Into the microphone this time. Bring it hi, guys, and welcome back to our very special episode of the week. This is Ask Uncut. Think of this episode as a warm hug, your free therapy session where we answer all of the deep, dark and dirty questions that you have been writing into us. Well not all of them. We pick out a select few and we answer them personally.
I still love how every episode you call it this is a very special episode, and I'm like, nope, this comes every Thursday.
It's still very special.
I mean, all of our episodes are special to us, but I still love that that's how you sell it. What have you done in the last few days. Surely you've done something fun in this lockdown. I just realized my headphones aren't working. It's very disappointing.
I go rogue now. I don't even use them. I don't. I just don't feel comfortable. I feel so naked podcasting without headphones on, Like I'm out there wild and flapping in the winged I sleep naked, do you know? Well?
No, okay, that's a lie. I don't sleep naked but in undies. But that's it.
I have to sleep with undies on because otherwise I feel too like, what if something I don't know, like, what is going to happen? What if Matt thinks it's an invitation and I'm very tired. Oh my god, don't touch me West nightmare. You can never be too prepared or too cautious, ladies, protect yourself.
I did actually see that you did a bit of an art class this week on your daughter's face.
Today. I have very productive day everyone, This is what BRIT's referring to this. That was a subtle, jab very very productive day working from home. I just drew some eyebrows on Muley and that took me about two hours, because that's that's what well. You had to contour them them highlight that gys having a browse on fleeck is
very time consuming and also very important. Stockpiling all of the embarrassing photos of her so that I can whip them out at her twenty first, because that's what parents are for.
If you haven't seen the photo, go and have a lookis on Laura's Instagram's.
Chat Lady and a Cat in case you weren't sure, that's my Instagram. You're welcome, come on down to instagram town. Very subtle Laura subtle. Oh don't no, no, no, Brittany, no, no, no. What have you been up to you? But it's only been twenty four hours since I've seen you. But what have you been doing? I haven't bet you swirling your wine around? I hadn't event for twenty four hours. I filmed a dance video. I've risky business in my underwear
Tom Cruise dance video. Oh you've joined the TikTok ranks? How did you? No? It wasn't even TikTok, just same but similar content. It sounds beautiful, really proud of you. But I had a lot of fun doing it. I missed dancing, I miss going out and just having a really good time.
And when I was like running around my house andy sliding across the floor, I just thought, I cannot wait until I can get in the club after Corona.
What is the club in the club? Is that like a mother's group? Is that what a club is? Now? I don't even know. Do you know what that when you push your prams and you go for a walk? Is that a club?
You and I are going to go to the club when because we have to celebrate our million here actually by then maybe two million.
That is a sure fire way to make me feel extremely old. I will stay away from all clubs and all young people having fun. Speaking of TikTok videos though, and guys, if you're having a bad day, this is gonna make you feel so much better about yourself. I read on the news today that there was a twenty seven year old mum who broke both her ankles trying to create a TikTok video. Hahaa, an absolute legend. That's
definitely not what she was. But I really feel like this is just going to drive the point home, and that is that we are all too old for TikTok. I think if you're twenty two and above, you're too old for TikTok. I think I need to tell Matt this as well, since he's really embraced the whole thing. No, look, TikTok's fun and it takes your mind off things. But what I want to know, like the real question here is what TikTok dance was she doing? Do you know?
I don't know, I don't know how to sing it, but it's O Nana sing it please, I don't know. Well I thought it was that, oh Nana. It's definitely not that it's like some no, no, no, it's not that. Stop. Let's let's stop doing this.
Okay, Well, anyway, she broke her ankles. That's very unfortunate, so guys, don't try that at home.
Let's not shall we get into the questions I reckon? All right? If you're still with us at this point? Or do we want three minutes? In three minutes? In guys? Here we are. That's what Laura says when she's I won't go there. So for anyone who has written in questions this week at Life Uncut Podcast to Instagram or on our face group page, which is Life Uncut Podcast, I don't know why that was so hard. You know it's got Facebook, not face group. Did I say face
group on our face group page? Oh? Man, life is really difful. Anyway, Look, thank you for writing in your questions. We do take this really seriously. We feel so incredibly privileged that you trust us with our opinions, with our feedback,
with our life advice. But we just want to say to everyone who does write in, we so deeply appreciate it, and it's good to know that, you know, we all go through these different hurdles in our lives at different times, and you are so normal because I guarantee we have probably been there and done at ourselves ten times worse, ten times worse.
