Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.
Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm Cut, I'm Laura.
And I'm Brittany, and I am coming to you today from the other side of the world with my head stuffed inside Ben's closet.
Well, at least it's not stuffed inside Ben.
Let me clarify that that makes me sound like I've been kidnapped and I'm like locked in the closet. I'm not locked in a closet, to be clear, but I'm in a makeshift recording shoo which is literally inside Ben's closet, so it has like nice soft soundproofing and all his jackets buffer and I was just like, wow, look, how fire I've calm.
That's what I was thinking.
I would rather have my head stuffed inside a wardrobe if it meant that I got to spend four days in Mayorca.
So I don't feel sorry for you right now. I am back in Scotland. Now. I went to Mayoca. We had three days in Mayoka. It was amazing. I flew over four days ago to see Ben.
It's out.
What is it every eight weeks we get to bang for a week. But the funniest thing happened to me.
Now, I feel like this is probably everyone's lifelong dream. But I have had a lifelong dream my entire life that I thought would never ever happen.
It's so far out of reach.
Okay, and now I'm trying to think of what it could possibly be. And you saw Sam Hewen at the airport. No, you mounted sam Hewan's face. No, I said, you climbed sam Hewin like a mountain. It just has to have something to do with Sam Hewen, that's all I know.
I hope Samhwan never listened to this.
We have tried to get him on the podcast, so that would be embarrassing if he comes on.
Also, just so that everyone knows, like, because you may not be aware of this, Like Sam Hewen is the equivalent to my Jason Momoa.
He was my whole pass.
He is the man that Brittany has wanted to climb since she was a wee little lass.
He was my whole pass.
But he's not anymore because I am in a great relationship and Sam.
Up, everyone still has a whole part.
I'm just saying it in case he comes on the podcast one day.
He's never coming on the podcast, brit He's frightened of you.
No, you know, he said he would.
I spoke to him. Did I tell you that in direct message?
Yeah?
We spoke and he was like, I'm launching some a balk and some alcohol and heaps of shit. Because he's like an entrepreneur as well as an actor. But he was like, maybe, like when we launched that we could do it.
This is just a little insight into the lengths that Brittany Hockley will go. You would have slid into his DMS.
There is no one I won't slide into if I want them on the podcast, I will.
I go high and low. I split into Michelle.
Obamas, the daughter Sasha's Obamas. Now that's a lie, but I'll do what I need to do. We aim high and we fall slightly short of that. So I okay, I don't even know how to start this story. Okay, fuck it, I'll tell you. I flew first class for the first time in my life, probably the only time in my life. Now I need to tell you why and how. So Ben and I we see each other every few months. As you guys know if you knew
the podcast, I'm in a long distance relationship. Ben lives in Scotland, so I'm the one that flies the most, right because Ben only flies once a.
Year, so I'm flying six times a year.
It's really expensive.
So Ben and I always we split everything. Even though he's only doing one flight, he still helps me pay for the flights because it's not fair otherwise, right, and it's just the agreement.
It's just the agreement of done totally anyway.
So this flight over, I only booked it three days before I left, which meant the flights it was really hard to get flight times, and I had to fly a mix of economy and premium economy so whatever leg I could get, so I had premium economy and economy. Ben had let me sign into his Frequent Flyer points because we'd use mine the last flight, so he's like, oh, use of mine, it might get a bit off the
price or whatever. So I get to the flight and they're like, oh man, you've been upgraded, and I was like, oh, amazing, Like this is incredible, and I was like.
Oh my god. I was like, what the fuck?
I was like me, and she's like yes, and I was like that's amazing. Why yeah anyway, so I was like, this is my dream come true. Because sometimes they do these random upgrades. These are the stories of myths and legends, you know, like you hear about the people that get to the counter and they've gotten a random upgrade.
There's always like the people who say, like, if you dress up nicely to get onto a plane, like you might be the one who gets upgraded if you rock up wearing a suit.
Yeah, but it never happens.
Anyway, She's like, you've been upgrade. First cars fucking poseideon myself. I couldn't believe it, message shirt and showed away. I think I was like, I can't believe this. Took so many photos in there, like A took.
So many of the food everything.
I took photos of the menus.
Okay, it was the most it was the most lush thing I have ever experienced, and I cannot I cannot explain it to you now. It wasn't the big you see pictures, right, you see pictures of the big, beautiful cabins where there's like a lounge room and stuff in there.
It wasn't that one.
What it was was like a bed that went down, a full big TV, like huge TV, and closing doors for complete privacy, like they were electronic doors. The menu was I'm not exaggerated, and the menu was cavia lobster tail.
I ate so much food. I wasn't even hungry.
I was like, yeah, some more lobster like.
I was living like it was my last day on Earth. They were like, ma'am, do you want a shower? I was like, yes, I don't need a shower, but I'm.
Gonna have one.
I'm gonna have fucking two showers. Thank you.
Do you want to see yeah exactly. I was like book me in. She's like, do you need the spa? And I was like, yeah, I need it. It was so fancy, Laura. I even took a photo of the bathroom. I couldn't find the toilet.
It doesn't make sense that these things exist on a plane where it's like, no there, I am shoved at the back with my two screaming kids next to the toilet, wanting to open the emergency exit.
Yeah.
So anyway, I'm like, oh, is this the toilet? Because even the door's fancy and she's like yeah.
So I go in and there's a shower, there's a huge room, there's makeup room, there's hair dryers, and I can't see a toilet, and so I'm like, she mustn't be understood me. So I went back out and she's standing there like ready.
They're always there when you leave, they're ready with because I go in after every person and I was like, oh, sorry, is this the bathroom in here?
And she's like yes, and I was like, oh okay.
I walked back in and I just stood there.
I was like, the fuck is the toilet. The toilet is like a ameleon. It's hidden.
You can't even see this.
To the point that I took a video.
I was like, tell me when you spot the toilet. I eventually found it.
The lady walks in and there's Brittany doing a shit in this scene.
No, So it was to the point that I was like, I thought there were hidden doors. So I was like poking along the wall thinking that one of the doors would pop out, but it wasn't. There was a little anyone that's flown first class I was listening to this is gonna be like Britney sasually.
No one, no one, literally no one.
So there was like a little like it runs.
It's all curved and everything. It's not even square, like all the walls are curved and it was like this curvy little seat and I was like, I wonder if that is something and I lifted it up and it was like a surprise toilet. Anyway, I found the toilet crisis averted.
So I booked into my shower. I did everything. It was incredible.
Wait did you find out why you got upgraded? Was there a reason or did you just the lucky dip?
No, I'm getting there. So then I get to Scotland and I send benep photo. I haven't seen him yet. I just got off the plane and I sent him a photo and I'm.
Like, guess here's the first class bitch.
