Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was recorded on de rug Wallamata Land.
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Do you know what I've come to realize? Oh? Really, please enlighten me? Realize that I don't know how. I don't know English, but I actually can't pronounce words. No.
I have come to realize because of watching our YouTube channel that we have now, because our YouTube is look at your YouTube. We swear too much, especially me.
You say you realize that because I told you that. I literally went through all the videos before they went live and I said, hey, disclaimer, you might want to check this because you are swearing like a trooper. And you're like, nah, it'll be fine. I was like, no, it'd be fucking fine. From memory as well, like fuck you, Brittany, it'll be fucking fine.
There was one YouTube which I apologize if you were easily and now I like looking at the camera like talking talk to me, Okay, if you are easily offended by swearing. There is one YouTube video that it was producer Keisha and I, but we were talking about swearing.
That's the whole premise of it.
And you can't really talk about swearing without doing the swearing because it was.
Kind of a crucial to the story.
But it's a lot So if you go to that, if you watch that video first, you might be alarmed. So instead you should go to the World's Biggest porn star because that would be less alarming.
Angela White also great. Didn't swear, actually didn't swear, didn't swear.
Did talk about anal a lot though, so I think some people might find that more confronting than swearing.
No, but she's you know, potato potato. She spoke about anal so casually, so diplomatically and intellectually, and like, I found it fascinating listening to a talk and the way she was speaking. She could about what she had for breakfast, you know, the way she delives it because she's so articulate, so the way she speaks doesn't sound like it's about anal. She's like That's how in that moment I realized that my fist did fit in my ass and I'm like totally like it was the delivery.
I was like, yes, yes, screen her voice is smooth as butter. Also not surprising that that has been our most watch YouTube so far.
Yeah, because it's all men. They're not subscribing to us. This is not we just.
Got to watch Angele or why we did not gain a single additional listener. But we do have a lot of views on that one single video. And when I say a lot, I mean like just more than the others because it only launched on Tuesdays. If you haven't seen the YouTube station, like the station, wow my brain is you.
Guys haven't gone to our YouTube station on Planet Laura.
It's a channel on our YouTube channel. Yet it's new, it's fresh, it's fun.
Go hey, guys, I am gonna speak my mind out loud. That's what we do on a podcast. I'm having a really hard battle, internal battle. We've been happy and sad. Oh in a very particular situation, this normally would make people really happy. So Ben, who lives over in Scotland, lives about forty five minutes to an hour away from my sister Sherry and her husband Jay, who were like the other two closest people to me in my life and they're hanging out all the time. And I know
I've said this before. I'm like, it's so good that they're getting to know each other. But now it's like it's too much for my heart and I don't know what to do because I'm jealous in a way of like they're living the life I want. And I know I've said it before, but I just now got off the phone to Ben and I was like, Oh, that's so great. I'm like really happy for you guys, because he's like, oh, he just spent the last two days at their house and now they're coming to his house.
He's like, oh, Jane Cherry are coming next week and we're going to the match and then we're going to go to Switzerland. He's like, I'm taking them back to my hometown and we're staying at my home and I'm going to show them about where I grew up and stuff. And I was like, I haven't been for us, and he's like, yeah, I know that's something that like I should probably be doing with you, but you know you're not here, and so I'm gonna take them and show them my childhood and I was like, like a knife
in the heart. That's wonderful. I was like, Sherry can tell me all about your childhood, and I don't know what to do with that. No, I understand. I think that is completely warranted.
I think it's the part when your sister the amount of like mileage and like airtime FaceTime that she's had with your partner exceeds the amount of FaceTime that you've had with your partner.
No, her physical time.
Yeah, I mean like no, I don't mean FaceTime is in like on FaceTime. I mean face two face times, face to real face to FaceTime exceeds what you have spent with your actual partner.
It probably is the moment where you go, this is an ideal. It's not. It's the hanging out. It's fine, but they're like embracing their childhood and like all getting to experience all that was unnecessary. He doesn't need to show you your sister that No Jay's going to And then they're like, all our friends are gonna have over for a barbecue and they'll meet people. And I was like, I don't know anyone in your life. I don't exist.
You don't stop it. The Daily Mail says you exist in his life.
That's all that matters. Yeah, that's true. I get the clear So, like, you know, it was a bad joke. So that was a joke. Don't care for me? Can we go back? No?
But what I'm saying is is kind of like one of the reassuring things when you're doing long distance with someone who is famous in Scotland is what Ben is because of what he does when people google him, Like if ever a chick's on a night out and she's like Ben, all that comes up is like a very hot photo of the two of you together. Is it just disarming? No, because it would make anyone be like, oh, I don't have a chance.
Like he's just too clearly, I wasn't worried about any other women, but thank you for putting in my hands just just about my sister.
You have nothing to worry about. Also, your sister's married, so like she's not going to cut your grass.
Everything's oh, she's not kind of my grass. Hey. You know what else I read? I wanted to bring this up today and it couldn't be more fitting. I read something yesterday that I didn't realize I was going to bring up today. I was just upset by it myself. What's god, this is going to make me sound old? What's the young generation called again? It's easy, Okay, ed or X said, aussy, we're millennials.
Sorry to all the gen zs who are listening to this who don't apparently wear I make up anymore.
That's what I want to talk to you about. Gen and use fucking drunk elephant skin care products. I've read yesterday the gen Z has canceled eyeshadow.
Nah.
