Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island peoples today.
This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life on cart I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha or producer Keisha. We have produce Akeuisha stepping in today because well, if you listen to Tuesday's episode, you'll know that it was Laura's birthday.
So we let her have a sneaky day off. We said, you know what, you can go away. She's gone to Byron Bay. We let her have one day. That was my birthday present at her. So producer Keisha steping in, so produce Kechha.
Welcome to a Life onun Cut. Thank you.
Do you think it's quite funny that our gift to her is a break from us you can have Well, no.
I think it's a great gift. She spends more time with us, so she spends with our fiance.
Well, actually have a funny story about the whole producer Keisha thing for you. So I'm originally from Newcastle and I've got three girlfriends coming to visit Sydney on Friday night. Anyway, last week I was at, of course, if you've got friends coming to Bondi, where do.
You take them?
Toddies?
Exactly right yesterday.
So for anyone not from Sydney, Totti's is like it's kind of them. It's the go to place if you have people come and visit. It's like good, nice Italian food, but it's a bit of a scene.
It's a nice aesthetic and it's a it's a great restaurant that has great bread.
Yes.
So basically I was like, oh, look, all book is in somewhere for dinner, and I just so happened to be going on a little date at Toddy's. So when I got there, I was like, oh, I'm just going to try and book in dinner for next week as well. Like why I'm here anyway, the girl who served us, I said, oh, you know, while I'm here, is it okay if I try and make this reservation?
Blah blah blah.
She said, oh, what was the name for?
And I said, it's Fakeisha for four people. She turned to me, she said to me, Keisha, is that like producing?
You're like the one and only.
At this moment where I.
Was like you're like, have I been recognized?
It was more so like will this help me get a reservation?
I hate the regularly.
I kind of laughed and I was like, yeah, Brittain Laura's producer, Yeah, ye, yeah, I said.
What was your name?
Anyway, shout out to you, Sarah, Thank you babe.
I'll be seeing you tomorrow.
I hope she gave you.
A very good at table, but no, thank you for stepping on in today. And look, there's so much we could talk about. If you guys, unless you have stayed completely off the internet and haven't spoken to one person, you would have heard about what went down with Will Smith and Chris Rock, who in my head I keep saying Rock, which it's not the Rock, it's Chris Rob. But the shit that went down at the Oscars, which is going to be memorable for the rest of our life.
It is so controversial, it is all anyone's talking about. There are offence sitters, there's pro Will, there's pro Chris.
That's like it is one big hot mess.
I also think it's one of those situations where I think more than one thing can be true at once, And in my opinion, I just feel like this conversation has probably happened on every form of media since the second that it had occurred. So we're not going to kind of rehash it or go through it all. No, so we're not getting quite tired of it. Yeah.
I think at the end of the.
Day, no one was in the right here. Everyone was wrong in every capacity. The joke, the personal joke, probably shouldn't have been made, and I think there was a build up there. Should Will Smith have gotten on stage and assaulted him, absolutely not.
Look, I think you're exactly right, brit I think that there is fault in both sides of the coin here. But I also think that we can kind of look at these situations a little bit more like from a distance maybe. And there was one thing that a friend of mine wrote on Instagram. His name is Matt Purcell, and he wrote, words create worlds. Words can get you hired, they can get you fired, they can be used to bully,
they can instigate violence. There are so many ways Will Smith could have spoken up about the comments Chris Rock made. He could have stood up and questioned. He could have walked on stage and interrupted with a speech of his own, even though it was said as a joke. That isn't always a trump card to say whatever you want and get away with it. Will lost control and because of that he has lost the respect of millions of people. Chris has also lost respect, and some people would say
that it was called for. If you lose control, you lose respect. The untrained tongue is the most dangerous weapon we all have.
Deep well, I like it. I think that it is true.
I think that it is a reminder to all of us that we need to take responsibility and accountability for what we say, and the repercussions of what may come from that.
Words are powerful. Don't forget it.
But this has been spoken about to death, and I think any of you want to hear about it. What I think you do want to hear about is the one hundred and forty thousand.
Dollars gift bags that everybody at.
The Oscar's got. Because no one's talking about the gift bags.
So look, I had this wild rumor that these bags were worth more than most people's salary, probably double people's salary. I could not believe that this is happening. So we thought this was more worthy of the story than what went down.
Keisha tell us through trust Us to find like the most talked about story in the world, and some side tangent where we're like, oh, but this is kind of funny.
Let's talk about this ship.
Well, I want to know.
I want to get an invite just to get the gift bag so I can sell it off and make a salary. Well, it turns out that not everyone gets the one hundred and forty thousand dollars gift bag.
