ASK UNCUT - Porn, poonamis and politicians - podcast episode cover

ASK UNCUT - Porn, poonamis and politicians

May 04, 202237 minSeason 3Ep. 42
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Episode description

Hey Lifers,

On today's ask uncut, we're jumping into some sexy deep, dark and burning questions and one of them is quite literally about some sexy parts burning a little...

Today we're tackling:

- Should every sexual act with a partner be reciprocated? As in if you get something, should you give something in return?

- Is it normal to have things from your previous relationship really trigger you in new ones? How can you stop it from ruining your new relationships?

-Every time I have sex with my partner, I feel sensitive, a little sore and sometimes itchy afterwards. I can't seem to make it stop. Any advice please!

-If you went on one date with someone and they just didn't message you for a month, but you had a good time on the initial date and now they've asked you to go on another... do you go?

If you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can send them into lifeuncutpodcast on instagram! We'd also love your follow ups if we've answered one of your questions before!


Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xx


See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander peoples today.

Speaker 2

This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hey guys, then, welcome back to another episode of Live Uncut. I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and this is our Thursday episode, our down and dirty, sexy Little Lumber where we answer your deck, dark and burning questions.

Speaker 1

Now, if Laura sounds a little bit sexy.

Speaker 2

I've still lost my voice.

Speaker 1

My voice is still gone, but that's because we don't stop talking.

Speaker 2

No, it's because Britney's been working me into the ground and won't let me take any records off. So that's why. So eventually we're going to be doing records and I'm going I'm gonna smell it has sound like I'm a ten packa day.

Speaker 1

Gal. Are you waving these two figures around?

Speaker 2

We are turn you on, Britney. No smell my fingers.

Speaker 1

I wish this was recorded her now.

Speaker 2

Also, I just want to tell you. Speaking of smell my fingers, let me tell you. Let me tell you how my day started. So I'm laying in bed this morning. It's five thirty and Lola, Lola, my beautiful little melon has she's really gotten to this new routine where she wakes up so freaking early, but she lies in her cot and then she talks to herself. So she's like laying It's cute. It's annoying because it's early, but it's cute.

Speaker 1

At least she's not in the hallway now.

Speaker 2

She's not screaming like she just wakes up and she's like la la lah, like smack it like she's it's like she's in jail where they go dig. She like gets her dummy and runs it along the rails of her.

Speaker 1

Cot waiting to be fed.

Speaker 2

So this morning she's in her cot, it's five thirty. She's chatting to herself until six am. And at six a' her I was like, okay, I'll get up, I'll go get her. So I get up. I opened the door. Let me tell you, had I had a match on me, I would have blown the fucking.

Speaker 1

Rum up and diary explode.

Speaker 2

She was like she had done it. This is a lot for the being of the episode. I'm gonna tell you, the mom's gonna enjoy this. She had done a pooh in her nappy, but not just in her nappy. She had somehow taken her nappy off inside her bond's onesie and she was just ruminating in it. Imagine doing a poo in a wet suit. It was like that.

Speaker 1

She was just rolling around in her No, I just can't this is that's not for me.

Speaker 2

You just have to put the whole baby in the bin.

Speaker 1

You do, hey, you start it all out?

Speaker 2

Go on?

Speaker 1

How does she not scream and cry rolling around in poop?

Speaker 2

Loved it? It was warm, Maybe it was soft, and that's what she was talking about.

Speaker 1

Maybe this sense of smell isn't what else Istlane.

Speaker 2

Would assume that they're not repulsed by their own stand Yeah, I would say that that's probably fine.

Speaker 1

I was rolling around in my own ship.

Speaker 2

I could tell you it's actually lucky that we don't have a bath where we I mean, not having a bath is a bit annoying when you've got kids. But we do have one of those showers now that have got like the handheld hose so I just have to get in there and hose it down like you would a car or something like you would on a farm or something. Yeah, like exactly, okay, would to a dog.

Speaker 1

I just threw that out because it's a segue into what I want to talk about.

Speaker 2

Well, I was going to say, what do you want to talk about?

Speaker 1

I talk about a farm in a really loose way. Bear with me, Laura, Laura. The look on Laura's face.

Speaker 2

Well, I was going to go into met galla because I was like, on one hand, I'm here ruminating in my child's pooh, and on the other hand, the most expensive, extravagant people in all of the US are going to the met galla.

Speaker 1

All right, Well we segued to the farm first.

Speaker 2

Okay, farm me, let's go cowgirl.

Speaker 1

You have to bear with me because I am just so shook at what I have read and how with everything that has ever happened in parliament around the world, how in twenty twenty two this is happening now. The reason you're probably thinking, how am I linking a farm, farmer and parliament?

Speaker 2

Do my child in the court doing a poo?

