Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander peoples today.
This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
I'm Laura. Don't sound so exasperated, Laura bringing over there and this is our Thursday episode where we answer all of your deep, you're dark, you're burning, troublesome questions. Brittany's dogs over there trying to kill a It looks like a travel pillow. This is her. She'll come down in a minute. She's got one favorite toy and it's a sloth and she brings it with her everywhere. It's like a well, what's it like when the kids have that as a blanket. Well, Molly has one called a rabbie.
It's like a comfit thing.
Yeah, a confuter yeah, speaking of like our children just being so comfortable and cute. Do you know what Molly said to me on the drive over here? So coming to record this morning. I take the kids to daycare, drop them off, and then I come here to Brittany's beautiful little house and we record out of her studio room. Also love that you said speaking of our children, like two, I was my child? Yeah what did she do?
So?
I'm in the car and I was singing what's our favorite song at the moment, brit.
Fuck you, mag your mom and your sister. Hang it, I say, dog, but that's not so.
I was singing the very g rated version of that. I was singing forget you and your mum, and you're in the car and I put it up really loud, and I hear Molly. She's in the backseat and she just goes And I was like, Baba, what's wrong? Thinking what sort of huge turmoil is my two year old in the back going through?
She goes, oh, mummy, I hate it when you're talking. You're like, well, lucky, I talk for a living, isn't it? Like?
I was like, actually, I was singing and she's like, I hate that too, what do I? Because she has so much attitude, my two year old two and a half, she's she's gonna be three and three months. She has so much attitude.
I was about to say, maybe she's going to be like a really introverted and quiet, but she's got none of that. She's not introverted quiet at all.
And she's so quick to tell you all the things that she doesn't like about you, Like she's now she'll be like, mummy, what are these? Oh they're wrinkles, Like she knows what she's doing. I don't know, but I think I don't think it's Malicia. I think there's malice in that child.
I think, like, let's be real, I don't think it's two years old. She's been malicious and she's not pointing out your wrinkles to make you feeling secure, Laura. She probably doesn't know what a wrinkle is yet.
And last night, well she does, she says wrinkles, So she does. And last night she sat in the shower on her potty with a bucket on her head. This is the child, this is the child that has so much control over my life.
Well, then, are you really going to take what a child that sits naked with a buffet on her head? Are you going to take what she says as gospel? Because I don't think you need to anyway, your frinkles a fine get some botops, haven't you for it? Do you know what? I just want to mention as well.
We did an episode on Tuesday that was on the Overwhelm, and I have received so many fucking, absolutely lovely messages from people this week. Are the moms who listened to the podcast and felt exactly the way that we have felt, who resonated with what we spoke about, who are also in this state of just well, like there's no other better word for it than feeling overwhelmed. As want to say thank you to everyone who listened and who wrote in.
It means so much to us when we know that we talk about something or we touch on a topic that resonates with you guys. And reading those messages, I had one woman right to me and said that she went for a walk and she was in tears listening to it because she fully just feels like her life has been so to the point of capacity recently.
And I was like, yes, girlfriend, us too, Ah, that's really not I love that we do hearing that it's making a difference. In complete transparency. I didn't get any messages. I'll read this one to you because this one. Well, I think it's definitely the overwhelmed. Like we said, it definitely affects everybody, but I think it hits differently with mums because of the fact that it is unrelenting. Do
you know what I got? I did get a few messages from people that said they really felt what I felt when I said I was crying over getting a dating app. When I was like, I don't want to get back back, They're like, girl, we feel you. It is sold a stream. We don't want to do it either. So I got a few of those, but I didn't get any resonating about the mom.
Okay, well, this one mum wrote in she said, I just listened this afternoon, having an emotional afternoon with my kids. After listening, I reached out to my mother in law and she came over and looked after my three year olds so I could go for a walk with the dog in peace. And I cried a bit more while
listening to this. And I just think so many people feel exactly the same, and there's something really something not that you want other people to be having the same small traumas that you are, but there's something.
Really healing in knowing that you're not alone in feeling like this on ndred percent. But we're not gonna get that now. No, get into I want to talk to you about an influencer. Oh, I know what you're going to talk to me about. Yeah, I'm once speaking to the audience. It's happened again, everybody. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to you. I want to speak to you, guys. I want to tell you about an influencer. She's a Brazilian influencer, and I'm talking a very big influencer, fifteen
point seven million followers. Her name, well she goes. Her stage name now is Poker, but her name is a Vivian di Quero's perrera.