It does, so you select you like front row only, like exclusively.
If you didn't e the oscars were exclusive enough, it's just gone up another level.
How do you get What do you have to do to qualify for one hundred and forty thousand dollar gift bag? Is it like you have to won an oscar before or you have to be up and coming.
Or is it a lucky dip?
Okay, So it goes to nominees in the Best Actor and Actress, Best Supporting Actor and Actress, and the Best Director categories.
Pretty exposive. Yeah, that's just the higher end.
So Apparently, like every year, it's kind of like the year before tries to outdo themselves.
Right, So for one hundred and forty thousand dollars, let me guess they probably just have one vibrator from.
Grewth poultron and a vagina candle and maybe a canon.
That's one hundred and forty thousand.
Okay, so this year the bag contained gold flecked posh pretzels, which I don't even know what that pretzel a food pretzel?
Gold flecked though, So.
One pretzel that has gold on it? Can you eat gold?
Apparently gold was a heavy metal. Well that all Hollywood has just been poisoned. Okay, what else is in the bad? Okay, so there's quite a few things, so tryingly see as quickly. A box of products of skin Care limited edition vodka bottles, extra virgin olive oil infused with edible.
Gold flakes, Manuca.
Honey, and a skin treatment worth ten grand is a.
Okay, bees were really special. Okay they were from the Queen Bees.
A three day wellness to retreat and an armed sculpting procedure, four night stay.
For two at a luxury resort.
But here is the one thing that has me absolutely scratching my head. The people who received this gift bag got a plot of land in Scotland. Of course they do, okay, so it says, and I'm quoting this, the present comes from high Land titles and allows the recipients to contribute to the establishment of nature reserves, while also awarding them the title of laird, lord or lady of Glencoe.
Oh I've spent a lot of time in Glencoe. Actually yeah, I used to live there. Like it's a lovely place.
That is okay.
So essentially what they've done is the like, look, we're gonna give you some land so that really, if you want, you can call yourself a lord. But also you have to contribute to that to maintain the environment. I mean Frank's ad of compliments. I would like to be a lady.
I've been watching a lot of Bridgeton season.
I mean, I feel like you don't need a title to act like a lady.
Sure you could probably have that, but I would like to have the title.
I remember Scott Dissick, he bought a piece of land over there just so that he could be called the lord.
These people, honestly, and I say, these people it's crazy that.
Firstly, no one in.
Hollywood would pay for two nights accommodation.
Anyway, I love it.
They've been given two nights accommodation. They're never gonna have paid for it. Anyone's gonna say come and stay. They're not gonna do anything with a piece of land. Like, what an excessive waste of money. These people should be donating all of those goodie bags to charity. However, what do you get people that have everything?
Nothing?
Like that's a good point. If you do a good bag, why one of the richest people in the world need more?
Do you reckon?
We should do You know the Lolli bags you get when you were a kid, when you go to like a party and you'd leave with your Lolli bag. That was the best part of a kid's party, was like you'd get your Lolli bag and you'd be straight out the door and you'd walk out and you'd be like, fuck, yes, I've got this awesome lolliburg. You'd rip it open in the car and your parents would probably hate the people who had made the lollly bag. Maybe they should do
that for Hollywood. But there was one very famous person who was quite rightly pissed.
Off about it. His name is Ricky Gervais.
Oh yeah, you may know him. You might know him.
Great comedian has hosted the Oscars a bunch of times. He actually responded to some fans to saying that they wish that he was hosting, and he said this, Hello, I hope this show helps cheer up the ordinary people watching at home. If you're unemployed, for example, take some comfort in the fact that, even if you had a job, your salary probably wouldn't be as much as the goodie bag all the actors have just been given. I'm proud to announce that this is the most diverse and progressive
Oscars ever. Looking out, I see people from all walks of life, every demographic under the sun, except for poor people obviously fuck them. Ho.
No, I mean he's sane and how it is though, isn't it.
Totally Do you know that when I lived in London he used to jog past our apartment every day.
It would be the most exciting part.
Whenever he would he would kind of shuffle because you can imagine how riggy Gervais, because he's kind of like a little nugget.
He's a shuffler.
For sure.
He was a shuffler, and he would have a hat on and Sonny's. He was like trying to be as much in disguise as possible. He would run to Hampstead Heath and every time he would be out the front. If one person in the apartment there were four of us saw him, everyone would just like shout and be like.
Recky's out there for us and you are the problem.
I would run to the window.
I'd be like, hey, you Recky and he kind of do the little two things up, like keeping his head down, still shuffling on.
And you other people that are making his life health.
