Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island peoples today.
This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, I'm welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. My name happens to be This is not Brittany, but she will be back next week. No, she is. She's back on Tuesday's episode.
Is that confirmed?
It's confirmed? Well, like yes, she said so, so I'm going to believe everything she says. You are looking a little bit tired me.
And you, my friend, look like shit. Thanks so much. That's so kind of you.
Oh you're welcome, darling.
I'm a little bit sick right now. Oh and yet I will go and persevere through this podcast record because I love Life and Cut and those fans out there who want to listen to a man's perspective.
Just to start this off with a tiff, we're having a bit of a tiff because now that Matt's sick, he wants sympathy. But I was sick all last week and I got zero sympathy. None.
My goodness.
Well, it's the truth.
I do not want any sympathy. In fact, far from it. I am. I did the shopping yesterday.
You woke up sick today. You went sick yesterday.
I I've been sick for three days. Please, But when you're sick, when you're sick, you had these moments where you know, it's like it wasn't that you weren't that sick.
I was deathly on deathbed and had to continue.
To this is how sick you sounded.
Amen. I'm not feeling good right now. I'm getting better blurred vision, and I've started talking with an American accent, and I'd be like, shut up, shut up and feed the kids.
Yeah.
That there's a lot of sympathy, a lot of love. We do this to each other, though, whenever, like the other person's sick, unless they're actually unless it's like visibly they can't get out of bed sick, we don't have the amount of sympathy that the other person's supposed to have because the other person's just always a bit annoyed by the back that they got sick.
Yeah, you'd have to lose a finger for me to seriously give you some sympathy.
Well, it's kind of like when you're at work and somebody who you quite depend on calls in sick, and then it just means that you have to do more work. It's the same thing in parenting, like when you call in sick to parenting, I'm like, a fuck, now I've got to do it all.
And yet I have not called in sick. I've rocked up. And not only am I helping with the kids, I've put the washing on. I'm also working on a podcast which I do not get paid for.
Well I do. I do pay you in coffee. I mean leads us into our sponsor of today's episode.
I would take advantage of the fact that I love coffee. You're like, come over here, you'll get a kuppa, and I'm like, I'll do it.
I'll do anything for the smell of a cup of coffee. But I do want to say a very big thank you to Starbucks at Home, who have been a long term partner of the podcast, but who have made this episode possible. Starbucks at Home offers three signature roasts and intensities blonde, medium, and dark. So no matter how you like your coffee, whether it's smooth and creamy or roasting intense, you can make the perfect cup.
Yeah, and if you want to up your coffee confidence, check out Starbucks at home.
Now, I just want to say thank you to everybody who's written in questions for Mattie Jay and also me, but mostly for matt to answer from a man's perspective.
Before we do that, can I just tell a story of how you totally screwed me over the the other day, absolutely stitched me up? Was that on purpose? Was that on purpose?
No? And I forgot and it wasn't. I would never intentionally try and embarrass.
You, Okay.
I mean it does make good content, though, doesn't it.
I feel like this was all orchestrated to just get some content for.
The podcast, Like we're running low. Things are really dry this week. How can I fuck up MAT's life?
We have quite a messy house at the moment, and we just did it a little bit of help.
Well we don't now because the cleaner has come and now it's looking immaculate.
It looks fantastic. She did a very good job, so she may be a little bit traumatized, and I don't know if she'll ever come back, but she did a very good job.
It'd be a shame because she's a very good cleaner.
Such a great cleaner. So the other day Laura and I were talking. It had been a little while since we have had some intimate time.
Look, this might be too much information, but it's been what had been three weeks at least it's been three weeks, which is a long time. But I got sick, have my period. Likely, look too much information, but it's been three weeks.
It was time to enjoy each other's company, and I was very excited.
I couldn't breathe because of my sinuses. Everything was blocked. I couldn't. I can't kiss you when I have blocked sinuses.
You don't need to kiss me. That's absolutely fine.
Take that off the list, non essential, non critical.
I'm fine with that. It does feel a little bit strange. I think we have had sex before, we haven't kissed each other.