Speaker 1

Okay? Well, to talk about a British mp.

Speaker 2

One would call this a punundrum.

Speaker 1

This is a pnundrum.

Speaker 2

That was a good one, thank you. There's a British MP.

Speaker 1

That's in Boris Johnson's party and is this the UK? Yeah, in the UK, that's where British is. That's why I say miss that.

Speaker 2

I just heard you say, Boris Johnson. It's a British MP.

Speaker 1

Oh my god? Is this in England?

Speaker 2

Nothing gets past me?

Speaker 1

You're on fire today. There's a British MP in Boris Johnson's party and he's he's also a farmer, but he's an MP. So that that's the correlation here. He has just been caught. He's resigned because not once but twice in parliament he has been caught while they're waiting to vote watching porn in parliament. So like surrounded by people, the news would probably be there, like it's always, this is always televised. And he's sitting there watching porn. And

another female parliament member was next to him. She's looking at him, She's like, I'm literally and you watch porn, Like what are you doing?

Speaker 2

I might I understand once, I can, I can forgive once. Maybe he accidentally got there from like a rogue link or something. But how does it happen twice?

Speaker 1

Okay, well, I can tell you the first time, mister Parrish, a farmer, said the first time he had viewed the explicit material, it was when he had accidentally stumbled across it.

Speaker 2

All the time. I accidentally watched porn.

Speaker 1

Too whilst looking for tractors on a website with a similar name. And then he had watched it for a bit when I shouldn't have done that. Okay, so honest mistake. Pretend it was an honest mistake. You probably when you are making decisions for your country, you probably shouldn't be looking to buy a tractor.

Speaker 2

He was looking for a big digger, not what else you found.

Speaker 1

The second time, he just said, look I did on purpose. I shouldn't have done it. I got sprung. At the end of the day he's like, I did it deliberately. I'm embarrassed, and he's had to resign.

Speaker 2

For somebody to watch porn in parliament, they must really be watching it all the time.

Speaker 1

Can I tell you about the funniest part of this. He works for the conserv Party.

Speaker 2

Were shot five.

Speaker 1

The funniest part about the whole thing not that he's looking for a tractor, not that he accidentally watched porn, not that he deliberately watched porn, not that he did it next to a female parliament member, but that he was in the Conservative Party doing all this?

Speaker 2

Can I also say something I've always wondered. This is a bit off track, but it does have to do with porn. Whenever I've watched porn, I've always thought, why the fuck is there a share button at the bottom? Like, who am I going to share this? To share it on Facebook? Who is sharing porn with their friends and family on social media?

Speaker 1

But it's probably not okay, I'm gonna go as far as to say, it's probably not to share to your story.

Speaker 2

Well, it's like copy link share, Yeah, copy share now like you would a daily mail arted.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but it could be like, long, this is relationship. You both like masturbating and you want to watch the same porn. Or you're like, hey, jump on and watch this, so I watch it the same time. I mean, like, I'm just trying to give everyone the benefit of doubt. I don't think people are putting it to their stories and tweeting it.

Speaker 2

Well, I have to say that every single time I have watched porn, that is the thought that I have. I'm like, who would I share this?

Speaker 1

He can share with me next time.

Speaker 2

Have you ever sent me a fire nude? I think you have sent me a nude. You've sent me a nude and then asked me if it was a good nude for you to then send it to a guy.

Speaker 1

Actually, no, I remember one time. I wasn't sending it anywhere. I think I just took it because I thought I looked hot. And then I was like, hey, I looked I took a fie nude. Can I show you? And you were like, yeah, you look good.

Speaker 2

Hu, I don't know where to send it.

Speaker 1

I remember I was like, I.

Speaker 2

Wish I had someone to show. Are you even friends if you can't send your best friend a nude? Okay? The thing I wanted to talk to you guys about before we get into answering all your deep, dark and burning questions, is certainly not pornography. What I wanted to talk about is what everyone's talking about at the moment. It is what has absolutely clogged up your Instagram feed over the last couple of days, and that is the

Met Gala. Now, the reason why I wanted to talk about the Met Gala isn't because I wanted to talk about the ridiculous clothes, but it's because I realized on Tuesday, when I was looking at Instagram, I realized, I don't know what the fuck the MET Gala actually is for.

Speaker 1

I don't think you're alone.

Speaker 2

I don't think anyone knows what it's for. I think everyone knows it's for a charity some sorts, but nobody can actually tell you what is the purpose of it, apart from the fact that we all like, on one hand, we like to watch the fashion and on the second hand, we all like to get real dodgy and be like, oh my god, did you see what she was wearing. She looked ridiculous. So for anybody who doesn't know what the MET Gala actually is, this is your little life lesson.

