Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. It is Thursday. Thursday is the day before Friday, but Thursday is also Ask Uncut Day. It is our short, sharp, down and dirty, sexy and somewhat questionable Ask Uncut session. You guys write in your questions and we try our best to answer them.
I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And that was probably the best fucking intro you have ever done. I like that every week we commend each other on our intros, and that one was really spicy. I am here for it, thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you, please come again.
To be fair, like, we don't prepare these ever. We just come in and steamroll them out whatever comes off the tongue. But in like literally we just press record. We're like, let's go, look goes, you better make this good. And I was like, okay.
To be fair, though, we have been doing the exact same thing for two years now, so you would think that we were slightly more experienced at it, but apparently not. Anyway, I know that we have a couple of things to talk about before we get into answering all your deep, dark and dirty questions.
What have you been reading? What have you been thinking? I just think this is so funny. Now you had to. I know you've read it because we've chatted about it. You guys. I hope a lot of you are across it. But if you aren't, you may or may not have heard of Craig Kelly. Now, Craig Kelly is one of our very questionable politicians. He's a member of the United Australians Party and Craig Kelly has been doing us dirty. Now,
Craig Kelly thought it was a brilliant idea. I don't know where he got this from, but he thought it was a brilliant idea to send mass spam text messages to millions of Australians preaching misinformation about COVID. Now eight thousand people already have put complaints into the Spam Act Board. Now I didn't even know there was a Spam Act Board. But it's amazing what you can find out when you do some googling.
Usually we get these sort of messages from retailers or companies that we've shot with before. And there's and I know this because we do DMS with Tony May Like, there's legislation around what you can email the frequency, how you can actually get someone's data and then contact them so that you're not spamming someone to purchase a product. But interestingly, politicians are completely exempt from the Spam Act and so some of you guys might have even received
this text message. But this is what a lot of Australians woke up to one day. You can never trust the Liberals, Labor or Greens again. Authorized by Craig Kelly, United Australian Party. Click on this link and then it's got a link to whatever they're inside is okay. He's like the u uptext from the guy that just won't leave you alone. That's the last message you want to receive when you wake up in the morning, and it's just the most annoying thing.
Is usually like you to said Laura. If you get a text message or an email or someone from a company that's just hassling you, there's always a big fat unsubscribed button at the bottom. You cannot unsubscribe from Craig Kelly. Now, something brilliant has happened in response, and this has got to be the best response I have ever seen in the history of responses. There is a party that has come out and they're very absolutely named cock block Craig Kelly. Now say that ten times fast. I d cock block
Craig Kelly. Now this party has decided. They've put a GoFundMe out, They've put a call out. They're like, guys, you can donate to this party because in response to Craig Kelly, we decided to raise fifteen thousand dollars so that we can send him to his place of residence
one thousand dicks, like literally a thousand dicks. They are fundraising to have a thousand dicks, and I mean dix is in like their dildos, their little dildos, they're big dildos, the different sizes, and they wanted to deliver them to his door. And I was like, this is the best thing that has happened this year. This is literally the call to action of the website. If we can't stop the UAP from texting us with dangerous misinformation, then we reckon.
The next best thing is to deliver Craig a message he can't ignore, a very big bag of dicks. Politician parties are exempt from anti spammres. Craig Kelly is.
Using this loophole to spread health and miss information that puts everyone at risk.
The funniest part of this, though, and it does get funnier, is that somehow someone has released Craig Kelly's number to the population, so people start to spam him back with messages. So he changed his number. Obviously, that's what you're going to do, because you can't have a whole nation spamming you. He changed his number, and there are company is that keep finding out his number and they keep releasing it
so he can't escape. He's being bombarded daily with text messages back, and some of them there are websites with him. Some of the text messages back are so fucking funny. But look as funny as it is to laugh at the fact that we are bombarding him with text messages and we're asking you to donate. This party's asking you to donate money so that they can send a bag of dicks. Something good actually is coming out of this, because Cockblock Craig Kelly will actually donate seven dollars to
a charity immunizing people against coronavirus in developing countries. So for every single donation you do, they're going to donate seven dollars to immunizing people. So basically the pro of this is Craig gets sent a bunch of dicks, we stop him from sturming misinformation and developing countries and getting immunization. So I feel like this is a win win situation.