And he's like, oh my god, what happened? And I was like random upgrade. I was like, it's so weird.
He's like, oh, they don't.
Usually random upgrade. You're from like economy and I was like I don't know, babe, but I was like full flight. I hit the jackpot. Anyway, So it turns out Ben was like a bit perplexed.
He was like, just.
Doesn't sound right. It turns out.
So Ben had given me his frequent Flyer points right and when I had put them in for my flight to get a discount, there was a little button that said, do you want to put in for an automatic upgrade if it's available?
So I said yes. I thought that I thought that that meant they would ask me.
I thought they meant that that would be like, man, there's a spot for an upgrade. Do you want to take it? But it does it's automatic, So I ticked yes.
It wiped all of his points. It wasn't a random upgrade. Ben paid every point he's ever got. He logged onto his thing and he's like, I have no fucking points slept and I was like, oh my god. He's like, what did you do? I was like, I think I pressed the automatic up upgrade.
But that is not funny. That is terrible. That is you're a fucking bad girlfriend. You are a bad girlfriend.
I know.
He actually he knew that there's no way I would ever do that, And I was like, I thought it meant that they'd be like, oh man, we saw that you would like to bid for an upgrade or whatever. I thought they would ask you, like approach you.
But they literally just said, man, you've been upgrade, and I was like, fucking brilliant.
The plane God's helped me anyway, Lucky Ben saw the funny side.
I would also like to this can be that everyone's like wonderful reminder that the mythical, magical automatic upgrade that people sometimes talk about doesn't have it.
It's not real.
Anyway, that was my It was the funny thing happened. And Ben still loves me. So I'm here for another shoe weeks.
Okay, well we just so you guys know, we have this episode and then we're taking a week off because I'm heading away to Bali on the weekend for some work. I've got some Tony May work happening over there. I'm going with my sister, I'm going with one of my staff from Tony May and no kids for an entire week and no Matt as well, which I was really excited, and then yesterday I got really sad. So I don't know how I feel about it anymore. It's an emotional rollercoaster.
Is this the longest you've been away from the kids, Like, will this be?
Yeah?
Seven days? This will be the longest I've been away with Matt and the kids. We've been away before, you and I and Keisha. We went to Ularu earlier this year. That was for three or four nights. That was the longest, and now this will be the longest stint that I've done. And also it's the only international stint that I've ever done without the kids.
I mean, I don't know because I don't have kids, but I feel like you're going to miss them the most, like the first few days, and then I think you're going to ease in just fine.
I think I think you're going to be cocktail in hand.
Can I tell you where I'm not going to miss them on the flight when I get to sleep for an entire five hours all by myself in economy. Oh, I mean, this is cute. Matt we were talking about last night and he was like, why don't you just pack some kids books? Like, pack like four or five kids books in your suitcase and so then at night time on FaceTime you can read the girls to sleep.
So that's what we do.
I'm I'm gonna take books with me and then I can sit there on FaceTime and I can read their bedtime stories to them every night and we can FaceTime and spend you know, at least like even though I'm not going to see them for the next seven days, I can spend that little bit of time and that can be the little tradition.
I don't know. We're doing our best. We're surviving over here.
I think that's cute, but also I feel like you're going to be like bad reception.
But really it is that like Fins beach hop Spot goes swim in the pool Fins to Finn.
Okay, well, guys, we wanted to before we get into answering all you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions. We have some really exciting stuff to tell you about the live shows. So we I mean, for quite a while now we've had some of our guests locked in, but we've just started announcing them and what we're doing with these live shows. If you haven't got your tickets yet, they're going to be phenomenal. I know that we've already told you that Sam Fisher is going to be playing
and singing at every single show. That's like one consistent thing that's happening at each show. For those of you who don't know who he is. This is Sam Fisher's song.
Set's Gonna bring My said, He's gone to love me, live me alone, said, has got me jaes such, it's been a couple of months as if I come home, am.
I getting said.
Where Rabben said is gonna break my Jis's gonna break go.
But then we've also just announced.
So if you live in the Gold Coast and you have been thinking, should I go to the Gold Coast Show? Maybe I'm busy on the Wednesday night. I think it's the Wednesday, the twenty fifth of October, have a look. Go get your tickets because the people that are joining us on stage there we have Eliti Pullin, which so many of you guys know she is from the Darling
Shine podcast. She's also written the book Heartstrong. So Eldi is the partner of Chumpy Pullen, who passed away tragically in twenty twenty and she has her beautiful little girl Mini.
They had this baby together, but.
His sperm was actually collected after he passed away. We have had a Elity on the podcast before. She's incredible and the story is amazing, but also just her as an incredibly resilient human in her normalizing grief in her talking about her life as a single mum and how
her life has changed since having Minnie. She lives just truly the fullest and most incredible life, and I know you guys are going to love hearing the updates from what we have spoken about on the podcast to where her life is now at that live show.
Yeah, Eliti is truly amazing.
And I think the thing I love about Eldi the most is I've never quite seen somebody speak about grief so well and such a traumatic event, but then simultaneously be so full of energy and so positive and so happy and so fucking funny. Like she really has this incredible balancing act of being able to speak about something that not many people go through but making you laugh
at the same time. She's got just such a great outlook on life and such a great sense of humor that she really is the epitome of both.
Well, it's almost that idea of like a lot of people deal with hardship through laughter on one side. I remember her talking about this. On one side, She's like, we can be completely in tears and bereft over everything that happened, and then the next minute making jokes because it's one of those you know, if you don't laugh, you'll cry for the rest of your life situations.
Also joining us at the Gold Coast Show.
Another announcement which we made is the incredible m Carey, who is the girl who fell from the sky. So Em joined us in Sydney last year. She was one of the absolute highlights of the Sydney Show. It was incredible to speak to her. We've had her also on the podcast before, but what we spoke about at the live show in Sydney was a very different conversation and it was more so around her life since the last
time we spoke. And so even if you have followed along EM's Ernie, and even if you have listened to the podcast episodes, we can guarantee that you will get something very very different out of these conversations. And so they're the guests that are coming to the Gold Coast Live Show. Now, like you guys know, we have six other shows within Australia and then we also have New Zealand as well, so every single show is gonna have
different guests. But we just wanted to give you a little taste of how fucking good it's gonna be.
We do have different guests every single place. We have one to two guests, probably two at almost every single one, but finding people at different shows that are there in different cities were so much fun.
We have a very big.
Guest that happened to last minute be Free in Sydney, and that is Rebel Wilson. So you know that Rebel is a friend of the podcast, she's a friend of mine, She's been on the podcast a few times, and she just so happens to be in Sydney filming over that period. So she has agreed to come on as a very very special guest in the Sydney show. So that's also
going to be incredible. We're gonna speak to Rebel about a lot of stuff in her life that we didn't speak about on the episodes because I feel like her life is all so ever evolving. So I'm really really looking forward to that chat as well. And over the next week or so, we are going to be dropping a few more guests.
