ASK UNCUT - Peg him like a Queen

It is out, down and dirty, little ask uncut episode where we answer we're deep, dark and burning questions and Brittany, okay, we spoke about the whole Tuesday beginning intro chat on Tuesday's episode was around moving house. Now, britt has just spent her entire day today moving house. So this is nine pm. We are recording at nine pm. I have been moving since seven am this morning. It has been

a very very very big day. But also we committed to the course, like we're never going to I shouldn't say we're never going to miss an episode because we're literally going to miss an episode next week. No, we haven't missed an episode in a year. We really try not to miss anything. So I am absolutely exhausted Laura's been moving all week, but we wanted to get it done. So I've left my house. It is still not unpacked whatsoever. I've left my cute little Delilah at home manning the fort.

But we did speak about the fact that I was moving. Wait, when you say you left your house, are we going to tell the people whose house you actually did leave? Well, yes, I I have moved into Laura's house. Funnily enough, so when we record a Tuesday's episode, britt was like, I don't want everyone to know that I'm now living in your old apartment. She was like, I just I don't want the paps to know. Like, can we just not address it on the podcast? Can we just say that

we're both moving at the same time? And I was like, yeah, sure, we can lie to the people whatever whatever makes you happy. Daily Mail just outed Brittany about ten minutes ago, saying, Brittany Hockley moving in to best friend and co host Laura Burn's old house. So yeah, we just literally did. They're like house swap best friend house swap, which essentially it is. I just didn't settle apartments. I didn't even

see them there. I wasn't looking my best was like Brittie's all she was carrying was a plant, like a tiny little pop plan. Every there was these two burly like removalists moving everything else, and there's like, oh, it's so hard moving with my pop plan. That's so funny. I've got one, literally you have to look it up. I've got the Tinese pop plant ever. But that plant, have a look, it's driving. It's really it's like one of those long vine plants, you know, the ones that

like it's because they're a weed. It's a poison ivy. They're a weed, and they literally you can keep them alive. You could never water them. They could be in the middle of the Hara desert and then you give them one drop of water and they're like, ha ha, why don't you knocking down when I'm on a high? Laura. I also really loved that you were like, I have been moving all day. I am so exhausted. And then the true like the photo evidence came out, which is

you carrying a plan. You know that. I mean it looks really and then one blanket it looks really funny, but you have to remember that you see what the perhaps want you to see. There were a lot of heavy lifting. There's a lot of box carrying. It was a very big day. But anyway, they've added me. I moved into Laura's house. But it was just a really really perfect swap. Laura obviously had a big house than mine.

She had room for her dog Buster. It was really really I needed an office for the life on Cut, we needed space for Delilah. And I'm also a creature to have it and I hate change. So now anytime that I'm feeling like a little bit of a ditch in back, back bridges comes out of the lounge and I'm just there on the couch like it doesn't feel the same. But yeah, basically I'll be spending all my free time at BRIT's house now. So fine, so fine.

Something funny did happen to be moving actually, and it's not on par anywhere You're on par with your vibrator story, Laura, But can we just make sure that that's crystal clear it's a theragun story. It wasn't a vibrator story. But I was like busy doing my own stuff in other rooms while these two big burly men were moving around doing their own stuff. And once they moved the last thing they moved was the washing machine out. They moved

it out, so the whole house was empty. I go in just to do one more sweep, and I can see three pairs of like the laciest laciest, sexiest white underwear that have obviously at some stage fallen behind the back of the washing machine in the throes of passion. Now they weren't clean underwear. They were like, Oh, I don't know, they've probably been there for a year. I don't know how long they've been there. I think they've fallen out of washing basket. So these men of one

hundred percent looked at them. I hope they didn't touch them, and I hope they just walk back at your crunchy yellow lundies. No, they were white. They were sexy, lazy ones. But I don't know it was worse. I don't know if I should have had my bridge at Jones's there or my sexy ones. What would I prefer. I think I'd prefer removalst to see like my bones undies that like, Okay,

