Lifehun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on de rug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask Gun Cut, our down and dirty little episode where.
We answer you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions.
Now.
I hate to come in angry. Okay, so we're not answering questions straight away.
No, because I want to talk about something else first. Over the weekend, Sas Australia announced their new castle.
It is great. Everyone loves SAS well.
Most people love it, they say, well, most people love parts of Sas like myself. There are parts I enjoy. There are parts I don't want to watch. The farting, the wanting to kill each other that I don't like that. I thought you just said the farting and I was like, I hate that, No, I hate I think Haney badgers the fart a lot apparently, so I hate that part.
And the list has come out and it's pretty cool. You know if there are some Olympians on there.
We've got Peter Bowl, we have Mackinachem, Stephanie Rice. We've got some amazing athletes. Then we've got the likes of Tim Robarts who was The Bachelor, has twenty five abs and then he went on to be an actor. We've got some AFL people commentators. We have the Tie Cave rescue hero Dr Craig Chalon, which is fucking great, Like what an incredible human like highlight, yes, Craig, like yes.
My problem lies with the people that are only known for being either the most controversial athlete of all time, like Anthony Mundine, and people that are literally only known for drug smuggling, like literally the only reason anyone in the whole world knows that is for drug smuggling cocaine in another country, like Cassie Sainsbury, I mean cocaine Cassie for anyone who doesn't know who we're talking about, Cocaine Cassie,
which is crazy. We've even given her a cute nickname, What a nickname, co Cassie.
The other one as well that has really sparked some controversy in this list is Craig McLachlin. Now, Craig McLachlin was an actor, but he's also probably more famously known for being up for sexual assault charges. Now they were acquitted, but I think it's very important to reiterate that just because an assault charge or any charge is acquitted doesn't mean that the person is innocent.
Well, yeah, so Craig was actually charged with assault and indecent assault over complaints from four different females that he was working with on a theater production at the time.
Now it's funny that.
You say you only really know him from that reason, like everyone has heard the name, but I don't know anything he's done acting wise, But I do know that he was up for these assault charges and magistrate did acquit that, but they also said that we recognize that you did this, but what happened at that time was there was a change in law, and the change in law that occurred meant he could not charged with what he had done.
I did actually see an article Christy wheel and Brown, who was the woman who was up against Craig McLachlin in these charges. She took to Twitter to show how enormously frustrated she is. That's someone and not even I mean, frustrated doesn't even describe it. I can't imagine but that somebody who she had accused of indecent assault has then been welcomed back into the spotlight. But it's like the problem with SAS is that it offers this redemption arc to people.
It allows people who.
Are the criminal or the perpetrator to be seen in the light of the victim because they get to humanize themselves. They get to sit there and cry and say how hard the experience was for them. But it doesn't allow the people who are at the receiving end of that incident to do the same.
My personal response from that situation was anger. Right when I saw that he was on the show, I was angry, and I hadn't even read about Christine her quote. Yet when I read what she said, I was furious for her and on behalf of every person that has been in that situation.
This is what she said.
How do we feel about someone who was charged on multiple sexual assault charges being put back on TV and being referred to as simply a controversial figure. I also saw a post saying he was the winner of that case. But if you bother to read the judgment, the judge who heard the evidence believed that it happened. I am
so fucking sick of this shit. And amen, Christie, like, I cannot imagine being in her position, knowing that this person assaulted me, got off because he got lucky, assaulted multiple other women.
And what do we do.
We put him on a TV show that is going to help paint him in a better light and put him back into the media spotlight for good reasons only.
Do you know, though, I understand why says do it? Yeah makes us angry, And here we are talking about it, But I understand why they've chosen these characters.
FU can pick some better characters.
But the reason why they've done it is because of the unbelievable pr that it turns out, like, well, here we are talking about sas the season hasn't even started filming yet and we're already talking about it.