I thought he's great. I mean, we encouraged him along his runs.
And good for him still jogging it.
Well, he would have been like fifty six or something like that at the time.
I don't think he's that old, is he.
He's sixty now. It was a while ago.
Well, you're also coming hot. You've told you've got a recommendation for us today. You're coming with a lot of segments today.
How can I like it?
You're like, yes, I've come completely prepared for his episode.
It's almost like.
I sit in the corner most episodes quietly.
You've been watching a lot of Netflix. I have been.
I've actually been doing a lot of dates home net Fleix dates.
Sorry what was that? Yes?
Is it maybe too early to be bringing that to the podcast? Possibly? Yes, I have been binging as a lot.
I think half the world has season two of Bridgeton.
Hang on is Bridgitton? You're a recommendation.
It's fine.
I lean into being a basic bitch, and if you are also into Bridgeston, I've really liked season two. I do have a little bit more of an obscure recommendation, though, Before you mock me for being too much of a basic bitch.
I found this girl on Instagram the other day.
I don't even know it just like came up in the algorithm, and I think she's really really bloody cool and super talented. I could be mispronouncing this, so I apologize if I am. It's Millicent Sara same so it's like Millicine Sa double are Anyway, she is, from what I can gather, kind of a mix between a cabaret artist and a stand up comedian. I thought she was bloody great and I really really liked her, So that was That's my more obscure. Well, she's doing the Adelaide
Fringe Festival. And by the way, I do not know her from a bar of soap. I just saw her Instagram video and I was like, wow, you're like really cool and I like.
Supporting up and coming young females.
You better give everybody her instagram handlekashit because you can't just come with a recommendation and not actually recommend a person.
Okay, her instagram is Millie so am I double L I C E and T like sent you know, sense dollars and cents s a double are.
I've got a pretty random recommendation, actually super super left field. But I have been watching on Binge Tiger As in Tiger Wood's documentary. Now, you don't need to be into golf to get into this episode. I mean, get it's only two It's it's three hours total. There's only two they're an hour and a half each. Somebody else had recommended it to me and I just got hooked. It's just there's a whole other world.
To it, and he's about his golfing career or more about everything personal life and from when he was two years old, and I think it's just amazing to see.
He was a freak man. He was a freak of nature at what he did at golf.
He nearly had like a fatal car accident last year and they were wondering whether he would ever walk again.
And does it go into that or is that a crazy story?
Yeah, it comes everything so left field totally, but.
I mean it's no Bridget in season two.
Tiger Woods is pretty hot in his day.
He was apparently a lot of women thoughts so at there's many hundreds of of women.
Yes, but that's my recommendation.
And I am waiting very very patiently for Dynasty. Dynasty, And yeah, I've been waiting very patiently for Dynasty season three. I think it is to come out.
I think there's on two seasons.
No, they've done five seasons. Actually, I think there's four seasons. I'm waiting for the fifth season. Whatever season we're up to.
I've been waiting.
So I check it like every second day, I'm like, is it I and then I'll binge watch it in one day one hundred.
I think the streaming services tell me this is a personal opinion, but I feel as though they go through periods where like Netflix is just absolutely firing and then it finishes and you're like, there's nothing new on here, and then you move over to Stand and then like stands firing, and then it's Amazon or like whatever.
It is, and you feel like twenty five services.
Yeah, And I feel as though right now is like the Netflix era of the year where I'm just like obsessed with stuff on Netflix.
So I also can't wait for Dynasty.
But should we get into some questions.
Yes, we should question and number one, I'm actually really interested to get your opinion on this keiche because I think it's controversial and I think there'll be a lot of fence sitters on this one side or the other.
I know how I feel it.
We'll get your opinion, ladies, Please please help. I'm so embarrassed and I really have nowhere to turn. On Saturday night, I was out with my fiance and friends and I kissed a girl. I had a lapse in judgment and I made a mistake. Now, I have kissed girls before, but my fiance has always been involved. We have had conversations about having threesomes in the past. This wasn't a threesome situation, though. It was just me being caught up in the moment, and yeah, I kissed a girl. My
fiance is now not talking to me. He's sleeping in a separate bedroom.
The only thing.
He has said to me in the past week is that he doesn't trust me.
He thinks I'm a liar.
And he doesn't want to get married anymore.
This is huge.
I feel like my world is spinning out of control. I feel so physically sick, so embarrassed. I don't want to talk to my friends or family, which is why I'm running to you. I know this is a long, deep message, but any advice would be great. I am crying either. Oh, I am so broken for this girl.
See, I'm just gonna say first things first, I'm so sorry that the one that you came to this episode is.