Yeah, because I've like when I get perio or dermatitis, I can't kiss you. Also, if I've just put my creams on, don't want to kiss you either.
Totally understand.
Yeah, fordy woman style.
Fine, Yeah, these are conditions which I'm like, yeah, we will still proceed, proceed to the root. So Laura was talking to me. She'd mentioned that she was coming home early from work. I was at home working hard, obviously, and.
We had been texting throughout the day.
Because it was all at this point in your life, sex is normally quite premeditated. It's not just some like off the cuff spur of the moment, Oh my gosh, let's do it right now. It's like little.
Times, but it's not like that when you've got two very small children, like we've got toddlers. Like things are a little bit more scheduled these days.
Yeah, we had to like have a meeting to schedule in when we would have sex over the next course of a few months.
It's like written in the diary, like three pm sexy tm oh.
I know. I did not forget about it. And I was like, Laura, just reminding you that we have sex this afternoon. Whatever you were doing, canceled and come home.
I'd prefer this one not to be over zoom.
So I was primed and ready, and I thought, primed.
And ready, what were you doing.
Greasing myself up.
You were just you were in your underwear, which is like I thought it would be sexy.
But you did.
It's not like you were when you say you were primed and ready. It wasn't like you were walking around with a rock hard bone. You were just you were just in your undies, which you could have been at any point during the day. You often just walk around your rundies.
True. True. So I was at home, he's a jingling at the door. My initial instinct is, ah, she's here.
And let's just let me just preface this before I gave Matt a kind of a window of time as to when I would be home. I said I'd be home an hour before we had to go pick the kids up. This was earlier than that hour.
I was sitting at the door like a puppy waiting for their owner to come home. In that window, I didn't do anything else. TV was off, phone was put away. But I thought, who else could it be but Laura at the door?
The keys.
There was never any question in my mind that it wasn't going to be you, although I was wrong. So as I hear the keys jingling whilst I'm in my undies, I spring up. You know, this is this is my moment. I go like, grab the door handle, I fling open the door, greet my fiance. And it's not Laura. It's it's Paula. Paula the cleaner who's holding a vacuum and a mop bucket.
She's lovely, so nice.
Vine.
Can I just say, Paula, if you're listening, you are an absolute angel of a woman and a great cleaner.
What did she say?
She was looking at me, I was looking at her, and I there was just this pause where I was trying to like, I was trying to compute what happening because I was expecting it to be you.
And you're like, oh, well this will do. Come on. So I have said that.
She didn't know what was going on, but she gave her a great tip.
Not good to find out that that's what happened.
No, look, no, I just said I just said hello, and she's she's like, I'm here to clean the house. And I said, give me a second, put some clothes on. And then I was like, just we're going to pretend that never happened. And I was like, well, yeah, this is the living room and it's quite dirty. And you know, here's here's everything else, and I'm just gonna lock myself in my bedroom.
I should have just said to her, sorry, I was just folding my pants.
Yeah, in hindsight, you know, I could have said, I'm just doing the washing, and she maybe I could have explained the erections. I should have just said, look, it's been six months, sin, I've had sex with my wife. She's you how many seconds? I apologize?
To be fair, I had forgotten that Paula had also given me a window of time as to when she would come and clean the house. It was organized a week earlier. I had been very busy, and I completely forgot completely for that was.
So unlike you, Laura.
It truly wasn't an intentional key.
Details Anyway, I don't know Paula will be back. We didn't have sex. It was a disaster.
Maybe tonight's night.
Though you say that every time, don't tease me like that you always okay? Can I just say at this hour of the day you often say, well, hey to Nat, could be.
A lot can happen between eleven am and seven pm at night. If a lot can happen, a lot changes.
If you play your cards about young man. You may be in luck and then come eight o'clock, I'm tired. You look at me as if you know I'm asking you to run a marathon.
You literally are.
I want you to spread to one hundred meters, you know all I need one hundred meters. It'll be over in ten point five seconds. It's not going to be three and a half hours for you to endure.
Anyway. Let's let's move on to the next thing. But maybe tonight, No tonight, I've got an event on it tomorrow night, maybe this afternoon, maybe before the kids come home and Paula arrives.