Yeah. But I'm all for a redemption arc, and I'm all for giving people second chances if far out, I give people like one hundred and twenty two chances. But I do think there are certain categories that do not belong on TV. You deserve a redemption arc. Privately, go and do the work yourself.
Yeah, go to charity, speak to it. Yeah, be a.
Better person totally, but in your own time. Don't get paid to do it. These people get paid a good amount of money and we are saying what you've done wasn't that bad. Like, he's sexually assaulted people women and he's been called controversial for it. It is so far beyond that.
So I do.
I do hope he's a better person, and I do hope he has changed, and I hope he's doing the work. But I don't think there is not one part of me on here that is okay with that casting.
And that's just one of these controversial figures. Yeah, and I think on that, you know.
So, Craig macclachlin has come out in the past in media and talked about how incredibly hard that period of life was for him. He's talked about suicidal ideation because of it. He's talked about the impact it had on his family. And my only issue, I shouldn't say my only issue, but one of the big issues with it is I guess it gives an opportunity to frame yourself as the victim when you're the one who has had the bad behavior, When you're the one who is not
the victim in that instance. I think that therefore it's trying to really changed the narrative and that's the problem. The other issue is is this is a seven pm primetime spot. You know, anybody can watch this, and then it comes and begs the question of who are the people that we are putting up on a pedestal and what are we emulating and saying, well, this is a celebrity, and how does that impact sort of a younger generation
who's watching it. When you see people like Anthony Mundine who made comments back in twenty eighteen which were so problematic around his views on queer people. This is what Anthony Mundine had to say, if we were to live in a society just like Aboriginal culture, that homosexuality is forbidden and you do it and there are consequences like capital punishment or death, you think you were going to do it, or think twice about doing it. That's the
only way to deter the problem. He also then went on to say that we should hang the suckers and made a link between pedophilia and the queer community. It's so disgusting that that is something that can be said only in twenty eighteen, and then we're going to replatform these people. It's like almost as though, well enough times
past people will forget. They won't forget enough, but they'll forget enough so that we can put them back on TV and create all the pr and the press that we need around this show.
Yeah, and in just a few other controversial comments that Anthony Mundine has made, this one was about terrorism about nine to eleven, and this back in two thousand and one. They call it an act of terrorism, but if you can understand religion in our way of life, it's not about terrorism. It's about fighting for God's law and America has brought it upon themselves. He's also like called out women, like he called out Kathy Freeman for being a sellout.
He made claims that men are better leaders than women.
Like.
He's just problematic in a lot of levels.
It's not like it's just one thing. We've put him back on. And then we have Cassie Sainsbury Cocaine. Cassie the drug smuggler. She smuggled five point eight kilograms of cocaine out of Columbia. They were sealed in headphones. Good luck to a collabor very heavy headphones, and do you know what, Do I think that Cassie can have a redemption store and be a better person? I absolutely do. And do I think people make mistakes? I absolutely do. And I'm okay that we're humans people. Who knows the
situation that Cassie. I don't know Cassie, but who knows the situation she was in at the time, what was going through her head, who she was hanging around all of these things. My problems not I mean, yes, of course I have a problem that she drug smuggled, but I get that she's probably done the work and she will never do that again, and she served her time.
But my problems that the show puts these people on out of everyone you could put on in Australia that is out there doing the work, doing incredible things, doing inspirational things like we've got the tie Rescuer, things like this that we could be doing, but we're not. We are going out of our way. It's not like Cassie was very famous an actress or doing all these cool things and then she made a mistake and we're giving that celebrity an arc of redemption.
We're not doing that. The only reason she's known is.
For drug smuggling. So we've plucked her out. We said, yes, you are the one we want to put on this show. Pay you to do it, like, give you money and give you a platform. And I just wonder what that is telling young impressional people who are the people that are watching this show. What is that tell you that it's okay to do whatever you want, because look where you end up.
Do you think, though, that it's a reflection of how we as viewers like that we are so because we're quite desensitized I reality TV.
