Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.
I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha filling in for Laura today because very excitingly, I mean, there's kind of this whole other side. I know that everyone who listens to the podcast knows that Laura has Tony made.
A double life. Yeah, she fully has a double life, and.
I do think that very excitingly Tony may drops two collections a year. Today just so happens to be one of those days where she's dropped a brand new collection and a little bit of insight into you know, how.
This little team works. I don't know how the hell Laura does it.
We don't know how the hell we work at all, full stop, Like we don't know. We scratch our hands every single week.
Every single time.
But part killie when I consider that Laura has two completely separate businesses.
She also has two young children. Like I just I genuinely I don't know when the woman sleeps.
A Kisha has stepped on him for her And we love having you, hear keys. You always happen to fall on a Thursday, though, don't you? It never falls on a Tuesday.
I know, and I feel a little bit gypped, because not that I don't love asking, don't get me wrong. The reason that I mostly feel a bit gypped is because usually on a Thursday, we don't do Accidentally Unfiltered or the brand new segment confessionals, even though I'm often the one who will read your messages on Instagram and kind of say, oh, this person sent in this hilarious accidentally unfiltered.
Anyway, someone has sent in a confessional.
Basically, what you're trying to say. She's basically trying to say, is you want your time to shine, you want to read a confessional. I can tell no, I don't want my time to shine.
I want my.
Time to share. Because sometimes I'm not even joking. I would just be sitting there. When I used to have housemates, I used to know that they hear me just start cracking up laughing from my bedroom, and they would be like, she's reading messages for work, She's reading those things that people send in. Someone sent in a confessional that actually had me gasping for air. I was laughing that hard at and I would love to share it if I'm allowed to, even though it's a Thursday.
I want to break the rules.
Before you share it, I want to ask you something. I want to know, how has this week been for you? Because it's Freedom Week in New South Wales. You more than anyone you have had every lockdown in Australia, I think because you just moved around. How did you feel about it?
What did you get up to a bit of context about that is that I went through the whole Victorian lockdown last year, which was an absolute shit show and a half. So for any of our Victorian listeners, I feel you because I was there with you and listening to Laura talk about how, you know, coming out of lockdown she actually felt for the first time that she had a little bit of social anxiety. I really really know what she was talking about, but for me, it
happened last time. So I went through the Victorian line and then I went into hotel quarantine. And when I came out of hotel quarantine, I was like, this doesn't make any sense to me. I'm such an extroverted person. I've been locked up for literally months and I feel so weird being around people. I feel like I don't want to make plans, I don't want to go out and socialize. And it was really really odd this time around.
I was at the pub on Monday night. You were like straight out there.
I was honestly like, where can I have my first sip of a beverage in a venue surrounded by people? And I went to the Clavelli Hotel, which is a couple of suburbs down. I could hear all of these men that had just been like having drinks together. They were a bit drunk, and I saw these really young boys with Vogka raspberries in their hands, and I was like, ah, nature is healing.
What was the general vibe? Were people just frothing or were people still like people cautious of COVID? Like could you see? Was there like a feeling of people not really knowing how to act normal, like they've been keipt up for too long?
I don't know.
I mean I think that there's quite a few mixed opinions. I've definitely spoken to some of my friends that have been like, I'm not ready to go out yet, Like I just I still am a little bit worried. I guess for me, I kind of have a bit. Maybe I feel a little bit more secure because you know, I am jabbed and I'm kind of like Yeah. Cool, Like risks are a lot lower and I'm ready to get back out there and do my fang.
Yep, get back on the horse. What you really mean is it's time to get back on the dating scene.
Yes, I'm absolutely ready for my hot girl summer. The one thing that has been a little bit disappointing about this freedom week is that all of a sudden, the weather has turned to shit. And I mean like it's raining and cold, and it's just raining all day for the next week.
So it's put a little bit.
Of a dampener, quite literally on the spirits.