I saw that Mma meter article as well. Its everywhere, but it was Muma Meir who started it was on their Instagram. I went into the deep spiral of oh my god, I'm my old. I wear I make up? You got to click on the article and actually read the content. Apparently they do. They just use it minimally and they use a rose blush.
Can I just interject, it's not it's TikTok.
It's trending on TikTok, which is the most millennial thing.
Yeah. No, Mom and me just took it off and this has gone for ages. It's the thing that MoMA mes just reporting on from. Yeah, but I walked in today with some my shadow on. I still put some, but I put less on because I was like, oh, I better put there. I walk in Keisha's I've never seen it with heavier eye show in my life.
Look at it, which is hilarious because produce a Keisha. You are the one who always says like I sit on the cuss between gen Z and millennial. I like to lean into my gen Z. Not today, girlfriend, No that big ten eyes showered. Otherwise I got ready in the dark.
Okay. We started really early this morning, and I actually did it. We started at seven. The sun comes up at five.
When I was putting makeup on today, it was all like, not natural lighting I actually have.
I did have the lights on, but they're very warm.
So I realized I think it was I just went to the bathroom here at work, and I was like, well.
I just thought you went no, it looks great, but pushing down GM wouldn't like it. But what I also thought was funny. I was really in this spiral because I love a bit of eyeshadow. I do the under eyes shadow as well instead of eyeliner, like you know, how you go around the whole eye. I kept on reading it and the trend that's in, which is so going to benefit you, Laura, is that the trend that he's in is looking tired and keep and keeping bags under your eyes come f with gen Z. No one
does it better than Laura bad. That is my shit. You don't have to spreadula ready, you were born, You wake up every day and you could hit a catwalk. According to jen Z because they're like, what is in his no makeup? And that really tired, like Pete Davidson under I look and I feel like you rock that. Thanks Brett. That's a real compliment for me.
I was saying to produce a Keisha today in the car on the ride here since having children, and I didn't say, this is like a storytop.
You know. Keisha was saying that she had a really bad.
Night sleep and Laura's like, fuck, you know, she said she know she was up for two hours trying to get to sleep and it resulted in a bad night sleep. And I was like, you know what, and I know that I hate being the person that is going to do what I'm about to do. I was like, because no one wants to compete on who had the worst sleep. I was like, but that you did is so normal, Like the version that you just gave me. Then, is so normal to me that that wouldn't even rate as a bad night sleep.
That was brilliant.
I wouldn't even complain about that because I'm so used. I feel hungover one hundred percent of the time.
Okay, I'll see when myself out, it's probably because I drink every day. No, that's she guess. I drinks myself to sleep every night, and I feel hungover everything every day. No I do.
I wake up feeling hungover every day, or just like a little bit exhausted from the second I wake up until the second I go to bed.
And I am half joking. Anyone that is watching this on our YouTube station at the moment, you can see that Laura doesn't have a bag on her eye. You look amazing. Must be the profilo, the Felller, not feller that you had. I just joke that, you know you are always tired because you never sleep well because you have little kids. You don't have to clarify.
I know I look like shit one hundred percent of the time, but I'm trying harder now because people can see me.
I have just and I've always been like this. I think I've never been somebody that goes with the trends. I've never If I like something, I will do it. I don't care if someone tells me it's out. I'm going to continue to wear my eye shadow for as long as possible. That's where I want to get.
I think that's a good idea. Because you're also not fourteen. So if the fourteens are telling you you don't need to till like twenty eight or something, Laura, well, it's still a decade younger than me. Anyway, moving her along, I wanted to tell you, guys, give you a little update in my personal life. Mattis home. It was very exciting. He's back from Vegas. He the poor thing. He got a bit upset with me last night because he walked in the door and I was so happy to see him,
and then I took my mom. Actually that's my vibe this week, so I will say that I took my mom and my mother in law to the theater last night and left Matt. And when I got home, it was eleven o'clock and he was still awake, and I looked at him and I was like, I love you, and I'm so glad you're home, but you look like shit. And he was like, yeah, it's been a week of drinking and partying and working and he was getting any sleep,
so he's really feeling the effects. But then he got really sad and he was like, that's a really mean thing to say. I was like, fair show your partner that they look like shit when they've just come home. Yes, you're from Vegas though, like of course he.
Look have you seen the hangover due? The guy hasn't been at a wellness spa. He's been at Vegas exactly. It's a warrant. I would be shocked if you didn't say that. Yeah.
I was like, I love you and I'm so happy to see you, and you're still a very sexy man.
But you just look a little bit shitter than you left. That's all. That's all I'm saying. I'll validate that, all right, thank you.
And the other life update is I was talking about on Tuesday the girls were getting a kitten, and yesterday we went out to the pond where we got the kitten from. It's from Sydney cats and dogs, which honestly, I mean, it's a bit of a drive from where I am, but there were so many animals and they do such incredible work. And we got there and I reckon there was like thirty to forty kittens and cats
that all needed homes. Apparently this is kitten season. Didn't know that they were seasonal, but apparently there's like a time of year where all the cats are getting it on and then all the kittens are being born in bush shelters and stuff. And it was so overwhelming for Lola and Marley because we walked in there and there were so many kittens. And at the start, Marley was really into it. She was like this one, this one, and I.
Was like, stop throwing the kittens. She just throws me to the cash. I'll take that one. Only eight lives left now.
She was kind of just like carrying them around like they were toys. Anyway, I had to like really downscale her energy. But Lola was so reserved and she didn't want to pick them up. She wanted to touch them, but she was really timid and really kind of a bit frightened by them. And I think it's because their kittens are really playful and they got little nails and stuff. But she was really not as excited as I thought she was gonna be. She was more scared.