It gets crazier every year.
We see it with mass we see it with the cheating scandals, like things have to be pushed further and further and further.
To keep the audience engaged.
Do you think we as the audience also play a part in this that we are suckers for controversy.
We love the drama.
We don't want We think we want the feel good, but then when we get the feel good, the feel good is boring to us. It's not enough of a cliffhanger. I guess I wonder whether SAS would have as much impact, whether people would talk about it in the way that they do if it was only people who were goodhearted, people who have not made mistakes, who were just olympians who are trying to put their body to the test. And it didn't have this sort of like almost a seedy undercurrent to it.
But I think you can have controversy on there. For sure.
I'm not saying that I don't want to watch rainbows, flowers and unicorns, but there are certain categories for me that we do not celebrate. That is domestic viol sexual assault, and homophobia. I don't know if I'm in a league of my own saying that this, And I mean, guys, you've announced this list off the back of World Pride. I do not get it. I think it is the
worst casting I have seen. I cannot imagine how these four women feel knowing that someone that's sexually assaulted them is now on a TV show becoming famous, and he will you watch, It'll put him back in the media, people forget everything he did. He'll cry, because that's what they do. He'll cry on the show and people for him. People will feel empathetic for him, and maybe he was in a bad place, and no one deserves to have these suicidal ideations.
And you know the fact that he said he had that.
That's terrible, and I hope he is getting the help he needs to reform in every aspect of his life. But we don't need to see that on TV.
Yeah, I totally agree.
Look, I mean there's been other things in terms of SAS that I find a bit troubling, and I know that it is a well watched and well received show. I know that people love the physicality of it. They love the idea of pushing your body to the extreme. They enjoy the military structure of it and almost seeing behind the scenes of what veterans or military personnel go through.
The reason why I have, and I guess this comes from a bit more of a personal perspective an issue with it is because I think it really glorifies war, and it really glorifies warrior masculinity, which I think is quite toxic in itself. And the reason why I say that is because you know, I come from an army family.
My dad has been in the army or was in the army for over twenty eight years, and so I have seen the very long term effects that happened the PTSD, the depression, the strain that has on not just your physical body, but on your mental capacity when you're somebody
who has long term served in the Special Forces. And I guess for me seeing it being used as entertainment and having celebrities kind of run around and yelling at each other and obviously putting their bodies to the absolute limits, but I just think it really trivializes what these people go through. And also on top of that, the fact
that this season is being filmed in Afghanistan. I really think that we're trying to like create this entertainment around something that really shouldn't be entertainment.
Yeah, and it's an interesting perspective because you come from it from a very personal perspective. I mean, you've seen it and you've gone through it with your family members.
I've lived the PTSD with my dad.
Yeah, So that's and I think there'd be a lot of people out there right now saying, yes, Laura agree because they've got a family member that have gone through the same thing. I totally see what you're saying, Laura. But as a consumer that doesn't have that tie, I can sit back and there are parts I thoroughly enjoy, Like when we used to watch that stupid show wipe Out, you know, wipe out the people run and jump on these big balls and get pumped. You know, I love
watching that. I love watching that. I think it's fun to go watch the celebrity do an obstical course and get pumped and get yeller. Yeah, my problem is in the people that we're saying are celebrities and are worthy of being paid to go on this show and have a bigger platform.
Well, let's see who was watching it when it also comes to probably watch it hack.
I won't.
I'll only be watching it probably so I can come on and have another rant. But that's all question number one, Hi, girls, I need help. My ex and I have mutual friends that are coming down to visit for a weekend coming up, so it's likely that we are all going to hang out as a big group at some stage, meaning I'm gonna have to see my ex. I haven't seen or spoken to him in months and things did not end well because he cheated on me. I don't want to miss out on hanging out with my friends. I feel
like I can't expect him to either. It would probably be in a group of about five to seven people. Should I still hang out with my friends when I know my ex will be there. If I'm on the fence about wanting to keep things civilized.