Yeah, and also, like we know, we've talked about this so much, but the live shows are going to be such an extravagance. We don't want anyone to leave these shows unless they're like that was phenomenal. That's the benchmark. So you know we've said a high we are going to try our absolute best. We have some really really funny stories that we haven't told on the podcast before, and we have everyone coming.
Kisha's going to be there, Mitch's going to.
Be there, Maddie Jay is going to be there for most of them when we can get babysitters for the kids. So like, it's truly such an all team and amazing thing that we get to do where we get to come to your hometowns. If you're in Sydney, just so you know, the Sydney one is happening at the State Theater on October the fifteenth, but we're also going to Adelaide, We're going to Perth, We're going to Melbourne. We're going
to be in Auckland and Canberra and Brisbane. So it is truly all across Australia throughout the month of October. Go get your tickets, get your girlfriends, get your boyfriends. Yeah, get everyone, Get your mum, get your dad.
If you think that that might be, oh my god, my mum and.
Dad are coming and my uncles and arnies and stuff. And I'm mortified because some shit that.
We're gonna be talking about that they may or may not want to hear. But my dad is like, my dad is my our biggest fan.
From the day we started is four years ago in our undies in our room, you had Marley May strapped to your titty like we were recording.
I was recording in my scrub.
Still he has not ever missed an episode, so he hears it all anyway, But this.
Will be the first time that they'll be there, like NRL.
Watching this go down. I don't know how I feel about it.
I also love that like the difference between your dad, Papatoni and Terry burn Terry Brn thinks it's called a pod book and he doesn't know what a pod book is, and we are going to keep it that way because Terry Brn never needs to know the things that his daughter talks about on this podnost No.
Terry Burrn absolutely does not.
But also just so you guys know, we don't want you to think that these hot shows are completely interviews with guests. Whilst we have guests at each show, they make up the second half and the interview portion.
We're trying to keep it very much in line with how we bring.
You our episodes, which is Laura and I at the start, which is the accidentally unfiltered, it's the embarrassing stories, the shit we do, the girl talk like you're just talking to your friends. That's all going to be exactly the same. It's just a lot of fun at the start, a lot of throwing each other and ourselves under the bus.
And then the second half is where we really get into the interviews and the guest part and hopefully teaching you something from each person that comes to talk to us on the stage.
So we're really really looking forward to it.
If you haven't got your tickets to live shows, they are available on our website, but it's all through that ticketech and ticketmaster. So if you go to life on cuppodcast dot com dot au, there's a link on the homepage for tickets and it will take you through to whichever ticket retailer is kind of taking care.
Of your city.
All right, before we get into your questions, it is time for vibe and unsubscribe.
Brittany Hocky, what is your vibe of the week.
My vibe this week may or may not be because it's been number one on the podcast charts in Australia and the UK, probably America to for quite a while.
And it's the trial of Lucy Letbie.
Now, I'm sure if you haven't listened to the podcast, you've heard about this at the moment, because it's happening live.
She's just been convicted. It's about Lucy let Be, this thirty three year old nurse that was just found guilty of murdering seven babies in the neonatal care unit over in the UK.
Absolutely horrific. I hadn't I mean.
Obviously I've heard about the story, but I didn't know that there was a podcast about it.
Yeah, you know, I love true crime, but this isn't why I was enthralled in this.
I was enthralled because it started back.
In twenty twenty two, I believe, and.
It was live.
Not many podcasts are allowed to report at the same time as the trial is happening, but this one was. And we know the reasons. In the past it hasn't happened. I think it happened here with the teacher's pet. When journalists are reporting simultaneously, it can interrupt the trial. But this was reported on every single week as the trial was going these journalists were going into the trial, watching it and reporting on them and interviewing a lot of
different people along the way. I was just truly fascinated by this case.
Because I just never in a million years would you.
Think that somebody that went and studied to specifically care for these babies and give them the best possible actum of life would end up being one of the UK's biggest serial killers because she.
Was murdering them.
I binged it sixty two episodes and I think I listened to it in about four days.
I couldn't put.
It down because I couldn't understand why.
And they read a lot of text messages out between her and other staff members. They have people impersonating her and other staff members, so like reading out in her voice. It's fucking horrific. And she has gone to prison, she's been convicted, and I mean, so she should she should rot in there. But it's my recommendation. I don't have kids, so I don't know how it will affect mothers to listen that. The people that have kids might not want
to listen to that. But I also worked at a specialist pediatric hospital in the UK, so I knew a lot of the things that were talking about. I knew the hospitals they're referring to, So for me, maybe I hadn't added interest in it because of that. I'm not sure, but it's my vibe for this week.
I think like one of the things that was so almost lack, I mean, it's so unbelievable about that story.
Usually think about serial killers and you think about them that their reason for doing something is because they lack feeling, And then you think about this woman and the reason why or one of the motivating factors as to why she was doing this like horrendous, incomprehensible thing was because she wanted the validation and for people to feel sorry for her and to give her sympathy or to be a hero.
Almost it's so sick.
And the psychological part of it and the psychological motivation to what she did, I think is very interesting. Interesting is probably not the right word, but it is. It's like, how does someone ever get to that point? Like what is going on in that person's brain? And it's just absolutely frightening.
So just hearing how she hin, like the things that she did later on, like she would write a letter to a family, like she would she had murdered their child, and then a year later she'd written like a letter to them and written cards to them, and she would sporadically search their names and news articles.
Like Proper Proper Sick.
She would keep mementos almost from this kids' time in the family's time in hospital.
And it's crazy.
But if she was eventually found out and brought to justice and anyway, we.
Don't need to talk about it anymore. But it's a big one.
It's a hard one.
But if you are looking for another podcast, as I said, the sixty episodes, so you really do get stuck in there, all right.
My recommendation for the week is by Jesse Stevens. It is the new book that she's written. It's just come out. You guys know who Jesse Stevens is. We've had her on the podcast before. She is part of Mamma Mia out Loud. She's like one third of Mamma mea Out Loud. But she also did an interview with us not so long ago around Vaginismus, which was so interesting. But Jesse, she wrote a new book. It's called something Bad as Going On Happen Now. We recommended years ago Heartsick, which
was Jesse's first book. It was phenomenal. It was all around the universal feeling of pain that we go through when we go through heartbreak, and how heartbreak is essentially the same for everyone, but how when you experience it it is so unique for yourself. You often think nobody else has ever been this heartbroke, and nobody else could possibly have felt this much pain, because it seems insurmountable when you're going through it.
I adored her first book.