She's booked in, she's booked in for round two.
Okay, I have something that I want to talk to you about before we get into answering all your deep, dark and your burning questions. And that's because I read this yesterday and I truly couldn't believe what I was reading. To be honest, there is a man in the UK. He has been jailed, sentenced to thirty four months in prison. That's more than two years.
Yeah, that's that's that's serious, like assault with the deadly weapon.
No, no, well maybe okay, this is this is the article Matthew Hopgood good name hap Good. Sorry, Matthew hop Good.
Matthew Hopwood out they go get the name wrong. Sorry, because you said the name. Second said the name wrong. I'm going to edit that so the first name that you said. He would be listening going, oh my gosh, they've got to out me and my crimes. Stop but it's Hapwood.
Shut up. I'm not going to edit all that out. You're just making me leave it in there.
People will laugh.
Shut up, Okay, Okay, Matthew Hapen, Matthew Hapgood. According to several news reports, Matthew hat Good, stop laughing. You don't even know. Why are you laughing when you don't even know the story?
Yeah, that's funny already.
Okay, Matthew Hapgood.
According we get the name.
According to several news reports, Matthew Hapgood was apprehended for shotlifting. On March twenty first. The forty one year old man was arrested for nicking thirty three pounds worth of beer and cider from Tesco.
Not that much, is it. If you're going to rub a store, at least do a good job.
Yeap, that's not what he got arrested. This is not what he was in and four during the course of his arrest, Hapgod farted in the officer's face. He has been put in prison for thirty two months. That's more than two years for cupcaking a police on this sake?
Did he cupcake?
I don't think he. I don't think he caught it in his hand and put it over the guy's mouth. He did it. He farthered directly in the guy's face.
I'm sure that's quite that's quite a severe sentence. This mustn't have been his first time doing this. The judges like U, ma re Peter Fender. Yeah, Matthew, is it faring and cupcaking again? This is the fifth time.
I do find the name very amusing in this, though, Matthew, someone else's Look, if we were going to sentence you for all of the farts that you've done, it would probably be a life sentence, wouldn't it.
Oh, don't drag me into this. I don't put me in the same category as Matthew Hapwood.
Also, though, look, I understand I understand spitting in off office's face. I know that that is like a disgusting like it is, that is prison time. But I feel like farts are often involuntary. Like what if he was pitying him and he was being handcuffed and the guy just out of surprise, the.
Reader we had for lunch was all of a sudden making him a little bit gassy.
Oh, maybe he was squishing him when he was arresting him or something, and he squshed it out like.
He put pressure on his lower back.
Yeah, it just popped out. We've all had an accident before, and.
The police officers like, that's a salt. It could have been an accidental fart.
It could have been an accident. I also think like, in that moment, how do you intentionally fart? That's what I really want to know. How do you go, you know what, I'm gonna fucking show you. I Am gonna fart on demand in your face.
Unless he was like trying to be arrested, hands behind the back and then Matthew wraps his legs around the police officer's face and then goes mmm on his face, like that could have That could be seen to be intentional.
It could be seen to be intentional.
But I always wonder what would the conversation like in prison when you know, obviously the cell mates are talking about the crimes that they've done in someone's like attempted murder, you know, assault, And then Matthew's like, I'm a fart. That's why I'm here, because I've fart on people's faces. He's a hardened criminal. Well, look a big shout out to our men and women in blue out there giving.
Us dealing with all the things that are thrown at them or forced upon them. Oh, do should we get into the questions?
Let's do the question all right?
Okay, thank you to everybody who's written in questions for today's episode. It is very nice to have you here. Matthew Johnson a man's perspective, and I thought we should kick it off. Actually, do you know what? We get so many sex questions when you're on the podcast, Like people are really they want to know about our sex life. But I feel like we've established that it's just not that.
Wild at the moment, not that much happening.
There's not that much happening, So I don't know why people are so interested in it. But I've got a question for you. Is it okay to masturbate while your partner is at home?
I don't think I have mas No, that's a lie, I.