It's always like I didn't want to give you everything all once. It's like we don't want to give you complete freedom, like we still want to semi keep you inside. So here is a downpour.
Yeah, I think something that we'll be keeping the numbers down is the fact that no one wants to go outside right now. But I have a question that is so important brit that I need your wisdom and I need your advice on well.
Like this is ask I'm card I give my wisdom out every Thursday. What do you need to know?
Okay, I don't know if you because you've only been back in Australia for a little bit. Blueberries have been weirdly cheap for quite some time. Blueberries and strawberries you can get them for like two dollars a punnet, and I have been eating upwards of a punnet a day. However, I have a question for you. This particular punnet of blueberries that I have just gone to eat, I've opened and I must have had them for maybe three days. They've been sitting on the bench, so I haven't refrigerated them.
One of them has mold on it.
Oh, you want to know if i'd eat the other ones?
Do you If one of the berries has mold on it, can you just discard that blueberry?
Slush strawberry? It's happening in both punnets.
Can you just get rid of that one and the rest of fine? Do you eat the rest of the punnet or do you throw the whole thing away?
This is actually a good question. This has happened to me before with strawberries. It happens with that as well, because sometimes you'll just get like one really bad strawberry and the other ones are Okay, I think what I think at this point of my life. Okay, in the olden days in my youth when I was a sprightly young thing with no money.
When you were poor and you couldn't afford to buy another punnet, and.
I was poor and like a young unichhoodent and you know you don't have because I used to be like six dollars upun it, I probably would have just Okay, when I say probably, I did. You just throw the bad one out and you eat the rest. You give them a rinse, You give them a rinse under the water, just to be sure. But now I just wouldn't do it. If there's one that's moldy, I just couldn't. I would just think that there is mold on the other ones that might be so small and significant that I can't
see it yet, and it just freaks me out. And like, I'm not at a point now where I have to eat moldy food, like I can. I can throw it out.
And it must be nice to be at the point where you don't have to eat the moldy blue bear.
It's a really great place to be in live. Yeah, So I would probably not eat the mold if there was something in there that was moldy and just be in the bin for me. What. I feel like you are going to eat it.
Look now that I'm actually making my way through the entire punnet, I've just picked out three that have mold on them. Still, there's some that are really nice and firm and taught, and I'm like, that one looks great.
Nah, chuck them.
I'm going to risk it to get the biscuit.
And I don't know if I'm in the point where I have to worry about how expensive blueberries are.
Firstly, they're very cheap at the moment.
Secondly, I'm earning money, so like, my life isn't that dire.
But Keisha, you live in Bondai Beach. You've got it. You've got a job, and you just said the pannet of blueberries was two dollars. Throw the punnet out. It's got mold on it. I will shout you a new punnet it's on me.
Oh, that one's got a lot of mold on it. Yeah, No, I think this punnet's done.
There is a bit. I'm literally feeling sick as I look at this. She's holding them up to me, and I'm like, I'm like, woman, are we not paying you enough?
All right?
Let me hear it? What is your confessional keche.
Oh, I forgot. I haven't even told you yet.
Okay, this has got me so excited. Thank you for welcoming me to the brand new segment. If you have a confessional, please slide on into the DMS at Life Uncut podcast on Instagram. We get a lot of messages where people are like, I don't know where to send this.
Just send it, just type the message.
It's also funny because every episode we tell you were to send it and people go, hey, is this where I send it?
I'm like, yes, girl, right here, drop it in. Okay. This one had me literally in stitches laughing.
I was out one night and ended up back at a guy's house for drinks. All the guys were around the fire and I went to the bathroom to check myself out. I was totally wasted. My makeup was absolutely nowhere. I hadn't fake tanned or really prepared for the night as it was spontaneous and look, I knew I wasn't looking my best. I thought I could fix the situation if I could just find a little bit of foundation or maybe some bronza.
In this man's bathroom.