I think it's wild though, because like Craig has actually doubled I like, though we took calling him first name, like Craig, he's just our mate now. So Craigy, Craigy boy, Craigie boy, has doubled down.
He has doubled down.
He's like, I'm not doing anything illegal, so therefore I'm not going to apologize for spamming the Australian nation. And it's like, no, you're not doing anything illegal. You are pursuing a loophole that exists in the Spam Act, and.
You're fucking annoying.
Yeah, And it's annoying, Like even if you are somebody who is a supporter of UAP, you're entitled to have your own political parties, you didn't opt in to receive text messages, and it's just so intrusive. I think the big question that everyone has is how did the UAP go about acquiring these phone numbers in the first place, and was how they acquired those phone numbers legal? And I'm going to say that most of us consent to
our information being used almost daily without realizing. Like often when we all visit a website, we'll just tick like, yeah, okay, except cookies. Accept this, except that because we want to be able to go and visit the website. Like it's almost a subconscious thing that sometimes we opt into without realizing.
But it just goes to.
Show how our information can be used by things that we have absolutely never engaged in and have no interest in receiving.
They actually make it that now that you've talked about cookies, they make it so hard on any website, Like no, I feel likes History Dairy, it's so great. I have the article up in front of me right now about Craig Kelly, and at the bottom of it, I'm looking at it. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience. I'm like, is this Craig Kelly? I was like, is this is this? Employ if you
try to suck me in? But if they make it so hard, and sometimes they give you the option, they're like, hey, you can also customize your cookies. If you want. They make it so hard to customize a cookie that you just don't do it. You're like, just let me into the side, Just take all my money, take my information, take my pass codes, just let me read the news article.
And you're like, I'm sorry, you're not using You're not using these cookies to optimize my experience. You're using these cookies to fucking seldom me.
I am not an idiot. I run a podcast.
I know what I'm talking about, goddamn it, and steal steal my identity. Do you know what happened to me once? Speaking of sending someone a bag of dicks? Though after The Bachelor finished and I was living in Rushcatas Bay, I got sent a bag like I'm talking like a kilo of confetti?
Dis what from who?
Yeah, still don't knowe who?
Like you don't know who? Said to me?
No, So I received I received a parcel in the mail, a kilo parcel in the mail, and it was a box and basically like the way that you opened it, the box disintegrated and a fucking kilo of glitter confetti dix exploded out of this box all.
Over my apartment.
And I have no idea who.
Sent it to me at all.
There was no information, there was no note, nobody came to claim it on social media afterwards. No one was like, ha haha, those dicks are from me.
Yeah.
I was still picking dicks out of like the crease in the floorboard for about six months before I moved out.
This is so weird because I mean, I wonder what the means behind this was. Was this someone that was like happy for you and was a celebration like you won the dick? Or was it someone was there someone that's like, you, guys are the biggest fucking dick, so he's a bag of dicks? Like what was that? I don't know if this is a positive or a negative. I think it.
Has to be a negative. I think the connotations of sending someone a kilo glitter dick is definitely not positive, Like there's nothing about that, even though it does feel very celebratory and I quite enjoy a dick let alone, probably about three million of them. Yeah, it was really really inconvenient trying to vacuum off a kilo of glitter dicks off the floor and out of the carpet.
Okay, so it was probably the least she came runner up to She No, but how do you get I don't know, like, how did they even get your address? The how much effort they went to to do that? Did they cut throughout themselves? Do you is there a website you can go and order a pre made bag of confetti dicks? I don't know. There are so many questions I have in this story. It would really bother me.
And I would actually be a bit weirted out if that got sent to me, if someone said if I didn't know as well, like I was like, how do you know where I am? And how do you know that I love dicks? Like, but you'd be weirded out because someone's found your dress nothing more festive than a kilo of glitter dis Yeah, look, I mean we can unpack all of like the more sordid side of these.