I have sexy undies anyway. Thank you to every single person who has written in a question for this week's We've picked out three goodies today but before we get into answering your questions, we wanted to talk about something that's pretty remarkable and special and just gives you all the feels that has gone down in the Facebook group

over the last couple of days and also across social media. Now, if you are a member of the Facebook group, you might be familiar with a post from Jamie Warnett which was in regards to you. So, Jamie is a she's a property manager. She is a real estate agent, and she works on rentals in the Gold Coast, and she posted about one of her eighty year old tenants who'd been living in a property for a really long time, and unfortunately the owners of that property were wanting him

to move out. Apparently he'd been paying like far below what is the standard rental rate for that place because he'd been there for so long. Yeah, I don't think it was a matter of them kicking him out. It actually sounds like the owners of the property've been doing him a solid favor for a long time, and I guess it got to the point where at the end of the day, I guess people have mortgages to pay. And that's the impression I get of what went down totally and there was no pain like the owners of

this place, as like the villains in the story. But at the end of the day, there was an eighty year old man named Dennis who had nowhere to move to. He had no help, no support, no one to pack boxes, no one to move maybe week by week on the pension. Yeah, literally no money to be able to support himself, not only just into a move, but to be able to

pay rent. Following up and Jamie, out of the absolute goodness of her own heart, she put out the post on the Life on Cut community and she was like, I feel like I need to do something for this man. As the property manager, She's like, I feel like I need to help him. And the Life on Cut group was like, why don't you start a GoFundMe. So Jamie went and created a GoFundMe page and she put it out to the Life on Cut group. We shared it throughout socials as well, and at the time of recording this,

that GoFundMe page had amassed thirty five thousand dollars. Now the year pension is only twenty five thousand. So I wanted to share that with you all because I just am so fucking proud of the life on cut community. It's so amazing to see social media be used for good, to help somebody out. And yeah, thank you to every single person who jumped on board, who donated and who

knows the story. Well, it's actually nearly at forty thousand dollars, Laura, Yeah, there's one point six thousand people have donated, which is incredible. And Celeste Barber, somehow this made it to Celeste Barber. Celeste Barber throw in a few grand It's been absolutely incredible And at the end of the day, I am just so proud, like Laura just said, the community. And I don't want to say that we've created because we haven't created the community that you guys have created yourself.

Just on the back of the podcast the fa like we've literally done nothing. We just gave you guys a space to do it, and you are all, every single one of you. Every day I say to Laura, I just can't believe how positive this group is. I can't believe how supportive this group is. It is so amazing, and I know there are so many other groups out there that haven't been as lucky or haven't had as

much of a supportive group. But you guys just fucking the best people, and we're so stoked and you should all be so stoked what you've done this time and in the past, and I'm sure we're going to do in the future again. I'm just I'm so grateful for you guys. And that's like, I go on forever. I'm gonna stop. But I was crying. I was really upset, I was really happy. There are a lot of emotions, and I'm just super proud of everything. You're gonna cry again.

I just want to say one more thing. I'm also so tired. I'm probably like and I got my period. And I did speak to Jamie today and she said that Dennis was at home. He was packing and he was supposed to move out on Monday, but because he didn't have any help or any support, Like he's eighty, the guy can't pack boxes and move him down the stairs. I know how hard. I'll just called you, bro, Well, who am I I'm so tired. I'm like bro, I today like I'm a young, healthy woman and it is

really hard. It is exhausting. Dennis cannot pack a house up on his own. He's eighty, totally and trying to do that on your own without any support is just such an insurmountable task. And so I spoke to Jamie today and she said she called Dennis and was like, whatever you're doing, stop doing it. He was like, I'm packing. She was like, stop packing and come down to the agency.