Here we go. The MET Gala is held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, and the main purpose of the MET Gala is to raise funds for a charity however.

Speaker 1

That we love that we love a charity.

Speaker 2

When I thought it was a charity, I was like, Oh, cute, they're helping the homeless or maybe like their contu World.

Speaker 1

Famine, Yeah, world hunger.

Speaker 2

But no, the money that is raised from the Met Gala goes towards the museum's costume institution.

Speaker 1

So basically, yes, you heard that right.

Speaker 2

The museum has a huge collection of costumes, and the money that's raised via the Met Gala goes towards acquiring more costumes to go into the range. Which just so you know how this kind of works. You can buy a ticket to go to the Metcala, or you can't. I can't, we can't, but very very wealthy people from very expensive brands can.

Speaker 1

Well, even Chloe and Courtney Karashian have never been invited before this.

Speaker 2

Year, so you have to be invited to come first, and then you have to purchase the ticket. So the tickets are around forty four thousand dollars, that's forty four thousand US dollars. And often what will happen is that celebrities they don't actually have to buy the tickets at all because brands, big brands, will buy the tickets on their behalf and then they will dress them and that's how it works. But basically, an a Winter who is the editor in chief in Vogue. She is seventy two

years old, and a Winter is basically queen costume. She sits there and individually picks every single one of the five hundred people who goes to the metgala. She goes through and says, yes, this brand is allowed to dress this celebrity, and yes this celebrity is allowed to attend, and that is it. And it's raised over twenty million dollars for co costumes for the best costume box in the world.

Speaker 1

I mean, that's all well and good. It's like and a Winter. I just imagine her. She's like from the Hunger Games, like you get to live, you get to live, That's what it's like.

Speaker 2

Or she's the Oprah of fashion. I feel like you just merged Oprah and the Hunger Games together there and it got real weird. I did you get a cut?

Speaker 1

You get a cut, you get to live, you get to come, you get to dress up in stress of every and this is the thing, right. I think a lot of people don't know that, Like I know, I definitely didn't. I just used to always think, oh my god, they're raising so much money for something, it must be good, because there's no there's no way that we could fathom that they could be raising this much money. When the

world is in a crisis right now. We have to just think about what's happening in the Ukraine right now. Hunger that has been happening. This is not a new thing around the world. This has been happening for a very long time.

Speaker 2

Hunger is definitely not a new thing.

Speaker 1

No, it's not like we have been working. The world has been working towards trying to eradicate world hunger for a long time. But we're dropping off twenty million dollars and that's us. Let's just say that's you know, twenty five to thirty million dollars.

Speaker 2

Thirty million, it's straight.

Speaker 1

That is ludicrous. On costumes, no one's ever going to see them. The celebrities pretend to look at them. They walk inside and they pretend to look at them quickly, but they're there for their photo op.

Speaker 2

That's the thing. The clothes, the costumes then go into the museum, and then the general public pay money to go and see the costumes. So I think that there might be some money going into someone's pocket. That's just my speculation. No one see me. I'm just guessing. I really enjoyed this year's fashion because I'm a sucker for it, and also, can we just take a moment. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are my favorite couple in the entire.

Speaker 1

They're up on my screen now, she's by bar. She's exquisite and I don't use that word loosely or lightly. She is an exquisite human being. Her dress is exquisite. He is even more exquisite.

Speaker 2

I mean the men don't get a look in at the Met Gala, let's be fair.

Speaker 1

I mean, Ryan Reynolds always gets a look in. He's so beautiful. Though next to Blake Lively you don't get a look in.

Speaker 2

But anyway, guys, that is enough about the Met Gala. We hope that you learned something, because I certainly did. Let's get into the purpose of this episode, which is answering all of your You're deep, you dark, your burning questions. Question number one, Hey, girls, So I have a bit of a long standing question. Do you guys think that

every sexual act with a partner should be reciprocated? For context, I caught up with this guy over the weekend and he got really mad that after he went down on me, I didn't return the favor. I wasn't really into it, and him going down on me was spontaneous. I didn't ask him to do it. Now this has sparked a bit of an ethical debate amongst my friendship group, and I love your take on it. Oh fuck you, mad boy, go to anger management to go Oh, I mean my joy is on the ground.

Speaker 1

No, there is absolutely zero expectation that you have to do something ever, or that you have to do something because someone did it for you. So there should be no expectations here.

Speaker 2

I mean like it give generously in a relationship, but that doesn't mean that you have to give every It's not like for life. It's not if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Speaker 1

I actually that is such a big turn off for me. So when somebody says to me, like if I say to somebody if I'm dating them, if I was like, oh do you mind like rubbing my shoulder or something, got a really bad headache? Well, if you are, you gonna give me one back. If somebody says that to me, I'm out. I'm done. I people saying that they'll only do something if you do it in return. For me, there's like no big eternal I think.