Nothing happened, like, nothing came of it. I didn't feel threatened that somebody found my address. It arrived in daylight. Yeah, look, I've I've kind of moved past it. The most annoying thing was just that there were dicks everywhere. It was like Mardi Gras, but in my bedroom.
And you never got anything else again.
No, that was it one box of dicks, done and dust and well played anonymous human.
Well played. Anyways, I feel like that is enough.
Let's get into the questions that we have picked out. Britt hit me with question number one.
Okay, question number one, all right, this is a really big one, so I want your full attention. Please, Laura help. I'm in a really shitty situation with my parents and I don't know how to deal with it. Quick backstory. I had a great childhood. My parents always provided for us. I thought the world of them. I consider them to be really good, respectful people. Space until now space. I wanted to put the space in for dramatic effects because
she separated this by paragraphs. I am thirty, I have a partner, a two year old and another baby on the way. My partner and I have very similar values and ideas on how we want to raise our kids. Over the past couple of years, I have come to realize that my parents are actually very, very racist. And I don't mean casually or unconsciously. They are just flat out racist. This does not sit well with me at all.
I have zero tolerance for it, and I have brought it up with them multiple times at gatherings they just don't seem to care about my opinion, and it always becomes a me problem. I'm a fully grown adult, capable of making my own decisions and can choose to block out the things they say. But my concern is that they say these things around my two year old son, who is now confidently speaking and learning about the world. I don't want their opinions to influence him in any way.
They only see him once a week, but it's still enough to have me pretty worried. To put it into perspective, if they were my friends, I would have won hundred percent cut them off by now. But because their family, I feel like I make a lot of exceptions for them. I want my kids to have a relationship with them, for sure, but not if they become such a bad influence. Now my question is it fair for me to start
distancing myself from them over something like this. I'm fully prepared to not have them in my life as I don't provide anything positive to it, and more often than not, my interactions with them are negative and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I really worry about the impacts of my children too. A similar thing happened when I confronted them about smoking around my child. It didn't end well, and I was the one made out to be a horrible, selfish person. What do I do? Am
I allowed to cut them off? Do I stay? Do I talk about it? Or I just do I just ignore it?
Oh, I'm fike sad for you. That's such a shitty situation to be in, you know, I think it's interesting. I think as we get older, our parents can either impress us or we can become really disillusioned with who we thought they were or what totally their outlook is on the world, you know, as we kind of form more independent ideas and as we show up to the world as the world currently is. I think that you know a lot of parents, and I think I don't
think that this woman would be alone. I think that there's a lot of people who would see their parents or their grandparents as being racist and it being partly a condition of the world that they grew up in. But that doesn't make that an excuse and nor does
that make that acceptable. And I think if you're feeling this strongly about it, then you absolutely I mean, firstly, you don't need us to tell you that you can make whatever decisions you see fit for your own children like that, if you need to protect your children and do what's right for your children, you don't need us to tell you that that's an acceptable thing as a parent to do. Is there ways that you can work
around this? Maybe, but I think it comes down to having a really honest conversation with your parents about what it is that upsets you. And if they don't want to accept that, or if they gas at you, or if they say that there's no issue or that their views are not problematic, then that leaves you with a
pretty hard choice to make. And if I was in your position, I would be putting my children first, because I would expect that after I had at least explained to my parents why it upset me so much the way that they were behaving in the things that they said, I would expect them to at least take that on board and try and implement some changes.
I agree with everything you just said, and ultimately you're going to do what's best for your children. But it makes me sad to think you've said that you want your children to have a relationship with your parents, but you said you're just also easy to cut them off. I do think there is a way, and this is
we can only go off what you've told us. Obviously, we don't know what other stresses you have in your relationship and what you guys have been through, but from what you've said, there are definitely ways that you can keep them having a relationship your parents and your children and also monitor what's happening. And maybe that just means that I think to start with, you definitely have the conversation.