It was so well written, and I think that there were so many parts about it that even you and I, Britt, when we were reading it and comparing our kind of war stories around heartbreak, there were so many bits in that that we found so relatable.
She's a brilliant writer.
It's like speaking to your own experience, but from a third lens.
This book.
I have only just started it, so I'm recommending something that was recommended to me that I'm only a couple of chapters into. But I love the way that Jesse Stevens writes, And just to give you an overview of what the book is about. So Adela is the main character.
She's in her late twenty and the book starts with her in a psychiatric hospital, and it touches on conversations around depression, it touches on conversations around anxiety, and kind of this not coming of age, because obviously not everybody experiences these things, but this idea that maybe your life
isn't where or what you expected it to be. And I think the thing that's really interesting about this is that it starts when the book actually starts, it is a new year, so it's just come off the back
of New Years. And we've spoken about this like milestone anxiety a lot on the podcast before this feeling that especially when you kind of come through a new year, it marks for a lot of people at benchmark as to whether you've leveled up in life against the things that you've set for yourself in the previous year, whether you made those New Year's resolutions, or whether you have succeeded in whatever the arbitrary benchmark was that you placed
for yourself. And I just like I said, I love the way that Jesse writes, and I am two chapters in. It's brilliant. So far, it's very early days to give a recommendation. This is an early reco I am going to finish the book while I'm away in Balley, and then I will come back and tell you guys exactly what I think of it.
Whilst it's an early reco I think you can probably pretty safely say, you know, the rest of it's going to be great because she's just a banger, yeah okay, and produce a Keisha she has to come and jump into.
I'm literally sitting it just you know.
I'm sitting in producing Gisha's bedroom because I couldn't record from home this morning because the kids were absolutely feral. I'm sitting on her little desk and I have a pillow stuffed against the walls.
With socks on our microphone.
We've got socks back on the microphone and a coven in dog Hare.
Okay.
My recommendation for this week is actually a podcast that's done by Adore Beauty and for transparency, I had a little bit to do with the editing of one season of this, but I'm actually going to recommend the other season that I didn't have anything to do with. It's called Skincare School and it's done by doctor Michelle Wong, who you might not on Instagram as lab Muff and Beauty science. She is a cosmetic chemist. We often talk about skincare, what we're using and what's working for us.
You guys are on the skin suticals train. Yeah, so good, which I'm very jealous of. So this podcast isn't necessarily about like a particular product. It's more about, I guess you would say, the science behind how different skin care things work. And they've got episodes on like what vitamin
A is or retinol and how it actually works. They go through things like hyperpigmentation, sundamage, malasma like there's all these different episodes, So I guess you can pick and choose for whichever thing you are concerned about at the time, or maybe you just want to learn.
A little bit more about.
I was speaking about this with a friend throughout the week, and that's kind of why it was top of mind for me, because we were talking about the order that you can use products in and how you can or cannot use certain things at the same time because they can interact with each other.
And another thing that I really.
Loved that I learned from this podcast was what to spend money on and what I was able to kind of save money on with my skincare, so they do have product recommendations, but it's also about like the type of product, why certain actives like degrade over time, why you'll have them in certain colored glass bottles and you need to store them in a cupboard to make them last longer. And I am a bit of like a
science geek, but I really loved this. And I also think that if you're investing money that you work really hard for in skin care, you might as well know how it works, why it works, and how you're best going to spend that money. Skincare school, you can get it wherever you listen to your podcast. That's my recommendation for the week.
And your skin is great too, So do what Kisha says.
Thank you. I mean, I was on romakazine for nine months last year, so I've been through a skincare journey. But now it's looking fresh. Well.
I love that.
Well, let's get into the questions.
Question number one.
I've been in a relationship and living with my partner for three point five years now three and a half. He's so fun, loving, generous, accepting of me, and so affectionate with words and affirmation. There is so much that
I love about our relationship. However, when it comes to having any sort of deeper conversation, he consistently shuts down, no matter the topic, whether this be about our relationship or discussing a deeper topic of interest, for example, politics, unpacking childhoods, relationships with parents, misogyny, the patriarchy, racism, religion. He will always listen and is happy for me to
say what's on my mind. However, he never knows how to respond or how to add to the conversation, other than to say nothing or to sometimes make a senseless, immature joke. I really struggle in these moments, as it makes me feel really alone, like I'm giving a lecture to someone or having a conversation with myself.
I don't know what is.
Normal or what is a normal amount of deeper conversation that most men typically engage in for how long or for how often? I am so easily able to have these types of conversations with all my female friends, and I'm at a bit of a loss what to do. Also, it's her first real relationship, and she says that she sees him as a potential life partner. However, I feel it is important to be able to communicate well and hold deeper conversations thoughts.
I don't think you're gonna lie what I have to say.
It is really important to be able to communicate with your partner and have conversations if that's what's important to you, and it is what's important to you. It sounds like the things that you're interested in, the patriarchy, misogyny, childhood's politics, they're not everyone's cup of tea, And it sounds like it's not your partner's cup of tea, which is totally fine. His interests obviously lie elsewhere. Does that mean it's the end of the relationship. Of course not not if you're
happy to not be having these deep conversations. But I don't think you can force someone to have a conversation about something that they're genuinely not interested in. Also sounds like he's not being rude and he's listening. He just doesn't seem like he knows how to contribute on the level you are. Maybe it's just about interests, or maybe there's an intellectual difference there as well, which can definitely be a problem in some relationships.
Yeah, I think it's a tricky one because, like I have two different feelings about this, like, would I be able to be in a relationship with someone who I felt like I couldn't connect with on a deeper level. No, I think it's really important to be able to find some topics that you can relate to on a deeper level. And now it's not to say that he doesn't have necessarily an interest in it at all, but it may be that he doesn't have the emotional IQ to be
able to hold a deeper conversation. Maybe his parents never modeled that. Maybe they didn't have those types of conversations as far as he was ever privy to. Maybe they never had those types of conversations with him, And so like he maybe has gotten through life thinking that his
surface level style of conversation is deep. And I think like I've dated men in the past where they would have thought that we had a deep connection, and in my mind, I was like, I feel like you don't even know me, Like I feel like I haven't even gotten to the crux of the things that I love or who I am as a person that yet you think that what we have is deep. And I think it's because other people have different levels of expectations when it comes to this stuff.
Right.
The only thing I want to say is, like, one, you need to decide how important it is to you to be able to have the types of conversations that you have with your girlfriends with him, because if you think, guess what, that's being satiated in another area. Like you know, because sometimes we can expect our partners to be everything,
and we've spoken about this before on the podcast. We expect them to be able to have deep conversations, to treat us with beautiful affection, to love us, to you know, be that pillar of support, and also to provide some sort of spiritual relief along with everything else that a relationship does. But it's not possible for one person to
give you everything. So I guess you can make that decision. Okay, Well, maybe that part of you is going to be satisfied by your friends, the people who you can have those conversations with. And he's great for all the other reasons that you love him and are in love with him, But I do think that for me, I would struggle not being able to have a relationship with someone where they weren't even trying to get down onto a deeper level.