So fluently Britta no South American, definitely, butgerted that.
But bless her soul. She's so funny. She's very open with the followers. And she went to hospital the other night with extreme, extreme stomach pain, like she thought her insides were falling out. She was with her new boyfriend at the time, and she's like, she kept him up all night because she was in so much pain. She's like, I'm got it at the hospital or something's really really wrong.
My my apendix is bursting or I'm dying. She gets the hospital and she gets told by the doctor that in fact, she's just been she's just been holding her farts in. That's it, and it's caused extreme pain. And she was really honest. She's like, guys, my boyfriend and I were pretty new, we're not on fighting terms yet, so she's been holding them in. Little did she know that it can be disastrous.
Can I just say, how can you be so frightened to far in front of your boyfriend but so okay to talk to tell that many people like surely that there's a bit of a gap year And I know we've spoken about this before. She is not the first person to end up in hospital from holding in her farts. Laura, you have I didn't purposely hold in my farts. I just ended up in hospital because I had trapped gas.
But it doesn't get trapped from holding it in.
Well, I don't know, because I would never had a corner like I can't find this whay.
I was like, roadblock, I'll just stay here.
I've never had a prokate, I've never not that okay in the early days of a relationship. I'm not gonna far in front of my partner, of course not. But we've spoken about this before. I have no qualms. Once I'm comfortable with partner, I think that it's totally fine, no holes, bars, let that shit loose.
I am the pole opposite. I'm not a farer like I mean, like, obviously I do them, but I don't do it in front of my partner. I never ever will unless it was like an emergency or it's slipped out accidentally. But I'm never going to be in a relationship where I think it's funny to like lift a butt cheek and let one rip. It's not, and I don't. I don't want my partner to do it. Actually, I remember when I was in the early stages with Jordan. I would even leave, like to go to the bathroom.
But after probably three weeks he said to me, like he was with his friends and he's like, Brett, I can't hold these farts in anymore. He's like, I'm getting extreme stomach pain. Because he used to be like I need to fight, and I just wouldn't let him. I was like, you absolutely can't. He's like, and I didn't know that you could go to hospital with it. So I used to make him hold the meat.
Britt used to leave her apartment and go to the public toilets across the beach, public toilets at Bondo beg to do a pooh.
It matters what she did. In my defense, I told law of that in confidence. And it was one time. I No, there was this one time in the very early stages where I think we'd had We'd had drinks the night before we had it, We've been out dinner, we'd had some not good food, and you know when you just not I woke up and I was like, I do not feel well like I this something is a miss here. And I was like, this is not
acceptable to be done in a small apartment. No, the apartment was small, the bathroom was next to the bedroom. There was no escape in it. He sleeps in. So I was like going for a run and just like ran across to the public toil to go to the toil. But this is actually really funny because I don't know, Laura, if you like, it's definitely a common thing. But Abby Chatfield was recently on the hundred with Andy Lee. It's
so relatable because we all do it. But she was just saying that she in the mornings with her partner Conrad. She doesn't want a pooh in front of him. She's not at that stage, so she makes an excuse every morning to go to a cafe and do what she calls an anonymous poop. And I was like, it's just so related, like we've I think everyone has been there the worst. I think it's the hardest thing about dating, and like a new relationship, it is not the hardest
all to me. I'm so easy going in every other aspect. For me, it is when you get together. I don't give a fuck about anything else. I'm like, I am not ready to fight or poop in front of me.
Out of all the trials and tribulations and all the ups and downs of a new relationship, you think that deciding where to go to the toilet is the hardest decision that you have to make.
No, it's not just something where it's just how to avoid going to the toilet in front of your partner. And I mean like for me, when you just say the trials and tribulations of an early relationship, for me, there should be no trials and tribulations. The trial and tribulation is going to the toilet. I know.