Speaker 2

The next time that he says, well, if you're not going to do it for me, then I won't do it for you. Like the next time you have penetrative sex, tell him, well, I now have to do it to you. So here's my vibrator. Bendover and I'll stick this in your backside, Because if it's good for me and you're gonna do it to me, then I'm gonna do it to you.

Speaker 1

I think that's a bit extreme, but I also love that you the writer. I love that you've said it's not like I asked for it. He did it on his own accord, and that's absolutely true.

Speaker 2

But in all seriousness, even if you did ask for it, even if you did say, hey, go down on me whilst you're in the middle of a like a hot sexy makeout session and he does it, that is still not you consenting to saying yes. It means I'm going to do it back like you can. You can do whatever the fuck you want to. And also the part of this that makes me quite annoyed, And when I read this it was the reason why I wanted to

do this question. Nobody should ever get mad at you for not doing something when it comes to sex, and.

Speaker 1

If they do, just doing Finicia.

Speaker 2

It just reinforces that they are an absolute child in their views around sex, that the fact that he feels entitled to anything is problematic. And if this is a guy that you've just had a one night stand with, if this is a casual relationship, I would really be considering as to whether you would want to go and do anything with him again.

Speaker 1

Do you know what I remember? This has just sparked this memory right now.

Speaker 2

Oh glad, glad to bring up from the past.

Speaker 1

You bury your trauma and then this brings it up.

Speaker 2

He's Brittany going to the cupboard, taking that box of memories down, were filing through.

Speaker 1

It was a few years ago, like obviously, well before I was dating Jordan, when I was just on the dating scene, and I remember I had been seeing this guy and I hadn't slept with him, and he took me to dinner one night and we've been seeing each other for a little bit. But I you know, sometimes I don't want to sleep with people's that's what it is. I can date you, I.

Speaker 2

Mean it's rare, but every so often I don't want to do it.

Speaker 1

I can't date you for six months if I don't want to sleep with you. I'm not going to sleep with you good And I remember we'd been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, hadn't slept together, and then he took me to a nice dinner. He asked me to dinner. He paid because he asked me. I did my standard like oh, you know, like let's go hums and he's like, no, no, I'll get it. Fine, ticktoll the boxes. And then we went going home to watch a movie. He was like, do you want to watch

a movie? And I was like, not really a butt, Fine, whatever, watch movie.

Speaker 2

He tried to will Netflix, but there's gonna be zero chill, buddy.

Speaker 1

He tried to sleep with me and I said no, I said no, I don't want that. Like when he'd watch a movie, put my feet up on the ottoman, I'm like, don't touch me, like, let's just watch the movie. So he was like, oh, I thought that was cute. You know, He's like oh, he must have been like, oh, she's playing hard to get, but I was like fuck off. So he did. He stopped, and then he tried to sleep with me again, and I said, I already said I'm not going to sleep with you. This is a

hard no, and he said you owe me. That was his words, I quote you owe me? And I said, excuse me. I said what exactly do I owe you? And owe you for? And he said, we've been seeing each other for weeks and I just took you to a really nice dinner.

Speaker 2

You owe me.

Speaker 1

And I said, get the fuck out of my house.

Speaker 2

I'm not a fuck sex worker, which okay, no is zero judgment towards sex workers. But that's like a transactional that's a transactional relationship.

Speaker 1

He was trying to make it transactional. Yeah, and my.

Speaker 2

Jaw is on the fucking floor. Did you ever see him again?

Speaker 1

It was a guy from years ago, Meet Raffle the og life as will know Meet Raffle. No one knows Meat Raffle, but they'll know Meeat Raffle.

Speaker 2

There was okay, like Britt was dating this guy named Meet Raffle in the very beginning of this podcast, and then all of a sudden she was off Meat Raffle, And now we know where she was off Meet Raffle.

Speaker 1

But I just couldn't believe it, okay, And I mean this just comes full circle, right, long story shure as to get the fuck out. I'm not going to see you again because as I grow up, the fact that you think that this is a thing, no one ever owes you a thing. We had a full on fight and I kicked him out standard standard.

Speaker 2

Like it happens all the time. I kicked him out standard classic Brittay maneuver.

Speaker 1

No. But I just want to bring this back full circle because my point is the circumstances. The circumstances do not matter under no circumstances ever, whether you are in a long term relationship, whether you're new to dating, whether you really like someone, whether someone's done something to you. If you don't want to do something, you don't have to do it. Don't let anyone guilt you into feeling like you do.