I hope you guys know and realize too that whilst Laura and I are a lot of the time, majority of the time we can be silly, we take the piss out of each other. We have a really great time on here, but we do take these questions very seriously, so I hope you can see the contrast in the podcast, but know that when you do write into us, it is taken very seriously and we might have a laugh on either side of that, but we do really want to give you the best possible advice.
So I just wanted to pop that disclaimer in. Well, give us the first question. Brittany, okay, ahem.
I have been dating my partner for over two years and things are mostly great. We have some issues, as all couples do, but there is one big problem. Neither of us can climax in the bedroom. It's enjoyable, but there's no big bang, not even close. We are pretty open about this and we have tried many different things, but it doesn't seem to be working. She has always had trouble with this in the past, but I can climax when I'm on my own, and I haven't had
this issue in my past relationships. For the past year, I've been finding myself having regular sex dreams about other people, and I just don't know what to do about this, because I feel like maybe we're just not sexually compatible. Do you guys think that this is a deal break in a relationship. I really love her, but I don't want to live my whole life sexually frustrated and unsatisfied.
Maybe we are better as friends. I just don't know what to do or what to think. Sex is so important in a relationship. Having that physical chemistry is so important. There's different aspects of it, and like, yes, climaxing is kind of the end goal, but there's so many aspects of it that that are also important and that can
kind of lead you to that. I guess only you know if having an orgasm is a deal breaker for you, Like for some people it would be, and for other people it's not, and that's okay because everything on that spectrum is fine. I think, would it be a deal breaker for me if I didn't enjoy sex with my partner? Probably to be honest, before I just called it quits because I wasn't sexually satisfied, I would make sure that I was trying every single thing possible to try and
get there before I made a call on this. Look, there are a lot of women I'm gonna step in there, Laura. There are a lot of women that actually can't orgasm.
It doesn't matter what they do. We should talk about that sometime. But they science says no, computer says no. They physically cannot achieve it on their own. This girl has said that she can do it on her own, so a we know it is possible for her to get there. So it's something that isn't quite clicking with them together.
I wonder how honest have you been? Obviously you know what works for you.
So if you haven't already had this really honest chat, have the chat. Tell her what you do or show her what you do. Maybe she just needs a bit of guidance for what suits you or what tickles your fancy. Literally, no punt intended, actually puntingtendent fully pun fully intended anything in the bedroom between a couple. When there's issues, it
comes down to communication. Because everybody is so different and the way maybe her past relationships she has done other things and it's worked in other ways, and then she's met you and she's doing the same thing she used to do, but it's.
Not working for you.
So just I would just straight up tell her or show her. Obviously these girls are in the same sex relationship.
She has said that.
She said she can't talk to her friends about it because they literally say to her, you need some dick, She wrote.
It's such an unhelpful It's like, you don't ridiculous. So you can have penetrative sex without having a penis in the bedroom, like you can buy toys, you can buy a vibrator. There are so many other options there that you can explore with your partner. If you're open to experimenting, if you're open to having those very raw conversations with your partner, that can open up a whole new sexual experience for you both that you might both be able to enjoy. To round it up, I just.
Definitely don't think that it's a deal breakup straight away. I don't think that you need to go and take any drastic measures and break up because you can't climax in the bedroom from what you have said, you guys have a great, healthy relationship in every other aspect, so why don't you work on that you can go to sounds funny, but there are sex classes.
There are actual.
Classes that go and show you different ways to do things in a bedroom help you can reconnect with your partner. And they're not necessarily really serious therapy sessions. They're like they can be really quite light harded and fun and.
