Ask Uncut - Resourcefully Fertilising Your Plants

Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.

Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask gun cut where we answer you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions.

Why did I just throw peace signs to you? Bilateral? When I said, it's Brittany by.

Lateral like both, yeah, by life double.

It's a double whammy. A double piece'll do blae. I don't think people single piece anymore.

There's only two kinds of people who do peace signs these days, and it's millennials.

And five year olds. No, you're a millennial, so you fit in. You're fine.

I still to this day have to fight my hand coming up in a photo to peace sign like I just saw.

That's not bubbly blue too.

Laura can get as.

Close up with that John a slow motion snot That should be.

The piece of social content from today's video of all the highlights that are going to happen on today's episode, Please let it be this piece of snot that flew out of my nose straight into my hand.

But I'm seen the bubble it was.

You know, when you're like talking to someone, you snop bubble and you know, but you quickly wipe it away and you're like, they probably didn't see it, and you can see you the conversation.

That's because most of the time it happens in front of people who wouldn't call it out that when it's your really good friend, they can be like, I saw that that happened, and I'll never let it go.

Okay, hang on, Speaking of that, I was in a sauna last night and the sauna is nice. It was wonderful. I sawn it five times a week. It's my thing.

Because he who doesn't have kids sitting here right now, because everyone else I don't have kids.

I don't have time to sworn five times a week.

I freaking love to guys the sauna. I can get from my bedroom and be in the sauna walking in one hundred and twenty seconds. In two minutes, it is directly across from my house, Like you can't be closer in a sauna, So like sometimes I'm just like, oh, duck across and listen to a podcast in there.

You could be forgiven for thinking that the sauna is actually in Brits. It's not.

And she has an infrared, but it's not. It's across the road.

No.

But I was just talking.

About people that ignore things on your face or something. I was in the sauna last night and it's a thoroughfare like it's the place to be. People come and go. It's not a single sauna. It's a big one, so you know you can fit, Like, so you all.

Go in there together. You just sit in there.

Yeah, that's what people do. Yeah this, Laura looks so shocked.

It's gross.

So you can what are those things called that where you're like you put your meat in and you cook them like a gravy boat.

Yeah. No, I was like, no, I don't take my gravy pot.

I don't take my gravy boaty in Actually a lot of people, Yeah, that was exactly what they said incomes the Shrimp.

Sorry, Laura's lost.

Do you remember when people used to call people that had really great bodies but not great head You just realized that's.

Not what I was saying. I was not calling you.

You're out and clear, you're clearly your face is clearly better than your body.

Also, also losers, it's not a shrimp, it's a prawn.

That is why I didn't connect the two, because I don't think anyone has said shrimp and yeah, your lobster, you're obviously extremely attractive.

Whatever it starts at about the ankles and shows.

Up, give you this shovel to keep digging your whole. You No, guys, we haven't finished one story yet, so we've gone to like four stories. I was in the sauna, people coming and going, talking NonStop. It turned into a therapy session for this one guy who was asking me all this dating advice because his sister listens to the pod. He's like, oh, you have that podcast. My sister is always like, have you seen Brittany.

In the sauna?

Anyway, So we're talking to so many people for like twenty minutes. Then finally when I got out, this guy just walked up to me because he was about to go in the sauner. He's like hey, and he's like, oh, you got sang on your face. And I had this huge, big thing on my cheek that was it a big black I don't know, not'sno. But my point was not one person in that thoroughy in that sauna, as I was talking directly to them for twenty minutes, said anything, and this one guy that I barely knew told me.

It is mood lighting in there. It's not like it's bright lights.

No, it is bright lights.

You go to a sauna and talk to people like a fury session sweating in bright light?

I could that's my worst night. Isn't it like it's red? Isn't it like it's the infrared ones?

Everyone's a hot stone. It's not infrared. She has stones and stuff.

Okay, one time someone in a sauna I did try the whole group sauna thing and they stood up and they kind of like moved their hands and the sweat from their finger flung onto me.

And I've never been filled with so much disgust and rage.

I was like, You've got to embrace it. Gee, So no, I'm.

Not having someone else's sweat that I don't know, a stranger's sweat flling onto me and not make a comment about it.

Don't you ever have sex and sweat and like your partner's sweat is on you, she's not. She's not letting.

What goes on in your It's.

Like fight club, dear.