Yeah, it's an overwhelming environment.
She's only three, totally, and also giving her the responsibility of choosing one when there's forty, Like the kids get overwhelmed in a toy shop, let alone getting animal that they know that they're gonna have to take care of and all that sort of stuff. So this went on for a while. We were there for like two hours, and then you know, halfway through, Marley had already gotten over it.
She was like, whatever, picked the one you want? I don't care.
And she was like overlooking at like the Christmas cards and stuff, and Lola was still like meticulously looking through all the kittens, and then she found this one and she picked it up and it was a tiny little run to the litter. She was carrying it around underneath her chin and it was just sitting in her hands, and she kept on going, I love you, I love I love you, and you know, I was too busy
trying to like take care of Mali. And then after like literally forty minutes, I realized she'd been holding onto the same cat for forty minutes.
Is that the one, you go? That's the one we got?
And she was so sweet, like by the end of it. She was absolutely obsessed. So now we have a little kitten. Its name was or is Jupiter. It'll soon be named Raspberry. And we don't get to bring a home for a couple of weeks. It's too small, too small, cute. They did offer for us to take too home.
I was gonna say, why didn't you get it a friend? Yeah, well that okay.
So they said you should take two home and have two until they're about fourteen fifteen weeks because what that does, it stops them. They learn a bite inhibition, it's called so they bite each other and then they learn, oh that's not nice. I don't want to bite someone. It doesn't feel good. And then they don't bite humans. And so I was trying to convince Matt, and Matt was like, if you come home with two cats, I will divorce you.
He's like, I know, I look like shit, but you also can't anybody anyway, because now you got a cat that's gonna bite him.
Thank you, Because I was like, well you're gonna not like the cats. The cat's gonna bite. So like, let's just get two and them they love each other, and he knows that if I bring to home, we'll keep too, of course you will is my plan to do it anyway. Jupiter and Pluto, do you know what you should do? Strawberry and Raspberry exploded, Get it on camera.
Get it a second one, and just put it in the yard and don't say you've brought it home and say, oh my god, there's a cat is coming to a yard. It's probably close enough.
It could be convincing that you've just got the one.
If it's like Batman, you could call it Batman.
Anyway, we get to bring a home in a couple weeks time. I'm so excited. That's so beautiful.
That is really exciting. My ovary is also on fire. But I think that's my period, thank you, it's rebulation. Yeah.
Anyway, let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes for the week.
Okay, my vibe is something that is so practical, something that I have been using. It is. There are so many different brands and different names, but essentially it's called a tied pen now, lor you saw me pen? Yeah, you saw me use this last week? Actually I did, and it is brilliant protesia. You need a tied bucket. You do so if you're somebody like me that you end up on Laura, you too, but you end up with like coffee stains on your food or you spill something.
You guys, remember I spilled coffee on me last week. A tide pen is it's a whitening pen for clothes or it's just not even whitening stain remover. It doesn't white. You can use it on color, well, you can have white, just white, but you can also just have a color that's a stain remover and it just looks like a white out pen the same size. You can get it from literally anywhere Spotlight, Woolworth Supermarkets, Amazon Online if you
want to do an order. And it just so. I spilled coffee on myself and I learned this from our radio co host Mitch Chury. He took one around Europe with him. When he came over to me and I was like, and I needed it. One day, I spilled coffee all down me and I was like, on our way out, He's like, hang on, brit I have a tide pen.
That's an elite human when you've gotten to the point of organization in your life where you walk around with a stain remover pan in your handbag.
Yep, like that is an elite level of adulting. And so you just had a Yeah, you just dub it on for a second, it dries, it takes the stain out, put it back, the pen back in your bag. I was like, this is life changing for people like me. So that is my very practical vibe.
For the way some people cure cancer. And Britney kill stains his years, say, just carry a pin, produce a kisha.
What is your vibe? Okay, try and top that keisha.
Well, I was going a video editor Johno, but a boy and I were talking about this and I was going to recommend Griffin's Marvel Golden Gaytime Biscuits.
I love that some podcasts they do their like, hey, my recommendation for the week is this really obscure political podcast because I'm so smart, we're.
Like tired pens and Gaytime businuess do we do all different kinds of things to do there.
I have actually done political podcast before, so I feel like this is light and shade.
Look, I'm just gonna really quickly recommend that.
The reason I'm not this is not my main recommendation is because you said something to me just before we started recording, and I was like, actually, that's a better recommendation.
But they're from Cole's and they're fucking delicious.
But my actual recommendation for the week is a Face ten serum.
Now, this particular one, I feel like I.
Have tried ten different brands and I've wanted one that looks natural and doesn't.
Look too umpa lumpa orange, as.
It doesn't dry out your skin because the chemical that is in Fake ten can dry out your skin and I have somewhat sensitive skin. I found one that I really really like and is working for me. It's the Barley Body one. So it's twenty nine to ninety five and it's like the serum and I put it on my face and I use a brush to kind of make sure that I get it in all the nooks and crannies, you know, so that you get your ears and all that kind of thing. Anyway, I'm absolutely loving it.
What I really like is that I feel as though it cuts down the amount of foundation that I wear, because you know, you just get that little bit of color back to your face and you don't feel like you need to put Yes, we can put it under your eye just a little bit of life anyway. For me, the color of this one is absolutely perfect. So I have an olive base to my skin. I'm not sure if it would work as well with pink based skins, but yeah, I really reckmend this one.