And she told him at that point in time how much money they had raised, and like, like we said, this is truly life changing stuff and we're just so proud of the community of you guys. You guys aren't a part of the discussion group. This is the stuff you're missing out on. But go on there and join it. There is a photo of Dennis when Jamie told him how much money was raised and that he was going

to be okay. And if that photo doesn't bring tears to your eyes and make you want to burst with happiness, I don't know what will. He is just ecstatic. He bless his soul. When Jamie said to him, look, I'm gonna try and get some money together for you. We're gonna you know, we're gonna sort you out. I'm gonna raise some money. He thought it was just gonna be

a local sausage sizzle. He had no idea. He thought he was gonna make like a hundred bucks from a sash dicissors, so he did know that power of life that my whole body. I'm just like, fuck, yes, you guys are such legends. Anyway, I can talk about this for a long time, So let's move it along. Let's get into question number one. Hi, ladies, my boyfriend and I are in our mid twenties and we have been

dating for eighteen months. Recently, we've been experimenting with toys in the bedroom and he has been using things like butt plugs and stimulators. Yesterday, he asked me if we could get a dildo and if we could use it on him. He plans to also use this by himself. My anxiety has taken over my brain and I'm worried that if he wants to use these things, then maybe he might be gay. What if he enjoys them more

than he enjoys sex with me. I know I'm being silly, but I don't know how to get that thought out of my mind. I told him I was nervous about the new ones, but I didn't say why I was nervous. I just said that new things make me nervous, and he took it relatively well, then reminded me that introducing toys was my idea in the first place. Am I being completely unreasonable and worrying for nothing? Help? Yes? Yes you are, Yes you are. And also like I read

this and I was a bit in shock. Just because a guy enjoys some sort of penetration, whether it is a finger, a dildo, whatever else, has nothing thing to do with his sexuality. No men have a g spot up there. Some men just like it does not mean that they are gay. If they form deep connections for a male and identify as gay, that makes them gay.

But just because your boyfriend enjoys a deal to up his butthole, the thought that that is all that it constitutes to make someone gay is not only wildly inaccurate, it's also pretty offensive. Having said that, also, you just need to have a conversation with him if you actually, I mean you introduce these toys so he's reminded you of that. That is absolutely fine. I think it's brilliant.

If you feel uncomfortable with it, tell him say I would want to use it on you first, Like, let's do this as a couple instead of him going away and using it on his own. I probably wouldn't want my partner to do that either. I want to say, well, I just think at the start, if you've introduced a new toy because you were trying to spice up your sex life together, then you do it together. It's not spicing up her sex life to know that he's going

to do it on his own. But also, like I mean, he can do whatever the fuck he wants to on his own. If he wants to stick a dildo on his ass, go for it. He doesn't need her permission to do that. Of course he doesn't, But that's not the question here. The question is, she says, I feel uncomfortable. What do I do? So first of all, you say, hey, let's use this together. You can't tell him not to use it. He's a man that can do whatever he wants.

But I think you could introduce it into your sex life together, have a conversation, have a playful play and if he wants to go and use on his own, because that is how he masturbates and that is how he seeks pleasure, that's so okay totally. I just guess I think it's a hard one because I don't I almost think Normally we say, go communicate, talk about your feelings. I almost think in this one, you don't need to communicate that this is your reservation because the reservation is

completely unfounded. Like if your reservation about him using a dialdo is that you're worried that he's gay, like that doesn't need to be communicated. Maybe you may choose to communicate that he may also be really offended that that's where your mind has gone to. Have you ever had a guy ask you to peg them? Never? No, once in my existence. Yeah, I've never done it, but I've had several guys ask me to wear a strap on and peg them. Well, there you go. It's obviously very common.