All right, Well, look, there's lots to talk about today, but firstly, before we get into all of it, I mean, let's just segue. We're gonna go from the funny stuff to the not funny stuff back to the funny stuff.

Like, oh, We've got the best community in the entire world. So I we do, we really do. You guys are amazing.

So I just genuinely wanted to say thank you because I feel the love very much, so.

Well, we love you.

I actually, while we're on that train, I also want to say big thank you to the community, because I got a lot of messages too, which I appreciated. That said, I would have cried for you, Brittany when I looked at your wedding dress.

And then we're back up again.

Hey, Brett, I just want to let you know I would have cried for the wedding dress.

If you'd brought me, I would have cried too. But you didn't bring me, and you haven't shown me, so I'm not going to cry for you.

You were in Melbourne.

I did say let's catch up.

You wouldn't show me, so I said, send me a photo. No, I was at that trade show anyway. I spent my entire weekend life in style hocking jewels on a stand.

To be fair, you were crying a lot.

As it was.

Still it probably vig easier.

I'm sure I flux is not on someone on that stand, because let me tell you, everything's really lubricated inside me at the moment.

Why you just like you don't sell anything? You're like wise because she's brave.

Wrong with your snot pretty much? All right, let's get into vibes and unsubscribes.

Okay, my vibe this week is you If you've been following for a while, you know that I use the menstrual cup like the period cup. I don't use tampons or pads anymore. I haven't for years. But I have always until recently used a period cup that came in like a sash, like you keep it in a little.

Bag, little bag. Yeah, like a little bag, like a little baggy for your period cup.

Yeah.

I wouldn't know what a baggie is, but yeah, it's a tiny little baggy.

Everyone it's a tiny moura in her thirties doesn't know we were in twenty is Dwine's gonna told you?

Yeah, so you just used me a bag that you tied at the sides, which was fine because you cleaned your period cup and wiped it dry and you put it in.

It's fine.

But I recently updated it to tom organic period cup and it comes in a plastic hard casing with little pop top. Not only is it the casing, but it's also how you sterilize it. So after you use a menstrual cup, you usually put it into a cup of boiling water and you let it soak, and that's how you clean it.

Process the same mug that you make your tea in.

Yes, that's what I do.

Yeah, yeah, I lick it after Laura dry.

Some people dry and some.

People pour John on the other guy in the room. It's like, what's a period?

Some people pour their menstrual blood into their houseplants.

That's what I do.

I don't pour it.

Into their houseplants. And apparently it's really good for your plants.

Yeah.

I don't actually use a period cup for the week I have my period. I just cock a leg over my plant.

You just hang out. You got me, Laura, you got me hang out over your mon's.

Everyone's like what you doing? And I'm like, just just chill it. I can't come out this week.

I'm fertilizing.

They're like, you mean you're trying for a baby. No, no, I'm blaming not to my plant.

Straight through the soil, straight to the root.

Get it.

So anyway, it comes in this hard plastic casing with a pop top, and the casing is not only the casing, but it's the sterilization.

So what you do is.

Put the tiniest bit of water a couple of meals in the bottom, close the pop top, throw it in the microwave for twenty seconds or thirty seconds, and it sterilizes. The process is so quick and easy, so for someone if anyone uses menstrul cups, I might be slow to the game here with this casing thing.

But until now I didn't even know it was a thing.

Like I need to bring it down a second because I can't stop laughing. All I'm thinking is, you can like sterilize your menstrual cup and make your popcorn at the same time.

You can plant do blay once again, I will stop.

I have seen these, and I love tom Organics as a brand. So you know, when you've had a baby, you just believe that no one tells you this. You bleed for so long afterwards, right like it's just like the world's longest, never ending period. But you have to use maternity pads because you can't use templeons, you can't use anything like that. The tom Organics maternity pads are fucking amazing. They're the only ones that I've ever used that don't feel like you're wearing a diaper. Like they're

If you've been thinking about trying it, you don't have to worry about if you've run out having to go buy it because you've always got it in your bag. It's real and that is not sponsored. Tom Organics could sponsor us.

Tom.

If you want to sponsor us, come on down my vibe for this week.