And when we say like topics like.
Misogyny, the patriarchy, or whatever it is that you're talking about. She also had things in there, like her childhood, like talking about the past, and sometimes I think being able to open up and share the complexities around maybe you have a challenging childhood, maybe there's been trauma, maybe you've been through a bad breakup, whatever it is, those conversations that will allow you to actually get a little bit deeper with your partner and feel like you're connected with them,
those vulnerabilities. It sounds like he struggles with getting vulnerable. Well, I think there are two different layers here.
For me, it's one thing that he doesn't have the interests you have and doesn't want to discuss politics or religion or racism. But it's another thing if he also doesn't want to show an interest in you.
They're two separate things.
I feel like it's okay to show if he's show an an interest in you and your childhood and everything else, and you still feel like you're getting that from him, It's okay to have different interests outside of that, and maybe you're having these deeper, more intellectual conversations with friends or people that share the interests that you do. I wouldn't be breaking up with someone because I'm trying to have a political conversation and they don't want a part
of it. But there has to be a meet halfway, like there has to because sometimes you do want to nut out something. It might be something that's happening in the news, some viral news at the moment. It might be Trump going to prison and being impeached. It might be whatever it is. You can have a conversation about that that's on a surface level. It doesn't have to be deep, but it's still going back and forth.
Well yeah, and I think the other part of this is, I mean, this is the first big relationship that this person's ever had. There may come a point where you don't feel intellectually challenged in your relationship, where you don't feel like you are stimulated by it, because you know, for a lot of people, once the physical side is not as strong, maybe you know, maybe the honeymoon phases over. Whatever it is you've been together for three and a half years, but like that side of things can wane.
What is left if you're not physically stimulated or if you don't have you know, I'm sure they have so much fun and the comedy or whatever else is there that kind of supplements it. But I do think you have to be able to be vulnerable and to get down on that deeper level with your partners, Like I think it's so important to most people. There might come a point where you're like, we haven't been able to
progress because he doesn't have the ability to. And maybe he doesn't have the ability because, like we said, he's not emotionally intelligent enough, or he's not at the same level as you are when it comes to your sort of EQ, but also your Q.
I also think it's okay to tell him that. I also think it's okay to say, hey, I feel like we're lacking in having these conversations, like how do you feel about this when I talk to you and you listen so well. Are you checking out internally because this bores you more than anything in the world or is it because you don't understand the topic because there's a lot of lack of education in a lot of things
happening in the world. Depends on what you do day to day, because if you're motivated to find out, well, yeah, there's a difference with being a builder, right, and you're on a job site all day. You're not scrolling the internet, you're not keeping up to date with the news. You've got that physical job that you're talking with people all day.
Then there's another whole world. If your job is online and its content and you're available to what's happening in the world, it's different because you feel like you're more connected to those world events. It could be a lack of education thing. I think I'd have the conversation with him. I wouldn't be breaking up with him, but I wouldn't be settling if I'm an unhappy But do.
You know, I think the only thing though, that would be my red flag beyond like feeling like everything is surface level, which I think is a red flag in itself. But my big red flag wouldn't so much just be that he's not interested or he's not able to hold the conversation. Does he seem to have conflicting views, like you know when you say you bring up quite deep or challenging topics and you feel like he doesn't have the ability to respond. Does he hold space for your
side of the conversation. Is he interested in it at all? Does he challenge you because he has alternate views? I think like that's where things can become more problematic when you don't have the same ideology around these sorts of things. But if it's a lack of ability or a lack of interest, I think that that's going to come down to like long term, you may just be not suited to each other when it comes to your emotional IQ.
Okay, this is a random question, very funny. I think I'm a bit of a bay to be.
Ladies, eye contact open or eyes closed during sex?
I'm very much open.
I like eye contact and I candy, but all my friends have said hands down, eyes closed, And now I feel like a psycho.
What are your thoughts?
I mean, have you got your eyes open for the whole thing? Like from war to go? It seems like are you blinking?
I don't think she's blinking? No, okay, what do you I don't want to go first?
Why?
I'm both I'm a bit a b to be.
But do you close your eyes at the start and then during climax you hold onto each other's faces and stare into each other's eyes.
I don't think about it, but I think that like I'm not like, okay, it's chapter one. I am entering with my eyes open. You're doing dogging and turning around trying to make eye contact.
Feel like when my dog does a shit and she looks over shoulder at me, Like no, I'm both.
I don't think it, Mads. I don't like excessive prolonged eye contact. I do not like that gets a bit weird for me. Like people they want to look into our eyes for twenty minutes. I'm like, stop it, Like that makes me.
Real that it's a real eye contact person? Is that too much information have across about ill? Because I'm just thinking of someone staring at me for twenty minutes in sex he Matt loves a bit of eye contact. I'm I'm eye contact avoidant. Eye contact makes me feel weird, like I'm being what are you doing when Matt's looking at you?
Oh, like I will do eye contact, but I'm not.
I We'll just find it's too much.
But he's looking at you.
Where what are you doing? I close my eyes.
I just picked your eyes going all googly like all over the place, like rolling around in so I just can't.
It's just too much.
I feel like it's too intense eye contact for prolonged periods of time throughout sex, just I don't want to giggle.
I think you've got to pick the peak moment.
Like a bit of eye contact can be sexy and hot make you feel confident, but too much makes you feel vulnerable.
And the lights are on, the eyes are open.
There's too much going on here.
Okay, what about eye contact throughout the full duration of orgasmin like right when they're coming to climax, staring intently into your eyes.
It's a lot.
Again, I don't take notes, so I'm I'm not sure that I can.
Oh no, you would know what I feel like, if you've experienced it, you would know that it's happening. I would do both. I would do both.
I think it just depends on where you are, what what's the position?
Is it nighttime? Are the lights on? There's heaps of things.
But I don't think it's weird to have a little bit of it. Oh No, I definitely don't think.
I think staggered eye contact throughout the duration of intercourse is necessary. Do I think from where to go eye contact is necessary? No, it's a little bit overbearing.
Okay.
If I had to answer, like, am I more open or more closed? I would say I'm more closed. Okay, if I'm trying to work out, like if it was a fifty to fifty pendulum, I.
Would say you'd be closed for sure. My eyes are closed, but often they open.
I'm just looking like fifty.
I don't know.
I like, I don't want anyone to listen to this and think that like I don't like eye contact. I mean, God forbid that anyone leaves this podcast with.