Have wait, where was I asleep?
Ah?
That's different. Yeah, Like you're not going to wake me up and be like are you are you? How are you feeling? Are you ready for it?
I have done that before.
Yeah, and that's fine.
You're like, shut up, but I mean, come back.
If someone's asleep and your horny, maybe having a shower whatever, Like, yeah, I get it. I think that's no problem.
I think I think the question that you could ask is is it okay to masturbate whilst your partner is in the same house and awake?
Okay, let's make it that question then. And you haven't propositioned them for sex. You've just you've already just completely ruled out the option of having sex with them, and you're just like, I'd rather do it myself.
What about if you have your period?
What do you mean?
Well, I know you don't like to have sex on your period.
I can have sex with my period. You don't like having sex with my period?
Oh my god, do not put this on me.
I don't mind, is it?
What what are we doing for five years?
Ah?
I always thought I thought you didn't.
No, you have literally said to me before, so it's not my favorite I did say, yeah you did, But now you're like, I'll take it.
I don't care whatever, let's do it. I think it's fine. I think the issue would be if if I knew that you were in a position where you were wanting to have sex, and I rejected that option in favor of masturbating.
Yeah, I totally agree. I think, of course it's fine. You've got body autonomy. Do what you want with your own body, when you want it. You don't have to ask for permission. But if your sex life is already affected, like if there's if one person is feeling undesired, or they're wanting more sex, or they're wanting just you know, more intimacy from you, and then you're opting to masturbate without even having a conversation with them or bringing them in on that, And then I think that probably is
a red flag for a greater issue. But if you have a great and healthy sex life, you shouldn't take offense to the fact that your partner wants to also masturbate. I don't think it. I don't think that that needs to be a reflection that there's something wrong.
I think some people would take it to offense because it does feel like, I guess a sense of rejection that an act which should be done with your partner, you're favoring doing it in isolation.
Yeah, But also it shouldn't just be done with your partner, Like I think there's nothing wrong with wanting to not have the full commitment that say, like to have sex. Obviously there's more involved, it's more effort, it's more energy, it's more everything. If you're just okay, look, you know, gotta just rub one out before I go to sleep. I don't think that that's a big deal so long
as it's not affecting your actual sex life. And if it is affecting your sex life, and that's a very different conversation, and then that's where it becomes a problem. But I guess you won't know that unless you have a bit of an open conversation about it, and you can also talk to your partner and say, like, you know, would it offend you if I did this in the instance that you're not actually up for it, or you're tired, or I'm not up for sex in that moment, Like,
does it offend you if I did do this? I think you would get some interesting answers out of your partner if you actually had that conversation with them.
I do find that sometimes I'll sleep much better if I have a bit of Maddie Jay time before I go to bed, and it takes me about two minutes in the shower.
Thank you for sharing that?
Yeah? Too much.
So every night that I'm like, ha'd you sleep last night and You're like really good, I'll be like, all right, well there we go. That's a bit too much. Would Paula please don't clean the shower? Paula Ah is never coming back and she's never going to clean our bathroom. I'm gonna define a new cleaner. Cleaners are so fucking hard to find, all right. I have another question? How do I get a guy to commit who is keeping
things casual? He says, I'm perfect, that I'm exactly the type of girl that he would go for, but he's just not in a position for anything serious right now. Should I stick it out and hope that he changes his mind? Is there anything that I can do to convince him that now is the right time?
No, there is absolutely nothing you can do. That guy is just a bit of a fuck boy. Yeah, boys, exactly what this is And it's such a such a cop out to be like, you're such a great girl, you know everything that I'm looking for, except it's just
not the right time. I hate that. I hate that someonech I like, looking back in the past, I've definitely been in situations where I've just the easy excuse is, hey, it's just you know, I'm focusing on work right now, and I've just ended another relationship, so it's just not right for me to get into another full time relationship. What I really mean is, or what I you know, what I was insinuating is that I'm just pretty happy to have some casual sex right now.