I actually stumbled across this because I was watching our YouTube channel, little Pluggy plug Plug. Subscribe to us on YouTube. It's freaking great. It is one of my favorite content creators. You guys have had me bang on about this for a long time. Mark Manson has a YouTube clip. It is less than ten minutes and it's called the Shocking Effects of five hundred Days Without Alcohol. Obviously, Like I mean, we've spoken of one podcast quite a lot this year, I've.

Almost gone sober.

Like I kind of consider myself mostly a non drinker now my too. Yeah, my desire to drink alcohol, yeah me as well.

She drops the bottle. Now she's just putting it beside the lounge.

My desire to drink alcohol has evaporated, and I'm really really.

Enjoying the effects of sober life.

And something I have found quite interesting this year is that while I've been speaking to people about being sober, I almost think that they assume you fall into one of two camps. One is that you were either a problematic drinker and your behavior was not good when you drank alcohol. Emily Weir did a wonderful episode with You Guys last year on that. I actually will link that in the show notes for anyone who might want to listen.

I've never felt as though that fit for me.

And this particular YouTube, Mark went through how he redefined what meant like he was the type of person who experienced hypo dopaminergic and seeking out stimulus and that's why he used to drink. He used to get that impulsive nature.

Because he used to get these.

Novel and exciting experiences. And so here too are the quotes from the YouTube. He said, quitting alcohol has completely reshaped my idea of pleasure, enjoyment, and fun. Novelty and excitement is a cheap substitute for intimacy and happiness. So if you don't have much intimacy and happiness, you can always fill the void with novelty pretty easily, and for him that was coupled with drinking. I really enjoyed his perspective on how his life has shifted since not having alcohol in it.

I think it's become way more common as well, because even when we started this podcast five years ago, it was so uncommon to talk about being sober, and I think if you said that you weren't drinking, it was associated with exactly what you said, that you must have

The one exception I think still exists kind of the stigma is I've got quite a few friends who are in similar stages where they're choosing not to drink, but they're dating and they're finding it a little bit not awkward.

Perhats, because it makes it easy on a first date, Yeah, let's go and get a wine, Let's get.

A drink, And also when they're with this person that they don't know well and they're like, oh, I don't drink or I'm not drinking because of the assumptions that we've made about why you might not be drinking alcohol. I think they find it hard to be like, it's not been a problem in my life.

I'm still fun, Like I'm still fun. Don't worry.

I just I think for them it's been hard to kind of navigate dating alongside sober life. But the thing for me is that I never thought I experienced anxiety because when I'm drunk, I actually I quite enjoy my personality. I've never been the one to cause arguments or you know, get to emotional or anything like that. But it's been very interesting for me because I didn't realize how much three or four days later my mental health would be

I don't have these ups and downs.

Because I thought anxiety must have been that you had anxiety about the behavior that you've done the night before, But for me, it's actually been the more prolonged effects.

I think.

So, yeah, look, if you're curious about it.

If you're a little bit so curious maybe or you just want to see a different perspective.

It's ten minutes.

YouTube's produced beautifully. What is your vibe for the way it was?

So my vibe is I mean, you guys might have noticed if you've been watching our socials from the last episode or if you're watching this on YouTube. We've got brand new spanking chairs in the studio. Yes, so we also have new side tables, which you probably can't see that well.

And then you pink rug.

We also have a new rug.

Really we really like upped our game here. But I've recommended this before. You guys all know Koala mattresses. Koala mattresses are amazing. I have a Koala couch at home. It's modular. The piece has come apart. You can rip the covers off it, which was a really exciting discovery after having it for a year. So I already am like sold into the world of Koala furniture. But these are Koala chairs. Their fabric is beautiful. The name is the Suffolk Chair, and they're big.

That's the thing I like because none of us sit properly.

I'm literally laying down doing a podcast right, I'm doing yoga, I have my feet on the chair. I'm laying sideways and I've never been more comfortable. But if you've been thinking about upgrading your lounde room or getting new furniture, I don't think many people would instantly think of Koala because I think people think of them as a mattress company rather than them being like a great furniture or lounge room company.

I have always used their lounge that is the sofa bed, so it's in my spare the folder.

I've got that as well upstairs.

Yeah, because I don't have a lot of room in my house, but I wanted a spare room. So Keisha actually slept on it last week. Yes, that's you don't need to know she was. No, Keisha slept on it last week. And it's so good because it's a beautiful couch and then you just literally grab a little flat.

I was so interture. That's not why I was at first.

My flats were not being she described a little flat.