Yeah, in this guy's bathroom hoping this guy had a sister.
I started looking in the bathroom drawer and cupboard.
I couldn't find anything except for some better dean.
I don't know what came to me, but I proceeded to rub the dark yellow antiseptic solution all over my body.
Trying to give myself that bronzed, glowy, freshly face tanned look.
No.
I went back outside and danced by the fire all night, looking like someone who had a bad case of jaundice.
I hope no one could smell me.
I don't understand. Okay, so just before we get into this, because this has to be unpacked for anyone that doesn't know what better dean is. It's like that antiseptic that you put on a cut or a wound, or that can be better than garb, or that you mix me water for a sore throat, and it's like it's like a deep, rusty red color, Like it's very distinct smell and a very distinct color.
So I'm and it stains too, and it's stained.
So I'm assuming everyone knows what better it in is. Now to unpack this, what the actual fuck were you thinking?
Like?
Wow? And also betting usually comes in like really small containers. How did you think there's enough of that to rub on your body and make it look like a faked hand? Like, I'm so confused.
She must have been so drunk that stuff is concentrated. A little bit goes a long way, Britt. I mean, maybe she's the type of girl who also.
Would eat the moldy punet of blueberries because.
Maguiva up some fake tan fors.
And okay, I don't I would have been out. I wouldn't straight out of it. I would have I don't know, because okay, you put it on your body, you put it on your face for blush, like trying to look like you've got this tan. You definitely look like you've got a disease. And then you go out to the fire and act like nothing happened. You're like, hey boy, it's just had to freshen up in the bathroom. How did no one notice?
She goes out and they're like, are you experiencing liver failure?
Because right now you are yellow. You look like a Simpsons character. You should have just been a homer like backing into the bush away being like I have made a mistake.
I think I need to take you to the hospital. Oh my god, that was so good. This is why this this is why this new segment is so brilliant, because there are things that you think no one would ever I ever do, And I'm sure you've never told anyone that story. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. Keep those coming in, all right, Should we get into some questions?
Yep, let's jump into some questions. Ah.
This first one I have for you, brit very very juicy, and I just want to remind everyone that this is a real person.
Okay, so before you.
Get your judgment on, this is a real person and we need some kindness.
I mean, just so you guys know, they're all real people every week and you're gonna see why I needed to remind you of this though.
Okay, I've turned into someone I never thought I would. I'm getting married in three months, but I've been sleeping with someone I work with for two months.
I love my fiance. I want to be with him.
We have our life together, we want to start a family. He is so amazing and so is our life. I've been sleeping with a guy I work with for two months who is also married with two kids.
It's the best sex I've ever had.
There's definitely feelings there beyond sex for both of us, but I know I need to end it with him and focus.
On my partner.
We both agree we need to end it and want to stay with our current partners. My question is, how do we end it when it's hard to walk away from the sex and the connection that we have.
Do we just stop talking or do we.
Slowly cut it out of our lives? Please help me figure this out, since I know you'll probably ask. We both still have sex with our partners, but for me, there is definitely a sexual chemistry lacking, and I feel like my partner doesn't want sex as much as I do. I really really don't want to end things with my current partner. I haven't told anyone about this, and it's been really hard not being able to talk to my friends about it. I hope I can get some of your help.
Oh my god, what are you doing? Girl? I feel so sorry, not for you, but for your fiance. That is who I feel really sorry for. This is a really shitty situation, and it's obviously very hard for you because you've developed feelings for someone else. But the only reason you've developed feelings for someone else is because you've allowed yourself to develop those feeling You've put yourself in a situation where you have become close and intimate with
someone else that's not your fiance. And we all know that sex isn't ever just sex for women or very rarely, we get these dopamine hits and it becomes an addiction and we feel very intimate and close, and these connections form even if you don't want them to. Your question here is you're saying that you know you need to be with your partner and you need to end things with this person, and it should How do you end it? Should it be a soft fade out? Can you keep
the contact? No? Like it's not a soft fade. This has to end if you want to be with your partner. I mean, a this shouldn't have happened. But I don't know what else is going on in your life. Obviously there's something that's not quite right, because that's why you've gone to seek out someone else. If you want this relationship with your fiance to work, you need to one hundred percent end this, and I think you need to cold turkey it. You just end it. You don't soft fade.