I'm loving it.
I don't like face Waters. I'm gonna put it out there, serum, so face Waters. I always think I look yellow like I like I've got jaundice.
Yeah, it might just not be you for your skin, but you have an olive Italian skin anyway.
You might be good with this one because I've found the same thing with previous ones. I found that the color just hasn't been right and it looks funny. This one, I find looks quite I mean, you.
Tell me, I think it looks natural. Give it a crack.
And my recommendation for this week is it's a bit Sydney based at the moment, but it's making its way around Australia. And if it was, if you're in Melbourne, Madigra, yeah, go to Mardi Gras. No. My recommendation is last night I went to the theater. I went and saw Anguliette at the theater. It's at the Lyric Theater in Sydney, Rob Mills. He's one of the leads. There's like probably three or four leads in the show. He unfortunately was sick last night and it was the understudy. But even
the understudy was incredible. It's got Casey Donovan in it. The singing is amazing. And this recommendation comes from someone who is a self proclaimed not a theater person.
I do not normally enjoy the theater. I would not normally go.
But the only reason why I said yes to this is because my mum musical theater.
Oh, she loves it so much. It's weird.
I don't know how we share the same DNA, but she loves it. So I took her and I took Matt's mum, and funnily enough, as we were sitting in the chair, Matts mumb leans over to me and goes, I forgot to tell you I hate musicals. And I was like, perfect, this is the per that I bought.
Us all very expensive tickets to go and see this.
I'm so glad we can all share this together. But I don't.
Yeah, and I don't like musical theater. And I thought it was incredible.
And Ellie walked out of there and she was like that was really good, like genuinely surprised by how much she enjoyed it. And my mom was like, fucking she was gy writing on the floor. So everyone had a good Timeue, what type of a story is it? So the storyline to it, it's so Romeo and Juliet, but this is Juliette's story so basically, And the thing that's really cool is it kind of links in little bits
of history. So William Shakespeare, no one would know this, but he had a wife who he didn't actually spend any time with. She had three sons, and he just focused all his time in writing plays. And the story is kind of based around William Shakespeare's wife wanting to rewrite Romeo and Juliet to be the story that was for her. She changes the ending, and the ending is all about it being like a feminist, empowering play written by a woman where Juliet finds her own agency. It's cool,
it's very funny. It's a comedy, but it's done really well. That's my recommendation.
Alrighty guys, let's crack on into the questions. Question number one. I went out for a date with a guy where we're just going to go for a drink. I drove there, though, so I was expecting to have two glasses of wine max Over possible two hours. He sat down said he would be getting a bottle of wine, not even asking about my preference. I told him I would prefer a glass that I was driving, and he said, Nope, that's
definitely going to change. You are going to be drinking more, staying for the bottle, and eventually we will go back to yours. Instant icky, instant ick. I immediately felt uncomfortable and was very shut off from wanting to get to know this person, which I eventually voiced after I finished my one glass he was on his third. I very respectfully said that I would be heading off, and to be polite, I said, hey, let me know your bank details so
I can transfer you for half of the bottle. This morning I woke up to his bank details and he told me the bottle was ninety dollars. This is probably one of the worst dates I have ever been on. Do I have to send him half of the money? Help?
No?
Just don't reply? Is that mean?
I don't Honestly, if this was me, it's nice that you offered your glass of wine. Maybe it was a if it's a ninety dollars bottle of wine, let's say a glass of wine at a huge stretch. A huge stretch was twenty bucks, right, that's what probably what you owe. If you want to be super nice, send him twenty But otherwise.
Just don't reply. Would you reply? I wouldn't. I actually don't know, which is why I wanted you to answer it first. All right, look, let me be harsher.
I wouldn't bother replying because you're never going to see the guy again and you don't care.
And also, he drank the fuck it. He drank a third of the bottle totally. He didn't ask you what you wanted. He ordered on your behalf. You asked and said you only wanted to have a glass. And then I mean, look, you shouldn't have said, oh, I'll transfer you for half of it. That's why he sent it to you.
But at the end of the day, sometimes it's okay to be a little bit of an asshole, and in this instance, I think it's fine for you to go.
Do you know what, I've changed my mind.
I don't want to transfer you a forty five dollars for something I didn't drink. Nah, I'm not doing it, and I don't care. I would not if someone told me that, I wouldn't be like, oh, you should have really pounds found.
Just what are your facials right there?
I just want to repeat what you did. You heard it here first, guys from Laura burn put that one on your bumper sticker.
You've actually disuaded me. But I always do this thing where I feel like, if I've said it, I would have just transferred the money, Like if I had said to him, hey, transfer me the money. I understand why she said it. That awkwardness at the end of the It's always that throw away thing where you're like, hey, let me know, I'll pay half, not ever expecting them
to make you do it. But then I there's a part of me that's like, oh, I probably should just pay for it, because I did offer it and I told him, and I don't want to be a knob. But then you've sort of changed my mind now, Laura, because I'm like, you know what you are right? He was a dick, the assumption that you were just going to get wasted. You even told him you were driving, and then he's like, no, fuck that you're going to leave your car, we're gone.
Back to get The assumption that he was going to get you drunk so that he could come back home to your house is pretty gross.
I mean it's small than pretty gross. We can all agree on that.