Woo, what would you do? I would I have a friend that is doing this right now. Really yeah for me.
Like I probably wouldn't go, no, because I think you'd go bick kray cray.
Though I just wouldn't go because, like, if you already had the friendship with those friends, you already see them outside of whenever he's around. Even though yes, maybe it then makes a point that you're like, he might realize that the reason you're not there is because of him, and that's a bit of a point to be made.
I guess taking care of yourself and your own self preservation is way more important than putting up on a front to hang out with people that you're gonna see anyway, in a friendship that you're going to maintain regardless.
I just imagine you, you know, like you're out at dinner in one of those long tables.
You're at the other end, just like flicking peas and him across the table just snotted.
It's also different, like if it's a wedding or if it's an event that you're going to miss out on actual something that's going to be important, it's going to be.
Time stamped as a memory.
But if it's just hanging out because you don't want to be left out of this group, I think you just pick and choose the times when you're actually gonna spend time together.
Totally.
So it sounds like you and you're leaving the same place and your big group of friends is coming down to visit.
This is what it sounds like. I think in this case, just tell them you want to do shits separately.
Let them go to dinner, and then you say, let's have breakfast in the morning, or let's have dinner tomorrow night. I think if you can avoid putting yourself in a situation that's going to be somewhat traumat It was a few months ago, he cheated on you and it ended badly.
I wouldn't be doing it no way in hell if it. Yes, Laura, do you think it was a wedding? Yes?
Do you think sometimes though, when you're in this position, like I just think back on like if this was me and this had happened, which I know I've been in a very similar situation before.
I personally think the reason.
Why I would find it difficult to choose between going or not going is also because a little part of me would just want to see I just want to see him.
I know, I want to go look and really buy a flame, like I'd want to be a fire flame.
He walks in and he's like, damn, she's hot. Five flame, That's what I would like. I just want a bit of that drama in my life.
And there's a little bit of me that's like, oh, I know that it's so hard to choose between the two things, but really, deep down in the bottom of the pits of my stomach, I like fucking like the drama a little bit, don't you reckon? I just feel like this is such an obvious one, Like if he's cheated on you, you're not together, Yes, you have mutual friends. Surely your friends would understand the need that you have to not want to see him, because that's going to
play on your mental health. It's going to make you feel shit. You're going to be in a situation where you feel uncomfortable. You're actually not going to be able to enjoy the time with your friends anyway, because you're gonna sit there being self conscious the whole time. Wondering whether he's looking at you, wondering whether he's thinking about you, And if he's not doing any of those things, you're gonna feel even shitter because you're like, oh, he doesn't
even care. I don't even rate in his radar. I think, just don't put yourself in that situation.
If I can do, not go. Yeah, my friend that is like in this situation, did she go? He It's not a one off. It's been an ongoing saga that we have for like six months. Same thing. He was in a really bad relationship.
The other guy's toxic, cheated and multiple times bad egg right, But they have this big group of friends and over and over and over again, he goes to the same events knowing he's going to be there, and I said, why don't you and then he always ends up being like it was so fucked.
He did this a terrible time. I was like, Okay, why do you keep doing it?
Don't go And he's like, I've got to go this weekend because it's you know, Pride or whatever. We're going to be there, and I said, I get that you want to be a part of it, but I was like, you always leave feeling so deflated and shit like every single time. And he's like, but I don't want to. I shouldn't have to give up my friends, And I agree,
no one should have to. But there's got to be a time where you choose you, like you choose your sanity and your mental health over putting yourself in these situations.
But like what a dinner.
But also if these are your real friends, like these are people who love you, who want you in their life as much as you want them in your life, They're not going to panealize you just because you didn't go to a dinner or whatever it is that your
ex boyfriend's at. They're also going to make an effort to spend time with you, because I think that if they are only giving you the option of like, oh, this is the time that we get to spend together and it is unfortunately with him every single time, then they're not really understanding your emotional needs, where you're at, how you're recovering from this, especially when you're the one who didn't do anything wrong in the relationship and you were cheated on.