You don't cut down to sleeping together once a week, you don't contact each other anymore. He has a wife and kids, like he has a whole whole family. On the flip side of this, if you're saying, like, we just have this real connection and if you think it's going to be hard to pull away from this other person that you're having in an affair with, then I don't think you should marry your fiance. Like, I don't
think you're in the right situation. Because if you have these really strong feelings for someone else and you're saying, I don't know how I'm going to keep him up and we have this real connection, then I don't think you're marrying the right person. So I think that you've got to really make a decision. If you know you want to be with your fiance like you're saying, then this shouldn't be hard for you. You need to cut it
and give everything you have to your fiance. And I know that this might not be what you want to hear. And I think deep down you already know the answer. I think you really do. I think you know what's right, and you think you know what we're going to say. But I think you want to hear somebody else tell you.
Well, that was why I actually like at the start of this, I said, I just want to remind everyone that this is a real person who is experiencing this, because I'm not in any position to stand on a pedestal, point the finger and say you're doing the wrong thing, because you like the reality is cheerity know that she is, and you know she doesn't need us to kind of stand here and berate her about that. But the question
that you've asked is how do I stop this? And I think that realistically, if you work with this person, that you're kind of I guess what I'm reading between the lines is that is that you feel so sexually attracted to this person that you don't really trust yourself around them because you kind of let this innate desire take over.
When you're in their presence.
I think you need to put things in place so that you're not in their presence. So, whether that be that you are not alone together ever at work, if you somehow find a way to implement that, or I'm obviously you're going to have to have this conversation with this other person. But as you've said, he also wants to remain with his partner. It sounds as though you need to put some actual physical boundaries in place, and if that's not able to be done, it might mean that you have to leave your job.
It might mean that you.
Have to kind of go that is who I used to be, and I don't want that for myself. I don't want that for my life with my partner that I do want to be completely dedicated to and I do want to be committed to, And if that's what has to happen, then maybe you need to look at that as an option, because it's sounding like you will already feel guilt about the situation, and perhaps you can try and rewire your brain so that when you're around this person that you have been cheating with, maybe it's
good for you to picture something like the look on your partner's face if they were to find out. Picture what would happen if it was on your wedding day and all of a sudden, this information got released to
everyone in front of you. And I think that if you can try and associate feelings like that with this other person that you're cheating with, I think that those feelings of that chemistry and that sexual desire could quite quickly be quashed because what you have writing on the line is so much more than just this innate desire to have sex with this person.
Yeah, but also like, just have some self control, Like, honestly, if you are I really I do believe this, and I know there's always temptations in relationships, and for the rest of our life, you're always going to have an attraction to someone else. We're humans. You're always going to look at someone and be like, damn surety, like you're a babe.
That's so normal.
But if you can't, if you cannot have any self control around someone that you think is attractive, I don't think you're in the right relationship. And I'm not having to go at you personally. This goes for any relationship.
If you marry someone and you're saying I want to spend my life with them, and they are of the understanding that you two are exclusive and you don't have an open relationship, then that is something you really need to commit to an honor and think about because maybe that isn't the life you want deep down, maybe you're really comfortable. I also want you to keep in mind that it is a really normal thing when you're in
a long term relationship for the sex to change. It's you don't have that same animalistic feeling where you want to be all over each other like you do at the beginning of a relationship. It's different. You still want to have sex and you love makings different and your connections, but it's not the same as it was. And what you're feeling now with this person is a level of excitement.