I just think sometimes, and this is very much a female trade, which we need to be better at. Sometimes we are so worried about offending people and we want to be nice, and we want to be you know, we want to be seen as being a nice person. So therefore we do when we say things that are beyond the scope of what we need to do and say I in this instance, you were like, oh let me know, and I'll transfer you for half a bottle. You went home, you thought about it. That is not
fucking happening. And you don't need to be the nice person in this equation. And yes he will think you're a dickhead. Yes he will be the one who feels like he's hard done by and maybe you should have given him fifteen dollars or twenty dollars for a glass of wine. Right, Sure, he's not going to be financially destitute because you don't transfer him for your one glass of wine. But he should really think about his behavior in trying apply someone for alcohol and get back to
their house to sleep with them. So I think that's way more problematic. And if it means that he loses out in fifteen dollars, but fucking him, I don't care.
Well, sorry, Like now I've just gotten real passionate about it.
No.
I also I'm on your team now. I think at the end of the day, it was a first date. He bought you a glass of wine. That's what this is. He was a first date that didn't go well. You didn't bube him. He bought you a glass of wine. You want your separate ways. I don't think you even need to reply now, even though the part of me is like, oh you did offer it this look him. Yeah, yeah, definitely put him on that website where where you say I went on a bad date with this guy. No,
I'm joking. Don't do that. Just don't pay. You don't have to pay for forty five bucks. But also it's a real lesson for us as women to realize and definitely gets easier with age, but to realize that when you don't have to be in a situation if you don't want to just because you said you would at the beginning. Like I get that you agreed to go on that date, and I get that you were there and you've ordered a wine. But the second that something
changes and you feel uncomfortable, you can fucking leave. Like you can be like, oh, you know what, we're on different pages, Like I wanted to come and get to know you. You've already said no, you're going to be drinking this whole bottle basically, so I can take you back and take advantage of you. You can get up and be like, hey, you know what, not for me, not for me? And I think that's a really important lesson to take home.
And also the other part I think on top of that lesson, but like if you say that you're going to do something and I know that, there's that whole saying like your word is your what is it?
Forgotten? It now? Okay? Gandhy you're a fire shoulday?
You know what they say something about your word being like one of the most important things you know. Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that your word is very much kind of links into your credibility. Right, So if you're someone who says something and does something else that makes you a brit of a shitty person.
Right, respectful if you follow through with you totally.
But in this instance, one, he's someone whose opinion you're not going to care about in the future. And two it's okay to say something in a moment and then have time to reflect and decide.
Actually, that's kind of unfair to me, and I don't want to do that anymore.
And sometimes you will have to make and have a conversation where you say, hey, actually I changed my mind and this is how I feel, and explain yourself. This is not one of those instances, I don't think, and you are not a terrible person by not transferring him the money. If it was a different situation, I might feel differently, but this specific situation I would not reply and I would just get on with my life and say, LEVI.
What a gross guy, though, got a gross So do you know what? That would have been hot? If you were into it and you had been seeing each other for a long time and like you were banging already. It would been hot if someone's like, finish up that bottox, I want to take care of a fuck you? Hot first date el ew ew okay, question number two. Johno's laughing in the corner. He's taking not all right.
My boyfriend of fifteen months is sweet, kind, generous, and patient. I, on the other hand, am passionate and fiery.
You sound toxic. I crave excitement and stimulation. Sounds like a cat.
I crave excitement and stimulation, but find my relationship very comfortable and complacent. My boyfriend has a good job and studies, but is happy to live a fairly simple life and doesn't push himself too hard. Despite this, he always goes above and beyond to make me feel special and loved.
It hurts so bad to admit, but I find myself feeling a bit bored and underwhelmed, almost as if I'm missing that spark I know from you guys better than to dream about the greener grass or go chasing butterflies and thrills. But I can't help but feel as there's a relationship out there that would make me happier. Am I being unappreciative?
What should I do? Stay with this sweet boy?
Oh?
That's so emasculating. Who is comfortable and safe or fine?
And someone who can match me intellectually and who I find and feel more chemistry with I.
Feel like we get versions of this question all the time, like it's such a common issue in relationships. But that's at the end of the day, what dating is. We date to find someone that is our match. That's the whole point. You don't just fall into a relationship and you're like, oh fuck yeah, Like this is tetris from day one. Like, no one wins Tetris in dating world from the get go. It's impossible. I mean some people do well. Mine always laid a cross ways across the
block and I never got them to line up. When I was dating. I could never nail tetris in the dating line.
Note, but I also think your twenties, that's for your fuck up years, Like you're six hundred. Some people get lucky and they meet someone, they settle down, they married the high school sweetheart. Great for those people. Other people, like us, have bad relationship after bad relationship after bad relationship until you accumulate all those lessons and then you go, I'm gonna have a good one now.
I just feel like if you're asking a question fifteen months into a relationship and you go, are still young. If you're asking a question and like, should I stay. I feel like there's more out there, and I don't like he's great but not great enough. I feel like that's your answer. Unfortunately, chemistry is not everything, but neither is he ticks boxes on paper. That's not everything. Also, and you can be the most perfect person, and I've
experienced it so many times. I've had someone say it to me before, someone say to me, you tick every box on paper. You're everything I want except except you. Not except you, just not. And it doesn't make sense because you should feel lucky to have these characteristics in a person and in a partner, somebody that loves you and looks after you. But that doesn't mean that they're your person. Just because someone looks after and loves you
and looks after you. There's one hundred people in the world that will love you and look after you in a different capacity. Some of them you're gonna vibe with and have so much more fun with and be more on the same path with for the future than others. If you are feeling after fifteen months that like, he's great, but I'm constantly wondering what else is out there, then unfortunately for me, I would say I would be going to look what else is out there.