I'm sure so many people have read the book or seen the movie. He's just not that into you. That is a fucking brutal thing to like have that messaging. But but it's like if somebody is not making you a priority, but they're making excuses around why they can't possibly make your priority at the moment, I think that that goes a really long way in saying it's not about waiting for them, It's not about putting your life
on hold. It's simply about finding someone who proactively chooses and wants to be with you because you could be in sort of situationship, experience, or relationship for an indefinite amount of time. You could do this for a year until he turns around and says, oh, but I told you, or they like it doesn't It's not just guys who
do this. Anyone can do this. But they turn around and say to you, Oh, I told you I wasn't really looking for a relationship, So you can't be that upset that I don't want to do this anymore and you've just invested all of this time into something that truly meant nothing to them.
I know, I know guys out there, not myself, I would never do this, who would always caveat being intimate and also saying really beautiful things to that person later on saying oh, but you know, I don't want anything too serious, but in the moment love bombing them doing everything that is synonymous with being in a full time relationship, but then kind of saying at the back end, oh, yeah, but you know I can't I can't commit. I told you that. I'm really sorry.
Yeah, And I think like so many people do that. So many people get caught up in the emotion of being with someone like they they want to say. They say the nice things, they treat you like they're dating you, they treat you like they're invested in you. But if ultimately they're saying at the end of that, I don't want to be in a relationship, like now is not the right time, I am focusing on work, whatever other
excuse it is. If you want a relationship and they're telling you to your face that they do not want a relationship with you, then I think you have to disregard all the other nice things that they do and say in the heat of the moment that gives you hope, because the reason why they do that is to keep you invested.
You're a bench warmer.
You're a fucking bench warmer. They're doing that to keep you invested while they're still able. They're still able to get their sex, they're still able to have a girlfriend or boyfriend on tap, they're still able to tap into what feels like a warm, fuzzy relationship. But they have absolved themselves of any sense of guilt, of any sense of responsibility over you, of any sort of sense of commitment by saying, but I don't want a relationship.
What's the saying is that a bird in the bush is worth twice in the city or something.
What I don't know.
You know, what I'm trying to say is I'm really bad.
With saying like you shouldn't do the.
But you know what they say is, you know, it's better to have something than nothing.
Oh, as in like people like to just keep someone there until something better comes. And when I say something better, I don't mean better as in like that there is a person that is better than you.
No, I think that is true.
No, but but it's just a person that's different, that's better suited to what they're looking for, Like there's no one per and that can be a real it can be such a hard pill to swallow. Like, you know, I remember in my past, I was in a long situation ship for almost a year, actually for over a year, and he always sort of said up like now I'm too busy with work, I can't invest in you. I don't want to be with you. And I kind of thought if I stuck it out longer than when his
work come down, we would end up being together. What happened, well, we never ever ended up being together, and three months after we broke up, he got a girlfriend who he's still with and is getting married to.
Fuck Ah, you're kidding.
No, you're kidding. But so that's.
What did you do?
Were You're like nothing? I guess I just had to take what I mean. Obviously you can read between the lines, and I was over him and over the relationship by the time I left it. But like, yeah, there is definitely a bit of you that feels like, fuck, Okay, I wasn't good enough for you. That It's not that I wasn't good enough for him. I just wasn't what he was looking for. And that's okay.
Yes, that is brutal. I think you've told me that story before.
But I was good enough for you.
Yes, I'll take you. Not a problem, you'll do. Just one man's trash is another man's treasure.
Okay, let's get into the next question. Vaseectomes ah vseectomies.
Even the word makes me feel a little bit squeamy.
See this is why it is so interesting. Okay, as a man, he Johnson, what are your views on getting a vasectomy. We have three children together and my husband has had an appointment several years ago, but he keeps on putting off the procedure and it is creating a real point of tension for us. I want him to go and have a vasectomy, that he is choosing to delay it, even though I know he doesn't want any more children. What do you think of this?
I think the thing that scares guys about vysectomies is the fact that it just maybe it's the idea of it being I know it's not permanent. You can get them reversed, it doesn't always work, but it's just the fact that it seems like once you cross that line, there is no going back. And I think there's something about that which scares guys. And it's weird because obviously, if you're in a relationship where you've got three kids, you're very happy, you don't want to go down the
route of having kids with another person. Surely it shouldn't matter, But I don't know. For me, there's still I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that maybe it feels like part of your masculinity is being taken away, Like.