You're doing the wrong thing. You're sneaking around. He's feeling the same thing too, because he's sneaking around behind his wife and his children's back. If you were in a long term relationship with this person too, the sex would probably end up exactly the same as it is with you now. It would also die down the same as it has with his relationship. So I think that that's
really important, something really important to think about. And I know a lot of people that have written it in the past, and a lot of people we've spoken to have said that this is what's happened. They have met someone and they've left their partner for this person because it was just like this all consuming feeling that they'd never had before, and the sex was amazing and they just wanted to be with each other all the time.
And after a couple of months, six months, they realized very quickly that it was a moment in time and it was more about the situation and it wasn't necessarily the connection was not this deep seated connection where they were soulmates. So I think you really need to sit down and just ask yourself what you want. And if you don't want to marry your partner, that's actually okay like that, there is nothing wrong with that. You just
need to decide why you're making these decisions. So think about what it is that's driving you to be with someone else. Is there more going on at home? But if you really really want to be with your fiance, then like for me, it needs to end. There's no slow fade off with this person you're having an affair with. It just needs to end. I would just have one last conversation with him and say I'm absolutely committed to my relationship and this we cannot have any communication anymore,
and then that's it. That's it. You just have some self control.
Yeah, I think what you were saying about the whole forbidden fruit vibe is very real. Like when you feel like you're doing something that's a bit naughty and it's so exciting, you know, we get addicted to that dopamine hit, that rush of like this is such a thrill. So I very much agree with you in that sense, and I think that it's probably best you have said that
you haven't told anyone about this. I actually think that this is the type of thing that would be really good for you to unpack with a psychologist, just so
that you can have that accountability. You know, these people are trained professionally for this, and I think that if you do have someone that you can go to that is such a trusted source, like a professional psychologist, that might actually help you keep yourself on track, because right now it sounds like you need someone to be accountable to.
Yeah, you definitely need to have someone to talk to. And I know I understand this is something that you don't want to speak to your friends or anyone about, but it's important that you are going through something that is pretty heavy and it's a big weight on your shoulders and it is confusing, and I don't think it's the sort of thing you should ever have to keep just to yourself. So absolutely, if there's someone that you can reach out to and share this with and work
through it. I think that that's one hundred percent what you should do. Yeah, and before, I'm just still thinking about it. Before. I don't want it to sound like I'm just having to go with this girl, because I know people that have been in this kind of situation before that have done the wrong thing in their relationship, and there's always more to the story. It's never just like I want to be a horrible person and do the wrong thing to my partner. There is always more
going on. But that is why I just think it's important you talk to someone about it and work out what you really want.
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Britt. We are not here to put judgment on everyone. We've all got our demons and we've all fucked up before, so I'm not gonna point the finger at anybody.
Yeah, I mean, so, let's jump into question number two. Okay, question number two. I'm eight weeks into a new relationship with an absolutely amazing guy. We are super compatible in so many ways. He treats me like a goddess, he's done sexy, and he's just a genuinely great human. He's the first guy in my seven years of dating that I have felt there might actually be a future with, and I really want to give it my all. But because there's always a butt when it comes to our beliefs,
we are very very different. He is religious, He's Christian, he takes his faith very seriously, whilst I consider myself to be more spiritual. I was raised Christian, but I don't agree with a lot of the teachings now, so I just no longer follow it. There are certain elements of Christianity, particularly around LGBTI matters that I will never agree with, and I know that he and I will never see eye to eye on He knows where I stand and claims to be okay with it, but I
worried that might not always be the case. So my question is, do you think you can be with someone long term who fundamentally holds very different views and beliefs to you?
Woo.
Usually I'm a bit of a let's play two sides of the coin here, but for this I have a very very clear answer. But I do think the answer is from my perspective. I do not think that you can be with someone where you have different belief systems. So whether that be your political views, whether that be your religious.
Views, whatever it might be.