I love it. I was like, I was like, no, this is a deal breaker for me. But now the more that you're speaking, I'm like yes, I'm like, yes, you stay there, you work on your relationship. Yeah, you I blore each other together. This is great advice, Brittany, keep going well.
I just think once you've done all those things and you have tried that, and you have explored classes together, and you've had fun together, and you've openly said what you feels missing, what you want, what makes you turned on, then you can reassess if it's a deal breaker. If you know that you will be sexually frustrated for the rest of your life and then that is going to roll over into your life. Is that going to make
you resent her the next day? Is it going to make you want to argue with her in other ways, then for sure that's when it's a problem. And I do think, like, just to elaborate on what Britt has said, like, if you have exhausted all options and this is something that is so important to you and you're still not satisfied and you're still not getting what you want out of the relationship, you will know if this is a deal breaker for you. Like we said at the beginning,
this varies for every single person. And so unless you get to a point where you're like I tried everything, I'm not satisfied, I'm not happy, then I think you keep you keep pushing on because there's always going to be things in a relationship that you're not happy with.
There's always going to be aspects that you have to work on, and whether it's in the bedroom, whether it's communication, whether it's bloody cooking and cleaning, like, there's always going to be something in your relationship that you need to work on, and for you it's and for you it's getting that big O.
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. That's actually a really good point, Laura, fact that there's always something whether it's baby, never cook baby, never clean, babe.
You never get me off. There's always something and in this case, it's just that it's sexual.
But I agree with that you It wouldn't be a deal breaker if someone wasn't contributing to the cleaning every week. You would talk about it and say can you can you pull your weight please? So I really love that you brought that up. Let's go on to question number two. Great, I reckon, we can do it. Enjoy Enjoy the practice that you're going to have. We go get practicing, girlfriends. We all know that it's not the destination but the journey. Go. How's that for a bit of sweet pie advice? So deep?
All right? Next one question question number two. I'm twenty five and I've been in a relationship for nearly four years. We live together and have a very stable lifestyle. We have great jobs financially okay, good friends foundly nearby. I have always been in long term relationships ever since I was a teenager. For a while, I.
Having feeling like I've missed out on that part of my life where I am just single and young and figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life. I feel I need to make up my mind as to whether I happily commit to this relationship from now on in or do we go out separate ways so that I can spread my wings
and experience total independence. She's scared to leave him, but there's a possibility he could be a penguin, and she just doesn't know what to do if she is thinking that there's a dream partner out there that is more than her partner now.
So I think this is a case of is the grass always greener? The grass is not always greener, my girlfriend, I've been there, done, that's it's brown. It's brown. Also, I think the one thing that I really want to drive home from this question is there are aspects in your relationship that you're that you're questioning right now, obviously, like you're like, oh, you know, did I miss out on?
Did I miss out on being young and being free and being able to travel and being able to you know, hook up with whatever guy at whatever bar that I want to hook up with. But I guarantee you that if you break up with your partner and you're doing that, there will be days where you will feel lonely, and there will be days where you will question whether you made the right decision, and there will be days where you miss your partner because it fundamentally doesn't sound like
there is anything wrong with your relationship. It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with him. It's just this feeling that maybe you missed out on something that you didn't get to have. I think don't go making any rash decisions about your relationship. Don't go breaking up with your partner just because you think you've missed out on something,
because you haven't missed out on something. Everybody's experience is different, everybody's journey in relationships is different, and maybe you did just find the right person to be with. We did actually do an episode on this episode eight, and it is cooled.
The grass is always greener. So for anybody that's sort of new to the podcast and didn't start from the beginning, I recommend going back and having listen to that. But my advice here is I think you really need to decide within yourself what you think you're missing out on and what you want to go and achieve. So ask yourself, if I was not with my partner right now, what would I be doing Differently? Is it that you want to go and travel? Is it that you want to have more experience sexually?
Is it that you want to live on your own? What is it that is pulling you and drawing you to this single life?
Because they're all they all have very different endings and they have very different journeys. So I know personally, for me, I had this exact same thing. I was with my first partner for eight years. Four years in I had.
The feeling that this girl has where she's like, what else is out there in the world? Is it for me?