Look, I mean, we are so aware that this is an incredibly divisive topic. I would say, I mean, I'd love to know what the real statistics are. I don't think that there's been a formal hol being done. But like, you're either someone who does not care like me, or you're someone who deeply cares and passionately cares about keeping something sacred in the relationship. I don't want us to ever get to a point where we think it's no judgment. Everyone's different. But here is a reason why you should
get a little bit more comfortable. This is a medical this is I'm going deep. This is a report. This is what the doctors have to say. Trying to hold in your parts leads to a build up of pressure and major discomfort. A build up if intest personal gas can trigger abdominal distension, with some gas reabsorbing into the circulatory system and exhaled in your breath.
Holding on too long.
Means the build up of intestinal gas will eventually escape via an uncomfortable fart or hospitalization. There you go, everybody, that is what you will breathe your fart out. Yeah, if you don't let it out, If it doesn't come out below it'll come out of it, and you can't blame it on garlic, like.
You can tell you have had some garlia. Ask night, I'm sorry about that. Nope, you I'm burping out shit. I'm so sorry I had some farts last night. Aarah. Okay, that's half about that. Let's get into some questions.
Okay, I have a question which is a very it's a question we've never been asked before. Firstly, I want to ask a question back to it, but I'll get into it. Okay, what do you wear to a group audition for The Bachelor?
Do you go all out ball gown or low key?
Do you want to stand out but also not look like a complete weirdo? Maybe I'm asking for a friend. Maybe I'm asking because I'm going to an audition.
Who knows? Okay, well we do. If you're going for an audition, Okay, well, straight up, you don't wear a ball don't. Please don't worry, please please please don't do that unless unless you want to be cast as a crazy person, unless you actually wear a ball gown day to day, don't wear a ball gown. What you want to do? My best advice and Laura, I wonder I'm gonna ask in a second if you remember what you wore? My best advice is to wear what you would wear.
You just want to be you. You want to present your own personality, but maybe you want to do it at the best level. So maybe you want to do what you do day to day. But you know, I'm a polish version, but maybe you're not polished. Maybe you are really laid back. Maybe you're a skater girl. Whatever it is, my best advice is to just go as you are and be you because they can see through anything else. They can see it one hundred miles away.
Be your authentic self. Isn't that take home message of this entire podcast?
What did you? I remember what I wore? What did you wear? You would mean jeans in a nice top, like every single girl in the world. Literally, I wore jeans in a nice top to it. What do you tonight? Jean's in a nice top. I just wanted to look you unique and stand up. Okay.
Firstly, I love that we now know that they're at group audition phase for the next season of The Bachelor. I'm very interested to find out what they're actually doing for this coming season because I think after the absolute dumpster fire that were ratings last year. I mean, I don't think the bachelorrett is going ahead, so the Bachelor Stool is. But there's been some whispers that maybe they're
going to do a combined one. Maybe they're gonna they're in a combinement, a guy and a girl as the leads. So I agree with you, Brit. I remember what I wore. I wore a skirt. I didn't actually wear jeans. I wore a skirt and I wore and I can't remember the car. I think it was like a pinky color.
And I wore a.
Navy blue tiger lily singlet that was too low for me and so I had to sticky tape at to my boobs. And it just reminds me of the days when I used to get away with with not wearing a bra and I could sticky tape tops to myself and now my boobs.
Look at the floor. Did you wear heels or flat?
I would have worn sandals because I never wear heels because I do not like them.
It's very tall, yes, so I would have won.
I would want a skirt, like a bohemian skirt, and I would have worn it. Lily top and sandals. I used to be very boho in my style, so it wasn't gen. You didn't wear GEN your skirt, Yeah, I wore a skirt, so I wore. You're fucking gonna laugh so hard, I reckon. I've got the picture somewhere, actually, i'll do. I'll put it up on instage. I took a selfie or a.
Picture in the mirror from my friend's house in Sydney because I didn't live I was a country on Palm Quarry, so I had to come and say my friend's house for the night, and I took a picture. So I have a picture of what I wore. I will try and find it and I will put it on the stories V I wore, which is so me, all white, high waisted white pants that had like a flare, and then I wore a white top that was sort of tucked in so it gave me like a way, so I thought I looked really cool.
And then to top it off, which is the most bready, you wore a fucking hat. Didn't you moore a hat?
You wore a hats pretty thing you have ever seen. I wore a hat like a fedora, No, like a sun like a round sun hat. The group auditions are inside, like the Novertel for example. Just so you know, yeah, it was not for some safety. It was in my It was what I thought was fashion. But you've got to remember this was a country girl pot McCrory that I didn't know what I was doing. But let me tell you something, Laura, not one other person they had had on.