The wrong impression of me.
I do, but I just don't like too much of it because it makes me feel weird.
Do you make eye contact when it's pinkiness?
No. I haven't had a finger in my ass in ages. It's not the same as you're doing it when you.
No, Matt would never let me stick my finger in his ass, Oh my god.
Never.
I keep telling him he's going to enjoy it, and he's like, I will not. It will not happen.
I'm telling you, you will love it.
Seven years of our relationship and all I want to do is put a finger in his dumb and he won't let me. No, I will definitely not just do it. That goes against everything we preach it.
You almost did myself, because consent is important.
No, he's he said, he doesn't like it, and he's tried it before. I was like, we haven't tried it with my finger, and he said they're all the same. I said, my finger might be different anyway. These are the conversations we have. If I just brought you too far into our will talking about having those deep conversations with your partner. We do it whilst we make eye contact with each other, just like, oh my god, I can't look at the end of the day.
There's no right or wrong.
Do what feels right.
There's no right or wrong, but gauge what the other person's doing. If they're not making eye contact back and you're trying to stare at them, it might be too much.
They might not enjoy it.
But I do think there's something very sexy and intense about icon contact right when you're orgasming.
I think another lot another thing to think about is what noise is going on at this time, because it's one thing to be making eye contact, but if someone's really noisy and going for it, it's pretty off putting.
If they're staring at you and squealing, do it to me right now and give me your sex noise.
I don't have a sex noise. That's why you're not your silence. You're all of sex, that's not it. But if someone's taking noise and looking at you, that's weird. I think the eye open contact has to be pretty silent. Do you reckon yeah?
Or quite low decibel. I think I'm pretty silent as it is. I'm just like a low moan. Anyway, this is a lot. Let's get into the fuck.
Answered eating?
What question? That was?
Okay? Question number three.
My partner will wake up first thing in the morning and check his phone in bed guilty while he's next to me, and reply to work emails and messages he's missed overnight, whereas I'm the type of person who likes to wake.
Up not on my phone straight away.
And he will also often talk to me while he's on his phone and therefore not fully hear what I'm saying to him.
That's really annoying. We all do that.
He wakes up and goes straight into work mode, and it really irks me. As I like to have boundaries around technology. I know I can't and shouldn't tell him what to do, but I'm also struggling on my end because of it.
What can I do? I think you can have boundaries and tell him what to do. Nah, I don't. No, phone's in bed. I don't think you can tell them that.
But I think you can have a conversation that makes you unhappy and maybe dedicate ten minutes to you first. You can have a convot But I don't think you can be like this is the rule because it's both of your beds.
It's not just unless it is just your Ben, he's over there. But I'm bad for this.
I'm really bad for I wake up in the morning and I literally open my eyes, roll over, and pick up my phone within five seconds. But I feel like that's mainly because I know I'm on a real time limit to talk to Ben, because I'm in this long distance relationship. When I wake up, it's really late at night for him, so I know he's going to bed. So the second I roll over, I wake up and I basically call him.
Yeah.
But that's different.
You're literally waking up to answer your phone to make contact with your partner.
Exact.
The thing is is most people in relationships are lying in bed next to each other, and then they roll over the opposite direction to their partner. They roll away from their partner, they pick up their phone and then instantly there's this barrier between them because their whole cognitive ability is distracted by that little screen.
Again, I don't think checking your phone is the end of the world if you can check it and then roll back over and give your partner the attention they need. Like, if you have a business that is run on international hours, if you're doing banking, trading, whatever it is that things are happening for your business overnight, then you probably have to wake up and check that and make sure everything's in order. But then you've got to be able to
roll back over and give your partner some attention. You one hundred percent can say yo, every single morning, you make me feel pretty shitty because I feel like you don't even care I'm there.
I feel like you're not listening to me.
You can one hundred percent say that it's very dependent on what he's checking.
If he's rolling over and he's on TikTok and you're like, I'm naked in bed wanting some attention, and he'd rather scrolled chicktak ticktack, it's the problem.
I don't know.
I think that they're Yes, you can't make your partner do something that they don't want to do right, Like, you can obviously tell them how you feel about it, but I do think you can have boundaries when it comes to bed, like no phone's in bed. If that's something that's making you so upset, like it's something that's really an issue for you, then it means that if he wants to then use his phone, put it on
charge on the other side of the room. So at least when he wakes up, the first thing he does is roll over and give you a kiss, and then he has to physically get up out of bed if he.
Wants to check you.
Up phone please, It could be worse He's like, I'm up now because I're gonna get up to get.
My phone, which might actually be what happens.
But at least then you know it's easier to kind of explain to him the barrier that that creates for you. But I think so many of us are guilty of doing it. I know I do it with Matt, like phones have been created. We did a really great episode with Johann Hari last year. It was called this One's for the scatter Brains, and I will put the episode in the show notes that you can go back and listen to it, because it truly was such an amazing chat.
But Johann Hari was talking about how phones and all of the apps that are on phones are created in order to keep your attention for as much time as possible, and like we live in a world where our attention is constantly being stolen from us, and it's so hard to fight against it. So like he is a victim of what we all are victims of. You know, it's the minority of people who have healthy boundaries when it comes to technology. I know when I've spoken about it
before because its definitely something that I struggle with. It's something that Matt struggles with, and I would be interested to hear brit how you go when you are in Scotland and you are actually in bed next to Ben, whether you do roll over and check Instagram or check your emails, because.
It's exactly the same. I roll over and I'm straight on my phone.
Because of what I said before, people work international hours, so when I wake up in Scotland, you guys back here and everyone else that we work with with the radio and whoever have been working in the workday.
So the first thing I do.
And I'm doing email straight away while Ben's in bed, because as people need to reply to and get back to.
But then I give him full time, Like I'm like two. I will say to him, can you give me five minutes?
I'm going to smash out some emails and urgent responses, and then I'm all yours, But.
I have to roll over and start that work day.
I would be so interested it. Maybe it's something that we can poll on social media. I would be so interested to know how many people have relationship dissatisfaction at the moment because they feel as though their partner all themselves spends too much time on their phone. I think that the answers to that will be absolutely alarming. I'm just guessing, and I'm maybe projecting because it is something that, like I said, you know, we struggle with.
But I do think that for a.
Lot of people, that comes a point where you have to put in boundaries, you have to put in rules, and it's almost like those rules, most people stick to them for a couple of days or a couple of weeks, and then it all just kind of goes back to normal. But I think having no phones in bed is a really good one and a really big one if you want to start to kind of like have a little bit of separation between your relationship and technology, and having an iPhone in between the two of you.
I reckon the majority of people would say they have a level of dissatisfaction. I would imagine that's how the pole will come back.