I think it's more common than what we give it

credit for. Even guys like a finger in the ask if he wants to use a dildo, it's not going to affect you, like it doesn't change, and even if he wants to use it on your own, I think it would be a very different story if you were to turn around and you were to say, oh, I've bought this sex toy for myself, and your partner was to say, I don't want you to use that when I'm not around it's kind of like very self limiting, like why can't you use a sex toy when your

partner's not around? Like, you are in charge of your own sexuality. You're in charge of your own sexual experiences as well, so long as it's not affecting your relationships, so long as you're still having a sexy health life when you're together, you're entitled to masturbate and whatever you need to do to get off. Fine. Yeah, the only thing I'm going to disagree with you on, Laura is I'm still and always will be an advocate for communication.

I still think that you are absolutely entitled to have this conversation with him. And when I say this conversation, I don't mean you don't conversay to him, Oh you want to use this on your owner you're gay. I just mean if you're uncomfortable with something or you're curious about something, you just ask your partner. You say, how come you want to do that on your own? Don't you want to do that with me? Like that's a simple question to me. That shouldn't be divisive and that

shouldn't be giving you anxiety to have that conversation. Like if you are close enough that you're putting butt plugs with your partner. You're close enough to say, hey, what is it about that that you want to do on your own and not with me? But just be understanding and open to his response, that's all. But I mean his response is just going to be it feels good. The other thing is every relationship and every person is different.

There are plenty of people that don't like their partners watching porn, that feel uncomfortable with their partners masturbating without them because they think, why don't you want to have sex with me? Everybody's relationship is different. I couldn't care less if my partner watch porn for me personally, doesn't bother me. For other people that I know, they don't like it when their partner watches porn, they feel like it's like this borderline in appropriateness. Okay, I feel like

porn is a slightly different thing. I can understand why porn is polarizing for some people because it's in reducing another person into your sexual relationship. How would you feel if a boyfriend said to you, you're not allowed to masturbate without me, Like, what would you do? I would not be okay with somebody's face exactly right. I mean, you can't, and that's not what she's saying. She doesn't want to say to him you can't do it. She just wants to say, I feel uncomfortable with it. What

do I do? So all, I just think every situation in the whole world, you just communicate it. You just ask him, you talk about it. You might not get the answer you want, he's going to go and still masturbate, but at least you know you've said your feelings, you've gotten an answer, maybe you understand more, and maybe his explanation is going to make you feel a little bit more comfortable. I agree with you that you can communicate

and should communicate about everything in your relationship. But I just so strongly come back to this thing that, like, this issue has nothing to do with her partner. It has to do with her perception around sexuality and what

constitutes being gay. And I think that there is like, and I don't want to say it's homer phobic, because I don't want to like lash out at somebody I don't know, but I think that there is some homophobia in the fear that just because a guy wants to have something in his butthole, it must make him gay, and I just don't like that that's where her mind has gone, because obviously he's in a very committed relationship. He just enjoys experimenting in the bedroom and shouldn't feel

shame or guilt around that either. And that's why I feel passionately about, like, be careful how you bring this up in your conversation, because it could come out as an accusation rather than a conversation. All right, moving on, all that was like very I feel like that one was like, I mean, we agree's divisive that one? Do we think it's divisive? Though? Device how do you think? Like, fuck it, do what you want and I take it in your ass go there and I think, cool, he

can do that. Have the conversation because you feel anxious about it, Okay, But what happens, this is my question, is what happens if she says I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to pleasure yourself without me. What is he supposed to do? I'm always going to masturbate without you. That's a conversation they need to have. That's a conversation between them, and then they might have it out but that's not our that's not our problem. Tell us how it goes, Tell how it goes.