You really stood out.
That was my stand out. But I wore little heels, but not because I wanted to wear heels, but because my pants were too long. But I was like, what is my I didn't know what vibes to go for because ninety percent of my life as we all know, he's like, actually wear scrubs. I didn't ever have nice fancy clothes. But I was like, I can't turn up in active or scrubs. I didn't want to be too dressed up for a ball gown. So I was like, what's the happy medium? At every was definitely a Fedora.
It was the was a happy medium, I reckon. That's what got me on the show.
Okay, everybody wears very different things. If you are going to a Bachelor group audition, everybody rocks up some people are super like super faked hand lots of makeup, perfectly at styled outfit, and other people are really really casual. It's a huge spectrum of what is and isn't okay, But I think you nailed it, brit It is just showing up and being like, very very authentic to the person, Okay, even if it's not to who you are as a person, to the person that you want to play on the TV show.
Yeah, what's your character? If you want to be a villain, you dress like a villain.
If someone works up dressed like Corella Deville, Like.
No, but like that's it's what happens.
You get type cast and they kind of pick you out from that group environment to play the characters that they think you're going to be. So and the thing is, you don't want to be like when you you I think she said, do I want to stand out or not? Obviously you want to stand out in some way because you don't want to go and be a wallflower.
That's not the point. But maybe that's with your personality. Maybe you can also stand out with a story or something about you or who you are or what your job is that you don't have to necessarily wear like
head to toe sequin bodysuit to stand out. Do you think that people, like some women who sign up for The Bachelor, who go to the auditions, actually have it in their head that they're going to play a certain role, like they actually go in there with the intention of being the villain, or do you I think it's more so the case that, like they get in there, they realize, oh, they don't really mesh with the guy, that guy's not really into him, and so they just kind of decide, well,
to get more airtime, I'll just play this character. I think it's changing a lot, and I think they're saying with a lot of reality shows the same with mass I think people have clued on. Like the early days back in like I guess maybe even up until yours, or maybe just the first three seasons and a season, it was so innocent and pure and organic, and people didn't know what would happen after the world of The Bachelor or reality TV on maps. But now people clue on.
They know what gets attention, they know so there are definitely people that go on I think I think the people that would go on The Bachelor with zero intention of wanting to fall in love, but they're like, hey, i'll go have some fun, I'll get some attention, might get some followers, but usually that back Usually that backfires.
Yeah, but that's the thing, right, Like I wonder, like what is the benefit? I know that there's that saying that like all press is good press, but real negative attention and we're seeing it with a Livia or Maps at the moment, Like real negative attention genuinely has nothing good that comes out of it. The only person that I've seen transform their negativity into an incredibly positive platform
is someone like Abby Chatfield. Totally We're weirdly that we've talked about her twice in the episode, but like she's the only person who's come from reality TV background where I've seen them completely transform. And not that she was a villain by any means, but.
Well that's the thing. Abby wasn't a villain.
But when it came to her and Chelsea at the end, people were rooting for Chelsea in that moment, and then she has completely rewritten that narrative that was pitched for her.
And like you said, Laura, there's not a lot I think if anyone's thinking about going into these shows with that intention. I would just advise you not to. I think, do it going with some pure intentions.
Wear a fedora and like get you just wear some jeans and a nice shirt, and.
All right, question number two, now this one.
I think this one's pretty polarizing, and I think that there's gonna be something. It's very polarized, and there's gonna be some people who have some extremely strong opinions around this.
So and I think strong opinions can be good. All right.
My boyfriend is my penguin. He is an awesome guy, and he is great with kids. We recently took my nephew to the park where he got really dirty, and my boyfriend was already going to have a shower when we came back, and so he offered to just shower my nephew, who is three and a half with him. Afterwards, my sister said that her partner, which is my brother in law, was a bit uncomfortable with it.
All.
I was honest with my boyfriend. Read the conversation I had with my sister. He took it fine and said he wouldn't do it again. I just now feel a little bit uncomfortable with this whole thing, and the fact that my brother in law's mind even went there. My boyfriend would never do anything like that. I totally respect them as parents and we resolved it all quickly. However, it's left me feeling super icky that this even came up as a conversation. What are your views on this?