Because of phone, not because the phone, because of how easy it is to be distracted, because of how easy it is to doom scroll. And you know, I actually I watched this really interesting TikTok the other day and lol, that's a fucking irony in itself, Okay, And it was.
You spent at seven am the other morning and I was watching TikTok.
I told Matt I needed to go to sleep earlier, but really I stayed in bed watching tiatoks. No that
this TikTok was it was a split screen. It was pretty juvenile in the way that it was creator, but it did make you think like it was a split screen around relationships, and it was like, it's the small things that you do that reinforces feeling loved and validated in a relationship vers feeling like you're you don't exist, like feeling like a ghost and basically the first one was the woman walked through the door and the husband got up and gave her a kiss. Right, it was
heterosexual couple. The husband got up and gave her a kiss. And in the second one, the woman walked through the door and the husband was sitting on the couch on his phone, and it was like from the very instant that she got home from work, there was a level
of dismissiveness. And then it was like the same thing going to bed, rolling over and giving each other a kiss good night, and you know, having that ten minutes to kind of debrief or whatever it is just before going to sleep, rather than scrolling and then turning your back on each other and saying good night, you know,
and putting your phone on charge again. And it's all these little microactions that we have throughout the day and throughout our interactions with our partners, whether we lean into the relationship or whether we lean away from.
It by being on technology.
I watched it and I was like, it's so true, and so many of us are guilty for it. Last up, I have a work question. Now this one. I have some advice on this because I had a similar situation. Happens recently with Tony May. All right, when applying for a new job and the salary is a range, for example thirty five dollars an hour up to fifty two dollars an hour, and they ask what you're expecting when you're at the screening slash interview process. How do you
know what price to ask for? How much money you should price yourself as? What are some tips for self confidence going into negotiations when it comes to money and work.
Brittany is the negotiator of life uncut.
Oh yeah, I negotiate everything.
I'm the money person. Brittany is the hustler hard I have hustled in our time.
Look my instinct and the first thing I want to say is you'd be gone for the top dollar. Everyone wants to be paid the most for their work and for who they are and for what they bring. Nobody wants to feel undervalued or underpaid in a job. Ever, it's always tricky when a salary is arranged, Like they're not saying this is what we pay, this is what we expect. They're saying this is what we can pay. I would always go in armed with what you can bring and why you deserve that that's what they want
to hear. They want to say, this is what we've got available, but tell us why we need to pay you the most. So you need to go in with a list of your qualifications to job, what you can bring, and you need to add in a bit of spice. What's your point of difference. They're going to see twenty five people in this day that are all going to say the same thing. I think I should be on fifty two dollars an hour because this is and this
bring a bit of personality, bring something different. Show so an example, look, research the company, the job that you're going for, Research their mottos, what they're looking for. I know that this is the job you've said, but I reckon I could add this. I think we could pivot somewhere here and go this direction, use some initiative. The only thing I do want to say is the reason they have these ranges is because people do come with different qualifications.
If you've just finished UNI.
And you have no experience and this is your first job, you're going and probably going at the more entry level wage of thirty five to forty. But if you've been in this industry for twenty years, you're gonna be worth the highest bracket because you've got the experience that someone else doesn't.
So you go in confident and know you're worth and know what you can bring. If you have on paper in front of them why you are the perfect person for the job, and why there's no crack that they could possibly be filled for you in that position while you feel every single crack, they can't argue the point. But if you don't have that information when you go into a job interview, if you cannot sell yourself, they're not going to give you the heights rate.
Yeah, but it's still it is still hard, right because I think this does it's a confidence game massively. But also we don't know what this industry is. It could be an industry where fifty sixty people all have similar qualifications and they've all applied for the job. And of course there's going to be your general vibe to that
applicant when you're interviewing them. And I say this from as a business owner who has hired multiple people through Tony May you have a general vibe as to how they're going to fit into the team in terms of culture, Like you get it. You either get a good feeling for people, or you're like, oh, maybe they won't be a good culture fit.
Now.
The thing is, though, you might have multiple people who seem like a good culture fit, and then you'll have people who ask for different pay brackets. Right, And you're exactly right, Britt, Like you have to kind of explain as to why you deserve a certain pay bracket. But interestingly, and on the flip side to this, I think that there are so many people who really want to work for a company or really want to work in a position, and so they will devalue what they're asking for because
they think that makes them more competitive. Right, They're like, Okay, I'm not going to ask for fifty dollars an hour. I'm going to ask for thirty seven dollars an hour, even though they know that they could earn more than that, even though they know that they are deserving or they will be dissatisfied with earning thirty five an hour, but they say it because they're so fearful about missing out on the job.
Right.
And this was an instance that we had recently with someone with Tony May who we hired, and I asked them, like, what are you looking for? We hadn't put out an amount on the job application, and I was like, what are you looking for in terms of payment for the job. And the amount that she said was like ten thousand dollars less than what we had budgeted for that job that we had expected it to go for. And I had a moment as an employer and I think that this would come as a surprise for me.
That wasn't a plus.
I wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm going to say ten thousand dollars on this person's career. It made me annoy that she was devaluing herself. It made me think like, oh, do you not have the skills set to do this job? Or have you not done this job before? Because this is what you should be earning almost And it's kind of like you want someone in your business who has confidence and who can back themselves and can explain why they back themselves.
I think that that's a really admirable trait.
And I know there's going to be a lot of businesses who don't have those feelings, because that's an anomally you reckon.
Because I one hundred there are not that many businesses out there now due to the economical crisis everything. There's not that many businesses out there being like, I'm going to throw you an extra ten grand. If someone comes in and says their selves at that value, I reckon ninety percent of businesses and say amazing, Yes.
But I think the opposite to that is there are a lot of businesses that exploit their employees. There's a lot of businesses that have bad culture. And so if you're not going to get paid what you're worth working for someone, unless it is a situation where you are in dire need of a job, unless it is you're unemployed and you need to just get money and food on the table, that's a different circumstance.
But what I'm talking about.
Is if you're changing jobs, if you are pivoting careers, if you are going through the interview process and you are just really wanting the job because you really want to work for this company, for example, if they aggressively will devalue what you are worth, and you're willing to devalue yourself because you want to work there, you're only
going to end up resentful. You're only going to end up hating the job because in six months time, when you're earning not enough money for doing the work that you know you should be paid for, you will fucking hate it. So I think you have to pick a number in your head and go in with the confidence and explain why that is the amount that you think you deserve and that you want.
That's really difficult what you said. I'm just thinking. I was thinking back as you were talking. I've never ever seen a job interview or gone for a job that hasn't had a price bracket or a price guide. I've never had a job like you put out that said, tell me what you want to be paid.