The way that you see the world to me is a really really important thing. And this actually I grew up in a situation quite similar to this.
As I was a kid.
My dad became very religious. And it wasn't the thing that broke up my parents, but it kind of was the thing that broke up my parents because it impacts the way that you see so many different aspects of the world, and I think it really impacts the way that you want to raise your children as well. Though I'm not religious, but I have dated someone whose father was the pastor of a church, and I remember thinking at the time, this could be a really big issue
for us if we end up having children. I don't want my children to be baptized. I don't want them to be christened. I don't want them to go to church because I don't believe in that kind of stuff.
But he really would have.
And it was again, it wasn't the thing that broke us up, but it was definitely something in the back of my mind that I was like, this is something.
That maybe I should be taken a little bit more seriously. And now that I'm older.
I very much think that it is so important to be aligned on those kinds of things.
Look, I agree, I do think you one hundred percent need to be aligned with where you see your life going, how you want to raise kids, the things that you can talk about, the things you can support and believe, your political agenda, all of the above. Like, it's very important that you're sort of on the same wavelength. Do I think you can be with someone with differences. I do. I do think you can, but only if they're not
to the extreme. Only if you can both say like, cool, well I believe this and you believe that, And that's just how it's going to be. Neither of us are going to push our agenda on each other. We're still going to be able to independently do what we want to do and believe in what we want to believe in.
There is a way that that can work. I mean, I dated someone I'm not religious, and I dated someone for two years I was a Muslim, and you know, we were in love and we talked often about what the future would look like and he never actually tried to push anything on me, which is the only reason it worked. But where you start to come unstuck in these kind of relationships is and you're only eight weeks in,
so you might not have had these conversations yet. But where you come unstuck is when children come into the picture, because it changes the rest of your life, and it's all day and it's every day, and it's very important that you're raising them how you want to raise them. So if you don't agree on that, and if it's the difference between them going to church or not going to church or anything else that comes along with your religion, then it's going to be a problem, whether you want
to admit it or not. So I think that it's hard for you. It's really early days, so maybe you need to have the conversation. I couldn't be with someone and you brought up that there's a problem with LGBTI if my partner didn't or wasn't supportive of gay marriage or he was homophobic, that for me is a deal breaker. It just one hundred percent is I'm so passionate about it that for me, it's too much of a difference.
And it sounds like that's an issue in this because you've specifically singled that out.
But I also think that this could.
And I hope I'm not projecting my own beliefs onto you, because I would consider myself to be quite an outspoken and quite quite full on in terms of the political space.
So for me, it's.
Really important that I would be with someone that had the same views as me.
Maybe if you.
Were more like a moderate person in things like, you know, religion and political beliefs, that kind of thing, they kind of go hand in hand, they cross over a lot. Maybe if you are a little bit more moderate, this wouldn't be as big of an issue to you. But you have said in your message to us that you will. You know, you're never going to agree or see ey
to eye on some things like LGBTI matters. So I think that for this one, you need to firstly work out how big of an issue this will be for you, and then have a think about, oh, well, you know, is it better to just nip it in the bud now because this is not going to change We've got very different political and religious beliefs.
Or is it that important to you.
I know in eight weeks you've been with it for eight weeks, and I know because I fell in love with Jordan in eight weeks. I know that you can have really strong feelings for someone in that short amount of time. Absolutely, but it's definitely easier to extract yourself from a situation that you know is not going to work now than one year or two years in. So I think if you know that you have those feelings now, don't just put a band aid on it and keep going.
I would front up and deally with it now.
Brick question for you, how would you feel now, However, many months into being with Jordan if you found out he voted no to the gay marriage debate, Like so it is to add that on the end, if you found out he voted no to the gay marriage plebiscite.