This is such a hard question, and the reason why is because I think that there are multiple ways that we can give it. Like, I don't want to sit here and tell you that you shouldn't be in this relationship, because, like I said at the beginning, you could be the toxic one who needs to do some work, but you may not be you may genuinely be bored. And I guess firstly, what I want to say is you don't have to have a big reason or a big thing that goes wrong in a relationship to leave a relationship.
Often it can be the hardest to leave relationships where everything on paper is perfect, where you know that that person is an incredible person, they have done nothing wrong, they would love you endlessly and support you endlessly, but you just don't feel enough of whatever it is, or you haven't had enough of the excitement of the drama of other relationships to be able to value the stability
of the one you're in. Sometimes you've got to live a life before you can either appreciate what it is that this relationship might have been able to bring you. But also sometimes you just meet people and you have great relationships and something that you cannot describe. That tells you they are not the one, and sometimes you have to listen you know, well, I think you have to
listen to that. But those are I would say, some of the hardest relationships to leave because everything in your body says, but they're such a good person, so I should stay and I should be more appreciative, and there's something wrong with me, and why can't I just love them more? So that I want to give validity to you, because if that's where you're at, that's an incredibly hard place. But know that you can break up with someone without having a valid, solid reason, because the way you feel
is reason enough. But question number two and sort of other way of looking at this is depending on where you're at in your own personal self healing journey and everything else, you will always find a stable relationship boring at the fifteen month mark if they are healthy, stable, consistent, taking care of you, and don't.
Bring you the drama. And I say these agree with that.
No, no, no, I'm saying if you're not at a place a good place in your self healing. I say this from my personal experience because some people are attracted to the drama. They are attracted to the excitement the volatility in relationships, but they don't realize that that's what it is. And I think that that comes with like
the life lesson of repeating patterns in your relationship. I used to prioritize chemistry, this intense, like oh my god, I can't live without this person chemistry, but often it would result in volatility because the relationship itself spun around in toxic cycles. But I would have found a relationship like the one I'm in now with Matt, which is healthy, consistent, stable, loving, like I just feel so safe and calm. I would have thought it was boring. I would have thought, God,
that's such a sweet boy. I would have thought that in my twenties, and I've spoken about that before. I've said that had I met Matt earlier, he is too normal for me. And it was just lucky that I had been through all the shit that I'd been through that I finally got to my own place in myself
journey with relationships that I could value boring. So I think before you completely discard the relationship, really sit with yourself and question where you're at in your own personal life and what you need and what you seem to be drawn to in relationships and in people. And also can you get that stimulation, that excitement from other areas? Like does your boyfriend give you one thing and the rest of it you can get from your friends, from
your family, or from your own self. And if the answer to that is no, you don't get enough from him and you already get those things from your friends and your family and everyone else in your life, then he's not the right person for you.
Well, there's two standout things here, right, And like, I agree with everything you say, but for this specific question, she feels underwhelmed. She wants somebody to match her intellectually, and she's wondering if there's quote somebody out there that will make me happier.
I'm passionate and fiery, but passionate and fiery that is going to subside. Passionate and fiery. Fiery doesn't last in a relationship forever.
But you know what does is being able to match someone intellectually. And I truly believe that I have ended relationships in the past where I've felt like I was the same wavelength with somebody because we couldn't talk about the same things, because we didn't have interest in the same things because we didn't understand the same things. And that is when all else fades in a relationship, When the physicality fades and the chemistry and the spark fades, you don't have much left but to be able to
communicate with each other. And if you can't communicate, that's a big thing. If my partner had said to me, I'm constantly thinking if I would be happier with someone else, that's huge. Like if you really are constantly thinking about if somebody's better suited and what it's like to be with somebody else, you're not in that relationship anymore. One foot still in, but one foot's out, you know, one foot steal in the carpet, and one is just on
that grass ready to run. I would be one hundred percent considering that that is not the relationship for you. And I don't want to tell you to pack up and leave. But for me, those big things that you have said are big. I totally agree.
And you know, when I was in my twenties, the one very he was so good and I would have described him as a sweet boy. Oh my god, my ex he was such a lovely man. But I was bored shitless right, because I didn't need that at the time. I needed the fucking drama. But I remember sitting at my computer this one day and I was in this exact spot, and I was googling should I break up.
With my boyfriend?
We've all been in this spot, should I break up with my boyfriend? Because I couldn't. I was like, there's no reason to break up with him. He's amazing, and I just don't feel where I need to feel. And I remember reading this one thing and it said, if you're googling should I break up with my boyfriend, the answer is probably yes. Like you seeking that validation. That's a big red flag in a relationship. If you're constantly seeking validation.
What I think this girl's doing. I think a lot of the time, and I genuinely mean this, A lot of the time we get questions in I think to myself, this person already knows, like, this person's already decided, but they want that extra validation from someone that's not biased. I guess not a friend or a family member that's
going to say no, he's good for you. Stay. I often think that you guys running and deep down you probably know the answer and I don't know if you're hoping for the validation or if you're hoping to someone to tell you to stay. I don't know, but I think if you reread your own question in this in this instance, you will come to the same decision. You're like, Okay, I do think about being with people all the time. He is not a match for me on that level.