Like Lauri said, you say like I'm not happy with this, I really appreciate If you don't do this while they're around, it means a lot. If they're going to ignore you, then there's not much you can do other than take control of the situation and either take your kids away
from it or be there with them. What I would suggest you try to do is after you've had the conversation, maybe if you're saying that they're only seeing them once a week as it is, maybe you all just hang out together instead of dropping the kids off for a
day and letting them have their alone time. Maybe you're just there with them and you all hang out, so you're watching what's happening and they're still developing this situation with their grandparents, but you're aware and you're overseeing what's happening. I know that I didn't really have a relationship with my grandparents growing up. I didn't have grandfathers on either side, and my both grandmothers they lived six hours seven hour drive away, so we didn't have a close relationship. And
I remember always wishing I did. I wish that I was like all my other friends, I had this really close bond. So I think there is a part of it that's pretty important if you can maintain that bond, but only if you can do it in a way that you're happy with. Ultimately, you're in charge of bringing your children up the way that you see fit totally.
Have you ever had to end a friendship or distance yourself from someone who's a family member because their views or their racism came a real point of contention in your relationship.
I actually haven't. I've had some heated conversations before with family members where we've we've highly disagreed on something, but we always listen to each other speak, and we try to listen to why we have that reason, and we try to educate each other. I'm really lucky that The way that my family works is if we're proven wrong or we take something on board that someone else has said with a lot of research and a lot of heart, like, we will listen to that. But we've definitely had arguments
about it with extended family. But I'm lucky that I've never had anything where I've like, I have to cut you off. It's never been that extreme.
Yeah, I guess like I've never ever had to cut someone off either. My grandparents, who were so fundamentally in raising me, like I honestly, my grandma and my grandfather were parental figures in my life. They had some pretty problematic views, and when I was younger, I didn't really realize that their views were problems, but as I became older, I was like, oh, backing Pauline Hanson, and I know that for my grandfather. So just a bit of context
for this. My grandfather was born in Italy. He immigrated here when he.
Was a child.
He was severely bullied when he was a child and was made to assimilate, so he completely just forgot about his Italian heritage. He never went back to Italy, he refused to speak Italian. He never taught any of his children Italian. We never learned Italian, and he would say he was a blue collar worker Australian. And I think that his level of racism came from this idea of like, well, I assimilated, so I expect other people to assimilate. And
it was very problematic for me. We would have quite a few debates because he saw the world very differently to me. Now in saying that my grandfather passed away in his nineties last year. We were still incredibly close, but there were some things that we just couldn't speak about because we wouldn't see eye to eye on them, and it would upset him that I saw things so differently.
It would upset him that I was like, stop fucking voting for Pauline Hanson, and it would upset me because I don't see the world in that way and we're very very different people when it comes to that. But I think that that is probably my experience with my grandparents is probably something that is shared by a lot of people, and I think that just because that experience
is probably common doesn't mean that it's okay. But in the same instance, I wasn't going to cut my grandparents out, who raise me and who I have this incredible bond with. The difference in this situation is the fact that you're saying you don't get anything positive from the relationship and that their views and the way that they behave is so much of an issue that you're worried about it having an impact or affecting the mental health.
Of your child.
If that's truly a deep concern of yours, and if you are walking away from these interactions with your parents feeling like they provide nothing positive, then I absolutely think that you have to make an executive decision and create a safe space for your children, a space where they're
not being raised thinking that those viewpoints are acceptable. And so, like you said, Britt, you know, when your children are seeing their grandparents, you could be there, and that way you have a better understanding of what the conversations are and you have a better understanding of what impact their
views are having on your children. Secondly to that is that you can also have these conversations with your children as your kids get a bit older and as they start to see the world and they start to interpret what's going on around them, explaining to them that the things that their grandparents are saying is not correct and calling out their grandparents whenever they do say this stuff
in front of you. So it really sets a precedent for your children that these are not views that we share, and these are not views that we accept by challenging them outwardly, I mean, you know you've said that you can accept that when they say it or like it
doesn't affect you and you can ignore it. Maybe it's more a case of not ignoring it and anytime that they do say something, challenging them on it, and if they're not accepting or they're not okay with your challenging on it, then making a point that these conversations or racist comments are completely off the table in front of your children. Ultimately, the hardest part here in the reason why this is such a difficult question to answer, is
because it's not just your friends. It's not someone who you can easily cut out of your life. And I think you know there is an expectation that if your friends are casually racist, that you call them out on it, and that if they don't change their behavior, if they're flippant about that, that you know, in order to be an ally to minorities, in order to be able to stamp out racism and the way that it presents itself
in modern society. Then you do have to make very hard decisions to say I don't want to associate with people who are okay with that sort of language and are okay with those principles. It is incredibly hard to do that when it is your own parents. So I think the very first thing you do is outline what isn't isn't okay for you. If you can't change their mind, at least telling them how fundamentally it goes against what you believe in and how you want your child to
be raised. And if they gaslight you, if they choose not to accept this, if they think it's not a problem at all, and then you decide that you don't want your children to have a relationship. That's not your fault. More than anything, As a parent, your absolute number one priority is to take care of your children and to provide an upbringing for them that you know is setting them up to be the best person that they can be.