And is it weird for a three and a half year old to shower with their semi uncle.
This is a hard one because there's going to be no right or wrong. This is going to be very dependent on literally the parents, and unfortunately it is up to the parents. I don't have kids, obviously, Guys, it's not a spoiler. I don't have kids, so it's hard for me to comment from what I would feel as a parent. Of course, you know your boyfriend's not going
to do anything otherwise you wouldn't be dating him. But at the end of the day, if the parents feel uncomfortable with you showering with him showering with them, I think that that is just something you need to accept and take.
Actually, when you said there is no right and wrong, I'm like, yeah, the right and wrong is whatever the parents think is.
Right and whatever else is wrong.
I understand where the feelings of like hurt come from because it's like, you would never.
You're so offended, he would never do that. Understand that.
I totally understand the offense. However, I think it does go beyond just around like a fear of predatory behavior, which obviously, like that is a huge fear that a lot of parents have, and their parents do put in a lot of parameters in place to make sure that their kids are safe, Like that's one thing that it's their responsibility to do so, regardless of the other person. It's as a parent, it's your responsibility to protect your children. But secondly to that, maybe being nude is also just
not something that they're very liberal within their household. Maybe they don't even shower with their kids.
Like people approach.
These things incredibly differently, and I think that there just has to be a respect for how the child's parents want it to go down. Like in our household, could I show with my nephew, absolutely, he's three and a half.
Would Matt shower with my nephew? Probably not.
Also, I guess the other thing as well as is children change so quickly, and other people could see the three and a half year old as being like, oh, like he's so little. He's three and a half, but three and a half year olds are super inquisitive little children. They ask lots of questions. They could put you in a position where you don't feel comfortable either by you know, asking about your penis or asking something that's like beyond the scope of what you are skilled in to have
that conversation with that child. So I think, like, just to avoid confrontation, to avoid any uncomfortable feelings. Yes, if you're going to get naked around somebody else's child for any reason, ask the parent.
Yeah, And it could be very different if, for example, you guys came back and he was like, oh, I'll just throw him in the bath, I'll watch him, that might be different for the parents he was. If he was on the sideline and he was just literally making sure the child was safe in the bath, that could be different as well. Again for the parent, that might be a no go. I think you're feeling upset because
of the implication. I think you're upset because you're looking at this as in, well, how dare they not trust my partner and how do they think that anything could go wrong? But that's not at the end of the day, that's not what it is.
No, and I don't think it is that either. Like I mean, I to be perfectly honest as a mum, I wouldn't really feel comfortable with Marley, who's two and a half, having a shower with her uncle, and not because I don't trust her uncle. Like I completely trust both both my sister's husband and Matt's sister's husband. I completely trust them both. But I also just don't want Marley to be in an environment where it's normal for her to be around naked older men, just other men exactly.
She definitely has had showers with her dad, and that's okay, and that's normal for us and in our house, But do I want her to think that it's normal for her to be naked around other people's husbands? Fucking absolutely no way, Like yeah, and it's not so much about the person, but it's reenforcing this idea around your children, around consent, around like what isn't isn't normal?
Like it should be your.
Child aut at three and a half should probably find it abnormal to be naked around somebody else who's also naked as an adult.
And there's so much tied into this.
I just think like at the end of the day, if you are ever in this situation, don't take it to personal offense because you know it comes what you were trying to do came with good intention. But also just understand that that parent, your sister, is trying to do the absolute best thing by her children and raise her children in a way that protects them and protects the way that they view the world. Well, said Laura, Well, it's a hard one, isn't it, Because I think I mean, yeah.
It is, but it isn't because it's like I just said, when I say there's no right or wrong, you're correct in saying, well, there is a right and wrong, because the right is just listening to the parents, and it's like we've just come full circle. It's unfortunately, that's what it comes down to. They're the guardians, they're a family. It's their choice to how they raise their child and what they allowed to happen in their house. Totally something you get on board.
With, totally, and it's not with the intention of offending. You think it's the big thing to take home from this, and it's.
Not with the intention. I love your partner and I'm sure they don't.
Think anything negative either, Like yeah, I can understand why it would be offensive, but I think, look at it from the other perspective is what I would kind of try and recommend in this situation. Alrightie, Question number three, Brittany, this is your one okay jump on in Okay.