But I bet you're gonna have some great butt play. Yes, Oh my god, enjoy I lean into it. Had the time of your life girlfriend? All right? Question number two. So this one came in the other week, and I think this is an interesting one, but I'm going to paraphrase it. Hi, guys, I've been broken up with my ex boyfriend now for around six months. It was a pretty toxic relationship and it really took me a long time to get over it. I'm not even sure if

I'm completely over it yet, to be honest. Anyway, fast forward, I just found out that whilst we were dating, he was cheating on me, and he'd been cheating on me with a girl for a couple of months. Should I contact him? Should I tell him that I know? I feel so angry that I didn't know about this when we were dating, because it explains a lot. Should I reach out to him now? Dan? Dun dun no? No. I mean that's a funny statement. I feel so angry

that I didn't know when we're dating. If you knew when you were dating, you'd probably the relationship would have ended that anyway, I would hope. Well, I think that's probably the point, right. It's feeling lied to, and you know, breakups,

that's what chain is. But yeah, but I bet I'm coming home and be like, I babe, you no. But I guess, like when you're going through a breakup, and like, there's obviously multiple reasons why their relationship breaks down if someone's not being transparent, and part of the relationship breakdown is actually that they're cheated, Like they were cheating, So all the other excuses that they maybe had or that he had, saying like well, this is why we're breaking

up and this is what you've done, kind of become obsolete if he was cheating and she didn't know about it, do you know what I mean? Like, I understand where the hurt comes from, and I understand it because I've definitely lived this experience before. But do I think it's worth going and now like once again opening up those wounds, recontacting him, especially if you're in a no contact situation,

just to get the last say. I think it's really unhealthy. Okay, I am sitting completely on the fence, like the fence is up my butt. That is how on the fence I am. I'm sitting there. I don't know we penetrated by the way. I'm penetrated by that. I do not know which way to roll. But I'm going to tell you what would happen in my line impaled on the fence. Now if I rolled either way, I'm going to talk you through it. Okay, I can see both sides. My initial response to this, I just wanted to jump up

and say, no, absolutely not. What is the point? What are you going to get from messaging him? It's six months ago, he's done the wrong thing. I'm hoping you've moved on. I'm hoping he's moved on. I'm hoping you're not hurt, and I'm hoping that you look back and say what a fuck with? But you're big enough and okay enough to leave it. It's not going to bring you anything, That is what I want to first say.

Or is it just going to bring you more torment into your life and it's going to upset you more? Is it going to take you back to a place that you don't really want to be? But then there's the other part of me. If I roll on to the other side of the fence. I tried to put my in this position now and think, Okay, if I found out that Jordan or a partner in the past had cheated on me, would I want to say something to them? And there is a small part of me

that would there's a small part of me. But it wouldn't be to ask questions, and it wouldn't be to have a go. It wouldn't be to start an argument, because that's just so much toxicity and negativity that you just don't need. But what I would do wouldn't be to be petty and have the last word like, hey, you found out about Sarah Prick. Yeah, but it wouldn't be that. Like the way that I approach things in life,

I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't be getting agressive and angry, and my literal message would be just say I knew who it was, Just say it was Sarah, her name was Sarah. My message would probably just be like, wow, Sarah, really, okay, that's right. So you won't get like aggressive, but you'll get passive. You keep that shit passive, bottom line, babe. Okay. Do you know what though, I think that sometimes let me do the power of the message wow, Sarah really

exclamation mark, question mark, exclamation mark. I could be a dot dot door. I don't know. You know, three dots, I don't know which one. Do you do a lull at the end, like loser loko? No? Okay. My thing is, though, I think that sometimes we can sit here and behind mighty and say, like, you shouldn't do this, take like the high road. Obviously, it would be great if we were all perfect all the time and always took the high road. Sometimes it's nice to have the last say.