Very well, said Laura. I actually don't know what else I would add to that, other than you know, the way to break this mold and to break what's happening in society is with the next generation, that is with our children. So it's so important to be instilling those values now. So if that's something you really believe in, don't be scared to drive that point home and don't be scared to make the hard decisions that you need to do.
Alrighty, I feel like we've answered that one, So let's go to question at number two.
Okay, question number two. Hey, ladies, I have a question, and I'm a little embarrassed to ask it, as I feel like this shouldn't bother me as an adult, but I feel really left out at work. There's a big group of people that always seem to be hanging out together. I see them post dinners and picnics on the weekends. They often have drinks after work, but I'm never invited. I don't know if this is because they don't like me. I don't know if I've done something in the past.
How can I approach this as I would love to be more included. I would love to make some friends at work. What do you think about that? This is a tough one because anything to do with friendships as an adult is really hard. Yeah.
I also think, like we've spoken about this so much on the podcast. It's so hard to make friends as an adult, especially because people are already so set in their friendship groups. People don't want to open themselves up to new people because there's only so many hours in the day that people have for their friends as it is, especially when you get to a certain age, and more than likely they I don't think when you've said, like, have I done something wrong? Or how do I approach this,
I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think they probably haven't even noticed that that's what they're doing.
I agree, and I think I think this is a pretty easy one. Ultimately, what you can do, if you want to be a bit more included is invite them to your own dinner, invite them to your own coffee on the weekend, invite them for a walk, even if that's just one or two girls or one or two colleagues, and build it from there. But that way, you're going to show them an interest that hey, like, I'm here and I actually do want to hang out, because they might not think you even want to hang out with
them like. This could work both ways. They could be like, oh, Holly never wants to hang out with us. So we just won't invite it. You don't know which way it goes. Another thing that I think you can do, and I was just thinking about this. I don't seem to be any different. If you matched with a guy online, right, and you're like, you really liked him, you really wanted to hang out with him, what would you do. You would probably go on his Instagram, You'd probably have a stalk.
You'd see what he's into, and you'd probably try and drop that in the conversation. So you'd be like, oh my god, you surf and love bort A colleagues as well. This is so manipulative, britt No.
But it's true.
You're like, oh you surf as well. I love that. I also love rock climbing, Like, let's totally do that. There's actually no reason you can't do that. If you go onto your friend's page and you know they're all rock climbers, why can't you say, Hey, guys, I'd love to go rock climbing with you. I've been meaning to
get into it for a while. You've got to have some commonalities, you've got to have things similar for you guys to bond over, because there's no point going in and hanging out with a group of people when none of you like the same stuff, you've got nothing to talk about. So as much as you laugh about Laura as if that is not what everyone does online when you're trying to match someone, you trying to go on a date with someone, I don't think it has to be any different with a friendship.
But I okay, no, I agree. It doesn't tell them you did it.
Don't tell them.
Just slide into their DMS at two in the morning with a U up text message.
I agree.