So, a close girlfriend and I have been working together for a couple of years now. We had a work Christmas party. We both got super drunk and ended out evening separately playing the away game. So anyone that does not the away gaming is when they get down somewhere at town. I got up in the morning and headed home and then proceeded to pick her up once she woke up. I ended up staying at a randoms while she ended up at a hotel with one of our
married colleagues. Now, I don't like cheaters, and I got quite stern and upset at her. I believe that she is part of the problem, knowingly sleeping with a married man, even though it is a known thing that he does. I'm not telling the wife or even acknowledging him in the office. Luckily, we're in completely different departments, and I believe he is leaving, so I'm not worried about that. My friend however, thinks it's unfair of me to judge her,
and the onus does not lie with her. She's basically switched the narrative from ME being upset with her actions to how dare I judge her? I love my friend, but I don't think it's a fair argument on her behalf. And I think she's completely turned this on me. Woo.
This is such a good question because this is not just relative to this. It's like, if you know that your friend is actively going out and seeking out a relationship with a married person, are they at fault? That's like, it's a question that relates to so like, so many people would have experienced this.
Well, I literally in the last I guess it's probably last month. I know somebody, like I guess a friend, not necessarily a bad friend like these, but I know somebody. And it was a male and he slept in the married woman and told me and I well, it just came up in conversation. I got really mad and I got really upset, exactly like this girl, because I was like,
that's cooked. I was like, that's someone else's relationship some like and he's like yeah, but you know, like they're having problems and she says is probably nearly over anyway, blah blah blah blah blah, And I was like, oh, I'm hearing his excuses. At the end of the day. For me, you are knowingly breaking up someone or you're contributing to it to someone else's marriage problems, and personally, that's not cool for me. So I actually really resonate
with this question. The girl your friend is turning the narrative on you because she feels guilty, and she probably deep down knows that's pretty fucked. That's why she's trying to shift the blame. It's what people do when they're in the wrong. They always try and shift the blame to make themselves feel better.
Like there's a level of defensiveness with it, you think totally. I think it's interesting and I think that there's so much to unpack in this. Firstly, if you are somebody who's in a marriage and you've made that commitment, you're an a monogamous committed you said those vows. You are the person who is responsible for maintaining your relationship.
That is up to you.
And I think that I personally think that the sole onus of like responsibility in terms of where the cheating took place is on the married man, I don't think it's on the temptation. However, does that mean that the person who actively sought him out actively was the one flirting and trying to get into bed with someone who's a married man is absolved of all sort of moral compass in this. I think it's a reflection that your friend doesn't have respect for the boundaries of his relationship either.
And I guess at the end of the day, like you can't force your friend to see things the way that you see things. You can't force your friend to have the same morals that you have, or to view things in the way that makes you feel aligned. And this is something that I don't think you guys are going to agree on. If she's so headstrong that she doesn't feel like she's done anything wrong, then that's a reflection of how she views relationships and of how she
views monogamy and she views other people's relationships. And I don't think you're going to change that. I think you have to accept that you view this very differently. She's not sorry for it, and is that something that you can overcome? Do you want to be friends with somebody who actively seeks out married men, or is that such a wedge that you might want to take a step back from the relationship.
Yeah, I think you just need to say to her, cool, do what you want, but don't tell me about it. If you don't want to know about it totally, that's fine. Do what you want, don't tell me about it, because no, I'm not cool with it. Question though, But also, don't let her put this on you. And maybe you can say that too, Maybe you can say, Look, you can't come at me for having a problem with your sleeping with a married man. I'm going to be displeased with
it every time you tell me. So let's just keep the friendship as a friendship. Don't tell me when you're sleeping with someone that's in a relationship.
And I think it's the part of this question that's actually gets so sticky is that it goes beyond just sleeping with someone who's in a relationship.
It's shitting where you eat, like this is literally.
Your workplace and these are your work hool So I guess that and that you've been brought into it, and yeah, and you have been embroiled in this because you had to pick her up.
You know what happened.