I think it's just it's so much pressure. It's so much pressure.
Laughing because I just in my head playing out a scenario I was watching it happen. I'd probably like make plans with other friends, right, just accidentally rock up with the restaurants because you're fucking crazy.
No, so you've got so like this is what I do. Okay, bear with me.
I'd make plans so I had somewhere to be in, something to do, so, you know, because you don't want to be at home on your own when you know your whole group of friends is at like, I'm sure there's something else you could do, So make your plan.
But then what I do?
Dress up like a hot fire flame, turn up to the restaurant that they're at. Just say hey, guys, I'm so sorry I can't hang tonight. I'm just but I'll pop in and say hello. So you pop in as a fireflame, say hey to everyone. He clocks you, he's like, fuck, she looks so good.
No, because then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. It doesn't matter. Sometimes sometimes revenge is the best, but that's not how you keep friends.
No, but just say I'm so sorry I couldn't make it tonight. Because then you're you're popping in, You're saying HOLLI to your friends, which you wanted to do. But you're not putting yourself in the situation where you have to be at the dinner for five hours. You also look hot, he's gonna clock it. You go on and get on with your night for me like petty, Yes, patty, petty.
But also you're ticking off a lot of boxes. You're seeing your friends, you're saying hi, he's seeing that you're hot, and you're going and enjoying your night, and you're not putting yourself in a toxic situation.
Is it healthy?
Probably not? Would I do it? Yeah?
When you say you're not putting yourself in a toxic situation, I still think you're going there with the very bad intentions because you're going there not with the intention of seeing your friends. You're going there to make him jealous. That shouldn't be a motivator.
It s.
All right.
Question number two, how do you overcome loneliness for containing those human blow up dolls?
Yeah?
You just get a giant life size pillow and color it and a flash lin Do.
You have a flashlight? I always call it a flash light, I mean flashlight flash light.
No, I don't have one, because they're for a man it's a vagina. Yeah, but that was where your mind went to first. You didn't say get a dildough, you said get a flash light. And I was like, because I cater for women and men on this podcast, Laura, we have male listeners.
The flashlight.
It was wondering about flash lights and wonder how on earth you clean it?
I think, actually, I know, I think because you have one. No, well, I have a lot of friends that.
Have them, but you can turn you just like flip them inside out and like really get it out there.
But I don't think it's easy.
My old housemate used to have one, and he used to just leave it on my bed sometimes as a joke.
Not funny, but I don't.
Think he actually ever used it or like, at least I like to think he didn't use it, And.
How do you use it on your bed?
He would just leave it around the house as a joke, which now I realize is really inappropriate.
Everyone's looking at me like, that's fucked.
Okay.
I didn't even let you finish.
Moving on for context, my entire friendship group has a partner or isn't a relationship, and I'm really happy for them that they've all found their penguins. However, I am the only single person in my core friendship group and in my life, none of my friends want to go out for drinks or to party because they would rather be at home with their partners, which you know, I totally get.
I am an.
Introvert and find it very hard to make new friends. I also find it difficult to do things on my own to fill my own cup. I love being single, but when I look at my friends and see how happy they are in their relationships, it makes me feel so unbelievably lonely as I have not found the person I want to be with yet. I tried online dating and absolutely hated it as all the people I matched
with gave me the biggest ick. How do I overcome this feeling of loneliness and how do I keep the belief that I will find my penguin one day?
This one definitely resonates with me because I was in that situation for a long time. Like I know exactly what she's thinking and feeling. I'm going to speak on behalf of producer Keisha. I know Keisha has been in that situation too because we are in our thirties. Slash Keisha is close.
Actually's like, donate me, I'm rounding it up. Keisha's almost thirty.