Your masculinity and your manhood is tied to.
Your ability to reproduce.
I guess then it's also tied to your virility as a man and your manhood.
Even I think if you're over the age of forty. I think it makes a lot of sense. But if we were to say, have a child, a third child next year, and then off the back of that you said I would like you to get a vasectomy, I feel like this sounds so stupid, but I feel like I'm still in my prime. I got someone want to give.
Who are you going to give it to?
Yeah, it's like asking a sprinter in the Olympics after he's just one gold to cut his leg off because he's retired.
No, it's not, that's what.
It feels like.
Okay, I have it's pretty.
I'm not saying that is the correct way to feel. It's just the way that I've been conditioned to feel.
Would you get a physeectomy after we have finished having kids?
I think so, yeah. Yeah. I mean obviously I'm never going to be in another relationship after this one. I love you. I love you, and I think I can't imagine that we would have more than three kids. But there is a little thought in the back of my mind, Hey, maybe we win the lotto. Right, we have millions of dollars and we're not having more than three twelve, and we decide that we can have four kids because we both don't have to work and we have so much money.
Think of the environment, and then I go, well.
I can't have that. The sect to me two years ago, so it's not possible. So I think if I do get a vasectomy, maybe I'll freeze some sperm.
I mean, I guess with this question, I have some pretty strong feelings around it because I know for myself and for the conversations we've had in the past, like when we eventually get to the point that we don't want to have any more kids, I would hope that you would have a vasectomy because the reason why I say this man's sitting there like oh, is because so much of the reproductive onus, the and the the impact it has on your body is carried by the mum
or the female totally. And it's so I mean everything from getting your periods as a young girl, having to manage contraception in your twenties and your thirties, having to physically carry a child, having to then nurse that child like that is a huge amount of impact. And told that that has in your body, you have sacrificed your body for so long to be able to bring children into the world. If that's what you choose to do.
Men don't have to do a lot except ejaculate, Like, that's pretty much it in terms of pretty yeah, in terms of their bodily sacrifices, that's the only thing. So I find the argument of not wanting to get it a really hard one to process because I'm like, yes, it's something foreign that you have to do to your body. Yes it's a you know, a day surgery or a keyhole surgery, but like, we have to do stuff every
we have to think about this every single day. It's something we have to think about every single week.
And giving forgetting the fact that as a teenager men get random erections. Okay, that's not being factored in right now.
It's true, there's definitely some things that happened to your body that you have no control ever. But I guess if you're someone who's in a relationship and you have done all of the sacrificing when it comes to your body in terms of being able to create children, then I do think that having a vasectomy is literally the most minimal effort that a guy could do that'll wear condoms for the rest of his life if he wants to do that, but like.
Give me the number.
It is, it's I just think I'll get in, don't you think though? Like I just think it's such it's such a small sacrifice to make. It doesn't change anything about your manhood. That is, it's very like ego attached, and that's that's something that I think society has made us believe is connected to being a man and being masculine. But like, having a vaseectomy doesn't make you any less of a man. All it does is it kind of takes that pressure off your partner who has done the
child wearing for so long. I'm never gonna make you get the snip unless you are also an active and willing participant. But like I do feel that it's a it's do guys really care about areola size and vulver shape and size?
What is that?
What is a volver or what is an areola? Right?
Little help nipples? Nipples? Remember this is the guy who was referring to clarics cleatorus.
Yeah, sorry, okay, no what to care? What did not use specifically? But I think a lot of young women, actually a lot of like all women. I don't think it's just young women. A lot of women grow up feeling worried that, you know, the comparison of what a volvers should look like, the comparison of what their breasts should look like. Worried that maybe men might judge them
based on the way that they appear. Do guys really care as much as we think they care about the aesthetic of their nipples and their volver?
No, not at all. Guys are just happy to be having sex. I think what a privilege.
You are lucky to be here, buddy, totally.