Speaker 2

Amen, Amen's sister. Okay. The only extra thing I want to add to this is that there are loads of people in relationships who don't really like giving head, but they like getting head and their partners are fine with that. Like you, just because you don't like doing something doesn't mean that you don't like receiving it, and it does not make you selfish. It doesn't make you a selfish lover so long as you are being generous in other ways, and you are, like, you know, exploring and being whatever

it is in different ways satisfying your partner. Then I think it's absolutely fine. There are girls out there who do not like giving head. There are girls out there who like guys going down on them. And I don't think that anybody can sit here and say that just because something's done to you, you have to be okay with giving it back. And it makes me angry.

Speaker 1

Yeah, So anyway, the answer to that is no, don't feel bad, and you absolutely don't have to do anything, all right.

Speaker 2

Question number two, how do you deal with triggers from an old relationship in your new relationship? I was badly cheated on by an ex boyfriend girl same however, but I did the healing and I have had it in life. I have had an emotional growth from that relationship. I'm now in a new relationship and he is wonderful. He's kind, caring, smart, emotionally mature, and it's the easiest relationship I've ever been in.

We had our first sort of argument recently, and I realized that it mostly had to do with the trigger for me that I had for my past relationship. The trigger is canceled plans at the very last minute. Oh and that is because my ex did that whenever he was cheating on me. I completely lost it and got myself really anxious and worked up over a very very trivial thing because I know my new partner didn't mean to do it, and he apologized and said he would

do better next time. Now, my question is this, is there a way to deal with triggers from old relationships in your new relationships. I'm finding that my mind is my worst enemy at the moment.

Speaker 1

Feels girl feels. This is tough because it's so easy for somebody to sit back and say.

Speaker 2

Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1

Don't you can't take that shit into your relationship, leave it behind. But it's a whole the kettle of fish to actually leave that stuff behind. And you don't necessarily need to leave it behind, but you do need to find a way to move forward with it. And the reason I'm saying this is this question. The way you wrote that is like a trigger for me because that was my two year relationship with that sociopath. Episode three I did a sociopath for the new listeners.

Speaker 2

Very this is like we're going back Episode three, original of the first season. It's the og lefe one cutting. Yeah, haven't listened to it. We haven't recommended it for a while.

Speaker 1

Explains a lot about who I am and why I am what I am. But the big part of that relationship and I can't tell you how many times our plans were canceled last minute. And Laura, I don't even know if I've told you some of this, but I'm talking like I'm talking. I went to Hawaii alone because he canceled a trip to Hawaii last minute. I went to this is before I lived in Sydney. I came down to Sydney and climbed the fucking Harbor Bridge alone

because he canceled the trip last minute. I have gone and had to find an emergencyccommodation because he canceled stuff last minute. And he always said he always had very good excuse for it, but he was cheating. But now that once it all came out and I knew his partner because he had another partner that we connected. Once

I found out, we put all the timelines together. It was always things like we had a weekend planned, were on the way to meet each other, and she would surprise him last minute, so he would have to call me and say that this big traumatic event had happened and he can't make it. I'll pay for everything, I'll give you a really good time. I still go to

this dinner, I'll audio room service whatever. He always made sure I was looked after, But the number of times that happened, I can't tell you, Like I literally went on a romantic trip to Hawaii by myself, So this is very triggering for me. But moving into a new relationship, I mean, obviously we know that I battled that for a while. I was single for a while, But what I had to end up doing is just telling myself. I mean, besides a lot of therapy, you should definitely

speak to someone professional if you're struggling. But I just had to tell myself that my ex had already taken so much from me. He took so much of those years that I can't get back, and I don't regret them because I always take something from a situation. But I just say he took those years from me. He took the following few years as I was trying to

learn to deal with that and get over that. I'm not gonna let him take my future happiness or the possibility of future happiness if you can't trust, Like, trust is the basis of a relationship, so you have to be able to trust the person you're with. And at the end of the day, I just told myself that, Okay, I'm going to give this person the benefit of the doubt. I can't think that every person is like my ex.

If they do the wrong thing, that's on them, and I'll be okay, and I'll just move forward knowing that they're not the right person. But if you can't go into a relationship trusting that your partner is going to do the right thing, I just think you're probably in the wrong relationship and you need to do a little bit more work on yourself. It's okay to have insecurities and things like that. Have you communicated that to him?

Does he know why you feel upset at a last minute cancelation, because if he doesn't know, he probably doesn't even know he's triggering you.

Speaker 2

Yeah. And I guess on all of what brit said, I mean, I.

Speaker 1

Think very I did words like.

