, and then what do

you do for me? Here the issue is, and I agree with Laura, if this is just your moral compass that literally is going haywire and doesn't know what to do, you need to reconsider whether it's worth disrupting and causing a problem between everyone in the office and him and his wife. Because people are assholes. People are going to be assholes around you. You're not responsible for somebody else's

asshole behavior. But for me, the reason I think this is actually quite a simple answer is, and I'm very passionate about this, you say that you're not comfortable in your workplace and then it's causing problems and you're unable to do your job. And for me, that is pretty clear cut. If no one should ever, under any circumstances,

feel uncomfortable in their place of work. Now we don't know what is happening to make you feel that way, but I when everyone's listening to know that if you're uncomfortable, you one hundred percent can take that further because this should be a safe place. And I mean with everything happening in the world right now and everything happening in Parliament, I think that I can't drive this point home enough. Now,

how you go about that? You can either go to HR or obviously and you can have the discussion and you can leave it to them, or because you did make a point where you said, look, I quite like him as a boss normally and you don't know what to do. I do think that you could leave an anonymous note if you really wanted to. That's not passive aggressive, that's not nasty, that's not malicious. I think you could

even know saying exactly what you just said to us. Hey, look, we all know what's going on, and we don't feel comfortable with it. If you could leave your extracurricular activities outside of the workplace, that would be the best thing for everyone. I personally think that's okay. If you're torn between whether to go and throw this person under the bus or to just say, hey, give him a nudge in the right direction, that would be my advice in what to do. But ultimately only you're going to know

what to do. I just don't think you need to go to work every single day if you're uncomfortable in that environment. I would one hundred percent agree with everything you said, and I guess the like where I came from in my perspective of this is if they are bringing this to work, then you need to say something.

But if they are leaving their extracurricular activities at the door, and they are exactly that extracurricular and you only know about this because your friend told you, and it's the moral side of it that you're grappling with, then I think that's when you don't want to get involved. But if they are physically doing stuff at work, if there is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable from their behavior that is impeding your ability to do your job, that

is sexual misconduct. That is absolutely freaking and appropriate. And we're definitely not sitting here advocating saying and I'm not I swear that to say that you should just cop that on the chin or look for another job. My perspective at the start is more so if nothing is happening at work and it's on you and how you feel he should be behaving because of something that you've

been told, then that's where the area is gray. I think, Well, the other thing that I want to point out too, and it's interesting that it's the first thing that we think of. It takes two to ten go there are two people in this There is your boss, the male, and there is your friend who is a colleague and he's the female. Why do you just have to go straight to the boss and leave a note. Why can't you talk to your friend and call her out, and not even call her out, but just go hey, Like,

I don't agree with what you're doing. I don't think you should be doing it, you know, morally because the guy is married. But you can't bring this work anymore, Like you guys need to do that outside, Like I don't think. Of course, the boss has a responsibility and I'm not taking that off him, but I'm just saying there are different ways you can go about this if you don't want to go and throw yourself under a

bus to your boss. Well, I guess the thing is right, is that there is such a gross imbalance of power, right if you're going to be hooking up with your boss, Like the issue doesn't necessarily lie with the employee. The issue well, I mean, like, look, it's not good from any side of the coin. It's a shitty, shitty coin. But the imbalance of power comes when somebody who is the boss has the power in the workplace. They are abusing that and really there should be boundaries in place.

I mean a lot of workplaces have the rule that you can't hook up with people from work at all. No, not my work, maybe not at your workplace. Hotels are incesstrius, so that's the thing, right, So maybe if your workplace has those rules in place where you can't date other employees, or you have to have a conversation with HR before you start dating people from within the company, then that's a really clear cut conversation for you to be able

to have with HR. If that lines a little bit blurred, or if it's a smaller company and they don't have those distinctions, then then that does make that conversation a lot harder. But I do think that even an anonymous letter could come back to them figuring out that it's from you. I even think that you're able to sit down if you really want to and you have the capacity to, you could sit down with your boss and say this is making me feel uncomfortable, and you could