Sometimes it feels good to be like, hey, guess what I found out about it and fuck you? Like sometimes that feels there's a little bit of like I knew that that was the case. I knew that there was something wrong, and I knew that I didn't have the full truth, and now that I had that piece of the puzzle, it all clicks, and guess what I want you to know that I got that piece of the puzzle. I really hope that by finding out that he was doing this whilst you're in a relationship together, that it

brings you more closure, not more torment. I think that's the biggest thing, because I really hope that you can look back on your relationship and go wow, like there were so many more things about it that was wrong that I was trying to hold onto without having like a clear, bigger picture. And whether you do send a text message just to be like hey, wow, really cool, I know about it and then move on. The thing they think you definitely shouldn't do is don't open up

a conversation around it. Don't allow for him to explain

his actions. Don't allow for any sort of like back and forth on this topic because it truly won't get you anywhere, and all it will do will undo the wounds that you've already started to heal, and at six months, they may not be completely healed, Like you may still be in that phase where you're like some days you're great, some weeks you're great, and then you might still have some really sad moments around losing the relationship and missing

the relationship. Yeah, you don't open the conversation. The really at the end of my text is rhetorical. Hopefully hopefully he gets that. It's like rhetorical. We don't want to respond, But I agree with what Laura said. Sometimes it is nice to be like, hey, you know what here it is I know. But the reason that I say don't get aggressive and don't get angry is because you don't want to show him that it's bothering you. You don't want to show him that you care, and then you're

upset by it. That text says, hey, I know, can't believe you would do that, but I don't really give a fuck anymore. So good rottenness too. That's what it is. Without being aggressive, you're being the bigger person. But there's a little dig in there, and I think that's okay if it's going to make you feel better. If you're then going to sit by the phone and watch your text and look for his name to light up to see his response, don't do it. Just don't even engage.

And also I think the other big thing about this is like you in your head might feel like you're getting the last word. Like if you send that text, if you have that little dig, you might feel like you're getting the last word. He might not care at all, Like after six months after a broken down relation on you, he probably doesn't care. He might not care, and he might get that and be like, oh, you know what, she's still thinking she cares enough that she bothered texting me.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm on the other side of the fence. I think if you have the self control, don't text. Take that information, use it to better, like kind of heal your trauma, walk away from this relationship going wow. That is the absolute nail in the coffin that I needed to be able to go that relationship wasn't right for me. I would say, don't send the text, don't open the conversation because it could just open a Pandora's box. And don't underestimate the

power of silence. I left a silent gap there on purpose. I feel like we've answered that. I feel like so many people would have experienced this at different times in their relationships, like where they have broken up and then they find out something and they feel like, Okay, I want to reach out to him, just to let him know that I know, so that he doesn't think I've

been fooled by his actions or her actions. You know, it's not gender specific, but I think it's always better if you can and you have the self control take the high road. All right, let's get on to the next question. Number three. Hey, girls, I have been dating my boyfriend for one year now, and things have always been really great. I'm going into my final year of UNI, and when I graduate, I really want to move to

a rural area for my first job. Yesterday, my boyfriend, who is about to start an apprenticeship, told me that when I move, he will find work wherever I want to go so that we can go and live together. Now, I should be overjoyed by this, right The problem is that the second he told me this, I felt my stomach drop and I haven't been able to shake this weird, sinking feeling ever since. I don't want to break up

with him, but I'm scared. He's my first boyfriend, and it worries me that I'm committing myself to something so long term and possibly to this guy being my forever person. I love him so much. I don't want to break up with him, but I'm not sure what to do. Should I wait it out and see how things go over the coming months, or is this deep sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach a sign that the relationship is not right for me? Not knowing, I think

this is a relatively easy one. Essentially, I'm going to summarize this your feelings are You've been in a relationship for only a year, and I say only because you're young. You're just about to finish UNI, and a year is for the rest of your life. A year is relatively a small amount of time. You love him, you don't want to break up with him, but you know you want to move away, but you don't want to live

with him. So that's where we're at. You're in love, you've been together for a year, you want to move you don't want to end it with him, but you don't want to live with him. Does not wanting to live with him equate to not wanting to be in a relationship. Absolutely not. Those two can live side by side. You can be head over heels in love with someone in a really beautiful relationship that could go on for