Speaker 2

The thing I think is a bit different is that I think it's okay that we take triggers from our past relationships. I think that it's probably unrealistic to think that nothing, that you're going to be this completely healed version of yourself and you're never going to get triggered. So I think have some compassion for yourself and just like, don't be so hard on yourself that yes, on this instant,

you acted a little bit crazy. But the thing is, and the thing that I think is the big takeoat message from this is be proud that you can identify that was a trigger. Be proud that you are saying, hey, I did something wrong here. It actually wasn't him, it was me. It takes a really big person to admit that you're wrong and to be able to say to your partner, I overreacted. It's an embarrassing thing to admit that when you've overreacted. So I think, don't be so

hard on yourself. And if you are listening to this, like anyone who's been in this situation who's kind of gone eight shit of their partner and then realized actually it was more on them than what it was on

their actual partner. Acknowledging that is a very very big step. Secondly, and I think it's what you said, Britt, just to kind of like elaborate on that little bit, being really open and honest with your partner, talking about what your insecurities are, why you have those insecurities, and just showing a level of vulnerability explaining where that comes from with your past relationship. Giving your partner that understanding will mean

that they will be more aware. I'd be more conscious because something that they he probably just thought, oh fuck, she's not gonna care. But now he understands that that sort of situation is something that you care a lot about.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and you don't want him walking away and being like, wow, well that was unnecessary.

Speaker 2

And it's managing his expectations and giving him an insight into what makes you tick. So I think that open channels, a conversation and just being kind to yourself that we aren't perfect. We aren't perfect people. We come to relationships with a bit of baggage sometimes from our past experiences, and that is okay, totally.

Speaker 1

I love that you said that it is one hundred percent okay because you're never going to walk away from a relationship no matter what happens. You might have an amazing relationship, you don't walk away the same person as when you entered that relationship, and that's just growth, evolution, human growth, like, it's part of growing up and living.

Speaker 2

Another thing I want to add always like and then one more there because.

Speaker 1

I think it's I think it's really important. But what I do want to add is just something to have a think about that you may or may not be doing. But a lot of people do. I know Laura's done it. I know I've done it. It's self sabotage when you don't think when you've been hurt in the past. Maybe you don't even know this. Maybe it's subconscious, but maybe you think that you're not worth love or the same you're telling yourself the same thing's going to happen again.

We have a really bad habit of sabotaging our own relationships before they can take off, because you're like, I'm gonna end this before you even have the chance to cheat on me. I did that multiple times because I thought, you know, it's safer, Oh, I think it's getting too close. It's safer for me to run now before anything can happen.

And it wasn't until I recognized I was doing that because everyone in my life pointed out I wasn't like recognized that with myself that I found any any way possible to move forward, And that was when I started to accept that we do change. Not everyone's the same, but I did have to have a very very deep level of self reflection there. So it's just something to quit yourself. Question number three, lot of like sexy questions to this.

Speaker 2

One has to do with the vagina, the vijajo. Actually it's not to do with the volva actually, and we did a bit of both.

Speaker 1

We did an episode on that. How many women experience some discomfort in the JJ after having sex regularly, like with a partner just say X number of times a week. I'm unsure if this is just me, if I'm very sensitive, or if me and my partner are just not sexually compatible normally. If we have sex several days in a row, I get very sensitive and very unbalanced, slash itchy. It's like I need a couple of days break every now and then. Anyway, hopefully get some answers to what other

people are experiencing. He he, he should put a laugh at the end.

Speaker 2

Okay, I read this and I was like, girlfriend, me too, and do you know what this is? And look, I could be wrong, but this is what I think it is. I think you got thrush. It's like super super super mild, Like there's no weird discharge, there's none of the things that like when you've got to all blown because everyone knows where they got full blown thrush. This is just like there's an imbalance there. And then every time you're getting down and dirty with a pin, it comes back

with a vengeance because you're adding more of that. You're adding all of his microflora to your microflora, and it's messing up the balance.

Speaker 1

And that's exactly what you've said. You said you feel unbalanced and itchy. That is I mean, like, we are not doctors, so put pop that in there.

Speaker 2

I was gonna say thank you for saying that, because I think that was an absolutely imperative fucking disclaimer.

Speaker 1

But it does sound very much like thrush, which, let me tell you, I don't think there's a woman in her life that gets through life unscathed. Everyone has thrush at some point, but some people get recurrent thrush. Some people are way more open to thrush, and they I have friends that get thrush every time they have Oh my god, they're constantly taking thrush. Travelers thresh cream they've got on hand.

Speaker 2

I think it depends on the period as well. I literally I went through a massive chunk of time there where literally anytime Matt even looked at me, I got thrushed and I was like, could you just stop get it away from me? But I think so for me when I went through this period, I think sometimes you think you've treated it and then it goes to being like very very bearable, like you can't notice it, but

the imbalance is still there. So I think, like, go and see a doctor, explain what your symptoms are, and then go and do a really thorough course of not just thrush treatment but also probiotics as well, just so that you can get back on top of things.

