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This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm producer Keisha filling in for brit We just had a discussion because Keysh tried to introduce herself as just Keisha and I was like, no, you have to be producer Keisha in case people are thrown into turmoil and confused and don't know who this new voice is on the podcast.
True, true, But I did in defense of myself, I was like, that's not my actual People have started calling me that in real life, like at the live show that happened produce a key shot and I was like, hell, like it's your Like your second name is Keysha and your first name is producer. Yeah, like it's my character.
You know? Do you know what? I know that you think that maybe that's offensive, but like think of it offensive.
I just think it's a little odd.
Sure, you could think of it as though it's an accolade, like doctors go around and say I'm doctor so and so. Once you've got that at the front of your name, you use it into the day you die.
You know. One time I was dating a doctor and I got us ticks all right to settle down. I got his plane tickets, like for a holiday, and I was really annoyed about the fact that.
He had the better Like, is it a suffix? The thing a prefix?
What's the thing that goes at the start? You know? Missed a missus? Doctor? The thing you tick? And I was like, you know, stuff him having the better one. I don't want to be miss one's doctor. Aren't you still miss? What is a miss? Are you missed when you're in a relationship but you're not married. Are you a miss then? I'm not sure?
Or you are you a miss if you don't want people to know if you're a missus or a miss?
Do you mean a live giggle?
Yeah?
Answer. A title used before the surname or full name of any woman, regardless of her marital status. So it's neutral, so you can pick so it's an alternative to missus or miss see.
I say, if you don't want anyone to know if you are married or aren't married, you become a miss.
Well, that day I was a captain, and then I found out that that is illegal, so I do not recommend doing it. But for that plane ride, I was Captain Kisha bed and you know what, I really I really liked it.
So if you lie about your status, like if you call yourself a doctor and you're on a plane, that's illegal. Oh it would make sense because obviously if there's an emergency or somebody carts it in the picked captain because I was like the plane with the planes falling down and they're like, Captain, I would have told him it was for boats, Slane, don't worry, I'm Canada of a boat.
But as it turns out, yeah, no, it's illegal. However, did enjoy the experience so well?
When producer comes up as an option for you to select the next time you're on a flight, that is, you know, the box that you can stay in.
I'm ready to get out of the miss box.
Okay. The reason why Keysh is feeling on today's episode is because Britt is currently away at her sister Sherry's wedding. Sherry's having two weddings. The first one was on Tuesday, that was the Indian wedding, and then today is her not Indian wedding. I don't know how else you'd described that. Today is like, is the big wedding.
I think they call it a white wedding, and that is not cultural. It's actually like you know that song, It's a nice day for a white wedding.
I actually think.
That's what it's called it. If it's not, I'm gonna cut this out.
Because you wear a white dress, whereas on Tuesday she was wearing a sari and we saw the beautiful Sarry photos.
I've never seen them look more beautiful. Like, I don't know enough about Indian weddings. I'm so intrigued to hear from britt when she gets back about the cultural practices they do for the wedding, because I know it's really different. Obviously they look so different, like there's so much color and it just looks like so much fun.
What I would like to know is where is Jay though, because I've seen a lot of photos on social media, I've seen photos of Brittain a sari. I've seen photos of Sherry and a Sari, but I haven't yet seen the husband.
Britt's like, you know what, I'm not gonna get married anytime soon, so this is my wedding too. It's man in Cherry's wedding. But they looked so insanely stunning.
Before we get into answering all your deep dark and you're burning queesquestions, there was something that we wanted to talk about.
Now.
You might remember a couple of weeks ago on an Ask Guncut episode, somebody had written in about dirty talk. Now their new partner had started using some dirty talk and they weren't sure if they should be or shouldn't be offended, and it went something like this, you are a chubby little wore. And let me tell you a lot of people who heard that episode were very offended. But the big question was this, was the person who wrote in offended because they were called chubby? Or were
they offended because they were called ahow? And that's what we wanted to seek out. So we put up some socials. We asked the question, what is it that you enjoy being called in the bedroom?
Like?
Where can that line be drawn?
And some of The.
Responses we got were truly fucking amazing.
They were, and I really regretted not putting Jason Drulo talk Dirty to Me as the backing song of this Instagram story.