But you just flap it out like you just pour it out in one swoop, and then you've got a ready made bed.

Can I tell you, guys what.

I like about Kohala the most, And this exists for these chairs as well. No fucking screws, not an Allen Key in sight. I put a bed together with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I reckon Kowala is responsible for saving relationships.

Because I've put pieces of furniture together in the past.

Always arguments you can never put a flat pack together without causing an argument within your relationship.

I agree.

Yeah, the bed took about fifteen minutes to put together, and these chairs didn't take long either, so.

Which Keisha would know because she assembled all of them. Yeah, all right, let's get into the questions.

Okay, Question number one.

I had this girlfriend that I had only known for a short time through work early in our friendship. Just a couple of months in, she asked me for advice on proposing to her boyfriend. I encouraged her to go for it, and a few weeks later I found myself hiding behind a beach umbrella camera in hare and capturing her proposal. Not long after, she asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was flattered and accepted, though I was

Oh devoed.

Imagine if your venue was like, well, sorry double booked.

Oh Jesus, that's.

A pretty big mistake.

Anyway, we won't name that venue. Life got busy for both of us, but I made an effort to stay in touch, regularly checking in. Her responses were few and far between, until one day, out of the blue, she sent me a very long text telling me she didn't want me in the bridal party anymore. She claimed that I was the reason we'd drifted apart, but said she still wanted me.

In her life.

Yet, when the wedding finally happened, I wasn't even invited.

I shouldn't laugh, But how do you go from I'm so sorry, we're not laughing at you.

What a rapid decline from capturing the proposal to bridesmaid to not bridesmaid to not been invited a few months after the wedding, she messaged me saying she would love to catch up.

Now I'm torn.

Should I take the.

High road and give her a second chance or cut tires since she was the one who cut me off first. We still have mutual friends, so it's likely that we're running to each other at some point.

Hel h cut your losses. Yeah, buy ye, cut your losses.

Who knows, I mean, we don't have the full context of like what happened.

Maybe you did something that offended her.

We don't know, right, that could be a possibility, and then she might be so conflict avoidant that she distanced herself. The thing though, to me that screams that maybe she is not someone who prioritizes friendships or has strong friendships in her life is the fact that you guys had only known each other for such a short period of time, and you were the person that she prioritized to have

And maybe she doesn't have many friends in her life.

Maybe she was onto the next exciting person or exciting thing that she'd fill that void with. I would say, you know, the fact that this all happened in quite a relatively short period of time of your friendship, she didn't even have them the decency to speak to you before the wedding and have you there as a guest. I for me would see this friendship as way too

How devo that you don't even get an.

Invited to the wedding make the cut, Like you've gone from being the one that gives the advice of like should I propose? You've encouraged it, you've shot the engagement, you're part of the bridal party, and then you're not even part of the wedding.

Yeah, it's crazy, Like.

It doesn't make sense to me.

I understand the demotion from bridesmaid to guests, like I understand that if over a year goes past or two years and friendships change, but it's pretty drastic to cut someone from a wedding completely. I don't see the reason that you would want to catch up with her now, Like what is the point you're not you haven't been talking, you haven't gone to the wedding, Like it's not a relationship in your life that you need or you're trying to save her. She was new, not a twenty year friendship.

So I'm a bit like totally also to cut someone from your wedding without a conversation like that.

It's the coldness of it. I completely agree.

I also that though, didn't you uninvite someone by just not sending them invitation?

Yeah?

I did, but that was different. It really it was a very different circumstance.

My only thing though, is and you kind of touched on a brit when you said, like, this is not a twenty year friendship. It's the same as if you were dating someone. I think people can appear to be especially in friendships, and I think sometimes it takes longer to figure it out. People can appear to be amazing, the friendship can appear to be incredible, and then the longer the time goes, people show you who.

They really are.

And I think the way that she's behaved has shown you who she really is, and that she isn't someone who puts the same level of effort into friendships or puts the same level of commitment into them as you do. So it's a really beautiful quality that you still after all of this, want to catch up and maybe give the friendship a second chance. For me, I would ask the question, like how much drama is that going to

Again.

Personally, I read that and I'm like, that is way too much work, and I could not be bothered.

It's also such a strange thing, like out of the blue, when you have no connection or communication with someone to be like, oh my god, we should catch up. Why why I don't understand that because you're not friends anymore. So unless she wants something again, I don't get.