I mean, I'm very lucky I've been with him almost a year now, but I'm very lucky that I know he didn't and I know he's very supportive of that. But it would, honestly, I would, really I would discuss with it. I'd have to have a discussion and say, hey, do you still feel that way? I know you've voted for that, but do you still feel that way? And is that the way you're going moving forward? And I don't think I could be with him there's too many people in my life that I love very very dearly
that that would affect. So I just couldn't support it. I don't think I could be with it. It's just one of those things that I feel very very strongly about.
I very much see what you mean.
It's like, there's so many memes about this when it's like if you fall in love with someone and then find out that they have official in their Instagram handle, I feel like this is an actual, real one where it's like, ah, if you fall in love with someone and then find out that they're a secret homopholk.
If you fell in If you fell in love with someone and then you found out they ate moldy blueberries, would you stay with them?
Yes?
I would say they're very resourceful and they could be bear grills if.
We're out in the wilderness.
But this is again like this is very individual to you. It's only if something matters to you that strongly that is going to affect you. So for a lot of people, what might not matter. But you've said it's obvious an issue. It's on your mind enough to write into us. So I think, yeah, I have the conversation with him and really decide if it's what you want your future to look like.
Rightyh okay?
Question number three.
Question number three.
This one very topical right now because of some international travel restrictions apparently being lifted. Very excited with recent years of international travel resuming in the near future. When a couple of my friends and I met recently, we started dreaming of our future travels. I have traveled with one of these friends before, but not the other. The friend I have traveled with before I would love to travel
with again. But I can't imagine traveling with the other friend, despite knowing her most of my life, because I already know that I would be really annoyed by her, and I don't want that to affect our friendship. When we caught up recently, both friends said that we should plan a trip for the three of us next year. They were both so excited. I just smiled and didn't comment. If they bring it up again, how do I ap approach the fact that I don't want to travel with one of them?
Oh, this is so awkward.
This is pretty awkward, but okay. So the first part of me wants to say, you don't have to do anything you want to do. You don't have to go on a trip. This is your money that you're spending, and you have waited a long time, like, of course you want to have an amazing time, and of course you want to go wherever you want to go and make sure you're having fun. On the other hand, they're obviously very good friends, and it's a bit of a tricky one because what other reason would you give them
that you wouldn't want to go with them. Have you thought that maybe you guys could go on a trip and do whatever you want to do. Maybe you could go on your own trip for a little while or with another friend, and you could all just meet up for a week somewhere. Maybe you could say, I really want to go and tack these places off. Let's all meet for sale Croatia and do a week together in Croatia. And I'm sure if she's your lifelong friend for a
week or two somewhere, that's so amazing. Where there's more people, it's not just you guys, I'm sure you'd have a really amazing time. So there's definitely ways around it. And I I think when I thought about this, this is the way I would approach it. I would say, go and do what you want to do. Maybe there's someone else you can go with as well, maybe it's another friend, and then you guys can all meet up for like this one or two weeks in the middle. What do you reconcasion?
I think you and I are both in the very fortunate situation where we're both traveled a lot. And one thing. I remember this being such a big thing for me. I was so specific about who I traveled with, and a lot of the time that meant I traveled by myself. Yes, yeah, I have never had a friendship end because of traveling together, but boy have I heard some stories of friendships crumbling
under the pressure. The one question I would ask myself before I would consider traveling with a friend of mine was how do they react when things don't go to plan? Because I think that is the best question you can ask, because when you're traveling, inevitably things are not going to go to plan. You're gonna have missed flights, you're gonna have canceled things, you're gonna lose stuff like one of you might get sick. Stuff isn't going to work out.
And I think that it's those situations where the people who respond to change and are very flexible and adaptive. They shine, but the people who don't, they do not shine, and those friendships will come crashing down.