So I guess that there's more to this situation than when it happens just in like a normal friendship and you find out that your friend's sleeping with a married man or a married woman. Whoever, in this instance, I think that like you as a person have been dragged into it more than you opted into it, if that
makes sense. But at the same time, I think like, let people deal with their own shit, their own junk, let them behave in a way that they want to behave in and it doesn't have to reflect on you. And then you decide where your boundaries lie with that person. Do you want to maintain the friendship? Does it make you frustrated? If you don't want to hear about it, then exactly what Britt said, tell them like, I'm so
not for this. I disagree with what both you are doing, and I think that you both have responsibilities in this and it's not cool with me. I don't want to know what would you do? Here's my question. If I was single and I started hooking up with a married man, what would be your opinion of me if I did that?
Oh, I would for sure it out with you. No, I wouldn't have it out of you, but I would let you. I wouldn't be happy about it. But that's just because I guess because I've been on the receiving end, and I think anyone that's been in that situation where you're in a relationship and your partner's doing the dirty on you for you know, maybe it's once, maybe it's a long period of time. I think it hits differently once you've lived it. Maybe this girl's never been cheated on,
maybe she's never had anyone be unfaithful to her. I guess there is a level and I don't even come in I'm going to say this, but there's a level that might be dependent on the situation. So, for examplered percent.
I think cheating it or cheating is different. I don't think that there's one brushstroke that you can be like once a cheater, always a cheater, or every situation is the same, Like, there are definitely different environments and situations that need to be taken into consideration when cheating's involved.
Well, yeah, so I have a friend. This is going back, I mean ten years now. I have a friend that was cheating someone was she was single, but she was sleeping with a guy that was in a very committed relationship, and I never see to her, but I was like, it's just so for fucked, Like that's how I felt inside. I was just like, why are you doing that? There are so many men in the world. And I think I had the conversation with her once and she said,
I can't explain it. There's something there, like I'm not just sleeping with him because I want to have sex. She's like, there's just something unexplainable. And they would because I'm trauma bonded to have a situation. But they went on to get married and have kids. Yeah, because I guess what was there obviously that that person's relationship wasn't right and it turned out to be a bit of
a happy ending for the other relationship. So I'm not saying that I'm not condoning that, but I'm saying there are situations where I guess, I don't want to even use the word leaning. I don't know what the right word is. There are situations where I guess it can be more acceptable. But if you came to me and you're like, hey, fucking this guy that's marriage just because he's hot, I'd be like, Laura, that's not cool. Like I wouldn't want to know. I'd be like totally, and
I would probably advise you. As a friend. I'd be like, as a friend, I'm going to advise you to stop doing that immediately. But then if you're going to continue to do it, that's completely your choice. Takes two to ten go, but I wouldn't want to know about it.
I think one of the big things that we've learned from doing this podcast is that, like, relationships are so tricky and that and not just tricky in that they're hard to navigate, but there you do a boom and where do you go to the public toilet? No, but there are so many things that go on in a relationship, so it's hard to just black and white anything, even cheating, even though we know that cheating is so detrimental to people, it is so hurtful and damaging and like a really
fucking horrible thing to do to someone. We know that there is nothing in life that is black and white and is a void of that gray area. I guess in this instance and this particular question and situation, the reason why I kind of feel like your friend is contributing to it more or really should assess her own actions. It's because she doesn't care about the other person. It's her lack of empathy for the woman who he's married to.
It's the lack of caring about her at all that makes me think carelessly and recklessly can go in intentionally fuck up someone's relationship when it means nothing to them, like it was a one night hookup, a hang and bang, and like she just doesn't care about what that looks like there's no remorse for it.
Well, when I sort of said exactly that how I felt to this guy that I know, when I was like, look, put yourself in that position, just for example, reverse it that as in people we would know, Like you know, I was like, if this person was cheating on you with this person, blah blah blah, imagine how you would feel. And he was like, yeah, you're right, He's like I just He's like, I guess it's so it's so innocent and you believe what they say. You're like, oh, it's
coming to an end anyway, it doesn't matter. But he was like, it does matter. I realized that I was probably just accepting what they were saying. As gospel because it suited the situation totally, and he was like, I will never do it again. You are absolutely right, that was not right.
I think that in this instance, she's just shown that she really has a lack of empathy for other people and doesn't have any remorse, And that's where the frustration lies.
If Jason momoa your whole pass. If you were out at a bar and he came up to you and he was like, I saw you from across the room, you were so beautiful, never and he said, do you want to come back to my farm? I have You could not get into temperate.