It, Which is also why I said it at the very beginning though, Brick, because I was like, the context of this doesn't quite make sense to me. If it was something that had happened, or there was an issue that should have been brought up before the wedding, like that's a big conversation to have, But maybe something went down that you're not aware of, or maybe you did something that really hurt her feelings and it's a misunderstanding,

Whatever it is.

But I I don't know even if something did, Like look, let's play Devil's Advocate for a second.

You go and you have the conversation with her.

Maybe if that is what you're thinking about, it could be good for you to get closure. Like if you want to go and have another catch up with her and have a conversation with her, it might give you an opportunity to draw more conclusions around why her behavior was so bloody strained in the first place.

I feel like it's just a waste of energy, to be honest.

I agree completely, But some people like to package this shit up in a nice bolow. You know they do, even with ex's and stuff. There's been loads of times that we've had questions come in and I've been like, I would never speak to that guy again. But relationships are not as easily navigated, and sometimes our curiosity is what gets the better of us, Like what does that

Imagine if she wanted to catch out with her because she's like, I just noticed she didn't get me a wedding present.

No, she's like, I'm pregnant.

I want your advice on how I should plan like the gender surprise and the baby shower.

Can you come and help me in video?

Wak I actually want to call my baby after you sat a kay?

Question Number two.

My best friend sometimes makes comments when we are all out for dinner, like with the girls. She says, Okay, tonight, no more baby talk. It punches me straight in the gut. This year, my entire life has been consumed with my baby. I was on family leave and just started back at work. Now at this point of my life, all of it revolves around my baby. I feel confused and don't know who I am anymore, and I feel like I have nothing else to talk about. And to my friends, who

I love this question because I think that this is something that so many moms go through. I mean every mom. I think this is something that every mum goes through. After I first had Maley, every conversation I had with my friends was mostly around being a mum, or around something that she had done or something that had happened. And it's true, like your entire life becomes the fact that.

You're like this conduit for this baby.

Like everywhere you go, they come with you everything you do, They're part of it. And it's divisive, right because some of you listening, we always get comments where it's like, well, I didn't just become my baby, you know, I still was my own person. I still held on to some semblance of my own identity. If you're able to do that, that's fucking amazing, because for a lot of other women

Wild So I get it.

At the time of life there was I think back on that and I'm like, how the fuck did we do that?

I think back on that and I think, how the fuck did you do?

Like I had her in a bouncer under the table while still working crazy. So I get it, and I think, firstly, give yourself a bit of empathy. You're not boring this life is. I know it can seem sometimes boring when you're talking about it because you're in groundhog Day, but you're also not going to be in this phase of life for forever. This is a very finite time in

Like worlds apart at the moment.

Having conversations with our friends who haven't been through, you know, the transition of having children really I think opens it up and allows you to be honest around your feelings. It also gives them the opportunity to be a little bit more empathetic about it. But also, I think, on the flip side, having a bit of sense around you that sometimes the conversation has to gravitate away from it just being babies to allow your friends to also feel as though that they are able to talk about the

It's not like you would ever say to your friend group, because it sounds like I'm getting the impression in this group of girls that go out to dinner, like this close group, I'm getting impression that she might be the only one with a baby. Yeah, but you would never say to them. You would never sit down and say, all right, no, we're talking about fucking don't want to talk.

About dating life, no more dating guys.

Yeah, you wouldn't ever say that to them for them to not talk about what's going on in their life. So I do think that's a conversation you need to have. And I get it when you go through a phase of life when nothing else is happening, there is nothing else to talk about because you're not doing anything else. You are a life source for the baby. You're literally keeping a human alive Like that is a huge responsibility and it is going to consume all of your time.

I just God, I just have so many memories of this point in my life. Like it's so hard because I think every single mum goes through this. There's even been times where, like, for example, I was reading I Won't Say the podcast, I was reading reviews recently and some of the comments was like enough we know you're having a baby enough, we know you've just had a baby, and we would receive the same things when when I just had Maley and Lola, some of the fucking reviews we receive would be like.

You're not the first person in the world to have a baby.

Laura, and I was like, I know, I get it. I know I'm not the first person, but it's the first time I've done it, and it's literally the only thing I think about at the moment. In fact, trying to think about anything else feels mentally exhausting.