What a wasted opportunity. The just would have got things going.
However, I did bring these responses to you the this morning, and I would like to read some out to you and you can tell me where the line is.
No, no, okay, this is what happened. Keisha prepped. She was like, here are all the responses from all of our amazing listeners. We asked, what dirty talk do you like hearing in the bedroom? And let me tell you. You provided and they are dirty little bitch you dirty little whores. And I know that you're gonna like me calling you that because you told me this is the thing.
We read through some of them. The way that we would normally do these segments is that we would read out to you some of the craziest things.
Some of them are so.
Smushy that I'm worried that our more like PGG rated listeners would turn this episode off because they don't like the dirty talk.
Yeah, but I reckon you'd be fun like I reckon the ones who wrote this it would be really good to go get a drink with.
Okay, But also they're like, they're very normal vein. They're things like and I'm gonna just I'm going to brush through a couple of them very quickly, just to give you a taste of what some people are enjoying in the bedroom.
Really enjoying your body language. Right now, I just feel like you're mildly uncomfortable, and I don't know if it's cause i'm in your employee.
Come on my cock? Was that too much? Do we need a hr? Is that where we're at? Okay? Cool wine and I'll take two steps back. Sorry, Do I need to say it more sexy? Will you come on my cock?
Well? You had a nice ASMR voice.
Thank you, thank you so much. Look, No, like I said, I don't want to read out the more like smuttier ones, the more dirty of the dirtier talk. And that's just because I understand that there'll be some people who don't want to hear that. But one thing that we did find really interesting that we wanted to unpack was that there was one type of dirty talk that kept on coming in and like it's not particularly dirty but it's a common theme that we received hundreds and hundreds of times from you all.
Yeah, you're like being called good girls. As it turns out.
Okay, see the one that I always think and like, it's just a bit of an expansion on good girl. It's good little girl. And I don't know why that one always got me off daddy issues. Yeah, and that's exactly what it is. I don't like to talk about the podcast, but.
Yet good Girl came in like hundreds and hundreds of times, and this thing came up in the responses that I was really intrigued by.
Because I hadn't heard of it before. It's called a.
Praise kink, now, a praise kink with someone who thrives to be praised during intimacy.
Don't we all like compliments all the time. Anyway, though, like I'm not surprising, it goes a little.
Bit further than that. So it kind of explained how it was a little bit more of a sexual turn on rather than just like a oh that feels nice, like your hair looks good. You know, it's not like that. Examples are things like and I want you to look me deeply. I say this slow even you look.
So good, baby, you feel so good. This is really inappropriate. Good good, Yeah, good girl.
You like that? Huh? You like that, don't you. However, I've got some questions for you to determine whether you have a praisekink or not, or whether you think you might. Do you have a sexual submissive, dominant or otherwise kink based response to receiving praise, which I think is a pretty long winded and like professional way to say, do you have sexual arousal when you're being told like praise?
I feel like so many people would have this though, like you know the fact that they've done this research into like what questions you need to ask yourself For me, I think that this is probably the most common one, like being told like you're a good little girl or you're a good girl. I don't know why we like enjoy the submissive part of that or we enjoy like having that positive affirmation, but there's something about that that
is very fucking sexy. Yeah, and I agree, tell me what you really think.
I'm thinking of sex with people that wasn't even loving sex, but when it's happened, like yeah, yeah, nipples.
Are hard, like let's go, Okay, my other question, too, is before you get down the list of the criteria to know whether you have a praise kink or not, what is your one dirty talk? Like, what's the big thing that if someone was gonna say it to you, it would mean O town a.
I think, like, yeah, along the good girl lines would definitely. I think being implemented you look so hot or along those lines that would definitely get me going.
But I think, oh god, this is so good.
I think I'm more into the question answer style of like do you like that? And then I get to tell them how much I like that.
I feel like we're really taking this relationship to a new place.
I'm really getting red patches on my chest.
You should see it, Like as Keisha's speaking literally from her nipples up, She's just gone red popping.
Through my top. I love this.
I feel like it's a bonding experience. This is close. There's a shame BRIT's not here.
I have a one question to ask you. When you think back on your hottest sex scenes, do the complimentary things your partner said to you stand out as one of your favorite parts.