Look, I think, like I said, I don't think that it's necessarily an intentional thing that they're doing, but it very well might be. Like it may be that you work with a whole lot of bitches who don't want to open up their friendship group, in which case, if you do put in some effort, and you do try and kind of create space for them to come do something with you on the weekend, invite them out for
drinks or go for dinner, whatever it is. If they then don't come to the party, or if they don't invite you back, I do think there comes a point where you don't have to keep on putting in this energy and like I almost want to say, like, don't compare or don't feel disheartened because they have a friendship and you're not a part of it. If they don't invite you in, that's not a reflection of you. It's
more a reflection of them. And unfortunately, it's not always going to be a case that in every environment that we're in, we're going to make friends with the people that we work with, or we're going you know, because you've been thrust together. It's like you didn't pick these people that you're working with. You've all been put together and they're just naturally gonna Sometimes you're actually going to
click with someone more than somebody else. So maybe the girls who work at this office have been working there longer, maybe they are really close friends and it's a very hard friendship group to penetrate. But I just don't want you to feel that your self worth is rocked by their lack of interest or their lack of friendship.
A good way to infiltrate the squad is to pick one off when they're alone, Get them because they're more weak. So when you're see an outline, when you see one that's not with the group, go be like, hey, I'm just go and grab a coffee. D want me to grab you one and just like worm you weighing, because once you're in with one, I feel like you're in with all of them. So that's what you've got to do.
Pick the weakest link, buy them for coffee, make them love you, and they'll bring you into their inner circle.
Normally, for all of our questions, we say just go communicate conversation. I think in this instance, the last thing that you want to do is like sit them down and make an issue about it, Like you don't want to sit down and be like, hey, I actually noticed that you guys haven't been inviting me into things, and i'd really appreciate it if you included me, Like, do not do that.
It's social suicide. Please please never ever do that. That is I mean, we're all for communication, except in this instance.
You don't want to be invited and get a pity invite. That's not why you want to be invited. You want to be invited because they're stoked to hang out with you and be friends with you. So I think the best thing you can do is, obviously, like brit said, you know, invite them. Try and create or create an event, do something you know, whether it's just something easy like going out for dinner or drinks or something together or
having a picnic on the weekend. If you're the one that creates the event and then they all come, that allows you to kind of, you know, build that friendship. But if you've created the space and they haven't come to the party, unfortunately, there's not a lot more that you can do.
Anyway, I feel like we've wrapped that one up. Make sure you're not lazy. Pick the weakest link. Buire a coffee, maybe even cooks muffins and bring them to work and win them over with food.
Just don't guilt them into inviting you Question number three. I'm in a happy relationship of almost three years. I have plenty of guy friends and we are all good in the trust department. Our relationship is amazing. However, I recently worked with this guy and we hit it off. He started messaging me and we have now been talking for a week straight. Nothing inappropriate but just general chat
in long paragraph messages. I really like talking to people and making new friends, but I'm starting to get concerned that he may feel this is going somewhere else. So my question is, how do I say I have a boyfriend without it coming out like I'm assuming that he's hitting on me. Should I have brought this up sooner?
And if this is inappropriate on my behalf side? Note, my boyfriend knows that we've been chatting because I've told him, maybe he doesn't know the extent, though I have absolutely no inappropriate feelings towards this new fella, and I know I probably should have somehow mentioned the boyfriend thing a little sooner.
I feel like straight away, yes, you probably should have mentioned the boyfriend sooner. Absolutely, And my number one training to thought in these situations is if you have to ask if you're doing the wrong thing, and if you feel like you might be doing the wrong thing, and if you feel like you need to tell someone you have a boyfriend, then chances are it's highly likely you should have told him you had a boyfriend, and you are doing the wrong thing. I find this quite strange.