have a face to face with him. That doesn't need to be accusatory. That it could be I've heard these things. I don't feel comfortable in this situation. But that would take a lot of courage to do that. I think don't do that without HR. Absolutely you need to do that with other people around as well. Absolutely, Yeah, don't have any of these conversations one on one if you're

actually going to go in and I guess not. I don't want to say accue someone, but just be very very aware that it's always great to have a paper trail, and it's always great to have someone else in the room one hundred percent I stand by that from experience. And next and last question, I am currently stuck on what to do. I have been broken up from my

ex boyfriend for just over a year. Recently, we decided, after much thought and individual growth, that we wanted to work towards being together again sometime in the coming months. So we are in inverted commas dating again, but not in a serious relationship as of yet. We're just trying

to feel it out. However, recently, I've gotten to know one of my guy friends well through regular chats, and I feel as though there is a mutual connection to the point where it feels like I would like to possibly explore more with him, though I'm not one hundred percent sure this friend is feeling or thinking the same thing, even though he appears to be interested. I'm stuck because I feel as though I'm already into deep with my ex because we're trying again and we're in a good place.

But the fact is I do have these new feelings too. What do I do Do I explore the feelings with a friend or do I continue to build a relationship with my ex where it's just stable and I'm in a good place because we've known each other for eight years. Oh okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, fuck your friend.

You still have your moral compass absolutely right, like you're going to be tempted, But the fact that you've already gone through this breakup with your partner and now you're trying again, and yet you're still tempted by other people and you use the word comfortable hashtags like me think you're just doing this because it's safe, it's reliable, it's comfortable, and you know exactly what you're going to get from your ear long term partner, whereas the new person it's scary,

it's uncharted territory, it's not safe, it's not a guarantee, and you could be risking at all. It's mysterious even I know, but that's kind of makes it fun and naughty. But I do think that there is a lot to say about having a relationship that is safe and stable

and comfortable. Like I'm not going to just rather that off and say that those things are important, because they are really really important, and after eight years, what you have built with your partner is something that is very sign However, if you do have this longing to try something new, to be with someone new, if those feelings are overpowering what you have with your partner, especially when you've already gone through this really tumultuous time, then I

think you really need to assess whether or not you're just playing it safe because you don't want to be alone, because you're hatching your bets right now and going, well, if I take this, it's a risk and I could have no one, but at the moment I've got someone.

Make sure that you're making that decision, because that's someone is the person who you absolutely want to spend your life with, who you want to you know, potentially have kids with if that's what you want in your life, and you can see yourselves together in twenty thirty forty years time, still inspiring each other and still actually loving each other and being engaged in this relationship. Otherwise, fuck

your friend. I'm going to start by saying, we already know what you say, Brittany, Yeah, and then I'll explain it. I'm going to say it's your time to shine. Fuck your friend, not necessarily, not be so crude, hook up with your friend. Explore that for sure. And now I'm going to tell you why. I am a big believer that you can definitely get back with an X and it can be beautiful and you're forever and you're penguin.

I think that sometimes we do need a break in long term relationships to assess where we're at and what we want. And I think you can come full circle and you could very well get back with your partner and it's your everything. The fact is, right now, you've been broken up with him for a year. There's a reason you broke up. We don't know what it is, but there's a reason you've been broken up with him for a year. You still have feelings for him, which

is absolutely normal. You have stated that you know it is a stable relationship, and like Lauris said, I want to reiterate, we want stable, but we want stable when it's our penguin. We don't want stable because we're scared of what the other option is. The fact is you're not with him yet. You're still trying to work it out and decide if you want to get back with him. But there is someone here that, whether you like it or not, you have developed feelings for someone else and

you want to explore that. I could almost guarantee. But if you don't explore that and you get back with your partner, that little seed is going to be in the back of your head for a long time and you're going to wonder what if. And I've done that before. We've had a lot of people write in that say ten years later, they're still thinking about a what if from when they were twenty like, this is quite common.