Me, not Laura.
I feel like Laura would have a lot better advice on this situation. I mean, at the end of the day, irrespective of what gender you cheated. So I think that there's kind of two parts of this conversation because I think a lot of people would be you remember when we were in high school. I don't know if this happened when you were in high school too, but it was definitely like a thing that a lot of girls would kind of be like, oh, like, let's make out.
Like it would be super hot for the guys, And it's definitely a thing in high.
And all the boys were like kids totally, So I think that never did.
Kind of carry through to our adult lives where a lot of people in relationships, in heterosexual relationships, a lot of guys wouldn't necessarily consider that to be cheating when the reality is is that it is, you know, especially if they haven't kind of been a part of the conversation, or at least by the sounds of it, this guy sounds as though it is cheating to him.
What can you do about it? From here? Do I think this is an irreparable fuck up? Possibly not.
I mean, I think there's a massive difference between being out, but it sounds like you might have been out on a night with your friends and there's blackly alcohol involved and you've kissed someone. I think there is a huge difference between kind of like an accidental ooh shit, this happened kiss and like going home and sleeping with someone,
do you know what I mean? Because it can kind of just happen in the moment, It doesn't necessarily have to have much prayer thinking, and it sounds as though you are remorseful of what you've done.
My heart really is breaking for you right now because even though you obviously know, and we all know listening, that you've done something that your partner deems is wrong, even though you've been in the wrong in this situation, I feel your pain when you say you're in your room and you're beside yourself crying. I'm sure when you kiss this girl, it never ran through your mind that this would be the end of your relationship, or you
wouldn't have done it. I have no doubt you're obviously getting married because you're in love with the person you're in love with, your fiance. You would not have thought that a kiss would lead to this, or you wouldn't have done it. So I feel your pain and I know what you must be feeling right now when you said you feel so sick, and I mean heartbreak. Whether you're in the wrong or not, is horrific that the
physical illness that you feel from it. So anyway, I want to start by saying that, secondly, this sort of a thing, whether it's deemed as cheating or not cheating, infidelity or not This is very subjective to the individual and to a relationship. This is different for everybody. There are I know plenty of people that wouldn't consider it cheating. I know plenty of people that would be like, I don't care who you're with to me, man, woman, non binary.
For some people, it doesn't matter. You're locking lips with someone else, you're having an emotional connection with someone else, you're sleeping with someone else, it's cheating.
Your fiance evidently.
Thinks that you going out on your own and being with someone's cheating, even though he thinks it would be okay if you ordered it together, because that's a conversation you're having as a couple in a safe space that wants to explore something together. And I guess you have to put yourself in his situation. What if he went out and just looked up with someone else and came back and said I was drunk and I'm sorry and
it didn't mean anything. I'm probable I'm gonna guess, go out in a limit, say you think it was cheating. So yes, I don't want to make you feel any worse, but it's evident that you have done something wrong in this situation.
What is there that you can do.
Firstly, I think it's really important that you obviously give him some space because he wants space.
He said, I want to be another room. He doesn't want to talk to you.
So it's important to actually be reciprocal of what our partners are telling us that they need at that time. And you probably want to throw yourself on him. You want to probably pin him down, beg scream, cry for forgiveness, make things better first and foremost, give him a little bit of space.
Now does that mean you can't tell him how you feel. No, you definitely can. You can.
You can apologize, and you can tell your story, and you can try to explain your situation. You can try and make it better. But then if he says I need space, you have to give him that. I think you should always try and have this conversation in person. It's I think something that you owe each other to having person. Now, whether you just say, can I just have two minutes of your time, and whether you just say I want you to know that this is the most regretful thing I have ever done. You are my
whole life. I didn't realize it was going to go down this track. I really want to make this work. Is there anything I can do? Say everything that you want to say, and then say I recognize that you want some space to think about this, but please let's not make decisions like calling off a wedding whilst emotions are high. I have so much I want to say to you, and I want to make this better. But I realize that you're going to have to tell me
when you're ready. So I would make him feel like he's very loved and like you're very very apologetic and you want to make it work. Tell him everything you want to say, but then don't sit there and pressure him. Don't sit there crying and locking him in the room so we can't get out until he talks to you. He'll know how you feel, and then you need to step away for a minute so he can think about it and come back to you.
I mean, I don't know you.
Guys, but there's a part of me that's like, fuck, I would be very shocked if he didn't want to come back and talk about this. If he walked out the door and never spoke to you again and canceled a wedding over this without having a conversation for me, I don't feel like it's very adult. I think he is going to come back and speak to you. He's not just gonna walk out and you're never gonna see him again. It just who knows how much this has hurt him. It might not be the answer you want,
but I don't think it is irreparable. And we've spoken to a lot of relationship therapists and counselors that have said, you know, we are taught from a young age and infidelity is the worst thing in the world, and you can't come.