We were in that situation everyone around us was in relationships and we're having kids and going on these romantic holidays. That's possibly why Kisha and I maybe we did grow so close so quickly, is because we were in the same stage of life and we were wanting to go out a lot to meet people. We were, you know, crying on each other's shoulders, and we were sharing that sense of loneliness. I don't think loneliness has to be
looked at as such a bad thing. I think sometimes it's okay to be on your own and feel that. But if it's actually starting to be all you think about and all you feel and become very detrimental to your life, then there are things you need to do for you. It sounds difficult because it sounds like you don't really want to be going on the dates and you don't like meeting you people. You also said you're
an introvert you want to stay in. You were going to have to make a really active, conscious decision, active effort to be going out and putting yourself in situations where you'll meet people because it's not going to just come and sit on your lap. And this was for me as well. I'm an introvert. I love staying in. People don't know that, but Kisho used to have to drag me out. She's like, you need to go out and do something. You need to meet people, because I
was like, I just want to sit inside. One thing that helped. I don't know if this is what you're a doing or if this is a possibility for you, but getting a pet really helps with the feeling of loneliness. It gives you a purpose, it gives you something to do, something to love, something that loves you back. Everyone always gets confused if my dog Delilah is mine Orquisha's, and that's because she's it's almost like shared custody because sometimes Kisha messages me, She's like I need a cud or
can I have Delilahs on it? And I'm like, it's true, and then she doesn't give it back for four weeks.
I know, I'm still confused as to whose dog it is, to be honest, but.
Because that's how much love and it can actually fill your cup in your situation, maybe I don't know if that's an option but maybe getting a pet. It could be a cat, I mean, not a goldfish, they do not fill your cup and they die a lot, but something that you can cuddle and love.
I think as well, like within our Western society, we very much prioritize romantic love as the be all and end all of the status of relationships, Like if you don't have romantic love, then all you must be a bit lonely.
It's almost like it's expected of us.
But I think that sometimes we undervalue just how powerful and important platonic French are, not just platonic friendships, but like all different kinds of love brit Like you say, like the love for a pet, there are so many other ways of receiving that that don't have to be from being in a relationship, especially if you are not enjoying dating or you're you know, needing a bit of
a break from that space. The other thing, as well, is is that I think it's important to remember that even though you feel lonely, now, that's not a static feeling. Like you know, you might feel lonely for a month, you might feel lonely for six months, but you're not going to feel lonely for years and there are things that you will do and that feeling will ebb and flow just like so many other feelings. But you probably
have to try and break out of the introvert. You have to try and break out of the it's easier to just stay home. Online dating sucks. I haven't met anyone who I like, because you probably will go through not meeting people that you like until you meet someone that you like.
That's just how it works.
I guess the thing is knowing when to put energy into something and knowing when to pull back, but also giving something the chance, because I think if you're an introvert, you're not enjoying online dating. It can be so quick and easy to be like, oh, I got the itck from everyone before you've even actually given that person the chance to show that they can be a decent bloke or girl.
Yeah, and also I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, But situational friendships are a thing. And I say situational friendships because people gravitate towards each other that are in the same situation and the same stage of life. New mums want to be around new mums because they understand it. The chaos is the same they have things to talk about the same way.
Is also a very very lonely time of life as well for a lot.
Of mums exactly, And it's the same for for people like you right now that you're saying you're single with all your friends are coupled up, so they're staying home.
I have made so many.
Friends of friends people I have met friends of friends of friends who I've been out to dinner with met once, but they are also single, and you become friends with them, you're like, oh, we should go out sometime because you know that they're probably in the same situation. So maybe he do need to start to branch out in a way that you're comfortable with. If you are not comfortable to be going online dating, that's cool, but you still
need to be putting yourself in the wild. Because if you're not going to put yourself in the wild and you're not going to online date, how do you think that's going to happen. So maybe you become friends with someone else that's in the same situation as you. And there's got to be someone else that you know in your circle of friends friends that is single, that is willing to go out and have a dinner and have a drink and meet people.