Oh no, we had obviously have you have to when you put a thing up on sek, it's got a price guide to it, but you don't have to make a price guide visible, right, So when you search, it'll still come up within a certain pay bracket. And every job, whether it be a logistics manager or a customer service manager, has a medium price, right, So she still knew the bracket.
There's still a.
Bracket within the industry. But I mean you can pay people at the very bottom end of a bracket, or you can pay people at the middle. And I think companies who purposely pay their employees at the very bottom end of their And I'm not just talking about if it's a casual job where there's set wage like award wages.
I'm talking about, you know, having like average.
If you are working for a company that picks the very bottom wage for every single person, then I think that's a pretty fucking shitty culture to work for in a company.
See, I mean, I spent thirteen years in the hospital system.
Public hospitals is probably even worse. Private and public they're both the same pretty much. But I have never not had to argue why. And maybe this is why I'm such a good negotiator, but I've never had to not argue my wage ever. Improve myself and everyone that works everyone listening now will know exactly what I'm talking about.
You have to to go upper price bracket. You have to prove every skill you've got, how long you've done it, how long you've been in that specific modality, what hospitals you've worked at, why you should be able to.
Jump up into the next bracket.
So you're constantly trying to prove they will always pay you the minimum and let you prove otherwise. Once it's on paper and you've proven your skill set and why you're worth it. They have no choice but to put you up. And I think that's a lot of industries. If you can prove your worth, they will most likely give you what you are worth.
Now, that's the.
Thing, right, You've got to in order to be able to prove your worth, you have to have the self confidence that you are worthy. The thing is is it's so hard to ask for a raise the first time. Anyone who's had to walk into their boss's office and try and pitch as to why they deserve ten percent,
twenty percent, whatever it is that you're asking for. It is so fucking nerve racking to go in there and be like, I want fourteen percent pay rise because if this is in this reason, I go in there, put in paper, send an email.
It's so hard.
But the thing is is, like anything that you do that's new in life, the first time you do it, it's gonna suck, it's going to feel awful. They may say no, they may come back with a negotiation, meeting you halfway. But then the next time you do it, you kind of build up your thick skin around it till you get to a point where you're like, Okay, I had the confidence I know my worth and I'm not going to work for less than that.
The other thing is here, we are talking from so much privilege. Here, we are talking from positions. This advice is if you're privileged enough that you can say no to a job, if they're not going to hunt at work. There are a lot of people out there now and I feel like we've all been in that position that you will take whatever you can get because job security is scarce, and getting a great job at the moment, off the back of COVID and everything, it's really hard.
So there are going to be times where you say, you know what, I will take a ten dollar an hour cut to get this job, and I will need it and because I need it, and then I'll do it for a year, and then in a year, I know that I will go and tell them. I will show them in the year, show your employer why you are not replaceable and why you are of value to that company or whatever position you're in. Go back a
year later and then try and negotiate. Because it's easy for us to sit here and be like, no, you're worth and you should know you're worth. But unfortunately reality doesn't bless us in that way in this day and age, So I understand. I mean I have taken so many jobs, hospit jobs and non hospital jobs that I knew when I could get more somewhere else, and I knew I was worth more. But they were like, look, we know you've got that skill set, but this is a job on offer, this is in our budget.
And you're like, well, fuck, but okay, I'll take it.
I've got rent and I've got bills, and there's no other position going, so I'm going to take it. Most people are going to be in that position where they don't have the blessing to.
Be like, fuck you, I'm with more. I'm going to go and find it somewhere else.
But don't you then that you think that that contradicts what you said at the very beginning in terms of like going in and asking for the highest amount.
I think it what it needs. It depends in your position.
Yeah, And I think that's why, like you know, we said that in the middle of this kind of saying. We're talking about if it is purely that you have the opportunity to and you have the privilege to be able to move within your career or you're starting a new job. But job security is not the issue in this right like you have the opportunity to negotiate, because if job security is the issue, then you don't have
the opportunity to negotiate. You got to take whatever's available so that you can put food.
On the table.
But the thing is, it doesn't change what I'm saying that much because if the company has said this is the bracket, you know they've got that to pay, So you just need to show them why. That's the reason I still don't think. I don't think you're going cocky in like a wanga. But they're not saying we've got thirty five dollars and you're going in saying I want forty. They've given you the bracket. You're just trying to say
why you think you deserve the upper end. If you are slightly worried, take a dollar off, take it two dollars off, so it doesn't look like you've gone at one hundred percent, but you've gone into ninety five percent, and then know that in a year's time you can go back for that extra couple of dollars or whatever you knocked off. But I wouldn't be selling yourself short and going in at the very very base level. They have put a bracket there, a price bracket for a reason.
They have that to spend totally.
They're just looking for the right person and they want to know why they want justification.
All right, Well that is it from us, guys. Another ask gun cut done and dusted. If you have any questions for us for ask gun cuts, slide into the dms.
Also if you.
Have any ask gun cuts that you want us to answer at the live show, like if you're coming to a live show, if you want us on stage talking about you anonymously and so you can sit there in the audience being like ooh that question is mad question.
We will do it live on stage.
Send ask your questions, tell us what show you're coming to, tell us if you want it to be for the podcast and we may make it happen. But you can slide into our dms on Instagram for that. Also reminder go get your tickets from lifelun cuppodcast dot com dot au for all of the shows in Australia and also Auckland.
And don't forget we are taking a one week break because we didn't get a break this year.
Actually this is the first holiday we're taking. This is the first week we took off the podcast this year.
Oh my god, I just.
Said that out loud.
I need to be fair.
We've not taken a holiday off actually bringing out content. We've beat away, we've done things, we've lived a life, yeah, but we haven't actually had a week.
Yeah, and this is mandatory.
Yeah, no podcast holiday.
The podcast gods came to us and they said, you need to take a week off.
So we're doing it.
I'm going to be in Bali, BRIT's gonna be horizontal, getting a dicking hang in. Yeah, it's going to be great for everyone.
Not necessarily horizontal handstand lots of different places.
But I guess you who the fuck is doing a handstead do not me.
My joints can't hold myself up anymore. I'm too old for that kind of stuff.
Handstand sex is the thing you try once in your twenties with a boy that you never marry. You're never marrying the guy that you tried handstand sex with. Just FYI, Well, I don't know.
Maybe I'll give it a whirl just because you said that people don't do it.
Once you're in you're like mid thirties, those elbows are not what they used to be.
No, he'd have to do all the work. I can't hold myself up anymore. Those days are gone.
Anyway. We're having a week off, so we'll see you the week after.
And yeah, we can't wait to see you guys.
All with the live shows. We love your lots, We miss your lots, and don't forget to you, Mum, to you, Dad, Telly Dog. Tear friends and share the love because we love lo
The ban were bam urabaya.