Back from it.
But they say from experience, and a lot of couples get through it, not only get through it, but they can come back stronger than ever. So that's not for everyone. But you've literally like, at the end of the day, in his eyes, you fucked up. You've cheated on him, even if you didn't think you did.
That's how he feels. That's what's important.
Now you need to say what you want to say, give him the space, and hopefully you guys can work it out. I really do hope you can, because you do sound like you didn't realize you were making such a grave error.
I also think, and.
This is not to excuse it, but I also think that if you were to anonymously survey the population of Australia or the world, like the adult population in relationships, and ask how many of them have slipped up and accidentally kissed someone when they shouldn't have, I think it would be a lot higher than what you think it would. I think that would be a lot more of a
common occurrence than what. It sounds as though you are really really putting yourself through the ring in terms of guilt and blame, which I mean maybe you should feel, you know, it sounds like you feel guilty, definitely.
I mean for me personally, just to give you like a difference in perspective in relationships. When I was with Jordan, we just had a conversation one day, I think we were talking about actually I think I asked him about an ask gun cars someone that had cheated him, and we're talking about each other's opinions. And for me, I said, I don't think cheating has to be the end of
the world. Obviously it's very situational, depending on why, when, how, all the levels, But overarchingly I always said, look, it's not necessarily the bill and end or I think that a lot of people can work through it by talking about how and why and you know, getting the help. But he was like, I don't care what you.
Do or who it's with or for what reason.
He's like, you cheat on me with anyone at any level, like even a kiss, And.
He's like, I'm out the door. Wow.
Yeah, And we sort of laughed about it because I was like, you would A bar is too low, because it was yeah, maybe we're just like.
A maybe thinking for like quite a while, maybe that's not the worst thing I was thinking.
I was like, am I so ruined from how many people have perfectly cheated me in the past and now I'm making excuses for it? But I don't think I am, because I know that it's what I'm saying is it's dependent. But this is the thing, and this sounds like it's what's your your partner sounds like where Jordan was at. And he's like, I don't think there's anything to talk about because for me.
Trust is broken. Trust is broken, and you have to respect that.
Whilst I don't get it, I was like, I can't believe you'd I was like, look, I'm not saying a cheat on you.
But hypothetically if I did. I can't believe you'd walk away from.
Me, And hypothetically, if the guy from Outlander walked into a bar, I was like, Sue, no, but it's it's so true.
It's like it is what it is.
It's dependent on the person, which is why it's really hard to answer. But the question here is how do you navigate it, which we've just mentioned.
Also talk about this with your friends. You said you're too embarrassed.
We have all fucked up, and I think you need to know, like, you need to have those people around you to support you right now because you're going through a lot and it's a really hard time for you. And I think that even though you do feel guilt and embarrassment about it, keeping that to yourself is only going to make it worse. Like, you know, what do they say a problem talked about is a problem halved or some shit like that.
I don't know, there's.
Something deep like that, something can Yeah, just don't know. Playing any Katie Perry songs anytime soon. I understand what you're saying. Though, I understand you saying you feel the embarrassment. You don't want anyone to know. I've been in that exact situation, not because I've done anything wrong. I remember when my ex I found out he had a double life. I was embarrassed by that.
I don't want to.
Tell anyone, so I remember that. It's a feeling of judgment as a whole.
I get that.
Like Keisha said, probably don't go tell everyone. You probably don't need to post it on Twitter, but you need someone.
It starts posting deep quotes, It's like, yeah, you.
Probably don't need to post on Twitter, but you need at least somebody to help you and support you, because you can't go through that shit alone. Like this is a really really big deal and you'll probably be surprised. I'm sure you've got a best friend, someone that you can confide in. I'm glad that you can, but like the professional or best friend, somebody to help you.
But oh good luck.
People do make mistakes at the end of the day, and it might be a really really hard lesson for you to learn.
But do you know what Mark Groves would say, though sorr it interrupt you. Do you know what he would say?
What an opportunity for growth?
This could be an opportunity you don't want to hear right now?
No, I mean like it could be an opportunity for the two of you to really realize where your boundaries are and hopefully come out the other side stronger and better than what you previously were because you've identified exactly where the line is.
Good luck, all right, Keisha?
Bring question number two, and I hope it's a bit that one that was heavy to start with, but heavy, you know, just.
Let me get a bit more comfortable.