There is nothing nobody in this world that would even remotely make me okay.
As much as we joke about it.
Yeah, but like I've lived on the other side of it, I have cheated and I have been cheated on.
To what I said. Once you've I think, once you've experienced it and it might go it might go the other way. Some people might maybe once they have experienced cheating, maybe it makes them be cheated under again. There's no like one size fits all for this. But for me being on the other side, I hope to God I never cheat on anyone. I hope there's no ever temptation at any point in my life, and I don't imagine there would be because I'm not like that. But for me it did the other thing.
It made me be so off cheatersh Well, I think the thing with that is like some people cheat, they get away with it, and therefore it then becomes like, well, I can just do this. There's normal and there's no remorse and there's no empathy all that shit that I just talked about.
But for other people, like.
When I say, and I know that even when I say, oh, I've cheated in the past, that there will be some people who will listen to that and be like fuck, that's because nobody wants to admit that they've cheated in the past. You're so put into a basket of being like a bad person, like a leopard can't change his spots. Yeah, like, once a cheater, always a cheater. But I guess from my personal experience is I've seen how damaging it can be.
I've seen how hurtful it can be, and I've seen the pain I caused somebody else by doing it, and I would never want to do that to somebody I care about ever Again. So for me, it was like a huge lesson that I also on the flip side of that, have been cheated on so many times as well, and I know how fucked it is, and it wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
And if you're going through it and we're here with jasonma nobody, Okay, I'll just text him until I'm not to come over them.
I mean, I still want to have I want to watch him. I want to see him in re alive. I want to like rub somebody on him and like, you know, just watch him.
My life mission is to try to get some form of contact with Jason Momoa for you, whether it's lying you get into do me a birthday. I'll try. I'm I'm like, can I try to get a video from him? I've actually I'm not gonna lie. I already tried once. He didn't write back.
It's my birthday next week, So anyone wants to slide into my DMS with a birthday video from Jason Momoa umor here for even if he was just like.
Working out and I scooped up some sweat and the jaff room and gave something like there's got to be something in it. Anyway, That is it guy, That is it from us.
But we also have an absolutely fucking cracking episode for you next week on Tuesday. If you put it in your diaries, I want to see you all six am Tuesday. Next week, we are interviewing MARKA.
Groves. I always feel bad when we do this and we haven't interviewed the man. You know what's in casey cancels. The interviews booked in like a day or two. But in case something goes wrong. I always hate like telling people what it's going to be in case something happens. Because he's overseas internationally, he's very popular.
So in case something does go wrong, Okay, we're supposed to be interviewing him tomorrow.
Morning at nine am our time or eight am our time.
If that goes terribly not to plan, then he won't be on the podcast and we don't really have a backup, and we have no fucking back up. But at the moment, it is Mark Groves and he If you guys haven't looked him up, go online. Find him on Instagram. His instagram is Create the Love. Mark is an readible relationship expert.
Well he refers to himself actually as a human connection specialist. So he's just very deep in the world of love and lust and relationships, and he puts out heaps of like really inspirational quotes that I also look at on his Instagram. I've looked at him for a long time. I've followed him for a long time. He's got a million followers. A lot of you probably know about him, but if you don't, go and look him up, because I find him a really nice go.
To And he's also just like he's such a modern day philosopher when it comes to relationships and how relationships evolve and how we navigate them. We're going to be doing a massive deep dive, not just in relationships, but specifically.
I think this is going to be a really great.
Episode for our single people and also for people who maybe are like finding themselves in a tricky situation in their current relationships and going through a bit of a like a all right, where is this heading?
Where are we now? Type episode? Well, he wants to help people love better, he wants to help them connect deeper, communicate with intention. It's going to be something that I don't think we've spoken to somebody previously, not like him, not like him, so I'm excited. You should get excited. Laurie's excited and hope he doesn't cancel him, but I I'm so fucking excited.
Anyway, guys, that is it from us, and this week we hope that you've loved to ask Uncut questions. If you have any questions for next week and you want to slide on into our DMS, you can do so at Life Uncut Podcast. You can also come and join the Juicy US Facebook discussion group, which is the Life Uncut Discussion Group, because that's where all the sexy stuff goes down.
And don't forget so tell your mum to your dad, tell you dog to your friends, and share the love because we love love