But what you have to remember is the people that are writing that don't have kids, and there's ten times more people that are probably listening.

To you because of the conversation.

Yeh.

To be honest, though, sometimes it is people who have had kids but their kids are older. It's sometimes women who hold this kind of like they hold a standard for other women and it's the standard that they were held to. There's just a lack of empathy all around. Honestly, I think the only way that you can navigate this conversation is to just be super honest with your friends and say the next time that that is said, you don't have to do it in a way that's to

I think.

Just say, guys, I know that baby chat must be so boring for you so times, and I'm so sorry if I do monopolize the conversation talking about my child. But I'm really struggling with even feeling as though i have anything else to talk about, Like I am struggling because I don't think I have anything of interest or anything of value to add to the conversation because that feels like I'm living a totally different life. So it's the only thing that I'm experiencing, So it's the thing I talk about.

I do believe genuinely.

With that being said, your friends love you, and they're going to treat this with a little bit more care and sensitivity.

This is also why friendships change and navigate at different times. It's also why people when they have children get into mothers groups so that they know that they have a commonality a similarity with the other people that they're hanging out with, and you can all compare and you can talk about the same things. You can complain, you can show each other photos, whatever it is. This is the

Reference to her a.

Few times, so you are saying, like, her opinion matters to me, I value it. I feel like I'm not enough for her in that group. Have a conversation with her and say, yeah, exactly what you said, Laura, Like I've just gotten like nothing else. I know it's probably boring for you, but it's important to me, and I don't have anything else happening right now.

Do you know what's also really hard when you're like the pioneer of something in a friendship group, when you're the first person to do it, it's so hard because you don't have the other people to then have that conversation with. But I guarantee you in three or four years time, if your friends also choose to have children, that's all they're going to be fucking talking about.

And then you're going to be.

Talking about, Oh girl, we're talking about babies again, and my kids are five, Like this is boring chat it's what happens. And actually, interestingly, I was having a conversation with a friend recently and do you.

Have other friends?

I how dare gosh?

Well, funnily enough, I have friends who are mums so that I can bore them with my mom chat. I was talking to her around her experience with her daughter, who has an anxiety disorder, but she was diagnosed very very young, and she said, you know, it was so isolating because none of my friends and none of the people in my friendship group had been through it yet, and nobody had any understanding for it, nobody had any care to talk about it, and I felt like we were just as a family suffering alone.

And then five years on, other.

People in that friendship group, their children were then, you know, dealing with different versions of either an anxiety or disorder or other things that you know teenage girls go through, and then everyone was talking about it, and everyone had a lot of empathy for each other because so many more people had been through it. She said that, you know, she had this lunch with them this one day and was like, look, I don't want this to be a big deal, and I don't want you to think that

Holy shit, it doesn't get bigger than that.

The other part is because you have asked, like a few questions to this, why do you feel a lot of pressure on myself to solve your life problems? But how do I bind myself Again? That's really tough. Now I am not a parent, but every person in my life because all my friends, almost all of them, probably only a couple two maybe Keisha's one of them that don't have kids.

So I've been.

Surrounded by them for years and I've been there with my friends as they go through it. The common denominator is time. It's like you have to dedicate that time to suckling and keeping your child alif and then.

You will event you don't do the suckling just fy.

But Laurie, you're a prime example. I remember, I mean, you never stopped working in terms of like you took the kids to the pod and Tony May and stuff, but you didn't have a lot of other things in your life because you were so tired. You would go home, you'd be with Matt, you'd put the kids to bed. They were on a timeframe. And as the years went past, I feel like you found yourself again in a way.

Absolutely give yourself grace, it's time.

I think the greatest I mean, everyone has advice for you and you're a new parent, but the best advice I ever received one was don't listen to people's advice. And the second condom and the second was everything's a phase, like this is just as soon as you think you've got something nailed, like if shit hits the fan, and as soon as she's hitting the fans, soon enough, it changes again, like you're never in the same phase. And I don't think that that just is relating to the

My mentional on the mom's behalf.

My mom has asked if we can give her a lift home from the airport. It's only early days in the relationship and a long two hour drive from the airport. This might possibly be the first time she and he meets, and I'm not ready for that. I don't know how to say no without feeling guilty, and if I tell her, I'm not ready for her to meet him.

She simply won't understand.

I know she will take over the car ride home and won't stop yabbing or complaining. I'm feeling so anxious about it already.