Do you know I feel for me as much as I like it and enjoy it it's dependent on the person that I'm with. Like, I quite enjoy a bit of I mean, I don't mind a praise, can I don't mind a bit of dirty talk. But I also think it has to be with someone who I've had a bit more of a long term relationship with, rather than it being a one night stand, or rather than it being something that's a fling. I feel like I need to be in safe territory in order to enjoy it.
So for me, it's not just something I enjoy across the board.
And I think that makes complete sense, especially if you're talking about more like potentially smuttier, dirtier dirty talk. Right, You're probably not gonna have that with a one night stand as much as you'd have with someone that like, you love and respect, and you know that they do respect you, So that's why it's more okay for them to call you certain things, whereas someone that you don't know you might not feel.
That way about. Well exactly because like if somebody who you know respects you calls you a whole, you're like, oh, they didn't mean that. But if it's someone who's a one night stand and they're like, you're a whole you're like, you might actually think that of me? And I don't know if I don't know what we're role playing right now, or if.
This is real, to rethink my behavior, what would be like? What do you I mean? Oh, I'm personal? What do you like?
Good little girl? That's it. I'm their eye a bit. Yeah, well no there's more, but like, no, we're not sharing that. Yeah no, no, no, that's enough. Anyway, let's get into answering all your deep dark and you're burning questions. I will just.
Quickly add that one more thing. Is that equal to the amount of good girl responses we got? I actually think that there were almost as many I don't like it responses. That was very interesting to me. There were people who were just like, I don't like dirty talk are all? I hate it when people do that, And so that's kind of the flip side of the coin.
I guess, well, do you know why? Because I think unless you're someone who's really confident and comfortable with dor't it Like not everybody is comfortable with verbalizing, Like we love talking. We talk so much, it's no surprise that we would enjoy it. But for some people who were maybe slightly more introverted. Having to verbalize how they're feeling or what that sensation is or how much they like something just takes it into awkward or intimidating territory rather
than it being something that they find is expressive. So I can completely understand why there's people who when someone's like, yeah, you like that, they're like, yes, I suppose five styles and uber I wasn't ntil you asked me, you know, like it's like for some people, it's fucking awkward. Get it? And I get that there's both sides of the spectrum.
Like we can sit here and be like, yes, dirty talk's amazing, and here are all the different ways that people enjoy it, but they're equally a people who do not enjoy it at all, and they just want to like show their enthusiasm through other means. Do you reckon you could give.
Dirty talk like because we're talking mostly about receiving it here, which no, I'm completely comfortable. If I don't know if I'm that comfortable giving it, I.
Don't know what I would say, like, I mean, apart from like you're so hard. That feels so good, I don't think that I am very much.
A regular on that that feels really good.
That you feel so good, you feel so hard. That's literally that's the end of it. Because I think think for me as well. Then I get awkward. I'm like, how can I be creative with this? I don't know. If you're a girl and you enjoy giving dirty talk, I'd love to know those responses as well.
I think some people misunderstood the brief because we actually dig it. A couple of responses and a lot of you like calling people dirty, as it turns out, are you like calling Matt daddy?
No? No, even if you.
Say it softly and slowly, no, because he actually is a daddy, So for me, that's weird.
He's got two kids, he is a daddy. He's not my daddy, but he's their daddy, and I don't want to think of them when we're having sex. Also, they have destroyed my vagina enough that I don't want to be even thinking about them remotely whilst we're having sex.
You and nobody's daddy. You're mine.
All right, Let's seriously get into these questions. Question number one, Hi, Oh, actually, do you know what I'm just going to preface this. These questions are all fucking saucy today, ladies, I need help. I caught some pawn on my partner's phone. Accidental find. He was watching me use his phone, no spying needed. I'm very mad about it. The backstory is is that I've caught him watching porn before and wanking, and it doesn't sit well with me. He has disrespected my wishes
and feelings as he has done it again. He thinks I'm being over the top and apologized, but how do I know that he won't do it again? Basically, she doesn't want him to watch porn and wake. I feel like we've taken two steps back in the relationship. Bound bump boum.
I have something to say to her that I don't. I don't think she's gonna like. I don't think you can control someone like that. I think your behavior is really controlling. Oh unleash Keisha.