I didn't realize i'd be sweating filling in for Laura. Usually Laura's the one sweating, really dashed hormone filling the role. Okayquation number two, can you turn down being a bridesmaid? I've got a friend who is engaged, and she has dropped small hints that indicate that she will be asking me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, but I really don't want to. We are close friends, but we're certainly not best friends for about two years and are at the level where we would catch up semi regularly
regularly regularly say that three times quickly? Can I turn it down without ruining the friendship?
I mean, you can do it the hell you want. I probably we're on the friendship. This is tough.
I mean, yeah, of course you can say no to no one has to do anything.
Have you been a bridesmaid?
Yeah?
Are you like always a bridesmaid? Like twenty seven dress, it's.
A bride, never the bride. I'm the one for the one. We all know that. Yeah.
Do you know what was actually funny? One time I was a bridesmaid was when I was in the Bachelor. I didn't even have a choice to turn down. I was in the mansion and one of my friends who has been a good friend for a long time, but I wasn't in her bridal party, which you know, so fine. I was always going to go to the wedding I came out of the Bachelor because in that time it was her wedding was the week I got out of the Bachelor, right in another state.
So you've been filming for what three months? Three bit over three months?
And I got out and my sister's like Sheridan had organized it all with her.
She's like, okay, so you're I've made it the way.
I've got the dress sworded for you, I've got the shoes, this is your details, this is what you've got to do, this is your part. Don't have your phone in there, you can you don't have any contacts so they'll.
Know you came out. You were like, surprise brides Yeah, this girl called sharing.
She was like, this is my bride. One of my bridesmaids had to pull out from an international around the country. Would Britt want to Sharon's like, yeah, I'll.
Send everything up, so she like, I just walked down.
And was like surprise bridesmaid, which was great, but like, yeah, of course, no one has to do anything in life, but this is a really tricky one because it's going to have repercussions. Every decision in life has a repercussion science.
I think it's an Einstein quay. He was more serious than that.
Can I confess something. I have been a bridesmaid very much enjoyed that experience. For the times that I have done it, I never want to do it again. And my close friends know.
That it causes me so much fucking stress.
Why is that to me?
I'm not a details person. I'm not an organized person. If you ask me what I'm doing in three weekends time, I would look at you blankly and be like, oh fucking no. Like I don't like the pressure of little things like.
That if you ask me what I'm doing tonight, I don't know.
This is whatever.
You and I are similar in this way, so I actually think that you'll kind of understand what I'm talking about. Swit's takings five hours to dus episode.
Like you get a coffee? Do you want a coffee?
You want has hang D So I mean, aside from the fact that firstly it's super expensive, particularly if you have to factor in like when I was a bridesmaid once, I was a maid of mon arm and absolutely adore her, couldn't think more highly of her and would happily do it again for her. But I had to travel into state, so it was super expensive for me because it was like multiple sets of flights. If youve got to pay for accommodation, like you talk, shoes, hair, makeup, all that
kind of stuff, it adds up a lot. So it's a big financial commitment. It's also a mental commitment, and you're supposed to help them do stuff, so.
That's why you'd have to do stuff. That's why I don't want to do it.
I'm like, can I just MC your wedding instead? So that's actually going to be my suggestion to this person.
She's probably already got an MC she's as brides maid.
But maybe you could drop a little hint. Maybe you could like steer this away. It could be a little bit obvious. I don't know, but maybe you could steer it away and kind of be like, oh, you know, the last few times I was a bridesmaid, it was just it was a really stressful experience for me. I just didn't really enjoy it, you know what, Like you were not starting off soon.
Do you need someone to like help the flower girl or.
I don't know, maybe you could offer to do something else.
I am good.
I'm gonna give you my honest advice here. There is if I'm putting myself in this situation. I don't really feel like there is. You can't just say no, I don't want to be a bridesmaid because it's stressful or I'm not an organized person. If my friend said that to me, I'd be like, get fucked. I was like, it's one day in my eyes, you just help me out and you be there because not even help me out, but like if somebody asks you, I mean most of
the time, obviously there'll be exceptions to the rule. If someone asks you to be a bridesmaid. It's because they want you there on their special day. They want you at the end, they want the memories with you, and it means that you are.
Really important to them.
Obviously there's a level of like, yes, you're gonna have some responsibilities, most of that should fall on the maid of honor.
What it does.
Mean that usually you can't get out of is it's the cost there is, like Kisha has said, this financial cost. You do have to usually buy your dress or some of it, and your accommodation, you travel, everything adds up.
The only reason.