I and I mean strange in the sense of I think it's so fine to have friends of the opposite sex. I think it's fine to meet new people. But if you've started to text a guy and you are that good at friends with him to the point that you
want to have that communication. For sure, it's unusual that the fact that you don't have a boyfriend hasn't come up yet, because I think like, if you form a friendship with someone, you should that's like the base knowledge, that's like the foundation of Hey, my name is Brittany. I have a boyfriend called Jordan. I live in Bondo Beach. Like, I feel like that's how you get to know someone. It's it's the biggest part of your life, so it's what you're going to be talking about. I wonder why
it hasn't come up yet. I wonder if you've been joy that that level of attention and flirtiness and excitement or speaking to someone new, which is so fine. We all have those cravings. But to answer your question, it definitely needs to come up. And I don't think it has to be that big of a deal. I don't think you have to be like, look, I can tell you're flirting with me. I just need to tell you I have a boyfriend. I think it just has to be like, what do you get doing on the weekend.
He's like, oh, I'm going camp, and you're like, oh, my boyfriend's actually taking me to dinner. We're celebrating this. It is that such an easy drop to say that I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend. It doesn't have to be awkward, It doesn't have to make him. You don't have to sit him down and be like we need to talk, just throw it out there.
Like, I one hundred percent agree. I think the more that like, the weirder that you're making it, the more of a problem. It seems like this is like, you know, would you have a problem telling a girl that you like as in like, oh, I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend. Whatever it is, Like, I think, because it's become such an issue, it makes me think not that I'm saying that you're doing anything wrong or that like you have feelings there. You've made it pertinently
clear that you don't. But who cares if he assumes that you think that he likes you? Like, why do you care if he thinks that?
Anyway?
I think you could attack this either way, Britt, I'm one hundred percent with the way that you said it. I do think that it can be literally a nonchalant thing or like I'm doing this with my boyfriend on the weekend, or alternatively, if you do think maybe he's interested, you can just send him a text message and say, hey, I really felt like I should let you know, just in case you are getting the wrong impression about this, that I have a boyfriend. Either of those things are
completely fine, because I mean, what's gonna happen. The only thing that's going to happen is that the longer he assumes you don't have a boyfriend, and then if he actually starts hitting on you, he's gonna feel embarrassed that you didn't tell him sooner, or you're gonna be in a situation where you've led him astray, which I think you don't want that to arise, So just fucking tell him.
It's not a big deal. Like, both options the fine, but definitely do option one. It's not a big thing. But the fact that you feel a little bit inside you like, oh is this the wrong thing? Am I doing it?
Thing?
Then you probably are like the reason we get those feelings. We are humans, but we have these feelings inside because they're trying to tell us something, and I think all too often we choose to ignore those because we want to write our own narrative. We want to believe something else is happening. We don't want to believe the truth. But you have those gut instincts and those feelings for a reason.
And also, I mean, I'm all for the fact that you can be friends with a guy one hundred percent, but very few guys out of nowhere will invest that much time into texting back and forth with someone who they don't know, like, unless that friendship.
Isout wanting to bang them.
Yeah, unless that friendship has been built on a different foundation, as in like friends of friends. I feel like if he thinks you're single, this level of investment is not because he just wants to be friends with you. I think he probably already has his own friends, or he would have made it known that he's not interested in you, because I don't think he would want that to be If he's not interested in you, he wouldn't want that
to be ambiguous either. If you are starting to feel that that's where the text messages are going, then I would say trust her intuition.
That is probably the case.
And you just don't want to be in a situation where you're doing the wrong thing by your partner or in a situation where you feel guilty so as much as yeah, maybe it should have come up a bit sooner, probably, But I think we've all been in this situation before, where we've been texting with a guy who's our friend and then started to think, oh, or a girl, like I mean, it doesn't it's gender is irrelevant, but like started to think, oh, I feel like these maybe they've
got the wrong impression, or maybe this is heading somewhere where I wasn't expecting.
I'll always say this, but I think it's really important to put yourself in your partner shoes. How would you feel if he was texting another girl he said, hey, I'm texting I. She's a friend from work, but you found out that I was texting way more than he ever told you, to the fact that he had never told her he had a girlfriend, you would be like, why the fuck haven't you told her about me? Why don't if she's just your friend, why don't you exist? I just feel like it's a recipe for disaster. I
wouldn't like it if Jordan was doing that. Actually, I'd probably be like, why why the hell are you doing that? I was awful you're having friends, that's fine, but there comes a point in life where you just don't do that. You just don't do that in a relationship to your partner.
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