Yeah, he's produced a Keisha giving you the four one one?
Well, it's because of the four one one?
Is that what it's called?
Or is that pot that's four twenty ah fuck for twenty blazer. It's been a while, Homer talk. The reason that I think it's a bit of a controlling behavior is because I mean Obviously there are elements to this.
If the person that you're with is watching porn so much to the length that you know they're not having sex with you, or that it's interfering with your sex life, then yes, I understand that's a problem and you're gonna need to talk about that, But if it's just like the occasional having a look at porn and masturbating, like he's entitled to do that, totally, I don't see a problem.
I don't know. I think it's kinite strange when so many people get so hung up on porn because they think it's this like really debautuous thing where it's really wrong that they don't want their partners watching it. But it's just kind of like a level of self expression in sexuality, I guess.
I mean, there's a few layers to It's o that you don't like it, you know, that's fine. I think it's okay for you personally not to like something right like porn. If you are against it, that is okay. And I don't think that we can say that everybody should love porn, because it's just not the case. Not everybody will. The part about this I think is a bit problematic is like if your partner is watching something that's like, you know, consensually made porn. It's not porn
that's problematic. It's not porn that's like violent or in any way confrontational. I guess, because, like you know, I think that there is some porn that can be quite confronting to watch, and then maybe that would make you feel insecure because you're like, well, is that what he wants to do in real life? Like how does this play out? Where is the line between fantasy and fiction and all that sort of stuff. So I think that there is that part of it to consider and unpack
for yourself. But I don't think that we can impose our beliefs and what we want for ourselves on our partners. Like if your partner wants to watch porn and he wants to masturbate, you cannot say you can't do this. All you can do is say I don't feel comfortable with this, like I don't like it when you do that.
I don't like it when you watch porn. And if they say, well, I'm going to do it anyway, then it's up to you whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who does that or doesn't do that, because ultimately, I would say that the vast majority of people do watch porn and do masturbate. And I also think you need to kind of like separate the two. Do you have a problem with your partner masturbating without
you there? Like is that part of this? Because if that is a problem for you, then I think that that's a much bigger thing for you to unpack. Like, your partner has full agency over his own body. He's allowed to masturbate whenever the fuck he wants to. He doesn't need to ask for permission to pleasure himself. You don't need to be there every time he does it. It's not a reflection of you not doing a good job. It's not a reflection that he doesn't love you. Sometimes you just need a white case.
I actually think that that's a massive part of it. Is like that, it's not a reflection that they don't love you. So reassure yourself with that. Him watching porn doesn't mean that he doesn't find you sexy. It doesn't mean that he doesn't find your sex life great, that he doesn't care about you and love you and want to continue having sex with you. It's not like it takes away from that.
I think the other part of this as well is is that if you tell your partner that they can't do something right, like if you say you can't watch porn and you can't masturbate, and you make that such an issue in the relationship like that, there's an ultimatum that surrounds it. It doesn't mean that they're going to stop doing it. They're just going to continue to do
it behind your back. And if they think that you are overreacting about it, or it's not a space where they can have a conversation with you about it, they will hide that from you. Not because they want to appease you or because they agree with you, but because they're trying to avoid the drama.
They're trying to avoid the shame that you're going to make them feel for doing something that I think a lot like most people watch porn totally, and especially most guys.
But I mean, I think that there's going to be some people who listen to this who don't agree with us, and that's okay. There's going to be some people who listen to this who do not want their partners to watch porn, who don't want their partners to masturbate and actually know.
It's not allowed in some religions as well. So if that's a facet of like the religious situation that the two of you have agreed to, then my advice in that situation would be very different, because if that's something in your belief system, then that brings in a whole other level of Okay, we've agreed to go buy these rules and you're not following it.
Yeah, And I think that that's such an important point to make. But I think if it just comes down to controlling your partner because of your own insecurities around it, then that's quite an unfair expectation to set in the relationship. And all that that's going to do is create an ultimatum where either they're going to do it behind your back or you have to leave because they're not actually doing anything wrong by watching a bit of porn that is, like,
you know, correctly made porn and masturbating. There's so many rules in life like let someone fucking masturbate, just let him let him have a wink, also gives you a note off fuck win Wind. Anyway, Question number two. I just wants to be telling she's a good girl. You're doing a good job. You're a good little girl.