Am I going to stay here with his partner forever? And I did a lot of soul searching and decided that what it was for me that I felt like I was missing out on was just seeing the world. And my partner at the time, he had a job that he couldn't leave, and we decided together that I would go, and I left for a year and I moved overseas and I traveled and we stayed together for four years after that. We didn't cheat on each other, We were completely faithful in that year that we're apart.
But I knew that what was missing for me and what I was searching for was just that aspect of travel and adventure. I think you really need to take a look at your relationship and yourself and if you just feel like you're missing out on some life, maybe there's a way you could do that. I'm not saying to move away for a year, because that's not really compatible for a lot of people.
It worked for us. Sure it's not gonna wait for everybody.
But if it's that you feel like you are missing out on sex, or you're missing out on just random hook ups or getting drunk and not coming home that night, if that's what you feel like you're missing out on, then yeah, you need to probably reassess your relationship. But if it's just that you want to go and live in a different city, talk to your partner. Maybe you can go and live together. Maybe you could travel together,
maybe you could move overseas together. There are so many other ways to fill a void.
You just need to nut out what your void is like. On this podcast, I mean, we preach owning your single life and like loving being on your own and being able to enjoy your own company and being like strong and independent, and I fully stand by that, but I also want to preach that it is incredible to be in a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship. Just because you have settled down early or you have settled down now,
it doesn't mean that you're missing out on anything. You're getting something different to what someone who is single is getting. You haven't missed out on anything. Made The hookups aren't that good? Yeah, like they are. They're for fun. Like, don't get me wrong, it's fun. It's great fun. But
so is being in a relationship. And I have one girlfriend of mine who has been with her partner since she was seventeen, and she's now in her mid to late twenties, so very similar aged to what you are, and she's never been with anybody else, not sexually, not in a relationship in note, he is her only partner. And I remember when she was in her early twenties, she kind of went through this period where she was
like have I like should I stay with him? Or should I break up with him and go and explore what the world is? You know? And she didn't because she loved him, and at the end of the day, you know, he was a really, really great partner to her. It's just that in today's day and age, you don't think that you're going to find your partner that young because it's you. We're encouraged to go and like live your best single life, but it's not necessarily everyone's journey.
And if yours is that you've met someone who's great, then don't compare yourself to other people who are doing that.
I also think it's important to realize and remember that even really healthy, long term couples that are in love and so happy, it's normal to look at someone else and be like, oh, I wonder what that would be, like, Oh, they're attractive.
Or that's so normal.
And that doesn't mean, oh my god, should I break up with my partner because I had this thought?
Absolutely not. Human nature is.
To always admire, look explore everything in life. So if someone walks past you in the street and you're like, oh, I wish I could have slept with him, that's cool.
You could think. You can think that to yourself absolutely and still be in a loving relationship. You've been with this person for four years. Like the crazy intensity of feelings that you have, they come in ebbs and flows, like there'll be some weeks where you don't love your partner as much. That's normal, and then there'll be weeks where you feel so incredibly in love, and you'll think, how the hell did I ever question potentially being single?
Like that's crazy. But I think you just ride those waves of emotions. Unless this feeling is a constant that doesn't go away, that's when you really have to reassess where you're at. But if it's not a constant, if it's not this unwavering feeling, then I think put your energy back into your relationship instead of putting your energy into Have I missed out on something else I had?
Like you said your friend, I had a friend who was with her partner forever, long term, loved each other, adored each other. But she was having this feeling of am I missing out on hooking up and just seeing who who's in the world? And she do the opposite of your friend, and she left. She very very quickly
realized that the grass was not greener. She said to me, I just thought I would be meeting the most amazing men and having so much fun and like hooking up with them and like casually dating here and here, and she's She's like, so far, I'm lonely. They're all assholes. I feel bad when they don't swipe on me or talk to me online dating, and she just had this real slap in the face about what the other side was.
And I thought that was really interesting, and it's a really good example of what we fantasize and romanticize in our head.
It misses the mark of what reality actually is. Question number three O.