Speaker 1

Also, some people get it. Some people get it at your level, and they don't treat it because it's not bad enough. It's just like the smallest level of discomfort and they don't know what it is, so it's like bitchy. Yeah, so they're like a bitchy it'll go in a few days, so they don't actually treat it. So maybe you've been having this really low level but you've just never I mean, obviously you haven't been able to put a name to it because you're not sure and you're running to us.

It sounds very very much like thrush. Now, in case you don't know, it's really as simple as going if this is what it is, you can just go to your pharmacy and you can just say, hey, you need a thrush tablet, or you can get a cream for it. There's a lot of things you can do for it.

Speaker 2

But I would recommend that if you are, if you've had this for a long period of time at this level, go and speak to the pharmacists so that you're and you're not just trying to treat it yourself. Go and speak to the pharmacists for what the best option would be for something that's been a bit more long term. Also, why is it that we're so frightened to talk about thrush? Like no woman wants to have a conversation about it. We all think it's embarrassing. Every single one of us

gets it, like it is so freaking common. We'll talk about having a cold, but we won't talk about having thrush. And un seriously, I just think we've all been there.

Speaker 1

Okay, Well, I do want to tell you about one other thing. This is not what I mean. I don't think this is what you have. I'm just saying this because I think it's interesting. Did you know you can actually be allergic to a penis like a vagina can be allergic to a penis.

Speaker 2

Just any like all penises or just one penis.

Speaker 1

It's called it's just called genital allergy. It's not common. But what they say is like this sort of thing should be considered if you are having like a soreness or sort of other symptoms, irritation, but there's nothing really else presenting. Some people can be allergic to that person's penis. I don't think it's every dick. Oh my god.

Speaker 2

Imagine if you were in love with someone and you are sorry, my allergy to your penis is keeping us a bart.

Speaker 1

I know someone that was allergic to their partners in my husband semen semen. You can be allergic to semen. Yeah, a techtic.

Speaker 2

He's definitely not gonna do that.

Speaker 1

You don't have those. But also, if you've never been to a doctor before, go get it checked out, get some blood tests, ask him some questions, because you just never know.

Speaker 2

And the other thing as well as it could just be that you're having super vigorous sex, and you know there's too much chafing, not enough lube. All of those things can be contributing factors. But I think we need to have more conversations about the rush.

Speaker 1

But on a very serious note, I do want to be serious for a second. It's very important for every woman. This is your reminder too. If you haven't gone and had a sexual health check, or you haven't had your PAP smear, you haven't had all of these things in a little while. This is your reminder just to go and get it done. Because there are some things that happen that we don't know are happening to our body.

We know that sometimes we get lazy. Sometimes we're like, we forget that it's been two, three, four years since we've gone and had a check. So this is your reminder, all right.

Speaker 2

I have one more ask gun cut. I was talking to this guy for a month and then he decided to take me out on a date and we went for some drinks. It was a really nice time and I really enjoyed it. However, I felt a little bit confused and annoyed as afterwards I just didn't hear from him.

Speaker 1

Like at all.

Speaker 2

Now A whole month later on, he has messaged me like no time has passed at all. He just messaged me out of the blue and asked me if I wanted to have drinks. The thing is, I really did like him on this date and had a really great time. Do you think he actually likes me? Or do you think he's just interested in sleeping with me. I don't want to come off as easy or that i'd be the person to just stop everything at the drop of the hat and run back to going on a second

date with him. What should I do? Oh?

Speaker 1

Okay, this sounds like a classic case of tinder ironis.

Speaker 2

I think this is the ghost. This is the ghost that's been resurrected as a zombie and has come back to fucking haunt you.

Speaker 1

This just sounds all too familiar, and unfortunately there are a lot of people, women and men that this happens to. To get to the end quickly and answer your question, I think that yes, he is probably and I want to say this in the nicest way, but this is the impression of it. I think he's probably got nothing else going on. He's probably bored. Obviously, you had a good time. If he didn't go and call you. You said, you know, you didn't hear anything from him. That's because

he's not interested in anything more. A month later, he's got nothing going on. He's probably horny. He's like, well, we did have a good time. Maybe i'll hit her up. I'll see if she's around. I think that's what this is. Now. There's obviously no foolproof way to say it, but in my experience, which is pretty broad, but I think that that's what he's done. And I mean, like, we've all been there. I've been on that side too. I've been like, oh, this person.

Speaker 2

From you know, Britty there on a Saturday night, firing off a few fucking messages to guys from three years ago. I'm like, hey, remember have you been up to Betty? It's been three years. Ah, yeah, so it was stuff.

Speaker 1

Well your point is what so? But I think, seriously, I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you are also okay with that, if you are happy to go out and have some fun, you don't have to sleep with him. You can go and have another dinner with him for sure, maybe see if there is anything there. That's the way you're seen. If he's serious to date, you. If you do feel like you just want to have sex and sleep with someone, then that's also okay. But it's got to be okay with you.