I think it's like, I think it's important to make sure you guys actually want to do the same stuff on a trip. Because there are some people that want to go traveling and they want to see museums, and they want to go on the walking tours of the city and they want to do all that kind of thing. They want to be really cultural. There are other people that want to go because they want to party and they want to drink, and they want to go to
these yacht weeks. They're two very different experiences. I think you all need to be on board with the same thing. I remember I went traveling with one boyfriend once we went to We went traveling too soon, like we didn't really know each other yet. I was already going on a trip by myself. He was like, why don't I just come? This is you guys might have heard me. This is the guy I've talked about in the past where we broke up overseas in Vegas. I broke up
with me in Vegas. We never saw each other again anyway. It was him, but he was. The reason we broke up is because we went on this trip traveling and we were so different. We didn't want to do one thing that was the same. I wanted to go on all these hikes. I wanted to go on adventuring, I wanted to go cliff jumping, and I wanted to go on yours and everything for me was like really outside
and really adventurous. And he wanted to just do this food tour he'd had booked all these really random cafes. He just wanted to eat. He didn't wasn't into adventure, he wouldn't go for hikes with me, And I thought, why we are so different, We don't want to do one thing that's the same. Right now, this isn't going to work. And we literally ended because we wanted different things traveling. And obviously that wasn't the end of the world, but I just knew in that moment we were not
right for each other. But that's the thing. If you don't know, if you don't want to do the same thing as the people you're traveling with, it's going to be disastrous totally.
And you can have friends in your life and to be completely honest, I'm sorry if any of my good friends are listening to this podcast and you know I'm talking about you.
I have some high maintenance friends. I'm not being nasty.
They are not the ones that I would choose to go traveling with because I just I can see that being a disaster. And whey the sounds of it, you like this person, this person is your friend, and you like hanging out with them in.
Your actual life.
But it's a really really different situation to be around each other twenty four to seven, experiencing different things. It sounds like you already know that you don't want to travel with this person, and you have your reasons for that. So look, I if it were me, I would just be saying I would be coming up with some type of excuse, just saying, hey, look what you guys want to do sounds really great. This one I'm gonna sit out, come up.
With a reason.
It can be anything. It can be I'm gonna save for a different trip. It can be oh, I'm thinking about maybe going and doing this instead. Unfortunately, it means that you are going to miss out on traveling with the one friend that you do want to travel with, that you have traveled with before. But in my opinion, better to miss out on this trip than to ruin a friendship that you've had for most of your life.
I agree.
I'm glad agree on that.
Well, guys, that is it for ask gun Kat. Thank you for coming in, Thanks for coming in and joining us today. Keisha, We love, absolutely love having you, and thanks for bringing you a little confessional. I hope more than anything you have thrown your blueberries out. Oh, if you haven't yet, they go straight and they've been after this record.
No, I have not thrown out the punnets just yet.
But don't worry.
I'm still in your house, so by the time you get out of quarantine and you get back here, there will be plenty of multi blueberries left over for you.
Great, can't wait. That's so nice of me. But speaking of speaking of quarantine, before we wrap up, I just wanted to a shout out to one of our listeners, Kelly.
Oh my gosh, I saw this on your Instagram story. This was the most kind, wildly lovely thing that someone has done.
It was like impossible for me to get this past start because nowhere does it here, No one delivered it here, and I had like a little exponential crisis. But Kelly just found out where I was staying. She went and got me the past us. She wrote me a note. She dropped it to reception and she was like, I hope this makes your quarantine better and absolutely diod. So that's my little shout out to Kelly. That was really
really amazing. Guys, give your questions coming in to life on cut podcast, Instagram, slide on into the d ms. Also keep your accent unfilters and your confessionals and anything else you think that we would want to hear.
Yeah.
I actually kind of love so much that it doesn't even need to be a segment anymore.
If something that you think is funny happens, just message us. We'll find a space for it.
If you fuck up, tell us, we'll call the fuck up Friday.
Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell you if you tell your cat, tell your neighbor, and share the love.
Is that how it goes?
You usually do that, but you're a lot better at it. I'm sorry. Better tell your mom, tell your dad, tell dog, toy friends, you share the love because we love love