He's sweet and beautiful, but a lot of people are. I don't want to say lee, but I'd be considering that. Yes, I always feel bad when I say that, but I'm like, because you just we just blew up someone's relationship. No, they brewed up themselves. We just confirmed it's okay. Question number three, someone I follow on Instagram posted on their story that they're looking to set up their husband's best friend on a date. I love that.
I love that people on Instagram going, you know what, this is a good guy someone dating. I have a girlfriend who I want to try and do that with. In the Facebook group Chazzy do it, it's I want to find her a boyfriend. She was like, it's desperate times, desperate measures. I have an amazing friend and we need to find her a boyfriend.
I could try and s or someone maybe, Okay, we'll talk about that. Fitness. Yeah he loves to run. Yeah, I got someone. He hates running, but he's into fitness. Okay, okay, cool, talk to me out to the break, find me cool, guys. I'm gonna post Jazzy on the find me a boyfriend? Maybe, asked Jazzy first. No, she asked me to Okay, put it. Okay, I'm doing it. I'll got this to it tomorrow. Okay. So she listed all the qualities about him. He sounds wonderful.
So let's fast track. I'm texting this guy. We go on a first date. All is amazing. We both have really busy schedules, though, which are opposites, so it means we only share a few messages a day because I'm a fitness instructor, so I work the mornings and nights when he's at home. Anyhow, after not speaking to him for a whole day, he has sort of ghosted me. At this point, I accidentally sent my location on my
way to work. I sent him my live location at five am in the morning when he hasn't even replied to my last text. How does this happen? This is actually like an accidentally unfiltered. This is one of those moments where you're like, I don't even know if this is an asking cart. This is like what the fuck? He's not message me back, so I'm gonna send him my location come to me, daddy. You know this is
when you happens when you're talking to a friend. You want to talk about the relationship, so you go to the messages to check what the last message was. It's like, it's like going me saying, look, this is the last thing I wrote. So she's gone in and she's realized that she sent him the live location. What does she do at this point? Does she message him to pretend she didn't do it, does she message him and pretend she did mean to do it, or does she never
see this person again? Oh my god, just message and Sam, I'm so sorry to mean to send you that. It's also a bit late now it's probably been dated, yes, like a straight away right. I actually just think this.
Isn't accidentally unfiltered. I think this guy's gone yeah, but like who, I don't know. I know, I take that back because I do remember how much you obsess over every little detail at the beginning of dating someone. Like you obsess over Oh my god, did they find that message funny?
Was it not funny? Like? What do they think of this? What didn't they think of this?
I know that you feel like an idiot because you're so in your head about it, but I think sometimes we just need to take these things less seriously. Like you accidentally did something. You didn't send him a photo of your you know who. Ha, So just send him a text and be like, oh, sorry about that. I really didn't mean to send that awkward.
I probably wouldn't at this point because he ghosted you anyway. Yeah, like he ghosted you from your texting. You're sending me your location. If you wanted to turn up to where you were at five am, he could have, but he didn't. He was a sleeper, to be fair. He was like, I missed that one. Send again. I think that that ship may have sailed, and if it hasn't, you will hear from him again. He's a guy, he has a dick.
He's not irrelevant, no, but is pretty irrelevant. No, it is what I want to say, A guy with a dick or a guy without a dick. Whatever. Guys when they want something and they're interested in somebody, They're going a message, even if he thinks that your live location was weird. Even if he's weird, if he's interested in somebody, he'll still text you. He'll just be like, hey, sorry, was that meant for me? Like he's going to make contact.
The thing is is that if someone is really into you, thing that you do that someone who's not into you is going to think weird. They're not going to think it is weird. They're going to be excited that you've shown them interests. They're going to be excited that you message.
It doesn't matter what if you send an accidental message, even if it's like a dot, a full stop, whatever, their phone lighting up and it being your name on their phone, if they're into you, is going to make them excited and happy, and they're going to say, hey, was that meant for me?
They're going to write back. Right, if I was frothing a guy and he sent me his live location, I'd be there totally right.
And so the fact that you've sent it and he hasn't responded just indicates that he Unfortunately, and I know that this is harsh and I hate it, but it's the truth. He's not as into you as what you're into him, and so it might be awkward. He might have been like, oh no, why does she send me that wido? But that is an indication that he's just not at the place that you were at, and so maybe don't give this relationship any more airtime. Don't try and text him again. He knows where to find you.
And if he does really like you, but he knows where to find you, literally is is like, if he does really like you, let's just say that that saying is wrong, you know, And this is the bare minimum of effort that he puts in to try and maintain a relationship.
It's not gonna work anyway. So I think that this is a blessing in disguise. I'm just thinking because you can send two kinds of locations. You can send one that's like I just send you where I am now, But you can also send one where they can follow you for like twenty four hours, like has she set the location? That's like you can see where I am for a whole day if you would come find me whereover I am. That's so actually so funny.
I do wish and I'd say this is someone who can look at it from the outside, because I understand that it's so easy.
When you're in a good relationship. Thanks for the verse, Fuck off, Flora, But when you know do you know what I mean totally?
If it's so easy to give advice when you come from the comfort of like a nice, happy relationship. But I wish when I was dating I could have taken this part less seriously. I wish I could have enjoyed. I wish I didn't scrutinize over every text message. I wish I didn't get so worked up or like, oh my god, does he like me? Doesn't he like me? He hasn't messaged me for a day. I wish I could have just been more calm around those connections. But
I remember always feeling that franticness as well. So my advice in this is like, don't make this a bigger deal than what it is. It was an accident. It's not going to change your life in any years time. You're never even going to think about it, so just ignore it and move on.