I don't think the size of nipples. I don't know anyone out there who's broken up with a woman because they didn't like the size of a nipples or the size of a volver. Yeah, vulva late labia la, I'm learning, I'm learning. Bear with me. But I also think guys are equally self conscious about, you know, the size of their penis or how their testicles hang. You know, for me, I have very big, big toes.
Guys really self conscious about how hangy, how low hung their testicles are. I wouldn't even think about it.
I hang quite a lot.
Yeah they do, but I would never.
I can't agree with me.
I would never. I would never if I saw a guy naked, think all those testicles are gravity has taken hold. I would never, would, never ever even cross my mind to even think about worrying about a guy's testicles.
Yeah, and the same way that I don't think any guy really cares about how big someone's nipples are. You know, it's I think everyone is as self conscious about their own bodily appearance than the person that they're having sex with.
Something else that we've spoken about before is that I think it's important to know where you're getting your comparison from. But if you think that, you know, maybe that you're lab looks different or that your nipples look different. We interviewed an incredible woman on the podcast a little while
back called Ellie from Comfortable in My Skin. And Ellie actually has on her website if you go to Comfortable in My Skin, she has a full gallery and it's called Flip Through My Flaps, so you can go on there. Matt and I have done it once before. We've sat on the couch and looked through all of the different volvers and it's actually so good because it helps you to really, I mean one you can kind of look through and be like oh, mine looks like that girl's vulver.
But also it just shows you how hugely and vastly different everyone's volves are. And also she has another one called brows through my Breasts, and there are hundreds and hundreds of boobs in there, so you can look at all the different shapes of breast sizes. You can also and the thing I thought was really cool about the vulver photos was that there's women who have scarring from laser hair removal, there's people who have had caesareans who have given birth, there are photos of women who having
their period. Like it is so hugely varying, and I think that sometimes we compare ourselves to maybe images from porn, or maybe we compare ourselves to what's deemed the most aesthetic based on society's vision.
Do you know what I was most nervous about why? When I was a young man, it was the fact that of my circle of friends, no one had a hairy bump, no one. Everyone had like a beautiful smooth.
Bottom as in men.
Correct. Yeah, yeah, me and my bros. And my ass was so hairy you could plait the hair in my ass for me grumbing up. I had hardly any hair on my chest next to no hair on my face, and it'd all been and it had all come down to my ass. That's where all my hair was. When I went through puberty and I was in my mind, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm the only one with a really hairy ass getting changed in the change rooms. I'd have like my back into the corner so no
one would see my hairy ass. Isn't a funny, biggest thing I had to overcome.
But that's the thing, Like, everybody has something that they feel insecure about. And I think that especially when you're going into the bedroom with someone new, or you know, you're first seeing someone naked for the first time, people are so worried about their own insecurities and whether that other person thinks they look good, that they're not really assessing what, like how does this look? You know, like the nobody is judging you as much as you're judging yourself.
And that's I think a really important take home message.
And now Laura loves nothing more than to run her fingers through my hairy bottom.
You have a great bum, and I have never looked at your bum and thought that is a hairy ask.
Except except when you came in yesterday and I I was cleaning up naked.
No, that was because you'd bent you were you were bent over and I saw your bum hole. That was different. It wasn't your hairy bumb it was the full picture. And I was like, Oh, that's of you. Thank you, abyss. It's beautiful. Thank you so much. All Right, this is the last question I'm thinking about entering The Bachelor. However, I'm really at a point in my life where i
want to meet someone. Do you think that what you guys have is very, very rare in terms of the outcome of the show, or do you think it's a possibility.
I don't think it's rare.
I mean there's definitely I'm in Holly and Jimmy just got engaged.
Yeah, I think. But it's funny some people come up to me and maybe they obviously don't know the franchise that well, and they're like, oh, you're still with your partner. Yeah, Laura and I were getting married. We have two kids.
Yeah, Like it's a shock to me too.
But they go, oh, you must be one of the only successful couples, and I'm like, no, there's there's Tim and Anna, there's Sam and Ses, there's Jimmy Lockey got engaged.