Question number two, So I have been diagnosed with breast cancer at thirty two fun times. Firstly, so sad. I'm so sorry, really sorry that you're having to go through that. My question is online dating. It's tough already, but being baald makes it a whole new ball game. I'm wondering if I need to tell my matches that I'm bald and going through chemo. I've tested it on one guy and told him I'm going through breast cancer, but left
out the bald part. He was lovely about it. But now I've noticed he's making these sly comments like how's the sexy blonde going today? Or hey blondie. I just responded, but I'm thinking these comments are a sly way to find out if I have hair and they don't. But I have a human hair wig that looks natural. I don't know if I should be warning people before meeting them. Am I false advertising?
Oh? This is so shit. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. No, you're not false advertising. You can wear a wig and you can do whatever the fuck you want to. You don't owe anybody anything, and I think, you know, go and date. Dating can be casual and there's no commitment there, and if it's you know, you're in a period of your life where you feel self conscious about the fact that you have lost your hair
because of chemo. You don't have to have that conversation with anyone until a point where maybe you are going to become sexual with them or things are progressing, and you're like, well, the situation is probably gonna rise where they're going to see me without hair, and then they can make a decision of what they want to do. And if they choose that they don't want to be with you because at this point in time, for a short period of time, you're going to have no hair,
then they're a fucking pretty useless person. I would say, you.
Know, I actually asked my housemate, who is a straight man, this question last night, because you know, he used to use apps. He's in a relationship now, but I was like, how would you have felt about this scenario? And he said, I think that anyone who would react badly to that, you know, being told, oh, hey, by the way, I'm going through chemo, blah blah blah. There might be a couple of different things about how our first dates go.
You know, for example, you might not be able to go walking in the sunshine on a big hike because your skin gets really sensitive when you're on chemo, like little things like that. And he said, anyone that would respond badly to that is firstly a piece of shit.
And he was like, it might be a really good way for you to weed out guys that aren't worth your fucking time anyway. And that's exactly what this is going to do, because ultimately there will be people who may find the situation that you're in at the moment, like your health, which is obviously going to be a huge part of your life for the next little bit, it's going to be a huge focus for you. They
may find that too overwhelming. That's okay. There's going to be people who don't want to opt into, you know, supporting someone through their cancer journey at the beginning of a relationship, but that also is a very very clear
indication of who is worthy of your time. I think the big question with this is is this guy who you have said to you know, you've told him that that's where you're at in your life and in your health, and he's super supportive of it, and he still wants to date and that is a great indication that he's a good person at heart. But I guess it comes down to this question around hair and how much of your identity is defined, because as women, that's such a
big thing. Like so much of our identity as women is defined by the fact that we have long or beautiful hair. Like think about, for like, how many people who when they've actually washed their hair and then blow dried it in a day, people will say, oh my god, you look amazing. That we use our hair as part of our esthetic identity as a female, that's.
Seen as quite like a sexual part femininity. So I can understand why you have a lot of like your identity wrapped up in this. I don't think that you have to tell them, though, I completely think that that is up to you whether you feel comfortable telling them
or not. The only thing I would think is that if your wig hair does not match your photos, as in, if it's a really different color or if it's a super different style, I think tell them what your hair now looks like so that they know which one you are when you turn up to the bar or cafe that you go and meet.
At Yeah, I agree with that, but also I think you know, if you are dating someone for a little while and you're getting to know them, you're building that sort of trust and rapport with them, there will come a time where you want to tell them that you don't have hair. Like, there's going to come a time where you're gonna want to have that conversation because you're probably not going to want to be in a situation where you're having sex and your wig falls off like
that will be more uncomfortable. I would suggest having the convo outside of the bedroom, you know, not when things are getting heated, and it doesn't have to be this big, long, deep and like, you know, you don't have to bear your soul to them. At the fact that you've gone through this period of your life. You can say, you know, yeah, like I mean, you might not know this, but this is a week I've lost a lot of hair because of chemo. It'll grow back. It's not a big deal.