a long time, and still not want to live with them. Yet, you could still want your independence, You could still want to go and live. You're fresh out of UNI, you might want to get a housemate, you might want to be a bit independent, live on your own for a little while. That doesn't mean you can't have a relationship, and that doesn't mean you have to end it. If the sinking feeling that you're getting is because you can't imagine a life with your partner, or you just feel

like it's too much too soon. That is just a conversation. You can definitely say to him, Hey, this is moving a bit fast for me, Like what if we try long distance for a little while. What if we try visiting each other. Maybe he could move to the town with you, but live in his own place. There are a lot of options. It doesn't have to be far out. I'm freaking out. I don't want to live with him, it's over, I think. Don't pull the trigger too soon. Yeah,

I mean. It is always awkward though, when one partner says like, oh, I'm ready to make the big commitment, or especially when there's a move involved, like I'm ready to move in, or I'll make myself available so that we can kind of progress our life in a certain way, and the other person's like, oh, I'm not ready yet.

Like it's an awkward conversation to have. There's a feeling there of like a mismatch, and there is a good chance that his feelings will be hurt when you say I don't want you to come with me, or I don't want to live together, like there will probably be a little bit of his ego that will be bruised. I think it really comes down to explaining the why behind it, So like figuring out why is it because you're not ready? Is it because you want the freedom?

Like what is the why and that, and that'll kind of give the indication as to whether it's because it's relationship based or it's you know, to do with you personally and what it is that you're kind of after at this point in life. I think for me, if I'd been with someone for a year, even if I'm young, and they were moving away and they said I don't want you to come with me, I would really struggle

with that. I would really struggle with the rejection that came with that, especially if I didn't have anything that was tying me to the place that I was in and I felt like we were moving in the same direction together. Like if I thought, hey, we're ready to move in together, we're ready to kind of like make this a thing, and then they were like, I'm going to go and move to another state and I don't want you to come with me, I would definitely see

that as a pretty big rejection. Funny, you should say that funny should say that I did that. I one hundred percent did that. And I think this is very dependent on the person that you are I was with. If you're new to life, unkind, I've told this story over the years, but I haven't told him a very, very long time. But I was with my first partner for eight years. That's a long time and I was very young. But I was with him for three years.

We were inseparable for three years, and then I said to him, with not a lot of notice, probably a month to six weeks, Hey, I've decided I'm going to move to Italy alone. I want an adventure, and in the nicest way possible, I don't want you to come, I want you to visit. I want to stay together. I didn't want to end it. I had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me, my growth. What I was feeling. I was feeling trapped and suffocated. I was feeling like there was a whole

world out there that I wanted to see. I was feeling like from a very young age, I was reliant on another person. He was older than me and I was young, so I never really had that independence, and deep down that's what I wanted. So I was just really open with him. It wasn't like this is what's happening or not. I said, look, I really want to do this, and it doesn't mean I don't want to be with you. Can we try and do a year long distance? You can come over? And he did so.

He was really supportive. He was really upset. He's like, do I want to be away from you know? Do I want to lose you know? Do I want you to be happy? Yes? So we both did that. We had a year apart. I went, he came over in the summer European summer, and we did probably like five six weeks around Europe. It was amazing. We were both completely faithful to each other because it wasn't about that, and that was what kickstarted a whole different journey for me.

When I came back. We still stayed together for four more years. It didn't make me want to come back and end it and move on. It was just something I needed to do for my own personal growth. So I guess because I've lived to this experience, I'm very encouraging of it and I know that it can work as long as there's complete honesty and transparency. You've got to do what's right for you. At the end of the day, you have to be respectful of your partner.