Yeah, this is a different one, but this is like this. I think a lot of people are going to really relate to this. I have been with my partner for two and a half years, and when we were together friendly about six months, we got a puppy together. We both loved the dog equally, but I've probably spent slightly more time with it because I had more time in the mornings to run with it. Also, I was on
the took at to puppy preschool. Having said that we both love it equally, we have now split up who takes the dog because we are fiercely fighting over this.
This is not a laughing matter, it's not, but very sorry. I take this very seriously. I think this is going to happen. I mean, think of how many so many couples split and so many couples have dogs. I think this is a question that's going to hit home to a lot of people. Okay, so I have a strong feeling towards this. Can I tell you what I think? Are you going to go? I'm going to make You're not taking my dog? No, I don't think that you
can co parent a dog. I think that co parenting an animal puts unnecessary strain on your ability to sever the relationships. So instead of being able to have no contact, which is something that we preach on this podcast, when you go through a breakup, you need to have a period of time where you do not speak to your partner, your ex partner, and that is really imperative for your own personal healing. So I think co parenting a dog
that cancels that out. It means that you have to speak to them every week or every two weeks or whatever it is. So I think initially one of you has to take the dog and the other person has to relinquish that. How you decide on that, I think that that decision has to be made based on what's
best for the dog. So whoever has the yard, whoever has the working hours, whoever has the capacity to better take care of the dog, then unfortunately, there needs to just be a decision that's made that is a little bit selfless in this, and that's the person who takes the dog. But for both of your personal healing and development, you cannot co parent at the beginning. I have actually there my thoughts. Boom boom, Mike drop take it. I'm out of here. I'm gonna go pull myself a whine.
Well not yeah, you can get a one while I talk, and I'll pretend you just to hear.
I have been in this exact situation, so I have a lot of feels and opinions about it. The same partner I just spoke about in the earlier question. I was with him for eight years, four years deep, and I moved overseas.
Same guy.
We got two dogs together when I was twenty he was twenty four, so had we had the dogs together for four years. We had a house together and all that jazz. When we split up, he kept the house and I moved out, so the dogs at the start stayed with the house because that's what made sense. The house was on the beach and the house had a really big yard, and.
That was what made sense. But we did the co parenting thing for quite a while.
Because if you really really know me, well, you will know I'm obsessed with dogs, and it's like ripping my heart out right now that I can't have one. I've never not had one. So I went to see them most days and I would just go and pick them up and run with them, and we tried this co parenting thing and it was awful.
I loved my time with my dogs. But I remember one day going over.
There to pick them up and there was a girl there because he'd started seeing someone, and it just tore I hate him.
He was a great guy. Actually he is a great guy, but it tore my heart out. But I still took them and I continued to do that, and I kept seeing him with his other relationship or whatever he was doing, and I quickly realized that I had to savertize. Then I had to make the decision of who takes the dogs. I definitely was the one that got the dogs in the first place. I loved the dogs. I wanted the dogs more than anything.
But the fact of the matter was he was keeping our house with the yard on the beach, and he was like an adventure man. I knew he would look after them and run them every day. They were border Collies, so like so much energy I was moving to Sydney to a smaller apartment. I wanted to take them, and I could have taken them, but I knew that their life would be better to stay with him, and I made the decision. And I cried for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks, but I made the decision for
the dogs. So I think, ultimately, you need to do what's right for the animal at the time, and whatever that's going to be, maybe you are gonna have to say goodbye. And I say that like, I don't say that easily because I was obsessed, and I was obsessed and I one of them is still alive.
She's thirteen and I still look at pictures of her. She instad dogs the dog. But also I think ladies and gentlemen stay woke because people use animals to emotionally manipulate.
So and when I say this, and I know that this sounds like I'm being crazy, but I think that having a shared animal can turn into an emotional bargaining tool where if one person isn't ready to actually split with the other person, or if one person is still trying to get in contact with it becomes very easy then for that person to continue to access your life, and so you don't want to allow your ex to have an emotional bargaining tool over anything to do with
your life. You really need to sever that relationship. And unless it's children, which is very very different, Like we're not going to bundle pets and children into the same category, even though I understand that there is an intense emotional connection to your pets. Like I have a dog. I can only imagine how heartbreaking that would be to have to allow matt to take my would never happen. I would get the dog real, but you would get everything.