Or you just sabotage your friends relationships and make them all single again.
That's another site. Who's cheating on? Who just break up your hair friend else's relationships? Yeah, that all your friends are single and then you can all hang out again.
I guess one other thing I want to say, because the question is, you know you're feeling this loneliness. Now this is not a plug for our podcast, but one thing that I found helped when I was feeling that is when I didn't really want to go out and be with other people and I didn't have a dog at that point, or I didn't want to be online dating.
I would go for a walk and put a podcast on.
Now, there are plenty of female podcasts that I used to listen to, comedy podcasts, Girls Got to Eat. We've had them before. On the podcast, my therapist goes to me, that's a comedy podcast. I put on women based podcasts. Sometimes they even true crime, but I find the comedy ones better and I felt less alone. I would be walking the coastal walk and I'd be listening to two women laughing, talking, sharing these moments, and I would feel like I had filled my cup to a point that
didn't make me feel lonely anymore. And I had a laugh and I felt better. So I think if there are things that you can do like that that might seem like a strange suggestion, but it it's real and it's what I did and it's what helped me. Yeah.
I mean the last thing I would add to this, which I think we've covered off so many times before. We've spoken them to that life on cover No, well, so many times we've spoken about loneliness before. We've been like, do a sport, get a pet, you know, like do other things in your life that open up your circle, explore those looser connections and you know, you know, we can talk about all those different types of ways of
bringing in new people into your life. But I also think it's a big part of this is like finding a purpose as well.
Well.
If you're not happy in your work, if you don't have a purpose outside of just your friendship groups. Maybe it's working with the charity, maybe it's I don't know, writing, whatever it is, maybe it's journaling. There's so many other things in life that can bring purpose to you that make you feel less lonely that don't have to do with people that aren't dependent on everyone else around you.
They're things that you have control over.
And I really think that like a charitable aspect of that can go a long way. You're helping other people which also get something back for you, and I think that that community aspect can really be built into it.
So that's something else to explore. What is it that you.
Could do that is selfless but also in turn you're feeling less lonely for it? Question number three, third and final question. It's a quickie, literally what could be? How do I know if I have squirted?
Is this coming from you?
Laura? Though?
So firstal question, No, this has come as there has been some confusion. This person who's written in thinks maybe they have squirted, but they're not sure. Oh and I guess the question here is is what would be defined as squirting? How much liquid needs to be a squirt?
Well?
How do you know?
Is it a different sensation? What does it feel like? Is it so obvious like having an orgasm? We all say that you just know, but do you just know?
Well?
We have produce a Keisha here who is a squirt.
Welcome to the podcast produce a Keisha.
She's like, I'm not getting out of dying.
She's like, you.
Shine, I applause. I slowly clapped you. I first clapped you in.
Come on over, I'll protect you can come over to them, just to clarify, because I know people think that production I hate each other.
I don't know what I'm forcing you over to talk about your squirting. I think it was when you called her a squirter that she took that to a ertor you know.
My objection is to being called the squire of the team, like I'm a pokemon.
Keisha the squirt. Everyone has to have a nickname Kha. It's that or truffle. Not going to lie that's the case.
No, the reason I'm happy to talk about this is simply because you're not and Laura, you haven't squared it before.
I've never or maybe I am the person who doesn't know. I have never had an experience where I've been like, oh, that was a squirt you know?
How do you know?
Yeah? I think it is one of those similar to the orgasm thing you kind of do know, But a few things that I think would make it a little bit more describable to someone and I haven't experienced this much, but when I have, I.
Was like, what the fuck is going? What is happening?
Okay, so a couple of different things. So it is caused by touching like a gland that's quiet.
We don't need to know the scientific we just want to know what do you actually see an experience? So this is what I mean though, because it describes the difference between that and being wet, because it's like a different viscosity, like being wet from being turned on?