So if you feel deep down like he has done the wrong thing and he's after one thing that you're not after, I wouldn't waste my time. If you know you're on different paths, don't go there. If you're like, fuck, I couldn't care less about this guy. Now, that would like here's what.

Speaker 2

Yeah, You've just got to ask.

Speaker 1

Yourself what you want and are you The biggest question is are you going to if you go and sleep with him? Are you going to feel bad the next day? Are you going to feel guilty like he's used you because you want more? Then don't do it totally.

Speaker 2

And if you think that you will feel bad if you never hear from him again, then I think you have to expect the worst because he's already proven that he is somebody who who doesn't feel it necessary to message after a date if it's not going the way that he expects it to go. Now, I think this is a really interesting one because we have spoken or

I have spoken about my feelings around what constitutes ghosting. Right, I think if you've gone on one date with someone and had a drink with them and there's been no spark and you've given no intention that you want to see them again. Like if you've said, oh I can't wait to take you out on a second date, then yes you should fucking text them. But if you've just been like this totally wasn't for me, and you've given them no intention, you don't have to send a follow

up or anything. I think you can just disappear into the never However, you can't then reappear a month later. Well you can, you can't got to know what it is you can. But the thing is, I feel like with this question, it would be so easy for Britain and I to take the high road and be like, oh my god, you deserve got a girlfriend. Do not write back to him. I think at this early stage, yeah,

there's a good chance that he's a player. But whatever, if you are just after something casual and you want to have fun, go do whatever it is that you want to do, but also be very very conscious that he is the guy who doesn't text back, So if you.

Speaker 1

Want him very well could disappear totally.

Speaker 2

He's a fucking castpar He's a zombie reincarnated. So if you want something that's more serious, if you're at that point in your life, then maybe he isn't the person to be investing time with. However, if you're after casual, if you're after fun, if you just want to go out and spend some good old time on a Saturday night, then mister zombie is your man.

Speaker 1

You can for sure use him for sex to It works two ways totally. I agree with what you said, Laura in terms of like, if you've gone on a date you don't and you don't like them, you don't necessarily have to text them. But where I disagree is if she has met, if they've been on one day and she's messaged him and he just didn't respond, that's fucking yeah. It's like that's where they should have written back and said, had oh you know, I did have fun,

but I don't see it going anywhere. Not this like complete disappearance and then reappearance when he's horning well.

Speaker 2

I mean, I guess it's that thing that we all, no matter what happens in life, we all seek some sort of closure, you know, we all want to kind of be able to go, Okay, cool, I'm gonna I'm gonna shut that book and I'm gonna go out and look for somebody else. I'm not going to kind of keep my options open there. And when you go someone or when someone goes to you, they're denying you of that closure. Regardless of how insignificant the meet up or the relationship was. You're kind of are left trying to

figure out, oh, did I say something wrong? Do they just not like me because I'm to this, this and this, Maybe they're seeing somebody else and that somebody else is better. Like you were, then left to kind of figure it out yourself. The answer we come up with that gives us closure isn't always the kindest answer to ourselves.

Speaker 1

Deep I like that.

Speaker 2

There we go.

Speaker 1

That's a good finish anyway.

Speaker 2

That is it from us, guys. I need to stop fucking recording so I can get my voice bat. We've just got so many interviews banked, and it was really unfortunate timing, Like We've got a lot of people lined up to talk to you, great people, and Laura's lost her voice at like a crucial time. But I hate it, I said, all my time, we do I sound like I've been deep throating some sand paper.

Speaker 1

Why would you ever do that?

Speaker 2

I think it was it the best night I had on Saturday night.

Speaker 1

I think he's sort of sexy.

Speaker 2

But that's it.

Speaker 1

Guys, keep your questions coming in. If you do have any questions you wants to answer Life on Cut podcasts on Instagram, just make sure you put ask oncut at the top.

Speaker 2

And if anyone wants me to start an OnlyFans account where I basically just read to you a sexy novel or something as though it's like a sex hotline, let me know it's started. To the dms. Maybe that can be my new calling.

Speaker 1

And also, if you do have an ask Uncut update with Burke, we're calling them the Ask Uncut Aftermath. We want to hear that too. If we've ever answered your question ever over the last two years, right back to us, maybe remind us of what the question was if it's not in the DM thread, and then give us an update because we love hearing that. You guys absolutely loved when we did that, and we do want to sporadically

pop those episodes out. Joined the Facebook group Life on Cut Podcast Discussion Group and Tea Mum Tea dad, tell you dog, tell your friends, and share the love because we love love

Speaker 2

The garabaya kabaa baba

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