Don't even think about it, Matthew Johnson. But no, But but I really really strongly think that it's very difficult to co parent an animal. And I know people who have done it, and they've all every single person I know who has done it, it has worked out the same way. After five months or six months or whatever period it is, one person has decided that they're not going to take the dog, They're gonna they're going to give it to the other person. There's always somebody who
backs down on it. Because you cannot co parent an animal indefinitely for ten years, ten years, like it just means that you're ex unless you've stayed friends, unless you're totally on this crazily amazing platonic level, which is just props to you, that's incredible. Unless you're there, then I think it's impossible to do because breakups are fucking hard. They hurt, and I think you just have to cut a sever and cut the ties.
So do you know this is something and this is not for everybody, But I'm going to tell you this crazy story of what we did when we split, and I said, you take them and look after them and whatever else.
I said, don't ever hesitate to call me for when they need an operation or they need a vet.
Bill, and I'll split it because part of me was like, you're not going to live with me, but I want the best for these dogs. And if he was ever in a position where the dogs needed something and he couldn't afford it, I was like, always call me because I might not have seen you all the dogs for years, but I will, I will look after them. And it was to the point that we did that if it ever needed anything, he would give me a buzz for
the big things, not for little things. And it was only two years ago we had been split for seven years and he called me in Scotland in the middle of the night.
I was living in Scotland.
He called me and I hadn't spoken to him in years, and I just knew it would be about the dogs seven years and he said, britt we need to make a decision.
Mia is sick, my border colleague me is sick. We need to make a decision together on what to do do We put it down and I just I was so.
Grateful in that moment that I know it sounds crazy and a lot of people, unless you're a crazy dog lady, you won't understand. I was so grateful that he called me and gave me the opportunity to make the decision. Turns out the decision was taken from us. We had to put it down within like fifteen minutes of him calling me. But the fact that he still knew how important that was to me to call and say, I want you to know that this is what's happening. I'll be forever grateful.
So I know that that's an exception to the rule, and the way that we handled it was different, but there are so many different ways to do it, but direct, direct co parenting for me is I'm gonna say no, and ultimately you make the best decision for the dog. Amen, I love, we agree. Wait, I just got amotion. I know Britt was about to cry. I was about to cry my dogs. Seeing her eyes well up like this is very close to home conversation. She was my best friend.
So anyway, that's it. Anyway conversation over all. Right, Well that was a really uplifting way to end the episode. Guys, You're welcome. I'm not saying you guys need any more doom and gloom in your life. With everything that's happening, Britta needs a cuddle, not even a virtual cuddle, what real cuddle.
Watch this space because I will be getting a dog so soon. The time has come in my life where I can't not have a dog anymore. I need someone to pull my love onto and I need love from an animal. So I have made the decision to get a dog. How that's gonna happen, I don't know when that's gonna happen.
But you watch this space now. If it is using the podcast as her therapy session, this is great. You can pay me after this or this is finished. Can you please slip me a fifty someone. Yeah, but not for that. Okay, guys, thank you so much to every single person who has written in a question for Ask Uncut. If you have a question for next week, we promise to do our absolute best answer. Then we may be unqualified, but our advice comes with such heartfelt enthusiasm that I
think it makes up for it. So you can slide into our dms at Life Uncut podcast on Instagram, or you can send us a direct message on Facebook, which is also Life Uncut Podcast, and if you haven't already, sign up to the discussion group. Guys, I hope this makes you realize too.
There's no type of question or genre of question that is off limits here. So it might be family, life, travel, relationship, sex question. Laura just wants the sex, but I want the dog questions.
Yeah, I know, Britt does the picking of the questions. You know, when I'm here for the dog questions, doggy style questions, you come at me. I'm going to end it there because I can't deal with Laura anymore. You know the drill if he loved it here that starts, tell your friends subscribe and share the love because we love la you two. So what was that we love love