I'm thirty five years of I.

Don't know why that means anything, but sure I'm thirty five years old. If that has any help with context, it actually does, doesn't it.

Yeah?

I think it does because it's probably a little bit more serious. But having said that.

They've only been dating for two to three months.

I don't think you can ask you mum to get in a two hour uber when you're driving the same way, Like, I don't think you can do that.

The mum is asking, so how do you say no?

I don't think you can. That's what I'm saying. I think that you have to give your mom a ride.

You just suck it up.

It's two hour drive.

You're either telling.

Her to get a taxi or an uber for two hours. I agree with you when you're in the same trip, or you're saying find someone else to drive two hours to pick you up. In this sense, I think bravo and the mom. She's planned this impeccably. She has done this so that she can meet your lover. And I think that that's a great idea. You're thirty five years old. I think it's okay for them to meet, even if it.

Doesn't work out.

It's not really the world like if anything, see how they get along, have a laugh. It's okay if she takes over for two hours, if you need to quote unquote warn your boyfriend that you know Mom's gonna yap your head off for two hours.

But I think, like I think.

You need to embrace this. I one hundred agree with you, Britt.

The only thing that I think I disagree with I don't disagree with you at all, but what I might do differently if you have an issue here in this situation. On one hand, you've got your mom, your mom who raised you, who loves you, suckled, who's suckled you, who lost her identity for you, Dad, not know who she is, she you, She can't even.

Speak to her friends because of you.

You know she's lost her friendship groups all right.

You got your mom who needs to get home from at the airport as well two hour drive. You've got some guy you've dated for two to three months and went on a holiday with who you even have said you're not even sure if you're that invested in.

Who you're going to prioritize on the drive home.

The math a'e math.

Okay, So if you have to make a choice here.

And you don't want them to meet, the person you're having that conversation with is your boyfriend. Hey, we've had so much fun on this holiday. I've had a great time. I am not ready for you to meet my mom yet. So unfortunately we're not going to come home from the airport together. I'm going to go home with my mom because otherwise she's going to have two hour drive.

That's awkward. That's an awkward chat.

No, she might be digmatized totally, in which Kate, it's your mom stigmatizing is hard.

Day left me at the fucking airport for some guy that she wasn't even sure she would introduce me to.

After I sucked her.

It would be so awful.

Okay, I've got it.

Picture this.

I'm already mad at her and she's five, like, is she going to do this to me?

This is what someone told me once when I was trying to make a hard decision.

Closure eyes.

Everyone doing this with me, okay, you're on there.

Did you say something about a boat and you're not for sure?

There's a boat.

In the boat is your mom and the guy that you've been dating for two months, and the boat has a leaking hole in it and it's slowly going down, and neither of them can swim. It's my hypothetical, noniether of them can swim. You can only say one who is saving? I bet you you're saving your mom, so that means your mom can get in the car. That is a real thing that I was once told how to make a decision between two men.

Was psychic. Twice they said the same story.

He went to a psychic with help as to to choose, and that was there.

That was their premonition.

That was so funny because I took it really seriously. I was really with my eyes closed, thinking that my whole world was about to be changed. And then I when she's like, the boat has a hole. I was trying so hard not to laughs.

I was like, I'd plug it. I'm plug a hole. Natually, it's hanging from a kliff. I like that one better.

I don't think that this is as big a deal, but I think it can turn into a massive deal. If it was a fifteen minute car ride, if it was a half an hour car ride, I would go, oh, look, mom, you know, let's just go separate.

We've got so much baggage.

Whatever the excuse is, but a two hour car ride to leave your mum to try and get her own way home just seems really mean. And even if it is premature and you're not ready for them to meet, I guess my big questions would be, why why don't you want them to meet? Is it because you're embarrassed by your mom? Is it because you think he's.

Gonna judge you?

Because if your mom, is it because you're not sure if there's longevity in this relationship. All of these things can be managed. But the only thing I would want to say, and it comes up as a big conversation, a lot of people might feel embarrassed by their parents, or that their parents might do or say something that's embarrassing.

Do you know what I mean? So I don't know.

I think, don't overthink it all, get in one big car together and let mum do a thing.

Well. The only other thing is there could be a chance that you're having these feelings because you don't want him to think you're rushing it, like maybe you feel like the relationship isn't at the point of meeting the families,

But are you cool?