You're doing nothing wrong if you explore it, and it sounds like you've got nothing to lose if you explore it with this new person and it doesn't work out, well, I disagree. I think it does sound like she has a lot to lose. I think it sounds like she has her now current. Even though they're not back to being in a serious relationship, they've made commitments to work towards that. And I think once you've made those verbal commitments, that means you're not having sex with other people or

you're not seeing other people. So I am going to say the one thing you shouldn't do is monkey branch or not be transparent. I think if you're going to pursue your friend and you're going to see what that is, I actually think you do owe it to your long term partner to say, hey, I want to hold the brakes on this, because if you've made a commitment that you're not seeing anybody else, don't break that commitment. Oh, if you've made a commitment, yeah I'm not don't cheat

on him. Fuck No. I don't advocate that ever, of course, but she said in invertise commas, we're seeing each other again, it's not serious. You need only you're gonna know if you're cheating. If you're doing this, he's gonna think you're cheating. You don't do it, and you know where that line lies. You know, you don't need us to tell you what that is and you don't need If it's a gray area,

then it's probably wrong, you know, absolutely. But if you know that you're both in a point where you're like just feeling it out, you're doing your own thing, you're independent, you don't talk every day. If you know that if you hooked up with this new person that it's going to be okay, I would say explore it. Even if you just kiss the guy, Like even if you just get that just to see if there is a spark or a feeling, you might kiss him and be like, oh my god, you want my back. That was the

sloppiest thing I've ever experienced. And you are in the friend zone, Buddy, Burdon. I kiss my friend once and it was the worst thing ever did. It was like kiss my brother. I was like, it was like my brother, get off me. It was discussing. But yeah, like that's a whole other story I did. It was actually my brother's really good friend. Sorry bro, but that's irrelevant. So I think, like, only you're gonna know if you're doing

the wrong thing by hooking up with him. But I'm a big advocate, like we have a whole lifetime to be with someone, if you're unsure right now, you need to figure it out. If kissing this guy or looking out with this guy is going to help you figure it out. I think that that's what you should do, and that's just personal as long as you're not crossing boundaries and hurting anyone's feelings and doing the wrong thing.

And the big red flag to me, the big red flag that like I can't overcome on this and why I'm like, look, you should go and pursue your friend, is that after spending eight years with someone, having a year apart, and then coming back together, you should be damn certain that's the person you want to be with. This shouldn't be ambiguous to you. You should be like, you know what, we're getting back together because I absolutely know that you're the person I want to be with

and I want to spend my life. And the fact that you're still not sure makes me think that you're playing this safe because you don't want to be alone. That's that was harsh, all right, half club here at Life Uncut anyway, guys, that's it for another episode of Life Uncut. Ask gun Cut, please keep your questions coming in. You know you can slide on into our DMS like a slippery little sucker. Just put ask guncut at the

top and give us absolutely any question about anything. It could be about finance, It could be about your chin hairs, like patient hair, like be about how to spell halipino, about you know what. Personally, I prefer it wasn't that. But if that's your biggest problem of your life. Actually, if that's the biggest problem in your life, you're doing okay. I don't need to hear that. Or how to spell champagne.

I always get it wrong to say champagny. I feel like no one knows how to spell champagne, but we all know how to drink it, like February for Wedner's Day, Yeah, like I have. Every time I write those, I say it in my head. I'm like Wednes's Day, February are we everyone does? Every single person does, and when they do it, every single person goes fuck. Does everyone else know how to spell these words? And I don't know why? Oh yacht, that's a hard one to spell. No wish

to share. I can't say whish to she sauce without shy shere. Wow, this really took a turn anyway, Guys, if you haven't subscribed to the podcast yet after listening to us Rambler those the last little bit off, you probably won't, but if you want to hit subscribe, because what that means that each week we will end up in your library, at the top of your library, and you will not have to wait at all. We don't have to go looking for us. Yeah, we'll just be there,

ready and waiting for you. Please tell your mum to your dad, tell your dog to your friends, and share love because we love love.