Is quiet? Watery?
No?
The opposite? Ah right, quite like a viscous solution. Yeah, Like it's quite like glue.
Have you ever lifted your tongue and involuntarily I can voluntary stuff come out? Yeah, it's from your gleb gland called gleating, So it's kind of like that, but down there, so it's like more of a watery thing.
Okay.
So here's my question though, So when in someone's squirts or in your experience, because I'm not going to use you as the benchmark for all people who squirt. If you squirt, is it a feeling like an orgasm where you know that there's a release or is it purely that you know because of the wetness.
Is there a physical sensation that is different for me?
It's definitely a different physical sensation, So it doesn't feel as good as an orgasm, Like it's kind of a little.
Bit more like there is a sensation.
But like I said, it's the thing I would like in it too, is when you lift up your tongue and like the water squirts out and you're like na, But that's not relieving for me. I don't get like, I'm not like ooh, that that hit a spot. I don't find the sensation of that a relieving one. Like it's not comparable to an orgasm or to like being super turned on and being sexually super aroused. But physically, when you're looking at it, is it like water is
literally I say water. We're just gonna say what we know it's not. Is it literally squirshing out?
Is it obvious that it's a thing or is it just more of it that floods out like a little over a waterfall or is it like a spray gun?
Like what are they looking at?
In my experience, Like the first time this happened, I only really knew because he knew.
And said something he was like, oh look, and I was like, I put himself on the back, like what is going on?
But I realize it's because of like the particular technique and the fact that he knew he was like hitting a gland deliberately because that would happen.
So this is the thing, right, because I feel like there is a technique for making it happen. It's like I think finger banging is the way to go for a lot of people from what I've heard. And I say this because genuinely it has not happened to me. My next question is how much how much liquid is there?
I think it could vary like a lot, based on like the person. In my experience, it wasn't enough to have to wash bedsheet, but I think that that's not the most common. I think that for some people it's like quite a substantial amount of liquid.
Like lay the tarp holling down.
The reason why I asked this, though, is because I think that porn and I think that the general conversations around squirting is maybe what has confused some people as to whether they have or haven't done it before, because it seems like it is this like huge unbelievable rush of liquid like you're just squirting every and I'm like, surely it's not that otherwise you would be washing bed sheets and laying down some sort of waterproofing sheet.
Some people do, some people all right, Brittany, step up to the plane. Plenty of friends.
Don't be confused if you think it's a little bit, and don't be confused if you think it's a lot.
You haven't wet yourself.
I have friends that have like full cups of water on the bed, like it looks like you've wet yourself.
I think it's one of those situations like you've asked, how do you know that it's happened? I mean, in a similar way to how orgasms are so different for each person. You can have clatoral ones, you can have people who experience penetrative ones, and they can feel so different. I think this could be a similar thing.
For me.
There wasn't a huge amount of volume, and like it felt good, but it definitely didn't feel comparable to an orgasm. But that could just be my body, Like your body could be really different and it could feel like the best thing that's ever happened to you.
Yeah, I mean I feel like it's been held up at the moment as like the holy grail of sex. It used to be let's get an orgasm, and now it's like you've only had a good sex if you've squirtted.
Yeah. And also I think it's LEDs like a toxic mask thing where they're kind of.
Like I made a squirt, like, you know, got it a square.
I'm like, dude, it didn't feel it Like, it doesn't feel as good as for me, So don't make that the goal.
I reckon.
Your guy didn't even do it. He was quickly like, put a couple of water there, and he's like, I've done I just it And you're like, oh my god, is that what it is? He's like, yeah, tell everyone, tell you the podcast tagged me.
Well, anyway, guys, that is literally it from us. Thanks for sharing that. Sorry for putting you on the spot. I hope you enjoyed. Props to the guy who did it, beause I'm sure he wanted that pat on the back as well.
In commas, Okay, Kesh just said he's a funckord. Guys.
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