If my mom comes home like we're laying for the same time, it's two hours, it's like, you know, I know it's not perfect. Tell him not driving to the airport to come and she's picking you up. She's not like I'm coming to get your honey.

Yeah, I do understand that that could be weird, but yeah, it's a road tripe. You guys are thirty five. If that freaks him out, then he's immature as well.

We're out of here, guys, Thank you so much. If you have questions, please send him into Instagram, Lifeline Cut podcast put ask on cut at the top will keep you anonymous.

Yeah, give us your spicy questions and you know we'll do our best to answer them.

And you're accidentally unfiltered for asking cut follow ups after mass anything that you want us to know, please send them in.

Also, if you've enjoyed the episodes, jump on leave us a review, wherever you listen to your podcast and you know the drill.

Can I tell you something funny before we go?

Yeah, I'm cringing a bit of myself. What Like we said at the start of the episode, We've got loads of really nice messages yesterday, both to the podcast, to you, Laura and to me about different things about you and like what you're going through about me and the dress and funny stuff. I also got messages about you as well.

I got messages about.

The three of us and how we made people feel.

I was in day yeah, and it was wonderful.

I think across all platforms there would have been thousands of messages yesterday.

It was really really beautiful.

Well, I read one that was really and like, there's a part of me I'm so appreciative, Like when we get these messages, it's so good because you're like I feel so good that we're making you feel good.

You know what I mean?

Do you feel good? Do you like that?

But like this to beautiful.

Messages, but they're private and the dms anyway, I wrote back to one girl who wrote a really nice one, and I was like, oh my god, thank you so much. It's literally the nicest review to receive, and I was like, if you wouldn't mind write and.

Get public, can you write her if.

You want Apple podcast? And I told her because I was like, wow, we literally got like one hundred people write these beautiful things. And I was like, if only some of these were on the Oh, I agree, I asked. I was like, do you mind putting that? And I don't.

I should check if she's written back.

I don't know if she's guys, I agree, you guys are always writing really nice stuff to us publicly put it off the let me see if she's written, write it for everyone.

So it doesn't mean she double chapter.

That's it.

It doesn't count if the world can't see it, God damn.

It can This is what she just said. I love you guys so so much. I'm from California and my sister and I listen to you guys while we cook. Then later on we talk about all the podcast points.

Interestingly, I don't know if you know this, but the way Apple podcasts work, because we're based in Australia, you can't see international reviews. You can only see reviews that have been done with in Australia. But if you go on to like podhab or like whatever that keeps with them where you can check the reviews out.

That's where you can see all the international ones.

So I shot my shot with one person and it was the wrong person.

It was in California.

Yeah. Can I actually say we got a message last week and it was the most brilliant idea. And I've had friends say this about the podcast, but now we have a different medium.

To do it.

We got a message that said, my new Thursday night dinner with my partner is we come home, we put YouTube on and we watch the ask on questions and then we discuss our opinions on them. Perfect because the questions go up individually, so it's only like it can be from five to ten minutes, you know.

And so they watch it and then they discuss amongst themselves.

And my friends who do this have got such an insight into how their partner's mind thinks about different situations without them being in the scenario, Like without you having to have the argument or the situation happened to you, you get how your partner feels it.

Well, to take this back to the start of the episode.

What is happening now is now mounting a monstereer bleeding into the pod.

Let me take you back to the monsteria, No, to take this back to the start, to the sauna. What is happening? Which I love is now that I've known some of the people that go there, but they're all men basically.

But we will get into the.

Sauna and they'll say to us, what were the questions this week? Like what was a really good question because they saw some of them that went viral online. And so now we get in and I'm to the guys, I rehash a question from asking cart and then we talk about it.

In the sauna.

There's like five men sweating in their dickies that are talking about like if she should tell him she's cheating or not, Like it's but I love the fact that people are talking to each other about people's life problems and they're really trying to go through what they were doing themselves. So I think that that's everyone's been doing it.

We really self help generation, aren't we We do.

We like to know how each other are thinking and feeling, but we don't like to have to go through it ourselves.

It's like sipping tea on other people with.

Life drop anyway, Guys, you know the drill.

Tell your mom to dad, tell you don't tell your friends.

I needed to take a break before I did that.

And share the love to your mom tay, Dad, tell you don't tear friends, and share the love because we love love. H m hm