I mean, if my friend said, look, I really don't want to be a bridesmaid, I'd be like, well, I'm never gonna make you. But also there's definitely gonna be a level of resentment there if my friend came to me and said I would love to be a bridesmaid, but in complete transparency, like I am strapped for cash, I don't know how I'm gonna find this money. Of course, quite often there's a whole lot more that comes with that.
There's the hen's party that's always a big event. You always pay for that, so the bride doesn't pay for anything like there is a lot of build up for somebody's wedding, then there's a present, then there's it's a really big deal. So if my friend came to me and said, I just can't afford it, if I was in a position too, I would pay for everything if I really wanted them there.
If I'm not in a position too, I would one hundred percent.
Be okay with that.
I was like, I totally get that.
If my friend came to me and said, I'm not organized.
Can't be fucked, I'll be like, fuck you.
I It's such a hard one because like, no one has to do anything I don't want to do. Just know that if you do pull out or you do decline, it has to be like a pretty good reason, or there are gonna be repercussions and some ripple effects in your friendship and it's just something.
You've got to weigh up.
What's important to you is that do you feel like you're not even that close to the bride and you're like, oh, why she been asking me if it?
Because I mean like it sounds like that. Yeah, So I think, just way up.
The effects of what's going to happen if you say no, because that's not gonna go down. Well, you like, I would love you being around bride to me, And she's like, no.
Thanksious for you.
I'm getting my anxiety rash all at my net because I'm just putting myself in this situation, being like I would be so overwhelmingly uncomfortable doing this.
That's why I would plant the seed now before it's too late.
Thinks it's terrible advice. I think it's one.
No, if you haven't already been asked yet, like, sure you could plant the seed.
You could be like, hey, I'd love to m see you adding if you want.
If there's been no conversation, But if it's if there's like an unspoken expectation that you're the bride, you can't start planning.
How about both? You're like, fuck, I just got another job. I loved it.
If anyone's declined a bridesmaid offer, I would love to hear that.
And if you did, why and what would the effect of that?
Yeah?
How did you do it?
Maybe we could post your response as advice for this person?
Yeah all right, well good luck. Let's go on to question number three.
Question number three is absolutely cooked, Like it's so cooked, and I have a feeling that our opinion is going to be unanimous. I think our absolutely unanimous. I think my majority of you is going to be unanimous.
I'll get already to like slammed down one hundred percent. Okay, girls, not sure if I'm overreacting or not? Yep, I can tell you already. Are I need some advice?
My boyfriend of seven years said to me yesterday that he believes it's acceptable to sleep with someone else on your bucks slash Hen's night.
What wait? So he asked me.
If I would be upset even if it quote just a stripper, and when I said I don't agree with that, he was very offended with the fact that I wouldn't even consider it. We ended up having an argument about the fact that I wouldn't even hear him out.
No, we aren't.
Engaged yet, but I was so shocked that he thinks it's fine to sleep with someone else on his bucks night. Am I overreacting? Or is it acceptable to cheat? He thinks it's fine because he would be quote getting it.
Out of his system one last time before.
Committing to me for the rest of his life.
Is this bloke having a laugh?
Help? I'm called of guard.
Because he's really making me feel like I'm the crazy one.
Surely he's taking the piece.
Nowhere he is not and straight up, there is a term for this. It is called gas lining. There's another term and is called cheating. This is in my eyes and what I would think the majority of people would feel the same.
This is unacceptable. If my partner said to me.
I just want to quickly sneak a little before I marry you for the rest of my life because I'll be tied to you like it's something.
Bad, I would say, get the hell out.
There is no way I'm letting my partner just sneak one in one last time. The terminology of just getting it out of my system makes my skin crawl and like also another layer to this the fact that he's like, even if it was just a stripper for starters, bro, no stripper wants to sleep with you. They're they're doing their job. That's their job, they do well at it. They don't want to hook up with you. They don't even want to have a conversation with you. Mate.
But also like strippers, that the assumption that a stripper would sleep with ish they're entertainers, and that is absolutely it. It doesn't come hand in hand. So the audacity of this man that just thinks he can go and do what he wants with whomever he wants, when he wants, blows my mind.
So I just like I am.
I wish you could see me right now. I'm not often lost for words, but I just think this is insane. I hate the fact that he's making you feel like you're crazy and making you feel guilty for the fact that you won't.
Even consider it. You won't even think about it.
That is to me a pretty high level of disrespect in a relationship. So I think maybe there has to be a bit of a deeper conversation with the two of you about why he thinks this is acceptable, and maybe you even need to say to him, hey, I don't think this is acceptable as you think, like, maybe you should speak to your friends about this. I would be very shook if all of his friends said, yes, that's what you do. He is in the wrong crowd. He's hanging out with the wrong crowd of people.