And I think that the way that you describe it and how you portray it is going to be how other people receive it as well. And the thing is, if it is a really big deal and it is something that you're really struggling with, then it's also okay to be honest about that and explain that to them. And I think that, you know, going back to what we said at the very beginning of this question, it will very quickly draw the line in the sand as to who is worth your investment. We all know that
dating is hard. It is a really challenging to find people who you click with, who are respectful, who treat you the way you want to be treated, who value you for who you are. And I think that this is just going to fast track that process for you.
And so to summarize, no, you are absolutely not false advertising whatsoever.
I also hate that fucking sentiment when people are like, oh, you've won so much makeup, so you're false advertising, or you've done this, so you're false advertising. It's like, I would hope for everybody listening to this that your esthetic, like the way that you look, is the least important
quality of who you are as a person. I would hope that all the other things that make up who you are are better and more amazing than just the way you look, because like, I want that to be the most boring part of who I am.
Also, you gave me some great advice a while ago that I very much took on board. Your dating profile photos, make them your version of like a seven. Don't make them your ten photos, because then surprise and alike exactly when they meet you in person, they're like, oh, you're even better. You're better than I thought you were going to be, and then it just sets you up for a great date.
What's almost the opposite, isn't it. I feel like people set up their dating profiles and they always put their absolute ten out of ten out of ten photos on there. Then you live with this fear that people are not going to think you're as hot in real life as what you are on your photos because you've bagged them. Because if you're a profile, But then when you get there,
you've got to really put on your A game. So I always think, like, don't be your best on an online dating app, Be like just just just a notch down from your best.
Lower the bar for yourself.
Yeah, lower your own bar a tiny bit, and then you will exceed expectations. And you could rock up wearing a potato sack and they'll be like, fuck, you look good.
I think Valenciaga was selling that for like fifteen hundred dollars a bag dress. You look fabulous.
You have well and truly outdone yourself. Okay, I have one another one, and I have a lot of feelings about this. So my husband asks for blowjobs way too much, I mean daily, and I'm all for giving blowjobs. Well, you're a better woman than I am, and I quite like doing it, to be honest, once again, a better woman than I am, but I like doing it when I fucking want to. The man will bargain for them. Picture an incoming text message at ten am when you're
in a meeting at work. I'll give you a back massage tonight if you give me a blowjob, that's all well and good. I'm expected to commit to it at ten am in the morning, and I might not be in the mood by the end of the day, but he will remind me that I promised a blowjob. I have told him before to stop doing it because it makes it feel like a chore, and I'm not committing to sucking his dick several hours in advance. I love
the man. He's a very good husband, but he's also very sensitive and his love language is absolutely sex help how do I draw the line gently without causing this sensitive sexual beast to feel unloved.
Oh, sister, I feel for you because there is nothing that makes you like a sham. Wow. Might as well come in and dry you up. Based off of the thought of someone being like you told me six hours ago that you'd give me a blow shop tonight, I'd.
Be like, fuck. Oh No, one wants to be badgered to do anything, especially not sex like like you said to me, you would give me a blowjob, so you have to do it. Okay great. I also said I was going to clean out the car this Saturday, and I might not do that either.
I said I was going to go to the gym this morning and I slept in.
Okay totally, And I really like that She said here that she tried to tell him that it makes it feel like a chore, because that's exactly what he's doing. He's making it a job for you.
Yes, within our team, I am very much the.
Blow job queen. Keisha is the blowjob queen.
That sounds so fucking wanky, I have expressed within the comfort of our little office between you and brit Now, apparently with the rest of Australia and other parts of the world. I like doing that.
What is but the reason sham well sleep in the carp I like giving blowjobs, but only because.
It makes me feel really like powerful, and I love doing that as like an active service to them.
This is the active service that I like.
It's not because they've asked me to do it that completely changes the dynamic. Yeah, you were going to get one beforehand, but now that you've been like you told me you would, I'd be like, well, now I don't.
Want to do it even more Well, because when you say I don't want to do it now, it's because you're reclaiming the power. So I think that this is a big point. I know you've already said to him that it makes it feel like a chore. But I think the other part of the conversation of this is that I think for a lot of people, when you give a blowjob, part of it is feeling powerful. Part of it is feeling like you're in control. You're in the driver's seat, like you know you're able to provide
that pleasure. But you're also doing it because it's something that you're voluntarily wanting to do. You know, give it, yeah, and you want to give a gift willingly.