Of course you have to talk to them about your feelings. But at the end of the day, you get one life. And if there is something in the pit of your stomach, and we always say this, if there's a feeling, if your body is telling you something, you have to listen to it. I cannot stress that enough. That was a big story. But I feel this girl. I feel this girl in my bins totally and I get it, and I do one hundred percent think like you have to do what's right for you, does that mean that that

is then right for your partner. I think your situation, brit is incredibly unique, and I think it takes a very committed, very loyal Your boyfriend was so fucking in love with you that he was like, my fear of losing you surpasses what I want for myself. Right now, we'll both equally in love. It was incredible. We were

obsessed with each other for eight years. I guess my thing here is is like, you can make decisions that are best for yourself, but you can't always expect that somebody else who's in a relationship with you will subscribe

to what you want, and maybe they won't. Maybe they'll say, hey, do you know what I feel like you're moving away and you're not wanting me there, and you're pushing me away physically because you want this independent time doesn't fit with what I want, Like, I want someone who wants to be with me in a way that's very physical and wants me physically in the same suburb fucking house

as them. You know. I think it comes down to a factor of like priorities, but also figuring out whether your life is aligned and sometimes sometimes the right person the wrong time is actually just the wrong person. Like some people will be able to make this work and other people just won't. That's the determining factor. Yeah, you have to be aware that exactly what Laura said, You have to be aware that his reaction, their reaction, her reaction is not going to be or may not be

what you want totally. That's something that's a risk you've got to take that I think your best bed in this situation and anyone that's listening that's in a similar situation and not just about living but just about maybe you're scared to say something to your partner that you wanted to do something different, you want to try something new, you want to go down a different path. The best thing you can do is have a really open conversation.

So all you need to say to him is, Hey, I don't know about if I'm ready to live together yet. I absolutely don't want to lose you, but like, what are our options? Would you consider moving to the town with me, but getting your own place and we just keep dating because there is a lot of romance be kept alive in dating. Things change. When you move together. It can be beautiful, but when you live together, it definitely changes. What do you mean You're sitting next to

a paddle that Matt just bought. There's literally like a spanking paddle right there. There is a sex paddle next to me. I'm sitting on the floor and Matt brought this for a skit. It's got nothing to do with me. So just have the conversation and say, hey, what are our options. Can we move to the town together and live separately? Would you be okay to not move to the town and we see each other every second weekend

and have a long distance relationship. Just put some options out there, engage where he's at and what he's thinking, because you're not going to know unless you talk to him about it. He's going to ask you why. You just be really honest. It's literally all you can do because if you're not honest, it will come out later and all cause problems down the track totally. And I think at the end of the day, like you've got to make decisions for yourself that aren't based in the

fear around what somebody else is going to do. Like, you make the decision, and you explain the why, and you explain the why around your decision so that the communication channels are open. But if at the end of the day he's like, hey, this doesn't work for me, you can't change that. You know, you can't force someone into doing the things that you want and living on your terms if it's not how they want their relationship to be either. I think that's it from us today. Life.

I'm God, Oh here we are anyway, guys, that is it from us. We will be back next Tuesday with another meaty episode, but we're taking next Thursday off because we're going to Queensland. Guys. We are going to Queensland. We do have work up there. We've got to do some stuff with the radio, and then we're going to have a few days break. Well. The reason why we're doing it is because I missed out on Christmas, so we're going to see Matt's mom. We're blaming vid. I

got COVID of Christmas. I missed, you know, I missed having a holiday. So we are going up there to see Matt's mom for her seventieth birthday. So yeah, I'm gonna get on the ones and I am going to Brisbane and then I'm going to where am I going Anosa for a few days. And I'm going to see my sister Sherry. And I've never been to Brisbane or NUSA, so I feel like it's a little bit of a new Vaca for me. So I'm excited to get a couple of days up there. So we'll be seeing you

on Tuesday. We will not be seeing you on Thursday, and then we'll be backing your ears on the radio on Saturday. So please keep your questions coming into lifelun Cup podcasts on Instagram. Just put ask uncut at the top and keep the accidently unfiltereds and all the other funny shit coming in. Tell your mom'say, dad, tell dog tea friends, and share the love because we love that thea bay er bay