Absolutely like, it's just it's laced in a shitload of misogyny.
It's pretty gross.
But your first question was, do you think I'm overreacting Babe, I think you're underreacting totally, and like ninety nine point ninety percent of people, this would light a fire underneath. I wouldn't even want to imagine what would happen if I had this conversation with my partner.
But we just touched on this in the first question when we spoke about is it cheating if you cheat with the same sex in a relationship. So you know this going out and kissed another girl her partner, that is cheating.
For me, cheating is cheating.
So it doesn't matter if they have a specific occupation, that's still classified as cheating. So it's not like, oh, but I just had sex with a waitress. Oh but they were just an accountant that you know.
Like, it's just an occupation.
Lord, what does that have to do taking away from the fact that you had sexual relations Like okay.
Bill Clinton, we used to do.
It's just it be like I did not have sexual relations with that.
Woman, you have sexual relations with another human. Yeah, I feel really bad for you in this sense, but please know that you're not overacting. And in my personal opinion, there might be some people out there that think it's okay to slip it in one last time for me, it's absolutely not okay and I would never ever sit well with me. So please don't feel like you're overreacting. If you want to sit down and have a chat to him about why, maybe explain why, maybe even just
played this episode to him. I'm more than happy for him place to hear. You can tell him that he can slide into my DMS and that's the only place is sliding piece.
Of my mind.
I mean, I know we are assuming that you're in a monogamous, like exclusive relationship.
Well the assumption is because she said she's not okay with us, So yes, I think that assumption is warranted.
I actually think that the only way you can have this conversation is in quite a condescending way. No where you're just like, okay, let me lay some things out for you. The only other thing, like, there's only one option left, and that is an Instagram pole. You don't tag him, tag him directly and be like this is what our friends and family think of your comment.
Yes, wedd in doubt, we instagram poll out. That is our motto. Here at life, my god, the guys, that is it from us today.
We hope you had a fun little episode with us. There are some pretty big problems that I really hope you all work out.
The questions today were.
All pretty problematic, like they're not really cut and dry today, and I don't know what's gonna happen with all these people.
And lucky for all of you, all your gal Laura will be back for us on Cut next week. Actually in the meantime you'll hear her on the radio and then you'll also hear her or next Tuesday's episode, which is going to be a banger.
We're a half and a half, as I like to say.
We are sony bangs coming up. Please keep your questions coming into life Uncut podcasts on the Instagram actually unfiltered funny stories, fucked up stories, embarrassing stories. We want to hear every single thing that makes your life a little bit worse so our life seems a little bit better.
Can I just.
Jump in as the person who does check a lot of our social media or one of the people who checks a lot of our social media. Something I would really love to do is like an ask gun Cut resolved. And I know you guys have put the call out before and when we try to let know what you're saying, but I'm probably going to post something on our Instagram and just kind of say if.
We have answered your question.
Because before I started working with you guys, yeah, I used to be like they get hundreds of messages, like everyone says that, No, like it literally happens. There are hundreds of messages. So if your question is chosen like it's been really considered, usually by yourself and Laura and I would love to know, like what happened after you know, the aftermath. I don't know what we're gonna call it, to come up with, like a spicy name. We call that well ask on cut, aftermath.
Life after ask on.
Like some traumatic experience you guys had to go through therapy I have after ask on cut?
Yeah, what do you reckon?
I mean, is something that you guys would like to hear as well?
I mean I've been trying for two years. I would tell what's the response either our advice isn't good or it doesn't work out.
We very occasionally have gotten proper follow up questions. But yeah, if you guys, if we have ever answered your question, if you feel like it, we would love to do like a little follow up and a lot of people writing asking for follow ups too. You just have to make sure you write you say what your question was
at the top. So maybe if you do, maybe you can say ask on cut follow up as the heading, write down the question that you initially had, and then write down what happened the resolve, how it worked out, even if it was good or bad, funny anything, but like, yeah, if you feel like doing that.
We would froth that.
Can we should do it late next week. We should do a whole episode of like the Aftermath.
Well, I mean it's easy saying, let's do it. People got to running first. Need to tell me like I'm doing, say lifting.
You need to calm down, you guys, if you have it writing if in the following weeks, if we get enough responses, for sure, we'll throw out a little bonus episode. But until then, keep everything else coming in and join the life on that discussion group on Facebook.
Can I try it?
Tell your mom, tell you dad, tell your friend, tell your dog, and share the love.
Did I get it?
Na? Dam I tell your mom, toe your dad, tell you dog, tell your friends to share the love. Because we love love. No one can do it except me