I want to wrap that present and tie the bow whichever way I want.
To do it, absolutely, And the thing is is that when he badges you for a blowjob, when he asks for them all the time or he's texting about them, it takes the power away from you. It no longer is you doing something because you have onus and you have agency and you have the choice to do it. You're now doing it because you feel forced into it, and it totally changes the whole dynamic of the reason why you wanted to do it in the first place.
So I think it's really important to have the conversation around one how much you like doing it, but how much you dislike being told because him telling you that you need to do it and him badgering you for it makes it feel almost degrading in a sense as well.
And we always talk about a shit sandwich. So you're going to go in with I really like giving you blowjobs then exactly what Laura said of the However, this can make me feel like it just takes away the fun of it. When you come to me, Yeah, it makes me feel a bit ick when you do that.
So I would really love it if you would, just like, let it be a gift that I like to give you, Like, let that be a choice of mine, because I really enjoy doing it, but I just don't like doing it when you make me feel pressured to.
And then the next follow up of this is reward good behavior. So when he doesn't ask for it, give them to him. And when he does ask for it and demands them and then says, you're a top right that you're not going to undoor it, so now I
have to you don't give him it. Yes, And I think that that needs to become like part and parcel of this is like if he's gonna badge you to a point where you just do it in submission, and you just do it because like you just want him to stop, Like you have to stop doing that because he's going to continue to do that as well, which is super disrespectful.
I think, Yeah, it's Pavlovian conditioning. Get their girlfriend, It's what Pavlovian conditioning. It's an actual psychological view. Might be getting a bit deep from that. Have you heard about that thing where they have the bell, they ring the bell and the dog gets given a stake right and then they end up teaching the dog that anytime they hear the bell, the dog starts salivating.
Because he thinks he's gonna get a stay.
It's all about the reward system. Yeah, so it's about the reward system exactly like what you just said. If you reward the bad behavior giving him a blowjob when he actually pesters you for it, he's got that's his reward process of like, he's going to know that that works, so he's going to keep doing that. So you need to cut that shit off.
We're literally treating this man like he's a dog, but like right now he's behaving like one, so he's a psychological experiment. We're treating this man like he's a psychological experiment. Just to make this very clear, we don't. We're not calling your husband a dog. I'm sure he's amazing. I'm sure he's wonderful in many other ways, just not in his badgroom for sex anyway, guys, that is literally from us. We have been dropping some bonus episodes. You might have
seen them. We've been dropping all of the live show chats into the feed from our Sydney Live show, which was last week. We've already put up chantal Otten and Janfran and coming up tomorrow we have two more which is matto'kine and also m Carey the Girl who Fell from the Sky. And can I just say, if you haven't heard of Matto Kine before, you haven't listened to
any of his chats. The accidentally unfiltered story at the start of this episode that's going to drop tomorrow is possibly the funniest thing I have ever fucking heard in my entire life. And that's a big call. It is a big, big, big call. But I was on the floor dying.
This makes you really excited because I haven't heard it because I was backstage with the people behind the stage getting like the mics and stuff for em ready to go on after Matt, So I haven't heard it yet, So I'm really excited to listen through.
Have you ever tried to go down on yourself just to put you what? Have you ever tried to get your head between your own legs? No, except for in that yoga pose, you know, the candlestick one where you never tried when you were like fourteen or something, being like how close can I get you?
Did?
Well, I'm guessing it's just a guy thing, no, but matter kind did and it's really fucking great. Oh I can't wait for that.
I also love the m Carrey. Like you said, we've spoken to her on the podcast before, we don't just want to kind of go over the same things, and you guys spoke about some really different aspects of her story and her life, and I did hear that part and it was fucking phenomenal. So I'm really excited for you guys who weren't able to go to the live show or to stream it to be able to hear it.
So that is all coming up tomorrow, and that is it from us, guys. If you've loved the episode, you can jump on leave a review for producer Keishak here she is filling in for Brittany Hock.
These only positive ones.
My ego is, like, we all know she's got a praise king, and you know what today, Tell your mom, tell you dad, tell you don't tell your friends, and share the love because we are loved.