To Georgia and ly like, if you look at the bachelorette side of things too, there's so.
Many Except the issue is the big issue is, well, they've already filmed the latest season, so that's wrapped up, and I reckon, I don't know if The Bachelor's going to come back.
Yeah, I would, actually, I mean, I second that. I think that's probably a very controversial call. But I don't think there will be another season after this season of Bachelor. I'd be surprised because this unless this season, this new format and how different it is, really works in terms of ratings and everything else. But I just think each year seems to be like going down and down in the ratings, and I can't imagine why they would bring it back if it's not sort of getting the numbers.
One thing I think also leads to the fact that The Bachelor may be rested is the fact that there's the new love show on Channel ten called The Love Boat as well, which seems weird that that's being promoted before Batch Like.
But I mean, okay, let's get back to answering her question. I agree with you. I don't think that our story is rare, Like you know, I do think it's pretty crazy that we met on a reality TV show. That's wild, you know, But I don't think that our outcome is rare. The Bachelor has a very good success rate for the
final couple. However, do I think it's a good idea to go on The Bachelor with the hope of finding the one in terms of like that being a smart and viable way of meeting someone, I think it's a pretty big risk because I think, just again, yeah, look at the numbers, there's twenty four girls and there's one guy. Like, that's the chance of it being you and that being your love story is pretty slim. So I think you have to go in there, and I shouldn't say you
have to. I didn't go on the show thinking that I was going to meet the love of my life, like that was an incredible coincidence, not a coincidence. I mean, obviously I'm not fantasying you here, no, but I mean I didn't expect it. I went on there thinking it would be a really cool experience, and like, wouldn't it be amazing if something did happen? But did I sign up for a reality TV show thinking, yes, this is how I'm going to meet someone? No, Because statistically I
thought that's probably a bit of an anomaly. So I think, you know, if you were at a point in your life where you really really want to be in a relationship, you really really want to meet someone, you can sign up and do the experience of reality TV, whether it's Maths, whether it's Bachelor that I don't think you should put all your eggs in that basket because you don't even know if you're going to like the person who is
cast as the number one person. And I think if you go in there with the expectation that you are going to really like them, that they that that's your person, then you are more inclined to overlook the things about them that are actually for you.
You've got to go in there expecting the worst but hoping for the best. You were one of one of three thousand women who auditioned for the show, I know, and you really did strike gold, didn't you? This guy over here Harry but Muddy Jay, Oh very sensitive on that topic.
Anyway, guys, that is it from us. We will have an episode not not now, not in a little while about all the wedding stuff. We thought we would have a little conversation soon about how things are going for the wedding. Matt has been doing a lot of the organizing.
Man has been doing all of the organizing.
You are a rarity. I have not done much wedding planning at all.
Nothing at all, No, nothing at all.
It's not my fortepe.
I come to you and I'm like, hey, do you want like a nice vintage car or maybe limousine? And You're like, do not care whatever.
It's we have a real role reversal in our relationship. I feel like most women are the ones who plan the wedding, or most females end up planning the weddings. In heterosexual relationships, most guys take the backseat. I have taken a back seat, and you have been the planner.
Because you're so busy. And also I used to work in events, so this is my jam, so we it's very awkward. It's all on me.
It'll also be a reason as to why you don't work in events anymore. But anyway, guys, that is it from us.
Quickly, quickly, quickly, Laura, before we go, I am wearing right now a beautiful, delicious, crisp white Life Uncut jumper size Excel because yes, men can wear these.
Also it does look very good on you. You can jump onto the website it is Life Uncut Podcast and that is where you can get the merch from. You can also get a pre order copy of We Love Love, the book that Britt and I have worked our little asses off and is going to be out in October as well. And if you have loved Maddy Jay filling in on the podcast, if you've had a little giggle, please jump onto Apple and leave a review. I know what it means. The weld tea.
I read every single review. Give me some affection. As always, I am very needy. So when's the wedding episode coming out a.
Few weeks time? Sure you get paid for that one? Probably?
No, definitely not. Never get paid.
And you know the drills. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends, and share the love. Because we love Love. I love you do