I do want to also say, in relation to this is just a really generalized comment. How many people, my friends included, how many people say I don't get it though the date was amazing. We had fun, we talked, we had things in common. That doesn't necessarily translate to somebody wanting to pursue something with you, Like you can very easily go out and have an amazing date with someone knowing you don't want to take it further. I've
done that a hundred times. I've found somebody funny, the date's gone well, we've had the banter, but I'm like, there's nothing else there. But the date was great. So many people say, but the date was great, Why has any messaged me? They're just not interested. It doesn't have to be a personal thing either. You can I just wanted to really be driven home that you can have a great date and have fun with someone and they're not you. Penguin. Yeah, absolutely, okay. Fourth and last question
settle the debate between a girl and her partner. Is peen in the pool gross? He thinks that the ocean or the river is fine, but the pool is too far. I think that the pool is fine because it's usually treated for that stuff. Right, You're a pig ill. You're a pig ill.
My daughter pete in the bath the other day and I had to empty the whole bath out and refill it because he's like, you're not going to bathe you in your urine.
I'm shocked that there are people out there that think peen in a pool is okay, which is also alarming when so many of us have swum in public pools. You're literally just swimming in human piss and chlorine. Have you treated a piss? Anyone who's been to Bali? You know those big beach clubs, Ah a pool of piss. They are drunk partiers. It's a pool of piss. No, there is one in Hamilton Island, right, Okay? So last year Hatock Hamilton.
No, it was incredible. It was one of my most favorite places that I have ever been to. But I to one of the resorts that had to swim around pool. It's like a donut shape and the bars in the middle, and I.
Know the exact one. It was the consistency of soup.
I got in it and it was so warm, and there were men who had been in there and they were all drunk, and it was about five o'clock in.
The afternoon and they were like whoa blah blah. None of them got out and I was like, oh, you motherfucker' are pissing in this pool right now.
My kids are swimming around like something like Larley goes under has a mouthful of water. I was like, not okay, it's not okay. You are not alone if you think it's okay to piss in the pool. Everyone's doing it, which means that that chlorine is working real hard.
It's working overtime. It's the chlorine's not her question is it's okay because it's treated for that stuff? Right? No, yes, you put chlorine. Don't add to the proper It doesn't counteract. You don't do it doesn't bullshit. A weed does not come out. Do you reach through like this and the chlorine's like and deteriorates it as it shooks out. That's
not science, that's not physiology, that's not biology. That's you ain't happening if you wean a pool that we is in the pool and other people are swimming in it, so stop it, stop it, stop it. It is dispersed, though it's very very odd, it's okay to swim in dispersed urine. Laura, can you say dispersed again, diluted urine disperstur because I was gonna say diluted, and my brain stopped up.
Okay, I agree with your boyfriend, and I'm going to go back to how I originally answer this question.
You're a pig. Yes, ocean and rivers are fine, except I always think they attract sharks, so I also try not to do that. You can absolutely pee in the ocean, and you can absolutely pean a river. I just have it in my head that if I wi in a river, a bullshark will find me. I'm pitch fright of it. I don't know what it is. It's one of those myth things I think when you're a kid and you hear the pain attract shark, I think it does attraction. I think it does. I don't think that.
When you question that, you've got to remember you're also usually swimming at a beach with lots of other people who are also peeing in the ocean, so you hope a lot there's a lot of peace circulating around that area, so the sharks are coming whether you do it or not.
You know, I agree with your partner.
It's not very often that we get questions written in where I confidently and without doubt disagree with the person who has written.
In the question, Okay, can I tell you how confident this listener is. She's also said I thought this would be a good poll. She's co confident that people are going to be on her side with the poor wing that she has asked us to pole it. Here's my question for you. This is a real question. I'm not going to do a poo in the either, Laura, no farts and a ja.
No.
My question is would you ever pee in the bath? No, the toilet is next to them. I'm not a child, don't look like child. I would not so fresh faced white, thank you.
But you get in the bar, you get in the bath, and you need to wazy toilets, and then every person has to get out, and then we in the toilet.
What do you mean every person? How many people are in your bar? I know how I have a bath alone.
No, I just am asking the question because my kids always pee in the bath, and then I have to question myself as to whether I empty it.
Ninety percent of the time I don't. I'll just say, if you're in a pin in there, you can wash it. Sorry, it's too much. Our bath feels so slow. And if they're one of them, if the three year old's going to pee in the bath, I'm like, that's unfortunate. K. I'll just put a bit more palm olive on you today. That is a I'm just gonna roll you around in the olive oil. Two good poles here. One, do you pee in the bath? Do you pee?
No?
Would you pean the pool for this girl? Like, let's settle it for her because she obviously is not gonna believe about what we have said, so let's poll it. Two. Are you a mum if your kid peas in the bath? Do you empty it and refill it? Or do you let them bathe in it? Because that's a really good question because I know you're ninety nine percent of the time, I just let them bathe in it.
And it was only the other day when Lola stood up and confidently weed standing up in the bath. And then my my mother in law was like, we've got to empty and put new water it, and I was like why. She was like, she just weed in the bath and that's her problem.
I would probably empty. Yeah. Okay, Anyway, that's it from us today. If you have questions, keep please sending them in to Instagram. Life un Cut Podcast and just put usk on cut at the top. You're embarrassing stories, you're accenting unfiltered anything you want us to know that is happening in your life.
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